High Performance Mindset | Learn from World-Class Leaders, Consultants, Athletes & Coaches about Mindset - 199: How Successful People Deal with Adversity

Episode Date: August 1, 2018

“Adversity causes some people to break; others to break records.” William Arthur Ward High performers see the opportunity. They know everyone experiences adversity – but it’s how they respond to it that matters. They realize they have a choice in how they respond. Then, they see the opportunity – and ask themselves ‘What’s the opportunity here’ 3 times to make sure they think like the most successful. Power Phrase: “I am an optimist. I see the opportunity in every difficulty.”   Dr. Cindra Kamphoff is a Certified Mental Performance Consultant, Speaker and Author. She provide mental training for the Minnesota Vikings along with many other championships teams. She coaches athletes, CEOs and executives one-on-one to help them learn and apply the mental tools that lead to success. Cindra also speaks to and works with businesses and organizations on how to gain the high performance edge while providing practical tools that work. Her clients range from Verizon Wireless to Mayo Clinic Health System. Cindra's first book: Beyond Grit: Ten Powerful Practices to Gain the High Performance Edge was published in August. Her Ph.D. is in sport and performance psychology and she is a Professor in Performance Psychology at Minnesota State University. To book Cindra for your next speaking event or learn more about her one-on-one coaching, visit: cindrakamphoff.com For more information about Cindra's book, visit: beyondgrit.com

Welcome to High Performance Mindset with Dr. Sindra Kampoff. Do you want to reach your full potential, live a life of passion, go after your dreams? Each week we bring you strategies and interviews to help you ignite your mindset. Let's bring on Sindra. Sindra Kampoff, High Performance Mindset. Good morning, Sindra. Good morning. Thanks so much for having me today. Well, thanks for coming in. Let's talk a little bit about your topic today, which is always good, dealing with adversity. What do you mean by adversity? Like just difficulties?

Yep, this is what I mean. I mean difficulties, and it can take many different forms. It affects each of us differently. But what I mean is, you know, it could be difficulties at work, with family, and within ourselves. All right. Yeah, so I want to start with a quote, and this is a quote by William Arthur Ward. And it kind of summarizes what we're going to talk about today. So he said, adversity causes some people to break, others to break records. And so I want you, as we kind of think about this topic, think about a difficult moment that you have survived or you experienced in the past.

I want you to think about, like, what did you do? What got you through? And what did you learn about yourself? Maybe even how did it change your perspective or how did your life change as a result? And, you know, eventually you're able to see the opportunity, the positive. And today what we're talking about is how resilient and successful people look for opportunities and the difficulties because we can't avoid adversity, but we can expect and embrace. So tell us exactly what you mean by adversity then.

So I mean, you know, any kind of difficulty that we experience. And, you know, like it might be, you know, just something like you've been on vacation the last couple weeks and getting back into the swing of things. That might be a difficulty. Oh, hello. Both of us. Because now I have to sit over here. Yeah, exactly.

That's a type of adversity. Maybe it's a problem at work or a difficulty getting along with someone at home or at work. Maybe it's a big project, or it could be something big like an illness or an injury or even a death. And I think the key is, is that to know we all experience adversity in our lives. We're not alone, but it doesn't have to be impossible to overcome it. And, you know, we all experience challenging situations. I like this quote by Helen Keller, and she wrote, although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of overcoming things.

All right. So what do you think gets in people's way of overcoming their adversity? I think we compare our journey to other people's. And I think also we think that we're alone, that we're the only person experiencing this difficulty, that no one else has the same kind of experiences that we do. I think we also use other people's opportunities as like an excuse for our lack of success. We might say, well, you know, they have it so easy. And I think we also believe in the negative self talk that we have. So I think that's what gets in our way. Well, how does your self talk play a role? Because I know like even something as simple as like, I got to come from that side of the counter over here. I'm going to run the board. It's no secret to anybody. It's not my favorite thing to do in the world. For sure.

Because TJ has been doing it for a million years and it just, it flows for him. Absolutely. So I know that why I was like, oh, right. Right. But he deserves vacation and I'm happy for him that he's on vacation. But how does that thinking, like, how does it get in our way? Because, you know, we experience the difficulty and then our automatic negative self-talk is telling us all the reasons that we can't. Or, you know, maybe we're comparing ourselves to someone else. I don't feel like I can't do it.

I just don't want to. You just don't want to? I just don't want to. That's adversity for me. That's adversity. Or you might think, like, you know, they have it so easy. They have it so good. Or if I was in their situation, it would be easy for me if I had that kind of money or those parents, right?

And so the point is, is that our thoughts are really essential to our success. And getting past the adversity requires us to really change our thoughts and our beliefs about these challenges. It's not what happens to you, but it's really how you respond that matters. So it's really important that we pay attention to this voice inside our head. I like that. It's not what happens to you. It's how you respond to it. Wow. It's kind of powerful. How do successful people approach their adversity since we all have it? Yeah. Well, you know, I have an awesome opportunity to work with some of the world's best athletes and CEOs and leaders.

And what I see is that they see it as like their secret. Overcoming it is like their secret of champions. And kind of what I mean by this is, you know, when they experience something difficult, you know, they say, watch me. And I think they realize that adversity is going to happen. But again, it's all about how we respond. And so, you know, every successful person has experienced adversity and failure in some way.

And that's what's prepared them to be really good. I think about, you know, a classic example of like Thomas Edison, you know, who failed developing the light bulb like 10,000 times, right? What? You mean he didn't nail it on try number one? No, no, no, for sure he didn't. But he learned something every time. And could you imagine the world if he gave up? We'd be sitting in dark right here. We kind of are anyway.

Yeah, we certainly are. So we know that you just talked about how successful people kind of approach adversity, how they frame it in their minds before they even get to it. But when those moments of adversity arrive, how does the world's best respond to that? So I would say that they see it as an opportunity to grow and learn. It's a way, you know, that they can get better and they see the failure and adversity as like a seed of improvement. But they also show themselves kindness, right? They pay attention to their automatic negative thoughts. They stay calm, but they do keep pressing on and they see that, you know, what they ask themselves, what's the opportunity here? So how does, how do normal folks like yourself and myself go about

doing that? Yes. So the first thing we should do is realize that we have a choice. And what I mean by that is we have a choice on how we respond to whatever is difficult in our life right now. So as we're going through this, like think about something that's a difficulty for you right now. And the key is, is to realize that we each have a choice that, you know, we can choose how we respond to it. We have the power to choose to see how we view the difficulty or adversity. And then what's the natural next step in that process? The natural next step is to think, you to think adversity is really this opportunity in disguise. So the key is we want to find the opportunity.

And even by asking ourselves, what's the opportunity here? Or what's great about the situation? How is this actually a gift? And in my book, I talk about the three op strategy. So it's like three OPP. And what I mean by that is asking yourself, what's the opportunity here three times. And the reason we want to ask ourselves it three times is because then, you know, maybe by the second or third, we really see the real opportunity.

And when we do this, we're more creative. We're more excited about the possibilities and we don't stay stuck. And we start overcoming this automatic negative self-talk that we have. And that's like proven. We have to hear things more than once in order to retain. Absolutely. So, right, asking yourself that question three times, powerful. And lastly, it's got to be important to kind of hang on to that mindset and use it consistently, right?

Absolutely, yeah. Because I think we do experience difficulties every single day. And again, you know, it could be any of the things that we already talked about. But, you know, everyone experiences the difficulty, you know, adversity, failure. It's part of the human experience. But the key is, is to kind of dominate your response, right? Ask yourself, what's the opportunity? And when you do that, you show grit and imagination and strength and creativity. So we can always take the optimistic perspective. And that's something we can learn to do. All right, summarize us today. So high performers, those people who are working to reach their greater potential, they see the opportunity. And they know everyone experiences adversity, but it's really how we respond that matters. And they realize they have a choice to respond. Then they ask themselves the question three times, what's the opportunity here to make sure they're thinking like the most successful?

All right. And you always end with a power phrase, something that can take us through the week. What's this week's power phrase? I am an optimist. I see the opportunity in every difficulty. Excellent. I know a lot of folks are looking to get in touch with you. We get emails all the time asking how to contact you.

So if folks are interested in having you speak or learning more about you, where do they find you? You can head over to Dr. Sindra, so D-R-C-I-N-D-R-A, and you can learn more about the book I mentioned, Beyond Grit, and my speaking, and anything else you'd like to reach out to me. We'd love to hear from you. Perfect.

Thank you so much, Sindra. Thanks for having me. Always good to have you on for High Performance Mindset on a Monday with Minnesota 93. Thank you for listening to High Performance Mindset. If you like today's podcast, make a comment, share it with a friend and join the conversation on Twitter at Mentally Underscore Strong. For more inspiration and to receive Cinder's free weekly videos, check out DrCinder.com.