High Performance Mindset | Learn from World-Class Leaders, Consultants, Athletes & Coaches about Mindset - 173: How to Stay Positive in a Negative World

Episode Date: April 12, 2018

“If you change the way you look at things, the thing you look at change.” Wayne Dyer High performers choose positivity in a negative world so they thrive. They use reframing daily which is the process of recreating alternative frames or looking at their life, sport, or the world. They see how the obstacle is helping me. This helps them feel unstoppable and excited about their life, sport, and job. My High Performance Power Phrase:  "I choose positivity. I choose to bring positive energy each day and in each situation. I choose to focus on what is great in my life and on my team."   Dr. Cindra Kamphoff is a Certified Mental Performance Consultant, Speaker and Author. She provide mental training for the Minnesota Vikings along with many other championships teams. She coaches athletes, CEOs and executives one-on-one to help them learn and apply the mental tools that lead to success. Cindra also speaks to and works with businesses and organizations on how to gain the high performance edge while providing practical tools that work. Her clients range from Verizon Wireless to Mayo Clinic Health System. Cindra's first book: Beyond Grit: Ten Powerful Practices to Gain the High Performance Edge was published in August. Her Ph.D. is in sport and performance psychology and she is a Professor in Performance Psychology at Minnesota State University. To book Cindra for your next speaking event or learn more about her one-on-one coaching, visit: cindrakamphoff.com For more information about Cindra's book, visit: beyondgrit.com

Welcome to High Performance Mindset with Dr. Sindra Kampoff. Do you want to reach your full potential, live a life of passion, go after your dreams? Each week we bring you strategies and interviews to help you ignite your mindset. Let's bring on Sindra. Sindra in with us. Good morning, Sindra. Good morning. It's great to be here. Well, how was your drive? Yep. I just took it nice and slow and didn't feel pressure by any of the other cars around me. Oh, good, good, good.

Just took it nice and slow. A little slippery, but nice and slow. All right. Well, let's talk a little bit about our topic today, which I love. I was listening to a podcast the other day, and they were kind of mentioning this and some ways to stay positive in a negative world. Sometimes it does feel like the world is negative. Especially if you're noticing the negative and focusing on that. So that's what we're going to talk about today. And I'm going to start with a quote by Wayne Dreyer. And he said, if you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. Oh, I like that. That's good. You've got an example to start out. I do. You know, I want to give a shout out to the LeSueur Public Library for having me on Thursday

night. They had me at this author event where people from all over the community could come together and they could hear me. I talked about how I wrote Beyond Grit and I shared a few of my favorite practices from Beyond Grit, the book. And you know what was amazing, Lisa? I think it was probably one of my top life events. Really? It was amazing because all these people came out and just wanted to learn more about how I wrote the book.

And it was amazing. And I had these great conversations with people. A lot of people said, hear you every Monday morning, and I don't miss, you know, the spot on TJ and Lisa. And then a few people asked me some things like, Oh, hey, could you talk about this? Could you talk about this? And this is one of the topics that someone asked me to talk about today. Okay, there's a lot of negativity at work in the workplace. And I think if you turn on the TV, there's a lot of negativity. And also, as you're driving in And if you live in Minnesota And you're listening today

Well I know I mean people are Oh the weather Exactly There is a lot of that In our own heads too Yes Oh my gosh

I'm not good enough I'm not smart enough I'm not thin enough I'm not Yes So there's a lot of that going How do you start Thinking positive

Yeah good question. So I'd say like nothing really needs to happen for you to be positive. It's not necessarily an event. And so being positive is really a state of mind. And so what research shows us is that only 10 percent of our happiness is determined by things outside of ourselves. OK, 10 percent. We're in control of 90 percent. Absolutely.

And so, you know, I think sometimes we let our circumstances impact our attitude, but really, you know, just empowering ourselves that we do have control over that and that we can create positive energy no matter our circumstances by creating our focus and, you know, creating a positive focus, which leads to positive emotions. Why is positivity so important? You know, a lot of research shows that for us to flourish, to feel like we're alive, we need about a 75% positivity ratio, which basically means like a three to one ratio, three positive emotions to one negative. And this research is based on a woman named Barbara Fredrickson, her research and the upward bound is 30 to one. So basically that means is like we could use a lot of positivity. Right.

But we also know only 20 percent of people are above this ratio. So only 20 percent of us have a three to one ratio. And here's what the research shows is that, you know, for high performing teams to be a high performer, you need an 85 percent ratio. So this is like, you need an 85% ratio. So this is like in the workplace, this is on your sport team. And marriages, for them to thrive, they need an 82% positivity ratio. Wow. Yeah, I was thinking about that.

I could up mine. As I watch my husband install a door in our house and I'm like, oh boy, here we go. You had to stay positive. He did a great job. I had to leave the house actually. So what's the first way we can stay positive in a negative world? So I would say make a choice to be positive every day and a decision. And I think it's a decision we have to make daily. So our circumstances don't need to determine how positive we are. We can make it a personal choice by just noticing, you know, when we're focusing on the negative, when we're feeling really in a negative or disempowering way, and we can change our focus. And so, you know, it needs to be something that we notice.

And even, you know, despite the negative news or politics or negative people at work, we can choose positive. How do we do that? There is always something that seems like there's something negative around. There is, especially if we choose to pay attention to it. So the first thing I would say is to remember that our focus determines our feelings. Okay, so our focus determines our feelings. So if we want to change how we feel, the best way to do that is to change our focus. So for example, you know, think about the one thing that's maybe bothering you right now,

that's maybe negative in your life, or you choose, you end up seeing kind of more of the negative. And I want you to ask these questions, or just think about these questions. You know, are you focusing on what's right in that situation? Or are you focusing on what's wrong? You know, and maybe just by shifting it to think about what makes me lucky to have this job or to have these kids or to have this family or to have this house instead of what's bothering you about it? Or what can you treasure about your circumstances instead of what could be different? So it's really about a focus. What's another way that we can stay positive? So yesterday around the kitchen table, we were talking about my radio spot. Right. And we were talking about this focus. What's another way that we can stay positive? So yesterday around the kitchen table, we were talking about my radio spot and we were talking about this topic and my Blake,

he's a third grade and he's like, mom, you should talk about reframing. It's all about changing your lens, changing your thinking. So I'm giving a shout out to him. He's listening. But that's the second tool is we can use reframing, which basically means we can we can choose to see our circumstances in a different lens. And so, you know, the world is what you make out of it. So you can change your lens at any time. And so, for example, you know, like let's say you think that you have a terrible boss. You can choose to see it as a situation where you're growing and you're learning. And so you can change any kind of setback and see it as a comeback or any

difficulty as an opportunity. It's just all about your lens and what are you paying attention to. All right, give us some examples of when we can use reframing. You can use it anytime that you have an automatic negative thought or you're really paying attention to the negative. So gosh, it's snowy and you have to drive. So the way I would reframe that is, man, it's going to feel pretty awesome here when it's 50 or 60 later on this week, right? That's how I'm reframing it today. I can't change it. Or you can reframe it when your coworkers are negative.

You know, maybe you didn't get the job that you applied for. You just wake up and you're in a cranky mood. You know, it's typically kind of what I was saying about, you know, are you noticing what's right or what's wrong? So how do we actually go through the process of reframing something? So we've got that negative thought. How do we reframe that? I would say the key is to kind of step back and just consider a different frame or lens. So instead of ignoring the difficulty, how can you see it from a different perspective?

And how can you see it from a different perspective? And, you know, how can you see it in a different lens? You know, so all the negative events or obstacles we experience, we can change to see it in a different way. Maybe it's a way for us to learn more about ourselves or, you know, our desire to reach our goals. So we can, you know, view any difficulty in a different lens. How would you summarize today? I would say that high performers, those people who are working to reach their greater potential, which is you because you wouldn't be listening. They choose positive and they choose the positivity in a negative world so they can thrive. And they use reframing every day to change their lens. So they're looking at the great things in their life or their sport and their world. And they see these obstacles as helping them. And this makes them feel unstoppable

and excited about their life and their work and their family and their sport. Do you have a power phrase for us today to think about as we move forward? I do. This is from the positivity chapter in my book. Here it goes. I choose positivity. I choose to bring positive energy each day and in every situation. I choose to focus on what is great in my life and on my team. I like it. Choose positivity. Awesome. We are in control. We are in control.

And you know what we thought, kind of given what the people at LeSore County, all the great ideas they gave me to talk about, we thought today we could encourage people to text on the text line with any topics they're interested. Do you want to say more? Yeah, absolutely. If you have any thoughts or, hey, I wish Cindra would talk about this or that, you can text it into us, and we will certainly pass that on to her. Our text line, 507-625-9393.

And we'll pass all those ideas on to Cindra. Absolutely. And you can always shoot me an email too, Cindra. What's your email? Yeah, cindra at cindracampoff.com. Or if you just Google Cindra, you'll find me somewhere. Cindra K, you'll find me. email too at syndra. What's your email? Yeah, syndra at syndracampoff.com. Or if you just Google Syndra, you'll find me somewhere. Syndra K, you'll find me. All right.

All right. Yeah, because I like that. People actually giving their input as far as what they want to hear about, what they want to learn a little bit more about. Today, it's about positivity. And how do we find you? Social media wise? Yep.

You can head over to Twitter. That's where I am most of the time on social media and i'm at mentally underscore strong and you can learn more about the book at beyondgrit.com use the code free ship all one word to get free shipping on the book and workbook if you'd like that sounds great thanks for having me much good to see you in and uh drive careful i will yeah thank you for listening to High Performance Mindset. If you liked today's podcast, make a comment, share it with a friend, and join the conversation on Twitter at Mentally Underscore Strong. For more inspiration and to receive Sindra's free weekly videos,

check out DrSindra.com.