Hello From The Magic Tavern - Season 5, Ep 57 - Poultice Maker (w/ Chris Grace)

Episode Date: May 26, 2025

Prentice Medway, the Poultice Maker, is missing some important ingredients for his magical salves.CreditsArnie: Arnie NiekampChunt: Adal RifaiUsidore: Matt YoungPrentice Medway: Chris GraceMysterious Man: Tim SniffenProducers: Arnie Niekamp, Matt Young, and Adal RifaiAssociate Producer: Anna HavermannPost-Production Coordination: Garrett SchultzEditor: Red KeenerMagic Tavern Logo: Allard LabanTheme Music: Andy PolandNew T-Shirts in the Merch Store!You can support the show directly and receive bonus episodes and rewards by joining our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/magictavern for only $5 per month. Follow us on Bsky, Instagram and YouTube!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Visit BedMGM.com for terms and conditions. 19 plus to wager, Ontario only. Please, gamble responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact I'm John Robbins and joining me on How Do You Coke this week is sociologist, writer and campaigner Professor Jason Arday. Not everybody has the privilege of being dumb in the literal sense and for me it was a privilege because in that paralysis of speech, in that dumbness, in the real sense of the word, I was able to observe human beings and I was able to draw on things that would ultimately

help me throughout my adolescence, my teenage life, my young adult life, and my older adult life. So that's How Do You Cope with me, John Robbins. Find us wherever you get your podcasts. People of Earth, well you're in for a real treat. Oh no, wait, I thought we were skipping this week. Well, sorry, there's a transmission after all. So slip on your getting through this cap, snuggle into your don't think about it too hard slippers, and disappear onto your if it's at this level of quality after ten years, can I really expect any different weighted blanket?

And maybe some bangly bracelets without any subtext just to complete the look. Now, sit back and enjoy the show. Oh guys, I'm sorry, ever since escaping the topless tower, we've been just wandering so much. Yeah, oh boy, my dogs are barking. I need to sit down or lay down or something. And also, why did you shape shift your feet into dogs? I just thought that might get us there quicker, but honestly, it's been a pain in the ass. They are shitting.

You've just been pissing and shitting. Yeah, I am sorry. I am so sorry. Let me just... Something's wrong with those dogs. You got to get those dogs checked out. Okay, I just shaped them back to fit. Oh great.

Quickly, follow me this way. I have found some respite from our long journey and I couldn't be more excited. What the fuck is he talking about? He can be excited about anything. Every five minutes he yells quickly this way. He's been there for a week. Quickly this way.

Yeah, before he was like, quickly this way. Over here. Look at this cool frog. Follow the before he was like, quickly this way! Over here! Look at this cool frog! Follow the light of my staff, even though it's the middle of the day! Okay, okay, and Arnie, when we're sleeping, he goes, quickly, go to bed! And I'm like, I was sleeping, he just woke up. Yeah. Oh wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,

wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, There's a tavern. Oh, a tavern, finally. Is it bad that I never really feel at home

unless we're in a tavern anymore? That's weird. You might have a problem. I might have a problem. Oh, the devoted duck. The devoted duck, I like that. I hope it's not a religious bar. Oh, boy.

I have done it. I have found us this village where we shall gather weapons and strong, sturdy men and women willing to fight the forces of evil. Quickly, let us go forth and start recruiting them right now! Wait a minute, is Ysidor religious? Oh shit, Ysidor actually is religious now that I think about it. Yeah? Is that a problem? I just heard you say you're recruiting men and women to combat evil. It feels like you're starting a church.

I can't start a church. I kneel before the goddesses. Those three beautiful and magnificent creatures who know everything and do everything right. Except for the stuff they do wrong. Guys, I'm already going in the tavern. Oh, right. R.A.'s inside. Let's go.

What? Oh, we shouldn't go to the tavern. We always... Over here! I found us a table. Over here! Alright. For now. But we're being more proactive after this.

I'm not going to sit around in a fucking tavern for ten more years. Being part of being proactive is doing our podcast, Hello from the Magic Tavern, a weekly podcast from the magical land of Foon. Still doing this after 10 years. If you've never listened to the podcast before, this is everything you need to know. 10 years and a couple of months ago I fell through a dimensional portal behind a Burger King in Chicago into the magical fantastical land of Foon. Luckily, I'm still getting a Wi-Fi signal through the dimensional rift and I used that to upload a podcast recorded here in the devoted

duck in the magical land of Foon. And I'm joined. Sorry, I'm out of breath from all that traveling. Oh, I gotcha, I gotcha, I gotcha. As always, by my buddy, my cousin, my best friend, Chunt. Be-bye. Oh, Chunt, could you do both parts of this conversation for me? I'm a little winded.

Yes, yes, yes, yes. How you doing, buddy? Ah, pretty good. Just good? Yeah, just good. That's it? Nothing else? I guess not. We've been with you the whole time. Oh, that's right. We've been wandering. Yeah, that's right, buddy. Your feet still dogs? Nope, I changed them. Okay. And I'm always joined by my other, huh? Exactly. I was just gonna- Oh, yeah, joined by my other co-host, Usadorable? I am Usador, wizard of the 12th realm of a Vesius master of light and shadow Manipulate our magical lights devour of chaos champion of the great halls of Tragas the elves no me is fearing yalla

The dwarves no me is so to no extend cheese and I'm known to have an all these disgusting Yes, they are and I see the Tabangos come with me join me on my quest and we shall defeat evil in all its forms. Everyone's staring at us. And we shall bend the knees of evil. Ugh, he's really walking around the tavern. Ah, ooh, everyone is just staring at- oh, oh, wait a minute. And in that manner, we shall make sure that evil no longer rears its ugly head.

Um, one of the tavern-goers is really really really eye-fucking-ass. They're coming. Okay they're coming this way. Be cool. Everyone be cool. Everyone be cool. Everyone be cool. Hello! Hi! Hey sir. Excuse me. Would you mind being recorded for a podcast? Oh me? Yeah. so sure hi We just talked at this table around these little sticky things Would you mind if we answer some questions about who you are and what you do? I don't have a sticky sticky sticky thing of my own I'm happy to hear here. I'll push this one in front of you. I haven't seen you around here before I'm from another world, but also I just recently escaped from prison. Oh, that explains the smell of...

...gruel on you. Yeah, the smell of gruel. It's been a rough couple... It's been a rough month or so. Are any of you sore by chance? Any...hards or pains in you that might need some healing? Sore. Feet, yeah, our feet are just blistered.

Do you have some kind of phantasma where people can see what I'm holding? No, sorry, this is purely audio. So you got to kind of explain what you're doing. Oh, well, I'll take out this leather That seems silly for me to say this to you. You're looking at me, but I'm holding this leather satchel Oh, thank you. I appreciate it. I have a little bit of a case that opens up here with this brass fitting that I undo. Okay, well, some deliverable details. It's hard to tell exactly what the right amount is. I'm holding it with three of my right hand fingers and four of my left hand fingers. Alright, I think we're getting a little bogged down in the details. People getting the idea?

Well, I'm Prentice Medway and I make poultices. Oh. And I sell them from village to village or inn to inn or pub to pub, tavern to tavern, especially here, the Devoted Duck. A lot of my most regular customers are right here. Oh. Convenient being near, well, let's say a path of great travail near us. Many lost wanderers end up in this very tavern,

quite damaged. Oh, Arnie, Arnie. Is travail the same as travel? I think so, maybe it's a regional thing. Okay, okay. And also now that I'm looking around this tavern, a lot of the clientele is injured here. Fear not, friends.

It's a pretty injured tavern. Fear not, for we have travailed far, and now we come here to defeat evil. Ah, good friends, here, I have brought, oh, I have brought ales for my old friends, but I see we have a new friend here. Hey, Usador, this is our guest, Prentiss Medway. Did I say that correctly? Hello.

That is correct. I noticed you have encouraged a lot of the people in the tavern to get on their knees. I must warn you, many of them will not be able to rise from that position. Oh. Oh, why is that? Are they injured in some way?

They're missing their knee tops. So. Oh no. Many of them. Then we must start a charity to buy new knee tops. Arnie knee tops, that's what we'll call it. Wonderful. I have... You just...

Sorry, what was your name again? My name is Usador, Wizard of the Twelfth Realm of Ephesians, Master of Light and Shadow, Manipulator of Magical Delights, Devourer of Chaos, Champion of the Great Halls of Tarkas, The Hell's Gnome is Fing'n Yarg, The Dwarves Gnome is Zoranuk Sang'jiz, and I am known throughout the East this gas many as may star Have you any pains from your travails? Oh Friend the pain he's got a pain in my ass. All right. Oh, I've got an upholstery for your ass. Oh

Perfect. It fits right up there. Ooh Go ahead on and give it a try. I'm so sorry. I Make so many assumptions being here at the Devoted Duck. Do you know what a poultice is? I feel like it's something I like vaguely know what it is, but I would absolutely love like a definitive description. Well, it's just a mash of herbs or oils or seeds ground up, perhaps with milk or water or some sort of liquid base,

into a bit of a paste that you can then put on the skin, or in your case, I believe you want it up your bum hole? Yeah, I guess so. Yeah. Not against it. It'll go right up there, as long as it's empty. If it's blocked up, it might be difficult

to get the paste up there. But... Okay, that might be a problem. We can work our way in, believe me. I've been elbow-deep in many prints over the years. Oh, hello! Write a book! Ani, if you aren't familiar with poultices, they're sort of a SAV adjacent. Ah, yes. Yes. I mean, of course, I would never say that to someone in the poultice industry. No, no, no, no. I just tried it. There's quite a lot of bad blood between me and the SAV masters.

Oh, is that true? Yes, well, they try to pretend that what they do is a science, when really it's just guesswork. It's all chicanery. Exactly. They're just con men, unlike the poultice makers like me. I also know with poultices, they can, when they first kind of start off, they can look a little awkward, maybe up until the age of like 18 or 19,

and then they turn super hot. Hmm. Not sure I know what you're talking about. We're all trying to piece it together. Something that looks awkward before age 19 and looks hot afterwards. Just a poultice's I know. Poultices. Well, I wasn't trying to will this in any direction.

I was just trying to just kind of band together over, what's the difference between a poultice and say a potion? Oh, a potion you drink. A potion you might pour on a sacred object or a holy site or something like that. A poultice is a mask you put on your skin and you let it rest there for a bit. You must not eat or drink it afterwards.

You must not, so that would be bad. Typically my poultices will soak up many a pain, an ill, a sin, a bad spell. It's not something you want to put in your mouth. No, certainly not. You see, apprentice, my friends here, they are not familiar with your trade, for Arnie comes from another world and... Oh. Chunt. He's just sort of a, you know, local scamp. He's loosey goosey, fun guy, scamp, you know, he just doesn't get into the details like I

get into the details. Ah, I see this Chunt is a bit of a layabout. I wouldn't say that. Chunt is, is why he's very socially adept. He often brokers deals for us and brings new friends into our inner circle. I'd say what he does lack in the learned ways of creating potions and poultices, he makes up for in his social currency. Oh, I would say sometimes he's a layabout sometimes. He's a reverse cowgirl

Interesting and I was thinking of a polter not a polter. I got it wrong. What is a polter? I still don't follow polter Maybe someone who takes polter says is a polter right? Have you ever been on a journey and someone says well that, our destination is this point on the map, and then three days later, you're no closer to that point on the map? That's how I feel about your polter reference. Yeah. And that's how I feel traveling with Ysidor. Oh, man.

What? Like an Amy polter? I'm trying to think. Uh, now Prentice, I already brought my friends here, two hearty strong ales. Would you care to partake of a drink from the bar? It is my treat, I'm glad to offer one to you. I would love, being so generous, I'd love a bit of elderberry spritz. Elderberry spritz, oh well, that sounds wonderful, I'll get you one right away.

Yes, have you had the elderberry spritz here at the Devoted Duck? It's quite delightful. I haven't, I just got an ale, but maybe I should- This is our first time here. Oh, you must, oh you must, let me dash these flagons to the floor. Oh, okay. No, okay. You must get the elderberry spritz, it's elderberries and then it's sprite parts.

It's the bits of sprites that we've captured along the way, a bit of a leg, a bit of a toe. Okay. And they add a bit of fizz to the elderberry. Okay. I've tried the cranberry sprite parts and it kind of grossed me out. Is this similar? Oh no, it's quite quite different from cranberry. How would you describe a cranberry taste? It's kind of bitter, it's a little tart. Tart, yes. Very tart. Well, elderberry is quite different as you pointed out, Brenton. It's about what you said, actually.

Oh, I said it the same? I must confess I actually don't know what a cranberry is. Well, you know, there's a cranberry, then there's a berry, and then there's a cranchild. Oh, yes. Well, that makes sense. We have lineages here. That's where I enjoy an elderberry. Elderberries is a bit of a tribute to your parents.

Wait, people in this tavern have parents and kids and stuff? Well, they did. Many of the parties that come down that path of Great Travail start with a group of, say, 12, 16. They wind up here at the Devoted Duck with only two or three. Some of them have been eaten along the way, sometimes by other party members. Oh my, this path of Travell sounds pretty triatrous. Yes. Well, I shall head to the bar

and I shall return forthwith with four elderberry spritzes. Wonderful. Not a middle-aged spritz, not a tweenberry, elderberry. I'll be right back. I'm sorry about him, he's a lot. Oh, I think he's quite one, he's quite, he's obviously a powerful mage of some sort. What do you call me?

Oh, magic user. I am a wizard. I am no human-born mage who had to learn magic like some sort of dipshit. Like some sort of moron. Oh, okay. I'm sorry. And I know the wizards have taken over

most of Foon recently, so they're not the most popular. Well, I sort of see it as an umbrella term for all spell users, I should say. Well, don't say that to him. Well, that would be like me calling you a sav maker. Do you like that? Well, no, but I wouldn't yell at people I just met for it. I don't think.

You're right. On the other hand, Savmakers and Pultusmakers have not ruined food, have they? So perhaps you've got a point. They're trying to save it, it sounds like. I'm sorry, I'm a bit on edge since all the other wizards went rogue. I'm the only good wizard left.

I'm trying my best, and you are right. Prentice Medway, I owe you an apology. I take bended knee to thee and I shall stand again for my knees are not so damaged But I shall beg thine forgiveness for I have hurt thee in a way no poultice can fix I accept this apology usador and also I must compliment you on your robust knee tops. Oh, thank you. Thank you I just had them installed all the right back with the drinks Prentiss do you have any kind of like bluster poultice like you said before the poultices can like absorb sin But can they take on bluster you want a bit of a personality?

Altering poultice. Yeah. Oh, I would love that Well, let's see here just go into my bag here. I've got a bit of basil, I've got a bit of clover. Well, I could fashion up something. Still doing that weird thing with his fingers where it's like three on the one side and four on the other. Yeah, and four on the other. Yes, as I said before, I was holding the satchel with three. I was describing all the fingers on both hands

just for clarity. Well, how many fingers have you got? Well, I've got five on each hand. Oh, I had no idea. We were in the presence of royalty. My, my, my. Well. Yeah, I just...

Now actually, now that I look around the tavern, a lot of missing fingers in this place. A lot of missing fingers. Yes, this is not common. We heard, I was told you were from another world, Arnie. How many fingers on average do your world mates have? I mean, I guess on average it's ten, but maybe that's not even how averages work. Ten? Where do you come from? A river of gold?

I mean, we're pretty lucky, I suppose. I've never heard such a thing in my whole life. There are some people who are missing fingers, so the average is probably like nine point something. But yeah, there's just a lot of digits. Bizarre. Well, here, sometimes a child might start with ten, but we have a variety of systems here that compensate you for disasters, let's say.

I might put in a bit of gold, a bit of silver. If I find a green bean, which are quite rare around here, I might pay it to a merchant, and then if anything were to happen to my finger, he would actually have to pay me 10 times fold. So I might put in one green bean and get back 10 green beans. So what I might do when I was about eight or 10 years old,

if I really wanted a lot of gold, silver, or green beans, is I might perhaps find a way to lose my fifth finger, let's say, and then I shall call in this claim, and then I shall get my 10 green beans in return. It's very common. I have the four elderberry spritzes for us, but the barkeep would not accept my silver. They wanted green beans?

The same amount of green beans? Silver is a poor substitute for green beans in our town. Oh, okay. Does Arnie Chubb, do you have any green beans on you? No. I like green beans, but I don't have any green beans. Well here, surely he was not asking for a full green bean. Here, here's a bit of a tip.

A tip of... Go back and say, here's a tip of green. Ah, tip of green. And he shall understand what you say. Oh, thank you. Sorry, next round's on me. That's fine. There's a precise exchange rate in our village

between green bean and silver, and tip is one of the units. Of course, you wouldn't know that since you're not around from here, so. Yeah, well, I'm so glad that you're here to help us. We would've maybe embarrassed ourselves or gotten ripped off. Well, I'm glad to meet you, as you are from another world. It might be a potential source for me,

because there are some ingredients I find very hard to discover here, so. Oh, sure. I mean, what do you... I mean, you're helping us. How can we help you? Well, I have a variety of things that I need, and I need to make poultices,

and I'm lacking them at the moment. Ooh, run down the list. You sure as got a bag full of shit. All right. I can sort of shape shift if you need something. All right, now first, I've got chicken eggs, and I've got oil, but chicken eggs and oil can be combined to make a cream.

And sometimes this cream is quite useful in a poultice. So I have nothing potentially that can mix the chicken egg and the oil in such a way that it suspends itself into a cream. I don't know if you know what I'm talking about. Sure. Well, first of all, you got chicken eggs, so you're already way ahead of my world. Oh. Where chicken eggs are, become real rare from everything I've heard.

Also, I'm very sorry to presume that you know what a chicken is. Oh. A chicken here is a bird, often raised for, primarily, honestly, for sustenance. It's really not much of a companion. Ornie, you don't know what chickens are? I mean, I think I do, but you never know. I could be wrong. Hmm.

And remember that every eighth chicken is cursed. Oh. Every eighth chicken? Yes. Yeah, Ornie, haven't you seen when I order chicken tenders at a tavern, I eat seven, toss one, eat seven, toss one, eat seven, toss one? I guess I never noticed that, but yeah.

Oh, that's a very smart practice, especially here when each tender is one full chicken. So, very good ratio there. I wondered why those tenders were so big. It's very, you know what, this chunt is actually, because he's got a lot of what we call road scents. Ooh. I bet you're a good road travel mate.

Ooh, thank you so much. Oh, and he said travel. Ooh, very good. Yes, I said travel is moving from one place to another. Yes, exactly. Prentice, I thank you. The bartender was thrilled that I gave him just the tip. And I wanted to...

That would be a better way to say that. I wanted to pay you all back, so I brought these chicken tenders over. Oh, generous. He did accept some of my gold for that. I didn't eat green beans. So please dig in. I'm sorry, Usador. Could you do me a favor? Of course.

Go back to the bar and get a bit of salt for the rims of these spritzes. It's quite delightful. You shouldn't have to pay much. Take another little bit of green bean. Please don't give this to Okay. He only wants a bit of the essence of the green. He's not giving you much. So just ask him to suck on the tip. I'll just I'll just have him suck on the tip. Okay. Yes, got a better way to say that just a little bit not not much. Ooh salt on the rim. It's like a more glorbrita Miss those things so much. Oh, why don't we take a quick break and

Prentice and then we'll come back and try and help you with this emulsifier, sounds like you're looking for. Right, I try to fashion up this bluster pulses at the same time. We'll be right back. This new year, why not let Audible expand your life by listening? Audible CA contains over 890,000 total titles within

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app or on Spotify or Apple podcasts. So Prentiss-Medway, what got you into poultice making in the first place? That's such an unusual story and people around here are quite tired of me telling it, but we used to have an aged poultice maker here in town, the only one, and I was looking for a trade. And of course I'm named Prentice after my great grandfather Prentice. Has nothing to do with the trade of poultice making or whatever. But Paul the poultice maker was walking around the village saying, I need an apprentice.

And I thought he said, I need a Prentice. And I showed up and said, well I suppose I'm the only one to be hired because in the village there's only me. And he pretty much had no qualifications necessary for this job, so he admitted me. And just scant 11 years later, I was a fully, I don't know how you call it, endorsed poultice maker. And keep in mind that for the first three years of that, I was only allowed to make an egg omelet over and over. Wow. You must be really good at making omelets.

I'm quite good at making omelets for poultice purposes, not for eating purposes. Oh. You might think that the same thing, but an omelet for a poultice must be very thin and wide. It needs to be wrapped around your arm at least 11 times. Oh, wow. 11 times? Yes.

So what's the endorsement process like? Oni, Oni, Oni. What, so sorry, you said it? Why are you asking so manyi, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni,

oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, oni, he's just really relaxed, and he's wearing sunglasses inside. He's seemingly weird. I feel exactly the same. I just put on this poultice that Prentice made for me. Yes, oh, it's a poultice. I feel very cool, very fun. Just careful his wrist there that you don't disturb the poultice. That's where it generally sits.

So it's close to the blood lines. Right, right, right. That's where you gotta put the poultice. What kind of poultice makes somebody a local hippie? Yeah, I didn't have a bluster poultice recipe on me, so I just fashioned what I could. So, I mostly just cloves. I had some clove embers that I dismantled, put together. Yeah, that's that smell. I thought I smelled cloves. Yeah yeah smells like mostly clothes maybe some incense and peppermint yeah it seems seems like a pretty groovy groovy mix and some patchouli as well yeah yeah yeah that makes sense now okay yep I'm just gonna kick back and eat all these chicken tenders are there any side

effects we should be worried about with use it or in this poultice one only one side effect which is that once a year Here in the town and neighboring towns as well. They will distribute Musical instruments it's called few free musical instrument day. Oh shit. And so the side effect is under this poultice He might be compelled to go to a luthier and get a guitar That's the only side effect and you must not let him do this because I am assuming he's not skilled in that art. Oh, if I had my own loot right now, I could really just jam in this place for hours. Yes, and unfortunately, this Poulter does create

a lot of confidence in his own abilities and lyric writing, which will be quite poor, I must say. It seems like he's mumbling potential lyrics under his breath as we speak. Saturday. He just rhymed love with love. Ugh. Yes, there's a lot of life and wife as well. Life.

Very common rhyme. Life. Yes. Ugh. Saturday. Saturday. Saturday. Saturday.

Saturday. Saturday. Saturday. Saturday. Saturday. Saturday. Saturday. Saturday. You can't just keep saying Saturday, that's not music. No? He's saying it as if Saturday is a different word, but it's not. You can't just say it at different levels. Monday, Monday. You see how crazy that sounds? Why are you two so blustery today?

Just be cool. Maybe there's a bluster vacuum that we're trying to fill. Yeah, so I believe I have settled him down, but I might have missed the mark just a bit with this bulldoze. Yeah, I guess so. But, you know, not as much energy in the room as one might say. Prentice, can I ask you a candid question? Of course.

How good are you at your job, would you say? Well, I'm the best in town. I'm also the worst in town. There's just me in town. Yeah, okay, only one. In fact, that's where my family's surname comes from. We are often the most average of all of our trades, and that's why we're called the meddled ways. And then it got shortened over the years to the med ways. We are just average. I'm sure you could find a better poultice maker, but not one near. Anybody want a sack?

What? Anybody want a sack? Do a little hacky sack? Oh, um, What? Maybe I want a sack? Do a little hacky sack? Oh, yeah, okay, sure. Well actually, I'd rather play chicken, chicken, cursed chicken. You know, you sit in a circle, you tap people and you say chicken, chicken, chicken, and then you say cursed chicken and that person gets up and chases you.

Oh, okay. That's a delightful kids game we have around here. I must say, you must not let him kick that little sack. That is not, I don't know where he got that, but that is an ostrich egg. Oh, leathery ostrich egg, and quite valuable. I don't think he should rupture that egg. Well, I wouldn't want to ruin a good egg. I love birds, famously, so here, but I don't need it.

Would you like the ostrich egg, Prentice? You can have it. Oh, sure, I'll put it right in my satchel. A useful ingredient for many poultices. In fact, let me just take it here with my three fingers on my right hand and four on the left. Just describing since you lack a phantasma,

which is quite odd. That's what I've been saying that for 10 years. I like, why don't we show people what we're doing? Why are we just talking? Yes, why don't you just conjure up a phantasma so people can see your faces? I bet people would be surprised to see the look on your faces and how similar you are.

What? Arnie? Arnie, is that true? Because you kept saying we shouldn't use a camera because so many people would comment, ooh, not what I thought you'd look like. Well, sure. I only mean that you have all,

your faces and the hairs on them seem to be on the same clan. Look, yes, we've been traveling together for a long time and so there may be a time when we all looked a lot more different. We have slowly started to look more and more like each other, though. Ah, yes. Well, in my defense, they say that pets start to look like their owners. Yeah, of course I'm gonna take after Arnie a little bit sure

Into a creepy old man and I always was so I'm getting closer to you Sidor. I apologize. This is your pet I'm so sorry. I thought this was your companion as in terms of an equal of yours. I apologize a little both Well, yeah, I'd say Chunt is an equal companion, but also likes to be petted. You know, I don't want to get too heavy here, but he does, you know, he does like petting. He does like heavy petting. Oh. Sorry, I have one more ingredient I am searching for that if any of the three of you have seen this, it would be very helpful for me.

Yeah, of course. I'd love to help. This is a goblin mush egg Oh Goblin mush if you don't know it, maybe I'll describe it is it is a black leathery texture Okay, and then when you pierce the skin of it inside is a green goblin mush so imagine like It's like a sort of a bit of a chalky paste in itself. It's almost a poultice inside of a leather egg.

Wow. A dull green, and then inside there is a little rock in the middle of it that you must not eat, mostly because it's unpalatable. Sure. So the green goblin has a little bit of rock in the middle of it. Mush egg, yes.

Mush egg, green goblin mush egg, okay. Yes, yes. Now Prentice, if I were to leave this goblin mush egg undisturbed, would it hatch into a goblin? What happens to it? I'm not familiar. It depends on if you get a man or a woman egg. Some will hatch into goblins,

and some will make a delightful little tree that will create more goblin mush eggs. Oh, of course. Those are the ones that I've seen. That sounds right. I'm not sure if I've seen a green goblin egg, but I think I recently saw an egg with a hob goblin in it. Is that close enough?

I think that's a similar type, but not as well known and not as well appreciated. Sure. Is my guess. I also saw an egg with some venom inside. Yes. That's very possible. Goblins are some venom inside. Yes. That's very possible. Goblins are quite venomous. Sure.

And if you throw them around too much, there'll be a lot of carnage around as well. Yes, exactly. Just look for a tree doing a dumbass dance down the street, right? Yes. I mean, that sounds like our Winterfest. Ooh, you have a festival. You must stick around for Winter. Yes, Winterfest. Ooh. That's a festival. You must stick around for winter. Yes, winter fest.

Ooh. That's when I need these goblin mush eggs. If you mash them up, they actually make a sort of, and you're going to want to eat it. You're going to want to put stone chips into it and eat it. In fact, some of the villages around here have stopped sourcing these mush eggs for me as poultices. They come down, you go to the inn and the tavern,

and you say, I want a meal. And they say, well, we'll come next to your table and we'll mush up goblin eggs into a bit of a paste for you. Honestly, sort of stealing my idea of poultices. Terrible. But instead, they eat them with stone chips. Is there ever a problem with people licking a poultice off of someone's body if it's delicious? It's definitely a problem for the liquor. I don't suggest either of you lick Usador's wrist for the next 12 hours.

Yeah, it's already very clear we shouldn't be eating these poultices. That's been well established. That's just not the right thing to do. We'll get very sick. We won't feel well. They feel good when applied externally. That is the purpose of a poultice. Yes, and I'll say that the danger is not the ingredients in the poultice,

the danger is in the ill elements that have been soaked up by the poultice. You don't want them. If you were to lick this poultice that's been on Usador for quite some time, you might acquire some of the personality traits of Usador, which I suppose was the thing that you wanted to get rid of in the first place, eh? Oh, absolutely. Ooh, sounds like a spin-off. Yes. I will say, it is... they are delicious.

I mean, you can smell it right now coming off of them. Yeah, it does smell good. Chant, put your tongue back. Your tongue keeps slowly moving towards Ysidor. I just clove you such a great smell. He's telling you not to lick it. I know. I would not lick this unless you want to acquire some of Usador's personality. I think we did that maybe in season two.

Guys, listen, we said we're going to be more proactive, so let's stick to our word. Attention, everyone in the devoted duck, does anyone here know a goblin? Anyone know a goblin or maybe you've seen a goblin egg tree? The mush egg tree? Or does anyone want to play frisbee golf? Come on. I know of a goblin. Oh, oh, tell us friend.

Tell us of this goblin we besieged thee. This guy looks like he's been through a lot. He's like a head and four fingers. Yeah, he doesn't really have a torso or anything. No, I don't. But I have all the green beans you can wish for. I made a casserole. Wha- You had green beans and you ate them? What a luxury.

Yes. To maintain my green complexion, I have one mush egg left, but I've hidden it in these very walls. Tell us, friend, what can we do to convince thee to give us your goblin mush egg? Yeah, is there, could we pay you in green beans or tips or what are, Prentice, what are the other green bean units of pay? A crackle, a spark. Sorry, I'm distracted. I need to send a dove to fetch my cousin Peter

because my cousin Peter, when unusual characters like this show up in the town, he comes and he draws them so that later we can hear about it. So, and he's always conveniently just around whenever gentlemen like this show up. Is Peter the one that's always like parking the carts around town? Yes, Peter the Parker.

Yes. I see. And he's so good at it. We often call him the spectacular Peter the Parker. And sometimes he's just amazing. Yeah, oh, sure. And sometimes he's, I give him 2,099 things and I say, Peter the Parker, 2,099.

And then no one remembers what I'm talking about That's spectacular. I love it. Yes. Well, I mean I can look for this mushy I will be very valuable if I can find this goblin egg. It's quite a challenge this goblin I've never seen this goblin here before. Yes. I'm new in town. Oh Can we could you tell us where in the tavern you know you have to find it? Hmm, okay. All right. Can we get a clue guys? I say we don't I feel like this goblin wants it too much It seems like a lot of work and you're not sure if at the end be worth the payoff Creepy about it. Yeah, I will say Arnie you said you're from another world. You mean in another a distant land

No, a whole other plane of existence. Oh, it's good. You know, it's so hard for you to probably to understand Because you are sort of from this small town and you think of like all of FUN is like all these different dimensions But I am from like a world's beyond worlds but I am from like a worlds beyond worlds, basically. Okay, well I'm just wondering maybe if you've got mush eggs where you come from, maybe you could bring some over the next time you, I assume you just come pop back and forth to visit. Unfortunately, no.

I mean sometimes our listeners will shove things through cracks and dimensions. Have them shove a mush egg through, if you have any there, green mush eggs? I guess we could ask, it's been a while. Last time we had listeners shoving things through the hole, they got annoyed if we didn't mention them on the podcast. Uh, Oni, you've mentioned catberry cream eggs. Are those similar? Well, those are chocolate eggs that have, I don't know what's inside those things.

Are they quite good if you add a bit of salt and lime to them? Ooh, yeah. Or make an omelet out of them? Um, I've never done that, but I do like savory and sweet together, so I could see... I'll just tell you, these mush eggs, you add a bit of salt, a bit of tomato, a bit of onion, a bit of lime, and then you mush it all up, especially next to your table.

It's very delicious. But not the little pebble inside. Oh please don't eat the pebble. And it's a pretty small pebble. Don't eat the rock. Hold on I'm a little slow on the update but I think you know what now that I think about it we may have something on my world. We don't call it a goblin egg we call it an avocado. What a bizarre name. That's a lot of vowels for a word. Yeah, avocado. And it's this precious green, I guess,

egg with a leathery exterior. It's got a stone inside. But it's delicious on the inside. And yeah, you can make guacamole with it. Guacamole. But it's also really expensive. It's really expensive and it makes old conservative people

filled with rage. No, very good. So I imagine you've had, you've eaten one or two in your life, given how expensive they are. I mean, I've probably eaten like a hundred of them in my life. What? Why did you grow up inside a lake of platinum?

Yeah, what is this guy, a billionaire? Did you still want me to stick around? No, no, I think we're done with you. I think we're good. Can someone give me a push or a kick or something? Before you go, look at how many fingers this one has. He's got all 10. Whoa.

Yeah, I got 10 fingers. Oh, your highness, my apologies. Guys, I'm so sorry. I guess I'm blessed with avocados on my world. And I hate to say this. I've eaten hundreds. Wow. But I've probably wasted hundreds more.

What? Like intended to eat them or maybe like ate half of it. And I'm like, I'm going to save this other half. I'm going to properly wrap it. But I never got back to it in time. Why were you so thoughtless about such a precious gift? Think of the poultices you could have made with it. Do you realize that if you'd made a poultice

with some of those avocados, that you could have saved multiple ducks, geese, swans, even goblins. They heal many illnesses. My wife just died, so. All right, buddy. That would have been nice. Okay, now. I think we're all set. I didn't want to bring. All right, buddy. Now it's not bad. Okay, now.

I think we're all set. I didn't wanna bring down the energy. Just give me a kick or something. I'm just, I'm just a head of the... No, no, guys, we should find this guy's egg. He's been through a lot. It's all right. Buddy, why don't you just go over to the bartender?

I was talking to him before. Tell him, I gave him the tip. Tell him you wanna, you're a goblinlin the tip. It's for you now. And I gotta say it a third time. Can someone give me a push or a kick? Here you go. There you go. Chunt, Ahni has wasted all these goblin mush eggs. And I think it's angrying our friend, our new friend Prentiss.

To see such waste, should I use my great magical powers, even though I'm super chill today, to just conjure a bunch of goblin mush eggs here? Um, I guess so. And I don't know with magic, like if you conjure something out of thin air, will that activate the same as the real deal kind of thing? It's exactly the same as the real thing. But the cost that is paid is someone somewhere you don't know dies. Ooh.

You said I don't know them? You don't know them. Yeah, you definitely don't know them. Sorry, I was just counting how many avocados, as you call them, I don't have in my leather satchel. Were you discussing some plans? How many? How many don't you have? I don't have a million.

Oh. How many? Okay, a reverse question. Do you have any? No, I have none. Okay. But I specifically don't have one million. Is that how many you need? No, I need two. Two. Oh, okay.

But I was just counting how, the satchel is quite large. Ah, it's a satchel of moderate holding. Oh Yeah, that's nice sort of sort of like my hat my hat has like infinite space within it infinite What did you come from? Come from beyond the realms the goddesses themselves declare there must be a champion But uh, but you know, it's not a big deal. I think that themselves declare there must be a champion, but you know, it's not a big deal. I think that poultice is wearing off a little bit. Oh, I enjoyed hearing about that.

I wonder if maybe if you wrote some of these thoughts into a journal every day of some sort. Oh. Yes, you should put them in a journal and Ardia's right, the poultice is coming off or something something happened to the poultice. Oh, Sean. Did you lick my poultice? No G-gads, I think he did Sean. You've got poultice all over your face Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Oh, I will. Don't worry. Why don't we take another break and we'll try to wipe Chunt's face off and we'll learn a little bit more about Prentice Medway. And during the break, I'll attempt to conjure two avocados.

Avocados. Hey, I'm Mike Corey, the host of Wondery's podcast Against the Odds. In each episode, we take you to the edge of some of the most incredible adventure and survival stories in history. In our next season, it's 1980, and in the Pacific Northwest, the long dormant volcano Mount St. Helens is showing signs of life. Scientists warn that a big eruption is coming, but a restricted

zone around the mountain is limited by politics. On May 18th, hikers, loggers, reporters, and researchers are caught in the blast zone as the volcano erupts. They find themselves pummeled by a deadly combination of scorching heat, smothering ash, and massive mudslides. The survivors have to find their way to safety before they succumb to their injuries or face another eruption. Follow against the odds on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Binge the entire season ad-free right now

only on Wondery Plus. Start your free trial in the Wondery app, Apple podcasts, or Spotify today. In the early hours of December 4 2024, CEO Brian Thompson stepped out onto the streets of Midtown Manhattan. This assailant pulls out a weapon and starts firing at him. We're talking about the CEO of the biggest private health insurance corporation in the world.

And the suspect he has been identified as Luigi Nicholas Mangione became one of the most divisive figures in modern criminal history was targeted premeditated in Minnesota terror. I'm Jesse Weber host of Luigi produced by law and crime and twist this is more than a true crime investigation we explore a uniquely American moment that could change the country forever.

a uniquely American moment that could change the country forever. He's awoken the people to a true issue. I mean maybe this would lead rich and powerful people to acknowledge the barbaric nature of our health care system. Listen to law and crimes Luigi exclusively on one degree plus enjoying one degree plus in the one degree at Spotify or Apple podcasts. So, Usador, have you had any luck with those avocados? I've been preparing all the components for my spell,

and I've been concentrating for the last five minutes preparing to cast this spell for some very intricate and special spell. It's not just one of those taroth, balah, bala, bala, you know, bullshit spells they usually do. Oh, you put all the magical components for it. Tableside, this is kind of fun. Yeah, I mean, this is a real deal spell. I am pulling avocados out of nothingness into creation.

Can you imagine? Would it help if our listeners at home, if they're at home and they think they maybe have an avocado, if they right now go and try to get close to that avocado in their home? Yes, if everyone listening right now goes and holds the avocado that they have in their house in their hand, and they think about me, and they try to wield that avocado to appear here in the food instead of on dirt. They have to think about you while they do this? They have to think about me.

Okay. Arnie, can I ask you a question on the side, Arnie? Sure, of course, yeah, yeah. Guys, excuse me. I'll be concentrating my spell over there. Yeah, what is it, buddy? I just noticed that your friend, Usador, has assembled components to conjure these goblin mush eggs.

I don't know if you noticed, but on the table there's three goblin mush eggs. I don't know if you noticed, but on the table there's three goblin mush eggs. Oh. So is this a spell that will convert three mush eggs into two? I don't know, he's fucking nuts out, I have no idea. I don't want to, you know, harsh your vibe or whatever,

but I mean, you could just give us the two is what I'm saying. But I mean, unless you think it's important to go through this theatricality. No, no, no, Prentice, if I'm being perfectly honest, Prentice, I've been with this guy for 10 years. I have stopped really paying that close to the attention to what he's doing.

So I need, it's so helpful for me seeing through your eyes, seeing that like, he's already got those there. Yes, I didn't want to step on any dogs. Now, now Chunt, I'm actually gonna need your help during this spell. Yeah, anything you need. Do you need to grab one of these three dragon testicles? No, no, no, no, no, no. Those three dragon testicles should stay there.

But here are three more that I'm gonna need you to hold in your hand. Okay, all right. All right, now he's got six goblin mushings. Yeah, I don't, where are these coming from? And I'm gonna need you to think about me, Chunt. Okay, think about you how, like in a memory or like? Just focus all your energy on Ysador. Okay.

Think Ysador is the greatest wizard who has air-lived. Okay. I'm sorry, Prentiss, I think, the more I think Eucidore is the greatest wizard who has airlift. Okay. I'm sorry, Prentice, I think the more I think about it, the more I think Eucidore is just desperate for attention, and I say that as someone who hosts a podcast. Like, I know what I'm talking about. Mm-hmm. Well, I think we should humor him, I guess,

if that's, I guess so. Quickly, it's time to rejoin the circle so we can cast the spell. Okay. Prentice, Arnie, I need you to rejoin the circle so we can cast the spell. Okay. Prentice, Arnie, I need you to concentrate on what I'm doing, and here, Arnie, you hold these three rocks. Prentice, you hold these three tiny boulders.

Oh. Here, now focus. He sounded like he was making up the word boulder while he was passing a boulder to you. It is time now. We have surrounded ourselves with enough goblin mush eggs to conjure two into existence. Erath trolo calath catalatani.

Whoa. There, I've managed to actually conjure 12. Erath Trullo Calath Cthulhuhthuna! Whoa! There, I've managed to actually conjure twelve! Wow. Oh, these are- these are goblin mushings. I thought these were dragon testicles. And Arnie, these, um, look also like avocados, how- how you describe them. Whoa! And Ysor, you're right! It wasn't some bullshit like, Calathlathlathlathlathlath! It was the spell you just said. I know, I know. Very different than the spells I usually cast, fluff, fluff, fluff. It was the spell you just said. I know, I know. Wow.

Very different than the spells I usually cast, so good on me. Well, Prentice, here you go. Thank you. Are you going to keep the other 10? You can have all 12. You said you needed a million, so. Yes, well, I'm halfway there now.

Yeah, exactly. Arnie, I can fashion a poultice out of this goblin mushek right now. Oh, great. Well, just give me one second. I just need a poultice out of this goblin mush egg right now. Oh, great. Well, just give me one second. I just need a little bit of puddle water, and a little bit of pepper, and a little bit of clove bits. Clove bits.

Let me just scrape, scrape, scrape. Push, push, push. There you go. Could you each put out your hands? I suppose on the palm is better. It's more accessible. There we go. Sure. Just a little dab on each of you. I forgot what this is for.

And Chunt, here's a dab for you. Thank you. There you go. This is a temporary poultice that absolves you of the need for attention. It's quite effective. I'm gonna go outside for a little bit. Yeah, I think we had an email, but listeners, stop emailing us. No longer email us at magictavernatpuppys.supplies. It is a real email address. And also, don't join our Patreon at patreon.com slash magic tavern.

I should be wearing off about now. Oh, excellent. Guys, I'm back! I saw the craziest shit outside What did you see I saw a man who was 20 feet tall and taller than me? Oh He was carrying two big bags Full of gifts. I'd he had these crazy boots and he was a he was kind of a skeleton But with half half his body had flesh. It was amazing fear not Chum. I shall slay this beast And I shall take his gifts and give them to all the good people in this tavern. Aw yeah, be-be, bing-bong. Chunt, please. Look at me, look at me, look at me, look at me, look at me.

Spin, I'm spinning. Spin the Chunt. Arnie, did you have an email to read? Oh, I did, yes. Listeners, we love you so much. You're our best friends in the whole multiverse. And we love it when you email us, and also when you just think about us. Here's an email. The Wisconsin state flag has two white guys and a badger. It looks like a cover for a spinoff podcast

called Hello from the Regular Tavern. And why don't you all gather around my phone to take a look at this image? Wow, Wyse Conson. I've never seen... Wisconsin is like a small principality, like, it's bigger than a town, smaller than anything that matters in... on my world. And they each have flags that no one knows what they are but when you do see them they're all ridiculous. Okay. This one says Wisconsin. Wow they've got a horn of beans right there. They must be quite wealthy. Yeah there is a horn like a cornucopia with some beans and things

flowing out of it. Wait a minute there there is a badger and then there's a guy wearing I mean it's sort of a dark pink, I guess you might call it red, but the other guy's wearing blue. Is this a, this might be us. Yeah, there's like a guy with a blue vest and then there's a firefighter guy maybe with a red pinkish shirt. One eight four eight. What is that?

It's a pickaxe. I don't know, is he a firefighter or is he a miner? 1848. There's like an anchor and some shovels. It's just, it's a mess if I'm being perfectly honest. I don't mean to be rude, but you said that two of them are you, who is the third? Right above the badge there, you see a badger. Oh, is that part of it?

Oh, the creature, yes. Badger, badger, is that part of it? Badger, badger, yeah. That's better than Saturday, Saturday. Arnie, what are we supposed to do with this information? I don't know, I feel like we stumbled upon like a visual puzzle that there's no solution for. Ah, visual puzzle, eh?

Maybe it's a clue to the, oh, okay, I see, so you got a dozen, okay, my bad, my bad. Yeah, we, sorry, we got a lot of these. Yeah, we're good. My wife would've loved you bad. Yeah, we sorry. We got a lot of these. Yeah, we're good. My wife would have loved you three. Yeah. I'm sorry for your loss. Yeah.

Thank you. Could you give me a little kick? Yeah. Well, thank you listener for emailing that in. It is eerily reminiscent of our podcast and thank you for the attention. Yes, thank you. I just wanna jump on what Arnie said. I just want to jump on what Arnie said. I just want to piggyback on what he just said and say,

thank you so much for the attention. Now, Arnie, I've created a little capsule of that same pace for you in case you ever need it. If you ever need a moment when you don't want to be controlled by the need for attention, just put a dab of this on your larger dollop will last for a longer amount of time. But it might come in handy at some point in the future. And there you go.

And is it best to put it on my palm or is there a better location? If you put it on your palm right on your lifeline, it will directly affect your life. Wow. If you put it on your love line, you will have no need for attention of a loved one. Oh my gosh. Be careful with this, it's quite powerful.

Wow, can you imagine all the things a less horny Arnie would accomplish? Now we're talking. I'm not that horny, I'm just thirsty for attention. Arnie, come on. And a little horny, I guess. Prentice, um, thank you so much for these, um, these poultices and and conversation and then your kindness is there anything we can do for you oh wait we gave you the 12 yeah yes rolling in and now I've got ten I used two for the attention poultice

right I've got ten I'm one six of the way to a million. But the gifts don't end there. What? Now use it all. Pulls from his hat. A jar of mayonnaise. What? Where do you come from? Land of mayonnaise? Well, I use it to make drugs, but you go nuts with it. Oh, thank you so much. Wait, what did you call that stuff? I didn't call it anything. It was chicken egg plus oil. But just assuming by the viscosity of it, it must be the chicken egg oil cream.

I've never been able to suspend it, so... Oh, I hope that works for you. Yusitor, hey, Yusitor. Yeah? Why don't you make this guy like a bunch of green beans so he can keep his fingers? Oh, that's a good idea. Look, friend. Here, reach into my hat one more time. Alright, reach in with three fingers on my right hand. Now you just keep jerking everything out of there and you're gonna get everything you need.

Stop, don't say it like that. What? What did I say? Wait, I'm reaching all the way into this. Yeah. I feel a little nub of something. Yeah, get a hold of that nub and pull as hard as you can. Well, I can't quite reach this bean so I'll just flick it a little bit. I'll just flick the bean here, if that's fine.

You got it. Oh, I got a little bit of a bit of a... Thank you. You have no idea how much this is worth, this nub... nublet I got. It is our pleasure. Well, we've done all the good work we can do here. Let us go back forth out in the world, where we'll continue our quest to defeat evil. Bye, everyone, that's the Deleted Duck. Bye, look at us leaving, bye! You can get off your own knees now everyone. Sorry, I need to help everyone off of their

knees at this point because of the lack of knee tops. Oh sure, of course, yeah, doing good work. Arnie, thank you, your highness, for coming from your river of gold, from your wealth tower, and it seems like you're actually, you're mostly wealthy and rich in friendship oh but also all the stuff that you have yeah I'm pretty privileged come on 1% let's go later bye everyone thanks for the attention Jokes on them, we're talking about 1% of the podcast listening audience. A generous estimate. Usual the Wizard was played by Matt Young.

Chunk the Talking Badger was played by Adol Rafai. Prentice Medway the Poult maker, was played by special guest Chris Grace. Go see Chris' show Chris Grace as Scarlett Johansson at Portland Center Stage now through June 22nd and at Comedy Sports Philadelphia June 27th and 28th. And if you'd like to watch Chris undo 10 minutes of back-breaking opening number exposition with a single line, find yourself a recording of improvised musical group Baby Wants Candies show, Man Camp. Hello from the Magic Tavern is an independent production

made possible by supporters of the Magic Tavern Patreon. Patrons get ad-free episodes, all the spin-offs and at least two new bonus episodes each month. Here's a clip of the most recent bonus episode where right before recording, Matt Young got so angry about how many tabs he had open on his computer, that they decided to do an entire episode about it.

I guess anything really can be content. Well, here is what prompted it actually, is I was talking to you guys, and we're talking about what we're gonna do, what we're not gonna do. And then there's like, I've sized my zoom window, so that right above it is my browser window behind it. And I could see just above it

peeking out a behind the zoom window, all the fucking tabs. I was sort of like Kilroy, like the Yeah, exactly. Like Kilroy. I think actually, it's possible, Matt, that what you said was, I am so angry about how many tabs I have open. That sounds right. The wind up of sincere frustration where I'm like, oh no, what is Matt upset about?

And it's all these tabs. Addle and I both lit up at the same moment, right? Is that fair to say? Oh yeah, I think we had a shared moment of, it was almost like you got your chocolate and my peanut butter, I got my peanut butter and your chocolate and we both said, Arnienie and you said Addle and we said talking tabs Yeah, this is Addle. This is Arnie and we're talking tabs

To hear the rest and learn more about supporting the show visit patreon.com Magic tavern and if you sign up directly on the patreon website instead of the Apple patreon app You can avoid any extra Apple fees. Hello from the Magic Tavern is produced by Arnie Niekamp, Matt Young, and Adil Rafai. Post-production coordination by Garrett Schultz, Associate Producer, Anna Hoverman. This episode edited by Red Keener.

Hello from the Magic Tavern logo by Allard Laban. Magic Tavern theme by Andy Poland. (*beep beep*) Also, does Sniffin' listen to these, or does he just phone in his bullshit? LeBan. Magic Tavern theme by Andy Poland. Well, I can't speak for this sniffing character, but I can tell you I listen to all these transmissions, even the added clips after the credits, because why be bored for 45 minutes and then pass up the chance to be bored for 10 more seconds? And as far as phoning it in, a phone would be lucky to be the conduit for what I'm laying down. And Chris, if I see you out in the world, I'll say, Oh, yes, I heard you on the show.

Let me know if you're ever back again and prepared to make an effort. Now, time to start a more enjoyable activity before I remember any of this. In the first half of the 20th century, one woman changed adoption in America. What was once associated with the shame of unmarried mothers became not only acceptable, but fashionable. But Georgia Tann didn't help families find new homes out of the goodness of her heart. She was stealing babies from happy families and selling them for profit. Hi, I'm Lindsey Graham, the host of Wondry Show, American Scandal. We bring to life some of the biggest controversies in US history. Presidential lies, environmental disasters, corporate fraud. And in our latest series, a young adoption worker moves to Memphis, Tennessee and becomes one of the most powerful women in the city.

By the time her crimes are exposed, decades later, she's made a fortune and destroyed hundreds of families along the way. Follow American Scandal on the Wondry app or wherever you get your podcasts. Experience all episodes ad-free and be the first to binge the newest season only on Wondry+. You can join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify.

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