High Performance Mindset | Learn from World-Class Leaders, Consultants, Athletes & Coaches about Mindset - 177: How to Address Impostor Syndrome

Episode Date: May 1, 2018

“Sometimes you have to get out of the way of yourself so you can be yourself.” Amy Cuddy High performers know they may experience the Impostor Syndrome. When they do, they realize they are in good company. Then, they catch the thoughts causing it. They remind themselves they are enough.  They focus on the value they bring and own their successes. They remember they didn’t get lucky by chance. They reframe their limiting thoughts and remind themselves, they were meant to be here! My High Performance Power Phrase: "I am enough. I own my successes and remind myself, I am meant to be here!" Dr. Cindra Kamphoff is a Certified Mental Performance Consultant, Speaker and Author. She provide mental training for the Minnesota Vikings along with many other championships teams. She coaches athletes, CEOs and executives one-on-one to help them learn and apply the mental tools that lead to success. Cindra also speaks to and works with businesses and organizations on how to gain the high performance edge while providing practical tools that work. Her clients range from Verizon Wireless to Mayo Clinic Health System. Cindra's first book: Beyond Grit: Ten Powerful Practices to Gain the High Performance Edge was published in August. Her Ph.D. is in sport and performance psychology and she is a Professor in Performance Psychology at Minnesota State University. To book Cindra for your next speaking event or learn more about her one-on-one coaching, visit: cindrakamphoff.com For more information about Cindra's book, visit: beyondgrit.com

Welcome to High Performance Mindset with Dr. Sindra Kampoff. Do you want to reach your full potential, live a life of passion, go after your dreams? Each week we bring you strategies and interviews to help you ignite your mindset. Let's bring on Sindra. It's time for High Performance Mindset on The Country Club today. Dr. Sindra Kampoff in studio. Good morning, Sindra. Good morning.

Thanks for having me this morning. Yeah, it's good to have you in. Are you excited about 80 degrees? I'm like 83. I didn't look at the weather this morning. I'm like, oh my gosh, it feels like we live in Hawaii. I know. It's just so weird. I don't, it's been so long. I'm not going to know how to handle myself. Love the topic today because it's something that we have never discussed on this show before. There are some topics we've revisited and for worthy causes, but imposter syndrome is something we'll talk about today.

And we start with a quote. This is by Amy Cuddy, the bestselling author of the book Presence. And she said, sometimes you have to get out of the way of yourself so you can be yourself. I like that. So some examples for us here actually involve some people we've all heard of before. So what do actors Will Smith, Kate Winslet, comedian Mike Myers, and author Maya Angelou have in common? So I'm going to read you a few of the things that they said, and I'd like you to listen

for, you know, what do they have in common? So author Maya Angelou once said, quote, I've written 11 books, but each time I think, uh-oh, they're going to find out now. I've run a game on everyone and they're going to find me out. End quote. So Academy Award winning actress Kate Winslet, she also said, quote, I'd wake up in the morning before going off on a shoot and think, I can't do this. I'm a fraud.

Okay. And Will Smith once said, I still doubt myself every single day. What people believe is my self-confidence is actually my reaction to fear. And then the last quote is Mike Myers, actor, comedian, screenwriter, and he said, quote, I still believe that at any time the no-talent police

will come and arrest me. End quote. Wow. Coming from a guy like that who we know is so talented. So they all have, they all doubt themselves, obviously,

and aren't probably their own biggest believer. Yeah, nice. Good point. Which is interesting. So what do these stories all have in common? Well, if you've ever felt like this, then welcome to the club. So I'd call it the imposter syndrome club. And so obviously you're in good company. And so what the imposter syndrome is, is a persistent nagging fear of being exposed as a fraud. So like feeling not as smart or talented or deserving or experienced or kind

of blank, you know, if you fill in the blank as people think. And actually what the research in psychology says is that it's a common phenomenon. So it's believed up to 70 percent of people have suffered from it at some point including myself so i'll share some examples sure yeah so it's interesting to think about this and then you say yourself as well and then all of these celebrities and i'm trying to think of a time in myself where i may have also have done this uh so when then experiences who then experiences these uh imposter syndromes what kind of people do you think? So, you know, this was first written about in the psychology literature by two psychologists, Dr. Clance and Imes in the 80s. And basically what they found is that people who've been successful or have had some experience success, they attribute their success to luck or timing

or kind of deceiving others that they're intelligent or competent. And so what we actually know is high achievers or high performers experience imposter syndrome and men and women do. It's not necessarily a personality trait. It's something we experience. And it's common. I mean, it is. And so when do we experience this? Is it before, during, after? How does it come up? How do we feel it? So for me, I would say that I feel it whenever I'm trying something new and I'm really pushing out of my comfort zone into my courage zone. I'll give you a few examples of when I experience it. So just recently, I've given a few talks last week and the week before and they introduced me with my bio and I'm like is that really me no I don't really know and you know even when I'm working in a new sport like I started

working with an archery athlete and you know don't know much about archery so then you know my thought is well are people going to find out that I don't know much about archery so trying to you know learn more information about the sport so I think we can all experience it. So I think it's important to normalize it. And especially when we're trying something new or in a new environment, like maybe a new job or new responsibilities. When have you guys experienced it? Well, the two kind of similar instances that come to mind. One, when I was in high school on the speech team, specifically my senior year, I had a pretty good script, pretty good deal that I had wrote and was performing well. And always going through my mind was at some point, some judge is going to go,

dude, all you're doing is impersonating this, making fun of this, whatever. Not funny, Kringle. We've heard it enough now. And then also when I was coaching speech, I thought, man, this seventh grader is going to walk out of this classroom and go, that guy is an idiot. He doesn't know what he's talking about. But I experienced not huge success, but enough to prove that I belong there. I obviously knew what I was doing, but all the time I thought at any given moment, someone's going to say, they're going to figure me out and say, dude, you doing here yeah for sure good good example that is good i would say similarly doing things you've never done before in this particular business i've sat in here with lisa

now for 18 years on the mornings and we've got a pretty good routine going and we're really good friends but then there are times when we're thrown into situations where we've never done this before like hosting an event or a fundraiser of some kind where we have to be on the stage facilitating everything. And I'm like, you know, honestly, I'm not necessarily trained to be a game show host of any kind. I've watched some game shows. I kind of know how they go. Yeah. And I get up there and I do it and I feel like, well, I hope I pulled that off, you know, and then you get some good feedback and you don't always get good feedback. But in the back of my mind, I just try to remember, well, how many other people would

get up here and do this? Yeah, for sure. And I think about the first time I saw you in dancing with the Mankato Stars doing that and I was like, oh my gosh, does he have training in that? That was phenomenal. Yeah. Right. No, I need an agent or something.

Yeah, exactly. If that's the case. And I, you know, I don't, don't. I've watched Dancing with the Stars and I got up there and just thought, let's just keep this moving because as soon as we're done, I can have a beer. And that's going to help out a lot. It's all about getting to the goal at the end,

I guess. So what kind of circumstances fall into place that make us more likely to experience imposter syndrome? Yeah, there's a few things. First, when we focus on the things that went wrong instead of what went right. And so, you know, normally, naturally as humans, we tend to focus on what's negative instead of what's positive.

And we think it's too easy that anyone could do it. Like I think about your situation with Dancing with the Stars, you know, like we don't always understand that certain things come really natural to us and that, whoa, I could never do that. Right. Or a third one is just when we're not, we don't believe that we're doing enough and we forget that like no one is ever all achieving or in all the possible ways. Right. And so when it all kind of comes crashing down in those instances, instances, what are we supposed to do then? So the first thing is always self-awareness. So just to recognize it in yourself. And even by listening today, you know, you're probably thinking of times where you felt that way, or maybe you feel that way in some part of your life now. So the first step is just awareness.

And then, you know, the second thing you could do is focus on the value you bring instead of trying to be perfect because, you know, that's impossible. But, you know, I'd say by giving your best is not the same as being the best. And so the key is to give your best and to be your best version of yourself and focus on the value that you bring. So kind of owning the success that we've achieved and kind of just saying, yes, you know what? Darn it. I went ahead and did this. So absolutely. What do you mean by kind of just saying, yes, you know what? Darn it. I went ahead and did this. Absolutely.

What do you mean by kind of owning that success? Yeah, I think it's important to own your success and realize that you didn't get lucky by chance, that you've earned it, that you've deserved to be here and that you were meant to be here. And I think, you know, overcoming the imposter syndrome really does require acceptance of yourself and that, you know, noticing when you feel like you're found out or a fraud, like sometimes we attribute those things to external factors like luck. So what is the one final way we can combat the dreaded imposter syndrome? We can be kind to ourself and show ourselves the same kindness kind of in our own mind as we

would to other people and work to address that negativity and talk to yourself in a really powerful way. So if you catch yourself thinking, you know, like this is like I'm useless or I don't deserve to be here or I'm a fraud, you know, I think you need to reframe it and say, I deserve to be here. And the fact that I feel useless right now doesn't mean that I really am. And tell yourself all the reasons that you should own your successes. I like this. I'm thinking about several different areas because I think about kids that will try something for the first time and say, I suck at this. And I'm like, oh my gosh,

it is the very first time you've ever even tried it. Yeah, absolutely. And perhaps maybe feeling like a fraud is part of what it's going to take. Right. And some things come more naturally to some people, and other times other people have to practice more at it, but it doesn't mean you're not good at it or won't ever be good at it. Yes.

One way to look at it. And another one is be happy with the effort you put in, you know, is what I'm thinking. You know, you did the best you could, and that's good enough. And Michael Jordan get cut from his junior varsity basketball team? Yes. Just saying. Just saying.

Good stuff. All right, so how do we summarize today? This is a great topic. I'm surprised we've never talked about it before. So high performers, those people who are working to reach their greater potential, they know they may experience the imposter syndrome, and when they do, they realize they're in good company, and they catch the thoughts causing it.

They remind themselves they're enough. They focus on the value that they bring and remind themselves they didn't get lucky by chance. So they reframe those negative thinking and the limiting thinking and they remind themselves they are meant to be here. Awesome. So when we follow along with Cinder Kampoff on social media and all of the other ways that she's out there providing this information, there's a Power Phrase every Monday. And you'll find it on Twitter and Facebook and those places where you can go and like and follow along. What's today's Power Phrase?

I own my successes and remind myself I am meant to be here and I deserve to be here. Nice. All right. So if we do want to connect with you, follow along, listen to podcasts or get the book, any of that stuff. What's the best way to connect with Dr. Sindra Kampa? Probably the best way is just to go over to Dr. Sindra. So D-R-C-I-N-D-R-A dot com. And the book is called Beyond the Grit, 10 Powerful Practices to Gain the High Performing Edge.

And you can get that on Amazon or beyond the grit dot com. And I'll give you a free ship code, just free ship, all one word. And that's probably the best way to get it. Awesome. Well, thank you very much for coming in today. Thank you for listening to high performance mindset. If you like today's podcast, make a comment, share it with a friend and join the conversation on Twitter at mentally underscore strong for more inspiration and to receive Sindra's free weekly videos, check out dr. Sindra.com.