High Performance Mindset | Learn from World-Class Leaders, Consultants, Athletes & Coaches about Mindset - 220: Why Be Happier?

Episode Date: November 30, 2018

“Happiness is not out there. It is in you.” Anonymous  High Performers make a choice to be happy. They realize the importance and that up to 40% of our happiness can be changed. They realize they are in control of their lives, do work and have fun in things that engage them. They also give priority to their close relationships and work to express gratitude each day. Power Phrase This Week:   “I choose happiness. I take control of my happiness.” Dr. Cindra Kamphoff is a Certified Mental Performance Consultant, Speaker and Author. She provide mental training for the Minnesota Vikings along with many other championships teams. She coaches athletes, CEOs and executives one-on-one to help them learn and apply the mental tools that lead to success. Cindra also speaks to and works with businesses and organizations on how to gain the high performance edge while providing practical tools that work. Her clients range from Verizon Wireless to Mayo Clinic Health System. Cindra's first book: Beyond Grit: Ten Powerful Practices to Gain the High Performance Edge was published in August. Her Ph.D. is in sport and performance psychology and she is a Professor in Performance Psychology at Minnesota State University. To book Cindra for your next speaking event or learn more about her one-on-one coaching, visit: cindrakamphoff.com For more information about Cindra's book, visit: beyondgrit.com

Welcome to High Performance Mindset with Dr. Sindra Kampoff. Do you want to reach your full potential, live a life of passion, go after your dreams? Each week we bring you strategies and interviews to help you ignite your mindset. Let's bring on Sindra. Sindra's in studio with me. Good morning, Sindra. Good morning. It's great to be here. Well, thanks for coming in and keeping me company. I always like having an extra voice in here. We're going to talk about today, which I think is a really cool thing for high performance mindset is happiness. You came about this kind of an interesting way as you were noticing life. Yes. You know, this week I traveled. My sister lives in Park City, Utah. So we went there.

And I think when you're traveling, it helps you just gain a different perspective. And, you know, for me, it was I didn't do much work. So, you know, just gave me some time to really watch people and observe people and gave me time to slow down. And I think because I was in a different environment, I just noticed things a little bit differently. And I saw a lot of happy people. I saw... I'm happy I found your music. Oh, good. You found it. Okay, awesome. We went to also a lot of different sporting events. We went to a jazz game, and then we watched the Mavericks on Saturday on TV. And then yesterday, I went to the Vikings game. And you could just see happiness in people's faces.

And so it got me thinking a lot about like the research on happiness and what makes people happy. That's interesting. Like Gretchen Rubin, The Happiness Project. Have you read her? Yes, yes. Are we going to talk about her at all today? But no, but people should move. Great book. Check that out. So what does the research say about happiness? So what the research says, this woman who's done most of this research and summarizes it in her book, The How of Happiness. Her name is Sonia Lomondowski. And she says that up to 40% of our happiness is within our power and can be changed by how we think and act. So what that means is that only a small amount of our happiness, about 10%, comes from our life circumstances.

And 50% is what she calls our set point, which is determined by our genetics. 50% is determined by genetics? Yes I feel like that's a lot It does seem like a lot That sounds like a lot for like an emotion It seems like a lot Then I turn it around and I say Well 40% is really up to me

And 40% can be changed And 40% is really like based on my perception My focus, my daily actions And I think that's a lot 40% seems really like based on my perception, my focus, my daily actions. And I think that's a lot. 40% seems like a lot that I can change. And so today what we're really going to talk about is like practical tools, how to increase our happiness, because it does really shape our lens, like how we're seeing the world shapes everything that we take in. So what do we need to understand about happiness first as we head into this conversation? Good question. So this is really the why to keep listening, right? Right. Because we

know that happier people have a higher self-esteem. They're more optimistic. They also have close relationships and satisfying marriages. They have work and fun activities that really engage their skills. They exercise more. They sleep well, and that's really important because we know that sleep deprivation, you know, increases our gloomy moods, right? And we also know that chronic hostility is linked to heart disease. So happier people are healthier. Really? So what is happiness not related to them? So what the research shows is it's not related to age, how old we are, or gender, male or female. And it's not related to physical attractiveness.

And it's not related to if we have kids or not. So single people can be just as happy as married people or vice versa. Yeah, right. So what is that powerful thing that we could understand from this? So one thing that's really interesting is that a Gallup poll said that 73% of Americans said that they thought having more money would make them happier. Right. Okay, so that seems like a lot. 73% said more money would make them happier. But actually, like once our basic needs are met, like sleep, food, security, you know, like love and care, money matters less and less. Absolutely. And more money doesn't make us happier.

For example, like we know that since the 1950s, the buying power, like how much we can buy is actually tripled. But happiness has remained the same. Okay. Okay. So money doesn't buy happiness. Truly, truly does not. What's the first like a practical strategy that you have for us to use?

So the first practical strategy I would say is taking control of your life will help you improve happiness. So we know that happy people feel in control of their lives. They also manage their time. They set goals. They decide to go after those goals each day. And what's interesting is we can tend to overestimate what we feel like we can do in one day, but underestimate what we can do in a year. So what that really means is realizing that we're in 100% control. We can take 100% responsibility of our lives. And to do that, it's important to set goals and go after them and stick with them because that's going to improve your happiness. All right. What's another practical strategy? So another practical strategy is seeking work and fun that really engages you.

And so we... Yay, amen. I love this one. Awesome. Awesome. I can't wait to hear why you love it. So we know that happy people are often in the flow. What that means is they're so absorbed in tasks that really challenge you, but don't

overwhelm us. And we know that actually kind of passive forms of leisure, like watching TV, doesn't often lead to flow. But activities like hiking or exercising or running or creative work or even socializing can lead to flow. So what this means is we want to seek things that really engage us because that's going to help us be happier. I always say when it comes to doing my work or doing what I do, as long as I'm enjoying it, it doesn't seem like work. Yeah, that's true. Absolutely.

So even though people, oh, how can you get up so early? I'm like, because it's fun for you. It's all right. It's good. It's good. So it's another strategy that you have. So we have two more. So the third strategy would be give priority to close relationships.

So we know that happy people, they tend to engage in less superficial small talk and more meaningful conversations. So, you know, close relationships can really help you deal with a difficult time. And so when we focus on nurturing those closest relationships, we don't take, you know, our loved ones for granted. We have more meaningful conversations and connections. And we can do this just by complimenting them, sharing time with them, and doing things that you enjoy together, which hopefully you did, had a chance to do over the holiday. Absolutely. What's the last strategy that you brought for us today? So the last strategy is the gratitude you're expressing. So we know that what the research says is having a gratitude journal and writing down what you're grateful for every day actually improves happiness.

I've seen a lot of people doing that on social media. They'll start keeping lists and they'll share them publicly. And that's kind of cool. Absolutely. Because then other people can see it, right? And maybe comment on it. And so even just by pausing every day and just savoring the good moments and remembering those positive events can actually increase happiness.

All right. So how do we summarize this for today? This is a good topic heading into a Monday, especially into the holiday season. Yes, absolutely. And because it can seem really overwhelming, I think in the next couple of weeks. So I think that the key points are that high performers, those people who are working to reach their greater potential, they really choose to be happy and they realize the importance and that up to 40% of your happiness can be changed. They realize that they're in control of your happiness can be changed. They realize that they're in control of their lives, do work and fun activities that really engage them.

They also give priority to close relationships and work to express gratitude each day. All right. What's our power phrase for today? I choose happiness. I take control of my happiness. I like it. All right. Be happy today as you head out. Thank you so much for coming in. Thank you. How do folks get in touch with you if they need more help with anything that you've brought to us? Sure. So the podcast High Performance Mindset, you can find that on iTunes, Stitcher Radio, iHeart Radio, and this will be on there later on in a couple of days. And then you can find the book where I talk a little bit about happiness. There's a chapter in happiness

anywhere on Amazon or on the website beyondgrit.com. All right, Cinder Kampoff, High Performance Mindset on a Monday. Thank you so much. Thanks for having me. You have a beautiful sweater on today because of the Vikings. I know it's ugly, ugly sweater. It's a beautiful with the air quotes. I know exactly. But it's nice. There you go. I'm going to celebrate. Victory Monday. Makes me happy. Thank you so much, Cindra. All right. Coming up in just a few minutes,

we are going to stick around for some McTrivia. For sure. You bet. That's coming up in about 10 minutes from Minnesota 93. Thank you for listening to High Performance Mindset. If you like today's podcast, make a comment, share it with a friend,

and join the conversation on Twitter at Mentally Underscore Strong. For more inspiration and to receive Cindra's free weekly videos, check out DrSindra.com.