High Performance Mindset | Learn from World-Class Leaders, Consultants, Athletes & Coaches about Mindset - 135: The Best Way to Talk to Yourself

Episode Date: September 27, 2017

“If you say, I can’t, you are restricting what you can do, or will ever do.” Michael Phelps. High performers are intentional with their self-talk. They talk to themselves in a powerful way. Reminding themselves that I can, I am, I will… My High Performance Power Phrase: I talk to myself, not listen. I think “I will . . . I can . . . I am . . .” to help me reach my wicked awesome potential.

Welcome to High Performance Mindset with Dr. Sindra Kampoff. Do you want to reach your full potential, live a life of passion, go after your dreams? Each week we bring you strategies and interviews to help you ignite your mindset. Let's bring on Sindra. Time for High Performance Mindset today on The Country Club with Dr. Sindra Kampoff. Good morning, Sindra. Good morning. It's great to be here. Good to have you back in today. And we're talking about, which chapter did you say this was? Chapter 14. 14 in the new book, which is everywhere.

You can't avoid it now. Congratulations on that. Thank you. Still just chugging along and got up on the local CBS affiliate up there. I want to go to New York when you go on the Today Show. I know. We'll be standing right behind the Iron Gate. We're Today Show fans. We'll hold books in the audience for you when we're on the show.

Okay. I will bring you when that happens. Right. There we go. We're Today Show fans. We'll hold books in the audience for you when we're on the show. How about that? I will bring you when that happens. Right? There we go. When it happens. When it happens. Today's topic is the best way to talk to yourself. Let's go with a quote there.

I see it starts with a guy that people may have heard of before. Yeah. I actually have two today. So this is by Michael Phelps. If you say I can't, you're restricting what you can do or will ever do. And then another one I think really ties in today. It's an anonymous quote, but this one is, I am are the most two powerful words for what you put after them shapes your destiny.

Wow. All right. So let's start with a good example today. What do you have? You know, when I think about one of the reasons that I got into this field, it's actually the stuff we're talking about today. And I was a really successful high school cross country athlete, got a scholarship to run in college, but it was there that I really struggled. And it had nothing to do with my talent, but everything to do with my

mindset. And, you know, one particular race is my junior year in college where I was really expected to make it and do great things. And I remember, you know, one race I got second behind this All-American and everyone was like, oh my gosh, Cinder, this is going to be your year. You know, it was kind of like I've arrived. And the next week, literally like seven days later, I dropped out of the race. And, you know, and then I had these crazy thoughts about, you know, gosh, I'm just a terrible runner. And, you know, I'm not going to make my goal of being the best I can in college and being an All-American.

And yeah, I just can't be successful at this level. So I just didn't really know how to take control of my mind. And that's kind of what fueled me to get into this field because it's like I had all this talent, but didn't know how to master this. Sure. And whatever area it is that you have your talent, if that's your job, your career, as a mother or a student or any of that stuff, it's that negative thinking I think we're trying to target today. So why is it that that thinking is so important to our success? Because a lot of us, it's easy to go through life

with the automatic negative thoughts, as you've mentioned before, and it just happens and you've got to counter it. So your mind simply becomes what you tell it, tell it the most. And what you think about, you create what you think about yourself, you become. So, you know, every thought actually had either conscious or unconscious has electrical impulses. And these impulses affect the way you feel, the way you act, your habits, what you create. And so what's really important is that training your mind is an automatic and it takes daily effort. We say it all the time, but it's really there's I mean, it's simple. That whole fake it till you make it kind of thing sounds sort of negative.

But just keep telling yourself, you know, I can and things like that. And and you'll get there if that's what you really, really want. So there's some powerful stats here that you're going to go over with us that I thought when we looked at them before we went on the air, I thought that is just crazy. So we have approximately 65,000 thoughts a day. That's a lot, first of all. That's a lot. So our mind is constantly going and that's why it's really important to take daily effort to train your mind. No matter if you're 15 years old or 80 years old, it's still something that's really important. 95% of the thoughts are the same that we had the day before. So our thoughts tend to be repeated.

And 80% of them are fueled by negativity. That is a crazy number. So something we call automatic negative thoughts. And you know, I think what I really like about that, that concept is that they're automatic, that everybody has them, everyone experiences them. So, you know, when I told my story at the beginning, you know, I'm guessing people related to that because people know what it's like to have negativity. And I think the thing is that's really important is that our thoughts direct everything we do.

And so it's really important that we talk to ourselves, that either we don't listen to that negativity or we talk back to it. So what are the kind of things we should avoid, the thoughts that we should avoid letting seep in? Well, the ones that you should not listen to or talk back to are things like, you know, I won't, I can't, I don't know how, I wish I could. And those don't lead to success because they're focused on what you don't have or what you can't do. So they're not focused on all the possibilities. And I have this picture here that's like 10% chance if we say things like I can't,

30% chance if we say I wish I could, 50% chance if we say I think I might. So the key is that either you just don't listen to it or talk back to it. So as these become a little bit more positive or they're at least not negative thoughts, your odds of success get better. What is the most powerful thought we can have? Well, there's three. Give us the best chance. Yeah, there's three that we're going to talk about today.

And what's key is as you're listening is like you have to believe what you're saying as well. So make sure that it's realistic. But one of the quickest ways to really be at your best and reach your potential is to change your thinking. So one of the best ways to talk to yourself is I will. And I will is a statement about what you will do. So it's kind of like your intention, what you intend to do.

You know, something that you want to make happen, something that you intend to make happen. You can kind of think about it as like a success prophecy. Okay. So anything that ends with I will. And so think about what do you want to do today? End it, you know, with that statement. So something like, you know, I will have a productive day. If you have a big game this weekend, I will play And so think about what do you want to do today? End it, you know, with that statement. So something like, you know, I will have a productive day. If you have a big game this

weekend, I will play big this weekend. Or I will be more loving and present with my family. So think of something that you want to do and end it with, end the statement I will. And so what is another powerful thought? Second powerful thought? Yeah, another powerful thought is I can. And I can is a statement about your potential. So, you know, it's a positive statement about your ability to achieve your goals. It's a belief in yourself and something that you can do. So think about a way that you can end I can. So I can do anything that I put my mind to, or I can run the ball fast, or I can reach the highest level of my field, or maybe there's a habit you want to stop, such as like, I can stop smoking.

So something that you can put behind that's really related to your goals. So use I can. And a third powerful thought? So this would be the most powerful way to talk to yourself. And that's I am. And I am is the most powerful because sometimes we just have to rediscover who we are. We forget. So I am is a statement about who you are, what already exists inside you.

And the key is to kind of take an inventory of what your strengths are. You know, who are you? And again, sometimes we just have to remind ourselves of who we are and what makes us unique, what makes us you. So, you know, some of my I am statements are I'm authentic. I'm passionate. Other ones could be, you know, I'm a resilient. I keep going despite obstacles. I'm gritty. You know, I'm passionate other ones could be you know, I'm a resilient. I keep going despite obstacles. I'm gritty, you know, I'm committed

The key is is you know, I will I can I am is the most powerful way to talk to yourself That's what's going to lead to success And so when the automatic negative thoughts come in You can either talk back to it in one of these ways or just you know, not believe it And what's your final point final point is commit this week to improving your self-talk and think I can, I will, I am. Those are simple, but I call them power phrases because the impact is really profound. And, you know, even when you get to wherever you are, wherever you're driving to, or if you're listening at work, take out a piece of paper and just write I will, I can, I am.

And just finish those statements and just repeat those throughout your day. It might be like a good thing to add to like a gratitude journal or something. Absolutely. Yeah. Keep a list. End with those kind of statements in your gratitude journal.

Every chapter in my book, I end with a power phrase, which is something like this. It starts with I am, I will, I can. And this is all part of the book. It's one of the chapters, kind of all packaged up nicely for you there if you want to get it in book form.

But if we're summarizing the topic today, and this is a good one, how do we do that? High performers are intentional with their self-talk. They talk to themselves in a powerful way, no matter how old they are, and they remind themselves, I can, I will, and I am.

Perfect. And the power phrase for today that we're going to use. I talk to myself, not listen. I think, I will, I can, I am. Perfect. And the power phrase for today that we're going to use. I talk to myself, not listen. I think I will, I can, I am to reach my awesome, wicked potential. Yeah. There we go. We went a little Boston on it today, but I like it. Wicked, awesome potential right there.

There we go. Yes. On the text line, what a great way to start a rainy Monday. Thanks, Cindra. Nice. So we appreciate that text. And for everybody listening into high performance mindset. If we want to get the book, want to follow along,

listen to the podcasts, do social media, whatever it is to get the little gold nuggets that Cindra has for us. How do we do that? You can head over to beyond grit to get the book beyond grit.com. And then my podcast is actually on my, my website. Go to drcindra.com. All right. Cinder Kampoff with us today. Thank you so much. Thanks for having me. Absolutely. Every Monday morning, 7.30 here with High Performance Mindset on The Country Club with Cinder Kampoff on Minnesota 93. Thank you for

listening to High Performance Mindset. If you like today's podcast, make a comment, share it with a friend, and join the conversation on Twitter at Mentally Underscore Strong. For more inspiration and to receive Cindra's free weekly videos, check out DrSindra.com.