Hello From The Magic Tavern - Season 4, Ep 36 - Cowboy World: Tom the Cowboy

Episode Date: July 25, 2022

Tombleweed Cattleruss, the Cowboy World version of Tomblaine Belaroth, stops by to recount his strange path to being co-sheriff.CreditsArnie: Arnie NiekampChamp the Horse: Adal RifaiUlysses the Cowboy: Matt YoungTombleweed Cattleruss: Steve Waltien Mysterious Man: Tim SniffenProducers: Arnie Niekamp, Matt Young, and Adal RifaiPost-Production Coordination: Garrett SchultzEditor: Anna HavermannMagic Tavern Logo: Allard LabanTheme Music: Andy PolandAdditional Music: Aric JacoverYou can support the show directly and receive bonus episodes and rewards by joining our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/magictavern for only $5 per month. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram, and now Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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People of the following podcast is not real. Remember how last week we were saying we'd rather listen to anything instead of another episode recorded in Cowboy World, and then we had to listen to Chant trying to host a regular episode by himself? I don't know about you, but that felt like a baseball bat with careful what you wish for, but dazzled lengthwise across it right upside the head. So, like Orlando Bloom crawling back to the Pirates franchise after skipping Deadman till no tails, let's just toss our pride in the recycling bin and get this over with.

Sit back and enjoy the show. I'm not a bad guy. Hey there, Greenhorn. Yeah, you list these, yes? I think it's time you did the thing you do. You know, our version of Arnie ain't back yet, so you're gonna have to be that slack, as they say. Well, I filled in doing the podcast last week and look, don't get me wrong. I love doing the podcast, but he's not back, he's still not back after last week.

Ain't seen, I had no hair of him, so I expect you'll do just as well. You seem to be a very similar sort of fella and despite the very strangeness of your different color eyes, I suppose I will allow you to continue to be the temporary host of this show. And I hope that we can bury the revolvers that were... I feel so silly about trying to lobotomize you last week. It just, yeah.

It feels so silly. And you were very much like, ah, don't you lobotomize me, you know. I didn't that's exact I said it a little more musically than that. Yeah, yeah But I didn't want to try and make you simple minded so I do apologize for that It just got swept up in the moment and of course the heat is it plays so I hope we're past that and I hope you Would you say the heat of the moment? Yeah, and the heat of the moments the heat was on and You know I was, I was a little

about a mice craze, so I apologize for that. And the rhythm was gonna get you, like no, the rhythm got me. Now look, you may try to blind me with science, but I want you to host this podcast and I think Lil' Botamy still on the table for me. Okay, well I want you to want me, so you can put your gun down. You do not have to threaten me to do this podcast. Ah, ah, ah, alright. Here we go. Hello from the Dusty Saloon.

A weekly podcast from the Wild West world of high-foon. Unfortunately, your regular host Arnie Neekamp is not here this week, so I will be sitting in Arnie Neekamp. Seven and a half years ago, Arne Neacamp fell through a dimensional portal behind a golden corral in Cicero, Illinois into the old Western cowboy world of high fune. Luckily, he's still getting a Wi-Fi signal from the golden corral through the dimensional rift.

And he uses rudimentary understanding of science to build this hand crank that supplies electricity to his laptop. So he is able to record this hand crank that supplies electricity to his laptop. So he is able to record this podcast in the saloon. Hand crank? I'm telling you. I mean, I guess you can use that nickname for him, but not for me. Is that clear?

Yeah, okay, I guess that's clear. I'm just a strict no nickname policy. I don't know why. Okay, let me take out my little notebook. Do you understand that, champ champ? I think so, I think so, sorry, I have to take notes here. To take it. Okay, it's so hard for you to write too with those hooves.

Oh, I just wrote down take notes. What were we saying? No, okay. I was saying he recorded this podcast in the saloon, the Burgundy Bronco in the town of Hogswood, in the land of High Foon. And I am joined as always, or as the other Arnie always is, the syntax of which is hard to keep my hands around. By his co-hosts, Ulysses De Lamore.

Yeah, I'm Ulysses Deelamore. While it is gunsling an outlaw you ever met, one in 12 counties. Yet known for my bravery and noble heart by those that ain't trying what to manipulate me. The indigenous folk from which we did steal this land, know me as dances with light and shadows. The Spanish know me as Mastro del Chaos. And I'm known by those doggermakerartons in the Nor East as Magic Jackstar. How are you doing today, Arnie?

Other Arnie, I should say? I'm doing pretty good. I was just resting and relaxing, so you know, I'm not necessarily in like show mode, you know what I mean? Because I wasn't like spending the day preparing to like host the podcast. So if I'm a little bit rusty, that's it. But maybe just my natural talent and ability will shine through. You know, I've taken a shine to you even though I'm still considering lobotomizing you,

but your pal over there still rubbing me the wrong way. Oh, you mean you said, or the wizard, who is the magic world version of you? It's definitely not the version of me. I don't know what gives you that idea because we couldn't be more different. I'd say oil and waters, what's we are? Yeah, I mean, look, there are subtle differences like he's covered in bird shit, you're covered in some kind of desert shit. I'm it's a cactus shit cactus shit. That's right. Huh head to toe and cactus shit. Huh? It's the best way to stay cool in these out here on the plains. Hmm. Okay. I think I'll be hot. No, that's where they tell us a trick yet. I am also joined.

Actually, did I wizard hat into a poncho? Okay, thanks, Yusidor. Yusid, how you doing Yusidor? Do you want in on this? I want to go home. Oh, okay, we'll go home very soon, I promise. Yeah, it drives me crazy. I hate that.

Just because you drape a hat around your shoulders doesn't make it a poncho. I know, he doesn't make any damn sense. I am also joined by Arne E. Kim's Always co-host champ the talking horse. Nay y'all. Nay y'all to you as well. Oh, thank you so much. Arne I have to say I'm growing fonder and fonder of you I feel like you just have just a little like homespun charm You're just kind of like kind of fun, kind of fearless.

I just really like your style. Thank you. Yeah, I appreciate that. I think you're adorable. You're like one of my best buds, but bigger. Oh, you're like a bigger version of one of my best buds. Oh, it's a bit of a backhand compliment. Do you want to put some sugar in your hand, late flat?

Mm, okay. Here you go. I just happen to have a bunch of sugar in my pocket, so ooh, think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think you think I'd say one of the hallmarks of this show is the sexual tension between yourself and champ. What? Really? Yeah, it's the licking of the hand and all eating sugar. Everyone can read between those lines. That does sound like a hallmark. Will we fall in love?

What we coming this Christmas, Arnean champ? Coming this Christmas. So you have plans for the holidays? Oh yeah. Oh yeah, there was an Arca shows where a champ opened up a little bakery and you decided to leave your job as a high-powered investment banker and moved to a smaller town. That was a very important arc of this particular podcast.

Yeah, and we're both so attractive, but will we figure it out? We will. Okay, that's good to know. Wow, it seems like so much has happened in the seven and a half years in this world. I mean, I guess a lot of stuff has happened on my podcast. I mean, my podcast is really interesting and dynamic too. Oh, like what kind of stuff? Like what adventures?

Or like what's going on? Well, we were on a boat for a while. Okay. I don't know if that's plot, but okay. Oh, I got stabbed. Okay. Did you ever shoot the second moon out of the sky? No, wait, that happened.

Yeah, one of the greatest things I ever accomplished, I ever done did. Oh, was I shot the second moon right out of the sky. There's a second moon that showed up. We had definitely an evil moon, so I just used my trusty six shooters and shot them out of the sky. Oh wait, we did do something like that.

I'm not, it sounds like I'm lying. It's like just saying that we did the same thing you did, but I'm just remembering, we did do something like that. Oh yeah, and my big accomplishment was I want to cook out against my stepfather, Papi Schmir. It was a whole arc, it was called The Food, The Dad, and the Ugly. Uh-huh, oh.

You should check it out sometime, it's really the food that dad and the ugly. Uh-huh. Oh. You should check it out sometime, it's really popular. Where would I find that? Is it behind a paywall or anything? I think it's on J-tunes. J-tunes. Let's see, is that right? J-tunes?

Or Dutify? Dutify or J-tunes is what Arnie says. It's so hard for me to know if you're just misremembering something or if it's a J-tune. Oh, I lost that competition. I tried to win misremember, but I think Claire won miss Ironically you're not sure remember who won. Yeah, that is interesting

Let me take a book take a lot a lot of interesting things have done happen here in high-fune and I'd say no one No one's more interesting than today's guest if you'd like me to introduce him for your earning. Oh, yeah, please. I mean, because again, normally I would introduce the guest, but I am but a guest to myself. Who's the guest? Is it like a pizza skull or something? What?

Is it like a pizza skull? A pizza skull? I don't know. Those two words don't really go together. Pizza skull, I'm trying to imagine that my Mind's eye and it's Spiraling me into madness. Oh, no, no, no, no today. Today. We got none other than that Recently appointed fighter for good fighter for the righteous side of the law

one and only Co sheriff of the Southwest. Oh the sheriff are am I gonna get a meet Cowboy World's version of GNSA? GNSA. Is that what Arnie said, deep dish pizza is in Chicago? GNSA? I believe he did. I believe he mentioned that when GNSA was here

to tell us about how she was running all those orphanages back in the East and taking care of a number of different charities and good institutions back there. But no, I'm referring to, of course, the co-share from the Southwest, none other than Tom the Sheriff. Oh. Hey, run, be careful.

There's wolf, oh, oh, oh, yeah, that's full of us. I'm out there, I'm open here. Tom. Yeah, got me again, oh. I want to be careful. There's wolf. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Yeah, that's a foolous. I'm out of the wolf in here. Oh, yeah, got me again, Tom. Now, that's just, it was a series of kiosks. What? Oh my God, I didn't, I wasn't gonna say because I didn't want to see nervous on the podcast. I was a little scared that there was a series of kiosks

here in the tavern. Yeah, well, whenever you see about 26 coyotes walking together and you realize might be series of coyotes, you might be looking at your old friend, Tombeweed Catalyst. I'm so. Co-sharif of the southeast, southwest. Co-sharif of the southwest. Okay, it seems like you were unsure of where you're co-sharif for a moment there. Yeah, well, sometimes I get spun around. Now what I'm unsure of right now when I look at two of my

real good friends at a third fella, you are Arnie in a way, but also you ain't. Yeah, in a way, and I ain't. Yeah, I am Arnie, but you isn't you ain't. Yeah, as I as or as I ain't your Arnie, but you is anyway. Yeah, is I, is I ain't your Arnie. Here's the question. I know I'm gonna blow your crazy small West mind. There are other worlds than these. I'm a different Arnie from a different world. Well, no, wait a minute. I'm a gunslinger.

So it's hard for me to get my mind around the idea that there are other worlds than these. Because I'm looking at my friends here. I'm drawing the three. You're a cotette, so to speak. My what now? You're a cotette, if I might. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm trying to use the gun slinger terminology correctly. No, no, no, that makes sense. The friends, the birds have chosen for me. Cool. And the little crabs that are always with you, right? Yeah, yeah, that makes sense. The friends, the birds have chosen for me. Caw! So yeah, crabs that are always with you, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, we got it at least. I dropped this story for a while.

Sure, sure, sure. Well, you know, it could get convoluted, but I just came through the wastelands to see my three friends, but I sort of feel like two of them is is right and one of them is wrong Huh, and you so you're from a different world. Yeah, and I'm so sorry just so rewind a little bit You also for a moment you are pretending to be a collar of wolves. Oh, sure. Yeah. Yeah, oh, yeah A series of coyotes. Oh, sorry. I get some of those words mixed up. Yeah, no

I've also pretended to be a collar of wolves. I mean, I used to, well, as you know, or do you, work with a troop of players called chicken penis. And we go from town to town, as you know, or do you? Arnie, you gotta check out the chicken penis. Any saloon worth a damn will have the chicken penis performed there. It is just a hoot and a holler. It's funny name, because chicken ain't got a penis. Hmm, I don't know.

Well, if it do, you know, it's probably just underneath all them feathers. Glouacca? Glouacca? Did we ever figure that out? What's called the whole thing out? Let's call the whole thing off my friends. That's an off sentence.

Yeah. So, do you know me or don't you know me? Well, from my world, we're actually not my friends. That's an awesome thing. Yeah. So, do you know me or don't you know me? Well, from my world, we're actually not my world. I spent some time in a magical world where that old fucking wizard looking guy over there is from. Oh yeah, the wizard and glass over there. I have a poncho. Hey, get out of that glass for a minute, we can't hear you.

I have a poncho. There you go. Oh, thank you. Thank you, Sodor. Anyway, in that world, I met someone that was almost exactly like you. His name was Tom Blaine Bellaroth. Tom Blaine Bellaroth? Now what now? My name is Tom Blaine Bellaroth. Now what now?

My name is Tom Blaine Bellaroth. Tom Blaine Bellaroth. Now what now? My name is Tom Blaine Bellaroth. Tom Blaine Bellaroth. My name is Tom Blaine Bellaroth. Tom Blaine Bellaroth. My name is Tom Blaine Bellaroth. Tom Blaine Bellaroth. My name is Tom Blaine Bellaroth. Tom Blaine Bellaroth. Tom Blaine Bellaroth. Yes, which is a far less early man. Arnie, yeah, do not laugh at Tomberweed.

The one thing he hates, well two things, don't laugh at Tomberweed, that's his God-given name, and two, don't call him yellow. Oh, whatever you don't call him chicken penis. Well, that what? I guess there's three things. Uh, no, he's from a different world. Yeah, I'll talk him that chicken penis. Yeah, you know who we are.

Oh, could we see, I don't want to put you on the spot. Could we see just a little snippet, a little taste, just a morsel, even a monologue or an aside, from the latest chicken penis play that you're putting on in the local saloon I assume? Well, now it's hard for me to have a lot of time for chicken penis these days. Mm-hmm.

Nice of you, Older. What? What? That's a good older. Well, sure, but also I've become the co-share of Southwest Goch. You know, and so I've got a lot of responsibilities. I don't get to see chicken penis as much as I'd like.

Sure. Can I ask Tomboweed? Can I call you Tomboweed? Sure. Since this is my first time meeting, I feel like in some ways I can probably guess at the arc of your life, but do you mind giving me like a somewhat succinct recap

of what's been going on with you for the last seven and a half years or so? Oh yeah, well you know it's typical story. I was born in Southwestville, Gutsch. That's the capital of the Southwest. Okay. And my dad, big owl cattle rust, maybe you're resting peace.

Oh, so I'm sorry to hear that. You know, he's the sheriff of the southeast. Great sheriff. Oh yeah, I mean, you know, but also kind of overbearing at times, right? He's married to my mom, Busti Catalrus. And what was your mother's name again? Busti, Busti Catalrus.

Busti Catalrus. You ain't never heard of Busti Catalrus. I haven't. She was a, now she's a very, very attractive lady. Well, now that's my mother, you're talking about Elyse? But sweetest pie. Yeah. Just one of the best ladies You're ever gonna meet your life very high class very high class. It has a nice fine boostie a boostie a plus I'd say

Okay, that's my mom's I'm all about their champ. That's my mark. Okay easy champ So of course, you know how things work. It's a it's a patriarchal hereditary sheriff, you know, how things work. It's a patriarchal hereditary sheriff, you know? Huh, so wait, the sheriff is a family role? Yeah, how do you become sheriff in your world? Hmm, I'd be lying if I understood it completely. I think it's a... Other Ornie said it was like the daily family in Chicago? Yeah, the daily family, like every day,

who's your family? If your dad was Sheriff, then you become Sheriff. And so, you know, for me, at least in my younger years, it felt like that was a little bit burden for me. Plus, also, I fell in love with a whiskey made named Ramblin. And, Oh, Ramblin. Ramblin, a whiskey made in? What's the, made name Ramble and uh...

uh... reamble and uh... whiskey maiden what's the way that i what's a whiskey maiden well you know she met them uh... whiskey horses get the whiskey out of their uh... uh... okay and uh... she was born a ramblin woman

oh yeah she was more well that's right she was born ramblin ramblin ramblin and uh... so uh... it's not really a common practice for the son of a sheriff to marry a whiskey maid. Sure, no, that doesn't even sound right. If he went just saying it sounds weird. Now you wouldn't remember this, but Arnie was very confused when he first found out that you could extract whiskey from a horse. We tried to give him some Colt 45 and he's like,

that's a beer on my world, a malted liquor drink, not a whiskey. That's a way you ain't never had whiskey. Arning, I have whiskey. Do you wanna milk me? G, fucker? You little fucker, you wanna milk me? I don't know what you're talking about.

What did I tell you about that? He missed sexual tension. Waved a lot of me. You're telling me. You're telling me. You're telling me you ain't never had whiskey there now, Arnie? I mean, I've had whiskey on... Well, where do you think it comes from? You silly sport?

I mean, I don't know. Barrels? I guess. Barrels? Yeah, how do you think it gets in there? Got a milk of whiskey horse. Oh. Now, what you want to milk is a high proof whiskey horse.

Oh yes, if you go two towns over, go to Mark Makers, knock on his door three times and he'll give you some of the best whiskey you'll ever have. That sounds like some papi nonsense. Yeah, they keep those horses up high on the top shelf. You don't want the horses around the well. The horses head is dipped in wax, just so they don't kind of eat something that they're not supposed to eat because that will kind of ruin the flavor of the whiskey. That's right. Yeah. Well anyway, Ramblin knew all about that stuff. I fell in love with her. My father Big Al says,

you can't marry a whiskey mate. So I run off. I say, you know what? I'm not interested in becoming sheriff at your town or any of the Southwest. So you run off in Mary, Ramblin? No, I left the, no, no, no, no. You don't understand. I wanted to marry Ramblin, so what I did was ran away from where she was. Oh, huh. Okay.

And a lot of doctors, correct me if I'm wrong, Tom Bowie, a lot of doctors said, Ramblin may not be right for you. Is that right? Yeah, that's right. No, you got to have a few times. Sartifex may include dizziness, upset stomach, fatigue.

So you should probably check with your apothecary to see if Ramblin is right for you. Right, and why not if you ramblin for more than four hours? That's not a good sign, you know? Can I ask, I don't know if this is forward. I know there's very rudimentary photography in this world. Do you have a Arnie, please? Just call it a mentoring.

You're being rude. Do you have a picture of her? I just, whenever I see a reambling picture, I get very nostalgic. Oh, I think we have a tin plate over here somewhere. There's maybe one of the busses in there too. Okay, now it's my mommy talking about right there. He's a desert.

Oh, yes, here's a tin type behind the bar. Here you go. This photograph took the subject to pose for three days to come to fruition. Yeah, it's a long time to sit for those and you can't eat because you have to stay still. I want to pose for the garter type, maybe lose 20 pounds.

Yeah, it's a great way to lose some extra pounds because you can't move it all, otherwise ruins the whole thing. You look like a ghost. Yeah, they say that camera helps you lose 20 pounds. Yeah, that's why they say that. So anyway, I'm so sorry, Tom, but wait. So you ran away because you got married.

That's right. And so I decided to renounce my name and to join Chicken Penis. So I was going from town to town doing various shows with Chicken Penis. That was mostly going great for me. Didn't you win an award for that one where the fly was in the soup? Oh yeah. Funny scene where the fly was in the soup. Yeah, I want to swish her. Yeah, I want to swish her.

And that's named after the way sort of a horse's will swish away a fly. That's right. But it's how you swish away your real personality. And you take on the personality of the person that you're trying to become there. Oh, and winning a swisher must be so sweet. Just, I think you're so good. Oh, swisher, sweet, swisher, sweet. Yeah, yeah.

It's mostly won by people who are like 18 and younger, but so it's kind of rare to see someone older, someone your age, Tomboead, win swisher, and feel like. Well, it's sort of a reward, this really appealing, when you first are able to win awards. Yeah. You think like I'm gonna go for this is gonna be really cool. It looks cool. Yeah, it looks cool.

Do people ever win that award and then hollow it out and put other types of awards inside of it? Well, to be blunt, I think that does happen. Yeah. I think that does happen if I'm being blunt, if I'm being blunt with y'all. So now I think they saw a posting of an upcoming chicken penis play. Is that the group that has Michael Gulch and Winky Siltz in it?

Yeah, now those are my friends. You know, they're more full-time in it right now because as I say, I'm sharing the job of Sheriff because what happened was for a while I was with chicken penis then I was hiding out as a series of coyotes and that was the series that you saw you know there when I was coming in because my sister Throdee Orally wanted to have McEill. She was trying to poison me. I'm so sorry, uh, Tombo, Tomboweed. There's just something about, maybe it's your accent. Every time I hear a name, I just need to hear it again. What was your sister's name?

My sister, Throdeorily, Catalrus. Throdeorily. Oh, we better take a break. Let's take a break, Arnie. Just write it down and read it to yourself, and we'll be right back with more probably. I don't know, I spell Throty Orally. This is like a wiki concern. I'm so sorry, and I know during the break I asked you to repeat this like eight or nine times, but just I swear this is the last time. What was your sister's name?

Tarnation, you're worse than the real Arnie. Throdee Orelay cattle Russ. And she was jealous because she's born second. You know, we were twins, but I was born nine years before her. And so what happened was she wanted to be sheriff. Now, I didn't want to be sheriff, but she thought she couldn't be Sheriff till she had me killed.

But she's right. Now, my argument was always that even though you're twins, you are the eldest by nine years. Clearly. Well, so that you should have inherited that title. Yeah, that's what the law said, you know? And of course, you got a lot of different people coming in saying, oh, we need to examine Busti, you know,

to make sure who came first. And I'm saying, that's my mom you're talking about. Oh, wow, and I'm sure Bigel will have beef with that. Oh, Bigel, look, I could give you a list of Bigel's beef. And it is spicy. It's spicy. Was Busti in labor that whole time? Well, you know, I think so.

I think technically. But then again, she was also real busy. They say she had a lot of lovers during that period as well. Wrote her memoirs. Now, can I ask this nine-year difference, would you say that you're old for your age, or your sister's young for her age? Well, now I would say we're twins.

So we got the same birthday. It's just nine years apart. Mm-hmm. Oh, all right, all right. Exactly. Nine years? Well, yeah, we're twins. Okay.

Okay. You know, do you understand how twins work? You're saying birthday. Yeah, I need to understand how twins work. I thought I did. Yeah, it's just like you have the same birthday. Your brother and sister, or you, or siblings in some way, but you come from the same pregnancy, right?

So you got the same birthday, even if it happens on different year, because there's a lot of, there's nine years to push it. I reckon that means that your twins with our Arnie, That's hard to say, our Arnie. Our Arnie. Our Arnie. You know, this is a thing that I have learned from a lifetime of being named Arnie. The name Arnie doesn't pair well with most words.

Yeah, now have you ever thought about changing it to something like handsome Frank? Ooh, wow, that just rolls off the done handsome Frank. Handsome Frank. Yeah, our handsome Frank. I'll tell you, our handsome Frank's different from your handsome Frank. Yeah, our handsome Frank. I'll tell you our handsome Frank's different from your handsome Frank. Yeah, you tried apps, you know?

That works nice, I like that a lot. Yeah, our handsome Frank, it's ironic because he has scars running all around his face. Oh, well, I was just gonna say, some I recently, back in my world, a pirate gave me the nickname Beautiful Arnold, which is not ironic. That's great.

Good for you. Good for you. Do you want to give me some more sugar? Oh, yeah. Thank you. Thank you, champ. Oh my God. Get a stall.

Nah. Now, Tom Beweed, you got your catch and Arnie up here, but we don't want you to reiterate everything that the podcast listeners have been listening to for seven years but he should at least very well know that you are also an accomplished author. Yeah that's right that's right I have written a book it's called do you think you could change your life? A kaiyo chukan but now here's a tricky part. How do you think I spell kaiyo chute can't. But now here's a tricky part. Uh-huh. How do you think I spell kaiyo?

Couldn't begin to guess. I spell it. BET. Huh. So sort of like a pun there. Mm-hmm. Is that a common spelling of kaiyo? No, that's what's kind of funny about the book.

A lot of people don't realize that I'm pronouncing it coyotes, but I got to do that for the... Because the book sort of goes into my journey of becoming a series of coyotes and disappearing into my role, becoming an actor and all. And then shortly after having written the book, I did go to the cave of the coyotes. And with my sister, we did the howl and coyote dance. We became co-sharif's.

And let me tell you, ever since that day, I mean, it's not been very fun. Oh, no. Because we're very different people, you know. We have different visions of sheriff in. So. Well, the Southwest seems to be relatively peaceful at the moment. The citizens seem happy.

A lot of people really admire that you put the sheriff in sheriff. Yeah, that's true, you know. But if I could turn back time, I'll tell you, I'm not sure I would do things exactly the way I did it, you know. If you could find a way. Well, yeah, I'm saying if I could do things exactly the way I did it, you know, if you could find a way Well, yeah, I'm saying if I could find a way, you know, but I believe in Sharon and I think that you know some days I will I'll be fighting with rodeo early and I'll look at her and I'll say

You know snap out of it snap out of it, you know? But I'll also say things like, look, I'd like to go start a posse or something, you know, whatever I wanna do on that day. And I'm like, but I got you, babe. You're dealing with coyotes, tramps and thieves. Yeah, those are the big four. You know, Tom Beweed here was here that day

that I shot the moon out of the sky. And he was like, well, that moon's been struck. Yeah, that's right. I was so happy I didn't dank shoot shoot so. You and your wet ass posse. Or a wop, some sort. Yep, that's one. For sure. That's definitely one of the big ones.

So it's been challenging being co-share of with. Oh yeah, yeah. Is it because, and I'm just totally speculating on what I know of the food versions, is it because your sister's evil and you are conflicted about having the job at all? Well, no, that's right. So no, wait a minute, you know a version of Thrody?

Yes. Her name from, and Foon is Treykia Aralia Belaroth. Know what the hell does that mean? Sounds like a bunch of nonsense. Sounds like a bunch of crazy words. I don't think that's probably the same person, really at all. But yeah, no, it's difficult, you know,

to share that kind of thing. So I thought what I'd do is come down, see y'all, you know, have kind of a boy's weekend and Enter boy's weekend boy's weekend boys. Thank what? What's the weekend boy? Oh, oh like a whole weekend? Well, what are you gonna do at night? You sleep at night. You sleep at night look up at the stars I mean how old are you guys though? You suck some whiskey out of a horse's teeth. You can dedicate a whole weekend to the boys? Like a night sure.

If you're gonna, hey, look, if you're gonna go anywhere, it's gonna take you a couple weeks to get there. You might as well stay for the weekend. Plus, I think it would give me sort of a leg up if you will the upper hand on throaty orally, if I were to win myself a shooting contest. Oh, yeah. And she'd have to sing, let's hear it for the boys.

And can I say, Tom Boyd, having read one of your early books, I think it was called Yippee Kiyote A, I remember that you said it was really tough keeping kosher off because you have to kind of buy kosher off salts. If as a kosher off, if you're eating food that isn't kosher off, you have to kind of buy a kosher of salt. If there's, you know, if as a kosher of, if you're eating food that isn't kosher of, you have to like bury your tin plates in the desert and come in to retrieve them two or three years later

with a map. So it sounds like keeping kosher of is pretty hard. Yeah, there's a lot of rules when it comes to if you're gonna be strictly kosher. And, you know, it's worth it because it's a practice that gives meaning to your life, but I'll tell you, it can be difficult. And that's why I thought, give yourself a couple of weeks, you know, head on down, see the boys.

And so I said to Craftingen, I said, hitch up the horses. To horses? Oh, just my driver here. You know Cretan, right? Oh, you're the other Ernie. Damn. He steers the stage coach.

Hey, there now. Listen, somebody saying my name? Oh, it's Cretan. OK, Cretan, you take it easy, man. I don't need to. Well, what I heard was somebody talking my name over there. So what I was wondering is, do you need me to hitch up the horses and get going? Now, Cretchnin, you take it easy, okay?

That's Cretchnin over there. Huh, Arnie, did you even say hi to Cretchnin? You're being rude. No, but I can't know what I meant. I know how these things go. There isn't really a Cretchnin. Excuse me? What do you mean there? I've been through a parallel version of this. There isn't really a crefment. Excuse me? What do you mean there? I've been through

like a parallel version of this. There isn't really a crefment. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, now, Ernie, I think you may have made a Cretan in a little angry. And like any real person, I think yeah, you might have pissed him off there a little. Fuck, Ernie, you're really stepping at this time. Oh, Cretan, I'm sorry. I'm gonna get out from behind you here. Just in case, to go also never mind why have you been behind me this whole time.

Just in case you're spilling. Excuse me, Excuse me. Did someone say, oh, Cretanon? Uh-oh. I did. Wait, you're Ocretanon? Oh my God, I can't believe this. Oh, Cretanon, you're one of my favorite writers.

It's a pleasure to see you, sir. Yeah, you're quite accomplished. Well, I'm just passing through town. You know, working on my latest book. Yeah, you're quite accomplished. Well, I'm just passing through town, you know. Working on my latest book. Mm-hmm. Oh, Crafnann writes some incredible short stories. Hey, wait a minute, is that Oak Crafnann over there?

OK, take it easy, Crafnann. You keep your eye on the horses. I'm just meeting the famous author, Oak Crafnann. Oak Crafnann, I'm so so sorry I'm not familiar with you. Do you mind giving us a little reading of some of your writing? Well, my story is a well-known. Each one has an ironical twist. So one will be about two horses round about the holiday time. And one of the horses says, what I most want is a new tail. And the other horse says, what I want is a luscious new mane.

You're never going to guess where this is going. I go ahead and guess what happens. One horse cuts off their main to give the other horse a tail and the other horse cuts off their tail to give the other horse a main and guess you's unhappy. Who? Bollfafel. Huh, and the readers presumably. How dare you, how dare you, sir. Arnie, that's an incredible story. I gotta say, Oak Creifnan, I'm just in awe of you

and I would love for you to come to the Southwest and do some readings. Arnie, I apologize to Oak Creifnan and let's walk back through that cave and get the hell out of here. Usador, remember on Foon, Crypheon wasn't a real person, right? I'm pretty sure he was.

I'm not even sure if O Crypheon was a real person. I think he was. Tom Lane was pretty sure. What do you mean by not a real person? How can someone not be a real person? We have a friend who looks very much like you, excuse me, you're gonna see. Sorry, take your time.

He would often disguise himself, just as you disguise yourself as a series of coyotes. But he would disguise himself as other people. Tom Lane would appear as Cretanin or O Cretanin and it would turn out it was him the whole time, even though they were in the room together at the same time. It was incredible. Now that sounds kind of like wizard magic,

which is what I think you're dressed as right now. Does that cactus shit? Well, I turned my hat into a poncho. So I put some cactus shit on here, yes. Because it's very nice. I'm gonna sit back on your head don't make it a poncho, I don't think. Listen Arnie, you said or I wanna say,

if you two would have just read Crefnan's book, read Crefnan's book. So many read my book. His self-improvement Crefnan, I told you you're not allowed to write. He has a self-improvement book.

I read or I read a draft of called Steer Clear and rule number one to avoiding a fight in a bar is never grabable by the horns. Now I think the two of you were being a little rude right now, and I would like you to apologize to Tom Bowie's friends. The two who?

To Cretan and Ocretan, and to Tom Bowie. So Arnie needs to apologize to them? Do I need to apologize? I didn't do anything. You know, I'm used to door does. What? I didn't do anything. I was just telling you about someone from Iowa. But you were making a connection. You were insinuating. I was insinuating. And you know what they say, never insinuate because then you're in sin and you ate it.

I never heard that before. It's just breaking up the rule. It's just breaking up the word. It's carved in wood above the hearth over the ice. Yeah, I see that now. Huh. It's carved breaking up the world. It's carved in wood above the hearthalery. Yeah, I see. Well, I see that now. Huh. Yeah, it's carved pretty badly. It's like you sort of try to look at it.

It's hard to read the whole thing. Well, Tom, we carved that. Oh, shit. What is wrong with you, too? I think it's an excellent coffee, personally. Now that I see it, I shall remember it for all the rest of my days. Okay, that's better.

Tom, will you do you accept their apology? Sure do, but I wonder if my friend, Crafnund, does. Mr. Crafnund. Crafnund, oh good. A sure do. Well, a sure do. Mr. Crafnund, oh, we, since I didn't say to you directly before, I do apologize.

Well, thank you, I do appreciate that. And then, uh oh. Well, this doesn't look very good. I think O'Crafton is dead. Oh, Crafton, there's been a murder. Well, let's all take some lottonum, and we will be right back with more, with, tumbling.

So lottonum is that safe, right? Oh, absolutely. Everybody drinks it. Oh, it's like more club. What should we do for this dead author? Well, Arniato, I don't know how death works in your world. But here is really. What, no one goes. No one really understands it. Okay, well what it means here is a person ain't there no more.

Oh, yep. Does that make sense? Do you? I mean, does. Let me stand behind you just in case. Does that make sense? No. And the last time a writer died during the podcast, you made a joke about dead authors podcasts

and smiled wide to yourself. Oh, that was a good one. Good work, aren't you, Cam? Forever. I gotta say, I mean, this is a tragedy, but writer die is a good name for its all. That's all she missed biography. Yeah. Writer die? That's, oh, it just kind of rides itself. Can't believe I was standing right here when O. Crafn and Dad.

Where's last words? God, I can't remember. Where's this body? Did you bury it already or? No, I just kicked it till it fell apart. I wonder if somewhere there's somebody was hoping to get O Creffin and a casket first birthday. They were hoping to get a book.

Does that work? Does that work? No, life isn't like an O an okreffinant story. It's very true. You know, things don't often work out quite as symmetrically as they do in, in, in his stories. But I tell you. Which is why he's a bad writer, right? Well now, that's awful disrespectful.

Arnie, to please. You, you kicked his body apart. What, how am I the one being disrespectful? Well, what do you do when someone dies in your world? You just let them stay on the floor? Honey, at this rate, you're not gonna make it to the annual shootout. I'll keep shooting your mouth off like this.

That's right, okay. Oh yeah, that's right. Hey, put my name in. Tomblewood, Tombleweed, hold on. Just have a second of horse's teeth. My name is Tombleweed Cadilleras. and I want my name on the big board. Well all you have to do is give a quarter to the bartender go out and yell at the moon. Alright, here you'm faster than you.

If you don't believe me, I'll shoot you. Got it. Well done. Well done. Champ, you'll see while I use how side. Uh-huh. Is he okay? Is he like, completely together in the head? Oh, absolutely. but I mean, I mean, if I'm honest, being co-share of takes a toll, I mean, can you imagine how many people he has to check up on

and how many gun fights he has to step into and talk people down, and it's just a hard life? Is it ethical for a sheriff to enter a shooting contest? I don't see any conflict of interest. Who wait? I don't see any conflict of interest. Hmm. Who are we? Shot the moon. Shot the moon, boys. If they ask who shot the moon,

you tell them, Tomboweed cattle rest. Well, I certainly will. Let them know. Now, is there any particular reason you decided to enter the shooting contest this year? Yeah, well, sure, to get that up or hand over my sister. Throw it you all early. Yeah. well sure to get the upper hand over my sister

through the Orally. Yeah. If I come back a shooting champ, you know, it might just be that I get a little bit more respect around the palace, which of course is what we call place where the sheriffs do their business, sheriff palace. That's right, the sheriff palace,

the very famous locale, it's got the little jail cell in there. A little desk for yourself to kick feet up on. Already, sometimes you should travel down to palace, Texas. Oh. It is, oh well, I would say beautiful, but it's, it's probably okay. Yeah, all right. It's Fort Worth it.

Okay, okay. For the fort, it's worth it for the fort, I'm sorry. Oh gosh, the fort, oh my goodness, down there in palace. Gotta take a look at that, Ernie. Okay. Got to. There's all kinds of rodeos and bowls and cowboy bars. I mean, it's just, if you're looking for a fight,

that is the perfect place to go. So like more cowboy stuff. More cowboy stuff. If you go in there and like, school you drink on someone or call somebody like a Mangy Curr or something like that, you know, it's very fun, very your drink on someone or call somebody like a Mangy Curr or something like that. You know, it's very fun, very fun. Can I ask this question for everybody?

And I don't know if this will really make sense. Do you guys ever get tired of cowboy stuff in this world? Like, you ever like, all the time. No, not you, you said all. Oh, what do you mean? Do I get tired of cowboy stuff? I don't really understand the question. We just call it stuff.

I mean, it's just like, it's cowboy stuff everywhere. Like, is the whole world cowboy stuff? Like does that mean? The world's like 70% cowboy stuff. Yeah, and then there's the damn Paker Tins. You're gonna be one of the fancy boy East Coasters, South Coasters, North Coasters. Anybody who lives on a coast.

It's like saying you ever get tired of wind or water, you know or or air or heart. Yeah, or all of those combined or whiskey, you know the whiskey part I understand. Okay. I don't know Do you ever get tired of Well, I don't know how to say it. What would the other army say? Do you ever get tired of Of earth stuff earth stuff, I guess? Well, I don't want to talk about earth stuff so much. I don't know what you're tired of it. So you're tired of it?

I guess so, I guess so, yeah. But it's so all encompassing. How do you even say what is earth stuff and what ain't, you know? It really will be, I guess, you know what? You're giving me a lot of perspective here because it only starts to become clear when you leave Earth. I imagine that you'd have a more of a perspective on cowboy world, on high-foon, if you went to another world.

Like, I can't like I have. Some day, I mean, it's hard for you guys to have the perspective of a well-traveled, dimensional traveler like me. So you're saying traveling will change our perspective, fuck you, and you seem like you're putting on an accent. Oh, yes. He'll be talking like you the entire time.

We're back in food. Now, but if, let me ask you this, because you asked, yes, that's a question. Let me ask you a question. And this is for everyone who's Arnie. Which could be a couple of people. If you're like, in a non-caliburate world, who, who wrestles the cat?

Oh, good question. Good question, Tom Boyles. He's a good question. Well, in my world, which I guess you call Earth, cowboys. Okay, now wait a day a minute. So you just say you're from a non cowboy world. Well, cowboys are like a small part of my world, like a very small part of my world.

A tall part. Okay, so where, what, who rustles the cattle on the rest of the world? You know what, you said or who rustles the cattle in food? Farmas, I guess? Farmas? Halflings? Um, uh, human farmers? I don't know.

I think everything is mostly cowboys. You just gotta learn how to look for it. Cowboys all the way down. That's right. I think you go into a different world and the cowboys are different from the cowboys in your world. So you think, oh my gosh, this is just a bunch of cowboys.

But what you're not seeing the cowboys for the plane, because you know that expression? No, I'm not seeing the cowboys for the plane. They mean you're so inside of it that you can't see that sort of macro of it. Like if you were to rise above it, like some kind of a bird or something and look down, what you'd realize is it's all

It's all cowboys all around you all the time But you're so inside the cowboys What no, I'm just saying you're so inside the cowboys You're up in them, you know, and so you don't see you don't realize That you're inside a cowboy. I guess I do have to face the cowboy ugly truth. Arnie, get down off the bar. What are you doing? I just want to dance.

You're, come on. I mean, what kind of music do you have in your world? Because we have like the, you're basic like cowboy bebop. We got like, you know, cowboy jazz. Oh, sure. Cowboy classical. Trench coat mouth. Uh-huh.

Very niche. What else? Heavy cowboy. The Dixie chicks. Are in cowboy. Chris Gaines. What's Chris Gaines? Well, he's a real person for a while he played a character,

but that didn't really go over. He was pretending to be a cowboy for a while. Yeah. But everyone sort of knew as him, it was kind of silly. Oh, I see, I see. Like Creffnan. Like what now? No, no, that I don't, I'm sorry, I don't want to.

I did somebody say my name, somebody say Creffnan, because I'm right over here, and I'm clearly a different person. Well, the way he said that. And I'm over here, you see. Hmm, so what's the issue, Arnie? Clearly there was time for him to move from one place to other to say those things, but that doesn't mean that he did that. It just means there's two different people

and two different spots. You can't account for the time he put Twix to it. Okay. Yeah, I mean, how do I know that you and Champ are the same person? That's a good question. Oh, and then all this sexual tension isn't just, you know, how do I know that you and Champ are the same person? That's a good question. And then all this sexual tension isn't just, you know,

you're trying to crank one off. And then I say, Hey, crank one off, you know? It's like you try to pleasure yourself. Oh yeah, no, I got it. Oh, you're just telling me in your world it has less cowboys in it? Good luck. What if there are some sort of tests for you Arnie?

Yeah, cuz maybe you're a cowboy and you just don't even know it. Yeah, maybe you're a cowboy and you don't even know it Yeah, so maybe you should ask yourself a question like Where have all the cowboys got that's that's not a bad one to start or Or should I do things the cowboy way? It's an excellent question. You could say something like, Mama, don't let your babies grow up to be cowboy's question mark. And close your eyes, close your eyes, just close your eyes.

Close your eyes, exactly. And then close your eyes. Open your eyes to the possibility of being a cowboy. But not your literal eyes. So keep your eyes open. Oh, stop doing it. Stop doing it. Close your eyes, do it. But open your eyes to the possibility. No, aren't you, not your literalize. So keep your eyes open. Oh, stop that, stop doing open your eyes open. Close your eyes, do not open your eyes.

But open your eyes to the possibility. No, aren't you close your eyes. Oh. Just imagine, just imagine, just I want you to do a little visualization. See if you're a cowboy and I'm not saying you are. All right, you're adding through the desert on your horse. Wow, okay.

This is my horse having name. Champ. Yeah, champ, whatever, but it's not sexual at this moment, okay? At this moment. You're riding through the desert and try to just clear your mind at any imagery, okay? Easy. What kind of hat, what kind of hat you got on? Do I have to be wearing a hat?

No, I'm just saying what kind of hat do you have on? No hat, Pat. What? Next question. You're not inside do you have on? Not no hat, Pat. What? Next question. You're not inside, you gotta be wearing a hat. Not inside, Arnie, I said you're riding through the desert on your horse. Arnie, the sun is going to destroy you. I'm just not much of a hat person.

I just never really have been. I can also look at this hair. I mean, would you hide this hair? Wait a minute, what, okay, what about, are your eyes still closed? Uh, which ones? You both of them. Uh, no. In the dream, in the visualization, your eyes are open, but in real life, what about are your eyes still closed? Uh, which ones? You both of them. Uh, in the dream, in the visualization your eyes are open, but in real life your eyes are close.

You gotta keep your eyes closed. Oh, okay, yeah, yeah. Okay. Now, what did you just say to me? Mmm, you said, look at this. Oh, look at this hair. That's right. What if I told you that ain't no hair?

That's a hat. Oh, huh. I already tip your hair. Tip your hair to the man. That hair that you've been so proud of, that was a hat all along. Say hats inside you, don't you see? Yeah, hats inside you.

And it's also your hair, because it grows out from you. Huh. Does that make sense, aren't you? No? You have 10 gallons of hair inside you. That can't be good. There's a scientific term for that. Okay, just keep on with the visualization. You're riding along, okay?

Winds blown through your hat, happiest can be, and some of your cattle start to get unruly. I have cattle, do I have to have cattle? So you reach for, you reach for, you gotta finish what he's saying there. What do you last so them with? I guess a row, I mean, I can't.

Okay, see how natural that was? Oh, see how natural, like I just asked you, and I didn't implant any cowboy idea in that I just said to you okay, so imagine your cattle are going wild. What do you last so them with immediately? Pretty quick there you were like my rope now. Why do you have a rope? It's got there because you said last because you're no Because I said last so but I said what are you gonna last so them with it couldn't you know like didn't have to be A rope I just said your cattle are going crazy.

So do you see how you are a cowboy? Yeah, here, let me try one, Tom Boyd. I already imagined it's late at night and you and some friends are sitting around the campfire and someone breaks out of pot and starts making a stew. And while you're waiting deep, you pass the time by playing music on your small handheld. Roat? Now only a cowboy would say that.

That's right. Because see, if you were like a traveling mariachi, you might say like a guitar or something. But only a cowboy would play a song on his little rope, you know? I mean, think about this. Just do, I want your clear mind. Just be fast. Okay. You don't, well, also I'm just going to say, you don't have to tell me to clear my mind.

Okay. You just, but I don't want you to overthink this. Your neck is sweaty. You wipe it with your band what? With my what? With your band what? With your band what? My band what? With your band what?

Just clear your mind. Your neck is sweaty, your reshound, and you'd notice it's already there. You wipe it with your band. Oh, I'm fucking trying to come up with anything out of your band. Oh, dance up. Run out of clothes.? Going down close.

That's awfully close. Is that what you call bandana in your world? Yeah, bandanza. It feels like a cross between a bandana and a bandanza? It's hard of, yeah. You gotta ask yourself who's the boss, you know? Are you? That's the question.

Okay, aren't I got one? Close your literal eyes. Open your eyes to the possibility. Okay, you're in a town, all right? You're in a town and they're under seized. They're under attack by a group of bad cowboys. Now, there's only a few hours until these bad cowboys come to the town.

This small town where the people need you. You are going to help the town by sowing. By sowing. Clear your mind, you're sowing, you're gonna sowing. Oh, you're gonna sowing. Clear your mind, you're sowing, you're gonna sow. You're gonna sow. Clear your mind. You're sowing, sows. All right, come on.

I tell him. Open your eyes to the positive. You're sowing. I wish I had listened to the first half of this scenario. Your oats, Arnie, your oats, your sowing, your oats. Oh, you're selling your oats. That's right, that's all you finish every sentence with oats. I'm hungry Oats is for horses

Guys guys Sorry, sorry. I'm late for the podcast. Did you start with how me? Oh my god my old friend now look at this It's really it. Yeah, Tom. But wait. How you doing man? Good to see you. I'm doing alright man. Good to see you Yeah, how's the how's the sheriff been going? Well, it's been stressful. I gotta be honest. I just told this other fellow, you know, the whole thing. He's denying his intercalboy.

You keeping co-sharef? Did you got over that? I'm keeping co-sharef, but I'll tell you man, it is hard. You know, there's a lot of rules. But spiritually rewarded, spiritually reward. And champ, I have some sugar for you. Oh my God, winner you, winner you guys gonna fuck. I'm gonna keep that.

Where have you been? Where have you got the work you've been. Look, I know I don't talk about this very much, but you know I had this project I've been working on for a couple of years and seemed like I would never finish it. Well, when the Baron came to town with his train, I figured I realized I had the last piece of what I needed, but I'm gonna need everybody's help during the shootout. I'm gonna steal that train and finally get home to Earth.

You finally finished your flux capacitor? I did. Well, you can count on my help partner. Holy shit, you're gonna get back to Earth? That's what he just said there, cowboy. I said that. This is one of of things I do, I repeat. Doesn't he, does, do you not, like repeat everything the people say?

Sometimes I guess, not that much. Do I, is that something I do? Do I repeat everything? Are you still trying to get back to earth? I am my own way, I am. Oh, it's complicated. I have a thing in my head, so I kind of am back at earth.

If you want, you can come with me back to earth. That's a different Earth. It's not my Earth. Do we know that for sure? I mean, are there two Arnie Neekamps in the same Earth? I look at how many fucking cowboys there are here. Well, having there be two Earths, is there two half-phones? I don't know. Have you guys dealt with any alternate dimensions? I mean, honestly, multiverse stuff feels a little played out right now. What?

We're just getting to it. If I'm being real with you, just, I, it feels like everybody's doing it. So it's almost sort of interesting. I feel like we were ahead of the curve. But I guess now that you mentioned it, maybe like six years ago, we did like, there's like a soap opera world we went into. Oh. There's a circus world we went into. Oh. There's a circus world we went into.

What else? What else? Of course you're seeing what else was there, yeah. There's evil high foun, don't forget that one. Oh, evil high foun. Oh, there's high foun for old people, only for old people. Yeah, to be 85 or older. There was gluten free high foun.

Huh, see, you have done a lot well I wouldn't say a lot oh there's Python I just cowboys everywhere though think about that you might be a cowboy yeah it's just different kinds of cowboys yeah sometimes there's a solid laugh to end on. Other times you just pull the plug and let the water drain out of the bath. And remember, while the multiverse might seem creatively exhausted now, we were the first to creatively exhaust it. Not that any of it is real.

Use it or the blue and Ulysses D more were played by Matt Young. Champ the talking horse was played by Adolfie. Tumbleweed Cathorus was played by special guest Steve Walteen, loving and supportive husband to television writer and performer Kate James. Nothing pleases Steve more than having the household ready for Kate's return at the end of every working day. Says Kate, not many people get Steve's little sci-fi jokes or historical witticisms, but he tries so hard and makes a mean Moscow mule. Guess I'll keep him right, ladies. Steve also writes for the LHO with Stephen Colbert.

Hello from the Magic Tavern is an independent production, made possible by Patreon supporters like Chris Costa, Britonimary, Mega. Jack Fakino, Jade Stagg, Mystical Adult Entertainer, Navy Lock, Oliver Hergoth, Zach Meier, Teigwin Feldbush, aka Radigast the Browns Go To Late Night Hookup, Rob Ware, Yasmeen software wizard in training? Lindsay Hall, Mia J, Emily V, and Gene Latig, private eye. Patreon supporters get ad-free versions of new and old episodes. All the Magic Tavern's spin-off series, like Masters of Mayhem, Earth Games, and Hey Tavern Tavern, plus two new completely exclusive bonus episodes each month.

To learn more about all the perks of supporting the podcast, visit patreon.com slash magictavron. Hello from the Magic Tavron is produced by Arnie Neckamp, Matt Young in Adolf Rathai. Post-production coordination by Garrett Schultz. This episode stitched together from seemingly unworkable scraps by Anna Hoverman. Hello from the Magic Tavron logo by Allard Leban. Magic Tavern theme by Andy Poland. Cowboy World version of the theme song by Eric Chakover. you