High Performance Mindset | Learn from World-Class Leaders, Consultants, Athletes & Coaches about Mindset - 132: A Setback is a Comeback with Maddie Maruska, Former Gymnast

Episode Date: September 13, 2017

Maddie, the feature story in Chapter 15 of Beyond Grit, is a former gymnast who overcame an ACL injury to competed in the State Meet in the vault and beam. On the night of the state meet right after accomplishing her dream goals, she was hit head on by a drunk driver. She broke both of her legs and could no longer compete in the sport. Despite these hardships, she says she is “lucky.” Listen to hear why. BeyondGrit.com

Welcome to High Performance Mindset with Dr. Sindra Kampoff. Do you want to reach your full potential, live a life of passion, go after your dreams? Each week we bring you strategies and interviews to help you ignite your mindset. Let's bring on Sindra. Welcome to the High Performance Mindset Podcast. This is your host, Sindra Kampoff, and I'm grateful that you're here, ready to listen to episode 131 with Maddie Maruska. Now, the goal of these interviews is to learn from the world's best leaders, athletes, coaches, and consultants, all about the topic of mindset to help us reach our potential or be high performers in our field or sport. Now in today's episode, a setback is a comeback. You'll hear about Maddie Maruska,

who's a former gymnast and track and field athlete. Now last week, Maddie and I did a Facebook live event that went viral. And Maddie's story is featured in my new book, Beyond Grit. She's the feature story of chapter 15. And after you hear about Maddie's story and learn about her perspective, I think you'll quickly see how and why that the Facebook live event went viral. So let me tell you a little bit about Maddie. Maddie is a former gymnast and track and field athlete who overcame an ACL injury her senior year to compete in a state meet in the vault in the beam. Now on the night of the state meet, right after accomplishing her dream goals, she was hit head-on by a drunk driver. She broke both of her legs and

could no longer compete in the sports such as track and field, which she did attempt to do at the college level. Now despite hardships and difficulties, the thing that struck me most about this interview is that how she describes how she's lucky. And you'll hear about her perspective and how she believes that she's lucky. She also talks about her reaction after ACL injury, which is similar to the experience that other people have after a season-ending injury. She talks about why a setback is a comeback as her mantra. She talks about her thoughts and reactions in the moment right after she was hit by the drunk driver. She talks about how she continues to live a courageous life, and the thing that I didn't

realize until the Facebook Live event was how her mental skills training as an athlete helped her deal with a life-changing accident when she was hit head-on. So I'm excited to share this interview with you. And to me, it shows you the power of mental training and how the impact of mental training can last a lifetime. Now, my favorite quotes from this interview that she talked about were these, you can always choose a positive perspective. And then later on she says, grit is the answer. Before we head over to the interview, I'd like to read a recent iTunes review. This is from Christy Arndt. Christy said, this podcast is for anyone who wants more out of life. It's for go-getters. I'm definitely that person and a big fan. If you

enjoyed today's interview, please head over to iTunes and leave a comment or review. You can also share it with a friend or post on social media. I would be grateful. So without further ado, let's bring on Maddie. Welcome to the High Performance Mindset Podcast. I am stoked today to have Maddie Maruska on our podcast on High Performance Mindset. Maddie, I'd like to welcome you. Hello. Awesome. Thank you for having me.

I'm grateful that you're here. So Maddie and I had a Facebook Live event last week. Maddie is featured in Chapter 15 of my book, new book called Beyond Grit. And I chose to feature her because she's very courageous and she goes after her goals and dreams to fight things that she can't control. And today we're going to talk about a setback, a couple of setbacks that you've had, but what I am impressed by is your ability to live with purpose and to choose resilience. So I'm grateful today, Maddie, that you're here to kind of share your story and help people just, you know, become the best version of themselves. Yes, I'm so excited. Okay, so those people are just kind of tuning in. My book Beyond

Great just launched last Thursday, and it's over 10 practices of the world's best and 10 practices of high performer. So Maddie and I are going to talk about those throughout this interview, how she's used them and how she still uses them. But we thought the way that we would start was actually kind of talking about how we started working together. So Maddie, kind of maybe from your perspective, kind of tell us, what do you remember about us working together? What's pretty cool about this, Maddie, is a lot of times in my field we keep kind of people that we work with really confidential and you know

I'm just grateful that you're willing to share with us your story today and and kind of describe to us how these mental strategies help you so what do you think Maddie just tell us what you remember about why we started working together um well first I first um met you when you would work with some of the Mankato West high school teams and you would work with us about like being more mentally strong in your games and you do the captain meetings um every Tuesday morning on late starts and that's kind of when I first learned about you. And then, um, when I started, cause when I had my injury,

it was my first season with the Mankato West team. So I kind of had just learned you learned about you. And then I had this injury in my, like, I always had the dreams of going back after I tore my ACL. I always wanted to go back, um, to gymnastics again.

So then my parents were like why don't you meet with their own on one and get um I guess just like a little bit of a boost to get back to doing what you want to do and I was like that sounds awesome so I started meeting with you um like right away after my after my injury actually yeah so and I think that that really helped me stay on top of coming back cool so yeah let's kind of describe to people so you had an ACL injury in gymnastics your year and kind of tell us I know your season ended abruptly and tell us kind of like what that experience was like like this maybe paint us a little picture of you know when you tore your ACL and just like what was your reaction to that well to start out I it was my first year with the

high school team I'd been doing club all my life and I was so excited to do the high school team to you know wear your school's colors and be with all of your classmates and all your friends you've grown up with and then it was my very first meet and um in the floor exercise and I was so devastated because all I wanted to do was be able to contribute for my team and be with my friends and play the play my part on the team that I knew that I was able to. And so I guess when I got hurt, then it was really hard to be around and to kind of mentally come back and start doing it again. Absolutely. So yeah, and you know, I'm hearing kind of like a loss of like, you know, couldn't be there for your team in terms of like, yeah, like the role that you wanted to play. And just what are some other emotions that you

experienced kind of during that time? Because like, I'm asking you these questions, because it's like, I think people I think what you experience is very similar to, you know, just generally people's reaction to an injury, and how we can kind of go through the stages of grieving. So kind of just describe that to us, like, you know, tear your ACL, you're off the season. And then, you know, how'd you feel about that? Well, I was very upset. So I was like, mad and sad. And then you get kind of get a loss of like your identity a little bit because you're always a gymnast and then you can't be a gymnast for that season. and so I would say anger and sadness really came out with my ACL injury, and even, almost even your purpose, like, kind of, like, doing, competing for your team gives you a lot of purpose and excitement,

and losing that, you have to find kind of new things to give you that sense absolutely and when you think back to that time what are some new things that you use to give you set yourself a sense of purpose yeah you know I got really close with my friends I got I was able to get more into my studies and found a lot of love with my family and And so you find those things, but it just is a little bit of tweaking. You have to be open minded. Yeah, for sure. And so then we started working together when you after surgery, you're coming back from the injury. And what are the mental skills, you know, that you remember us, you know, like in terms of working together with and using to, you know, help you with your

injury. And the reason I'm asking you that is because I think, you know, those things later on really help you deal with something pretty traumatic. So, you know, what do you remember in terms of this, the mental skills that we talked about? I think that one of the biggest ones that helped me was controlling your controllables and kind of taking care of what you can take care of, but you can't help if you blow out your knee. So you have to just kind of control what you can and work on your physical therapy, stay positive, all of that. Also, like, choosing your courage zone.

If you want to come back, then you have to work hard at it and that working hard doesn't mean just in the gym it means with your mind too especially with the sport like gymnastics is so mental where to get back on the balance beam and not have your legs be shaking you have to be courageous absolutely and you And, you know, tell us about that. Cause I, I completely agree that there can be a lot of fear in gymnastics. So, you know, how do you remember just like overcoming that and really, you know, choosing, choosing courage and bravery instead? Yeah. I mean, um, an example that sticks out in my mind is, so I tore my ACL on the floor in a in a full um so a specific move and I remember when I was like oh I don't want to do them ever again I'm so scared I'm gonna hurt myself again and then um

I actually had one coach say to me he was like Maddie you know that that's not the way that you want to be like you do not want to be that kind of gymnast that doesn't do something just because you're scared. And he kind of like laughed about it, like saying like, funny that you think that you're not going to do it again. And then once I started doing it, you know, I worked my way up to doing the same skills again. And I guess just repetition with that.

And then the more I did it, the less scary it became. And then you just have to realize that it was kind of a fluke that even happened, that I hurt my knee. Right. Absolutely. You know, one of the skills that I connected you with in chapter 15 of the book was skill of reframing, where I thought you did a really nice job of like, you know, taking on the new power phrase, you know, your setback is your comeback and reframing isn't about denying the difficulty. It's not about like avoiding it, but just seeing that, you know, reframe, we can change our viewpoint, we can intentionally choose. Yeah, dances and challenges through a different lens, right? Yeah, I think the world is what we make of it. We can change

our lens anytime. So it helps us kind of stay excited despite the hardships, no matter, you know, how things are hard at the moment. Tell us about that. Um, well, I would say that like, even a visual representation of the reframing your way back is the scar I got on my knee from my surgery. And then I would like look at that for a reminder of, you know, wanting to live the gymnast life that I wanted to. And I was all cooped up after and rehabbing like, and why I've worked so hard to get to where I was. I would say reframing really helped me to because I could think of it as my injury sets me apart from all the other gymnasts because I've had to work that much harder to get to the same place. So what did you think the scar represented for you? Like, what did it, when you looked at it, what did it realize?

I think it kind of would give me a sense of purpose, like why I'm doing this. And even like a little bit of a reminder that like you've come back so far from where you were and so like give it go for the gusto give it all you got kind of nice that's awesome so then you make it to state your senior year working back go after your big goals you go in the bowl and then the beam right yeah yeah and I wasn't expecting to qualify for staying on the balance beam although I hadn't had a good routine the whole season and then in the section meet I just like was so like focused and calm and it just kind of happened I guess that's awesome that's awesome so what was it like to kind of you know reach your reach your dream that season and

like you know overcome the ACL injury to make it this state yeah um definitely the most satisfying feeling was after that section meet and when I got to qualify in both of those events it really felt like all my hard work had paid off all the extra time I've put in all of the hard work all the hard practices it all becomes worth it in those moments yeah still to this day, it's one of the best days of my whole life. Oh, that's awesome. So yeah, that was amazing. So then, you know, you're flying high the night of the state gymnastics meet. Can you just tell us what occurred that day? So I competed at my state gymnastics meet, was so pumped that I made it.

And then when I was driving home later that night I was actually hit head-on with a drunk driver right by my house and it was a fatal accident it was really scary and the odds should not have been in my favor for that so it was about negative 40 degrees outside with wind chill in the middle of I live out in the country so it's kind of in the middle of nowhere and I was so lucky in so many ways that I wasn't more hurt and that I had skills to get out of that too. I have goosebumps all over my body just hearing you describe it so tell us a little bit about, you know, how you said you were lucky and, you know, super cold in Minnesota, minus 40 degrees, you know, what made you lucky? I was lucky because I had a car that was, it protected me.

I was lucky because I had a charged cell phone. I was able to call for help and then I was lucky that um you know so this is kind of um an interesting story so the the cops come and I was like really scared and um the cop comes over to my window and he's like oh my gosh is there like anything that you need and I was like could you just like stand and hold my hand for a little bit and so and then um as I've told people this they say you know that's actually amazing because you had the like mental strength to know that you needed comfort and to allow yourself to ask for that was like so amazing and then um so it was really um my car was very crushed and they couldn't quite get me out how they would like to. And they were like, is there any way you could just lift yourself out?

And like, I was so lucky because I was a gymnast and I had pretty good arm strength. So I was able to actually lift myself out of my own car with the dashboard like three inches away from the seat and my legs were bleeding and I was able to lift myself out and get to the ambulance and it worked out um pretty well actually so wow so and just to be clear as people are listening the other person did not survive right right and kind of tell us like what happened to your body after that night? So I actually ended up breaking both of my legs. I had some pretty big scars, a lot of bleeding. I broke my kneecap, my tibia, and tore my PCL and my meniscus of the knee that I tore my ACL in.

And then I had a pretty bad concussion and a little bit of a problem with my lung but those were all microscopic compared to what it could have been so wow wow so what I hear right away is like you know you use the words lucky and you know, you use the words lucky. And, you know, listening to this, people are probably like, what in the world, you know, like you're hitting a drunk driver and like, you're thinking of all the ways that you're lucky. Your immediate reaction, what was that? And like, when did you feel like you could develop this lucky perspective? You know what I mean? Yeah. So I guess like right away, like in the first like week or so after the accident, it was like very overwhelming with like school and just like, I don't know, kind of getting back on my feet.

And there's obviously like a lot of stuff going on with like investigating and all that stuff. And it was so draining. And then I guess like even when I would talk with my mom, she'd be like, Betty, but you have to keep in mind that you're so lucky that you even lived. Like whenever I get down, I just think about that, that you get to be here, you get to like live your life the way you want to

live it. You have some injuries, but you can get through those. You've done it before. Absolutely. Wow. Wow. but you can get through those you've done it before absolutely wow wow so do you think you know just having to rebound from that ACL surgery and just like you know how hard that was do you think that helped you just cope in terms of you know right after the accident? Absolutely. Okay. Absolutely. Um, because, again, I had like, kind of a loss of

identity, you know, couldn't do the things I wanted to do, really. And I was able to have the mental strength to be able to get back to that, even though for the, for after my accident, it was not really getting back to gymnastics, it was just getting back to having the active lifestyle that I wanted to have. So I used a lot of the same skills that you taught me after we had been meeting with each other after my ACL injury. And I know that I didn't really have to meet with you necessarily. But the things that you taught me were had become second nature in my mind. So I didn't really even have to think that much about it. Oh, that's amazing. I think that shows you the power of like, mental skills training when you

go through it, how it really like sets you up, like for a lifetime of skills. So it's amazing that you that you say that what what skills you remember being really helpful at that point. And you know, maybe we can even kind of go through the 10 practices. And if you're listening, you can actually go find a PDF of the 10 practices at beyondagrit.com slash practices. But tell us what you think, like what mental skills when you were, you know, a gymnast or working to overcome that and get back to gymnastics, you know, after surgery, what skills helped you? I would say definitely all 10 of them have helped me um some of the ones that jump out are um the dominate your controllables which um we already talked about with my ACL it was the same thing just kind of a higher magnitude um I would say also um the live and let go um because I would say also, um, the live and let go. Um, cause I came to a point where I had to kind

of just move forward from that. Um, after I was done healing, I would say choose empowering emotions because I could have gone into a slump and been like really sad and upset all of the time but instead I chose to kind of live my life to the fullest um be positive and happy and kind of give that to other people as well um it's like my personality I guess yeah that's amazing you know that dominate the controllables and one of the reasons I chose that word dominate, because I think, yeah, strong word, but I think that's what the best do is like, when they focus on things they can't control, they're, they're getting their mind to the things that they can control very quickly. You know, yeah, just tell us how you use that in your accident. Because, I mean, you could have easily, you know, like, and maybe you did this at the beginning, like blamed, you know, the person who hit you, like, you know, how did you do that? Like throughout your process of like, just kind of coping with what happened. And then how do you do that now? So I would say, um, when thinking about the specific moment, I had to really realize that I was not in control of the situation.

I did everything I could to keep myself safe, and it was really just nothing I could control. And so the things I could control were calling for help, being around even after, like being around my family, like having positive people around me and I think that was really a good thing for me and then even today when I get scared driving at night because I get scared of seeing headlights and stuff I just think about how I'm controlling my car and like what I'm doing and I don't really have control over the other things and

but if something were to happen again, then I would be able to control my reaction to that. Awesome. Amazing. And now, how would you say that you're like, how has your life changed? I mean, I know you, you know, this happened like right after track and field, you know, right before track and field season, you know, you weren't able to run and compete like you, like you could. So what are the things that you can't able to run and compete like you, like you could. So what are the things

that you can't do because of the accident? Well, I missed out on my senior track season, and that was a big bummer. I really worked hard to try to run in college, and I was gonna go to a school out in Colorado and run there. And then when all this happened, I just didn't really want that pressure of like having a scholarship and because my knee was um pretty damaged and so then I came up to the University of St. Thomas and I ran track for one season but then my knee just couldn't handle it and so I had to kind of figure out what was best for me at that moment. Because I want to be able to do things like I'm an active person and I want to be able to do things for as long as I can.

And so I didn't want to kind of wear my knee completely out by running in college. So that was a hard decision to make for sure, but I think I made the right one. So that's a bummer, though, that I can't run in college track. And just some other things that like I have like arthritis and all that jazz. So you could be, you know, as people are listening, there could be like, wow, Maddie, you couldn't, you couldn't do what you wanted to, you couldn't, you know, compete in track like you wanted to, you couldn't follow that you wanted to you couldn't you know compete in track like you wanted to you couldn't follow that goal you know there's some lasting impact of on your body arthritis like how how do you stay positive how do you stay courageous what do you do to you know continue

to bring that that positive personality that you have and not get down or blame blame the situation what do you think um you know I I think um that things happen for you not to you as you famously say in your book um I think that everything that happened to me happened for me and the way that I react to it is the only way that it would like seriously change like how my life is how my life is going I guess and so even though I can't run track I get to focus on my school I have amazing friends I get to do all sorts of other stuff like my mom and I have gotten really into biking and so you kind of find those passions in different areas and it doesn't have to be the same one. I've been like open-minded on everything that I've been up to. So yeah. Yeah. Well, I think just taking it in terms of like everything happens,

you know, for you, not to you. And, and I'm sensing like maybe, you know, heightened purpose or a different purpose, like connects with like your accident and, you know, like, is there any, any way that purpose connects with it? Yeah, for sure. I guess even like if I'm on a run or doing stuff like that, like exercising, I just always think like, think about the times when you couldn't do this and then you get that much more gratitude towards everything that you do. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. And I asked you about purpose and that's, you know, the second practice, get clear on your purpose. You know, it sounds like your mom really kind of helped you see like this grateful perspective and this lucky perspective that you're so lucky that you lived. Tell us about how she's helped you just

like, you know, move through normal emotional reaction to something like this. And what has she said to you or what has she done that's helped you kind of choose this grateful perspective? So my mom and I have like a really close relationship. And I would say that helps a lot. Like she's, we've gone through everything in our lives together since we've been around, I guess. I would say that the way that she has helped me the most is not exactly what she has said to me, but just how she has raised me and shown me kind of how to act, leading by example. My mom is probably one of the most positive people. And like she, if I was ever having a down day or like getting down she'd go

Maddie let's just go for a bike ride you know let's go do something fun let's go for a walk let's do this um and I think that has really helped me to find other things that I can have passions for you know yeah she's always been there for me and has been awesome in leading yeah that's awesome and I think know, social support is so important in terms of like, yeah, an injury or you have a traumatic event like this, like somebody who's there for you, who's really going to help you. And you know, Maddie, when you think about like the moment in time when you were hit, right, like, in part of is part of that, you know, in the accident, and you said, you know, like, I mean,

I'm going to repeat back the phrases that you said to me is pretty, pretty phenomenal. You know, like, I was just lucky I had a car that protected you or protected me. I was just lucky that I had a cell phone that you could, you know, call for help. I was just lucky that someone was there to hold my hand. What are the skills you used in that moment? Kind of tell us about like your reaction in the moment and what skills you use to like not freak out. Yeah, so well, I guess it kind of comes back to like controlling your controllables. Those are all the things that I had set in place by, I guess, being responsible in a way, like having a charged phone and having my car that my parents provided for me. I would say I definitely had to take some deep breaths, calm myself down.

But also that was kind of like the same kind of skills that you would teach me and you know performing on the balance beam what I just been using in the state we are like starting to do my last faults um you know kind of even like living in the moment like this is what's happening and this is you have to react to this and try to react as best as you can, I guess. Wow. That's amazing. That's amazing. What do you feel like is your biggest take home? You know, like in terms of what did you learn kind of through the ACL injury and then, you know, this accident in terms of being hit by a drunk driver and, you know, breaking two of your legs, both of your legs. Like if you could, you could tell us like, what are, what are, what did you learn through this whole process your legs, both of your legs. Like, if you could, you could tell us, like,

what are, what did you learn through this whole process over the last couple of years? I would say that my main takeaway would be how much, like, more positive of a life you can create for yourself by, like, taking care of all of your, everything that happens to you, you know, reframing has definitely helped me through everything so much. Kind of choosing the path that you want and doing what you need to do to kind of get there. Like, I've had days that have been hard and where I don't want to, you know, work on getting myself better and stuff like that. But then you just always have to keep that end goal in mind and think about how all of your small goals, your daily goals, your weekly goals, your monthly goals all lead into your end goal of like the kind of person you want to be

and the kind of life you get to live. That's amazing that you can choose a positive perspective and choose the path that you get when you get there. When you think about like the difficult times you had, like what did you what did you do to like, you know, keep pushing and keep moving forward and not get stagnant, not not, you know, go into the downward spiral of depression? Like, what did you do in those moments to like keep moving forward? Like I can think about how um like again how lucky I was that it wasn't worse and how lucky I was that I was um you know like I've had so many people that have been able to help take care of me um and like even thinking about those people um and that they're like cheering me on still um that's like pretty inspiring and like

kind of living the life I want to live just when you get down you have to keep just remember like why you're doing what you're doing and what you want to get to but also in a way you have to you can let yourself get sad if you're sad sometimes not every day is going to be the best day but it's all about pushing forward through those amazing and when you think about the life that you want to live what's your standard um definitely being happy and then I I think about all the things that make me happy and like using that too and all the things that make me happy are the things I wanted in my life and a lot of like some of those were like exercise like family friends all that stuff and in order to have the best like active lifestyle the best relationships I had to really take care of my body my mentality to have the best relationships I can have, to have the best

probability of being able to be active. What is a big dream or goal you have that you can share, share with us so we can cheer you on towards that goal? And what's something you for sure want to do in your life? I really want to do a triathlon. Cool. So, yeah, I've always been a runner, but I can't exactly do super long distance anymore. So training for triathlons down the road, because I really love biking and running. So just got to get the swimming down, I guess. And what do you have to do with, like, your legs now?

Is there any modifications that you have to make because of the accident, like, when you're doing it? Yeah, so I actually still spend a lot of time doing physical therapy. I do that about three times a week just because keeping your your muscles strong and like um protects your knee a bunch so I have to do that a lot um I can't exactly do a lot of like jumping or um I can't do gymnastics anymore either but that's okay because I wasn't planning on doing gymnastics but I don't know. Like a lot of long distance is hard on my knee, just a lot of pounding. Absolutely. Absolutely. Well, you know, Maddie,

I want to thank you so much for just having the courage to share your story today. And I know that you inspired people out there, you know, who are listening. I think for me, the thing that stood out to me the most was like, you know, who are listening. I think for me, the thing that stood out to me the most was like, you know, if I counted the number of times you said lucky, you know, you know, this, this ACL injury, like set you up for these skills that you could use in, in, you know, being hit by a drunk driver, breaking both of your legs and, and then just like, you know, having to change your course

in terms of what you can compete in. And so, you know, the thing that stood out to me is that, you know, you said you're lucky that you had a car that protected you. You're lucky you had a cell phone. You're lucky that you have, you know, family and friends around you. You're lucky that you have these mental skills to kind of help you through the difficult times. So I just I'm so grateful that you shared your story with us listeners with a high performance mindset. And you can read about Maddie's story chapter 15 of Beyond Grit. So you can get your your copy over at beyondgrit.com. And if you'd like to get a copy of the 10 practices, you can head over to beyondgrit.com. And if you'd like to get a copy of the 10 practices, you can head over to beyondgrit.com slash practices. So Maddie, what kind of final message do you have for us?

I would say that having grit is awesome. Being gritty is the way to go. Awesome. That's perfect. Thank you so much for joining us today, Maddie. Yes, thank you for having me, Sindra. Thank you for listening to High Performance Mindset. If you liked today's podcast, make a comment, share it with a friend, and join the conversation on Twitter at Mentally Underscore Strong.

For more inspiration and to receive Sindra's free weekly videos, check out DrSindra.com.