Hello From The Magic Tavern - Season 4, Ep 27 - Flower Tries to Not Visit

Episode Date: May 16, 2022

Apparently Flower has been in Nibblebottom this whole time and has been avoiding the podcast. Until now.CreditsArnie: Arnie NiekampChunt: Adal RifaiDorisue: Matt YoungFlower: Brooke BreitMysterious Man: Tim SniffenProducers: Arnie Niekamp, Matt Young, and Adal RifaiPost-Production Coordination: Garrett SchultzEditor: Stephen DrangerMagic Tavern Logo: Allard LabanTheme Music: Andy PolandYou can support the show directly and receive bonus episodes and rewards by joining our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/magictavern for only $5 per month. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram, and now Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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But until you figure out how to navigate to another page or simply turn your browser or media player off, you're ours. And like a dad with partial custody and shoddy time management skills, we're going to waste a lot of our time together on fluff and then try to cram in some sort of lesson in the last 45 seconds, just so you know what's coming. And a week from now we'll do it all over again. So go toss your things in the laundry room where I set up a cot for you, grab a piece of the party sub that's been in the fridge since Easter, sit back and start the podcast

Oh, all right. Well, I just I just I just talk about the rock on the podcast I might cut it out, but we'll see all right. You can definitely talk about it, but I can't promise anyone will hear it Okay, also before we go out, I just want to confirm are you still dead? Oh, yes for today's episode I shall still be in the guise of Dorasu, the fat meaty store store. Okay, all right, I'm glad we're starting to do these pre-episode check-ins. I think they're really gonna make the podcast episodes

a lot more on the rails. Just touch it, it's so, so smooth. Nope, nope, nope, no, no, thank you. All right, okay, gonna spank myself with a table. Hmm, hello from the Magic Tavern. A weekly podcast from the magical land of fume on your host Arne Neekamp. If you've never listened to the podcast before,

this is everything you need to know. Seven years, two months and two weeks ago, I fell through a dimensional portal behind a Burger King in Chicago into the magical, fantastical land of fume. Luckily, I'm still getting a Wi-Fi signal from the Burger King through the dimensional rift. And I use that to upload this podcast

recorded here in the tavern, the strange familiar and the town of nibble bottom in the magical land of fume. And I'm joined, as always, by mmm. Thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks. Whoa, oh, sorry, sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You made it just in time. Yeah, sorry, I've thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks. Whoa. Oh, sorry, thanks, darling. I'm sorry, I'm going. You made it just in time. Yeah, sorry, I've been a whole hall-y-a-baby.

I've been run a little ragged, so sorry about my appearance, but I'm here and I'm ready to do the show. Are you okay? Yes and no, I'm a little, like I said, I'm a little tired, I'm a little worse for wear. Arnie, do you know how recently we passed seven years? Well, yes, it was two months and two weeks ago, I believe. Off the top of my head.

Around that time, I got a big crate in the mail with a bunch of air holes, and I just now opened it, and you'll never guess what was inside. A common law marriage certificate. No, but that's a great, weird guess. Thank you. Arnie, do you want a version of you? Closer. Closer. It's my nephew clunky clunky

Yeah, he's here to inject some new energy into the show after seven years. Oh, yes Well, I'll equate to it clunky. We're known him for a long time. Oh clunky. I have never met clunky I'll introduce him, but he did request that I sing his little theme song. Great. Okay, you know, let me get out the paper here that came with the box. Ahem, bram.

He's a darling little badger from way down south. He's kind of sassy with the big old mouth. He's a little bit hunky, a little bit chunky. He's clonky, clonky. Sorry, all three of us have to say clunky together here we go Oh, one two three clunky Well, hey y'all it's nice to be here. Oh Again clunky. What are you doing with that pie? Oh?

Nothing just like that cool on the wind the seal clunky John are you sure this is your cousin? It's my nephew. Oh But that's the thing Arnie. I don't remember having siblings and even if I did Why would my nephew be a badger? I'm a shapeshifter. I don't understand Arnie. Can I be honest? Yeah? I don't understand what's going on in them flipping out Okay Look he's eating that pie look at Flipping out. Okay, he's not stuck. Look, he's eating that pie.

Look at the jam all over his face. And he just used his tongue to lick off his eyeballs and his neck and chin in one fail swoop. I don't know what's going on, but this motherfucker is up to all kinds of high jinks. He's a little scrappy too. I don't like that. He's a little scrappy, which is annoying.

Okay. My ears are burning and I already guess what yours are too. Oh, fuck, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. Too many pranks. Guys, one, two, three. Clunky. Guys, I can't stress enough fucking say clunky or else he gets mad. Okay. One, two, three. Clunky. Are you trying to get me fucking realized? Clunky, I finished your homework for you.

Oh, let me double check it. Rip in half, smack across the face. Oh, ah! Pukin' lap. Ow. How dare you slap a human who learned magic. Big fat me. Oh, ah! Pukin lap. Ow. How dare you slap a human who learned magic. Big fat me. Oh, I'm sorry.

Uh, clonky clonky, whichever your name is nephew cousin, if you could just give us a moment, I have not introduced my other new co-host. Uh, Dorisu. I am Dorisu, a sorcerer who's a human who learned magic, like a big fat idiot who wasn't bored magical. And now I'm just a big meat sack who does magic. Put Rake in front of Wizard. Ow!

No. Oh, I just went through his foot. I thought it would smack him in the head. It's not the prank so much as he's constantly monologizing the more he does it that annoys me. Clunky. Fuckonky, fuck. Clonky. Dorisu, Dorisu. Yes, there's something about Clonky. Oni, it's actually me, Yusudou.

Yeah, I know. We talked about this like two minutes ago. Okay, I'm a little concerned about Chant. Like this nephew of his, he seems to be terrified of him. Yes, I'm very worried about Chant, like this nephew of his, he seems to be terrified of him. Yes, I'm very worried about Chant, but I'm also worried that Clunky isn't doing as well as she should be in math. Clunky's a piece of shit. What? It's a child! How dare you speak out of a child like that!

I'm not convinced that's a child, also. Oh really? Arnie goes to adjust his hat and it's really clunky in the shape of a hat spit in your eyes Clunky stop telling me what you're doing while you're doing it also. That's barely a prank Yeah, it's not speaking of barely a prank you guys I cannot stop drinking bear piss. Oh Yeah, you've really been into bear piss recently. It's quite in bear pissing You've really been into bear piss recently. It's quite in bear pissing. Can't you talk me to say that?

Yes, I'm sure. I'm sure clunky did tell you to say that. That seems like a chun thing. Fine, it was me. What are we doing this week? Do we have a guest on? No, I find it. It would be nice to not have a guest on this one.

No, no, no, no, no, no. Good, good, good. And just sort of catch up and sort of wait, I guess he don't mind. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, you never gave it a chance. It was, I feel like we could have had a whole spin-off series where I'm just saying, do you see that over there? And you're seeing your amusing things. Fine, let's play around. Let's play around, okay. Well, here's a thing, do-or.

I'm not even really like playing it right now, I think. Am I crazy? Yes. Is that flower over by the door? A flower. Well, we did have a baking bear somewhat recently, so maybe he dropped a bag of flower, but oh my god, it says flower! Flower! Is that you? I think she didn't want us to see it. Flower up here.

Hey guys. Blue and flowers. Oh, yeah, so going to see you. Wow, funny running into you here. Wow, it's fucking great. It makes my fucking day. Oh yes, it's a pleasure to meet you. I wouldn't have recognized you because you have that zipped up overcoat, but clearly at the base of the overcoat is a giant pot.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, full disclosure. Last time I saw you, I never left the area. Yeah, I just been around here, but I keep seeing you guys around. I just, I don't wanna fucking talk. So I just been sort of lurking on the shadows. You've been in the nevel bottom since Winter Solstice.

And you've been avoiding us? Yep. Can we ask why? Yeah, I don't want to do more fucking talk. You know when you're just not in the mood sometimes? Oh, okay. Like you need some space. Can I ask why?

Why? Why are you not in the mood to talk to us? I always have a good question. Um, I don't think you necessarily need an answer to that. Yeah, I mean, if that doesn't stop me, you look inside yourself and you're like, I don't know, do I feel like, engageable today?

Do I feel like a friendly presence that would be inviting to another individual to come over and talk to me. So like every time I see you at this table, I would get the fucking worst vibes. I've ever sensed in my life and it just was a real quick whoop turn around get out here We have anything to do with clunky clunky. What the fuck is clunky?

Question also you sure I did what happened in which are what? I'm not you so I am dola su the the saucer. Okay Sure, man So we was like I want to back up just a second flower yours you're not enough room at the table well you know sometimes you were getting to a booth and you're like oh it's too tight on this side I got no no okay but also I'm just I'm the only human sized one here except for Dora Sue right or all our own size.

That's weird Arnie. Sure. I'm the only badger sized thing here. Well not anymore. Oh shit, you're right. Clunky. Clunky. Oh he's riding a horse around the bar.

Let's listen to that for 10 seconds. I get tired and fell off. Never had to. Weird how he didn't say anything while he rode that horse. I'm shaped like a human with just a single butthole, and I love casting magical spells that I learned at school. Flower. Yeah.

Flower. Yeah. It's really me, you should have asked me the whole time. Can I tell you that I'm fucking no? And that's pretty obvious to me, but I appreciate you telling me, because it feels like we now have an open secret. Oh, wonderful. Wonderful.

Is there some reason you didn't come to my deathbed? Or if you were in town? I'm sometimes like again, don't like formal gatherings. Sure, sure, sure. You know, it's like I like a kind of casual on my terms. Oh, also didn't know about it. Oh, it's a deal. Hey guys, I'm so sorry to butt in.

Flower, were you saying earlier, at first I thought you were saying that you've been avoiding us in the general area, but then it sounds like you've actually been in the tavern several times. Have you been avoiding us in the tavern this whole time? Well, yeah, most of the time. I mean, like, it's pretty well known

that I like to drink. Mm-hmm. So I've been coming in a lot. I take it to go, taking me package goods to go. Have you tried the cab bear nay? Is that bear piss? Cause Chant's been guzzling that stuff. Yup.

I don't think I like it, but I'll be honest. It's got oak notes. Hmm. I've had a Cadbury-N-Egg. Oh, yeah? I can take one bite and then I'm done. Yeah, that's a lot of piss. God, I'm hearing more and more people talk up this bear piss.

Is this the thing or eventually I'm going to start drinking bear piss? Already don't start because it's so, and bear pissing. I mean, maybe you and I should start drinking bad piss Fine, I'll go get some at the ball. Oh god damn it. So flour. I guess I was gonna ask you What do you been up to but I guess you've been just sort of hiding in the strange familiar for months and months trying to not That's part of it. I've been coming in a lot just like, you know when I feel like it But otherwise I have a nice little smoothie shack like the Basin amount.

Oh, it's bright, you've never stopped over there. Like a lot of blame on me being like, why have you come say hello when it's clearly I'm running a business as the Basin amount. I've been so busy myself. I've been, you know, I've been apprenticing with the local Cooper and there's just been a lot of drama around that.

So I'm so sorry that I haven't been to your smoothie shop. Also, I don't like smoothies particularly, so I probably won't ever come to your smoothie shop. That's fair, you've been spent too much time hanging with Mr. Cooper. Yeah, exactly. Well, what's the name of your shop and what kind of flavors do you have?

It's called smoothie.ly. Oh my god. Five O's. Okay. It's got five O's. What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that?

What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that?

What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? So all the flavors start with O? No. Oh. Huh. Why Eee? Five O's? I wanted to emphasize how people should say it, because I wanted people to be excited,

be like smoothie. Like when you see it. Yeah. So all of them have a fruit base, and then I put one dangerous ingredient in there. Oh. Is it always the same dangerous ingredient? No, I just went over like the poison of the day

and sometimes it's broken glass. Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, sometimes it's like a road salt, you remember I used to deal with salt, the salt business. Oh yeah, I got a lot of less of results. Salt the slow poison. Yeah, sometimes it's just a snake

So there's a snake in the smoothie and the snake like pops out and poison you yeah, yeah, not everything will poison you It's just everything's gonna hurt you in some way. Oh sure. Yeah. Yeah speaking of which here's your bad piss, honey Oh, yeah, hmm. I think I'm gonna pass you barely barely touched it. Good choice, Arnie, because once you start drinking it, it's so embarrassing. Well, let's take a break. So, flower, I know, I'm a little hurt that you've been avoiding us, but it is, it's nice to see you again, you're one of our best friends.

Yeah, it's great to see you. Yeah, yeah, it's, um, it's good. Like I, I think that's why like it was meant to be back together this time, you know, it's been enough time, that is not too much, but then you're like, okay, we could talk, we could figure it out. That's great. And it sucks that you didn't show up for use the door's funeral, but did you at least shit Chivva? No, I didn't shit Chivva, because again, I didn't know about it, or kind of fucking care, a little bit both, you know?

Yeah, I'm sure fair enough, yeah, of course. Yeah, yeah, but I would have. That seemed to be the general consensus that people didn't care, that Yusudor died, and now that I, Doros who appear to take his place, I guess it doesn't matter, who cares, who gives a shit? Doros, can I ask, you know, just being a stupid meatbag human and not a wizard who could inferior live forever? Do you ever worry about dying or your own mortality?

Yeah, I'll probably die in the next few days, because humans have very short lifespan. So, you know, I think, how long have you been alive? 10, 12 days? Me? Yeah. I mean, at least seven years, two months and two weeks. Oh, right, try, try, try, try.

Okay, I guess I might live a little longer than I thought then. You know, Flower, I don't know if we've ever asked you this before, and maybe this is a little rude of a question. Here we go. Wait, how far along in your life cycle are you? Like, Flower, how long do flowers live? Are you a perennial? I am a millennial.

I, you know what? I am not really aware, I don't recognize age. Sort of like just like seasons, it's a seasonal existence. So it's like depending on my relationship to the weather. So it's like opening up more in the warm or sunny or weather, kind of closing up when it's cold and the sun's not there. But I don't really have a birthday. Oh, we just actually this, I don't think,

but do you want to have seeds someday? Do I want to have seeds? Well, I mean, I always have seeds. Do I want them to like, thank you. What are their names? No, no, I have seeds. Like seeds are a part of me, but do I want to like spread them?

Oh, I guess I didn't, I guess I, I have seats like seeds are a part of me, but do I want to like spread them? Oh, I guess I didn't I guess I have little seedlings like little buds and stuff I mean I guess we can ask the whole quite table that question. Yeah, let's go around and talk about fuckers What's everyone to do with their seeds? Yeah, well, I also this one out because famously I only had one seed and I use it to make aga baby who's now lost to the four wins But someone else go. Yeah, there was no cup to all. Yeah, I mean I mean I've been jizzing an average amount But I don't know where it all goes exactly great. Who can keep track like where is it now? I don't know No, we're weird No, we're weird. There's a thing. No, we're weird. Oh, the lady does protest too much. It's absolutely somewhere weird

And we mustn't cut out that pause before he says that I'm not you, Dorkasu Well, you know humans have a short lifespan and part of their whole deal is the next generation and creating new life to Spread their legacy on, but no, thanks. Should I check out the next generation? Does it hold up?

Yeah, I think it's pretty strong entry. Okay, I've just never taken a lot of interest in the next generation because it's like, I'm my generation. And it feels like the next generation maybe went on for too long or will go on for too long. I suppose it's not a thing that needs to be revisited particularly.

It was a thing of its time. And the next generation is of a particular time and that's The next the next group of kids Discovery Listen, I don't really think about it a lot because uh not knowing like kind of how long I'll be around or Where I started where I'm going. I um, I don't know, it's just not in my periphery. Sort of I have seeds. I think if it occurs to me that I wanna do more with that,

then I'll do it. But right now I just don't feel that pressure. Like it's just kinda like living my life, making dangerous smoothies, traveling where I will, avoiding my friends. So do you have all of your seeds? Like, there's never been an occasion where like the wind is just like picked up one of your seeds

and blown it away somewhere? Aw, honey. I'm sure that's happened. Okay, this is a funny story. I choked on one of my seeds one time. Oh, no, we've all been there. Yeah, already what? Do you have a weird way? Do you have a hiccup and sneeze and kind of fart all at the same time?

Yeah, right now. Yeah, yeah, I was just kind of in one of those situations you caught me by surprise and I was by myself and I was like, double to die because I just started joking on my own, got to the upside and I was like, what do I do? What do I do? And I just remembered my first day training that I ever had, like, you know, just to get into Null, I survived. First thing I was taught, so I got like, I'll forget to share and just started jamming it into my stem, trying to get that seed out, just like jamming it. But then I realized that like, I eat through the roots. So like, I was like, oh, fuck, it's stuck in a root. Stuck in a root.

Those are like, bang on the roots. So I was like, oh fuck, it's stuck in a root! It's stuck in a root! It was like bang on my roots, we're like broken pieces of a chair, just like whacking at it, whacking at it until the seat came out and I was like, I don't know how that was even possible, but I just, I stared death in the fucking face. What a heroine tale. You know, Flawah, I think in all the years

we've known you so many questions we haven't asked you, I realize now. You said you had first aid trading. Did you have other other schooling that we should know about? Did you get second aid trading or third aid training? Yeah you know what I went through all the age training I went first second third home base. I went through all of them, figure it out. Can we go into a little more detail about what you learn in each of those AIDS trainings? First aid training. Mouth to mouth. We all think it's different but yeah I think you're right about that. Yeah I think that's right. Second aid training is like a little bit

of a little bit of fingers. Sure. Cause sometimes you just gotta check out the area and make sure everything's okay. Yup, yup, don't be afraid to use your hands, figure it out, explore. Third aid training is just full on, throw your body at the other body.

It's body on body, you know. This is gonna be a weird question. In third age training, like body on body, but you're still, everyone still keeps their clothes on, right? Yes, yeah, it's no, there's no sliding into home. Because that's safe for home base. And home base is just, is full on penetration. So like surgery.

It sounds like you said surgery. Like surgery, yeah. You get into the guts. You're getting your poking guns. Yeah. I am an amateur doctor. So it's like, you know, just learning all these things. Like have I performed surgery?

Yes. Was it, I asked to? No. And I'm so sorry, Flower, all this time. Should we be referring to as Dr. Flower? No, you know what? Like again, it was a casual training. I'm not officially a doctor, but I have performed the activities of a doctor. So more like, Flower CM CMD casual medical doctor. Oh casual medical doctor, I like the sound of that.

I would be an exciting A series of plays to go see flower CMD. What about instead of medical casual botanical doctor flower CBD? Oh, yeah, casual but awkward, doctor. Is that legal? I think. The vibe of this show though, I think maybe it's more of a flower casual but tentacle surgeon. Because it feels like this is really more of a CBS type of show.

Okay, okay. They would just be sort of like, you know, for the older generation, a little procedural, interesting, still exciting, lots of good character development, but a little slower paced. It really gets my blue blood flowing, I gotta say that. Yeah, talk about Grey's Botany. Oh, I've all- Oh, I've all-

Oh, I've all- Oh, I've all- Oh, I've all- Oh, I've all- Oh, I've all- Oh, I've all- Oh, I've all- Oh, I've all- Oh, I've to learn magic, I think it's very important that no matter what your profession is and what you've learned, that you follow your joy in life. So I think it's wonderful that you've opened up this new business and are now selling these very dangerous smoothies.

I think that's an exciting new chapter for you. opened up this new business and are now selling these very dangerous smoothies. I think that's an exciting new chapter for you. Thank you. I just kind of try to make it work wherever I am. But what about, I never ask you any questions. You're asking you, like, what's your training? Do you have training? Because like, I know what I went through,

just it's more just like tactical skills related to being a doctor without being a doctor, but like, what kind of training did you all go through? I have a little bit of training. As a shapeshifter, I did have to learn mouse to mouse, just in case, just in case of an emergency. And also, there was a donkey version of that as well that you did, right?

As to ask. Which was famously during my period where I was having a Requiem for a dream. And I would just scream that. So I have a, yeah, just a little bit of training, but a lot of it is specific to animals. Dorisou or Arne, do you have any training? Well, I had to go to Gisilnab Preparatory School

for young wizards that inappropriately named school, where I became a sorcerer. And there, I learned a number of things, like over the pants, was it you know, like over the pants. Oh, over the pants and through the woods, the grandmother shows we go. That's right. That's one of my favorites. Let's see. We did learn about consent there, signing consent forms before you form any magic on anyone. Did you have oral exams?

We did have oral exams, yes. And I did it one time on top of a wardrobe. Wow! How are your eyes? Hey. That sounds like a nice chested drawers. On Earth, I actually had an advanced degree. I got an MFA in creative writing. You know, it was fine. Not particularly useful. Does that one? I call it a MFA. MFA in creative writing. You know, it was fine, not particularly useful. Does that one actually call it a MFA?

MFA? MFA? MFA? Can I just call that a- That's not a fuck as a creative writer. Anybody noticed that Clunky got in trouble with the owner of the bar and is being forced to paint the whole bar? Yeah, but he tricks some, he tricks some sent our next home into painting it so

Clunky clunky Cylian Although clunky's been using some really questionable language. It hasn't ages appropriately Well, the minute we start banning clunky is the minute we start banning everyone already. It's a slippery slope Let's take another break unless you got unless you got something. No, no, just that that reminds me that the thing I tried before the smoothie Stam was I opened up a yogurt stand called cancel culture That's all let's take a break We're trying to get your stand closed down. Yeah, I do last one. Mission accomplished.

And that's when I spent another five years learning how to fight with the sword and the shield. Uh, because as a human, no magic isn't enough, I have to also be able to do some boy human things. I-I-I-Do humans talk about being human as much as I do. I mean, sometimes it just-it just depends. Like if they're poets sometimes they do. They talk about the human condition. Oh. Oh, maybe. Maybe Doris should be a poet. But he wouldn't be aware of it. Can we hear some of Doris' poetry? Should we give you a topic? Please, anything at all.

Uh, rocks. Behold, this smooth rock. The smoothest and most beautiful of rocks found just this past week. Touch its surface. Feel its. Touch it's surface. Feel, it's smooth and supple surface. Yes, supple for a rock. I, for yes, it is porous and feels so soft and in hand,

even though it still has the density of rock. We love you, rock. Rock, be our rock. Can I have that to put in a smoothie yeah sure here you go okay thank you you said smooth and pour and I think dingling very appropriate put it in do you do any bubble teas not on purpose just if they get a lot of air in them. Yeah, sometimes like I've poured a drink and then I've been like, well there's not enough drinking here. So like I put the straw in and then blow into it to try to like

increase the volume a little bit, guess a little foamy. So yeah, I guess you could call that bubble tea. Yeah, wait, did you also operate that little stand? Macha, cha, cha. I did! Okay, so now you know about it. Yeah, so good. It sold cigars and macha. Yup, every time someone woke up, I say,

what's a macho would you? That was like my fun catchphrase. For that particular stand. I try a lot of different stands. You know, I don't really have a good culinary craft, but I just try to dabble in it just like that's your tree. Can I just say there's one stand I say operating that I made a conscious effort to stay away from?

Where I think for like 0.5 rubies, you were giving out advice? Yeah, that was, I just, again, I've got my good listener. So I like to tell people like what I think about their problems, if they tell me about their problems, and then when they're done, I like to throw a football at them. You know, it's interesting, Flour,

before you told us, not to refer to you as a doctor, but I feel like on your stand, it would say the Flour doctor is in. I feel like you're being a little Lucy with the facts. Yeah, I see what you did. No further question. No. That'll shoulder.

That'll shoulder. Well, it looks like Clunky has gotten to a new hijink over there. Apparently he ate too much food. And now he can't go out on his date tonight. Is he old enough to go on dates? Oh, clunky. Is he old enough to go on dates? John.

Honestly, the paper that was in the crate says he's 12, but this motherfucker has the strength of a 45-year-old man. 45-year-old man, famously strong. Also, when we were on a break, I looked over and Clunky was at the bar like reading over some documents that I think was its retirement paperwork. Oh, Clunky! Clunky!

Clunky! He also has the tired eyes of a 45 year old man. And he has a zipper in the back of his skin. Are you sure this is your nephew? What I bet is he unzips that fur. He gets out of it. And like Arnie said, he ends up being your cousin and not your nephew.

Hmm. Now that we're just talking about things that are weird about clunky, besides just the zipper on the back of his skin, have you also noticed that he seems to be like looking out of his mouth? Like his mouth has opened really wide at the time. Arnie, hold on, you're talking about his mouth eyes?

Yeah, yeah, his eyes above his nose are dead and glass and glaced over, but the two eyes inside his mouth are very alert and very, very conniving. I could do that. He smells really strongly of fried dough. Does anyone notice that? How in bear pissing?

I didn't notice that. I was like like I need to thought, hmm, right doe, and I wished to devour that elephant here. It seemed so delicious in my mind's eye, and I could not have it. Clunky! Clunky, get over here! Hi, did someone say clunky? Clunky! Clunky! Clunky! Did you guys notice that every time we say clunky he looks to his right slightly and shrugs as if there's someone looking at him Yeah, there's nothing there. Who is he doing that pose for? How no now clunky flower smelled some fried dough on you And I want to know if you've been eating fried dough. Uh oh, he's clunky and trouble. I had a cheer out.

I think this is gonna be a very special episode of Clunky. Do you want me to talk to him? Yeah, let's have a serious talk to him about fried dough. Hit clunky? Yeah. What's your fucking deal, man? You just came out of nowhere? You're a fox.

You mean it went off the rails. You just came, where nowhere. You're a fox. Me and I went off the rails. You just came. Wait, what are you trying to pull on these nice, nice friends of mine here? I have a fucking fuckload of questions for you. And I'll... Where the fuck do you care of? Mother fuckload. No, seriously, I'm simply shouting peace shit.

Take that zipper. See it all the way around your weird fucking body And I want you to take a deep look at yourself in your own deadless eyes Can you look at yourself from the mouth eyes into your glass eyes and ask yourself what your wish or end game here? What are you trying to do? What are you trying to accomplish? Did you think you're gonna do it? How long are you gonna be around your piece of shit? Yeah, oh my god. This is no one's ever talked to Clunky that way. I'm not for you.

He's just hanging his head. He's defeated. I've been thrown off a motherfucking cliffy piece of shit. What are you gonna do? Oh, he's unzipping his... I know this is weird that I'm narrating for him now, but he's zipping off his fur. Oh, is that my cousin? No, I don't know who that is, but he's walking out the door. Wow, what a weird guy.

He looks so weird on the inside, but let's not describe it. No, I was gonna say his costume looked exactly like what he looked like on the inside. I know. Why was someone do that? I know, I know this is the same thing. Here's the weird thing. Still had a zipper on the back. Still eyes looking out of the mouth.

Just slightly small. Oh, that is so weird. How deep does that go with you thing? I don't know. I think if we keep on zipping, there's gonna be a dead rat inside. Probably. And also, his sweater says, doesn't say clonky.

This one says, dolongky. Huh, what does it say Arnie? Do-long-ky. Which I know is a terrible name and hard to say, but that's what it says. That is what it says. That is, that is,

canonically what it says. So we do have to support that and have fun with it. We love that, guys. Oh, do-long-ky. Oh, do-long-ky. Do-long-ky. Do-long-ky. Do-long-ky. Well, speaking of taking the long key home,

I have an email here. This is to chuntwith6tzatgmail.com. Already, do we have time for an email? Yeah, I think so. Dr. Flower, are you in for email questions? Oh, yeah, I like answering it. So this one is from Isaac Green. Isaac says, hello, I'm a long time listener of the show

from Shy Cargo. Are these that where you're from? Yeah, Shy Cargo. So this one is from Isaac Green. Isaac says, hello, I'm a long time listener of the show from Shy Cargo. Arnie, is that where you're from? Yeah, Shy Cargo. And have been enjoying the recent Patreon content. Oh, Isaac, thank you so much. My question is for Yusudor. Oh, well, he's passed away.

He died. And Chant, when did they first meet? How did they become friends? And why? Wishing you all the best and appreciate everyone who works on the show? When did we first meet you know you know you story? I have just known each other for since you know a dog sage We've just kind of always known each other and we did become friends and why because we like to each other so much

Do you or Sue anything to add? I don't know. I don't know what the fuck you should all. As I remember it from early on in my time here, you guys talked about how you said or knew Chant, even when he was a really small old kid at the back of the Vermilion Minotaur. Yeah, O'Talk Barleyfoot, I think, was maybe the catalyst for a first meeting, but I've, Unki UC's always been around in my life ever since I could remember. That's true, because he was a beautiful angelic being

in the form of a wizard human shaped here on this planet where he fought for the people who couldn't fight for themselves. He that brave warrior who gave up everything, who sacrificed his own life to fight for goodness and right in everything that is wonderful in this world. I, in actual summer, big, domedient who had to learn magic and sticks his figure up his own. There was that one day, the two of you were still here, I said, I was raining gently. It's just raining and dribbling down each of your faces. When you store kind shit up in umbrella, and front said, no, I like the rain, washes away my sins. Oh, yeah

You know what I do remember that that might have been the first time we met that that was I forgot how dramatic it was That was sweet. Yeah, I was there really I don't know feels like I was Oh, you know, I have an email as well Let's see here as always you can email me at Magic Tavern at Puppy's That Supplies, or if you're a supporter of the Patreon, we get messages from Magic Tavern patrons as well. Here's a question. Hello Tavern crew.

Got a little behind with the episodes due to the holidays. But I just heard you might read emails again. So here I am. I was wondering if anyone at the table has been to visit the new village of Hogs Facer yet. I'd love to hear how everyone like Mayor Banana and Bungery Chubbins is doing from your ever-fateful listener, Mason K.

Wait a minute, Arty, what the fuck? Did you catch what I caught? What? That people who haven't caught up can just email in for fucking attention grabs? Wait a minute, already, what the fuck? Did you catch what I caught? What? That people who haven't caught up can just email in for fucking attention grabs? Wait a second, yeah. We should have some kind of test to make sure

that they're caught up before we read their emails. Okay, from now on, if you email chunthwith6tzadema.com or Magic Tavern at PuppySat Supplies, in the subject line, put clonky and we'll know that you're caught up. But they may not have finished this episode. So to make sure they finish this episode, it should say, d'lonky. Must it?

Arning, I'm begging you, must it? Well, I think we should actually set up a system where if they email this week, it says d'lonky. But if they email next week, it should say, Elonkey. Hmm, yeah, I see where this is going. I can't wait to get to Spolunky. Oh, but if you are one of the supporters of our Patreon,

you can ask us a question. I don't fucking care if you've listened to a single episode. Oh, that's wonderful. Yes, everyone's welcome to listen there. And of course, you can email us at all's welcome to listen there and of course you can Email us at all the places that we've said and you can also tweet at

You should or at you should or the blue even though he's dead. I'm sure he's still checking from the realms of Ephesias Dorsu before you die and probably a day or two. How can listeners contact you? Oh, they can't My big fat human eyes are just too dense to take in new information. So Ernie, didn't you say that was one of your favorite earth movies, my big fat human eyes? Mm-hmm. Yeah.

You know, they eventually made a TV show version of it. How is that? I don't know, not great. Yeah, I just thought of me to learn things. I'm just fumbling through life like a total dip shit. So I'm basically worthless and a big fat sack of shit. Let this take the fun out of my job. But anyway, to get back to Mason K's email,

thank you so much for your email, Mason K. First of all, it wasn't Mayor Banana. It was Mayor Manana. Thank you. Mayor Manana, I think is like a pile of goo for a long time, so there's probably not much to catch up with on Mayor Banana. Wow. But you're right.

We haven't been to the new village of Hawks' faceer yet, and it's been quite a while. Do you think should we make a point of visiting? Sometimes soon? I-I think we should, uh, I-I think we might even be obliged to do so. I don't know, Arnie, anything to get away from Clonky. Well, Clonky's gone. I'm sorry. Anything- Anything to get away- hold on. Let me take a shot of Bear Piss. Anything to get away- I can't say it. Arnie, can you say it?

Anything to go away from doing? The long key? It's on. Here's the thing. Let's go now. Let's go now so that next week we're in Hogs face, and we don't have to be here. We can totally skip the week where it's Elonkey.

And then maybe we'll be back in time for Flong Key, which would be pretty fun. Look out the window. Which one? Because I saw something fucking crazy out this window. To Lonkey is just staring at us from outside. It might be because I put on the clunky suit. Whoa! Clunky!

Clunky! Clunky! Clunky! Clunky! Clunky! Clunky! Clunky! What are all those little names that are scrolling upward past her face? Quonky. Quonky. Quonky. Quonky. Quonky. Quonky. Quonky. Quonky.

Quonky. Quonky. Quonky. Quonky. Quonky. Quonky. Quonky. Quonky.

Quonky. Quonky. Quonky. Quonky. Quonky. Quonky. Quonky. Quonky.

Quonky. Quonky. Quonky. Quonky mean, sure, I'll be around. I mean, like, let me just say I can't promise to make all those things happen, but like, I'll be around. That's fair. I mean, we barely oversee it or pay attention ourselves. It'll be fine. It'll be fine. I left the door open a couple of times when I went down there,

but then I shut it. I remember later. I went bare pissing. Guys, we're gonna go on a trip it's gonna be a travel episode it's gonna be like a time family ties went to London. What? What? How it'll be great it'll be. There's a family that's tied together. Oh I remember this chunt. He's gonna talk about another one of his favorite justine Bateman projects. Oh yeah you had a real boner for Justine Bateman for what I remember.

No that's not what I said. I said I had a real skippy for Justine Bateman. To the PR and legal defense teams of Justine Bateman, we know what we know what we're working on it. Dorisu the Sorcerer was played by Yuzuru the Blue who was played by Matt Young. Three different layers of meh, Chant the Talking Badger was played by Adolfi. Klonki will never be spoken of again. To spare us any further embarrassment. Flower the talking flower was played by special guest Brooke Bright. Brooke is hard at work directing the reality TV themed game Rumorang for the Jackbox Partypack 9.

Out this fall, want a peek behind the scenes of the development of Rumorang? Check out Jackbox's Inside the Box live stream, with Brooke and also someone named Timothy Sniffen. Great, they have a Dickensian evil sidekick. The next one being on Thursday, May 26th, that 430 Central on Twitch.tv slash Jackbox Games. Hello from the Magic Tavern is an independent production with no Patreon supporters. Wait, I'm being handed something. Oh, we got some! It feels good to be wrong sometimes.

We apparently have Patreon supporters with names like Gips and Morty the Puffer Doodle, which if I'm not mistaken is the Mirror, Universe, Banjo and Kazooie. Also, James B, Ab Long Prong, that sounds dirty even if I'm not sure why. Cory Long, Victoria Fong, Jeff Mosk, Nick Adkins, love your diet, Nick.

Tyson Lillie Allen with the comment, no not the British singer, which makes me think, yes, the British singer. Molly Marx, secret identity name if I ever heard one. Jen Jones, Ditto, Carla and her son, Steven, Sean Wayland and Hover Ferret, because Ferret's on the ground wasn't bad enough. Patreon supporters get two totally new bonus episodes each month.

Yes, gybs and morty the puffer doodle even you. Plus in addition to that, we just dropped all of season two of Masters of Mayhem into the Patreon feed. We're crazy that way. That means all the pre-Patreon spin-offs are now on the Patreon feed. Plus, you get ad-free episodes, blah, blah, blah, where's my call to action? Here it is! To learn more about supporting the show and slurping up all that content, go to patreon.com-slash-magic-tavrn. Hello from the Magic Tavrn is produced by Arne Neekam, Matt Young and Adolf Refire.

Post-production coordination by Garrett Schultz. This episode edited by Stefan Dranger. Hello from the Magic Tavern logo by Allard LeBan. Magic Tavern theme by Andy Poland. you