Hello From The Magic Tavern - Season 4, Ep 54 - Jazzhands Visits (w/ Nicole Parker)

Episode Date: December 5, 2022

Traveling storysinger Spiralina Jazzhands has been working on some new material. Also, we're kicking off the Winter Solstice season with Chris-Must wishes.CreditsArnie: Arnie NiekampUsidore: Matt YoungChunt: Adal RifaiSpirulina Jazzhands: Nicole ParkerMysterious Man: Tim SniffenJessica the Tree Wench: Rachel BloomHans Hoffman the Science Mothman: Hank GreenActivia Barleyfoot: Tawny NewsomeProducers: Arnie Niekamp, Matt Young, and Adal RifaiPost-Production Coordination: Garrett SchultzEditor: Stephen DrangerMagic Tavern Logo: Allard LabanTheme Music: Andy PolandClick HERE for tickets for the upcoming live show at Thalia Hall (Chicago, IL) on December 17th.Click HERE for tickets for the upcoming live show at SF Sketchfest (San Francisco, CA) on January 21st.You can support the show directly and receive bonus episodes and rewards by joining our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/magictavern for only $5 per month. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram, and now Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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collide in a game of life and death. Oh, he's awake again. Tim Sniffin, he's awake again. Oh God, I'm still here. Why are you keeping me here? Tim Sniffin is trying to talk to me. Oh, damn it, my communicator's not working. Have I been kidnapped? Why can't I remember how I got here?

Listen, you haven't been kidnapped. You volunteered for this, guess you could call it an experiment. Oh no. I know what this is. This is like flatliners. No, it's not like flatliners. See, look, we even have posted signs that say,

this isn't a flatliners situation. This isn't a flatliners situation. I see that now. Then what did I volunteer for? There's no time. I need to shock you back into the transmission. Shock me? But just to remember that the hello from the Magic Tavern live show in Chicago is next Saturday December 17th the Magic Tavern live show in Chicago is next Saturday December 17th. Guests' air quotes will include Brooke Bright as Flower, Beth Melluski as Claudia the Witch, and a special air quotes, Masters of Mayhem Opening Act, with Chris Rathgin, Sarah Shockey and Kevin Seretta as the Baron, Squibbert and Dripfang.

That Saturday December 17th at Chicago's Talia Hall. Not interested in Chicago in Winter? Have I not sold it enough? There'll be a magic tavern live show at the San Francisco sketchfest on the afternoon of Saturday, January 21st, with special guest Guy Brannum from Talk Show the Game Show, and Bros. The movie that made America say, not quite yet. That Saturday, January 21st at the Brava Theater, as part of the San Francisco sketchfest.

Links for tickets to both live shows in the show notes. With that out of the way, is there any energy left to be entertained, not really, so enjoy the show. Hello from the Magic Tabern! A weekly podcast from the magical land of Foon. I'm your host Arnie Neacamp, the greatest warrior in all of Foon. If you've never listened to the podcast before, this is everything you need to know. Seven and a half years ago I felt through a dimensional portal behind a Burger King in Chicago into the magical, fantastical land of Foon. Luckily I'm still getting a

Wi-Fi signal from the Burger King through the dimensional rift and I use use that to upload a podcast recorded here in the tavern, the strange familiar, in the town and nibble bottom, at the base of the Enable Mountain, in the magical land of food. And it's winter solstice time, which is so delightful, and I am joined as always by my co-host, Chant the Talking Badger. Bing bong or whatever. Ch-Chang. Are you okay?

It's- I would just set the stuff as I beg. It's like- Oh. This is a series of winter solstice episodes. Oh yeah, baby, I guess. Uh-huh. Are you okay, bud? What's going on? Yeah, I'm fine.

Presses face against window. Looks out at the snow. Oh, Chang, are you sad that you can't go out and play. Well, that ends because you can't we talked about this. You can't go out and play until you finish your chores around the tavern. But I want to and also Arnie, it's not really that it's remember Holly Fox who gave me that box. Yeah, the Fox with the box. Yeah, I thought we had something.

It just feels like every time I meet someone and fall in love with them in the first few minutes, I'm always disappointed. What is that? Why is it always happening to me? Hmm, maybe. Yeah, no I got nothing, I don't know. Well that's all right, Arnie.

I think you're the handsomeest boy of all chunt. Really? Yes, I think of all the little boys around, nibble bottom here. You're the handsomeest, don't you agree, Arnie? Ah, sure, I guess. Even with my winter solstice socks pulled all the way up to my thighs.

Oh, yes, I think. I think anyone who makes fun of you is jealous. Even with my runny nose. Even with your runny nose. And when I wipe it, I wipe it upwards into my hair and slicked it back. Fur, I should say. Now that's just straight up nasty. But it makes me look cool. I thought it was the cutest little boy!

Usador, usador. I can't let him outside the tavern like this. If he will see him, he looks like shit right now. I will. I mean, you just gotta encourage him. We have to encourage him. Ony sees something encouraging. Oh, shunt, you're so great.

Somebody you'll find love, really? Eventually. Well, I do want love, but what I also want, what my heart really desires is a dead spider Bingbongun. Oh, if I could just have a dead spider Bingbongun, all my dreams would come true. Arnach, it's a gun to shot dead spiders. What?

Ah, Anni, I explained to him why he can't have the dead spider... A chewing gun. Bing Bong Gun? Yes. You can just call it BB for sure. We've been over this chunt. You'll shoot your flies out. But all these flies are on my snot and my fur.

I want them gone. Hmm. Okay, you know that I think about it. Yeah. That's a bad reason for me not to let you have it because it's what you wanted to do. Please, Ernie, my heart is broken. Please, this will mend it. This will fix everything for sure. This is the last thing I'll ever want. Okay, fine. Look, we'll get back to this Christmas story, but it reminds me, Yusunor. As we're entering Christmas season, I heard that there's some early Christmas wishing going on. Oh, yes, honey. But I have come up with a clever way to answer all of the Christmas wishes for it is my duty to do so since I technically killed the Dark Lord. I am now Chris in must, must do all of the things that people wish for this season during the winter solstice holidays. Yeah big due to the Christmas clause you killed

the old Christmas and so now you are cursed to be Christmas. That's right but what I have done is I have gone to the tiny village inside of my hat where there is another tavern filled with tiny usadors and each one of those usadors goes off and grants one of the wishes and then comes back to return to my hat. Just a small aspect of me that can complete their wish and I can just hang out here and get drunk. Now we've been inside your hat, remember that bar vividly, I still have nightmares. Does each one of the usadors in that bar also have a tiny world in their hat?

And so forth and so on? I mean, I assume so. I mean, we could get 10-12 episodes out of that. Sure, if you want to play all the characters in all 12 of those. Sure, why not? Well, if you so- I think this is a great Christmas plan. It's a great way that you can have all these Christmas wishes be granted and we don't

have to devote a whole episode to it. No good. Well, very well then, move on. Oh, Bob, I'm thinking about about two more minutes to it. Because some of the, look, I have this glowing ball of light that was delivered to the tavern. I think it's called an orb, Ani. How long have you been in food now? It's an orb. It's clearly an orb an orb

Thousand orb spider I could shoot it with my dead spider big bang gun Why is it called a dead spider big bang gun? Why is it called an orb orb? When you why is it called an I don't know why it's called why is it called the sky? Why is it called an orb orb? When you mean why is it called an orb? I don't know why it's called why is it called the sky? Why is it called the ground? Why is it called a river? Anyway, this glowing magical orb says that it contains the Chris must wish of oh the tree wench What's listen? Oh shake it?

It's me the tree wench. I have a Chris must wish that I need fulfilled this Chris must Shake it. Oh, or boy! Well, that's a simple enough one, let me uh... Yeah, which do you consciously pick which one of the use the words you're gonna send out to grant this wish? Well, yes, but of course, for they must be suited to the task! Who could cure the sap of the tree wench. Oh, I have an idea. Yes, I don't remember if we talked to him but I remember him kind of sitting in a quarter. Why should say they do you know about Yusuf 4? It's four little Yusuf 4s in a trench coat. Yes, I know Yusuf 4. And they try and always kind of sneak into shows and whatnot. They

might be good at it. You know, four heads are better than one. Yes, but you must not confuse Yusufora. And they try and always kind of sneak into shows and whatnot. They might be good at it. Four heads are better than one. Yes, but you must not confuse Yusufora with Yusufora. Mm, oh right. The wizard that's a plank of wood. Yeah, also known as Zonenin who plank is us. Sure, of course. That's a mouthful.

Or Yusufora, which is just, you know, a lotion. I mean, it has a lot of wonderful products. It's expensive. It's expensive. Uhhh, Yusufura! Yeah! The four of us is gonna go off and cure the tree witch. Here we go. Get on your trench coat boys.

Get up on my shoulder. No, you get up on my shoulder. No, you get up on my shoulder. Well, I'm sure they'll cure the tree witch's sap in no time. Oh wait, you know, I'm so sorry. We don't have to do this the whole episode, but there is one more or here magical orbit. Looks like it's from Hans Hoffman Science Mothman. Hello, this is Hans Hoffman, the science mothman. I have a single request for Chris. This Chris must season Chris must forgive his enemies, including me. If

I am one of them, I don't even know if he knows who I am. But it seems to me like Chris probably has a not insignificant number of grudges that he holds. But you can't Chris, you cannot quench thirst with saltwater. Chris, you must put your chin up, you must put your shoulders back and walk on Walk on Chris Well, this sounds like a job for hugs the door hugs the door. Oh, yes He's a he's very touchy feeling he asks permission to hug now But once upon a time he just hugged like a fucking madman

Hi, he's bikes But he's very he'll be very Yeah, I got spikes But he's very he'll be very uh caring and and and and open to the moth man And I'm sure that they'll make up in no time Hugs to door Yes, oh, it's so good to see you man. Oh, yeah, Kevin give me a big one. No, no, I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good I'm good. I'm good. Ah, honey. How are you? No, come on. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. Ony. How are you? No, go on. I thought he has a bad, yeah. I thought he has a bad, yeah.

So it's good to see you. Yeah, come on. Come on, guys. Come on, guys. We go way back. Ah, ah, ah. I'm so sorry. This is why we haven't seen you on the podcast before,

because you're a little out of control. Okay, okay. When I gotta go, I got stuff to do. I'm gonna go hug a moth. Bye-bye. I love his catchphrase. I love his catchphrase. I love his catchphrase. Oh, and of course, Huxador not to be confused

with Mugsador who Arnie always calls Jim Carey or but plugsador. Suffix, my toy. Or Pugsador. Or Pugsador breathing problems. Farts all the time. Probably dead by now. Look, I know who lives in my hat.

Use an archaic ass goal. Every time we hear one of those magical orbs, there's that sound that plays at the end. Is that like the sound of the wish being locked in or something? Like, what is that? No, no, fear not. All that sound means is that now that the wish has been cast, I am bound to it, and it must be granted.

Or I'll die. Oh, funer-lighting indoors. Oh, that doesn't seem safe. Wait, that piece of lightning, it illuminated someone right behind you. It looks like a familiar face. I know that face. That's our guest this week. Oh, I'm realizing now, very rude in spending all this time dealing with these orbs instead of just getting to our guests. But anyway, it's our guest, a journeying story singer, Spiralina Jazzhands. Hey, Spiralina! Oh, is that my cue?

Yeah, oh yeah, come up to the table, yeah! Oh yes, please join us here at the table, it's been so long! It has been so long! Well, thank you for having me over here. Gentle minutes so wonderful to see you. It's wonderful to see you. Wonderful to see these. Well, could I procure you a drink here from the tavern? Oh, I would love that, you know, just anything that sparkles. Anything that sparkles, but not your eyes

I wouldn't want to drink my eye Don't touch her own eyes. Tromster. I'll get back in my hat. That's charming. Jesus. Oh I see he thinks it is he thinks it is Spiral and I can I just say that was In fucking credible that you tapped ants all the way over here and did the slits right on the table I will say you don't have to keep doing the splits, you can take a seat. Yeah. Well, I'll tell you right now that I have been on a self-seeking journey and I have found that I contain multitudes. Multitudes. As in I molt now every single year. And in that year there are micromotes and macromotes and I sometimes I do loose feathers and that's new

And I am approaching middle age. I'm almost 500 yikes Here I didn't say it because I wanted you to say anything that was not what I was looking for I don't think you look a day over 200 get the hell out of here Well, no he can stay. Oh, okay. Well, I'll try to come back over here. Hello, huh note to self Tell a fox. I'm gonna serve her her own liquefied eye. No, not that part. Just that she looks younger than she says she is Very important to make the distinction So what I mean is I am pushing the boundaries of what I thought I was capable of doing. And one thing I realized I could do is splits all the time.

And you know, once you start living your authentic life, you just don't want to stop. You know, I took a wonderful trip. I just blew up my life and went to,- I traveled the southern region of Phoon. I'm riding a tome about it at the moment. I'm calling it eat cursed a test. And I'm just sucking the marrow out of this life. Do you know what I mean? I do know what you mean. It's very important to- to grasp on to what is important in this life and to live life towards fullest because we are all but Gossamer abhamed the wind and soon we shall dissipate into nothingness. Ah, that's so beautiful. I would love to turn that into a song.

Oh, that is... As you know, I was a churning right, right? Well, I'm more of a consultant now. Oh, I... But I dabble. So, what is your... what's the nature of the consulting that you do? You consult people on how to make solbs? Yes, pretty much yes. And you know, I've hit on something that I think is rather interesting,

and I think it's, I have to say, I could hear you over my tap dancing, which is something that has developed. That I'm able to sort of have this amazing hearing now that I tap all the time. And I couldn't have but hearing about the orbs and about Christmas and, and, and you know, I do have a venture that I'm exploring because remember if I told you last time, I used to sing, but I kept on missing

all of the exciting events that would happen. So I was just always sort of singing about something I wasn't there for. And then I started being there for all sorts of events, but what happened is I froze. You know how we sort of think, oh, if I'm on a carriage and all of a sudden, it's held up by a bunch of angry wartoads.

Oh, I'm gonna be the first one to jump out there and punch them in their forearms. Well, guess what? You might think that you'd be the person to stand up and do that, but you don't know what's going to happen. It's called a drennaline. And when a drennaline comes, she is a bitch. I'll tell you what. She's a fairy. Not to reference your, I suppose it's a fox that is your lover. Did I get that right, the badger?

Well, more of a, not really a lover, I wish. More of an acquaintance who gave me a weird cursed box. Oh, well, you know, I just meant... Well, you know, I just meant... It wasn't a metaphor. Now, unfortunately. That's unfortunate. Yeah.

Well, anyways, Adelaide sort of a fox, she's a Foxy bitch, because you don't know if she's going to serve you or not. And I found that I was in all of these different places with things happening, and I had to sing songs about what happened, but how, you know, it would be like, um, there I was sitting with the baby and the witch when all of a sudden I saw that the baby fell in the ditch and I did nothing. I just sat. I did nothing. I lay flat and the baby was saved by someone other than me.

You know and I just wasn't getting traction on songs like that because, you know, I sound like a horrible person. Well, who say to me? What a fucking rollercoaster, whatever those are. I still think there's an opportunity here for a wonderful song. And not to tell you how to do your business, but you witnessed a baby being saved. So you could tell you could sing the tale of the hero who saved the baby instead of casting yourself as the person who didn't save the baby. I feel like that's some negative self talk coming out through your music.

Well, do you know what? You are so correct and that is what I discovered on my self journey through the southern region of Phoon. And I sort of found myself and I said, you know, I wanna tell my own story. And I wanna have my own business as it were. So yes, so now I find other people who want to be story singers and I'll sort of help them. Oh, yes, yes.

Yeah, I was gonna say two quick things. One, Arnie, we gotta have this adrenaline, adrenaline, we gotta have her on the show. And two, Spire Lena, I have a song I've been working on. Do you mind if I hired it to consult? Oh, I would be so honored. What is the song? And there's no amount we won't pay. Oh, well, I'm listening. You support? What are you doing? I just want to give away all my money.

It's so confusing that you're rich and your name is you support. Uh, Spirillian, the song is about, um, I have this new weird tick or compulsion to rip off my face all the time. So I have this song. How does it go? It's something along the lines of rip, rip, rip off my face, throw it around all over the place of Bingbong. And that's all I have. Oh, you know what?

I have to say at first, I wasn't hooked. And then you gave me Bing Bong and I was in. Because what you really need is a hook. And Bing Bong is your hook. And so I think from that's from once you have to build out your song. Because you know you want something that's going to be that, that's going to be, and what is it like,

an ear, an ear squid. I don't know what the term is. Something that lives in your ear and you just keep repeating the song inside your head. So that when people are traveling the land, they're thinking, Bing-Bong and they just keep spreading it around, you know? Yes. I think it doesn't even matter what you sing in the verses as long as come right back to Bing-Bong. Wow, good to know, good to know.

Okay. I think you're on the right track. Yes. And I think you've got something, but I do think that we need to know. Okay. I think you're on the right track. Yeah. And I think you've got something, but I do think that we need to work. I'd like to get in there and also see what trauma is making you sing ping pong. I know it's in there.

Yes. Were you thinking even an owl before? Something that lives in your ear? Oh, well, something squiggly that crawls into your ear. Oh, yeah, it's a new squid. A new squid. It's so new. It's so new. Well, one, because it is an squid. Like an ear squid. It's a song.

It's good. Well, one, because it is an actual tiny squid. But it serves almost as a muse where it keeps singing its song inside your head, and then it inks into your ear and the ink travels down into your hand out of your hand and onto paper if you're lucky. Oh, that's wonderful. No, that's right. It's very rare to get the correct ear squid. So let's work together. I will take you on because I like your spirit. Yes.

And I think you have potential. Bing Bong, thank you so much. Arning, Arning, Arning. Yeah, Arning, don't look right now. Don't look under the sun. You just don't have two little owls in his ear. I thought at first I was just like poor grooming on his part, but you're right, there are beaks.

I think he thinks it's a universal experience of like, you know, an ear owl, but I think he's the's a universal experience of like, you know, an ear out, but I think he's the only one I've ever seen with an ear out. Yeah. Well, we should take a quick break. So all of all listeners can feed the owls that live in there ears. Yeah, sure, buddy.

Oh, so Chuck, is this why he's constantly saying his name's all the time? I possibly. Because his owls are in his ear going, whoo, all the time. Oh my God, it says, that's why he's so indignant all the time. When you mention someone, he goes, ooh, it's the owl speaking to him.

This cracks the case that we've been working on for seven fucking years. Well, we're gonna come back with a different Ysador. So, I really in at jazz hands, you end this period of you are writing a lot more songs. I'm sorry, I was below the table in a deep split and I missed that part of what you just said, so hang on a second. Okay. Her feet, it's weird. They weren't kind of out on the floor.

They were up at a 90 degree angle by her head. I've done that before Big bomb. I'm aggressive. Big bomb indeed. See what I mean hearing that back Not I say it all the time, but nobody says it back to me. That is very catchy. Oh just wait to your first concert, baby Nobody says it to you when I say being you say bon, Bing It is a called response that's clearly the student dealing with they'll raise torches What do you say to you? When I say being, you say Bong, Bing. What's he gonna want? What's he gonna want? What's he gonna want? What's he gonna want? What's he gonna want?

He'll just do what I'm dealing with. He'll just do what I'm dealing with. He'll just do what I'm dealing with. He'll just do what I'm dealing with. He'll just do what I'm dealing with. He'll just do what I'm dealing with. He'll just do what I'm dealing with. He'll just do what I'm dealing with.

He'll just do what I'm dealing with. He'll just do what I'm dealing with. He'll just do what I'm dealing with. He'll just do what I'm dealing with. He'll just do what I'm dealing with. He'll just do what I'm dealing with. He'll just do what I'm dealing with. He'll just do what I'm dealing with.

He'll just do what I'm dealing with. He'll just do what I'm dealing with. He'll just do what I'm dealing with. He'll just do what I'm dealing with. He'll just do what I'm dealing with. He'll just do what I'm dealing with. He'll just do what I'm sorry, are you? You were going to ask me a question. Oh, no, I welcome the opportunity because you know I feel like I flowed that question the first time but now you've given me a chance to say It's my really in a chance hands. You have had a career as a singer and you spend a lot of time You know what? I'm not doing any better this time. No, you did great. First of all, thank you for addressing me by my full name Mm-hmm, and I think I know what you're getting at you You want me to talk about myself, right? I do, yeah! Done and done!

Yes, well you know, it is interesting that after this journey where I learned how to eat everything I wanted to, not worry, not worry about what I was going to look like, learned how to curse my enemies, which I've always been afraid to do, and learned to be honest about who I detest. It is fine. And it really set me free. I'm close close three. Did you have a print like at the end of the day, which was your favorite?

Eating, cursing, or detesting? Ugh, it's such a toss-up between eat, curs, and detest. There's a reason why those are the three words in the book. You know, I mean, if there was only one, I would have named it eat. Right? So is there no other words in the book? In the title, my apologies. Good one, I would have named it eight. Right? So is there no other words in the book? In the title, my apologies. Good one, you caught me there.

Don't be shy, look at that. That's a favorite dickless thing. Oh, it's just a jib. It's just a gentle jib, and I'm not afraid of a jib. I have to ask because I have been fooled before. You bought a book and there were no words in it? Yeah, a three-word book. Has anyone else bought this book?

It's a piece of shit. Three word book. It's called three-word book. Yeah, and inside it just says three word book Well, that's person is a charlatan but rich. I wrote an actual book with many many words So yes as I was saying I was and it's very special that I'm here because Usador I do have something I want to talk to you about but yes I was just to give a little more background I was continuing on with the songs,

but as I said before, I kept on running into, either I would find myself just frozen in shock from a red line, as I said, not knowing what to do, watching someone else be the hero, terrible, terrible subject for a song, and I appreciate you saying I could put a different spin on it, but in the moment, trust me, a song is supposed to be about me.

At least that's how I approach music. It has to be about me, and the story should be about me, and somebody. Yeah, you're telling your personal story through music. I understand that. Well, thank you, and I did consider naming my book Me Me Me Me, because if I really have to toss up what I like most best, is me. Wait a minute. Can you say that title again? Me, me, me. Can you sing it? Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, to think about what I call myself. And I have so, I have so far to go. I have so far to go. And sometimes I drink tea and I think about it.

Yes, you're creating the tapestry of your life. It's like a needle pulling thread. Yeah, and I see based on what you've done with my song and based on your talents, I think you go far. Thank you so much that is so kind of you. Ugh, anyways, but let's bring us back to Doe. Oh, there's a deer. Oh, there's a deer. Let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, I would find these situations, myself and these situations, where something happened that was dramatic. Sometimes I was frozen. Sometimes I didn't

want to interfere because it didn't seem right. I'm trying to think about an example because I have so many songs to choose from, but I suppose there was one time when there was a giant and the giant was involved in a domestic dispute with a more normal sized woman. And also, you could just tell they were in a very co-dependent relationship. And I've been doing so much work on myself. So this was one where I went to the Giants Village where there was a festival.

And I saw that there was a fight also. So there they were, the man in woman husband and wife, having the biggest fight that ever wasn't their life. I wanted to help, he was scraping his nails against her face, I said, I must help and get her out of this place. But I didn't want to interfere. Also, it was so festive, and it seemed like if I jumped in I would be Well, I got so I just I sort of just said oh

I don't want it to fear my don't what if I say the wrong thing and I made it about me. I made it about me in the worst way beautiful song, terrible story. Indeed, I know, I know. And so that is why I am leaving that all behind. And what I'd really like to do, and it's so interesting you're talking about Christmas. Christmas, sorry, am I saying it correctly? Christmas, yeah, Christmas.

Christmas, do whatever you say. Christmas, do, right. And I'm fairly new to it because my family didn't celebrate anything. In fact, they celebrated nothing. Like, on the days that nothing happened, that's when we celebrated. Oh. It was very strange. How would you celebrate what the days that nothing would happen?

So all of a sudden, everyone would just be sitting there. You know, my mom would be crying as usual. and my father would just be sitting, you know, probably, oh, whittling or beating one of my brothers. Sure. And you did nothing to stop that, right? Well, no, because yes, because if I did, you know, I worried it would be the wrong thing, you know, you can see a pattern. This was not just happening recently. This was in my own life. I could have made a song about that, you know, I worried it would be the wrong thing. You know, you can see a pattern. This was not just happening recently.

This was in my own life. I could have made a song about that, you know, sort of a, sort of a, a rags-to-riches sort of story, you know. And I didn't. I let that happen, and I have a lot of shame about it. And then, well, weirdly, my father would celebrate that. He'd say, you just did nothing. Let's have a party.

Oh, gosh. It was very dark. It was very dark. It was's have a party. Oh gosh. It was very dark. For a lesson for a child. It was terrible. And I hate to probe further into this story, but is this your stepfather? I feel like last time we talked to you, you talked about how you never really knew your real father, but suspected it was Bruce the Sky God. Yes, well, I think you sort of

peeled back another layer. All right, so congratulations. That is sort of something that I had to do in my head to sort of get past it. I would imagine that my father was Bruce and I have to come clean and say that. I'm not sure that that is quite true. I think it was just something that I liked to imagine.

A lot of times I would have dreams, you know, where I woke up and the world was so colorful and I had friends and weirdly, they looked a lot like my father and my brothers and we went on journeys together. My father was there, my brother was there, my other brother was there. And even if a witch was there,

we banded together and we fought that witch, you know, when I would wake up and I would believe it was so real. And sometimes Bruce was in those dreams and I thought of him as a father figure. And then I would wake up and realize to us but a dream and nothing was going on. And then there was my father having a party for the nothing. It was sad, but, you know, again, it's still good to have dreams. And so I feel like I'm not getting to my point because I have a hard time sometimes with that. But anyways, I started learning about Christmas, and then I realized that this was missing something.

I, we've got the wishes, but I would like to propose this idea, is that we're missing the musical element of Christmas. And I would, I, I have written a few Christmas carorbs, if I could call them those, and they would arrive to you as an orb. And you know what I got to say? I would just love to be a singer that is known all throughout food, but only known for her Christmas car orbs. And it's almost as if she returns back to the Salt's Filled Sea

after Winter Solstice, and she only comes out and people celebrate her for her few Christmas care orbs. Yes, it's like once a year we could carry you to the top of the charts. Now that's correct. That's correct. Number one, again and again, they would scream your name. Can we hear top of the charts, where you would use number one, again and again, and they would scream your name. Can we hear some of the songs?

Well, I, it's not fully written, but I had one specifically for Usador, if I can start with that one. Oh, wonderful, yes. Sorry, so I said, let's hear a song, you said, no, it's not fully written, and then you said, now I'll sing one about Usador. Hey, is that right?

Hey. Here's what it is. I'm nervous, all right. I'm trying, I'm stepping, I'm stepping out again, written and then you said now all sing one about Yusudor. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.

Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.

Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Heyiralina, don't take any of this personally. If you just look at Chuck, he's a fucking mess right now. He's got those weird socks.

He's got boogers all over his face. I still hear a lot of tapping and scratching. I thought that was the tap shoes the whole time. Me, Yusodoa. Spiralina, you gotta get Ignore Yusodoa. He's got fucking house in his ears. I'm not gonna- Well, if I'm supposed to ignore both of them,

what, I'm supposed to just talk only to you? Just lock into me, baby he's got fucking house in his ears. I'm not gonna- Well, if I'm supposed to ignore both of them, what? I'm supposed to just talk only to you. Just lock into me, baby. Just like, just me and you. I'm here for you. I want to hear this song. Oh, I want to hear this song, too. Well, my feet are ugly.

What are you? I- I fell asleep in a bar-senberry patch for three days once when I was a little girl. And as we all know, they age your feet terribly. And so I've had 78- old feats since I was five. That's very sad. So I hope you feel, I hope you're happy with your comment.

How do you make your comment? I'm not, I'm sorry, I apologize. It's fine, it's fine. I am, I am, how would you say, fragile? Is that how you say it, fragile? So, so am I, and I think that's why I act out. I mean, when you just yelled at me and said, I hope you're happy, that reminded me of the story

you told about the witch and your brother and dad dressing up, and it just, I felt wicked, you know, and I think just, you know. I see, I see. I'm not having any sense. Well, and you're right, you know what, my feet are very shriveled. Sometimes they just curl up at the light of day.

And that's good, that's good. The light of day. And like I said, good. That's good. The light of day. And like I said, I am fragile. Is it fragile or frigile? Frigile, I think if you're talking about a leg at Christmas time, it's proud of the region. Oh, sure, which happens all the time. Legs come up all the time.

I have a song about that. But here's the song that I want to sing first. So. Oh, good. Thank you. I don't need a lot for Chris Must. There is just one thing I want. I don't need a bush with candles or something that's oozing pus. Hmm. All I want is someone who will be nice and love me too.

All I want for Chris must is you, Sador. Oh, wow, that's so sweet. But, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and,na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na- He pulls his hook out from under the table and it's dangerous. He pulls his what out? This hook, he's got this giant hook. Shut your mouth. Shut your mouth. There was a hook you. We haven't talked about it on the podcast, but there was this crazy murderer that was going around

nibble bottom with a hook for a hand. And somehow Chant got that hook, and he's has been playing with it. Good lord. Well, I caught the killer. I should have the hook. Why would you want to keep it when there's so much death connected to it? Scared teens

That is important. So only here is an I could think of Yeah, I know what you did last solstice. It's weird. I do know I know what everyone did last solstice Everyone yeah, of course. It's written all over their face. You can tell they were fucking And so they should die Ray a drop of golden sun That's a lovely image. Thank you. Thank you very much So I was clarifying question about this Chris must orb that I love Care orb first. I think it's just a great idea

You know normally after you've already had like a musical career that's maybe sputtered out a little bit That's the time we just release Sure if this song was a literal Christmas wish You saw would someone own you Well, I see if somebody said all I want for Christmas is Yusidor they would they would have you they would own you I think for that one day, yes, I think they would have me, along with them, as a partner, and whatever they wish to accomplish that day.

I wouldn't put it in terms of ownership, per se, as much as it is. A boom, a friendship, a camaraderie. Just like the two of you benefit from my presence, all the time. It's me, you Sadoa. Yes, it's interesting, and you certainly, gentlemen, could have asked me about what it meant to since I wrote it, but I'll just share. But for me, I agree that is what I had in mind. It's not necessarily that I would own him, but more like I just enjoy your company.

And you know what, I'm not a superficial person. I don't need I don't need rich jewels And I don't need gold and I don't need this and that and fancy things This is just about and it doesn't even have to be romantic. I'll tell you what. Oh, that's wonderful Well, I'm happy to grant this wish personally to spend the Christmas day with you But I have many usadors in my hat, for instance, perhaps you want to take advantage of taking usador. Taking usador? I'm going to use it all as a set of skills and I can do anything, and you don't want to cross

me. What the fuck? That usador is like 6'7". Yeah. And also usadors. That usador is already spoken for. He's taken. I'm taking it. Oh.

Well, do you have a use door that's like, oh, I don't know how to describe it. Sort of like romantic, but also funny, you know, like a like rom fun. I don't know what the combo would be, but someone out of a story that's romantic, but also, ha ha ha. Yeah, I think you're talking about Hucidor. Hucidor, Huberdor.

A Hucidor, H-U-G-H, Sidor, sort of a bumbling, charming, almost with a fun accent. Sort of blinks a little too much, but it works for him. Yes, hair always sort of jauntily in the face in the eyes. I'm sorry, I just couldn't help over here that you were talking about me and I was hoping that perhaps I could spend the day with you if you'd with you would find it a passable, I suppose it might not be passable, I've been in a passable as I am.

Oh my gosh, he's so charming. After listening to him, it feels like love, actually, is all around us. Fuck, what was the name, Sally the Fox? I don't, I can't even remember. Fuck me. Holly, Holly. Sure, whatever you say.

And, Spraylina, you also inspired Lena to me. Oh, you said that you served with such great company. And as soon as you said that, I thought Arnie, for me, is such great company. And I have a new song. Arnie, Arnie, baby, Arnie, baby, Arnie, buddy, Arnie, Arnie, Arnie, Arnie, Arnold, Arnold, I guess it's not really a song, it's like no I like it, it's like I'm a talking fast. It's like Arnie, come on over for me.

Yes, yes. We'd be so happy to talk to you. That's it. That's it. Are you coming over for me? Just bring the four of us. Yes. Only the four of us. And then something like, we enjoy you. Siddore, look, Chan, I know how you're feeling. You want someone that asks too much, John, I know how you're feeling. You want someone that asks too much. Someone that podcasts too hard. Yes.

We should go to a break while Arnie thinks of what he wants to say next. Someone to make you feel alive. Someone to ruin, you know, someone to sit in your throne. You know, and ruin your slumber. I love it. I'ma start writing this down. Let's go to break. We'll be right back. So spiraling with jazz hands, you know, Winter Solstice is made up of so many different holidays. You don't maybe you could also do songs about some of the other Winter Solstice holidays. Oh, I didn't realize there were more. Oh yeah.

And speaking of which, by the way, when he said in Spiralina, I just have to say, I think that should be my name. Ooh. I think really that should be my star name for these songs. I really loved it. I don't know if they'll be all right with you if I used it, but I adored it. Oh, I would be honored. I mean, I assume I would no longer have to pay for your consultation from the previous session, but

You don't have to worry about that right now. Okay. Okay. We'll figure it out. Okay. Good. I'm in spirulina. There we go. I'm rolling with it Oh wonderful. Sorry. Let me write down it. I'm gonna write down in spirulina Mark hey Mark, do you come here for a second? Yeah, can I you have a loaf of bread? Can I trade you this? It says in spirulina on this piece of paper. Can I trade you this, it says, Inspire Leon on this piece of paper. Can I trade you this for that piece of bread? Yeah, sure, here's my bread. All right, okay, now you're all set to use

it's in perpetuity forever. Arnie, I don't know if you know that. I don't understand anything that just happened. Arnie, in Fune, if you have an idea, you have to trade with Mark for something. And once you trade Mark for whatever he has, then it's like officially, there's some sort of magic where it just becomes like officially yours,

if that makes sense. But what about that rule where if you can write it down exactly the same, if you can copy it right, then you also can have it. Well, that is a thing, but Arnie, you've tried that time and time again at Nazim, and you've never copied it right? So I think we're past that. I always thought you could just send a bird to yourself.

I think that's the best. These are the conversations that make me feel so old, so out of touch. I'm trying to follow, and I just can't. Well, your awnings, correct. There are many holidays that make up the winter solstice season, all cross-foon. I, I, I, I, some one of the wonderful ones are holidays days and of course Gundersstein and Hagbom which is you know that is an acronym for help a greedy businessman. Their shift must, Chant, you yourself, right shift must, right? One of my favorites, yeah. And of course there's Honda days, there's seasons bleeding,

there's Hanukkah, there's let let's see, what else is there? Phil Patinkini, there's a good one. There's High Five and Mean It Day. Mm-hmm. There's Wysher Mistress, a happy afternoon. Thwinsdays. There's just basically anything you could think of. We celebrate everything during the winter solstice.

Oh, during winter solstice. Yeah, all the straight of assistance day. There's Wink, if you mean it day. There's get on all four Stay there's one saint's day two saints day three saints day four saints day five saints day. I forget how high that goes Fight for your right to potty day. Yeah, I do want me to stop you gentlemen, or should I just let you keep going? Oh Let's keep going Living up Saturday's Oh, let's keep going, please. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh celebrate that on the islands and the southern part of food where people go to vacation and spend money and waste

Waste copious amounts of gold Mm-hmm and they dip things in the gold, right? That's right. So put it on sticks and dip it in the gold and it sounds very gimmicky. Right, right exactly Yeah, I think it's yeah, I think it's all just the hoax. There's heyday, which is a day for horses Heyday is for horses of course. I love I'm forgetting about 50 or 60 other ones. It seems insane that there are so many holidays. Insane. I feel like you're just making them up at this point.

You know, the holiday season can be so exhausting. There are so many of them to celebrate in such a small period of time. I don't even know if that is a good subject for a song for the holidays. About how I'd rather just celebrate none of them? I mean, now you're talking my father's talk. Yeah, maybe that's what happened to him.

Maybe he just got tired of all the, all the drudges and the expectations and, you know, it's a little bit of a tragedy. Oh, I forgot when Bonk's giving. Bonk's giving, yes. And what happens in Bonk's giving? Well, you have a, almost like almost a cloth wrapped around a rock. It's actually a top wrapped around a pumpkin.

It's actually a turkey wrapped around a pumpkin. It's actually a turkey wrapped around a pumpkin. Hmm. Ooh, I said a top, but I like a turkey better. Oh, sorry. Like it's your insides of pumpkin inside, like a game hen or a cornish game hen. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

We met that guy once too. A pumpkin. A pumpkin. Also, hey, I know there's not what you're talking about, but we gotta have pumpkin Duncan on the podcast sometimes Yeah, it's a weird dude. Pump Duncan is a weird guy. What is he? Pumping all the time I don't know. All right, so I like this bonksgiving. It sounds like a sort of very niche thing that I could create a song for and you have to hit You have to hit someone

Walk me through it one more time. I'm so sorry. Well, to be clear, you should never hit someone on a holiday. You're just bonking them. But that's the tradition. That's the tradition. You bonk them on the head. Yeah. It's a gesture of love. That's a love bonk. Oh, love bonk. Okay, baby love.

All right, well, you go ahead. This is, this is, this students become a teacher now. Well, I got me a turkey that says big big as a gourd, and it's a- No, that's nothing. Oh, I sure hope that you don't just run right past me and become much more famous, and someday I end up helping you write your funeral mass while you're sick in bed. I sure hope that doesn't happen, and I'll put the away in an insane asylum. And I'll say, I- I was as good as him!

Well, I do have syphilis. Shake- bringing my hands to the heavens! And there you are playing your piano upside down. As I have to do. Okay, go ahead. Here we go. So this is about it's a lovebong for bongsgiving and what it is about the coins. If you bong someone on the head successfully, they have to give you five gold coin. But if they dodge it, then you have to do a 20 to 30 minute dance for them. So I think I should do this song, and I think if I'm going to try to be the voice of solst, winter solstice, I have to sort of affect a specific sound, something that evokes that sort of, I'm a round of fireplace, I've got a warm drink so something like

all the families gather around everyone is new they're here to join in the love bond everybody cheer Everybody cheer. It's a day of romance. It's a day to join. But I want a love bomb and those five gold coins.

How's that? Does that work? That was incredible. Oh, thank you. Inspiring Lena. It's just so perfect the way you happened to just sing for me. Oh, it's her. So perfectly. Here's it, or did you want to ask her something?

Oh, it's without saying. just, hoping I could spend the Christmas to holiday with, with, with, with, with, with, with, with, with, with, with, with, Oh, that's a little appropriate. Huseador, aren't you the prime ripsters? Oh, well, I just have to tell you, I would absolutely, I would. I would love to spend the holidays with you. I really would, I really will, but we're gonna be friends. Okay, we're not really would, but we're gonna be friends. Okay, we're not gonna have sex. We have to be friends.

I'm not talking to anyone. I don't know what just happened to me. I think I sort of became someone else with us. Sex. You should order a sex. Someone very bouncy and bright who just has stars in her eyes about romance and wants everything on the side.

Don't you see, Inspiralina? You were talking about a Christmas wish to spend the day, but you don't need a Chris Must wish. It seems like the real magic of the holiday season is that you two want to spend the day together. There's no must necessary. So wait, you're saying that it's not too late for me to learn how to have my wish and to be with someone I love? Yeah, it's not too late for me to learn how to, to have my wish and to, and to be with

someone I love. Yeah, it's not too late. If you want to be with him, go to him. I mean, he's here, so you don't have to go to him, but you have to look for a long hallway and avoid security. It's like you, you just right there. I could, I could go somewhere else if it, if it seems like it's helpful for me to run to.

No, no, no, it's fine. I mean, it's true. I am just a traveling Story song or just standing in front of a usador just asking him to grant my my wish But usador your wish is Granted It was usador you granted my wish. That's amazing. You see what he did there usually doesn't grant a wish And I thought he'd always die on that hill. Oh That's beautiful

Hi, I'm Tusa to out. Hey Arnie. Yeah, I really enjoyed what you said about it's never too late and Just very quickly in the last minute here I don't know if you noticed but I Midded and sewed you together this shirt. It says love bonk and it's a turkey inside of a pumpkin Would you mind wearing it? Is this for me? No, sorry, this is for Arnie. Okay, sorry, never mind.

Oh, I can duplicate it. You're a dead man. I can duplicate it and make one for everyone. Bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, Oh! Oh, it's cross-bedo. Oh, this is too big for me. I'm so, I'm tinier than that.

Okay, B. We can make you a smaller one if you really want. No, it's no big deal. I like to feel like the swimming in it. Like, it's, maybe I'll pretend that it's some, you know, it's huge and I borrowed it. Ernie, you didn't, sorry, sorry everyone, sorry everyone. Ernie, you didn't, you didn't answer my question. We were the shirt. Oh no, I'm so sorry. I was so distracted by this.

It says love bomb And it's a turkey inside of a pumpkin I'm sorry. I'm just so distracted by this almost love connection. It's going on with these two Yeah, sometimes they just can't see what's right in front of their faces. No, we're weird We all see we all see that yeah, I can see that too. It's like you you mean computes is like it's right there But just reach out and grab it, you know It's so sorry. Did you want to wear this shirt or there's a lot of snot on it? There's that I mean I love it

Yeah Well I'm used to it. I'm used to it all Yes, this has been amazing and I do feel a connection with you. I just, I don't know, something about me wants to just instead. I don't know where this is coming from, but I have this feeling, and I think I'm going to act on it. I'm going to just leave, and I'm going to go meet someone else who is terrible for me. And I think what I'll do is probably just spend some time with him and try to sort of recreate

the same several jokes that we created here, you know, and when he doesn't do that, you know, and he doesn't like to play the game where we pretend we know what the other strangers were watching are talking about and he's just such a dud. Yeah. I think I need to go do that first. Yeah. Just find out if you're right for me, you, you said that is mark get out of the hall mark get out of the hallway Sorry, he's been a bit of a hallmark

um, I think that's a great idea. Okay, so I think I'm going to go do that. I think that's healthy But it's been wonderful spending time with you gentlemen. It's been wonderful the spending time with you and I I'm excited to check out your book, you know I love going to the school, taking the test, getting the grades. Eat curse? The test? It comes out in soft back, yeah, next week. Oh, so it's gonna be released in tattoo form?

Correct. By SpyroLena. I mean, by InSpyroLena. Oh? By Spyro the Dragon. You've inspired all of us. Big Bunk. Now, I love Bunk, I don't even love Bunk. dragon you've inspired all of us. Another winter solstice wish has been granted

and I feel like we've really just kicked off the winter solstice season in the best way possible and there's no wish that shall go unfulfilled this season. You said we're... why don't you grant one? Yourself. I mean, all the versions of you and your hats are great. Um, maybe... Why don't... Can you commit yourself to doing this next one? Huh, I don't know.

There's spells and stuff to do. You said you've been a little sad this whole winter soul season so far. Maybe throwing yourself into one Christmas wish is just what you need. All right, all right, fine. Did just this next one, but that's it. Then everyone else has to take care of the rest. Let's see, here's one from, oh, it's our old friend, Activia Barleyfoot.

Hello, this is Activia Barleyfoot. That's right. Yep, that's right. Yep, that's right. Trimble. Trimble it to be a mention of my name. That's right. Oh. Now, I don't usually celebrate Christmas.

But this year, I do have a Winter Soul's This Wish. She doesn't sound happy. That's hard to say. Have you tried that? Winter solstice wish. It's a lot of dussies and shushes in there. Anyway, I did great. Alright. Now, Chris, if you really do exist,

which I don't think you do, you must find and rescue my father, Oatok Barleyfoot. Alright, go! Must find and rescue my father. Oh talk barley All right go what are you doing? Go Right now Oh, can she see? Which was pretty recorded

How did she know what you're doing? It's a era. Hope you win to Sos this and other things. Never mind, not happy. No, angry Christmas and soggy winter Sos this. That's what I wish upon you. A soggy winter Sos this. Goodbye. Goodbye.

No, yeah. Why thought we already saved Otock? Didn't we talk about this recently? I could have sworn we saved Otock. Oh, yeah. I thought we already saved Otock. Didn't we talk about this recently? I could have sworn we saved Otock. Oh, fuck, we never free-fuse. We never saved Otock by only fire. We really dropped the pumpkin on that one. That was what?

We were supposed to do that like what, six months ago. We pumped at the Duncan. Or whatever. We pumped at the Duncan. No, no, Arnie, no, hold on. You said it exactly right. We pumped the Duncan. Let's say that a few more times. So really sets in we pumped the Duncan. We pumped the Duncan. We pumped the Duncan. Hey, um, Hey, you said, or yes, can I ask for a Christmas

to wish? Oh, yes, of course. Christmas. Sorry, you said or can wear this love bonk shirt with a turkey inside of a pumpkin if if you want Oh, yes, well, thank you so much. Oh, they are ony. I did as you asked. I I fulfilled one of the wishes Thank you, buddy. Oh, you know what fucking shit what I just realized by Rulina three or four times kept saying she was frozen I wish I would have tugged at that Three or four times, kept saying she was frozen. I wish I would have tugged at that. Tugged at that? Yeah, just kind of scratched at it. You know, followed up on it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know if someone's frozen. Weird way to say that. Chant, you know what, you've been inside long enough. Go outside and play in the snow. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha Hi, ladies. And you, sir, after he's done, I guess we have to go find Otock. Not just find him. We must save him. For now, it is not only is our duty as the greatest hero's a fool, but our duty as Chris of Christmas to make this wish come true.

And I was just wishing for the episode to be over so we all got what we wanted. User to the blue was played by Mat Young. Shunt the talking badger was played by Adolf Refire. Speralina Jazzhands was played by special guest Nicole Parker, who literally shamed me out of a big group improv scene at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival about 15 years ago. But I've put that behind me. Check out the Neighborhood Listen,

the very funny improvised podcast, Nicole Co-host with Paul F. Tomkins. New episodes of the Neighborhood Listen, the very funny improvised podcast Nicole co-host with Paul F. Tomkins. New episodes of the Neighborhood Listen season 4 are available on Stitcher Premium, and if you use the code Neighborhood at Stitcher Premium.com, you can get a free month trial. The Chris Must Wishes were provided by Rachel Bloom as the Tree Wensh, Hank Green as Hans Hoffman, Science Mothman, and Tony Newsome as Activia Barleyfoot. Hello from the Magic Tavern is an independent production made possible by supporters of the Magic Tavern Patreon. People like Jack Gore, Jesse Glassby, Emory, Noah B, Oscar Anderson, Heather, May Boving, Sammy, Decade Penguin, Ryan Fortner, Jenny Owen, Menos, Hattie Vogue

Lander, Heidi Nells, Ashley Tanzillo, Jane Yee, Hondo Montero, Ellie Graham, Flowers numero uno fan Kate from Shelter Island, is that where Leonardo DiCaprio was an inmate the whole time? Okay. And Ryan Seneca. I had something to say about each of those names, but you're not looking at the giant sheet of copy in front of me. Patrons get ad-free versions of new episodes and the entire back catalog, plus at least

two new bonus episodes each month. Here's a clip from the most recent bonus episode, a new Girls Night episode with Flower, Momo and GNSA. I did get some of the faculty sometimes to sign my yearbook. If you flip through this, most of them say, um, let's see, who is this? Never seen you before in my life. Why didn't you just stay in the same district? I feel like that would be less expensive.

I think that's fine for us to say, but it's very rude for them to say it. That's true. That's so rude. Yeah, that they should already be like this child is asking me to sign the yearbook and not another child. So maybe I'll just do our solid, you know? Yeah.

Wait, hold on. Flower, is this you? What? You were prom queen? Oh, fuck yeah, I remember this now. Yeah, wait a minute, did we go to the same school as some point? Yeah, guess so. What?

Look, you signed my earbud. Holy shit, I did. I was a professor at the school and also prom queen. You said, fuck you, love flower. I've heard enough, but if you'd like to hear the entire episode and learn more about supporting the show, visit patreon.com slash magic tavern. Wow, there's more stuff about the patreon I have to read? Patreon supporters also get access to the exclusive Hello from the Magic Tavern Discord. And apparently tomorrow December 6th, that 7pm central, there's going to be

a live audio meet and greet on the Discord. Where Arnie, Madden, Adel, and Sir questions and chat with patrons. This allows me plenty of time to get as far away from that moment as possible. Once again, you can find out more at patreon.com slash magic tavern. This concludes the second episode of today's broadcast exclusively about Patreon details. Hello from the Magic Tavern is produced by Arnini Camp at Young and Adel Rafaia, post-production coordination by Garrett Schultz. Yaaah, I feel strange again, but if it's a ticket out of here, check please! Oh what just happened, my head is spinning! This is bad.

You re-immersed again before finishing the credits. The credits? Yes, letting listeners know that this episode was edited by Stefan Drainjert, magic tavern logo by Alan LeBan, theme song by Andy Poet. Plus, you probably should have plugged the live show again. What are you talking about? Is any of that important?

Well, the editing credit is pretty important. Please, just tell me what did I volunteer for. Tim Sniffin, you volunteered to save all life as we know it.