Hello From The Magic Tavern - Season 4, Ep 38 - Cowboy World: Escape

Episode Date: August 8, 2022

Miss Quibbert and the Railroad Baron face off while Arnie tries to escape Cowboy World once and for all.CreditsArnie: Arnie NiekampChamp the Horse: Adal RifaiUlysses the Cowboy: Matt YoungMiss Quibbert: Sarah ShockeySolomon Ragoon: Chris RathjenMysterious Man: Tim SniffenProducers: Arnie Niekamp, Matt Young, and Adal RifaiPost-Production Coordination: Garrett SchultzEditor: Sage G.C.Magic Tavern Logo: Allard LabanTheme Music: Andy PolandAdditional Music: Aric JacoverYou can support the show directly and receive bonus episodes and rewards by joining our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/magictavern for only $5 per month. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram, and now Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Well, another week and here we are still in Cowboy World. Were we ever not in Cowboy World? I can't remember. My life has always been Cowboy World. Did breed Larsen feel this way in room? Have I completely misread our demographic by even making that comment? Well, if this is my path to an Oscar and eventually being cast as an MCU superhero that directors don't quite know what to do with, so be it.

Sit back and enjoy the show. I Alright, I guess we got to keep up appearances, so no one suspects we're up to anything. One last time. Hello from the Dusty Saloon! A weekly podcast from the Wild West World High Foon, I'm your host, Darnie Neacamp, blah, blah, blah, blah. I fell through a dimensional portal behind a golden corral and sister oil and noise and the old western cowboy world of high fun. Luckily I'm still getting a Wi-Fi signal from the golden corral through the dimensional rift and he used my rudimentary understanding of science to build this hand crank that supplies electricity to my laptop

at least it has so far so I'm able to record this podcast in the saloon, the burgundy bronco, and the town of Hogswood, in the land of High Foon. And I'm joined, as always, by my co-hosts, Champ the Talking Horse. Nay, y'all! Arnie, it's so funny to see you blah, blah, blah through part of the intro and then do the rest. Yeah, I guess I got a blah, blah the whole thing, huh? You kind of blah, blah, blah like three words? Yeah.

It's still the exact length that it would You kind of blah, blah, blah, like three words? Yeah. It's still the exact length that it would normally be. Yeah, that's a fair. It's very interesting. Arnie, hey, speaking of, different beginnings, do you know anything new about me today? Hmm. I've been practicing walking on my back two legs.

Oh, so I could be more useful today. Oh, I mean, how much control do you have over yourself when you're walking that way, though? Not a ton. If you notice, my front two legs are tied to the walls just to keep me upright. Yeah, but your back two legs are jacked, but they're bowing in a little bit. You're kind of a bow jack horseman. Nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with that. But you're tied to the wall. So if we need to get out of here, at some point, you wouldn't be able to.

No, I think I could. I could just bite at the ropes, right? Okay, just remember, champ, we got a plan for today. We got a plan. Okay. And I am joined by my other co-host, Ulysses De Lamore.

Yay! Hi, I'm Ulysses De Lamore. Wildest gunslinging out all you ever did meet. Wanted in 12 counties, yet known from our bravery and noble heart by those that ain't trying to win my aimies. What? Oh, sir, I said that out loud. The indigenous people what we did steal this land from, know me as dances with Latin

shadow. The Spanish know me as Mastro del Chaos, and I'm known by those dull-gurmed Pinkertons in the northeast and the basement as Magic Jack Star. I've got to say, Ulysses, you seem especially chipper this week. Ever since we trapped all those Pinkertens, you've had the biggest smile on your face. You know what's on, because today is the day we send you home. So you're really happy to say goodbye to me? because today is the day we send you home.

So you're really happy to say goodbye to me? No, I'm saying that for seven years I've been trying to do this. And this is all your heart's desire and it feels me with joy, because I'm an outlaw, but I'm an outlaw with a heart of gold and doing right is what feels right. Okay, well that means a lot you listies, I've I've got to say an eighth that I won't miss you. I mean who else is gonna tell me about you know what happened on I don't know

Caroline in the city or something. Yeah, she was a comic strip artist. Yeah, she lived in a city She did this comic strip. Okay, and she had a little bit of romance going with this guy, whose name is on the diplomat tongue. I definitely know it. Yeah, let's say Richard, I don't know. Ulysses champ, let him have this. It's either this or my two dads, and we've heard him all hundred times.

No, no, my two dads, holy cab, the judge, I could go on about that one for a long time. But wait, no, no, we got more business to do because it looks like the shootout is gonna start pretty soon. I could go on about that one for a long time. But wait, no, no. We got more business to do because it looks like the shootout is gonna start pretty soon. In fact, I can almost hear, I feel like I hear the railroad bearing outside sort of starting the proceedings.

All right, it'll be a fair fight, but a deadly fight. Take your places and wait till my signal. So I guess as part of our podcast pre-show for the big Hogswood shootout, we should interview some of the contestants up, but most importantly we have Miss Quibbert back. Thanks for having me. This is a big day for all of us. I can imagine that there's a feeling of excitement shooting from your toes up to your thighs. I would say that feeling does permeate my legs as you have described and goes even farther right up into my neck. Glad I got that out.

Miss Quiver is so great to see you one last time before I take off. In full disclosure, I'm probably not going to be around during the whole shootout. Oh come come on, you don't wanna see me do my Robin Hood thing where I kind of show everybody like, I'm good at this. You know, I'm not just some woman in a big high skirt and a blouse, you know? I mean, I am, but I can shoot. Well, and I might kill today. I'm not sure.

I don't know what's gonna happen. So you really, are you still hoping to get revenge on Solomon Ragoon, the man that seems like killed your father? I mean, it's either revenge or forgiveness and I'm just like, I can get knuckle tattoos of either one or both. I don't know. It's one of those windy days. All these tumbleweeds keep going by. And it's like my brains waking up for the first time. I might be in for some redemption or I might be going straight to, you know, whatever equivalent type of fire replace that we subscribe to here in Hathun. That's right. You let's use champ.

What what is the sort of like bad place here? Oh, the devil's asshole. Oh, yeah. You don't want to end up in the devil's asshole. If you end up in the devil's mouth, you got a chance for redemption, perhaps you can write the wrong as what you're done in your life and make your way back up to God's patio.

But if you end up in the devil's butthole, you're just sucking sink fink or for the rest of your life or your death. And God's patio, Arnie, I can't tell you how great it is. It's sort of like picture a wrap around porch and then there's rocking chairs. And then you go inside in sort of a general store. There's like old timing toys and like button candy.

And then you go further in and they serve food. Now it is a lot of sides. They have like, you know, candy carrots and apple sauce, stuff like that. But there's a hearth with a fireplace and they have sort of like checkers. Do you know checkers? The dog? Yes, checkers the dog, but he's bigger. I prefer rallies. Anyway. Well, you're just playing igneu-ray mists. Oh, yes, there is a test, Arnie. There's

a test to see how smart you are. And if you fail the test, you immediately get kicked out of God's porch and go immediately into the devil's asshole. Wow. You have to get paid, you have to get paid at least two times. Is that right? Get to. You have to, yes. Thank you. Champ, you know, I've known you all these years. I had no idea how you were this religious. Oh, I'm not. I'm just, I'm just curious, I guess.

Sure. Miss Quibbert, man, I ask, how have you trained for today? How have you prepared for this big day? Well, I went to a couple of, I guess, I don't want to use this term because you're going to think that I'm not skilled. But I went to a few amusement parks, and I really practiced the heck out of those games.

Well, whatever helps you get your focus in your aim straight, I suppose, is good as practice as any. I want to cotton candy that's just the same size lady as me. It's just a lady made out of sugar fluff and she's just in the bag, just upright, you know, still tied up and I don't know what to do with her, but I'm so proud I won. And I think I could win today and whatever that means I don't know what it means yet. Mam, if you don't know what to do with her, I certainly would like to make her my wife. You haven't even met her yet. You don't even know what two colors she is. What two colors do you think she is? How'd you picture her?

It doesn't matter me what color she is. I love her for being sweet all the same. I don't know if you'd feel the same way after the kind of conversations we've had in the night. Oh well, I suppose I should hold off judgment then until I do have a conversation. I'll introduce you. Just don't embarrass me by proposing to my friend on a very first blind date. You know, it's like you, you men go zero to 110 like that. And it's, oh, all of a sudden I heard about a woman once.

I guess I'll marry her. Well, good luck with that. She might have something to say about it. It's a very good point. And I take your point, Miss Quibbert. And I hear the advice you give me and I internalize it and I shall. She's blue and pink, by the way. Oh, so cute. All right. Super hot. Well, I would be I'd be honored to meet her and make her quaint and court her if you give me the opportunity. Okay, well, if I live today, if I survive, I might introduce you if I'm in a good mood about it. Excellent.

Champ? Champ. Just me or do you listen, say he didn't care what to call if she was, but then when she said pink and blue, he seemed at least subtly less interested. Yeah, I did see his head start to hang just a little bit. And she said, pink and blue. Pink and blue. He seemed at least subtly less interested. Yeah, I did see his head start to hang. Just a little bit. Just a little bit.

Interesting, interesting. Oh, and Arnie, you know the amusement park that Miss Quibbert was talking about? I don't go to those because there's so much teenage PDA. What? There's so much teenage PDA. It's just a lot of people like putting their hands and people's back butt pockets They're back and like a kissing. Yeah, you know, they're back butt pockets. Not the front butt pockets the back butt pockets

Just so much pda. It's good. It's disgusting. It's ruining amusement parks Just had to get that off much just Okay, sure I have to say anything Well, Arnie, I know I know we have to get ready for our task today and I just want you to know if you'd like a souvenir of something from Haifun, I have a wall at each of my four pockets here, two in the front, two in the back. If you'd like some, maybe some money or some coins from food to take with you back to your version of Earth.

Oh yeah, we also have a machine where if you take a gold piece, it'll elongate it. Yeah, you want one of those, take back? Yeah, sure, I guess so. I mean, honestly, I'm just looking forward to not being here. You know, it's been a long time. I mean, it's the first that seemed cool. I was in a cowboy movie.

Oh, come on, you didn't make one single friend. No, I made lots of friends. I mean, honestly, even last week, I finally confessed to having friendly feelings for flowers the orphan. We've been rivals this entire time. I'm gonna miss everybody, but I'm not gonna fucking miss high-foon.

It's hot. The food is delicious. It's dirty. The regular is delicious. It's dirty. The regular folk, what we know, is nice to each other and friendly and don't have to lock their doors to them, damn, pink or tin, show up and start shaking everybody down. I'm glad we got about 4,000 of them down into that basement already. I think there's about 600 left or so. Oh and Arnie speaking of food, I wanted to talk to you about a business proposition.

Once we secure that locomotive, I thought to turn it into a restaurant call it Chiu Chiu's Chao. Damn. Oh, that sounds like a storyline I'd really hate. What? I love that idea. Can I be a vlogger?

Thank you, Lissie's. Absolutely. Fuck you, Arnie. I'm sorry, I don't mean that. I don't mean that you're leaving soon. I don't want to fight. Look, I just hope you don't serve any fish and chuchu's chow, because where we're going, we don't need any row.

Well, I'm gonna head out. Hang on, run, hang on. The ropes? No, no, no, no, come on. I want us all to huddle up here and hug. Now you feel that? You feel what's but twix just all? That's the power of love.

Miss Quivert, I'm gonna miss you too. Why don't you get in here? Hey, I was thinking about it. I need all the luck I can get. Yeah. Arnie, you remember when you first showed up here and we all thought your name was Calvin Klein? Well, yeah, because of my underwear,

how I'd written the words Calvin Klein on it. You wrote them? It didn't come embroidered like that? Oh no, they're Haynes. Remember when you tried to fuck my mom? Yeah, you were so weird about it. I don't know why you mean me. It was just, you know, I don't know.

It was just, it was a weird time I guess, but I'm glad we put our differences aside and became friends. Arnie, I gotta say you're my best friend. Well, you're my best friend as well. I'm gonna miss you, champ, and I'm, I'm gonna miss you. I'm, if I'm being honest, I've hardened my heart a little bit because I've seen so many versions of you die over the seven half years. I've been here.

Sure. So it's a little hard to stay attached of course I still love you. Thank you But I have to emotionally get to a place where I know that I will have to live without you You know, of course. Yeah, and it's also been weird because a lot of my predecessors died as you mentioned So you'll mention a moment and I don't remember it was clearly a different champ So it's just there's been some awkwardness and sometimes I play along and I'm like, oh, I do remember that and I really don't. So I think it'll be nice to do away with that, Ruse. Yeah.

Champ can, I've been, I've been meaning to ask this for a long time, but I always felt bad about it, but I just gotta get on 14 inches. What? Oh, what were you gonna say? First of all, I know that's alive because you are tied up. You're still like, it's like practically in my face right now. Oh, I thought you were gonna ask because you are tied up. You're still like,

it's like practically in my face right now. Oh, I thought you were gonna ask how high I could jump. Oh, well you said. Oh, nothing. Disgusting. Champ, I was gonna ask, are there any ways that you're different from your predecessors because as far as I can tell, each champ has been exactly the same.

Hmm, you know, I guess I don't really know. Do you know anything different? Or is my eye color different, or my gate a little bit different? I mean, I guess you're the first champ that tried to walk on his back legs. There you go. That's what sets me apart.

They're evolving. Yeah, thank you. I'm evolving. And my best friend is the wide open planes. And the stars, uh, clear night. Sleeping next to my horse under those stars. How's that going? You guys hang out much? Do you and the stars hang out much?

You and the wide open planes go, uh, catch a play sometime? Well, I mean, you know, sometimes you leave a message and I'll get back to you right away. Yeah, you and sleeping with your horse tossed a ball around? Yeah, well, you're not really not so much. Huh, there, huh. It's not that. Miss Goyber, what do you got going on for you? Do you got any, like, a good stuff going on in your life right now besides just, you know, seeking revenge?

Yeah, I mean, I was thinking, would you guys be sad or feel a sense of loss if I killed or somebody killed Mr. Solomon Regune? No, no, no, no, no, no, man. Yeah, as long as we don't do it. It's just like the part in a cremice carol that where everybody talks about the main guy and how they're like, no, we wouldn't care if he lived or died. And he's not even here to hear it.

And sometimes I wish like, if he was just right outside, could hear just three strangers in a room saying, I don't care if Mr. Sullivan, Ragon, lives or dies because the way he's lived his life has been selfish. I just wonder what he would think. Well, you know, Miss Quivert, I've been spending the last several years, again and again, saying no one dies, all of Spider-Man. I've had a very strict, nobody dies, policy, but I'm going to be honest with you. I hope Solomon Ragnum dies. And Marty.

Barkeep. Barkeep. Oh, please buy a round of a regional sparkling wine for the entire establishment, because Solomon Ragon is triumphant once again in this round of the Hogswood shootout. And will, in fact, never die. Oh, shit, he's behind me, isn't he?

Ah, there it's, damnation. And I don't think he even heard all the nice things that we were just saying about you, uh, Mr. Solomon Ragnun, what a treat it is to see you of all people before my eyes. And you may recognize these eyes because they're exact same eyes as my father had. Ah, hello, Miss Quibbert. I knew you would be here. I'd been warned that you were on the lookout for me. Don't embarrass yourself by asking me out. I am not interested. All right, I'll remember that.

That was not what I was going to say. I was more going to gloat over my triumph over you and your family. But I guess we haven't even matched toe-to-toe in the shootout yet and when we do you'll know because there'll be a big old hole right between your eyeballs and it might be in peat in the way that you think. Well pretty big talk, Miss Quivert, but you're looking at a man who just took down big Dutch and little Dutch. Oh, you know congratulations I usually don't name my shits. She got you there.

Clearly, they were members of the... they were gunmen. Okay, nevermind. Context, Ragoon. You don't seem to bring anywhere you go, except for the cause of ruin in this town. Were they part of the Go-in Dutch gang? That gang that would each only rob an equal part of the bank? Yes, it was a charming affectation of theirs. Frankly, I was kind of happy to let them cover it, even when I was the one directing the crime. Look how freely I'm speaking. Yes, I have directed bank robberies.

I liked it when they would go into a bank to do a robbery, and then they would stink the place out with their big old farts and everybody inside would say open a window and they'd say we can't. Well, they filled their last oven. Maybe your last oven's going to explode later today. Well, it seems we got some real tension here. So why don't we take a break and see if we can settle things like gentlemen and ladies and when we come back, we'll head on out to and complete the tasks that needs completing today. Oh, while we go to break, you listen, do you want some of my rhubarb rings?

I'd love some rhubarb rings. They're pink and blue. So Miss Quipper, Solomon Ragon, railroad barren, while I have a year. Yes, already. Could the two of you ever imagine getting along? I wish you treat this more like a pre-sport show interview. I mean, this isn't some sort of get your eyes wet, you know, talk show between, oh, could we ever all just get along? I don't know. Maybe could Solomon Regune not have killed my father for not letting his sex robots work in the mines when all they wanted to do was make free

sex for anybody who wanted to be involved. I mean, my father had a vision and you're here. Can we ever just get along? I don't know. Does evil still exist in the world? Why can't we be friends? Maybe because we're better enemies. Well, I gotta be honest, Miss Quibbert. That sounds more like a champ job than an Arnie job. Thank you. Well, I'm prepared to say that I'm always ready to make peace because peace can be quite profitable. Miss Quibbert, this fighting that has taken place... What do you spell in it? P-I-E-C-E and it's a big old dump because I'm not interested.

I can buy that for 14 cents outside the horse barns. Uh, Miss Quibbert, we should bury the hatchet. There's no reason that you and Ragoon, Rail and Mineral and also cattle cannot have a profitable and pleasant relationship. There is a reason because you use ampersands and then the word A&D and you don't pick one or the other. Some of them is ampersands and some of them is A&D and already that shows me that you do not have the attention to detail nor the empathy to be the type of business person that I would even go spend money at much less work for.

It is a stylistic choice. It is a stylistic choice that shows the full breadth of my investments. Your topography is galling. What? Your topography is galling. You know, I've always seen and I thought it meant that like the Rail and minerals were a team and then and also was brought in later and was not approved Yeah, that's it. It just gives your whole business a sense of disharmony and you know what it was a real

Disharmonic thing to do for you to have my father murdered. I mean, I could let it go Maybe I will maybe I'll forgive you later today. Or maybe I won't. Maybe I'll kill you dead. And I won't even do it with a gun on Baris you by using my two woman's hands around your neck. All right, now hang on, it's a shootout, not a chokeout.

A few things, including one that I cannot drop. The typography on my logo is fantastic. It's called Times New Regune. And it is custom made. If you split out yourself on a parchment paper and then give it to a company that then brought you back the stamps that you could use. No, I hired the most appropriate individual for the job.

Because luckily, he did not refuse my offer the most appropriate individual for the job. Because luckily he did not refuse my offer and require that I kill him in a mine. So you got your own typographer to make your own damn font? Yes. And then you somehow related it back to you trying to force my father, who is a scientist and a good man who only wanted to make pleasure people to pleasure people in HaFoon. You made that about this. I wanted to

be upfront. I'm not gonna lie to you. I'm not gonna do the thing where I say the opposite of what happened and then loudly say wink, I am going to look you in the eye and say, yes, I killed your father. Yes. I forged these documents that lay claim to your entire family business, and which will soon be processed, but it doesn't have to be this way. I am in a different mood today than before. Perhaps, perhaps I'm just feeling more forgiving. Perhaps some of my allies have gone missing. But whatever the reason, we can work together. There's no reason for this.

What are you going to forgive me for? What do you have to hold up against my door that I have done to you and Be specific because we've got an audience here And I think we should really put on a big show before Arnie goes back to his magical place Where you can get on a little sky bus and zoop through the air and eat peanuts and then maybe on the way out Thank the captain. Yeah, Arnie. Didn't you say once your metal bird lands everyone applauds? Yeah, well, for a while I did lie about being an airline pilot,

but no one seemed to understand what I was talking about. Arnie, have you, excuse me, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Has anyone seen my version of Arnie? I have some very important information to tell him. I'm just a fellow with a blue poncho and a blue sombre row. Don't worry about it. As they weren't seen, I guess you'd call him new Arnie. I think he's over in the spot for plan B.

Ah, Arnie, I've done it! I've done it! I'm finished! Who was that mariachi player? He had a book full of salsa. Alright, uh, Ms. Quibbert, an excellent point. What do I have to forgive you for? Uh, I suppose in my heart I hold a deep rage to anyone who says no to me. But you're right, that's not a reason to continue to murder members of a certain family in a mine. And I would like to extend my hand in friendship. Call the truce. Because if we don't settle it here, we'll settle it in the town square.

I wouldn't mind settling it in the town square, to be honest with you if you're gonna say pretty words And I hope there are a lot prettier than the ones you just said because they are just some of the most basic box antique $5 a word bits of wisdom I ever didn't hear then yeah, we can meet in the town square Very well. Let me check the time Come in Pinkerton's where are you? Very well. Let me check the time. Come in. Pinkerton's. Where are you? Zee Salman, you mentioned before you. Some of your compatriots were missing. Everything going all right for you?

Arnie, I... Everything's going according to plan. I mean, and the plan, of course, is exactly what you see, which is that I show up and win this shootout, Farron Square. Well, why don't the two of you continue to talk a little bit, do a little bit more of a sort of a pre-fight banter. Oh, I like it. It's more like a sports show now.

Yeah, definitely. Like, maybe do your sort of threatening monologues at each other. Promise. Yeah, you're both banterweight. like maybe do your sort of threatening monologues at each other. From us. Yeah, you're both banterweight. Yeah, me and Ulysses and Champ, we just have to go get some more microphones, I think, for the, we'll be back in just a minute. Yeah, we have to go see a horse about a man.

Yeah, that's it. Yes. Yes. You better untie him there and let him walk on all force. Okay. Oh, thank you. Oh, my house is sore. Oh, my house is sore. Come on you two. We're getting on out here. I've managed to do what I've been trying to do for weeks. I've resonated.

You've what? I'm sure I mentioned this at some point in the last few weeks. I've resonated with this realm. Now, no, I think people like you here. Yeah, I think they've liked you. No, no, no, no, no. This is like a magic thing. I found the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the to listen to this person right now. I have managed to resonate with this realm. So in the future, I shall be able to access it again. And that means you can form a relationship with this Arnie.

And as he gets home, perhaps you can get home. And we can learn how all of the Arnie's across all of the multiverse can all find their way back to their Earth. Wait, why are you talking? Wait, you talk to Resonate, the violin player? No, no, no, no, no. I, Nate's very nice, but we already had this conversation earlier, and I was trying to explain to him, and he's like,

I just, I just use Reson as I play the trick. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, this is about Resonate. It's a way to, for me, imagine this. I built a magical bridge in my mind, but Twix, my magical brain, and the realms of Ephesius, and this world, so now, other worlds are open to us, Arnie. I don't know how to access all of them yet,

but it's a beginning. It's a, huh? Bridge back. So we actually accomplished something? That's why we've been waiting here all this time. Do you think I was doing nothing this whole fucking time? I did, I just thought you were fucking around with salsa and stuff. Wait, no, I was resonating with the rail, idiot.

Hey Arnie, it's me, your horse, champ the horse. You know that train you were looking for? Yeah? We'll listen to this. Oh, it's the two-t the two sweet it's champ your horse Hey Arnie yeah, why am I talking like this you're right there. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm being weird The train the train is coming all right guys. Let's all get to get we got to get on the train Okay, here's the plan. I'm gonna be very long before people start wondering where we went. Yes, he says here's the plan

Arnie Arnie Ulysses used Arnie, Arnie, Ulysses, Yusador. Yes, yeah. Ulysses? Yep. Yusador. Yes? The four of you go get that train. I am gonna go to the big chill and watch that guy try and convince someone to fuck his wife.

Team go. Wait, wait, wait, wait, hold on, champ, come on. You're the fastest one. Ah, fuck fine I'm not gonna go to the big I'll go next year at the very least to go to the big easy It's a lot less work than going to the big chill. Oh, I'm listening. What's the big easy? I was over there by the big sick Anyway, uh, uh, uh, honey. Why don't ride champ and, uh, Arnie and you, Lizze? Uh, I'll take you on, uh, I don't know, uh, how about a magical silver disc? You're off-dural, cool!

Oh, man, I was hoping that you used one of those things where one pumps up and one pumps down. You know those things, Arnie, what are they called? Come on! I don't know. The things, one pumps up, one pumps down! What about the other, Arnie? Maybe it's the wrong Arnie. Oh, you, you, Arnie. You don't things! One pumps up, one pumps down! What about the other, honey? Maybe it's the wrong one.

Oh, you, you, you, you aren't talking about. I know you're talking about this. One pumps up, one pumps down. What? Ugh. Bogoballs? Alright, Miss Quivert. How about this?

You come and work for Ragoon, Rail, and Mineral. But not as a lowly employee, but as a partner. You've shown great intelligence, great resolve, and with our forces combined, perhaps we could bring even more progress to this swept plain and crappy cattle town. Answer me one question. Did you ever involve yourself with one of my father's robots? That you would intended to hire, to hire as your coal mining employee. Did you or did you not have a relation with one of my father's sex robot inventions?

Look, I needed to know whether I could have robot children. I had to do, I had to test it. You can't just declare that a robot is useless for production. If you don't actually, you know. You declared it useless for production and you put that robot into the river. And you didn't know that those robots were not programmed to drown like you and I. Those robots were programmed to walk down deeper and deeper and deeper into the depths of the earth only to explode back up and to tell the truth to anyone who would listen.

Oh no. That robot never died. And that robot should be arriving in the town square and oh, do you, now you have a watch train with a couple of pocket watches attached here and there. Maybe you could tell me what time we were going to have that shoot out. Like, we're supposed to go, the finals are at high noon. It's, it's one till. Mr. Solomon Ragnune, did you forget so soon that we were in love with each other?

Look, uh... Uh... I'm sorry. I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I helps with conception, the pillow talk. Nothing was met by it. Why did you put me in the river to die? Did you not know that the river would only make me stronger? I certainly did not know that the river would make you stronger. You know what? I didn't know that either. That's actually kind of like some people call it a bug.

I call it a feature. You know, I have to say I am truly well by your father's craftsmanship. That's full of surprises. Do you remember my name? What? Do you remember my name? K-bott?

Not even close. Miss Mr. Riggoon. It's used as many of us are waiting in the basement for the show to start. Pardon? Me and the rest of the Pinkerton's were waiting in the basement for the show to start. I'm sorry, I think there was some miscommunication. I've been trying to get a hold of you, but what show? There was this orphan who had one of those butt flaps open in the front and was doing comedy Butt flap open in the front like yeah, I think her name was the front pockets flowers or something

Well, if that's the show then that's the show this has nothing to do with the show. No, that was not the show She was putting on a show that was not the show. I just want to be clear about that. If there's anything, if you want to come down there and join us, we can just wait for the next next show to start. I'm actually, can you perhaps put up polls in the show and come up and assist me? Just me or the other? The Pinkertons. The rest of the Pinkertons. Yes. All right, I'll go rost him up. Yeah. Ha, ha, ha. So it wasn't K-Bot.

Was it, uh, you know, I think you're just being sort of insulting by just kind of guessing. You could ask or apologize or. I, I, I am sorry. You tried to have me killed and you can't even remember my name. I guess- I can explain that very easily. I, in fact, tried to have you killed because I valued you so little. That was the problem. I apologize.

I do- Have you changed your stance? Do you see my value now? See how I'm covered in barnacles from the river? See that they've only made me stronger? I do see that. That's real impressive. I mean, I look at you now. I see a powerful sex spot. Who could, you know,

lay telegraph cables at the bottom of the ocean. You didn't remember my name was Port Trisha. I did not, but it's all never forget it again. Port Trisha. I did not, but it's all never forget it again. Port Trisha. I'll keep casting spells to freeze the Pinkertons. The rest of you, take over the train! You have everyone get that! Here, stations!

I changed my mind. I don't want you to kill him and squibbert! Come on, I thought we were doing this revenge thing together. I don't want him to die anymore. Thank you, Portricia. Thank you for giving me another chance. I too can grow and change. Is that my train? Do you hear that?

Well, I guess it's your time to make a big decision. I will do no damage to you, because, well, maybe I'm the only one here, but I value Port Trisha's opinion. And I believe that these sex robots are just as valid of people as regular people or even as animals. I think everybody has a right to just do what they need to do. And if that means that I don't kill you and you continue taking over as a robber baron and a maker of sex workers and to coal miners. Well, guess what? It's not my judgment to bring down upon you like a sledgehammer.

You're free to go and do whatever you will with Port Trisha. Port Trisha, would you join me on this trip to my train? Yes, but we will. Oh. Ladies and gentlemen of the train, uh, if I can have your attention, please. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh can have your attention, please. Oh, my tuition is about to be over. This is kind of a robbery, but I don't want any of anybody's stuff. We just want the train, so I'm afraid we can't slow down, but I need everyone to get off of the train. You want the train. What are you going to do to it? You brute. But where are the train, Mr?

Is this like one of those sex robots? I went to a sex robot store one time. It was called nut and bolt. I hope no one makes this part of the show. This is wild. Look, spatula. My husband hates this kind of thing, but I don't know. Pineapple, pineapple. No, no, look, this is not a show. We are literally stealing this train and where we go, you can't all go with me. Are we going to see you in the bathrooms and you'll still be like the guy robbing the train and we just kind of go, we're taking a break together. Yes, can I get a portrait with you? Say it'll just take 45 to 60 minutes.

I don't know. Look, y'all got to get off the train right the hell now. We ain't messing around. Yeah, I'm so sorry to do this everybody. I know I'm wearing a priest outfit, so this must seem especially terrible. But champ, Elysses, can you just start throwing people off the train?

Yeah, don't worry, nothing. We got a special magic man. What's going to help you down easy from the train here? You just step on to the big silver discs Yeah, I got your back. Yeah, go ahead and get behind me get behind me. I'm just a guy. Get behind me Get behind me. Yeah, get behind me So many of those people have the same voice. Oh, sorry not everyone's completely unique already a lot of people sound the same. Sometimes families travel together. Yeah.

Hey guys, guys, hey. I hope things are going great up here. I just feel like, what are you? What are you? I'm Arnie. I'm the other Arnie, I guess. I guess I'm new Arnie. I don't love that.

So we're talking about your voice sounds exactly like other Arnie. Really? You think we do? Look, I feel like we're working overtime to sound. We don't have time. We don't have time. No, no, of course. Anyway, I feel it'll work at overtime to sound. We don't have time, we don't have time. No, no, of course, anyway.

I just wanna say, this is all great, and I know I'm really just here to support your plan, but I feel like I was giving a bad job. Like, my job is to shovel coal so that we go faster and faster. That's not like I'm not like a fast shoveler. All right, New Arnie, you stick back here with A-Train and I'll go shovel a coal. Stop, don't call me A-Please, don't call me A-Trained.

I don't- I get that it's fitting the situation, but I do not approve of nicknames. Great, so you go shovel coal, and then my job will be to throw it to break. Arnie, I got the best job. I should be my job. Why am I shoveling? Shhh, shhh, it's a break time. And I sound different. Alright, I've managed to get everyone off the train safely, using my magical discs, and now I sense that the train is moving approximately...

73 miles per hour, I think, in another about a mile a minute, we should be going 88! And at that speed, this train will be going fast enough that I'll be able to use my flux capacitor trade my credit. You're what? I'm calling it a flux capacitor. It's just a name. I can't really, there's too much science for me to explain, but I do have a rudimentary. Try. So it fluxes all the capabilities. And you don't know what the flux you're talking about. Remember, champ?

Look, he fell off the toilet. Can't wait for the idea. Oh, yeah. Look, I know I'm driving this train at dangerous speeds, but just trust me, this is gonna work. I'm going to climb back up on the top of the train and watch for Pinkerton, so maybe try to slow us down and use my magic to destroy them. I mean, gently move them aside.

You said, you're doing a great job. This, I gotta say, this is kind of fun. Yeah, this is what I'm built for. We should do this more often. How there's no trains in film, and already all throw to another break. No, I think we already did that. How many breaks do you guys do in this show? Oh. A lot more than we used to.

So we don't need another break? No, I don't think so. No, look, fuck breaks. I don't need to monetize this episode. No, look, this is it. You're not breaking it. Fuck breaks, they're train break, flew out the window. Ow.

I think you sure must have heard you, you've got a red of the breaks. Typical Arnie. Never knowing when to monetize something. Wait, Salmon or Goon? I thought you were in Hogswood. How did you get down the train? Oh, I almost bet my fate in Hogswood once again when a sex robot that I had discarded,

who, in case anyone asks, is name Portricia. That's a bit of a name, alright. An Allied herself with Miss Quibbert, but luckily I gave them both the slip and ran here and it seems like you seemed to be taking a while getting everyone off the train so I climbed on on the back. So you didn't even go to the shootout like you like you swore you would? No, the shootout was always a means to an end and now that uh well once it looked like I was going to lose to Miss Quibbert and noticed my train was being hijacked. I decided to instead stop my train from being hijacked and avoid being shot by Miss Quibbert. Fuck you, yellow belly coward. I've challenged you to a duel

right here and right now on this train. Arnie, get back to shoveling. I'm not- Get back to shoveling. Okay, but we're not gonna go much faster if I'm the only one shovelin' Both of you, both of you are aren'ties Say, give me a train on that too Alright, a little bit better Wait, don't call me, Adrian Alright I'm gonna count to three

And then we're gonna draw This is gonna be it Alright One, wait for my signal Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, signal. To... wait, wait for my signal to start counting? No, to draw. No, I'm gonna count to three and then we draw. Right, you can count to three and then I... I was this part of the shootout because I...

I'll go be honest. I got pretty far in the shootout by being the one who gave the signal while I was also... Drawing my gun. So when the hell does the signal come? If I'm counting to three, why don't you just do the signal? BAM! Ah! Ah!

Ah! That was the signal. Oh wait, Arnie, you sir, no one can hear me. Sorry ma'am, everyone should be off of this train at this point. Who are you? I'm Miss Quibbert and I'm the victor of the shootout. That's right, all I had to do is fire three shots into the sky and I won and I still have two more shots in my blaster and I'm coming aboard this train. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Hands in the air. My legs in the air. If you're a pony. That's right. Move out of my way. This man if your pony doesn't show

We forfeits all you do is fire your gun into nothing Straighten to the dirt you lost Baron. You may have shot me But miss quibbert she won the shootout The rhubarb and the money is hers The rhubarb and the money is mine. What are you doing on here here this train? Well, I want to shoot out and I thought I'd come by and see about my odds on another one. Or... I also have the deed to Portrisha. If you're interested, you can go scoop up the comedy show.

Uh, you know, I think like we're just into different things. Like, I'm not really a comedy. These are your two options. Oh, I see. I kill you or you treat Portrisha with the equality and the wholeness and the changing of heart that you said you were capable of. I am giving you a chance. I am giving you a tomorrow.

I am giving you Christmas day. Or whatever equivalent you have, you know, crumbsmas new-nieve or whatever equivalent you have, you know, crumbsmas new neve or whatever it is here. Yes. I... She doesn't have to be your lover. She doesn't have to be your employee.

She can be your friend. And gosh darn it, I think you could use one. Wow. Wow, I've never... I've never been spoken to that way before. And as I stand here watching this gunman, this outlaw. Don't embarrass yourself by asking me out. I am not interested. What? No, why do you always, you know what? I do not have to be your love interest.

You're always trying to bring it up just so you can shoot it down. I don't appreciate being nagged in this manner. You see more upset than I did. Okay, all right, fuck. Ah! All right, everybody, wait, holy shit, Miss Quiver. I didn't know you were on the train as well. I guess it doesn't matter.

Look, we're getting very close to going fast enough that I'm going to go back to my world. So, look, I'm just going to say right now, if you don't get off this train now, you're going to leave High Flume forever. Arnie, you have to say the opposite of all aboard. No. Think through it.

Think through it. You got this buddy, the parkers. That's really now what I- It's not quite it, not quite it. But you know what I said. I guess it's kind of what I'm feeling in my heart. Like, like I said before and I was honest and I, I know it sounds terrible, but I've just been in high fume too long.

Yeah. Cowboy world stuff. It doesn't sustain itself as long as, as I thought it would. I just need to get out and get back to my world, but a champ. Yeah, I love you, buddy. I love, I love you buddy. I love you buddy. You're my friend and you're my friend. I don't want to make a choice for you

about what kind of world you live in, but if you want to come with me, I'd love for you to come with me. I don't know if I'll be accepted a talking horse. I'm weird for even here. Yeah, it's true. It doesn't really even make sense in this genre. Well hold on, hold on.

Talk me into it. And also, hope, Ulysses. Ulysses, are you okay? What happened to you, man? The bear and he got the best of me. He tricked me. I almost fainted, he talked. I can't go back to Earth with you.

Oh, Ulysses, you fool. Okay, yourself shot. Just right at the end. Yeah, I don't think I'm gonna be on this world or your world much longer. Ulysses, I've got a cold as well. Get it back away, back away. Look, don't get us sick.

Ulysses, I've got some good news for you. I come from a world where medicine is actually pretty good, like a lot better than that so It's very possible if you come with me you can survive this like I'm not making any promises But I want you to live you Lissy's your mother fucker. I get it. No. I got a die here on the world that I know No, you Lissy's looking at my best friend with stars Oh, I thought first that works. Yeah, nice first first. I friend with stars. I thought first that word. First, first, first second. I swear for a cigarette, you see, you're looking at your best friend,

you're talking about me, but you're talking about that. You already cleared the champs your best friend, he's your best friend. I'm just not part of that. That's that's no way. It's like a three way friendship thing. Look, I love you, but the big chill's happening right now. Wait, we got away for the holidays. Look, no, look, Elysees, I love you too, buddy. You're my friend and look, you're, you're slightly less compelling than that wizard guy. I just met a couple of weeks ago, I gotta say,

he's just, he's just, he's just, there's something a little bit more about him that I like, but I, you know, it would be awkward. But I gotta stick with who I got, you know, Elysees. Elysees champ, do you want to come with me? Well, Arnie, I got to say I don't know if I'll be fully accepted and it bums me out to think that I won't see my cousins grow up, jewels and verred those little scamps. We'll hear more about them later, but I've decided I'm going to come with you, Arnie. Best friends till the end. What about you, Mr. Sullivan-Ringoon?

I gave you your options. I could kill you dead right here, or I could do the deed of a lifetime to Portresha. Or, I guess you've got a third option to go back to that magical earth world with Arnie and sit in lines and stand in lines and sit in a car and lines. This is embarrassing. I'm so sorry. I guess I sounded like I was giving like a blanket invitation

to everybody. Oh wait, am I not welcome in your world? I'm not going. Like I didn't divide myself because I have a sense of social decency but I saw, I saw Mr. Solomon Rangoon with his little peeper eyes on thinking, oh, maybe here's another slippery way out. And I said, I'm just going to call it. I'm just going to say that he's thinking about going with you. I don't know. You got to. And which I will, this train's going to go exactly 88.

So I just want to see what his decision is going to try to be. I don't think Solomon Rangon is going to have a decision. Because I think you'd be pretty embarrassed to show up on earth without your pants on. What? No! That's right. He undid the belt buckle and both suspenders and those pants are flying out back of the train.

This is the most embarrassing moment and look everybody saw But no, no I had a third thing besides belt and suspenders and it's cut on my neck Oh, we tripped over his pants and fell out the side of the train Oh, no, it's really choking him while this is all happening. He can't come to my work He's gonna be found Shocking with his pants down. Oh no, that's not good. Not good. Oh, Arnie, real quick. Am I gonna be experimented on or anything like that?

There's a real good. You boys better go. There's only one thing I can do. And that steer this train while you evaporate into the other parallel timeline. Go, eat the portals closing rapidly. And I know all about it. Hey, hey guys, I'm just real quick. Am I still supposed to be shoveling?

Like, I know, Arnie, we've got enough momentum now. Quickly, you and I in misquib, but we must get off the train. Uh, you're Lissie's. Champ, Arnie. Good luck to you back on Earth. And- Look, hey, magic man, do you want to come with me to my world and replace you Lizzie's who's maybe not gonna make it what the fuck I just feel like there's something between us am I fooling myself here like like a friend thing like we connect yeah no I feel no but because I I feel an affinity for you because I already feel an affinity with Arnie but my best friend is a Peril fuels so I'm going to jump off this train with my version of awning and know this when you need us all you have to do is call out and now a new league of awnings across the multiverse shall become the most powerful

force in the universe. Nobody formally invited me anywhere so I feel like let's get off the train on it there goes the weirdest guy I've ever seen all right guys you sure they're gonna be able to save my life on your world I mean I can't like a hundred percent guaranteed I still be able to ride a horse I'm gonna be auspices you're never great at riding a horse. Are you still able to write a horse? No, I mean, that bit of a horse that's out of you from us. Yes. Alright, you've taken us this for our last seven years.

Let's go into the next great adventure. Oh, sparkly. Goodbye, Haftoon. I hope this comedy show is starting soon. I'd really enjoy some laps. Oh, sparks. Oh, more sparks. Even more sparks.

That's on the sparks. Colored sparks. Blue sparks. Pink sparks. Wow, look at all these sparks. And we're through. I always wondered how we had in this podcast. I should have guessed it would be someone saying, and we're through. Let's go to break, Arnie. Let's go to break for good.

Miss Quibbert, Arnie, are you all right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I guess so. Yeah. Oh, what's it like? Miss Quibbert, Arnie, are you alright? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I guess so. Well, oh, what an adventure. We helped an Arnie get home. What an exciting episode. Yeah.

I guess just back to regular life as usual. Well, now that you've defeated the Baron and he's choked himself to death, hanging off the back of a train. Just Donald Duck in it. Y'all know Donald Duck? I do as a matter of fact, I already introduced me to the whole concept. Well, I suppose now you can run your father's business and perhaps since you won the contest,

you can help better the bear and empire and create a more equitable future for everyone, including your sex robots. Absolutely. I've got a lot of great ideas and a lot of great people on my team. And my number one chief of staff is a wonderful comedian and training named Portrisha. So I think some good things are coming. Oh, that's nice. And I'm excited for you to see them. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Well, well, you said we should probably, we got kind of a hike to get back to that tunnel back to nibble bottom. Oh, we could just fly there. Oh, but it'll still probably take us a week. It probably take until the next episode until we get fully get back, right? Oh, yeah, for sure. if that's what you want. Hey, you said or you know seeing someone look a lot like you could shot normal style just Really put things into perspective for me. I love you buddy. I don't look like that guy. Clearly that wasn't me

There's clearly there were obviously a lot of parallels here, but that guy was not me You said or or it promised me something. If and when we finally end our version of this podcast, can we make it better than this? Oh for sure. Oh, absolutely. I mean, this is fun. I do see, like, this thing really exciting, but I was just shoveling a lot and like, we could like do something cooler, like, and maybe get some guest stars or something.

Like John Ham. And who knows if it's truly the end of hello from the Dusty Saloon. For those three are off on an adventure, back on Earth, and perhaps they'll find their way someday back to High Foon. Yeah. Or maybe they're incinerated. I mean, that really seemed like you knew what the fuck he was talking about, am I crazy? Yeah, but I'm sure we won't be here again.

Would you look at that after all my complaining, Cowboy World has come to an end. About five episodes after we lost interest in it. Hey, by that model, even this main broadcast could someday conclude, about 211 episodes ago. User of the Blue and Eulissies D. Lamore were played by Matt Young, which is more surprising that they were both played by the same actor or that were calling them two characters. Never mind that, Champ the Talking Horse was played by Adolfo Refy, straight down the middle, no surprises. Miss Quibbert was played by Sarah Chauke. Check out her

show Marty and Sarah Love Wrestling on the MLW Radio Network. And if you're in Chicago, catch Sarah with the improv group Deep Shwa. Sunday night's 8pm at the annoyance theater. Now the only Chicago comedy theater not run by some kind of financial planning group. Solomon Ragon, the railroad baron, was played by Chris Rathchin. Hello from the Magic Tavan is an independent production made possible by Patreon supporters like Ruler's Tequila, I think I just summoned a patronus. Caitlin Roper, Ruben Wilkinson, Mallory G, Annette Lee, Brooke Mead, Joe Rivera, Ashley Blevins, Kurt his Bostick, Betty, yes that was an exclamation point you heard, and Bobby loves you.

Sounds good Bobby provided Bobby keeps respecting those boundaries. Patreon supporters get an unlimited supply of frozen plain bagels. Wait now the Department of Health shut that down. Patreon supporters get two completely new bonus episodes each month, as well as add free versions of new and old episodes, plus all the previous Magic Taverns spin-offs, like offices and bosses and earth games. To learn more about all the perks of supporting the podcast, visit patreon.com-slash-magic-tavern. A low-from-the-magic-tavern is produced by Arnie Neacamp, Matt Young and Adel Raphaya. Post-production coordination, no we don't know what it means either, let him have it, it makes him happy, I'm talking about Garrett Schultz.

This episode edited by Sage GC. A low from the Magic Tavern logo by Allard Leban. Magic Tavern theme by Andy Poland. Cowboy World version of the theme song, One Sendcent For All, by Eric Chikovar. Excuse me, waiter. Can I do... how is the Bourbon Street chicken and the yeast rolls? You're a horse, so I don't really think we can serve you. I've been told to tell you, I'm two men dressed up for Halloween.

Oh. Let's see, season, I see here the Golden Carom and you have seasoned Pinto beans. Are those, what is the season? Salt. Interesting, okay? Arnie, what are you gonna get? Um, water.

As much water as I could possibly get. Ulysses, do you want anything? Damn water, here's clear as a bell. I'm the next topic talking horse. I can't believe it. I should run, right? Arnie, I should run. Yeah, okay. I should run, right? Already? I should run.

Y'all okay? I'll see you at home. We all three live in an apartment. The hell's a patty, mate. Why do you keep saying that, already? Every time, every five minutes you keep saying that. Sorry, I gotta go. I gotta go. I want the ride to pick horror slurry the real way.