High Performance Mindset | Learn from World-Class Leaders, Consultants, Athletes & Coaches about Mindset - 185: Your Attention Creates Your Life

Episode Date: June 7, 2018

“Spend less time following other people’s lives and more time leading your own life.” Darren Hardy   High performers know that they have to protect their attention. They pay attention to what they are focused on because that impacts what they think about, what they expect, and what they create in their life. They realize their attention is their sacred gift. They make decisions related to their phone and energy suckers so they can feed their mind with positive and stay focused on their goals and dreams. They stay focused leading their own life, not sucked into others.   Power Phrase this Week:  I get in my life what I create. I spend time leading my own life and directing my attention to my goals and dreams. Dr. Cindra Kamphoff is a Certified Mental Performance Consultant, Speaker and Author. She provide mental training for the Minnesota Vikings along with many other championships teams. She coaches athletes, CEOs and executives one-on-one to help them learn and apply the mental tools that lead to success. Cindra also speaks to and works with businesses and organizations on how to gain the high performance edge while providing practical tools that work. Her clients range from Verizon Wireless to Mayo Clinic Health System. Cindra's first book: Beyond Grit: Ten Powerful Practices to Gain the High Performance Edge was published in August. Her Ph.D. is in sport and performance psychology and she is a Professor in Performance Psychology at Minnesota State University. To book Cindra for your next speaking event or learn more about her one-on-one coaching, visit: cindrakamphoff.com For more information about Cindra's book, visit: beyondgrit.com

Welcome to High Performance Mindset with Dr. Sindra Kampoff. Do you want to reach your full potential, live a life of passion, go after your dreams? Each week we bring you strategies and interviews to help you ignite your mindset. Let's bring on Sindra. Time for High Performance Mindset on The Country Club today with Dr. Sindra Kampoff. Good morning, Sindra. Good morning. It's always great to be here. Good to have you. It's nice out there, isn't it? Oh, it's so beautiful.

It's like almost perfect running weather. It's calm in the 50s. And here we are, tucked inside a little studio in the room, talking today, though, about a great topic. I really like this, and it gets you thinking. This is good for the summer, too. Yeah, this day and age. Oh, really good for the summer. So the topic is, your attention creates your life.

And we always like to start with a quote. What do you have for us today? This is a quote. What do you have for us today? This is a quote from Darren Hardy. He said, spend less time following other people's lives and more time leading your own. Nice. All right. So first, you have a story to tell us about your attention.

Yeah. So this week, I've been really paying attention to where I pay my attention to. And so one morning, I dropped my boys off from school and then was planning on going for a run. So I got my clothes on and then I decided to lay in bed. Look at social media for 20 minutes. So I was like looking at Facebook and Twitter and it was like I was on autopilot. Did you tell yourself you were just going to give yourself 20 minutes? No. All of a sudden I just got sucked into it. And then I realized, oh my gosh, I have been on social media for 20 minutes, like laying here. And so I got sucked into it. And then I realized, oh, my gosh, I have been on social media for 20 minutes laying here. And so I got sucked into this dopamine hit from social media.

And I found myself less motivated to go for a run afterwards. I did go for a run. But then I realized, oh, my goodness, I could have ran two more miles. With that time. With that time. Or I could have been more productive with my time. Instead of like, it was like I was on autopilot, just laid back down.

Yeah. Right. That's a bummer. Almost seems like a silly question to ask, but why is this topic important today? Well, so today what we're talking about is how our attention controls our life. And so your body follows your eyes and what you point your attention to. So the input that you're feeding your mind with is really important because that's what you're thinking about. That's what you're processing. And what you're inputting is what you end up thinking, what you end up

expecting and what you end up creating. So I think about my situation in that moment, right? I was inputting like information about other people's lives instead of like taking control going out and running two more miles or being more productive with my time it's like i just got sucked into things that weren't really you know giving me anything positive it's funny because this whole topic kind of is perfect for the beginning of summer but it's also perfect for the 21st century uh i mean it covers so much with what we're thinking about. And I'm thinking specifically about raising children in this day and age. So why do you think right now this is important for us to acknowledge?

So I've been listening to this program called Insane Productivity by the editor of Success Magazine. His name is Darren Hardy. You know, I got to keep on learning and growing, too. Right, right. And so that's one of the reasons I've been more aware of my attention. He talks about 66% of people have nomophobia.

Nomophobia? Nomophobia. So it's the fear of being... Fear of garden gnomes? Yeah, right. It's the fear of being out of contact with your phone. No more phone.

Okay, no more phone. They're nomophobia. Okay. And so one of the things he talks about is how this compulsive use of our phones or computers or tablets is really similar to these addictions of drugs and drug and alcohol. And so lovely. But I think just kind of like for me when I was laying in bed, I was getting this dopamine hit. And I think that's one of the problems with why we're so addicted is because every email or text message or tweet gives us this hit of dopamine. And so it gives us this buzz. And I think we have to

gain control of that. At least I know that I do and I'm really working on it. But I just see people texting while they're driving or whatever, you know, that I'm like, man, we have to be more aware of what's happening. Right. And so your attention is going to contribute to how much success you have at what you're supposed to be paying attention to. Right. So how so? Well, so we have to really protect our mind. One of the things in this program that Darren said was like our attention is our sacred gift. And if you're looking and you're listening to news media, like negative news media, especially like that's what you're going to focus on. Whereas if you're paying attention, you're feeding it with more positivity, more positive things, you know, that's what you're going to focus on. And so I think there's so much negativity

from the apps we have on our phone or social media. And we know that the research shows that when you're on Facebook more, you have more anxiety and envy and less happiness and gratefulness. And so I think what's really important is we have to focus on what we're paying attention to. Okay. We talked about that before about how you look at other people's social media and it's just a highlight reel, right? I mean, everybody has things going on in their life, but you don't necessarily always put the negative out there. And so you might see somebody, you think they have this picture perfect life and that's not necessarily true.

So what do you suggest that we ask ourselves here when it comes to this? So you ask yourself, what are you paying attention to that drains your energy and focus? And just notice that this week. And is your phone or what's on your phone draining your attention?

For me, it's definitely social media and that I've just been wasting some time on there. And so I decided I'm going to direct my attention to something else besides social media. I'm going to pick up a book or listen to a podcast if I just have my phone, not just automatically open the app and scroll, right? Being more attentional with what I'm feeding my mind with. I did the same kind of thing with my phone. I have Facebook on my phone, but I put it so I, well, A, I put it so I don't get notifications. Nice. I don't want to know every time somebody likes something I liked or whatever. That's okay. And then I have also made it so I actually have

to log in. Nice. Awesome. Not just like an instant hit. Yeah, exactly. It's like you have to be really intentional with it. Yeah. Good. Good. It's interesting though. It is really exactly. It's like you have to be really intentional with it. Yeah. Yeah, good, good. It's interesting, though. It is really interesting. It does take some time. And I think we have to be aware of that. When we're aware of it, what do you suggest that we do in order to consider what those attention suckers are? It's not just social media. It could be other things, too. Yeah, absolutely. I think one of the reasons why we need to be aware of where we're spending our attention,

you know, one of the things we talked about a while ago is what's called the marshmallow study. So this was a study like 30 years ago by a professor at the Department of Psychology at Columbia University. His name is Walter Mischel. And all the kids in the study were given a marshmallow. Sometimes they were given a cookie. Sometimes they were given a pretzel. And if they waited, they would get another one. So if they waited 15 minutes, they would get another one. And so the kids that actually waited to eat their marshmallow, their cookie or their pretzel. Like delayed gratification. Exactly. They had, yep, they had better SATs, better health and fitness and had more successful other, like more successful in general, other life measures. So what this professor said is the most important human discipline involved in long term success is the ability to forego immediate gratification for a larger but delayed reward.

I laugh. I think I'm thinking of my children and I have, well, three sons, but two of my sons in particular, one of them will delay, delay, delay. Yes. Yeah. He's fine with waiting. That's part of like his nature. Yeah. And the other one, like if he's got a dime, he's got to spend it.

Yes. The other one's got probably a million dollars tucked in a box somewhere in the backyard. Somewhere in the backyard. So the key is that we pay attention to that and that we really work to be more disciplined and have more self-control. And I think the social media and our phone doesn't help us in that situation. Right. So what do we do this week?

What are some suggestions that we can look forward to moving on? So consider what are your attention suckers and what's sucking your energy and your time? What are your marshmallows? And are you caught up in what other people are doing instead of focusing on your goals and your dreams? Are you sucked into this negative news?

And so I go back to the quote that we started with, spend less time following other people's lives and more time leading your own. The more time focused this week on your own goals, what's really important to you and your family and your dreams and going after those? Yes. I think like maybe I think by doing that, what you could do is just think about like, what could you do with your phone? Like what you said. Right. Like turning off my alert.

Turning off your alert. Okay. Turning off the social media, maybe taking off your phone, maybe putting on this app on your phone called Moment. That's the one I downloaded. Moment? Moment.

That would kind of show you how much you're on your phone. So doing something like that instead of going to get sucked into this social media without you knowing or paying attention to you like I did last week. Social media and basically your phone is an easy topic to kind of build this around, but

it might be something completely different that is distracting you. That's true. Of course, so keep that in mind. But how do we summarize that topic for today? So I would say high performers know that they have to protect their attention and they pay attention to what they're focused on because that impacts what they think about and what they expect and what they create. They realize their attention is their sacred gift and they make decisions

related to these energy suckers. They stay focused on leading their own life, not sucked into the lives of others. There you go. So the power phrase for this week as we wrap up is the one we'll find on social media. If we're following along. When you decide to log in.

That's right. When you get around to it. When it's not sucking your time. I think used wisely it can be a wonderful thing. Oh, for sure. Absolutely. It can definitely be motivating. So what is our power phrase for this week? I get in my life what I create.

I spend time leading my own life and directing my attention to my goals and dreams. All right. And of course, social media and the web are great ways to get in touch with people. You don't have to let them control your life. But if you do want to follow along with Dr. Sindra Kampoff and what she's doing, there are podcasts and there is social media. There's a website and there's a book. What's the best way to... There are a lot of positive things.

Yes. You can, you know, listen to. You can head over to drsindra.com. So D-R-C-I-N-D-R-A dot com. All right. Very good. Today's topic with Dr. Sindra Kampoff, your attention creates your life.

So good luck with that one as we progress through the week today and thank you for coming in. Yeah, thanks for having me. Thank you for listening to High Performance Mindset. If you like today's podcast, make a comment, share it with a friend and join the conversation on Twitter at Mentally Underscore Strong. For more inspiration and to receive Sindra's free weekly videos, check out DrSindra.com.