High Performance Mindset | Learn from World-Class Leaders, Consultants, Athletes & Coaches about Mindset - 174: Dominate the Controllables

Episode Date: April 17, 2018

“When you complain, you make yourself a victim. Leave the situation. Change the situation or accept it. All else is madness.” Eckhart Tolle High performers dominate their APE. They focus on what they can control – their attitude, preparation and effort and dominate their reaction to what they cannot control. They choose a positive perspective. They prepare full out and are all in to their pursuit of their long-term goals. They use the 86,400 seconds in each day to their fullest capacity. They give their best day in and day out. My High Performance Power Phrase: "I dominate my APE. I give my best attitude, preparation, and effort day in and day out."   Dr. Cindra Kamphoff is a Certified Mental Performance Consultant, Speaker and Author. She provide mental training for the Minnesota Vikings along with many other championships teams. She coaches athletes, CEOs and executives one-on-one to help them learn and apply the mental tools that lead to success. Cindra also speaks to and works with businesses and organizations on how to gain the high performance edge while providing practical tools that work. Her clients range from Verizon Wireless to Mayo Clinic Health System. Cindra's first book: Beyond Grit: Ten Powerful Practices to Gain the High Performance Edge was published in August. Her Ph.D. is in sport and performance psychology and she is a Professor in Performance Psychology at Minnesota State University. To book Cindra for your next speaking event or learn more about her one-on-one coaching, visit: cindrakamphoff.com For more information about Cindra's book, visit: beyondgrit.com

Welcome to High Performance Mindset with Dr. Sindra Kampoff. Do you want to reach your full potential, live a life of passion, go after your dreams? Each week we bring you strategies and interviews to help you ignite your mindset. Let's bring on Sindra. It's time for High Performance Mindset on the Country Club with Dr. Sindra Kampoff. Good morning, Sindra. Good morning. It's great to be here. I see my wife must have been texting you last night because today's topic

is just spot on. I figured you might choose this one. Yeah, because I got in here this morning. I'll be a little late. Yeah. These guys were crabby. They were crabby. Now we're staring down at, you know, up the hill at Wednesday here on the calendar and it's not helping at all.

All right. So let's just get into it. Oh, man. And it certainly is an appropriate topic for Out East today as well. Yes, it all. All right, so let's just get into it. Oh, man. And it certainly is an appropriate topic for Out East today as well. Yes, it is. Dominate the controllables. And I'm going to mouth this along with you word for word as you say it in hopes that I can burn it into my brain because I need to be better at this. I need to. What do you got? This is a quote from Eckhart Tolle. He said, when you complain, you make yourself a victim.

Either leave the situation, change the situation, or accept it. All else is madness. Oh, wait, though. You opened a window right there. Leave the situation. You're saying there's a chance.

I was a little salty this weekend. There's no lying about that. I was not excited about the snow. And of course, we always start with an example. And then we're not even going to use this weekend in Minnesota. We're going to use today specifically as an example. So today actually is the Boston Marathon. So shout out to all the runners who are going to be starting in a few hours. You know, I've had the privilege of running it five times, many times where we call in from the starting line, right? And so there's so many things that we can control about that race. The weather actually is supposed to be really, really cold and windy and not great temperatures and conditions for the runners.

So I think 15 mile per hour headwind. And you can't control the course. It's a tough course, 13 miles downhill. And then you have like six or so up to Heartbreak Hill. And then you still got more to go, right? Five years ago, we were there. That was during the Boston Marathon bombing. So obviously, you know, just being there is something that we couldn't control, but we could control our reaction to it. So, you know, given Boston Marathon today, given that we had, what, 11 inches of snow here in Minnesota this weekend,

I thought this topic would be really important because I had to remind myself of it all weekend. Yeah, I know. As I was getting stuck in the parking lot at the grocery store with my cart full of groceries. I couldn't even get to my car. Oh, my gosh. All right, so there's a lot to go on here today.

How does this and what does this have to do with our topic for today? So high performers in sport, business, and in life, they focus on what they can control. They dominate the controllables. And this is actually an essential part of us reaching our best, of our reaching our potential. And, you know, it's simple. It's a simple concept to wrap your brain around, but very, very difficult to practice every day. And, you know, you could, as we're talking about this, you could kind of like think about a circle on the board. And we're going to talk about the things that we can't control outside that circle. And then we're going to talk about what we can control inside the circle.

I remember this way back when you first started doing classes, when you opened up the center and before the book. And we were new to this on the radio. And we came to a class and sat down and we did the circle thing. It was a very eye-opening deal. And I knew that I was the kind of person that was going to need to be better about this. And I think I've gotten better, but clearly I'm not. Well, it's something we have to practice every day, right?

And so I think that's why it's so hard is because there are so many things that we can't control in life and in sport and in business, and it's really easy to return our attention to that. So let's talk about things that we do not have control over. Okay, so I'll name a few, and then maybe both of you can add. So obviously we can't control the weather or the environment around us at work. We can influence it.

We can't control it. We can't control our boss, our coaches, or our colleagues, or our teammates, or our spouse, or our friends. We can't control other people's actions, thoughts, or feelings. We can't control our kids. In sport, we can't control the conditions or the officials or the refs. We can't control all of these things. What else?

Can you think of anything else? Oh, my gosh. You named all the ones that I thought of. Other drivers. Other drivers. Other drivers. We can't control politics or regulations that you know, that might come from the government that might impact our job.

Sure. A few other things we can't control. All right. So tell us a little bit more why it's important that we don't focus on those things that we can't control. So inside the circle, which we can control, is foundational to our happiness, our performance, and our potential. And so, you know, I have a great privilege of working with pro athletes,

and this is actually what I see when I work with them. Let's say if they just come into the league and they meet with me, if they're focusing on things they can't control, like coaches' decisions or playing time or even haters on Twitter, guess what? Usually it's their last season, and they might go to other teams, but usually they're gone. So it's really foundational to them being at their best.

I think about it as like for every minute they're focusing on something they can't control is one less minute and they're in the league. I think how that equates to us is for every minute we focus on things we can't control, one less minute that we're happy. And I actually think it's one less dollar that we're earning because we're not being productive. So foundational. So what can we control? So what we can control, I'm going to put it down to this acronym called APE. We can control our attitude. We can decide in every minute what our attitude is going to be and our reaction to the things that we can't control. And so, you know, is the kind of attitude that you're using today, is it moving you closer or further away from your goals? We can also control our preparation.

And, you know, there's about, well, exactly 86,400 seconds in a day, right? And the best are using that in a way that prepares them for their goals instead of being distracted by Facebook or things that you can't control or shiny objects. Squirrel! And then we can control our effort, our E.

And we know that, you know, the best really put forward deliberate practice and effort. They don't just go through the motions. They work to be their absolute best every day. And, you know, we can control the amount of focus and effort we put into something. So, you know, are you showing up in this world in a way that demonstrates that you're all in? So our attitude, our preparation and our effort and those things lead to high performance. The things outside a circle lead to frustration and blame and excuses. That's why it's so important to dominate this ape. All right. So how do we start? So I would say the key is to recognize when we're when we're focusing on things outside of our control.

And then just kindly or gently shift our focus to what we can control. And I think we need a game plan for this. And so what I mean by this is a keyword or a phrase that we're going to use to get back inside our circle. So sometimes people might use like CTC for control the controllables. Or I say ape up okay instead of shape up so if i'm stuck in traffic or frustrated at the weather i'm like ape up or you know instead of dominate someone told me dominate like that i like that one or i was speaking to an elevator company like about a month ago and they were like well we're just

going to elevate i'm like oh creative okay i like it like a new tattoo i'm gonna get here pretty soon i think just something that will constantly remind me which one are you gonna put on i don't know which one i come up with probably think about it yeah but you kind of you got an example from your we get it dude you ape you ape yeah so you know i think about go back to the Boston Marathon and, you know, a couple of years ago when I ran it, it was 90 degrees. Hot. And we were getting all of these text messages from the race director the day before, you know, saying that maybe we shouldn't run it because it's going to be so hot. I just remember everyone just was in so frustrated. And then that night I walked back to my hotel and I said, you know, Sindra, you have to come up with a game plan right now or you're just going to not have a great race,

get sucked into this negativity. And, you know, so that's kind of what I mean is think of a game plan. What's going to be your game plan when you're focusing on things you can't control? Because it is really important to do, essential to do, but hard to do it every single day. And what's your final point then?

So I'd say today, when you see yourself getting worked up, bothered by what someone else did or said, or you're focusing on the uncontrollables like the weather, instead focus on what you can control. Dominate your reaction to that. And I think choosing to focus or center yourself on anything you can't control, remember, is either going to stop you in your tracks or significantly slow you down. I knew you would come in here with exactly what I needed today.

Let's summarize this. How would you summarize this whole conversation? High performers, those people who are working to reach their greater potential, they dominate their ape. They focus on what they can control, their attitude, preparation, and effort, dominate their reaction to things that they can't. They choose a positive perspective. They choose to use these 86,400 seconds each day

to really live their full capacity day in and day out. And to compress that down into a power phrase for this week, what is that? I dominate my ape. I give my best attitude, preparation, and effort day in and day out. It's the attitude part I need to be better about. And I can admit it, but yeah, it's a struggle every day. That's the first step. Today was, yeah, today was the perfect topic.

And I think a lot of us could use that, especially if you're just fed up now and you're looking at Wednesday's forecast. Maybe we can try to be better about it Wednesday than we were this weekend. Yeah, there we go. I like that. Speaking out loud to myself right here.

Really, if we want to follow along with what you're up to, Sindra, and I know you're very, very busy. You have a lot going on. You have the podcast and the book and websites and meetings and speaking engagements and all of that stuff. How do we keep in touch with you? You can head over to drsindra.com. So D-R-C-I-N-D-R-A.com. And if you want to check out the book, it's Beyond the Grit. So it's B-E-Y-O-N-D-G-R-I-T.com. You can check that out over there. All right. Dominate the controllables, the topic today, a good one coming out of this weekend and heading through this work and school week. Thank you very much. Thanks for having me today. Thank you for listening to High Performance Mindset. If you like today's podcast,

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