High Performance Mindset | Learn from World-Class Leaders, Consultants, Athletes & Coaches about Mindset - 206: The Best Coach Themselves

Episode Date: September 12, 2018

“Checking in on yourself gives you awareness. Awareness is like feedback on what, if any, adjustments are necessary to improve your performance. The best excel at coaching themselves.” —Ken Ravizza and Tom Hanson High performers focus on increasing their self-awareness. They are great at coaching themselves. This gives them power to choose how to respond not react. To help us do that, we can Recognize, Release and Refocus to help us stay in control of ourselves. Power Phrase: “I choose to respond with purpose and intention. I coach myself!” Dr. Cindra Kamphoff is a Certified Mental Performance Consultant, Speaker and Author. She provide mental training for the Minnesota Vikings along with many other championships teams. She coaches athletes, CEOs and executives one-on-one to help them learn and apply the mental tools that lead to success. Cindra also speaks to and works with businesses and organizations on how to gain the high performance edge while providing practical tools that work. Her clients range from Verizon Wireless to Mayo Clinic Health System. Cindra's first book: Beyond Grit: Ten Powerful Practices to Gain the High Performance Edge was published in August. Her Ph.D. is in sport and performance psychology and she is a Professor in Performance Psychology at Minnesota State University. To book Cindra for your next speaking event or learn more about her one-on-one coaching, visit: cindrakamphoff.com For more information about Cindra's book, visit: beyondgrit.com

Welcome to High Performance Mindset with Dr. Sindra Kampoff. Do you want to reach your full potential, live a life of passion, go after your dreams? Each week we bring you strategies and interviews to help you ignite your mindset. Let's bring on Sindra. After a week off for the Labor Day holiday, Sindra back in studio with us.

Good morning, Sindra. Good morning. It's great to be here. Good to have you in today. We've got kind of a polarizing topic here this morning because...

A little bit. I mean, it's a good topic but the story you have to go with it is where the polarizing part comes in today. So it should be an interesting conversation we have about the best coaching themselves. Start with your quote first. This is from Ken Revisa and Tom Hanson. They said, check in on yourself gives you awareness. And awareness is like feedback on what, if any adjustments are necessary to improve your performance,

the best excel at coaching themselves. All right. And so that leads into the story we're going to talk about today, which is very topical. Go ahead. So Saturday night was an emotional battle for Serena Williams in her final match of the U.S. Open. And after having a child last year,

she was really struggling for her life. And so she, you know, had this like, she did really, really well in the U.S. Open and got to the final. And she was playing Naomi Osaka. And the umpire suggested that she was getting coaching from her coach in the stands. And Serena got really heated. And she kept on, you know, she said to him, like, are you calling me a thief? Are you accusing me of cheating you owe me an apology and so Serena's emotional response you could see impacted

her performance one point she threw her racket and she kept on talking to the ump and you know her mind was really focused on I think these underlying beliefs that were driving her but at the end Osaka won becoming the first Japanese to ever win a major. Okay. So I didn't watch the match, and I've seen some follow-up and a ton of comments on all of that. And without getting into the gender specifics of the whole thing, because there's a lot to be talked about there. For sure. But there's just a lot of ways that you can unpack this. What do you think? Yeah, for sure.

Well, Serena said in her press conference that she was treated differently during the performance because she was a female. And even like Chris Everett and Billie Jean King have been tweeting about this, that the umps should have given her a warning. But regardless, what I kept on thinking about as I was watching is how she's really focused on things that she can't control right now. She's really focused on things that she can't control right now. She's really focused on the umps and for whatever underlying kind of reasons and beliefs, she really lost control of her emotions and her focus. And I think later on, we realized why she had lost control and what her beliefs were that were driving her. But I think the way that we can talk about it and how we can relate it to ourselves is really how do we stay in control when it's

a moment where there's a lot of pressure or a lot of heat or some controversy. So stripping all that away, stripping away the gender stuff, don't even think about it, stripping away all of the stuff that goes along in the comments that go along with this, we are specifically looking at the way she reacted in the moment to something she couldn't really control, right? So that's what we want to focus on today, not whether or not men and women are treated differently, whether they are or not. That's a different topic for another day.

So what is the heart of our ability to stay in control of our emotions in a heated situation? I think the heart is really our awareness, our self-awareness, which basically means our understanding of our tendencies and being in tune with our thoughts and our emotions and our actions. And it's really the foundation of us being in control of our emotions and dealing with challenges and adversity head on. And when you are really have a high self-awareness, you're in tune with what's happening in your body. Right. But it's moment to moment, sort of like Serena demonstrated to us. All right. So I'm trying to think of it in a way that isn't sports related as well. Maybe you're at work or maybe you're at school and something's getting at you at school and

you feel like you're about to blow your lid and you know it's going to be wrong, but you're going to do it anyway kind of thing, right? There are kids that are like that. And so we need to kind of dig into this a little bit deeper. Why is this so important? Well, I would say that people in situations don't make us feel a certain way. We really choose how we feel and what we do. So I'm going to say that again because I think that's really powerful.

You know, people or situations don't make us feel a certain way. We choose how we feel and what we do. So it's like the, I keep seeing this everywhere, you choose your response. Exactly. Exactly. You choose your response. And I think being able to choose your response, you have to be aware of yourself. And by being aware, it means just like this honest and non-judgmental understanding of yourself. And this does improve performance in lots of different areas, right? Not just sport. We're talking about a job interview, a meeting where you have to finalize a contract or a negotiation, or let's say a time when your child is frustrating you.

Right. Yeah. So responding, not reacting. What exactly do you mean by that? So when I said earlier that people and situations don't make us feel a certain way, we choose how we respond. And so the difference would be like react just as like where we react with heightened anxiety or fear or doubt, you know, believing that things make us feel a certain way. Instead of really, it's really about like, you know, reacting without thinking.

And we don't see that we choose our response. Whereas when we respond, not react, we're really choosing to be purposeful and intentional. And we are less likely to have our buttons pushed and we have more freedom to choose how we respond. So you've got some steps for us to become a little more self-aware and be able to respond and not react. What is the first step? So the first step, and this was actually written by Ken Reviza, who is someone in my field, really well respected sports psychologist for the Cubs, for example. And so he says the first step we should do is recognize that we need to take responsibility for our own behavior as the first step and recognize kind of what's

going on around us, like recognize these internal distractions, like our beliefs that are driving us or external distractions. So we just notice the stressors and distractions, notice what's getting in our way. Okay, so recognize it. And what's the second step? Then we need to release. And so that means like letting go of anything that's getting in the way of reaching our best.

We could even say when we release it, like have a statement we might use to let it go. We could say like, let it go or move on. Or what I might say is control the controllables, right? There's a lot of things I can't control, just like everyone else. Recognize, release. And then the third step?

Is refocus. And what this means is getting back to the present, getting back to your best, your plan, focusing more on the present and on the small things you have to do to be successful and remaining positive. So that would be refocus. So what are the ways that we can use this? So think about things that might push your buttons. Maybe it's a coworker or your kids at

home or your teacher driving to work. Maybe it's your kids in your classroom. And so we can use this by improving ourselves and our best and our performance at any moment. Recognize, release, and refocus. We talk about it and it takes several minutes to do it, but literally these three things could happen in the blink of an eye. You're like, I mean, if you're in the moment, let's say it is a sporting event, something happens to you immediately. It's like, there it is.

Okay, here's how I'm going to react to it, but or not react to it, but you know what I mean? Refocus and respond to it. So, yeah, so this is all stuff to think about, but in the grand scheme of things, the practice of it is something you learn to do very quickly and maybe subconsciously, hopefully. Yeah, hopefully over time, for sure. How do we summarize today's topic? It's a good one. So I would say that high performers focus on increasing their awareness.

They're great at coaching themselves, and they give themselves power to respond, not react. And to do that, we can recognize, release, and refocus to be in control of ourselves. All right. And the power phrase goes with our topic every week here on The Country Club. What is that? I choose to respond with purpose and intention. I coach myself. There you go.

Get after it on a Monday. If we want to learn more about what you're up to, Cindra, maybe have you come and do a speaking engagement, get a hold of the book, listen to the podcast, any of it. How do we get in touch with you? You can head over to drcindra.com. So D-R-C-I-N-D-R-A.com. You can find it all there. All right. Good topic for us today. Heading into the week, the best coach themselves. And you might as well begin on a Monday with us here on the Country Club. Dr. Cindra Kampoff with us for High Performance coach themselves. And you might as well begin on a Monday with us here on the Country Club. Dr. Sindra Kampoff with us for High Performance Mindset. Thank you very much. Thanks for having me today.

How about the Mavericks? Yeah. Awesome. It was a great game. And Vikings. Yeah. And the Vikings too. All of that going. It was a good day for you yesterday and or this weekend, I guess I should say, because it was Saturday and Sunday. Good stuff. Sindra with us for High Performance Mindset Mondays here on Minnesota 93. Thank you for listening to High Performance Mindset. If you like today's podcast,

make a comment, share it with a friend, and join the conversation on Twitter at Mentally Underscore Strong. For more inspiration and to receive Sindra's free weekly videos, check out DrSindra.com.