High Performance Mindset | Learn from World-Class Leaders, Consultants, Athletes & Coaches about Mindset - 151: Choose Courage Over Fear

Episode Date: January 1, 2018

High performers know that fear lives in the future and is self-created. High performers choose to feel the fear, flex their courage muscle, and stay engaged in the present moment to stay gritty, grow and learn. They do things that are scary to reach high performance. This Week’s Power Phrase: I choose courage over fear. I flex my courage muscle, take a deep breath in and go for it! Dr. Cindra Kamphoff is a Certified Mental Performance Consultant, Speaker and Author. She provide mental training for the Minnesota Vikings along with many other college and high school sport teams. Cindra speaks to businesses and organizations on how to gain the high performance edge while providing practical strategies that work. Her clients range from Verizon Wireless to Mayo Clinic Health System. Cindra's first book: Beyond Grit: Ten Powerful Practices to Gain the High Performance Edge was published in August. Her Ph.D. is in sport and performance psychology and she is a Professor in Performance Psychology at Minnesota State University. To book Cindra for your next speaking event, visit: cindrakamphoff.com For more information about Cindra's book, visit: beyondgrit.com 

Welcome to High Performance Mindset with Dr. Sindra Kampoff. Do you want to reach your full potential, live a life of passion, go after your dreams? Each week we bring you strategies and interviews to help you ignite your mindset. Let's bring on Sindra. All right, here we go with High Performance Mindset with Dr. Sindra Kampoff today. Thank you for coming in today, Sindra. It's great to be here. I like choose courage over fear. This is one of those things that I know I've said to my kids before.

I've often thought to myself about it as well. And we'll start with a quote, as we always do on today's topic. This is a quote by Ambrose Redmond. It is this. Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the decision that something else is more important than fear. All right. Now, good example to go along with that today. You always bring that along.

Yeah. You know, usually when I come on on Monday mornings, I'm always thinking about like what inspired me during the week. And this week I had a conversation with a pro football player that really kind of stuck with me for several days. And we were talking about his best and what his best looks like and feels like. And he used words like fast and confident and aggressive and having a clear mind, right? Like nothing in his mind, just really empty. And then when I asked him quickly, you know, he could answer this question when I said, you know, what gets in your way of you being at your best? And it was like he said very quickly fear, you know, and he knew it, but he didn't really know what to do about it. And he said fear of making a mistake, fear of disappointing others, fear of really fear of the future. And

he's really similar to all of us in that I think that fear is the number one thing that gets in our way. It gets in our way of going after our dreams and playing big in the moment. And I don't just mean in sports, but I mean, you know, in our life. And instead of fear, what we're talking about today is really choosing courage in the present. All right. So let's define fear here then because I'm thinking of several different,

like you mentioned, at a professional football level, fear. And I'm thinking of like everyday things where someone's like, try this. And people are like, no, no, no, no, I'm okay. And what's that quote where they say sometimes all you need is 20 seconds of whatever, like insane courage.

Yeah, nice, perfect. Just embarrassing courage or whatever. So choosing courage over fear. That's one of my favorite quotes because I'm like, look, I know you might think you might get embarrassed, but what if you do it and it's fun? And it works. And it works. Or you learn something or whatever. So let's define fear.

So it can come in many different forms. And really when we feel it, it can stop us dead in our tracks. It can really paralyze us. And so we might experience fear of failure, like losing a game or making a mistake or letting other people down. But we're tending to worry about things that we can't control. And so we can build fear up in our mind. And so when I'm watching sports or when I'm watching any type of performance, I'm looking a lot at the person's face. And you can see it in their eyes because their eyes get really glossy. And then their body gets tight and not relaxed.

So I think that's the way that you can see it in others, but also being aware of when it's happening to you and when you feel it. So we all experience fear. It happens to everybody. Obviously, you mentioned a professional football player. Many of us, maybe when someone throws a microphone in front of your face, you might freak out a little bit. There we go. Is that something that's just built into us? Why is that?

Why does that happen? You know, years ago, the fear that we experienced was actually really helpful for us. It kept us alive. And the fear was our way, our body's way of signaling danger. It kept us alert so that we wouldn't get killed by animals or saber-toothed tigers. And we needed the fear to stay alive. So a few things that's really important is to know that it's natural, that we're all human. But most of the fear we experience today is not life-threatening. Most of it is just what we create in our mind.

All right. So some of us have a harder time dealing with that than others. So how do those high performers relate to fear when it happens to them? You know, what I mean by high performance is those people who are working to reach their best and they choose courage instead of fear. They're going to feel it. So meaning like you're going to feel the fear, but they don't let them, don't let the fear stop them from doing what they want to do or they have to do or what they feel like they were designed to do. And, you know, high performers know that fear means that they're really doing something important and meaningful and they should go for it when they feel it.

All right. So you have, this is difficult for me to say, say this 10 times fast. Right. You have four fear facts that you want to go over today. The four fear facts. Four fear facts. What's the first one? Okay.

So the first one, and you know, why I thought this would be meaningful is because whenever I speak on this on you choosing courage instead of fear, I put these four fear facts up and everyone writes them down because this is something we all experience. So number one, fear fact, is that fear is in the future. So everything that you fear is really self-created

and you're just fantasizing about your future in a negative way. Like what's going to happen to me? Exactly. You're thinking about like the worst case scenario. And so what's really important is to know that it's in the future. And what you fear is not real. It's your imagination. What's the second?

The second one is choosing courage over fear is going to feel way better. So it's going to feel better than living with the fear, denying the fear. And we've talked about this before on Mondays. Courage is really feeling the fear and then choosing to act bravely instead. Courage requires fear. There's no need to be courageous if you don't fear something. And so you need the fear to act in a courageous way. And it's going to feel better than refusing to take risks or playing small. All right.

How about the third? The third one is fear will always be there when you're trying something new or growing. And so, you know, fear applies to everyone. In fact, when you're trying something new, that's when you're going to feel it likely. And so when you're going after a new goal or stretching yourself in some way. So it's like whenever you push yourself emotionally or physically, the fear can set in. And so I'll give you an example. A few years ago, I was working with a triathlete who really feared the swim, and especially competing in the swim, and everyone hitting him while he was swimming. And so, you know, he had this fear

that he was going to drown during the competition, but he knew it was like irrational, because he was a really good swimmer. And so what, what his courageous moment was, was practicing with other people, you know, that he could be hit like while he was practicing, like hit by other people's bodies and also getting better at the swim. And so he could have, you know, let that stopped him and said, yeah, I can't, I can't do triathlons. And so, you know, your fear might be something like that, or the fear of asking your boss for a raise or, you know, the fear of making the call to change your business. So what is the last fear fact? The fear fact is to reach your best, to reach high performance, you got to do what scares you.

And so what I mean by this is the very thing that you fear can provide you the greatest growth experience and that you're going to benefit the most from. So doing what scares you will actually allow you to address the fear. And so the key is to not let the fear stop you, but to, you know, help stay courageous in the present and move forward towards your big dreams. So as everything else that we talk about, it's a lot about self-awareness and realizing how we feel. How do we become aware of our own fears? Good question. So, you know, one of the prompts that I would encourage you to write, like I encourage you to write this down or think about this as you're driving

or wherever you're listening to this is, how would you answer, if I wasn't afraid, I would? And that gives you more awareness of what your fear is. So, you know, if I wasn't afraid, I would compete in Ironman. I would submit my resume for a new job.

I would go skydiving. Right. That's one of the things I want to do. I delegate part of my job to someone else's. I would go after that big goal in my sport. I'd start a new business. And then once you're aware of that, the key is to act courageously in the moment, but stay in the present. And don't be afraid to fail, right? Because people say oftentimes they learn the most from their failures. So maybe you throw out the courage and you get out there and go, I'm going to do it and it doesn't quite go the way you thought.

Then, so what? It's going to feel better than holding yourself back. At least you tried, right? At least you gave it a try. So how do we summarize this topic today? This is a good one. So I'd say high performers, those people who are working to reach their best, they know that fear lives in the future and it's self-created. And high performers choose to feel the fear, but they, they know that fear lives in the future and it's self-created.

And high performers choose to feel the fear, but they flex their courage muscles, stay in the present and go for it so they can stay gritty and grow and learn. And they do the things that are scary to reach their best. All right. And power phrase for this week to live by. I choose courage over fear.

I flex my courage muscle, take a deep breath and go for it. Awesome. Is choose courage over fear a chapter in my courage muscle, take a deep breath, and go for it. Awesome. Is choose courage over fear a chapter in your book? Yes. All right. Many great chapters. And refresh your memory and what we just talked about.

How do we get that book? So you can go to beyondgrit.com, or it's also on Amazon. All right. And if we want to get in touch with you or follow along on social media? Yep. You can head over to drCindra.com. And I probably spend most of my time on social media on Twitter. Sure.

So you can follow me there and mentally underscore strong. Excellent. Good stuff today as you get your day started on a Monday to choose courage over fear with Dr. Cindra Kampoff today. Thanks, Cindra. Thanks for having me. Always appreciate it. Thank you for listening to High Performance Mindset. If you liked today's podcast,

make a comment, share it with a friend, and join the conversation on Twitter at Mentally Underscore Strong. For more inspiration and to receive Sindra's free weekly videos, check out DrSindra.com.