Hello From The Magic Tavern - Season 4, Ep 37 - Cowboy World: Flowers the Orphan

Episode Date: August 1, 2022

Flowers the Orphan, the Cowboy World version of Flower the talking flower, makes some startling discoveries.CreditsArnie: Arnie NiekampChamp the Horse: Adal RifaiUlysses the Cowboy: Matt YoungFlowers the Orphan: Brooke Breit Mysterious Man: Tim SniffenProducers: Arnie Niekamp, Matt Young, and Adal RifaiPost-Production Coordination: Garrett SchultzEditor: Chris RathjenMagic Tavern Logo: Allard LabanTheme Music: Andy PolandAdditional Music: Aric JacoverYou can support the show directly and receive bonus episodes and rewards by joining our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/magictavern for only $5 per month. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram, and now Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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We'll keep that between us. Keep those space nudes coming. The following podcast is not real. We continue to hear from alternate, alternate dimension cowboy world and let me explain. Why would I drag us back here? The thing is, if we keep investing time in these variant dimensions, at some point won't we arrive at subtle comedy world? Well researched accent world? Adol never happened world? That is the hope that drives me forward. But until that day, the sun's hanging high over a certain dusty, lawless saloon, and it's time for you to set a spell and enjoy the show. ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ Hello from the Dusty Salim. A weekly podcast from the Wild West world of High Foon. I'm your

host, Arnie Neckamp. Far too long ago, I fell through a dimensional portal behind a Golden Corral and Cicero Illinois, and the old western cowboy world of high fun. Luckily, I'm still getting a Wi-Fi signal from the golden corral through the dimensional riff, and I use my rudimentary understanding of science to build this hand crank that supplies electricity to my laptop, so I'm able to record this podcast in the saloon the burgundy bronco, in the town of hogswood, in the land of highoon. And I'm joined, as always, by my co-host, Champ the Talking Horse. Hey, it's for me! That's a good one, Champ.

How have you been, you know, I'm sorry, I was, uh, I was off for a few weeks, what do you been up to? Uh, well, I won out Treasure Hunting. I found a big old bundle of gold buried in the sand. Then I went down to Flatnext station and I lost all my money playing poker with Mr. Marston. Unfortunately, drew a dead man's hand. Are you familiar? Am I familiar with a dead man's hand or Mr. Marston? Dead man's hand. No, I was going to say I'm familiar with James, but I was telling me about the dead man's hand.

The way they play down at Flatnext station is they take a deck of cards and they insert three or four dead men's hands. And then when they shuffle, if you get tossed the Deadman's hand, you automatically lose. So I lost everything. Where's part is you see it coming? Yeah, you know immediately. I was gonna say, a hand is a lot thicker than a card.

That's what they always say. Hands are thicker than cards. And with my mom had a card. Knit above our fireplace. But Arnie, I gotta keep the dead hands here. Wait, I'm so sorry, I don't gotta go. They had a knit above your fireplace. That seems dangerous.

Yeah, our house did burden down. Yeah, cause what you do is you knit your favorite sands above the fireplace. Yeah. And you just keep adding your favorite sands You know your family models and whatnot and eventually it grows so long that you can't keep it out of the fire and then everyone burns up Yeah stuff like It's moonshine o'clock If mama ain't happy that's on her

You know, it's just just sings. Yeah, it's things like, you know, stop knitting right over the fireplace. Sounds like, and I hate to say this, sounds like your mama was troubled. Would you say? Sounds like your mama was a little troubled. It's a rude thing to say. Pick up the Dead Man's hand with my teeth

and smack you in the face. Wait, well, at least I let you keep the Dead Man's hand. It sounds like, yeah. Yeah, every bit of it coming. I have been having some fun with this. So, I kind of tucked one of my hooves underneath my foot and put the hand on there, so people thought I had a hand and stuff.

Just, you know, fun. Just having fun. Hang on a second. You tucked one of your hooves underneath your foot? Yeah, like this. So, let me grab the hand of my toes and twine. And then I kind of tucked my hoof. Yeah, so I put the thumb of my 12th and twine and then I kind of tuck my hoof. Yeah, so I put I put the sample my foot right above the hoof onto the hand.

So it looks like I have three hooves in a hand. Got it. Got it. And that's just kind of, you know, when you're bored, that's just kind of a thing. Yeah. Not a lot to do in a desert. You've heard his voice a little bit, but I'm also joined by my other co-host, Ulysses Daylamore.

Yay! Oh, I'm Ulysses Dela Moore. YEEEAAAH! I'm Ulysses Dela Moore, wildest gunsling an ally you ever met, wanted in 12 counties, yet known for my bravery and noble heart by those that ain't what tried to manipulate me. The indigenous folk from which we did steal this land know me as dances with laden shadow. The Spanish know me as mysterdale chaos, and I'm known by those dull girm, pinkertens in the northeast, as Magic Jackstar. And I am also joined by my other co-host, my newer co-host, Arnie and you camp.

Hey, hi, great to be on the podcast. I guess my catchphrases seven and a half years ago, I fell through a dimensional portal behind a Burger King in Chicago into the magical, fantastical land of food. Luckily, I was still getting a Wi-Fi signal from the Burger King through the mental rift, and I used that to upload my podcast. Champ, do we have to do this twice every episode now?

Very similar to this. And on that show, I was also joined by, ooh, Arnie, do you want to do this part? Yeah, I guess I will. I'm also joined by my other co-host, Yusidor the Blue. I'm busy trying on some breros. What's that? I'm busy trying on some breros.

They're even bigger than wizards hats. What's that? I am busy trying on some breros. They're even bigger than wizards hats. Ooh, I'd like to try on some breros. I love a good brero. Oh, here you go. Which ones are you trying on? Ooh, yeah, okay to try on some brarros. I love a good brarrow. Ooh, here you go. Which ones are you trying on?

Ooh, yeah, okay. What do you think? I think that's a good look for you, champ. Very nice. Ooh, I like the little dangly things. I can kind of ch- kind of chase after them when I'm running. Yes, I assume each one of those dangling balls has some secret magical power I have yet to unlock.

Hey, eyes up here. I'm talking about these tassels. Oh! Ha ha ha ha! How dare you! Uh, it's such a shame you don't get to meet Chunt. Why, would you get along? Oh, famously, I think.

Well, they must get along famously, because I can't imagine getting anyone I hate more than I hate you, you said, or... Oh, and I hate you too, but I... But I think that we're all having fun, and I can get along famously if we choose to do so Isn't that so weird? Isn't so weird when you hear you said our doc and then you hear you list these talk. It's so crazy when you hear them talk really close to each other What do you mean because maybe there's some inconsistency? It's in the way that that you list these talks when that happens Huh, yeah, what do you think about it? Man sitting at the table next to me?

Yeah, I think it sounds pretty good. Oh, do you? Yeah, it sounds fine, alright. Oh yeah, we're also joined by my other co-host, uh... Man that talks a lot like Champ. Huh, yeah, I guess I hear it now. Yeah, do you hear it? That's my voice. Well, we both have a similar voice. I wouldn't say it's the exact same. I'd say it's dead on. Okay, calm down. Well, that's have a similar voice. I wouldn't say it's the exact same. I'd say it's dead on. Okay calm down Well, that's a hand out of my face. His name gives it away too

That's right. My name is champ. Oh No, I'm the guy the fellow earth other tables name man who talks just like champ. Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, I guess Oh also unfortunately, we don't have a guess this episode, but I do have our other co-host, Flowers the Orphan. You have to be a boo, boo, boo, boo, boo! What? This is really just a steaming pile of shit sandwich for me to come in here and look at all you

Motherfuckers Oh, you think we're friends you think that I'm all coming in here and just be all friendly like with the likes of you You son of a bitch. Oh Orphan stinks like whiskey Look obviously flowers you're a friend. I'm sorry. I know we got a lot of history, but, uh, you know, I've been here a long time. I guess I do consider you a friend. Okay, well that's real nice. That's real nice to consider someone a friend.

When I consider you a mortal enemy, I will spend the entirety of the situation that we are together trying to destroy you. I'm going to take you ever given my, what are we doing today? Like what's the plan? Are we just gonna just sit here and drink or we're gonna go out and have a good time? Because I was promised we're gonna have a good time.

Well, the flowers, I don't think it's quite appropriate as you're just not quite of age yet to go out drinking and cavorting, but I certainly know that you know the ways of the world. I've lived a hard life and would never would never deny you any pleasure in this world. I've never drinking to drop a whiskey, but I'll bathe in it ever singing more. Yeah, it's waftting over and it is potent. Can I also say flowers? Just your current timey pajamas butt flap is open? I don't know if you want to close that or I'll put it on backwards too so it's open in the front. But the butt flap it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad Fuck do you get off? Yes, honey, where are the fuck do you get off? I got food to worlds!

Here's something about me that I'm gonna reduce myself to you and I come from two worlds. Well guess what? I come from the bottom of a goddamn ravine. Oh. I come from the bottom of a gulch. Have I ever heard of a gulch? I've heard of a gulches. I'd be lying if I said... Do you have a big gulch? Um, a big g Gulch, huh?

All right. I'm so sorry. I should have known better than to engage with you. In one of the worlds I've been to, there's a version of you that is a docking flower, which is kind of hilarious. But also hates me. So I shouldn't try to get this going here.

I just think you came in strong with your attitude. You looked at me and said, I'm from two worlds, is it like us being from around here isn't enough? No, hey, oh, can I just say this? And maybe I never have on my own podcast, which is very similar to this one. I think you would like it. I am from, I have been in two worlds, but in a way,

I've never belonged in any of them. Oh, that is so sad. They do feel better. To answer your question here in high fune, if you're old enough to think, you're old enough to drink. So like a lot of child drunkenness. We have so much child drunkenness. Yeah, yeah, so much child drunkenness.

Back to the drink, I don't drink all the touches stuff. I do touch it, never mind, let me drunk in this. Back to the dry old drink, I don't touch this stuff. I do touch it, never mind, let me take that bear. I touch it with every part of my body except for my mouth. I put tape over my mouth and I get it in a big old tub of whiskey and I'll just scrub a tube tub time. Whiskey everywhere, whiskey on my hair, whiskey in my underwear and then I get out in a drip dry. I'm still a little wet right now, my fadripp dry.

You drip right off there a little bit. See Arnie, this is a well-established new Arnie, this is a well-established fact of the podcast. A touch of whiskey is never-druck flower slips and that's why she's got such a dirty mouth. So tape over the mouth, is that the kind of air seal it or you just don't trust yourself? That's because I got warts on my mouth.

I got warts on my mouth. I got words on my mouth and words down south. We do have some theories about who the parents may be based on these on these particular facts. There are a few people in town who are currently, well as you might say, are currently, well, as you might say, carrying the lover's diseases, and that makes it possible that they could be those who did sigh or flowers. The orphan. Yeah, my theory, I have my own little theory, and already I don't want flowers to hear it.

Wait, what are you talking to me? Are you talking to me? Both of you, I guess. Is this a funny here as both talk? Like close to each other? It was funny at first of you, I guess. Is this so funny here as both talk? Like close to each other? It was funny first. Yeah, I guess so. Ooh, this one's green.

My theory is the outlaw, big parented Annie, she got with a cactus, and that thing over there flowers is a product of big parented Annie in a cactus. Jokes on you, my dad's a mushroom. What? Huh? Your dad's a mushroom?

That it's playing her head. That's all I know. I don't know who my mom is, but I know my power's a mushroom. Lived in the dark, lived in a cellar's whole life. He was a mushroom. Well, that is quite a revelation. I never thought that you would be considered a fun guy as it were, but I suppose now you may be classified

somewhat differently than what we had originally determined. Did y'all know that about warts you got covered in what tape? I did not know that I did not Breed warts breathe That's how they live that's how they thrive like the rest of us. Yes, suffocate award Suffocate award star of a cold. Oh Somebody knitted over the fireplace. Yep, suffocate award star of a cold. Oh, somebody knitted over the fireplace. Yep, suffocate a wart.

Star of a cold. Murderer herpes. Give murderer herpes. Oh, hey, and I'm so, I know this isn't on my podcast. Can I ask flowers, the orphan? What do you do around Hogswood? What do I do? I drift.

I just drift. I take, I take what I get and I give what I have. So basically, end up with nothing. End up with nothing. But I've really kind of coast on my reputation. Like people are kind of like, fine having me around and sitting like and scraps of food here and there,

just kind of like keeping up a conversation. I also create a lot of maps of the area. So like if some highlights, if there's anybody that's like looking for somewhere to go, something to do, I got some handmade maps. Each one is different because I don't know the roads. I assume where things are based on my current perspective and where I am.

What'd it be all right? Did I see one of your maps? Yeah, you go. Okay, this one's real special because I just made it. This one shows you. So mostly it's a sense memory map because everything comes from the ravine in which I was thrown into the Gulch.

Oh, it smells bad. It smells bad. You said the map has highlights on it. I think I found the gulch. Oh, bad. Smells bad. You said the map has highlights on it. I think I found a little spoon here. There's an apple hidden over here. Yep. Is that a broom? Good luck finding them often.

Is that why over the fireplace it says every map is a new adventure? Yep. Okay. That's why I said it was there. I just put that one up there because I'm trying to sell these maps. I don't really care.

I'm trying on some brarrows. Oh, if you're looking for more ideas to add to your map and the highlights within it, I had this idea for like, it's like two horses. What is named goofis and what is named gallop? And goofis is always like breaking a leg and then having to be shot. And then gallop is always like racing

and like winning big prizes. It's just kind of like a fun. A fun just like little dichotomy, you know? Do you think that would put a lot of pressure on anybody reading it to be a certain way for their whole life without ever like fucking up? You know like do you think that takes away the freedom of childhood? Maybe I haven't thought that far. I just think it's kind of fun and silly. But it wouldn't have to be like their whole childhood. It gives me like a highlight of their childhood. No. I'd want this to be their whole childhood.

Oh, honey, honey. Yeah. What do you want? What if I filled one of these hats with salsa? I don't know what that...oh, you probably meant the other one, huh? Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You're wearing the bandana, right? Ah, Arnie! Arnie! What if I filled one of these hats with salsa? Hi, you know I don't wanna fucking hear about that, you said, or... Oh. Come on, you said, or why are you still into salsa so much?

Well, technically I'm not anymore, but I just had an exciting thought that these hats would be the perfect vessel for some sort of dip. Oh! Will that be based in yogurt, or whether it be a delicious creamy hummus, or whether it be some chopped up m-long of vegetable and fruit that could be devoured by chip? Yay! Let this hat sit upon my head and feed the masses. Oh, you're right, you said, or I'm so sorry, I forgot, you magically lost your love of

salsa. And you don't want to weigh this trip as a way to get away, for you to be used to door again. Right, for you to find your smile. So if you're here to regain your love of salsa, I think that's just a kind of satisfying story arc that people would be really excited about if that's how this all ended. Get the rope. I do think that magic forbids me from ever loving salsa the way I used to, but no one said anything about me not loving the vessels that salsa served in. Yeah, no one said nothing about you not loving top those vessels.

That's why we have knit right up there. One man's hat is another man's bowl. Yeah, we got a lot of things up there. Yeah, it's getting pretty long. This place is going to burn down pretty soon. We try to have them rotate. So like, you know, you ever see like one of those things like a paint and a bit of a fireplace and it shows like one thing and then in a few minutes, like the crank, we turn it and another one pops up.

Yeah. That's my, I tried to, try to invent that idea. I'm also an inventor. I try to sell my wares wherever I can. If I'm not dropping off maps, I'm making up new fangled inventions. Well you know what flowers, we ought to take a quick break here and then right after that break, I think you should tell New Arnie about some of your most popular inventions from over the years.

The end is one of our most popular segments in Vension Corner with Flowers the Orphan. Yep, it's usually the same one, but I fixed it. I think that was even a mini-series of Hal.fm. FM. Uh, champ, do you mind doing our theme song for Invention Corner with Flowers the Orphan? Oh, absolutely. Hey, look at this diagram. I got a blueprint for a new idea. Lifebops going above my head.

Hey, are those invented yet? No, it's a candle, but take a look at what I got planned in my book, pen to paper, thumb to head. Hey, it's invention corner with flowers. Now, thanks, champ. Thanks for doing a bridge. It was so good. It was so good.

A bridge too far. Oh, Madison County. Oh you've been to Madison County? Yeah I just got, I came over from there. I dropped off some of my maps at the dentist office over Madison County. Hmm, they covered all their bridges. Mm-hmm.

So you can't see them anymore, it's terrible. They put tarps over them. They did all the great bridges too, like there was, I like going on Jeff Bridges. Oh Oh, yes, yes, yes, Lord bridges But there's one that's kind of insane, right the one bridge the one to terabetheia Well that one is very sad terribly sad bridge But isn't there one bridge oh wait, maybe I'm thinking of a quade. I think you're thinking a Randy quade I spent some time there once.

Bush it. You guys ever go sit by the quade? Oh, I took a quade lude and it was quite a ride. Quite a journey. I feel like the quade ludes take quade ludes. I mean, that explains a lot of how it was going on and over there. Well, I think certain quades, you know, are crazy,

and then quade-leud, you know, can make you, like, really get into your inner space. Oh, yeah. Make you lose all sorts of balance. Oh, yeah. We're like you wanna take a Christmas vacation. All right, who was it get to my inventions? Oh, yeah.

We're gonna show New Arnie some of your most famous inventions, Marlotte. Yeah, I'm excited to see his inventions. Okay, so again, I'm a professional inventor. I'll just tank her in toil, but... Soldier and spy. Thank you. But this is something I've been working on

actually in the last five minutes when I heard your friend over there talk about salsa. And I thought about like, what if you take this book, this book, who reads anymore? Nobody reads, it ain't big, it ain't got no time for reading. But like you're like, I don't have a dip available when I'm ready for it.

But also like, wanna look smart? Like I'm carrying around a book all the time. But then like someone's like, I'm hungry, I got all these chips. Oh, like someone's like, I'm hungry at Ali's chips. Oh, where is it? Oh, wait, she invented observational standup? Yeah, you're really, somebody were like,

what was the deal with the books? Yeah. Y'all ever consider that sometimes, but it would both bite deep, put that, put it deep, put it deep, put it deep, put it deep, put it deep, put it deep, put it deep. I'm gonna go stand in front of this brick wall for me, you know what I mean? You have these little, these little things on the side of that. Bupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupup You're not shut. Who's with me? Orphans be going on trips.

All the time. Woo. Do you, oh, I'm sorry, is this your, is this your corner? Uh oh. You in the back? I see you. Did you go for a drag you here?

You wanna be here? No, I'm just trying on hats. Oh yeah, that's the guy from before. Okay, so anyways, it's basically a book full of salsa. This is a root of it. Oh, it's like you open up a cut out to pages and then I filled it with salsa. And so as you got a little... It's like a cookbook. Yeah, it's a cookbook. But the cookings are you done for you. Yeah, one of my favorite ones is this particular book, but I was also very fond of the one you did when you took some quayd ludes and then you invented that parent trap.

That's right, that's right. You were, I do find yourself a situation sometimes when you're like, what, what, what, I need a parent because you're an orphan. Cause you're an orphan. You're my piano orphan. So you like dig a hole, put a palm fronds over it and hope a parent falls into it so that you can force them to raise you? Apparently.

That is my tagline for it. That's what I like to say. Yeah, yeah. Anytime somebody sets me up for that. But yeah, I have a basically a parent trap as a series of holes I've dug everywhere I go, trying to get to hear it. Huh, have you ever thought about just trying to get your mom

back together with your mushroom? I mean, your dad? My mushroom dad is no longer with us. Oh, no. Yeah. So sorry to hear that. That's OK, they're delicious. Do you have you have a do you have to have a twin sibling sort of a koordabella? I

don't know But part of me always feels like there's some other half of me out there somewhere. Yeah, that's why I feel oh Hey, I'm sorry flowers. Do you mind excusing us for just a second? I forgot, we had some podcast business. I'm so sorry about this. No, that's okay. I'll just take this whole big ass basket of conventions. I was gonna show you and just say it on fire, bye! Oh, Arnie, I think she's gonna invent prop comedy.

Fuck! Look, Champ, maybe this was when it was your father was the champ. You know, like there have been several champs on the podcast. Flowers does have a twin, but she just doesn't know about it. Because they went to different schools. Flowers' other twin is a little more of a city flower.

And this flowers is, went to the School of Hard Nucks. Yeah. Wow. I don't know if it's our duty to tell her that, though. You know what I mean like are Is there a responsibility to let her know that or or to stay out of it? Hey flowers you have a twin Oh shit. What'd you say aren't it? What?

I don't know. Tell her what you just told me It sounds like you was saying that the flowers there's you have another tool you have a twin Is it this woman I'm staring at next to the table sitting right here Oh Oh, I just came for the show I heard there was somebody going to be standing up and doing some Observations and I do enjoy an observation ever since I've gone to schooling

Arty Ulysses and twins. I got a tear looking at you, like looking in a mirror. I know. I smell significantly less like whiskey, but I guess that's to be expected. It's so great just to hear them talk right next to each other. There's just something about it that just amuses me. I really close it. I touch your mouth. Do you have a wart on your mouth?

Like I do. Do you want some on your mouth? Like I do. Oh, this one sells. I think I'm gonna go. So. No, no, I'm sorry, ma'am. Before you go, I'm sorry we haven't been formally

introduced. I'm already a camp. I don't care. I'm incidental. I'm already a camp. I'm from... I don't care. I'm incidental. I just came to see a show. No, I guess I was asking, what's your name? What do we call it? What do you like to be called?

My name? Yeah. Gulch. Gulch? That seems important somehow. Wasn't flowers found in a Gulch? You know he missed gulch? Yeah, but I don't have any memories beyond when I actually climbed out of a gulch.

So I gave myself that name and then went to school, made my own way and taught myself. But it's very odd. I don't really talk about it because I don't have any memories before that moment. So... You... So a part of us... KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! Oh! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! KILLA! K Oh, oh, my neck. I don't think I'm for this scarf.

That's a very absorbent scarf. It's oh, you're trying to suffocate some warts I'm leaving Good don't come back You're in room for two of us now flowers that might have been your your very own can your long-law sister Now, no, you've been said in parent traps, but sibling traps may be just as effective to find some connection back to your past. I'm not interested in building a family beyond the one that I got right here in front of me. I hate all of you, and all of all of you.

You're my kin, and you're the biggest pains in my ass. Flowers, I know I've asked you this before, but would you be willing to join my quest to end all the pinker tins who cause nothing but heartache and distress here in these here deserty parts? Yeah. I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll do it. And flowers, would you do me the honor

of taking this dead man's hand? Yep. Thank you. I'm gonna put it in my front flap. Just button it up, finally. I've had that open this whole time. There we go, right there, I'm a little kangaroo. Woo.

Huh, something about an orphan pertain to be a kangaroo with a dead man's hand in their front pouches. Kind of a deer in it. Something worth it in a boulevard place. Olli, I found a blue one. What? Yousador, there's a lot of stuff going on over here. Why are you missing all of this? I found a blue sombrero.

Yousadore, this flower has had an emotional break through the likes of which our flowers has never had. Like, you're missing. Oh, never will. I'll just fucking go back to whatever you're doing. Okay, goodbye. Look, flowers. You.

I can say it as well. I love you and I hate you too. You are like me. Oh, I know. I've been here I hate you too. You are like family to me I've been here a long time and you are one of the very first people that I ever met when I came to high-fune And I pissed you off immediately Yeah, and I threw you over a cliff and I Well, I threw you over a cliff and then I ran a couple days journey I got over there and then I was pretty impressive, honestly.

I didn't know how to be fair, cliff ducked. That's true. But then I threw you off a cliff. And I apologize about that. But. That's okay. Flowers, I need your help. You take ways is different than the situation that you list he's is talking about?

It's actually this sort of a venn diagram of the same situation. I'm trying to get back to my world and I finally have a way. We're gonna have to hijack the railroad barren's new steam powered locomotive. But he has a retinue of Pinkerton's all over town and we're not gonna be able to get this done with all these Pinkertons around Okay, well you need me to do you need me start taking out Pinkertons You need to go get that steam train. You need me to fuck some sexual bonds We do need some of that stuff, but you know Arnie has a very strict rule about no killing Yeah, or at least we can't do the killing somebody else can do the killing a la

That man begins that yeah close enough look I need you to take out those pinker tins I'd refer them not to die, but you know that's between you and your God I guess I Know I'm a little wild. I'm a little off the cuff. I did just meet possibly my sister, if not an extension of my own personality that I wasn't aware of and manifested a physical form. That part is unclear. That part we may never find out. We'll leave that in open mystery, a secret that we all just witnessed, but I did bite her neck with my warty mouth.

However, I will keep myself restrained for this situation because it's what it demands. And I'm always amenable to what the situation demands. I'm gonna make some maps for the pinker tents. You want me to keep them busy? Yes ma'am. I'm gonna send those assholes all over this town so they don't know where they are. They won't know

Up from down right from left. They're thumb from their own asshole. By the time I'm done with them and the maps that I'm about to create. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that sounds amazing. Thank you, or our flowers. Thank you so much for helping us. Yeah, let's take a quick break and Or flowers, thank you so much for helping us. Yeah, let's take a quick break and keep making some plans on the other side. Hey, let's even do better than that after this break. Let's fuck up some Pinkertons. Yeah! Uh... You should or... Uh, Yusudor?

Yes, how can I help you, you know, they see us? We was talking. We got a plan, it's for me. And uh, I already think there should be no more killing A la Hal Jordan as Green Lantern or some bullshit. And I, uh, damn it, I hate to ask. I'm a gunslinging outlaw. And, you know, the world is changing, and maybe I'm not the right person for this job.

Maybe if a fella like you, what's can manipulate the world around him can help us. Non-lethally take out these pinkertens, and I have to ask for your aid. Oh, there's a plan. Oh, well I can't wait. Take me there now. Come on, fella. Let's go ahead. Head back to the main tape. So anyway, I think if you hold up this kettle flowers, you can put on your hand and be like, oh look at my little hat. And then if you take the top of this carrot off, you can put that up to

your eye and be like, Oh, I'm a pirate. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Just some of my ideas to work with your trunk of inventions. Why have this oversized toothbrush that I do a lot of jokes with? Well, we really appreciate those suggestions, man, that like Champ, but. Oh, I guess I'll fuck off then, huh? I guess I'll just fuck off. I guess I'll just fuck off and die. Should I just fuck off and die? Well, no. Could you fuck off and die?

We would appreciate it. It just be confusing for people listening to the podcast. They might think that Champ is talking, but it's just man at the other table who sounds like Champ. Sure, Champ, what do you think about this? I think we let him stay. If Champ does a new voice, it doesn't bother me as much. A new voice.

No, he's gotta go. Hold on, let me- Ah! What the hell? I did his neck off. That's the second person I had there neck bitten this episode. But I didn't kill him, I just named him. Yeah, I bit his neck straight off though, you know.

That's a little different. Well, only one of them was a man trying to explain comedy to me. Ha ha ha. Mad props to him. He deserved everything he got, I think. Yeah, truly, get out of here. Can't talk anymore. Oh.

Ha ha ha. Well, Ernie, I recruited you, Siddore, as much as it pains me to do. So I think you can help us take the train out. Wait, are we killing a train? Wait, are we killing a train? No, no, look, we need to take the train out. You said, take the train out.

Look, when the big shootout happens next week, we need to have that train. And during the distraction of the shootout competition going on, if I can get that train going fast enough, I think my rudimentary understanding of science can get me back to my world on that train. But we got to clear our path, there are too many Pinkerton's ionists around here. Already how fast we're talking with this train. 87 miles per hour, 89 miles per hour. Let's split the difference. Let's say 88 miles per hour. 88 miles per hour. miles per hour. Wow, let's split the difference.

Let's say 88 miles per hour. 88 miles per hour. Great drops of Jupiter. We aren't yet have an idea. Mm-hmm. During the big shootout every year across town, there's another event called the Big Chill, which is people who don't want to be a part of the big shootout.

Oh, yeah. So maybe we tell people who are at the big chill that they, in a calm, relaxing manner, should clear a path. It's counter-programming. Yeah, like help clear this path for the train. Yeah. What's more relaxing than gardening? You know, there's some other stuff happening over that big chill, right?

What? The big chill? There's other stuff going on. I thought it was just people... You know what that's about, right? Why? The big chill? There's other stuff going on. I thought it was just people... You know what that's about, right? That's about... People relaxing at a cabin or something, right? No, no, champ. I think they keep trying to talk.

One guy to have sex with that other guy's wife. What? Hold on, what the fuck are you talking about? Is a bunch of people trying to convince this one guy to have sex with his wife? That can't be right. I'm pretty sure that's right, champ. I think he's just to have sex with another guy's wife. That's right, that's right.

Yeah, yeah. I guess come to think about it. I did have a very well-known friend who was a part of the big chill, but I think they cut him out of it. So I guess I don't have all the intel. Must be nice. But the music's great over there.

Is what I hear. The music, oh yeah. I hear it's great. Really, the big chill is about that? Is this real? Hold on, Ernie, Ulysses, flowers, are you kidding me? Man, afraid not son. The title of it is the big chill,

and it's about a guy trying to get somebody else to fuck his wife. That's cocked up. Man who sounds like champ. I'm gonna fucking bite your nigg myself. Fine, I'll leave. Well, now you did it. I saw my dance. I think it's because they couldn't have a kid, right? Oh, they're on kid. Okay, then I guess I get it. Yeah, still still pretty weird. Yep. So I

understand you want to get some people out of the way without killing them? Yeah, I need the help of everybody, but specifically flowers the orphan, but really everybody. But I'm focusing on flowers because I don't know if she'll pee in more than just this episode to get rid of as many Pinkerton's as possible. Well, I suppose I could just cast a spell that lifted them all out of the way at once.

That's of any interest to you. That seems a lot easier than all the maps I was about to make. I mean, I started on half of them, but it's fine. I can use them for something else too. I'd be happy to do it. It's just a simple price. A simple price. You want us to pay you? It's just a simple price. Ah, a simple price. You want us to pay you. How do we know that you're not maledroid at all this magic stuff? Huh?

How do we know you're not just a clumsy, bumbling, fucking blowhard? How dare you? Look, I am a great and powerful wizard. Everyone knows it, and I- Ah! I'm trying to double the bucket. I've got my foot in the bucket. See, Arnie, we can't have this mallet droid

trying to get rid of pinkers. So, that's my comedy bucket. Damn, comedy bucket. It's full of glitter. Ha, ha, ha. I'm never gonna get this glitter off me now. Oh, RIP, you're sure it's torn. I'll clean up the glitter. I guess it's not a shirt, It's a robe. What is that a robe? What would you call that? a poncho?

Yes, this is a poncho And my blue sombrero. I'm assimilating quite well here, but I don't want to I want to get back to my version of food If you have some way to get out of here, new Arnie, you're new to me. Okay. Well don't call him new Arnie, call him Narnie. Uh, Narnie.

Narnie, Narnie, Narnie. Can you get me back to our food? Look, I should be Arnie. Hey, Narnie, Narnie. Hey, Narnie, Narnie, Narnie, Narnie, Narnie, and hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, I have to watch this. Look, all I know is I've been here for over seven years and as soon as you You knew Arnie and you wizard man as soon as you show up suddenly everyone's trying to give me nicknames

And I have a strict no nickname policy. Hey train God, I love that dammit. I'm gonna throw you off another cliff I'm gonna throw you off another cliff. I will do it because you love me. I like that one. Hey, are you trained? Me trained. That's fantastic. Damn it, I am trying to steal a train.

I really stepped into this one. It really worked out too well, and I couldn't help myself. Yeah, this was right there. Well, I did say, you know, you should or could help. So if there's something we can do for them, I'll help them get back to their world too. I suppose we should consider it, but I don't fully pretend to comprehend what it is that you're laying down there, original Arnie.

Look, I'm sorry, I don't, I'm not as familiar with stuff here, but is that guy that just walked into the saloon? Is that a that just walked into the saloon? Is that a pinkerton? Bollard hat, vest with two chains. That's a pinkerton. Sasha crosses chess that says pinkerton. Two chains. Once for his watch, once for his other watch.

Wow, two watches, he must be rich. No, you see the Pinkerton's here. They've got a secret way they communicate through what appears to be a watch, but some sort of, I don't know, mystical device or mechanical wonder that I don't pretend to understand. But those evil bastards, they know things we don't know. There's some high class tin cans they got going on there. That's where I flyers, you called it. things we don't know. There's some high class tin cans they got going on there. That's right, Flars, you called it.

But yes, certainly New Arnie, that is a Pinkerton. Why do you ask? Well, I'm just thinking that since your Arnie is busy seething over this whole A-Train thing, maybe we could take out this Pinkerton for him. Oh, well, I'd be delighted to, except the source of all my magic, my foot, is stuck in a bucket. What? Oh, your foot is the source of all your magic?

No, I'm just fucking kidding here, watch this, I'll throw him on the ceiling. I'll spin him around, I'll make his face into bacon, and his arms into yarn. And then I will see, I'll turn it all through, I'll turn him into a frog. How's that? Now do people believe I'm a fucking wizard or what? His face may be bacon in his arms as yarn, but we didn't kill him.

He killed me, I turned all that stuff into a frog, he's a little frog in a suit now. He croaked, he croaked. Oh no, we killed him. Technically he did croak. Okay, so that's one down. Now, how many how many Pinkerton's are in the railroad barren's retinue? Boo Boo carry the one 4246 Sounds about right. Oh shit. Also based on the display that just happened. do we want to make that big of a scene for every single one? Oh yeah, maybe not.

I just had something to prove, alright? You did a good job, I hope. Thank you. It was pretty great. Yeah, I am impressed. I will say I am impressed. You are magical. You can wield that magic pretty well.

I apologize. I'm being the bigger horse. It's no problem at all all champ. In fact, I Wow, I'm gonna call I'm a sir calling you mr. Bucket over here Look at mr. Bucket. Hey look at that. Is that another binkered in that just walked into the soul? Let's see maybe flowers do you want to take this one? Okay, okay. I got my maps, I got my wits about me, I got my know-how.

Hello, sir. How are you doing this, Fine Day? I'm fine. Okay, and I'm doing a... How my watches you got on you today that we now have? Why are you asking so many questions? I'm just interested. I was just, you know, our friends with someone, but I just live in the park. Look kid, don't mess with me. I'm part of a powerful organization. If you try to get in our way, you're gonna get crushed like a little flower. Now let me sit at the bar.

Hey, what's that? What's that? I got your nose. What? I got your nose. See this in my hand right here? Give me back my nose. This little fleshy bump.

I got going on in my hand right here. It's your nose. Give me back my nose. Not until you die. What? I'm sorry, that's not what we're doing. Not until you die. What? I'm sorry, that's not what we're doing. Not until you relax. Well, how do I do that?

Do you have any bad plans in your head? Like I love them. Let them go. Damn it, I need my nose. You promise to be good? Look, I'll make you a trade. Okay, now we're talking. I'll give you my trade. Okay, now we're talking. I'll give you my watch.

The good one? The special one. Give me back my nose. Okay, that seems like a good trade. Here you go. Is it a zoo on your face? It goes. Thank goodness.

Well, now that I've given up my special watch, no longer a pinker than I've betrayed my brothers and sisters and the force, and I'm going to go throw myself under a train goodbye. Okay, bye. Hey everybody, I got a lot of information based on that inter-exit. Oh wow. Yeah, we heard the whole thing. That was insane. Okay, so I have this special watch now and I feel like this is a communication device that we can talk to the other pinker tends to and then if we can get them to give it their watches, it seems to be deeply related to the sense of self and their dignity, and they'll just not be Pink or Tins

in a more. Yeah. It could be special watch in terms of like a sentimental value. Let me, yeah, it just says, two Greg from Dad. Well, she is. God damn it. There could be something more to it.

Why don't we, let's play with the hands here. Uh, like my hooves are so clumsy. Can somebody play with the hands? Yeah, I got it. I'll play with the hands here. No, not the dead man's hands. Sorry, they... Oh, sorry. They have the watch. They have the watch. They have the watch. Yeah, they're talking about the watch there. Sorry.

Do you want me to do with the dead man's hand? Uh, yeah, why not? Okay. Oh, wait. Is that a third pink third Pinkerton that just popped in the door? Yeah. James, why don't you go ahead and take care of this one. Nope, I'm gonna stay perfectly still and hope he walks behind me.

Okay. Notting to the bartender. He's looking for open seating. He's in front of me. He's to the side of me. He's to the side of me. He's to the side of me. He's to the side of me. He's to the side of me. He's behind me. Kick Good one champ did I kill him? Yep, right? Oh no fuck. Oh

No, no, you didn't kill him. He went throughout through the window and landed in the trough Oh, but he'll be unconscious for a till a till well after the take that motherfucker trough. Did yeah he'll never be the same but I'm not gonna be just pockets I didn't kill him he'll never be the same but I didn't kill him oh wait here comes another pinkerton your name do you want to take care of this one sure I like to say the name is really fast so there's never time for it to be me I I won't kill him, but I don't have to save him. Is that it? I don't know, that's another or anything. It's fine.

Excuse me, sir. News. You mind if I borrow your hat for a moment? My... my hat? Why do you want my hat? Uh, just a custom here. Uh, in custom here in Hogswood that you take off your hat when you enter an establishment like this. Oh well alright here I go, I'm taking it off. Do you mind if I hang it on the hook there for you? No. Here I'll take that for you enough. Shut your face around the head and smash your in on the bar. I got him.

I gotta be honest, I didn't see that coming. Wow, that could have gone any number of ways. And the one way it went, I did not see Cuffing. I really thought there was gonna be food in that head. Also, what was up with that guy's voice? All over the place. Pretty fancy. What are you talking about?

He sounded great. Oh, really? Yeah, it seems like one of the fanciest Pinkerton's Iron Man. Although they all think they're pretty fancy. What are you talking about? He sounded great. Oh, really? Yeah, it seems like one of the fanciest Pinkerton's Iron Man, although they all think they're pretty fancy. We're out, fancy. Oh wait, there's another Pinkerton Arnie. Oh shit. Hey, excuse me, you're a Pinkerton?

Yes, I am. What gave it away? Oh, guys, is another one of the fancy ones? You might have just talk to you? I don't really have a plan, but not at all. Not at all. Do you mind if I take off my white gloves, wouldn't finger it at high? Okay, sure, that's it.

Why? Why do you do that? Why do you take them off one finger at a time? Oh, taking it off from the wrist is what heathens do. And I'm not a heathen, I'm a pinkatin, a fancy one at that. Oh, have you been fancier your whole life? Yeah, come to think of it I have. I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth.

You see, my mom swallowed the spoon and it somehow ended up in her uterus. And then right into my mouth, the doctors had to remove it, I couldn't breathe. Guys, do I have to do this one? Yeah. Now the science doesn't check out. So it sounds like being fancy must just come easy to you. It's not really an effort or accomplishment.

Like, you just been fancy your whole life. No, no, no, no, it is exhausting. I just make it look easy. Here, why don't you do what I do? Okay. Put a hand into your coat pocket like so. Not okay, I don't really have a coat. But okay, yeah, make it very good. Now take a deep bow like this.

Oh, that'll out. Yes, that's fancy. Oh, and one of the fanciest things I can do is I can close my eyes for an unprecedented amount of time like so Good hey, I There's no way you can keep your eyes closed for at least two weeks I'll take that bet. All right, dogulator. Bye-bye. I think I think I I think I nailed that one I think so wasn't the worst of ever seen I

Gotta say these pinger tins are at least the ones who have come through this door are so suggestible. Well, I think what we should do is we should random all the ones what is capable of some sort of perambulation still and lock them all in the basement. Yeah, so if we just trick them into going to the basement, they'll follow immediately. I have to assume. Not 100% it's gonna work, but I think it will. I've made some headway on this watch and so far the only thing I figured out it can do

is it tells you how many steps you walked. Oh, that's pretty good. Is the basement big enough to fit, like, I don't know, 20,000 roaring pinkertons? You guys start somewhere. Maybe if we put that watch down there, maybe they'll just come looking for that. Oh.

Oh, maybe it's like a tracking device. Oh, maybe that's why all those Pinkertons keep coming through the doors, because their watches are sensing this watch. That watch is beeping just subtly. Maybe it has like a location tracking on it. Charging the basement. I think that's what Champchis said.

Yeah, I just said that. Yeah, but I repeat things. Thatowsing the basement. I think that's what Champchis said. Yeah, I just said that. Yeah, but I repeat things. That's my whole thing. Ugh. Ugh. Okay, tough guy. Pete and repeat, go into a bar. Pete stays.

Repeat leaves. Who left? Do what's his doubt? Can't do this. I can't do this. I can't do this. Somebody take that wash in the basement. Flowers, come on. I already threw it in the basement. Oh, good work. Good work.

You know, I'm so glad you found the joint art team flowers and I just have to say if this all works out, maybe Ernie can adopt you. You know what? I told you, I don't want any formal arrangements. It's nothing but friendship, family, blood, guts, can adopt you. You know what? I told you I don't want any formal arrangements. It's nothing but friendship, family, blood, guts, and glory. Sounds good to me. Sounds good to me.

And if everything goes to plan, next week we rob a train, and I finally escape high food. I feel it. You've been listening to Hello from the Magic Tavern. Use it or the blue and Ulysses D. Lamar were played by Matt Young. Champ the Talking Horse was played by Adolfiah. Flowers the orphan and gulped the slightly more sophisticated orphan that was probably her sister were both played by Brookbright. If you found yourself enraged by the high-pitched, nay, supersonic, dolphin-screen quality of Brook's voice, remember Brook is part of a long tradition of women in podcasting. Who, through their shrill, siren-keening, can communicate with each other, beyond a level of male hearing,

to say, let's sound however the hell we want to. Embrace that glee, ladies. Hello from the Magic Taffern is an independent production, made possible by Patreon supporters, most of whom we thank others whom we merely tolerate. People like Rob Hinstale, Kevin Payne, Graham Dice, Liz McLaughlin, Cindy Flanagan, Bryce Mayrose, Kyle H, Kayla, Andrew Roberts, Nikki Boyce, the obvious choice. Ask your pharmacist in your friendliest voice, where was I? Kyle Tilger, so close to Kyle Tiger, do the paperwork and make it happen, Kyle. Mike Looney, K. Mike Looney. Chaos the Hill Giant, because a predictable Hill Giant was just too much to ask.

Linda Danalook, and Emma Williams. Patreon supporters get a lot of stuff. Listen to earlier episodes where I'm invested in the explanation. The most recent Patreon exclusive bonus episode involves Chant trying to get a job as a therapist. With the help of special guest Jeffrey Cranor from Superior Podcast, welcome to Night Vale, and John Patrick Cohen from Hey Riddle Riddle. Clip! Why isn't it like anything in the office just go ahead and give it a lick? Most of the stuff in the office is cocaine, so...

Oh, does a wallpaper taste like snowsberries? Is that dumb to ask? No, it's just dumb to ask, but the snowspheres taste like snowspheres to vomit, but tastes like culture. Oh, you have a bowl of snowspheres, I'm an idiot. Let me just, ah, that is for patients. That's a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a've always loved sweets. I have a real sweet tooth. I'm not sure what started that in me, but I have a real sweet tooth all the time. Dr. Frod, should I say it or should you?

Oh, please. I mean, chat, by all means. It's impossible to tell why. I'm sorry, I was giving you a note, by allimons. Oh, by allimons. Because I noticed the first ball is full and the allimons ball is empty. I must have been high on cocaine. I must have eaten all the almonds.

Okay. It may actually make that a separate pitch and then it grows straight at the top and then just leave it on my desk when you leave. To learn more about all the perks of supporting the podcast, visit patreon.com slash magic tavern. Hello from the magic tavern is produced by Arne Neacamp, Matt Young and Adel Rathiah. Post-production coordination by Garrett Schultz. This episode edited by Chris Rathchin. Hello from the Magic Tavern logo by Allard Leban. Magic Tavern theme by Andy Poland.

Cowboy World version of the theme by Eric Chikovar. As they say, yeehaw. Now we're gonna have to do something to keep all these pink tins entertained and distracted so they don't try to get out of the beach. Oh, this is my moment to shine. Hi, you pinker tins! Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Welcome to the pink pound! Let me see those fists in the air! Like it just don't care! Push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha you