High Performance Mindset | Learn from World-Class Leaders, Consultants, Athletes & Coaches about Mindset - 139: Trust the Process

Episode Date: October 21, 2017

“Trust the process. We always end up right where we’re meant to be. Right when we’re meant to be there.” Anonymous High performers focus on the process to be successful. They execute the process daily and stay focus on the fundamentals. They give their best effort in the present moment. Trust themselves and their plan. High Performance Power Phrase: I trust the process. I put in the work necessary for success.

Welcome to High Performance Mindset with Dr. Sindra Kampoff. Do you want to reach your full potential, live a life of passion, go after your dreams? Each week we bring you strategies and interviews to help you ignite your mindset. Let's bring on Sindra. It is time for High Performance Mindset today on The Country Club with Dr. Sindra Kampoff. Good morning, Sindra. Good morning. It's great to be here this Monday morning. I saw you had a very active day yesterday with the Vikings game and the Twin Cities Marathon. I know. It was fun. And then the day before, my kids went to the Ninja Warrior course in the cities.

Fun? Whoa, totally fun. That's awesome. I'd like to try that out sometime, but I have rotator cuffs that don't allow me to do that. I was wanting to try it, but no adults were, so maybe next time. Well, we have a great topic for today. I don't know for sure if we've talked about this before. We're talking, now, don't get us wrong, folks.

This isn't necessarily math, but it is an equation, a formula for success. Right. Something you call E plus R equals O. We'll talk about that in a second. First, we'd like to start with that quote of the day we usually start with. This is a quote by John Wooden. He said, the more concerned we become over the things we can't control, the less we will do with the things we can control. So we have an example to start with there.

Well, you know, the way that you started today's segment, I actually think that there's a lot of ways that we could apply this, just given kind of what's going on in the world today. So I want you to think kind of globally of like how you're reacting to all of these things like the hurricanes or these disasters. But I'm also going to share a personal story because I think you can apply today's concept to yourself. And I just started running again and I had taken some time off during the book launch just because it was really busy. And as I got back into it, I was really closely paying attention to my inner dialogue. So my own self-talk. And what I realized is I was really closely paying attention to my inner dialogue, so my own self-talk. And what I realized is I was giving myself a lot of excuses why I hadn't got back to start again. And so, for example, I was thinking to myself, well, I have a busy career. I have two kids.

You know, one excuse I gave to myself was, oh, it's just going to be so hard. You know, it's not going to be as enjoyable. It's just going to be hard to get back and running again. And then I realized one night in the middle of the night i woke up and i was like oh my gosh cindra you do things that are hard you're gritty right you know and by the way if everybody who had a busy career you know and and and two kids if they all use that excuse no one would exercise right and so the point is is that if that was really true, everyone with a busy life wouldn't be out exercising. So this directly connects to what we're going to be talking about today is like no more excuses and how to dominate your response or your R. All right. Let's talk about this formula then. What exactly is it? So E plus R equals O.

So the event plus your response equals the outcome. Okay, so the event plus response equals the outcome. And I first read about this equation in Jack Canfield's book, Success Principles. And then I saw it on several shirts yesterday at the Twin Cities Marathon. And so basically what this means is that, you know, in sport, in business and in life, we can't control the event, the E. We can't control what happens to us or around us. You know, we can't control the event, the E. We can't control what happens to us or around us. We can't control these national disasters. We can't control rude customers, a frustrated family member, a call by an official.

Sometimes if we get sick or if we get ill or we get injured, right? But we can't control our response, which is the R. And so the only way to impact the outcome is to change your response is the R in the middle. Listening kids. And adults. Yes. I'm thinking of some kids in particular, but I just had to shout that. Sorry, it was sort of a moment there.

No, I got it. So why is this response to this equation E plus R equals O, why is that so important? Well, because of the word choice, because we choose how we respond in the moment and we choose how we respond to the event. So we can either choose to focus kind of on our limiting thoughts, which I gave you an example of mine, or, you know, our actions, our feelings that don't help us. Or we can focus on giving ourselves the best chance of success and reaching our goals. So we can change our response. And that might include changing your reaction, changing your thinking, your communication, your limiting beliefs, maybe even your image of yourself. But if you want to change the outcome, really all you can do is change your response. So that reminds me of, and I have a perfect hockey analogy for that.

It's always the second guy. The whole thing. It's always the second guy. Something happens to you. That's a good football one, too. Yeah. You commit a penalty. It's always the second guy. The whole thing. It's always the second guy. Something happens to you. That's a good football one, too. Yeah. You commit a penalty. It's always the second guy that gets caught.

Yeah. Exactly. It's always the guy that retaliates. Exactly. That ends up in the box. Exactly. Exactly. And then the second guy might say, you know, it's not my fault.

Right? Yeah. Yeah. So I'm assuming that this is a topic because it's not something we all always do. But what do most people end up doing? Most people, when they don't like the outcome, they choose to blame somebody else or something else for the event, you know, for their lack of results. So it might be, you know, we blame the economy or the weather or the lack of money we have for the lack of education. Or maybe we might even blame administration in Washington.

No, that doesn't happen, Cindy. No, it doesn't happen. I never hear that. Nobody ever talks about politics anymore. Never. Or we might blame the official in the game or our wife or a husband or a boss's attitude. If you're an athlete, you've likely blamed the ref or the other team. So just think about yourself. Maybe when's the last time you've blamed one of these things for an outside event or an event that really you could have controlled your response? I can see all of that. Are there any other things

that we might do that we can maybe try to take notice of when we don't own our own response? I think the key is just notice your own limiting thoughts and your own kind of self-defeating behaviors. And, you know, I gave that example of myself at the beginning because, you know, we all have limiting thoughts and beliefs. And so, you know, just the key is to be, you know, be aware of, you know, if you, for example, other things I see people get in their way is when we fail to continually educate ourselves, where we waste time on like trivial things happening, or we engage in gossip, or we wonder why it's kind of not working for us, we ignore people's feedback. So sometimes, you know, these are habits that we are tough to break, but that that's what's that's really what owning your response is all about.

All right, so what do you do instead? I would say you should own your R. So own your response. And that's really what leads to success. Yeah, I did it. Just skate to the box, right? There we go. There we go. There we go. Which I've seen. Which you've seen. And, you know, the R is really the deciding factor in your success. It's not the external conditions or circumstances. It's really how you choose to respond. And just think about it. If,

you know, if it was the external circumstances, then no one would ever be successful, right? Like no one would ever succeed. But, you know, really, there's thousands of people who've already, you know, made that happen. There's thousands of people who exercise regularly. There's thousands of people who, despite adversity, can win the game. Right. So tell us a little bit more about what successful people do. I'd say successful people take a different approach and they simply change their response until they get the outcome that they want. And I think it's really important that, you know, each of us understand that we really create the quality of our lives. And so we can change our

thinking, our communication, our beliefs, our behavior, you know, whatever is holding us back and just pay attention to the habits that we kind of fall victim to and gain control of our thoughts, our dreams, our behaviors. I like this topic. It's a good one. And I love that it came up at the marathon yesterday because the greatest of all uncontrollables was in play big time yesterday. The weather.

The weather. Absolutely. The weather. Some people were okay. It was just kind of a moist morning that they got through in a quick fashion. And those that took a little bit longer had to deal with heavy downpour a little bit later on and probably some nasty toenails today. I'm not going to lie. Probably.

So how do we summarize today's topic, Cendra? This equation E plus R equals O. So high performers, those people who are working to reach their greater potential, They focus on things they can control. They realize they can't control the event, only their response. And they can change their thinking, their beliefs, their behavior to give themselves the best chance of success to influence the outcome. And when they get frustrated at the outcome, they know they can own their response. And what is today's power phrase to wrap things up? I own my response. I take control of my destiny. All right. I need to get back into,

I've been letting the podcast stack up here and I've just got to get around to listening to some more of them. I've seen some great responses on Twitter from some folks that you've interviewed and some great topics that are going to be covered. I just kind of like to let them stack up and use them while I'm running. And if folks are thinking the same thing, I want to listen to them on the way to work or I just want to, you know, anytime really is a good time to be listening to these podcasts and following along with Cindra. There's so much going on. What's the best way for us to keep in touch with you? Probably the best way is you can head over to iTunes and search High Performance Mindset.

That's where you can go ahead and get the podcast and subscribe to it. And then the book, which I talk a little bit about this in the book in Chapter 15, I think, about controlling the controllables, which is really what we talked about today. That's Beyond the Grit, and you can go to beyondthegrit.com to check that out. All right. Sindra with us today. Dr. Sindra Kampoff, High Performance Mindset on The Country Club. Thank you so much. Thanks for having me today. Appreciate it. Thank you for listening to High Performance Mindset. If you like today's podcast, make a comment, share it with a friend, and join the conversation on Twitter at Mentally Underscore

Strong. For more inspiration and to receive Sindra's free weekly videos, check out DrSindra.com.