High Performance Mindset | Learn from World-Class Leaders, Consultants, Athletes & Coaches about Mindset - 116: How to Master Yourself

Episode Date: June 23, 2017

High performers work to understand themselves. They are aware of their thoughts, feelings, and actions in the present moment. They are an observer of themselves and they use the ABCs to stay aware. My Affirmation this Week: “I work to understand myself and my tendencies. I master myself to reach a new level.”

Welcome to High Performance Mindset with Dr. Sindra Kampoff. Do you want to reach your full potential, live a life of passion, go after your dreams? Each week we bring you strategies and interviews to help you ignite your mindset. Let's bring on Syndra. It is time for High Performance Mindset with Dr. Syndra Kampoff in studio with us today. Good morning, Syndra.

Good morning. It's great to be here. Good to have you back in today. This could be a really long segment, but I'm just going to try to have you back in today This could be a really long segment But I'm just going to try to abbreviate stuff Oh yeah, that'll happen I know, I'm just going to let her take control

And I'll just chime in once in a while Master yourself is the topic today And I have a feeling I'll be able to grab some nuggets out of this one Today, what do you mean by this? And we always start with a quote, right? Yes, this is a quote by Tony Robbins He said, self-awareness is one of the rarest of human commodities. I don't mean self-consciousness where you're limiting and evaluating yourself.

I mean, being aware of your own patterns. All right. So do you have a good example for us here on this one? Yeah. Yesterday, I posted on the podcast an interview that I did this week with a woman named Dr. Wendy Bollaby, and she's the sports psychologist for the Chicago Bulls. She's also worked for the United States Olympic Committee and Olympic athletes for six years. So she was a part of two Winter Olympics and one Summer Olympics. So, you know, very accomplished within the field. And when I interviewed these people, I always ask them, like, what's the one thing that you teach all the elite athletes that you work with? And half of the sports psychologists I've interviewed have said this, and this is what Wendy said. She teaches, you know, the importance of self-awareness.

And here are a few things that she said. She said a key to be at your best is to know who you are and know where you want to be. Know where you want to go. And she said the best are always finding a way to grow and learn. And the key to that is self-awareness. And she had this really interesting way of describing self-awareness and she said you know it's sort of like body odor when you when you when you you know when you start stinking you know it's usually the people around you that smell you first but she said the key is that you need to

when you smell yourself you're over the top so you have to catch yourself you have to catch yourself before other people catch you. That's a pretty good analogy there. A good way to look at it. So I do, and I find myself here after the Tony Robbins quote, trying to figure out what the difference between self-awareness and self-consciousness. So what do you mean by self-awareness? Okay. So this is what I really mean. I mean, being aware of your thinking and your motives and the stories you tell yourself, your habits, your tendencies. Really, it's about being aware of your thoughts and your motives and the stories you tell yourself, your habits, your tendencies. Really, it's about being aware of your thoughts and your emotions, but non-judgmentally, sort

of as if you're an observer of yourself. And I've been trying to do this more and more and more, just like notice myself sort of like an observer outside my body and just notice how I interact with others, notice what I'm thinking about. But the key is you have to just watch your mind as an observer. So you're not kind of stuck in the story inside your head because we all tell ourselves stories that are inaccurate. And so the key is to just to be an observer of yourself. And I came across this quote this weekend.

I was like, whoa. Carl Jung, a psychologist, said, until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate. That's very Yoda right there. That's deep stuff. Until you make the unconscious conscious, it'll direct your life, you'll call it fate. So I think what that really means is just until you notice yourself and you notice your emotions, you're just going to say, well, you know, that's the way it was supposed to be. Until, you know, unless you really are aware of what's going on, then you see how your thoughts and your emotions and your actions lead to what happens. Got to learn to drive your own bus, I guess.

There we go. So self-awareness is important, not just when we're performing, but basically every day, just kind of in the now, so to speak. So it is. Can you explain that to us? Yeah. You know, self-awareness changes how you feel emotionally, it changes how you react to your thinking. And it's really the foundation of the work that we do on ourselves. Because if you're undermining yourself or your success, you're not going to

reach your goals. You know, if you have a distorted view of yourself, you're not going to reach your goals. So if you're more self-aware, you can be more present, enjoy the moment. And you know, like what I said, is you're more of an observer of your thoughts and your emotions. I want to be in control and that's why we call this segment Master Yourself because I don't want my thoughts and my emotions just to be automatic. So when you're self-aware, they don't become automatic. You can master yourself. And I think everyone listening, you don't want your emotions just to happen to you either. So is there some sort of proof that self-awareness is connected to us being our best?

So one research study says 83% of high performers in sport and business and life are highly self-aware. And when you're highly self-aware, you know yourself better than anyone else does. And we're the person we spend the most time with. So that's the key is, you know, it's connected to leadership. And, you know, the situations where self-awareness is really important that you're self-aware, that you're paying attention to your thoughts and your emotions and how they're leading to your pace or what's happening in the race for you. Sure. Yeah. There were moments like that where, well, and I haven't talked about it a lot on the radio today, but I didn't get my time goal, whatever it was. I wasn't

close, but it was earlier than ever in any of the three marathons that I've run that I started noticing things. Like at mile 11, my left calf muscle started acting up, and I was like, I did the whole, I recognize you. I see you. I feel you there, calf muscle, but we're going to be okay. And at mile 13, I was feeling pretty good, and my time was relatively close to where I wanted it to be, and then it just kept getting worse and worse from there as far as the leg cramps go. But I was well aware of that. But it wasn't until about mile 19 when I finally looked at my wife when they stopped.

They had been waiting for me at mile 19. And I'm like, I've been denying this for eight miles now, but I need to switch my mindset. This is happening. And I got to work on just getting to the finish line instead of worrying about my time goal. So I said to her, I said, I got to have a mindset switch here. And I think she kind of interpreted that a little bit different than I was interpreting it. She was like, yeah, you got to go get after it. And I was like, no, I got to survive. I got to live to get to the finish line because my ankles aren't bending because my calf muscles are so cramped up. And it was frustrating for me

because I went 16 weeks of training and never had one single cramp on one single training run. And then on race day at mile 11. So I'm still sort of processing that. I finished. I'm proud of that. It was a much better day, but still too warm for me. But I was definitely aware

at mile 11. Tried to kind of squelch the negativity there for a while. And if you wouldn't have been aware at mile 19, I tried to kind of squelch the negativity there for a while. And if you wouldn't have been aware at mile 19, you would have kept on pushing, and then who knows if you would have been able to finish. Right. I had to get there. I think the marathon is life, right? There's so many applications that you can apply for marathoning to life,

and I think that's a great example of just understanding yourself and what was going on and being able to finish, which is your ultimate goal. Two things, the marathon and golf can teach you life lessons in one four hour stretch right there. They'll teach you a lot about life. So how do we increase our self-awareness then if we need more of this? Well, you know, it's critical in terms of, so how do you increase it? Here's some questions that you can answer. Ask yourself, you know, how do other people describe you? What are your strengths? What are your weaknesses? What are your values? How do you typically respond to pressure or failure? And I think to really to

take yourself to the next level, the key is to understand how you respond to these important questions. How do you answer them? And maybe if you don't necessarily know how you answer them, maybe just talking to somebody that you know really well who can help you describe how they see you and to help you understand some of those questions so you just better understand yourself. One of my favorite things about you, Cindra, is you always have a good acronym for us. Ah, yes. I try to talk in acronyms because they're easy to remember. They are. So this is an ABC acronym that's actually in my book and in this topic on self-awareness.

And ABC just helps you increase your self-awareness. So A is just be aware of your thoughts, your emotions, and your actions. And do it non-judgmentally, which we've been talking about today. B, just take a deep breath as you notice it. And then C, give yourself some compassion because, you know, the key is to be non-judgmental and to help you understand yourself so you can take yourself to the next level. Excellent. This is good.

This is deep stuff. We've gotten kind of deep from time to time, but it's all real good stuff. And I like that a little bit of this is in the book, which is coming very, very soon, I understand. How do we summarize today's topic? High performers, those who are working to reach their greater potential, they work to understand themselves. And they are aware of their thoughts, their feelings, their actions in the present. And they're an observer of themselves and they use the ABCs to stay self-aware. If you follow Dr. Cendra Kampoff on Twitter or through the website and listen to the podcast, there's always an affirmation to start the week with.

And these interviews pop up. I saw a couple of them now. I think I have banked for when I finally get my feet back on the road to listen to while I'm running. What's this week's affirmation to start the week? I work to understand myself and my tendencies. I master myself to reach a new level. All right.

And if we want to follow along and we're not doing that right now, what's the best way for us to do that? You can head over to my website, drcindra.com. The book goes to the printer this Friday. So it's all good. It's almost here. It's happening. That's awesome. It's happening. It's happening. And then you can find the podcast on iTunes to search High Performance Mindset. All right. Dr. Cindra Kampoff with us today. It's always good to get a little advice and a little bit of knowledge out of you. And I

certainly will take a little bit of it today. I maybe didn't get my time goal, but listen to this metal hit the table. It's really heavy. I could knock a dude out with that thing. I almost wish they would have done these waves over the sides a little bit closer because I actually did go to the liquor store and buy a bottle of beer to try to open it with my metal because it looks like a bottle opener. What? You bought 12. Oh yeah, I bought 12 of them, but I tried to open one with my metal, but it didn't work. It's a beautiful metal. It is nice.

It is nice. And I got to the finish line to earn it. So, Dr. Cinder Kampoff with us today for High Performance Mindset. Thank you very much. Thanks for having me. We'll see you next week on Minnesota 93. Thank you for listening to High Performance Mindset. If you liked today's podcast, make a comment, share it with a friend,

and join the conversation on Twitter at Mentally Underscore Strong. For more inspiration and to receive Sindra's free weekly videos, check out DrSindra.com.