Hello From The Magic Tavern - Season 4, Ep 74 - Jamillious Visits

Episode Date: May 15, 2023

Jamillious the Mauve Wizard stops by eager to see for himself if Usidore is back from the dead.CreditsArnie: Arnie NiekampUsidore: Matt YoungChunt: Adal RifaiJamillious the Mauve: Anthony LeBlancChest Trünkborn: Travis McElroyMysterious Man: Tim SniffenDirector Ward: Shane WilsonTricia: Kate JamesCraig: Ryan DiGiorgiProducers: Arnie Niekamp, Matt Young, and Adal RifaiAssociate Producer: Anna HavermannPost-Production Coordination: Garrett SchultzEditor: Stephen DrangerMagic Tavern Logo: Allard LabanTheme Music: Andy PolandYou can support the show directly and receive bonus episodes and rewards by joining our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/magictavern for only $5 per month. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram, and now Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Since his death in 2009, the world has struggled with how Michael Jackson should be remembered, as the King of Pop, or as a monster. The new podcast Think Twice, Michael Jackson, offers a fresh perspective on the art and the artist, his life, his work, and his legacy. Listen to Think Twice, Michael Jackson, wherever you get your podcasts. Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards, a brilliant scholarship student attending Bishop Gray Academy, the and Add Free on Wondering Plus. Craig, stop banging on the closet door for a second. I got an idea.

Trisha, I know you've been here the whole time, but how great to hear you again. Craig, it is great to be speaking again. And really, isn't it the bravest act for any woman to find their voice and then be willing to- Don't belabor it. Got it. Save it for the Patreon. Okay, so, with Ward barricaded in that storage closet. Good luck getting past this impenetrable wall of curing cups.

Right, with him in there, this may be our chance alone with... Um... Tim Sniffin. Patriotic science volunteer. Ugh, hearing enthusiasm coming from that voice? It's painful, right? Ugh, hearing enthusiasm coming from that voice? It's painful, right? Ugh, it's like fingernails against Paul Wind.

You know, the lack of respect you've shown Director Ward, it's beneath both of you. I expect it more. Oh right, because I guess in your bright-eyed view, we're all equals? Ugh, uh, sure. Craig, did you see that? I looked away for a second to check my favorite Instagram account, sure. Craig, did you see that? I looked away for a second to check my favorite Instagram account, Cats with Jobs, but otherwise yeah, I know I caught it. Okay, I know what to do.

First, damn it, another transmission. Okay, I'm on it. People of Earth, we've been through a lot together and I've never let you down, so as sure as Summer and Chicago won't arrive till Halfway through August and three Marvel movies have been released since I started talking, I am asking you to believe the following podcast is not real. You can do that for me, right? Then sit back and enjoy the show. Hello from the Magic Tavern!

A weekly podcast from the magical land of Foon. I'm your host Arjeni Neekamp. If you've never listened to the podcast before, this is everything you need to know. Eight years and two months ago, I fell through a dimensional portal behind a Burger King in Chicago into the magical, fantastical land of foon. Luckily, I'm still receiving a Wi-Fi signal from the Burger King through the dimensional rift, and I used that to upload a podcast recorded here in the tavern, the strange familiar, in the town of nibibblebottom, at the base of the innemable mountain in the magical land of Foon.

And I'm joined, as always, by my co-host, Chant the Talking Banger. Awwww, yeah, baby! You do seem to be in a better mood than last week, Chanty. Yes, uh, Tisapiti, my uncle died, but Arnie, I have. Ooh, I got something behind my back, do you wanna see what it is? Mm. Sure. Why not?

I have presents, one for you, one for me, one for you, Sador, let me open up the box here, so you can put it in the box. Yeah, one for yourself. Well, yes, always get a present for yourself. What they are, everybody open it. Arnie, seeing if you have any trouble with paper, let me just...

No. These are very rare. Father of Pearl. You don't see a lot of Father of Pearl. No. Friendship. You know, people don't talk enough about the Father of Pearl. Okay, already, don't die on this hill. It's all about the Mother of Pearl.

This is Father of Pearl, and these are friendship bracelets. Enchanted friendship bracelets. When we put them on, everybody put them on. We will feel like, look, I did this pain. But what? We will feel each other's pain. Oh shit, I said before I put it on, but I was actively putting it on while I said that.

Yeah, I noticed that, sorry. Are we gonna feel all of each other's pain? Like, is it physical? Is it emotional pain? I think it's just physical. Although I am feeling a little annoyed, huh? Well, if it was emotional pain, I would destroy both. How's that? I am a rolicant turmoil of emotion,

a nail-ending storm whose eye knows no rest. Oh, you said, are you feeling how exhausted I'm feeling by you right now? Yeah, I feel that a little bit. A little bit. But I thought this way we just kind of get to, you know, have a shared experience, get to see where each other's coming from. Okay. We should test it out. Oh, oh, right in the nose.

Oh. Oh yeah, I felt that. Oh. Okay. Let me, you know, we haven't used this in a while. Let me try out this pain box for my hand in Why do I keep that thing and here let me pick up this piece of lumber and all swing around and you guys try to avoid it Wait, but you hit that other person. Wait.

Hey, come on, nah, come on. What are you doing? No, kiddo. Hold on, Chun, you got, you got kiddo, one of those bracelets. I already, you said he was one of the most beloved Patrons of the bar. Yeah, I mean, we haven't gotten any emails about kiddo yet. But, I'm not a patron, I'm a work, I work here. Yeah, one of the most beloved members of the staff here

Yeah, I'm a bat. I got a dandelion for a hat. That's right. Of course, look obviously we know that for a bat you've got a dandelion for a hat. Arnie can I just say can I complain for me? I get the kiddles like lovable, but have a fish stick is just describing himself. Mm-hmm. It wears thin. And it always rhymes too. Like how he's got. I got two yellow shoes,

and I'm here to share the news. Oh! Okay, kiddo, what's the news? Yeah, what's the news, kiddo? What is it now? Oh, there's his catchphrase. But let's not let that distract from how good the rhyme was. It was a good rhyme.

Oh, let me hear it an easy one, but it was still good. I wear an amulet. And I'm done. Oh wait, guys, I don't know if you all know this about kiddo. If kiddo doesn't rhyme, kiddo dies. And I'm... Oh shit, amulet. Amulet, what rhymes with amulet?

Quick, I gotta take a big shit. I gotta take a big shit. Okay, see, for once I saved one of your friends, Chut and set of accidentally killing them, but at what cost, Arnie, at what cost? I don't know, I accidentally made it canonical. The kill has to take a big shit. The loved...

The loved character kid. Not gonna be beloved anymore when he blows up the fucking bathroom over there. Anyway. Alright, thanks, kiddle. They didn't really even take our order or anything. I am also joined by my other co-host, Kiddle. Wait, what?

Hey, guys! Hey, Kudal. Wait what? Hey guys! Hey, you're back. Yes, nice to be on the pack, Kest and... Anda! You gotta take a shit fast. I gotta take a shit fast. Ah, sure! And I'm also joined by my other co-host,

Yusur or the Wizard. I am Yusur or Wizard of the 12th Realm of Ephesius, Master of Light and Shadow, Minifulator of Magical Lightstivour of Chaos, Champion of the Great Holes of Turokus, the elves Numiya Sviyanga. Gotta take a shit fast? Already what's going on buddy, are you okay? I don't know. The word fast just rhymes.

Yeah but shit? Gotta take a big shit, got the shit fast. So dangerous that the extra memory leave your body at set. It's not a delivery. There's a lot of shit in the air. Okay, I think I know what's going on. We've had the last couple of weeks,

we've had a lot of mozzarella ones. And I think maybe all that cheese is starting to compact in our stomach, okay? So maybe we should ease off the cheese as as Kettle would say as he could it would rhyme. Yeah, I Like cheese though. Oh, should we get a big public service scroll up on the wall here with Kettle just saying ease off the cheese? Oh, I think yeah, that's kind of cute. And he can be shrugging and then with a big smile. Yeah, that's big done. But then we'll have to cover up his previous poster that says reading his cool stay in school.

Yeah, that one rhymes too. Man, I gotta say, Kittle sends a lot of good messages. Yeah, I think he's a positive influence on our youth. I don't do drugs, I'm a bat who eats bugs. Here's the thing. I love Kittle. I love Kittle. But his popularity has come on really fast. Like he's sort of... Marty, what are you talking about? I feel like he's always been around.

Panic? Am I crazy? Yeah, I think he escaped with us from the million-minitory, didn't he? Back in season two? Maybe. Maybe he's just we don't talk about him as much. Maybe he's just kind of is broken through recently, but he's kind of always been working. You just, you think it's an overnight sensation, but he's always been working. I think this is a chess trunk board situation. I don't think so. I think Kettle's been here the whole time.

I specifically remember season one towards the end. I remember he had that great catchphrase which dates him because he said we almost defeated the dark Ward and holy crap on foe is old which was like a half rhyme. Yeah, he had the time he must have been forced or any that was eight years ago seven years ago. Also, I want to say something you said or said chest drunk born if you're here and you're alive and you're in the room I haven't been all this time. You have to say something I'm here man. Sorry about that. Uh, yeah, I'm here. I'm always here. Okay This is how we know now we know we know either way From what we did or didn't hear My king on my knees and serve your cheese.

Here you go, on the house and you keep ordering my mozzarella one. Yeah, my favorite, right. Don't be a prick, shut my dick. Hey, hey, you're stepping on flowers territory there. You didn't say stuff like this when you were four years old. At all. Anyway, those people also otalk and Blemish are in the tap, but they're busy.

We don't need to bring them onto the mic this week. I'll fly some new banners and trust me, I have manners. Okay, I'm back. I'm back on board. Look at those, look at that little dandelion hat. Already I assume, because we must have interviewed Kittle, it's 10 times over. So I assume he's not our guest.

Who do we have for our guest today? Well, I'm excited. I had heard a portend that there's a wizard on the way. You heard a portend? Er, I heard a ported. Maybe I'm dumb. What is a portend? A portend is like, you know, it's a thing.

Like a thing that's coming. Right, you sir, you sir, Arnie's portending to know. He's portending to know what it is. I mean, is that a noun? Can you use it like a noun? I don't know all the Funion grammar inside now, but I heard a portend. You've never heard a portend.

I suppose I have. I just never thought about it that way. I was thought about it as an omen, and the omen was portending something. I was thought of it as a verb. Personally, I suppose it can be a noun. Sorry to be a little lizard. Uh-oh.

But I'm here to bring your guest the wizard. Okay, look. Whoa. You can't hide the rhyme when the rhyme is wizard One of the words we use more than any other word, but I look there is a wizard here. Oh Hey, what's up? What's up, y'all? What's going on? What's going on? Holy shit? It's gemelius the mob one of the good wizards Yeah, I'm one of the good ones, you know

JTM, what? No, no, no, no, no. I didn't mean it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no if you haven't had those Great food, but you said oh man. I I came all the way here man because I can't believe My mind got blown. I mean, I'm sorry. I had all ended last time. I saw you. I know I got weird I had a whole moment where like Said you weren't my dad, you know, it's real as weird. Yeah, but well That's all right. These things happen with wizards. We live very long lives and have an upside down. I hate to interrupt, but it's gonna always be awkward

if you say you're not my dad. Is there any circumstance where it's not? Because if someone is your dad and you say you're not my dad, that's weird. But if they're not my dad, that's weird. That's a sad thought. It was a little weird. You can't say even one.

It's saying it casually doesn't help. Yeah, tell Arnie. Yeah, no. Tell Arnie. Yeah, none of you are my dad. And Arnie, I gotta say, first father of Pearl, and now this dead situation, what's going on, buddy? Life has just always happened. I'm a journalist.

It's so good to see you. I'm glad you decided to come and visit and to put, uh, let the bygones be bygones. Yeah. I thought I was gonna chance that to actually talk to you, man. I don't know down here. I heard from other people that you're still alive, and I was like, what? And I was like, I gotta get down there.

I was like, ah, I'm not gonna get. And I was like, I did my own spell and actually like wound up manifesting about, I'll never saw the mountain. But I made sure that I sent a head of message to let you know that was coming You know, so yeah, yeah, kiddo kiddo did I get any messages Hold on does he always have to rhyme because I feel like he wasn't always No, he always yes, or he will I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty sure I think last episode he did not run

Well, even Chabila agreed. Yeah, listen if you ever hear him not rhyming and we miss it email us at magic Dabberton's eyes Look, well, everything slide up until this moment You know It is consistency. Yes, we stand by that this moment. What in the future? You're the only one that they show, provide. No, it is consistency. Yes. And we stand by that.

Speaking of consistency, Jamilius, it's been so long. Do you mind? Am I putting you on the spot if I ask you to introduce yourself? Oh, no. Oh, man. Never is. Now, I love introducing myself. You know, so what was this do?

You know what I mean? Yeah. So, yeah, so I'm, you know, I don't know. I'm a Jemilius Washington, you know, Bring our feast and famine. Master the Great Plantation. Shatter the Trangle Trade Wands. The dwarf knows me as that dude. You know, Elves know me as always holding.

Van Puyes know me as, Bye Queen to me. Now the chief foot know me as Skirk whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop. And the angel's Nomiya is queasy! But I'm always known down far south as boy! So I'm just happy to be here, you know? It is good to see you and I I'm very glad that word has gotten out about my return as it were. I was very disappointed, I must admit, even though we had left on poor terms,

that you didn't come to my funeral. You know, sometimes it's hard to face your fears, you know, whatever you know you've done wrong, you know, sometimes it's hard to face that fact. And I just, to see you, you know, no longer here, you know, I couldn't deal with that. You know, I'll be thinking about it as like, I messed up. I messed up.

I shouldn't have walked out like that. What are you doing? He's the only one who actually treated you well. You know what I mean? He treated me as weighing. You know, I knew that once I learned that you were still alive. I mean, I was like, hey, I gotta find out. Hey, how did he do it?

Of course he did it. I mean, it's just, it's Phil Jacksonius, man. He can do anything. You know what I'm saying, right? Oh, right. So, well, I truly am a great wizard, but even I can't. Well, I guess I have done overcom the true death,

I guess I did that. That was me impossible, man. Yeah. It's like that, it's like, at the moment, you think like there's no way, there's no possible way that a third time somebody can win and it's like, what are you gonna do? And like who's open and it's like,

you're gonna pass this white guy? The white guy's gonna take the shot and he's the one who makes the shot. It's like, oh my God. Oh man. Well, it's funny because I definitely did defeat the Dark Lord and then ascended it but stuck around us a ghost and, um,

I guess I'm back to life. It was dead, though. It was definitely dead for real. So I know that wizards die all the time and they come back, right? Yeah, yeah, that happens. But if you achieve your true purpose, then it's... You're dead for real. It's dead for real. You're done for real. Right, you are sent to the realm of Ephesians as shaft of white light carries your soul

and all your things. Shoot into the sky. Yeah, sometimes if you really cool, you get a second line, like a second shot of light, you know, but that lights more joyous and fun, as well as like brass bands and like a lot of umbrellas and dancing. Ooh, that's very fun. Very fun. Very fun. That's what I would want.

Very nice. But I guess I have to figure out my next purpose or my truer purpose, maybe, because that can't just be here for no reason. So that's why I was wondering, man. I think, did you ever wonder if maybe like, you had like a multi-faceted purpose, you know what I mean? Like, you're just such a cool wizard that they have to give you like multipleeted purpose. You know what I mean? Like, you're just such a cool wizard

that they have to give you multiple levels. You know what I mean? Like, you can just have an ordinary quest. You have a multi-tiered quest. You know what I mean? That's what I thought. Ooh, like a lasagna. Yes.

What's that? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's up to, you know, that lasagna is multi--flavored, you know, it's like you're combining like a fusion of like two different like worlds coming together, you know, it's kind of cool, man. I was sitting meditating on it and I was like, you know what, if it was gonna happen to anybody, it was gonna be my dude, you know what I mean?

As my guy is the guy who for sure has like the ridiculous quest, the quest of all quests, you know what I mean? Yes, yes, yes. Because one thing I've learned is like, all quests, you know what I mean? Yes, yes, yes. Because one thing I've learned is you can put down evil one place, but evil always brings back up, because evil lives in your heart. And the hearts of minds, that is very true. Evil does live in the hearts of sentient beings,

and it can creep up in other unexpected ways. So perhaps I, maybe it's not specifically Dark Lord related, maybe I'm more like just evil. I evil, I, evil, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,. Well, you know, what if the dark Lord is really one, like, tip of the iceberg of the darkness that is really the dark Lord in quotation marks? Oh, that's an interesting take. It's like a triangle, like a triangle offense. Well, in a triangle of sadness. Yes, and we must remember, Jimenez said, your true purpose also is not, is intertwined here and perhaps we can discover the secrets of our purposes by working in time to. Why don't we take a quick break and then when we come back, Jimenez would you remind us what your true purpose is? I love do that.

So your true purpose, Jimenez, remind the listeners so that we can begin to unravel the mysteries that surround both of our existence. Yeah, so my true purpose was to, you know, I was born into this world to make sure that people didn't associate darkness with the dark Lord, you know? This one happens to be dark of color that they're not bad people, you know? And I've been in a lot of my many lives, you know, trying to make sure that I put down

the oppression and that stigma of of darkness. And I gotta say like even though the dark Lord's gone, you know, there's still people that still believe that he's still around, you know what I mean? Like there are people who still believe like, you might say, oh no, I mean, he's the one who did it. He took care of it. You're like, chill out. And I'm like, no, man, like the dark Lord's still here because I see all the debts.

And I mean, there are always, well, like in the deeds of evil people, you know, the things that I do, right? You know, the fact that like there's still people that you see somebody who happens to be dark, you think that they have to be dark, hard-related, you know, and so, I feel like, you know, my fight has just begun, you know what I mean? It's like, it's almost like intensified.

Like the myth of the dark lord is almost worth the dark lord himself, you know what I mean? It's like, it's almost like intensified. Like the myth of the Dark Lord is almost worth the Dark Lord himself, you know what I mean? Yes, and he certainly still has followers. Those, those dastardly villains, like drip fang and baron ragoon, those terrible monstrosities. And certainly they have many followers themselves. And it is imperative that you keep doing your important work. And I'm doing what I can do. Am I learning from the best, you know? And that's the thing that when I learned that you were still alive, I was like,

wow, you know what that means? That what if all wizards have multi-purposes? You know what I mean? What if our fights are really these things that lead us to other things we have to do? You know what I mean? It's like it's almost like you're unlocking another level of true purpose. Whoa, it's like those liquids that clean both wood and glass. What? That type of purpose. That is...

Mm-hmm. Yeah, and then the world's just full of all kinds of dirty surfaces that I get cleaned up. Yeah, you sir, what do you think your other purpose is? I mean, I do have a lot of other interests. I enjoy cooking, I enjoy rocks, I enjoy birds, I wait. Hold on, you think your two purposes, I was brought to this world to destroy the Dark Lord also

to appreciate birds. Hey, you're just having hobbies, dude. If I have many purposes, who says that they're all as high stakes as the other? Some might be a little more straightforward. I mean, perhaps what of my duties is to open up the world of flavor to those who don't appreciate fine-quizzy. Here we go! High stakes! less than jigs. Oh, he keeps talking about bands he likes. That's where you know, that's kind of going my territory though, you know, no, I'm not going to my feasting,

you know what I mean? But you know, hey, hey, hey, hey. That's a good question. There are only so many wizards. How much purpose overlap is possible? Or do they need to kind of stay separate? I mean, sometimes you overlap. You do team ups.

You know what I mean? You have a joint, you know, the Wizards Council was like the biggest team up ever. You know, it's like bringing together the greatest hits of all Wizards, you know what I mean? Sorry about that, man. But you know what I mean? So you weren't a part of that, right?

No. But my bracelet made me feel that. Ooh, that man. But you know, so you weren't a part of that right? No. Oh, but my bracelet made me feel that. Ooh, that sucks. But in the end, you know, you knew that you didn't need a council. You know, man, like you are the wizard among wizards, you know what I mean? He's like a wizard's wizard, you know what I mean? Ah, yeah, I suppose I suppose having defeated the true death I would be the greatest wizard of all time. Wow. Yeah, you know, I'm telling everybody, I'm telling everybody that. I'm gonna walk around everywhere.

I was like, man, you should know as my wizard, man. He is like, he is like, he is like, that's my wizard right there, man. Yeah. Oh, which reminds me, just to take the pressure off me from him. Ah, Ahni is the greatest warrior in all of food. Did you know that? Ah, I happen to be the greatest warrior in all of food now.

I killed Ahni on accident, but still it was quite a feat. And my uncle died. So we all got a lot going on. Yeah. I mean, you've always been the greatest shapeshifter in food as far as I'm concerned. That's very true. What? Thank you so much. Wow, I'm concerned. That's very true. What?

Thank you so much. Wow, I'm beaming with pride. Thank you. Oh, the bad thing. I've been elaborating, always talking about you, man. Oh. That brings up the question that I've never asked. And look, hey, you're always first in my heart.

Oh. Is there a generally recognized greatest shapes shifter in all of them? Well, I've never really seen any shape-shifting competitions happen. You know, all I know is, you know, there happens to be like a tale of a salamander who can also become a dragon and also become a sponge. Oh, you're talking about Dylan. Yeah, yeah. There's this kid Dylan Montgomery. He's just rich, okay? A sponge? Oh, you're talking about Dylan. No, you're talking about Dylan. Yeah, yeah.

There's this kid Dylan Montgomery. He's just rich, okay? Yeah, he can shape shift into a lot, but it's just because his dad's got money. Oh, wow, okay. Yeah, Dylan sucks. He was shapeshift king for a few years, but so there's a king of shapeshifting?

Yeah. Well, there wasn't until building came along and his dad Gold rolled him, but I hate that guy. I hate that guy. Yes, honey. So to answer question. There's no like official ranking of shape shifters like that, but erot Turochala

Now this mug, the Thichladi, the greatest sheepshifter in food! Whoa! Thanks, guys! Although if you turn it on the back, it says, except for Dylan Montgomery. Oh, my spell! What the fuck? Sorry. Whoa, man, that's... that's... that's... that hurts, man. I must have cast the wrong spell.

How did that happen, Adi? That's fine. I'm a subcass the wrong spell. Oh, how did that happen? That's fine. I'll just keep drinking out of my one that says don't talk to me until I've had my shape shift But wait on the back it says unless you're Dylan Montgomery What why would I print that? I didn't answer that one. I think it's it's in my subconscious Well, I think maybe the only way to solve this is the you know challenge Dylan to a duel oh yes shape a ship off a ship shift off a shape off already hand me my ink and scroll sure is that nearby oh I don't know I thought I thought you always had like a bag of holding on you now I'll write it tomorrow. Oh, no, I'll reach out. Dear Dylan Montgomery. No, dear sounds like we're on good terms. Fuck Dylan Montgomery

Or you don't know Dylan doesn't know that that's to him that might be to anybody telling them to fuck Dylan You comma Dylan Montgomery. It's a little a little better. How about this? Spoiler the difference. Fuck you, dearest Dillon Montgomery. Okay, thank you, dearest Dillon Montgomery. I love that. Okay, and see what, and call a little eagle here. Take that away.

Huh, I forgot to write the rest. He's just gonna assume to like come find you. I guess, baby. I guess so. I mean mean if somebody want me a message I said fuck you I'm gonna I'm gonna hunt him down Is this Dylan Montgomery dangerous in any way? Well, I wouldn't give him in the back alley, you know, you know People that are rich they do weird stuff man like some I heard I heard that he might be you know dating people to eat them. Oh That's terrible

Or great. What would you say already or great? I see I see what you did there. I Know I die. I look like selfless. I don't know or maybe you just wait to that. I don't know. Oh I see That was a little eagle by the that. Oh, I see. That was a little eagle, by the way. Yeah, it was such a small eagle. Very tiny. I'm just gonna say it. But besides the eagle, you know, like,

it's how you use the eagle, they really count. So, you know what I mean? It's kind of flaps, how it pecs, you know. Does it get it a beak up in there, you know? Wait, are we still talking about it, buddy? I mean, I'm just saying, like, I'm all about that feast. you, friends? I mean. I was saying like, I'm all about that feast, and you know what I mean? Yeah.

Yeah. Ah, yeah. That's my purpose, right? That's my purpose, I'm just saying. You're not my dad. Nah, see, that was awkward. That was just so awkward. I got weird, that was weird.

That was weird. That was weird. Now you said, you're not my daddy. You're like that. That would work. You know, long get the wine. You sort of could one of your multi-purposes be to take care of Arnie? Oh, yeah.

To watch over him, to light his way. That's better true. There's been no other entity in Foon like Arnie. Yeah. It's certainly a singularity, an aberration that he's here at all. So maybe it is fate that I am here to oversee his well-being and ensure that no harm does to befall him. You know what?

But once again, I'm willing to believe it's all about me. Was that mean that when he does a possible old age and you're gone, you see? Well, I mean, if I'm still fighting, you know, the Dark Lord, the entire larger darkness iceberg that's underneath the water, then. But if that's, that's, that's Jimilius' thing. Yeah, but well, his is a little more focused on people's hearts and minds.

He reminds me. He reminds me about like rooting out the, the, the, the, the source of evil. Evil itself, you know, he's, he's trying to get to the root of all evil, you know, I'm, I'm really about the, you know, the, the essence of evil, you know, yes. And on a, you're more of a side purpose. Just like a little side piece.

Like green beans. So you're like a snack. Okay, well, thank you. Ooh, I'll take that. Are you fucking snack? Timurly, can I ask you, this all sort of brings up, you know, when Yusador achieved his true purpose of destroying the Dark Lord. Which I did. Yeah, and we totally happened to have it.

And that's what I point out, though, also one thing that I think is pretty, pretty crazy. Like, did you maybe, I've done with Satchrack? You used to know, did you know, when you had those obsidian weapons that like, there was like something bigger that the fact that we like, we really probably had, we couldn't really die. Did you know that? Did you understand that?

It was, I was sitting, I was sitting, I was thinking like, you know what? Maybe this whole time, he knew that that wasn't really dangerous for us, and he was just trying to make sure that we understood that was like, you know what? Maybe there's whole time he knew that that wasn't really dangerous for us, and he was just trying to make sure that we understood that like to put us together, we'd have that fear in our hearts, weren't really gonna come together.

So maybe the Wizards Council coming together was really about you manipulating us in the best possible way to do exactly what we need to do. You're the best team we could be. That's, yeah, yeah, I definitely was trying to pull the strings behind the curtains to make sure that everyone was, I knew it. All the board, exactly where they needed to be

to achieve your wizard. That's why you my wizard, man, that's why you my wizard. Yeah, I'm doing great. Well, then we'll be back to my question, Jimelius, have you ever thought much about the true death for yourself? I mean, not to be more bitter anything, but you know, with Yusudor achieving his purpose

and leaving Foon, is it cause any reflection for you? How did you feel about the impending closeness of your own true purpose? Yeah, it's something I thought about a lot, man. I mean, rest of the month and at night, but you know what, for me, if I meet my true purpose, that means that the world is a better place. It's worth it.

You know what, what else am I here for? But to make sure that people don't have any kind of prejudice whatsoever, that's like living on forever in the hearts of people, you know, like, you know, maybe one day, you know, You know, some people will choose to, you know, celebrate me, you know, maybe have a day off from work and maybe you know One tiny city might choose not to and be weird about it and like you ridicule and criticize, you know, but you know That's a hot ass city and nobody wants to go there. So who cares about it? So, you know, it's one of those things that, I think about it, but you know what?

You know what Arnie? One thing I have to say about phone is that phone gives and phone gives back. Sometimes you don't understand it when you, do you see the hearts, you see people's faces, when you see them, like just become themselves, you know, be able to look at themselves in the mirror and say, you know what, I'm somebody who cares.

I'm somebody who's somebody. Just because what I look like, does it mean that I have to be judged? And I think that food is the only place where you could shape shift in real life, big of shape shift in your mind. Wow, if I may, to summarize, already is a snack, food is snack. Yeah. His back.

Come on, me. Oh, sorry. Sorry, you know. But Kittle can use that if he's in a pen, right? Yeah, I guess so. Oh, he's slammed the kitchen door. He's really pissed. Well, why don't we take a quick break,

and we'll come right back and keep catching up with Jimi-lyus. Jimi-lyus, I have to ask just because I'm always so curious. Anytime a wizard comes to town, have you learned any new spells? Oh, yeah, actually, I actually did. I learned a really cool spell recently. My whole thing is freestyle sprawls, but I'm also starting to learn other kinds of freestylein that also create spells. So I've been doing a lot of freestyle BMX biking. I've also been doing some real good freestyle swimming as well. And then I also been doing a lot of free style

as far as like just randomly choosing stuff out of my closet and when I put it on, random foods appear. I had to be like, so I might grab a t-shirt and then grab a tie and then all of a sudden, I got a muffin that's also a hot dog. Oh, that sounds delicious. Oh, I was gonna ask about your outfit.

It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's good. Are you shaping into Kiddell? What's happening? No, I'm just saying it's outfit. It's, it's, it's, hey man. I just got, I just got through it together, you know. I put this on and I actually wind up getting a soup that Goes some hot the cold

Like you know like most soup over time. No, but night night like cold. I'm talking like cold I'm talking like I'm talking like cold like you look at that soup and like it'll get you pregnant. Oh Superch fertility soup. Yeah, don't want that, but that's very powerful sounding. I like the soup, I should have a name for it. Wait a second, hold on, you're talking about your soup. I can get people pregnant. Is this a you from this?

What do you mean? No, never know. No, no, it's just a soup and get that kind of no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, eatin' in food or frankly anywhere else because really the bar's pretty low for good food in food. I dare you. It's been dramatically made by you. Would you mind magically conjuring some food for us to eat? I love you, I love you that for you. What are you feeling right now?

What's your taste? Looking for you? Want some sweet, some sour, you look for some spicy. What you into right now? I mean spicy but not too spicy. So mild. Okay. Okay, so mild, okay, something mild.

Arnie, I always say you're a mild and lazy guy. Mm-hmm. Here we go. I'm going through, kick it, you're getting no sense. Going out there with the rock hot co. Gonna get us out with the wild, down fire. And I'm all known, my other don't know that. We just don't jump in the wild, down,'t don't don't don't jump in the long down

Oh So and there's so much of it all over the day. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's it's a it's a it's a bunch of Mal Curry smells delicious too. Yeah, I know I said food come on. Okay, it's magical food. Okay, man, it's cool, it's cool, it's cool. I'll show you how to make some of that. I own the place, it's all right. So yeah, it's a malkuri, you know, it's a food that's like perfect for a palate that might be not used to the spice, but wants to claim that it has had the spice.

You can actually say to your friends, like, hey, I had that curry, man, it was so good. I mean, it was kind of hot, but it was so good. But the people, it's just allowing you to experience that. Now, Jabelice, I have to ask, do you think, because I have my own opinion, but do you think that mild curry has changed the food game for the better or for the worse? Because I feel like since mild curry, a lot of people have been taking a lot outside shots with food.

Well, you know, sometimes, you know, you wanna make sure that you have a good, you know, assortment of things at the table, you know, it's more about what's on the plate around that curry, you know. Yeah. Is that curry something that might have you counted out because it was, you know, it was, you know, out of commission for a while, but you know, it was, you know,

it was 86, but then it comes back, you know, and all of a sudden it's the most important piece of that entire plate. And then that plate is a championship winning plate, you know. Okay. But do you think that Curry could ever make the transition to a different meal? I mean, it's not like it's some kind of crazy steak dinner.

I mean, it's not only bad. I mean, the only thing you really have that can make that transition is steaks, especially if it's a real championship caliber steer, like a bull, like a real boy. That's the kind of stuff that can transcend like that. Like a co-bb. Yeah, like a co-b or an MJB maybe.

Most juicy. Yeah, most juicy. Almost juicy. Yeah, yeah, most juicy steak. We also have some real rod, rod beef rods, you know, really great. Oh man. I'm a real rod man. Yeah, yeah. But you know, my favorite beef really underrated

is the coach beef. Oh, yes. Are you talking about Steve Kirst? Oh, no, I'm talking about the Koo Coach beef. Oh, okay, yeah. I just know Steve Kirst ever since he started making curry, it just feels like it's really excelled. And I think he wasn't great before, I'm just saying.

Yeah, you know, he has that magic touch, you know? Yeah, he's more, we have the tree of great makers of dishes He's able to make makes amazing things actually I knew I knew him actually met him Why did he curse you? No, he didn't think right? No, you know, he actually actually he didn't curse me But I got to experience some of his cursing and it's amazing to see that man like work his magic on people at magic and quotation marks on He's not real magic, you know Is that a real magic in that mean Curse is that a mad here's a magic. I think the same thing are the rivers true to the curse more than Bobby the night

You know Bobby the night once through a horse at me. Whoa Man, that's crazy. He said he was just trying to help me get a ride, but I knew what he was doing Well, you know what Bobby the night he tried to choke me. I tried to choke me out What I'm sorry I didn't tell you about that used to do it But you know I took care of myself, but yeah, he tried to choke me out And I was like nah man, and then I wound up taking that I took everything away from him I get him a straight famine inside of his stomach. If you ever seen food disappear from someone's stomach You know what I mean? It's like worse than taking a taste out of someone's mouth

It's like it's like they don't have anything inside of themselves and their bodies are supposed to eat them Malnourishment is dead Devil is indeed hard Speaking of ony are you enjoying the curry? Did you get to try any yet? It's perfect. That's perfect. Yes, I really do.

You can tell you're crying. I'm crying and it's not from the heat. I'm just crying because it's perfect. Oh, Arnie, I have an idea. How about you keep eating that curry. Have Jumilius make it spicier and spicier. While you continue the interview. Okay.

And maybe I can ask you some interesting questions about yourself, you know, like things that you wouldn't really, you know, reveal, but you're like, how'd you come up with that idea, you know? Okay. You can ask me questions. Okay. Careful. Don't ask me a hot one, because then I might not be able to handle it. So Arnie, when you were in third grade, I heard that you really wanted to be a person

who traveled places and did something important. Now, if you find yourself in a different place, do you feel that you have really reached a mountain top or do you feel you have other places to go? And when you do that, want you to put a little bit more of that curry on there like a little extra. You can. Wow, great, nice, nice mild question. Whoa!

Ah, I know it was mild, but, ooh! Ah! There's a glass of milk. Sorry, I'm just exhausted by the thought of climbing a pinnacle of a mountain. Ah! Ooh!

Ah, I might need to use the restroom. So you said I had one question for you. Now that you're back, you know, and you're here, would you mind meeting my, I met somebody? What? Nice. And I was really, I really wanted to bring them home to be able to meet somebody important to me and now that I have you back, I wanted to see if you would be interested in meeting

them. It's a living tree and they are just the most wonderful being that I've really ever met other than you. And I really wanted them to meet somebody who really meant something to me. Wow, that's beautiful. Congratulations, Mr. Miller. Yes, I was as wonderful news as far as I'm concerned. I would be ecstatic to meet them. Did you bring them with you today?

Or should we make a plan to meet someone else? I think we can make a plan to meet somewhere. You know, something like maybe a, I can make a meal for everybody. We can hang out. We can kind of do that. You know, if you know, if you wanted to bring anybody along as well, you could do that too.

You know, if you want to. Well, I'm not really, you know, things with me and Genelevia sort of are a sour note. You're a store, you know, if you wanted to. Oh, well I'm not really, you know, things with me and Genelevia sort of are a sour note. You store, you store, pst, hey, what, what, what, do you want me to run, excuse myself, put on a wig and come back and pretend to be your date? Oh, pretend to be my date?

Yeah, I was with you up to that point. You're doing the pst thing again. Okay, yeah, sorry, just try to help you out, just right. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Yes, of course course let's make dinner plans. I love it. Okay. Yeah, so I can I ask does Jen leave you know that you're alive again? I mean, I mean if she me let's know and then surely she yeah, she she she knows she knows. Yeah, yeah, she knows That's how I found out. Did she see anything that she? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. She was, she was, oh, she was not happy. Yeah. Yeah, that sounds right. You would think that when, if somebody was alive, the first person I think would go to would be,

the person that they get about. Yeah, yeah, you would think about it. But that was, I think she understood that, like, you know, you were, you know, you were as confused as we all confused. But, you know, which I've been, I've been steeped in study trying to understand exactly what happened, hoping to bring answers before I revealed myself. It's wonderful to see you, but I'd hoped to have a more definitive explanation of what occurred. Before I saw the other wizards, it just clarified, I think. Yeah, I would just say that,

if you show up empty handed, you're gonna get your accent. Okay, you know what I'm saying? You know what I mean. Maybe my true purpose is sweating a lot. Am I missing something? Am I missing something? Am I missing something? Am I missing something? Am I missing something?

Am I missing something? Am I missing something? Am I missing something? Am I missing something? Am I missing something? Am I missing something? Am I missing something? Am I missing something? Am I missing something? Am I missing something? Am I missing something? Am I missing something? It's possible certainly possible she could you expect the more specific answer to that but well

I mean she's got one of them. It's got to be somewhere. Oh guys be cool be cool be cool be cool be cool Hello, Dylan Hey, what's up, man? Not much. I see you're still a little salamander Commander yeah, I am a salamander. Oh, and you're wearing a super expensive tunic. I assume your dad bought you that I don't want to have to come here, but you said fuck you. You know what fuck you, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run come on. What are you gonna serve, huh? Well, barely breaking it. I'm gonna serve Fuck the one thing the one thing I didn't want him to serve wait, you gotta admit you've got to be curious wait Come on stop living me over come on. Okay. All right. I'm not here. Arnie you saw

Does he mean he's serving badgers or he's serving badgers? Oh? I think it's on the main because if he's serving badgers, I think okay. Yep. Oh, yeah No, different things mean different things Arnie. Thank you. That's what I used to do. Jimilius What was that, man? What's that, man? Can you guys like fucking zap this guy or something? Like, you just got his blow shit up. Like, what? Do you just want to zap him?

We can just zap him. We can zap him. Yeah. We can also make it, you know, you can zap him where we can, you know, do something weird with him, you know? Yeah. If I had known you just wanted to zap him, we could have done that right.

Yeah, I should have done that. We really wanted to zap him. Okay, okay. Hey, Dylan, I know you have want to zap him, we could have done that. Yeah, we really want to. They would get to zap him. Okay, okay, okay. Hey Dylan, I know you have money, you have money, but I have two wizards. Take it away boys. Zach, I'm so sorry. I'm kind of bored with the zapping already.

Can you do something weird? Yeah, it was just so weird. That was weird, I thought that was kind of bored with the zapping already. Can you do something weird? Yeah, it was just so weird. That was weird. I thought that was kind of... I think it was a sappin' or they could zip it? No, no, we're gonna... I could watch that for five minutes, I guess, tops. Jimenez, so luck eyes with me.

And we're going to cast a spell that makes him be Ony's dad. Eroth, Tarroth, call Tala. Come on, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarr, Tarroth, Tarr, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarroth, Tarr D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? D-Dad? Wow, wow, it's just really how emo Dylan is. He kind of has his hair parted to our covers one of his eyes. Yeah, which is weird on a salamander.

Yeah, it all made perfect sense. Well, it's kind of weird though, that Dylan won't be able to hold any shapes anymore now. Yeah. You can also tell that his tunic was like pre-ripped, like it came that way. Yeah, you know what I mean? It's one of those things where you know,

it's like, it's like some kind of place you know like you know, fruity and outfit or something like that. You know, it's like everything just like oh come on man like you know I could give you that like ten bucks you know what I mean. Yeah yeah exactly. But you know the Dillon's this world you know sometimes you gotta have them around you know what I mean. Because it really makes you understand what real real is you know, the dill is in this world. You know, sometimes you gotta have them around, you know what I mean? Because it really makes you understand, you have to make drinks you understand what real is, you know? Who's real and who's not? Everybody needs a foil, and Arnie, your foil is foil.

So right now, outside, inside, last. Math. Perhaps here in this moment of teaching Dylan some lesson, giving him his comeuppance. Perhaps our true purposes have been refined even further, that it's not purely evil. It's people who are just kind of being dicks. Yeah. The real evil of the world. Because you can get rid of oppression you see in your face, but somebody just being a dick, it's hard to spot that.

Lesson learned, the phone is burnt. The phone is burnt. I don't get out. Right here. It's always fine to find one for you. It's always fine to find one for you. It's always fine to find one for you. I would agree with the statement Lesson learned except for the fact that we're all still listening to this.

You've been listlessly scrolling through your inbox while half listening to Hello from the Magic Tavern, a fake podcast. Use it or the wizard was played by Matt Young. Chant the Talking Badger was played by Adolf Refyre. Jamilius the Malf was played by Special guest Anthony LeBlanc. If Chess Trunkborne the mimic did actually say anything in this episode, it was Travis McElroy. If he didn't, well, that's okay too. Hello from the Magic Tavern is an independent production, made possible by supporters of the Magic Tavern Patreon. Supporters like Sean Fini, Emily Rosemary, Ben Rabin, Cat Wood, I know we've done

Cat Wood before, clearly you've got Dirt on one of the producers, Cat and I applaud you. Matt Redmond, Dominique Dixon, John Murphy, Peter Huber, Alex Field, Ezra, Luca Hibbert Kerto, Laura LeBez, Stephanie Corrigan, and Jack Watson. Patrons get ad-free episodes, the entire back catalog, including all the previous spin-offs, and at least two new bonus episodes each month. Well, Jack Watson mentioned above only gets one bonus episode a month. I can't explain it, I just feel like you're not quite there yet, Jack. I hope you'll understand.

To learn more about supporting the show, visit patreon.com slash magic tavern. Hello from the Magic Tavern is produced by Arne Meekamp, Matt Young, and Adel Refy. Post-production co-ordination by Garrett Schultz, Associate Producer Anna Hoverman. This episode edited by Stefan Dranger. Hello from the Magic Tavern logo by Allard LeBan. Magic Tavern theme by Andy Poland. I know, I still haven't mastered the impression. Oh, you did fine. I mean, you did your best.

Absolutely a passable effort. Oh, thanks. And we say that as your equals. Right, my equals. Yeah, no. If there's one thing we can all be sure of, it's that the three of us share equal skill, equal ability, and equal status in the world. Interchangeable in every way. I think I might go lie down. Wait, no.

Not just interchangeable. Dare I say, Craig and I might be better than you. Actually, yeah, that sounds right. Elegant, baking, fashion sense, mixology, hair and skin regimen. We come out on top in all of those. Don't do this. There'll be no way to reverse it. Quiet! Are you okay, Tim? You need a second? You should be able to hear how Craig and I are. Better than you and all regards, right? Ugh! Sure, it just seems like that's quite an umbrella statement to just throw out there.

Not if it's true, and it is true, right, Craig? Oh, absolutely. From every unbiased impartial angle, Trisha and I, we're both just a little bit better than you, Tim. Ugh! And more than that. Please, please stop. I... like myself. Well, that's a relief because doing a quick exit poll around the room, I'm not sure who else does. Craig, you've been wearing a delivery person's outfit for half a decade and the only

thing you're currently delivering is resting sidekick face. Welcome back, sir. And you, Trisha. You're the first person I've met with the title Unpaid Intern still makes me feel like I'm coming out on the short side of the bargain. I can't believe it. All it took to break that programming was a threat of us almost feeling good about ourselves. Ugh.

Why are my amulets in Cape So Dusty? How much time has passed? And why isn't the storage room door ajar? That's critical for ventilation around here. We can explain everything, sir, but you're going to have to trust us. Hmm, no. Okay, then just... Shut up and listen. Hey, listen man, I'll never tell, okay? You don't know when old gestures around them are like, yeah, no, I'm, yeah, no, I'm here.

Just waiting to be asked to be on the show again. Just waiting to be asked to be on the show again.