High Performance Mindset | Learn from World-Class Leaders, Consultants, Athletes & Coaches about Mindset - 107: How to Double Your Belief In Yourself

Episode Date: May 12, 2017

“You weren’t an accident. You weren’t mass produced. You aren’t an assembly-line product. You were deliberately planned, specifically gifted.” Max Lucado, Best-selling author High performers are confident – they believe and trust in their ability. They learn and let go when they make a mistake, knowing that failure is just feedback. They end their day building their confidence. And they imagine their future with excitement and picture greatness. Affirmation this Week: I choose confidence. I choose to believe in myself. I picture my future with excitement!

Welcome to High Performance Mindset with Dr. Sindra Kampoff. Do you want to reach your full potential, live a life of passion, go after your dreams? Each week we bring you strategies and interviews to help you ignite your mindset. Let's bring on Syndra. High Performance Mindset on The Country Club this morning with Dr. Syndra Kampoff. Good morning, Syndra.

Good morning. It's great to be here. Have a good weekend. It's hard not to, I would imagine. It's so beautiful out, isn't it? Just being able to be outside and enjoy the weather was great. It's great to be here. Have a good weekend. It's hard not to, I would imagine. It's so beautiful out, isn't it? Just being able to be outside and enjoy the weather was great.

It looks like we'll get more of it here through the week. And as we sit down and really kind of go through things with you today to try to get the week started and headed in the right direction, give us something to think about. I like today's topic. It's timely for me because I've been struggling through my marathon training a little bit. Until recently, I've gained a little bit of confidence. But how to double your belief in yourself is the topic today. So where do we start there?

Do you have a quote? I do. You weren't an accident. You weren't mass produced. You weren't an assembly line product. You were deliberately planned, specifically gifted. It's a quote by Max Lusato, bestselling author. All right. So what inspired today's topic, how to double your belief in yourself?

Well, yesterday I was kind of ending my week and thinking about my experiences during the week. And I had several speaking engagements, one to 300 high school students in Cottonwood, Minnesota, and then another group where I spoke to administrative assistants. And I worked with some athletes individually. I was kind of wrapping up the week. I asked myself, like, what's the number one topic people asked me about? And it was confidence, you know, how to be more confident. And then this weekend I spent a lot of time watching kids lacrosse, youth basketball,

and I thought, man, sometimes they could really use more confidence, especially when they were losing. So, you know, what people asked me about, you know, coaches asked me, you know, they desire their athletes to be more confident. Managers want their employees to be more confident. You know, parents desire their kids to be more confident. So that's kind of things people have been asking me about. All right. So how do you describe confidence?

Because there are times when, you know, you might see a professional athlete and people think, oh, he's cocky. Is there a difference between being cocky or confident? That's a great question. How do you describe that? So I would describe confidence as the belief and trust in yourself. So the certainty that you believe that you're going to be successful and really believing in yourself as a choice. We choose to believe in ourselves or not. And I think the key is, is we must really choose to believe that we can do anything we put our

mind to. And you asked me, TJ, you know, what, how I would describe it as confident people have an inner arrogance. And one of the, one of the people I met this week, I was kind of describing to them that, you know, confident people say to themselves things like, you know, they build themselves up. They say like, I'm strong, I'm powerful, I can do it. And she said, that sounds kind of arrogant. And I said, well, it's really about, mentally toughness is really about having inner arrogance, saying that to yourself. You don't need to say that out loud to anyone else, but believing in yourself. And I think there's a difference between outer arrogance and inner arrogance. That's what really confidence is, inner arrogance.

Do you think that it's something you need to carry all the time? Because there's times where I think to myself, okay, if I'm speaking to myself, I get out of my car where I'm going to park it and go on my long run for the day, and I might right before I actually start to pick up the pace say to myself, you know, sounds dumb, but might just say something like, you know, you're a beast. You got this today. You're trained. You're ready to go.

Be the man. Nice. I love it. Whatever it is, something like that. And then you go, you know, and you're like, and then you, it's probably even more so when I finish where I'm like, I am the, I just crushed that. I felt so good. I did it. I now know I can do it. I could do it again if I wanted to. It's sort of an inner, like you're talking to yourself in that, in that arrogant way. Absolutely, but you're building yourself up and I think the key is no one needs to know what you're thinking about, right? And you're really protecting

your confidence and I think confidence is really about, is your responsibility, your personal responsibility. Protecting your confidence. You don't necessarily need to carry that level of it everywhere you go though, right? You don't need to go to the grocery store. I can't walk out of my way. I'm faster. I'm a beast. I'm shopping. That's right. I'm a beast. Don't be a jerk. I deserve these bananas more than you get out of my way. I just ran 17 miles. And I don't think confidence is about believing you're better than anyone else either. Okay. Right. And so today we're talking really about doubling your belief in yourself. And I think if you consistently do these three things every day, you'll increase your confidence. But like you kind of described, TJ, it does take effort.

You need to remind yourself to do these things until they become kind of habit. Okay. All right. So what's the first way that we can increase our belief in ourselves? To pay attention to your reaction when you make a mistake. So a lack of confidence, you know, you might beat yourself up or you might be able to tell on your body by maybe you're moping or you can tell like a lack of confidence. But the key is to remind yourself that you're going to fail a million times in your life and you actually need to fail to be successful. So what we know is in the more successful people have failed more often. And, you know, confident

people really see failure as a step in learning. Failure is feedback. Failure is necessary for you to grow and for you to reach your goals. So the key is to notice yourself when you make a mistake. So in sport, it's really easy to see when people make a mistake. Maybe they lose the ball or they miss a basket. But for many people who don't play sport, an example might be a poor decision that we make or tough feedback that we get from somebody else. So the key is just notice your reaction. An example might be a poor decision that we make or tough feedback that we get from somebody else. So the key is just notice your reaction.

And I think that what to do is to learn and let go and say, I got it next time. And build yourself up after the mistake or however you want to describe your failure. Because again, what I said is confidence is our responsibility. I always like, and you see this all the time on the internet and different places, but sometimes sometimes you win, sometimes you learn quote is a good one. It's a good way to go. Yeah. I think it's easy to hear that and say, yeah, yeah, that's right, but it's much more difficult to practice. To live it. Yeah, that's for sure. Isn't that so true? So what's another way we can increase our belief in ourselves? So at the end of the day, notice what you're thinking about related to your day. So I'd encourage you to look back at your day and just notice, are you thinking about all the ways that you messed up or all the things that you wish you could do over or

all the things that went wrong? Or are you thinking about the things that went right? And that's the key is to focus on as you reflect on your day, what went right? What did you accomplish? You know, what are you excited about? What are you happy about? So the way to do this is what to do is like we have to practice celebrating our little wins throughout our day to improve our confidence and our belief in ourself. So the thing that you could do is at the end of your day, you could even write three things that went great that day.

Just write it down. Three things that went great. If you really want to improve your confidence, write three things that went great down. And I wouldn't write anything that went wrong. Just write three things, even if they're really small. And if you say, I don't like to write, at least as you lay in bed, reflect on those. Think about it. Think about it. All right. What's another way we can help ourselves? The third way is to pay close attention to how you're thinking about the future. So are you nervous about it?, do you believe you can't reach your goals? Are you imagine failing? Instead, confident people, they imagine their future every day and they're imagining it with excitement. For example, we know that 98% of Olympic athletes use daily imagery. And imagery is so powerful because your mind

doesn't know the difference between something that's vividly imagined and something that's real. So imagery can increase your probability of success. And confident people, they imagine their future with excitement. So what to do at the end of your day after you think about the three things that went great, then imagine your next day going awesome. Or imagine maybe a future performance that you really want to crush and imagine it being successful. Use your imagination. There you go. In a good way.

I like that. And you know what? Who cares? Be cocky inside your head, right? Be a little bit overconfident there. If you're going to be overconfident anywhere, that's a good place to start with it right there. And I used the fake it till you make it thing with my track kids the other day. I was thinking about you quite a bit in the middle of the night on Friday into Saturday morning.

I stayed up late and watched the 159-59 attempt by the Nike runners. Oh, wow. Wasn't that amazing? Unbelievable. And I couldn't help but think about the mental toughness it must have taken to be at one point one of only three runners out there, then two, then just the one guy left going after this record, other than the pacers that were out there. It was like a NASCAR pit stop when they would change pacers out there in front of this guy. But what it took to run, he didn't get the 159.59.

He was off by 26 seconds. 26 seconds. Isn't that amazing? But still, it was a two-hour and 25-second marathon. 26.2 miles. Not a legit marathon. And you know he had to have 100% certainty that he could be successful to do that. And just the discomfort that he had to overcome.

Yeah. How fast he was running at 420-something miles. Yeah. For 26.2 miles. But the whole thought of, if I just stay on this guy's heels i'll be able to get there kind of thing you know and they were trying to pull them along at the end and it was so close and i have no doubt they'll try again i would imagine i'm sure uh but just so you know in a normal marathon you've got thousands of people around you got crowds cheering and you've

got the adrenaline of it and i'm sure this contains adrenaline, but you were just out on a track doing loops, boring loops to hang in there and do that. That was pretty amazing to watch. I could imagine he was imagining success. He would have had to, yeah, because it was just the same thing over and over. And he had to have a lot of belief, maybe even double the amount of belief he would have in himself. How do we summarize today's topic of double your belief in yourself? So high performers, those people who are working to reach their greater potential, which I know is you or you wouldn't be listening. They're confident.

They believe in trust in their ability and they learn and let go when they make a mistake. Knowing that failure is just feedback. They end their day building their confidence and they imagine their future with excitement and picture greatness. An affirmation, a good quote that you can go with for the week here. If you want to put it on the post-it note and stick it to the mirror in the bathroom today, what is the affirmation? I choose confidence. I choose to believe in myself.

I picture my future with greatness. That is a great Monday morning quote right there. A good affirmation to go with from Dr. Sindra Kampoff today for High Performance Mindset. If we want to follow along with you, podcasts and online and all the videos and things like that, what's the best way for us to get all the info? You can head over to drsindra.com, so D-R-C-I-N-D-R-A.com. All right, Sindra with us today.

Thank you so much. Thanks for having me. I really appreciate it. Have a fantastic week. Looks like it's going to be a good one for all of us, and now we've got some good stuff to chew on here to start the work week with, with High Performance Mindset. Thank you for listening to High Performance Mindset. If you liked today's podcast, make a comment, share it with a friend, and join the conversation on Twitter at Mentally Underscore Strong. For more inspiration and to

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