High Performance Mindset | Learn from World-Class Leaders, Consultants, Athletes & Coaches about Mindset - 128: Building Confidence in Yourself

Episode Date: August 20, 2017

"Confidence isn't walking into a room thinking you're better than anyone, it's walking in not comparing yourself to anyone at all." LiveLifeHappy.com Summary: High performers are confident – they believe and trust in their ability. They have certainty that they will be successful. They work to be fully prepared, give their best effort and are their own best friend. Affirmation this Week: I choose confidence. I choose to believe and trust in my ability.

Welcome to High Performance Mindset with Dr. Sindra Kampoff. Do you want to reach your full potential, live a life of passion, go after your dreams? Each week we bring you strategies and interviews to help you ignite your mindset. Let's bring on Sindra. Dr. Sindra Kampoff with us today for High Performance Mindset on The Country Club. Good morning, Sindra. Good morning. It's great to be here this Monday morning. I noticed that when you walked in, you looked like you were going back to school because you were carrying a stack of books.

Boo! I was. I don't know if you noticed. We will save that discussion for a second here. We'll just get into it briefly here because I have a lot of questions when it comes to the book. But the first thing we're going to do today is talk about building confidence in yourself. We always like to start with a good quote. So where do we go with building confidence today? This is a quote by Live Life Happy. Confidence isn't walking into a room thinking you're better than anyone. It's walking in and not having to compare yourself to anyone at all.

I like that quote. That's a really good one. Being just confident enough to walk into the room and know that you are good enough as you are is the way I interpret that. You don't have to try to live up to anybody's expectations or what you think their expectations might be. You've had a pretty busy week. I've been watching you on the Twitter machine there. You've been, obviously, Vikings training camp has been going on. You were also down in Florida yet again.

And some speaking engagements. You've been just traveling around the country here. Yeah, so one of the things that I did last week is I went to a pro summit in Tampa. And it was sponsored by a sports ecology organization, the Association for Applied Sports Ecology. And it was a summit where several different sports ecology consultants or mental performance coaches came together from all pro sports. So it was pretty cool. So there was representatives there from the NFL, the NBA, Olympic sport, professional soccer. And it made me really think about deeply, we talked a lot about like, what is it that we do? And we shared strategies and tools are just pretty cool.

But my takeaways are a few, you know, our job is really to help people have clear heads and clear minds, and be confident in themselves, despite mistakes or adversity that we all experience. And then really, you know, to stay in the present moment, which we talked about last week here on the radio. But I thought I would take out confidence today because I think that's one of the things that I see a lot of people really struggle with. And what makes that so tough? You know, because our minds aren't really here to help us be happy and they aren't designed

for peak performance or for high performance. And really our minds are here to protect us, to keep us safe, to manage the threats so we don't get hurt. And so that's why mental training is so important because we should train our minds every day so that we can really be at our best and experience the success that we know that we deserve. So how would you describe confidence then in just a regular old person walking into the room? I would say it's the belief and trust in your ability and just the certainty that you're going to be successful.

But I think the thing that's tricky about confidence is it can come and go. And there are some times that you're confident and sometimes that you're not. And I think what, at least for me, the times that I'm not confident are the times where I'm really trying something new or it's a new situation. But I like the quote that you're confident no matter where you go, because you know that you're enough, right? So confidence

can come and go, but it's something that you should continually work on improving because your mind's not going to do it naturally. Okay. So if we're trying to, if we know somebody that we think, well, that's a pretty confident person, or maybe that person's more confident than I am, I could be better at that. What do confident people do and don't they do that makes them confident people? So confident leaders, athletes, entrepreneurs, they really trust that they have what it takes and they prepare to be at their best every single day. They're resilient and they realize they can get through anything, any kind of mistake or adversity. And they don't let mistakes or bad days or bad performances impact their confidence.

They don't make generalizations. And part of my story is, I was a really successful college high school runner and then I got a great college scholarship. But it was in college where I made these generalizations. I'd have one bad race and I think I'm a terrible runner. Okay. Without realizing, it was in college where I made these generalizations. I'd have one bad race and I think I'm a terrible runner. Okay. With just without realizing, you know, it's just everyone that nobody performs perfectly all the time. So confidence is something you obviously

have to build in yourself and it's, it's a routine you have to, to live out every day. So why is that important for us to build that in ourselves? I feel like I'm asking the obvious, you know, easy questions, but you can answer those that help us along the way. Absolutely. Well, confidence is one of the strongest predictors of performance, and if you're more confident, you're going to have just more belief in yourself

when you do experience the setbacks or mistakes. You're going to have more courage to go after your dreams, and you won't necessarily tank when the pressure is on because a lack of confidence directly is linked to pressure. So confident people work harder, they set more challenging goals, and they stick with things a lot longer. You've often said before, and I know that we've talked about it, that confidence and many times other topics work out this way too, is a decision. You decide to be confident. What do you mean by that? Yeah, you know, you make a decision every day to think confidently, be confidently, and act confidently.

And it's a daily decision that really is the key to nurture. And there are several things that you can do to, because I said confidence can come and go. So there's things that you can do to improve your confidence no matter what situation you're in. Now, what is one way that we could go about building our confidence? All right, thanks for asking, Logan. I would say the first way is to make a decision to be fully prepared.

You know, preparation is one of the most powerful ways to impact your confidence, and it's fully under your control. And so daily preparation is really the key. And you know what? I think sometimes, and this even happens to me where I say, well, gosh, I just don't feel like it. Instead of realizing if I do this, then I'm going to feel more confident and more fully prepared. So choose preparation instead of just how you feel. This makes me think the first serious, quote-unquote serious 5K I ran was at the marathon here a few years ago, and this is when I was still like 335.

I went on maybe one or two training runs before the day leading up to it. Hated myself the entire 43 minutes I was I was like, see, I understand why preparation can help one be more confident. But there's more than one, other than preparation, there's more than one way to help build your confidence, correct? Yes, there is. So preparation is absolutely key,

and I like your story, Logan. And I bet the second time you ran the 5K, you were more prepared. Oh, much more. It went way better. But good job for going after it. So the second way is to put on your confidence armor. And this is what I mean. You know, I think the key is, is kind of related to the quote that we said, there's only one you. And the key is to put your confidence armor around

you. And so you don't let other people impact your confidence, maybe other people's feedback or their comments, what they say, maybe a coach or a boss or a teacher. And instead, the key is realizing you can get through anything and believe in yourself. Have that confidence armor so that you don't let things impact your confidence. And kind of believing in yourself is even a third way that we can build our confidence, right? Yes. So I'd say be your best friend. And what I mean by this is... I like that. Yeah, we all need that. Is that the inner voice inside our head or our self-talk directly impacts our confidence. So if you're unconfident, you're probably telling yourself all the reasons that you don't want to stand out or all the reasons that you can't do it.

Guilty. Guilty. Me too. So the key is just notice that negativity or notice how you're talking to yourself, address it, and then tell yourself all the reasons that you should be confident in yourself. We joke here in the studio sometimes because all the reasons that you should be confident in yourself. We joke here in the studio sometimes because I'll get off on a tangent. And I'll tell a story that I think is going to be a quick story. And it's not. It never is.

I go on and on and on sometimes. But we joke about nobody loves them some me as much as me. And it's kind of a joke, obviously, because I'll be talking about some sort of story and go on and on and on. But I think that's a confidence thing. Like you're saying, you have to be confident in yourself. And you have to be comfortable with yourself, too, in order to be confident in yourself. So don't be afraid to love yourself some you. I love it.

So we got a lot of good stuff out of this conversation here today. So how do you summarize this for us? So high performers, those people who are working to reach their greater potential, they believe and trust in their ability and they have certainty that they'll be successful. They stay fully prepared, give their best effort and work to be their own best friend. And the affirmation that goes along with it this week? I choose confidence. I choose to believe and trust in my ability.

There you go. That's great for a Monday. Get out there and get after it. Dr. Sindra Kampoff with us today. If we would like to follow along with you and see what you're up to and get a hold of this book and follow along on the podcasts and all that good stuff. I've seen a lot of good positive reaction to your podcast with Ken Raviza. I know. Isn't it awesome?

It's really nice to see that. Yeah, that's a good one. How do we follow along with you? You can head over to DrCindra.com and I do have preview copies of my book for both of you today, so it's pretty exciting. That's cool. And it'll be launched to the public August 31st, so I'm having a big launch party here in Mankato.

Great. And so I'll be telling you a little bit more about as we get going. Thursday night? Yes. All right. I got to put that on the calendar because I want to be there for it. It's going to be pretty awesome. That's great.

Congratulations. Thank you. It was really amazing this week to get it in my hand. And I was like, oh, my gosh. It was a little surreal. I love the photo I saw on Twitter of the family reading time. I know. Her husband and both of her boys on the couch.

And every one of them had a copy of the book in their hand, and they were reading along. My son Blake was like, did you write about me? Did you write a story about me? And I'm like, no. No? Next time you write a book? I'm like, okay. Oh, no.

Yeah, that's great. Next time you write a book, Mom. Next time. No problem. Next time you crack out one of those. Just churning them out. Yeah. Maybe. Down the road, we might say she's churned out a lot of books.

I hope so. But right now, this is the one and only. And stand by for more details on that August 31st release. So congratulations on that. Thank you so much. Dr. Cinder Kampoff with us today. High Performance Mindset on Minnesota 93. Thank you for listening to High Performance Mindset.

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