High Performance Mindset | Learn from World-Class Leaders, Consultants, Athletes & Coaches about Mindset - 228: Ninety Percent Mental

Episode Date: January 12, 2019

Bob Tewksbury is a retired Major League Baseball pitcher and current Mental Skills Coordinator for the Chicago Cubs. Bob has a unique professional resume which combines an eighteen-year professional baseball career with a master’s degree in sport psychology and counseling from Boston University. Bob won 110 major league games pitching for six teams; the NY Yankees, Chicago Cubs, St. Louis Cardinals, Texas Rangers, San Diego Padres and Minnesota Twins and was a member of the 1992 National League All-Star team. Bob is also a member of the Applied Association of Sport Psychology and is a Certified Mental Performance Consultant. He is the author of the book “Ninety Percent Mental: An All-Star Player Turned Mental Skills Coach Reveals the Hidden Game of Baseball.” In this interview, Bob and Cindra talk about: The struggles he experienced getting to the majors Why it’s important to consider what your ultimate fear is Why adding “so” can help to reduce future-based thinking How positive anchoring statements can be helpful What he means by 90% mental The 3 domains of performance You can find a full description of the Podcast at cindrakamphoff.com/bob

Welcome to High Performance Mindset with Dr. Sindra Kampoff. Do you want to reach your full potential, live a life of passion, go after your dreams? Each week we bring you strategies and interviews to help you ignite your mindset. Let's bring on Sindra. Welcome to the High Performance Mindset Podcast. This is your host, Sindra Kampoff, Certified Mental Performance Consultant, Speaker, and Author. And thank you so much for joining me here today to listen to Episode 229 with Bob Tewksbury. Now, the goal of these interviews is to learn from the world's best and we definitely have a world's best on the podcast today. And we're here really to learn

about mindset to help us reach our potential, be high performers in our field, and help the people that we're intended to serve. With two episodes typically weekly, we explore everything related to mindset. You can learn secrets from a world-class consultant, coach, or speaker, entrepreneur, athlete, or leader, like in this episode, or I also provide a short powerful message each week to inspire you to be at your best. Now, if you know that your mindset is essential to your success, then this is the podcast for you. Now, I'm going to head over to iTunes and read a rating and review. And this one is from Sweeney McMahon. Sweeney said, performance mindset isn't simply adopted. It has to be achieved. It takes effort and syndrome reveals the discipline and clear thinking that can take us there. So thank you so much for posting that over there on iTunes,

Sweeney McMahon. I really appreciate it. And I think you point out something really important. High performance mindset is exactly that, where we have to work on it every day. And it's not like riding a bike. And what I mean by that is, you know, you could easily ride a bike today, maybe because you learned how to ride it when you were five or six years old. Mindset isn't like that. Instead, I think it really needs to take a deliberate action. And we need to have a deliberate focus to improve our mindset every day.

And today I'm really excited to introduce you to the podcast guest. His name is Bob Tewks Perry, and he is one of the leaders in the field of sports psychology and mental training. So it's an honor to talk to Bob. I thoroughly love this conversation. And Bob is a retired Major League Baseball pitcher and the current mental skills coordinator for the Chicago Cubs. He has a unique professional resume, which combines 18 years in professional baseball in terms of a pitcher in Major League Baseball. And he also has a master's in sports psychology and counseling from Boston University. He's won 110 major league games, pitching for six teams, the New York Yankees, the Cubs,

the St. Louis Cardinals, the Texas Rangers, the San Diego Padres, and the Minnesota Twins. He was also a member of the 1992 National League All-Star team. Now Bob has done his education right. He got his master's in sports psychology and is a member of the Association for Applied Sports Ecology. He's also a certified mental performance consultant and he wrote a book which I really enjoyed. We talk about it in this interview. His book title is this, 90% Mental, an All-Star Player Turned Mental Skills Coach Reveals the Hidden Game of Baseball. Bob has worked with many MLB teams as their mental performance consultant

and just recently signed with the Cubs. In this interview, we talk about several things. First, I really appreciated his willingness to be open and vulnerable with us. So he talks about his struggles, not only as a consultant, but also his struggles in terms of getting to the majors and what that experience was like. We talk about why it's important to consider what our ultimate fear is, why adding so can help us reduce future-based thinking. He talks about positive anchoring statements and

how they can be helpful. We discuss his book and why he chose 90% mental as the title and he talks about what exactly that means. And then towards the end of the interview, we talk about three domains of performance. And if you enjoyed today's podcast, all I ask is that you spread the word, that you tell other people about the podcast, share an episode on social media, or email a link to a leader. That will help us continue to offer this podcast for free and also help spread a great message of training your mind. If you'd like to reach out to Bob and I, we're both on Twitter. Bob is at at Bob underscore Tewksbury and I am at mentally underscore strong. Without further ado, here's Bob. Well, welcome to the podcast, Bob. I'm excited to

welcome Bob Tewksbury to the podcast. How are you doing today? Hi, Cinder. I'm great. I look forward to our time to talk since we set this up a little bit back and really, I've listened to your podcast often. It's wonderful and I'm thrilled to be part of it. Excellent. Well, I am appreciative that you listen. We were just talking about several of the episodes before we went live about which ones you've listened to. So I appreciate that. And I have your book right here.

That's been on my nightstand for a month or so. So that's pretty cool that we have been learning from each other. So Bob, to start us off, tell us a little bit about your passion and what you do right now. Well, yeah, there's, there yeah, they're tied together. They're tethered. My passion for to help me through those tough times.

And so my lessons, I want to share the lessons I learned and with players to help them, you know, not you can't avoid those hurdles, but to overcome them a little bit more quickly and a little bit more successfully. Okay, excellent. And so you spent 13 years in Major League Baseball, won 110 games. So very impressive. Tell us a little bit about, you know, how you got to Major League Baseball. Yeah, it was a long road. I grew up in a very small town in New Hampshire. You know, like many kids in America, I had a dream of playing Major League Baseball and just really loved playing. Every level that I played at, I was good, which allowed me to go to the next level. It really wasn't until I went to college that I really started to think that I could really have a chance at the pro ranks. You know, didn't know if I was going to be a big leaguer, but I wanted to get into the pool of people that were professionals. And I had a hiccup along the way. I went to Rutgers University on a scholarship after high school.

But I was homesick and went back and worked at a birdseed factory. And there's a chapter in the book that talks about that journey. And then I went back to St. Leo College in Florida, where I was drafted in the 19th round by the Yankees in the 1981 draft. And then it was, you know, just love playing. That's what I wanted to do. I had a passion for it and had success and then also started having some setbacks. But I got to the big leagues in 1986 with the Yankees and I was able to carve out a career till I decided to retire in 1998. So lots of ups and downs along the way. But one thing that was always constant was just, as you know, you know, to do anything that like this to achieve at this

high level, you have to have passion. It's really, really hard. And that passion helped get through a lot of tough times. So Bob, when you think about, you know, five years, 1981 to 1986, you know, for you to be in the league, and then, you know, in 86, make it to the majors, what was your experience like in those five years working to, you know, reach your dream? Because I'm guessing that's kind of what you were trying to, you know, strive for is to get to the major leagues. Oh, absolutely. I, it was a challenge. I had a very successful first two years. And then when I got to the double A level, things start, the funnel gets a lot smaller. You know, when people get drafted into the pool, you know, there'sA team and a high-A team, and there's a big pool of players.

And then the higher up you go, the smaller the pool is, and there's only 750 players in the major leagues. And being a pitcher, so there's 400 pitchers in the big leagues or a little more, but there's thousands of people wanting to get there. So the double-A level is kind of a litmus test for players that if you can play well at this level, you have a chance to be a big leaguer. And I was in that level for three years and, you know, I had elbow surgery the year before. I was in riding buses in the Southern League from Nashville to Orlando, Florida.

And, you know, but those were fun times, really. You know, you had no money. Everyone's in the same boat. You know, you're desperately wanting to get there. And, you know, you made some good friends along that way. And, you know, then I had a break. I got brought up to the Yankees or to the AAA team in 1985. And I pitched exceptionally well in August and early September.

They put me on the roster. The Yankees put me on their 40-man roster in the fall of 85. And I went to spring training in my two-tone brown Mercury Zephyr, 1978 Mercury Zephyr. I was styling. Yeah, I was hot, man. Couldn't keep the chicks off me driving to Florida. And then I made the team in spring training. So that's my first taste in the big leagues. But part of the struggle was from my first full season in the major leagues without spending any time in the minor leagues wasn't until 1991. So I came up in 86, but I took five more years to stick in the big leagues without going back to the minors.

Wow. You know, one of the things, Bob, that I see in the NFL, you know, like let's say particularly rookies or first years, until you've maybe made it, there's this concern that you might get like, let's say, particularly rookies or first years, until you've maybe made it, there's this concern that you might get cut, right? Like you can be cut in time, or move down in Major League Baseball. And, you know, I'm wondering, what did you do to stay in the present and not get so caught up in the consequences or the outcome? Or, you know, what if I don't pitch well today? Or, you know, what if this dream doesn't happen? Yeah, no, that's a great question. That's the biggest struggle that players have, you know, in the minor leagues, especially, I mean, professional baseball is a lot different than professional football when it comes to players,

you know, rules and, you know, you can't cut a major league player for any reason you know your contracts are guaranteed there's a lot of different things but but in the minor leagues it's very much what you said that um you know what if this happens and what if i don't make it and what if i get sent down i get sent down seven times from the majors to the minors. And that's not a good experience because you wonder what you have to do to get back and will you ever get back. And it's really hard to control those thoughts. I'll tell you a quick story. I got sent down and I was pitching in Pawtucket, Rhode Island. I was with the Yankees AAA team pitching in Pawtucket. I just got sent down and Bucky Dent was our manager

and I pitched like four innings or something and Bucky took me out of the game. I didn't pitch very well. And I came in and I threw my glove against the dugout and sat down and I said, that's not why I'm here. In my opinion, I'm here to get work like, that's not why I'm here. You know, in my opinion, I'm here to get work so I can get back to the big leagues. And Bucky came over to me and he goes, well, I'm here to win games. And you were pitching like bleep bleep. And, and then one of my friends

came up to me and, and he really said, you know, that that's unacceptable and it was at that moment and I share that story with a lot of players because it was at that moment that I had to free or let go of worrying about the future and the uncertainty and focus on where I was and as soon as I started to focus on what I could control enjoying enjoying the game, going out and pitching and focusing on my own personal success, not worrying about the what ifs. That's when I started to pitch well and I got brought back up again. But it's really hard to emphasize that to players, especially young players, because they want the results.

They are concerned with, you know, the what-ifs. And that's really the single biggest thing that I talk about with players, you know, in baseball because you play every day. And, you know, a hitter's going to get 600 at-bats. And if he doesn't let go of yesterday, it's going to affect him at bats and if if he doesn't let go of yesterday it's going to affect them tomorrow and the next day so really just kind of be in the moment and work toward you know even personally now it's one of my biggest challenges is to just be in the moment and I think we all

no matter if you're an athlete or what age you are what profession I think that's a constant challenge for us as humans to continue to be in the moment. And that's when good things happen. Absolutely. And that's one of the things too, Bob, I see like my work with the Minnesota Vikings, the guys who thrive, have unbelievable seasons are those that have let go of the worry. And when I, you know, when I asked them, well, how do you do that? Right. They say, well, I just take it one day at a time and play at a time. Right. You know, sometimes they maybe naturally do that or they've had experiences like you,

where like you have this aha moment that it's like, I can't live like this anymore, or I won't, you know, I won't reach my dream. When you think about how do you teach that, you know, what's your thoughts on how do you help guys actually embrace this idea of like, you know, enjoying the game and not worrying about the what ifs? Because it's easy to say, hard to practice. It is. And I think that it's a personal mindset. It's a personal belief that everyone has the cliches, but one of the things I've talked to players about is I ask them, okay, what's your ultimate fear? And they'll say, well, not to get to the big leagues. And I said, okay, that's understandable. And that would be sad and disappointing, but would your life end? And I say, no. And I said, so would you go on and find another job? Yeah. Would you get married and have kids?

Yeah. Would you still have a good, prosperous life? Yes. So there's life after baseball is what I hear you saying. He goes, yeah. And I said, well, can you let go of the grasp to try to hang on to that and just enjoy being in the moment? So and then the other thing you talk about, so what if, you know, put a so what in front of it? So what if you're 0 for 4? What's going to happen tomorrow?

You know, the you know, the old my coach used to say the sun's going to come up tomorrow. And so I really think it's the conversation that happens. There's no quick fix fix I think to help athletes do this uh Cinder it's relationship based and it takes time and they need to hear it over and over again and to be reinforced that understanding that it's not constant that it's it's always a work in progress and you don't ever have it figured out but but it is cool i think the and you know the other essence to me is players in those in those seasons you know they are insulated from everything distractions worry concern they're just playing and it and it becomes contagious

and it can go the other way too where players have i'm sure you've seen players have miserable seasons because they're just something's off or they're not happy or they're injured or their contract or they got divorced or something that just and they can't get out of their own way until until the season ends or until something else happens but it it's all mindset, you know, it's, and it's totally an adhering to understanding why we think the way we do. And then how do we change that thought? And, you know, that's probably the biggest thing that I talk about, I talked about in the book about, you know, I call them positive anchor statements. And I use the metaphor of, you know, if you're in a boat in a lake and a storm

comes up and you don't throw your anchor the boat's going to go wherever the storm takes it and performance can be like that too so you don't want your performance to go wherever the challenges take it you want to be able to anchor down and I used, you know, positive anchor statements, mantras, affirmations, or whatever, but get players to, to, you know, that helps bring you to the moment. And those are things that I use with players that help them, you know, focus on the now reminders of what those anchors are. So when the storm comes up, you know, you continue to focus on what's in front of you. Yeah, I love it. You know, Bob, when you're working with a player, and they're kind of identifying their positive anchor statements, how would you tell us as even as listeners, right? And we might not be, you know, an athlete or a major league player, but we might be, you know, a leader or a boss or owner of our own company?

Yeah, well, that's a great question. I think what I tell the players to, athletes to do, is think about how their performance feels. For me, you know, pitchers, my anchor statement was just like on the side. It's a little long, but I knew what that meant. And just like on the side, for me, was when I was in the bullpen, you know, in between starts, you have a side session, a bullpen session. And in those sessions, there's usually not a lot of stress. There's you and the catcher. It's free and easy. You know, you can throw bad pitches and no one hits it out of the ballpark and you kind of get do-overs, but it's calm. And so when I was stressed on the mound, I would step off, take a breath,

repeat the anchor, okay, just like on the side. My body knew what that meant. I could create a little mini visualization of throwing a pitch that I threw on the side, and then boom. And then I'd make the pitch, and then I'm back into the count. So I get players to ask them, how does their performance feel? Is it adjectives? Is it easy and effortless? Is it, you know, see the ball, get down on time. So you kind of, you work with athletes to try to find some language or thoughts

that they have that, that they make their own. You don't give it to them. But one of the best ones that Alcoholics Anonymous, Just For Today, there'll be that clip that comes out in the newspaper that comes out every January 1st, that Just For Today, I'm going to, the Alcoholics Anonymous has a series of sayings, I'm going to take care of myself, I'm going to do this, I'm going to, Just For Today, I don't have to, I don't have to not drink for a lifetime, but I, I'm not going to take a drink for today. And I've used that, uh, with players to say, you know, you don't have to worry about tomorrow.

Just for today. Can you go out with an attitude and a sense of confidence just for today? Can you go out and forget about yesterday's past mistakes or tomorrow's future worries? Just for today, can you go out and compete your butt off? And so, you know, there's tons of them out there, but I think they have to be owned by the individual and then they have to be used. They've got to be applied. Yeah, good, good. Love it, love it. You know, so Bob, when I'm thinking about your career in Major League Baseball, 13 years, and then, you know, since then really been in the trenches with pro teams in mental training.

Can you tell us a story about a time that you failed that maybe it didn't go so well for you? And what we can learn from it? And I'm thinking just about baseball in general. It's a game of failure. Oh, yeah. You probably have many you could tell us about. Well, you know, when we as practitioners work with players, we don't really know the impact of what we say. We hope that we make good choices with our words and give them good techniques and strategies. And it's great when they acknowledge that they helped you, but we don't really know.

It's kind of like, I say it's kind of like parenting. You know, I have two kids and the kids don't come up to me at the end of the day and say, Hey, dad, you did a great job parenting today, man. It was like knocked it out of the park. You don't hear that. Right. But so for me, you know know i try to be authentic and genuine and and there was there's been two times where i've really messed up uh interaction with

the player because i acted uh i misread the player and to which the intensity I could push back on him. So a player came in, he was talking about, he was disgruntled about the situation. He was with the team and he had a negative attitude. There was some negative permeating throughout with the people that were in his corner. And he was kind of in a woe is me type of thing. And I challenged him without really knowing him and that ended that relationship once I knew that feeling it was an awful feeling I remember I sent

him a text and said look I think I aired today any chance we can reconnect and um and we didn't the rest of the year since then we have and we actually don't even talk about baseball anymore we talk about other stuff so that's been good and the other one was totally on a perception where I was out on the outfield talking with a player just kind of bsing talking about pitching and then I went in and I saw the manager of the team and just was talking to the manager. It wasn't about the conversation with the pitcher. But the player after that was kind of cold and aloof. And I was like, what's, you know, so this went on for like three weeks. I'm like, hey, what's up?

And he goes, you know, at the beginning of the year, you said that, you know, you were only going to. So I tell the athletes, look, if it's performance related and it's on the field you know you're working with your pitching coach we may be working together you know it's pretty common knowledge of what's going on but if it's off the field issues with relationship or personal stuff that you know that's I'm not going to share that so he goes you know remember you said that in spring training because I don't believe you and it was like I get kicked in the stomach. I was, you know, because my word is important.

I was like, what do you mean? He goes, we were out there in the outfield talking to you. And then, you know, you were you were in there talking to the manager. Yeah, I was like blown away. And I was like, yeah, but I wasn't talking about you. But his perception became his reality. And he we didn't talk for months. And I finally, near the end of the season, we stood in the outfield and talked for an hour. And I, I told him, I was sorry that he felt that way, but I understood it. And I said, you know,

thinking of this from another perspective, do you ever think that maybe I have a relationship with the coach or maybe that the coach needs conversation about some stuff too. And that, you know, this isn't a one way street that I can't talk to you and go hide, you know? So he became more enlightened to that, but it also is a situation that I've not forgotten. Absolutely. And I'm guessing that it might now inform what you do right after you talk to a player, or maybe how you might set up the conversation or the relationship at the beginning. How has it changed what you do? Yeah, well, I think, you know, informing the players on what you do and what

you don't do is really important on a regular basis. And I think being consistent, the one thing about being part of a major league staff is you're around the coaches all the time and you're not exclusively with the players because then, you know, the coaches want to know what the hell you're talking about and what are you saying. And so there's this line that you walk with information that can be shared or not shared. And so the player has to have trust in you. And that's the single biggest reason that our work works is the players trust you. If they don't trust you, it doesn't matter what's going to happen. But if they trust you, they'll say, oh, yeah, well, he's helping me.

And I trust that he's not going to divulge anything. And I don't care who he talks to. So it's constant communication with the players so that they understand the landscape of that and don't assume how that landscape, you know, works. Yeah. And one of the things I found, Bob, is like, I mean, it's very similar at the NFL level where, you know, you have to toe the line and be careful, but build trust is what you're saying, but know that information is going to be confidential. But I don't find that

maybe the same way at the college level. And maybe it's just because it is a job. It's more like a boss. You know, it's more of this contract that could be on the line. Do you see that at any other level? In the minor leagues, it's much different. You know, it's much different because it's kind of like when the players get to the big leagues, they become more concerned about the team finding out information which could be used to get them. There's a little bit of a paranoia that happens in the big leagues about the team, the player-team relationship, and what that really means. And in the minor leagues, the players are all just hoping to get to the big leagues, so they'll do anything.

You know, it's like, hey, I want to talk to you. Okay, yeah, I'll talk to you. If it's going to help me get better and get to the big leagues, I'm going to do it. And they're much more open and receptive and, and the coaches don't feel as threatened. I think, you know, they're, they're open to helping the players. And so there's two different dynamics and it's not, you know,

I've been with, with two teams, uh, as a mental skills coach and, you know, there's, I was with the Red Sox for a very long time and had relationships and, you know, in those relationships, the strength of those relationships are actually, uh, illustrated in the book with John Lester, Rich Hill, and Andrew Miller, and Anthony Rizzo, all talk about things that, and openly, obviously, I had to write it with their permission, and I wrote it with their blessing, about interventions. And those were formed with, you know, through the minor leagues, with all of them, and the Red Sox. And so those are strong bonds and it's really difficult sometimes to come in right at to the major league level and make a connection with a player that's already been there three or four years and maybe already had one sports psych or mental skills coach come through and isn't really sure about what he can say or not say. And so, yeah, it's a, it's a challenging job for sure, but so rewarding. Absolutely. Absolutely. And, and, you know, for me, it's,

it's maybe the times where someone just says, I appreciate you. And that's all they have to say. Like, I know what you're right. They don't always say like a good job parenting, right? Like, you know, if it's just something like, I appreciate you. Okay, that will sustain me for like months. Oh, yeah. No, it's, it's so well. So I think, you know, humans, we're all kind of like a black lab, you know, you give us a little food, pat us on the back, and we're happy as hell, you know, and it doesn't take a lot, you know, it just but it takes something. And when players do that, it does feel really good. Yeah.

You know, so when I think about your longevity in Major League Baseball, you know, 13 years as a pitcher, but also now, you know, as a mental skills coach, it would be 14 years, perhaps, you know, since you started with the Red Sox. Yeah, I've been a mental skills coach since 2004. Yeah, so I was doing math, right? That's 27 years in Major League Baseball. What do you think the key is, you know, in terms of your longevity, not only, you know, we could even talk about it separately as a player, you know, 13 years, what did it take to stay there that long and I'm I'm thinking more like mentally what it took right maybe you can talk physically to you and

training wise but we could even separate that question you know to mental skills consulting as well yeah well I think you know as a player attention to detail you know I think the longevity was having a consistent set of routines that I used on a regular basis that are so important understanding my strengths as a pitcher reinforcing those strengths you know before all the analytics stuff happened I was keeping statistics on my own personal stuff on first pitch strike percentage and how many times I threw a first pitch strike that I get the leadoff hitter out. And I had my own personal goals. I have three, three ring binders full of notes that I took about opposing hitters that, you know, were my scouting report. I didn't really care what a guy who's another right-handed pitcher,

but had different stuff than I did against a certain hitter I wanted to know what I did so and I visualization was my biggest mental skill by far the biggest and I practiced that regularly starting you know very early in my career and I know that there are times that I just could recall making a pitch and need to make a pitch and did it. I have games that I, you know, visualize walking off the field, shaking hands after I pitched a complete game and it happened. So, as we know, it's such a powerful skill.

So I did the little things. I did a lot of the little things and I tried to do them the best I could. And then you do your conditioning and, you know, training and stuff. But I worked at that part of it. And then, you know, to transition to mental skills was, you know, I really didn't. I retired because my desire to be home was greater than my desire to play. I kind of lost that passion that we had talked about earlier. And then I finished my undergrad, took a couple of years to do that. And then I was working as a pitching consultant with the Red Sox because I didn't know what I really wanted to do. I knew I didn't want to be a pitching coach. And then the opportunity came up to, I found out about sports psychology I had known you know Ken Raviza and Harvey Dorfman kind of the pioneers in the field god bless their soul

and mental skills in baseball I had met Harvey I'd you know talked to Ken read their books and I said geez if I can if I can go back to grad school and understand the science behind the applied work in this field and that stuff that I used without even really knowing the science behind it, and with my playing background, I think certainly being a former player gives me some credibility, but you still have to form relationships. You still, the field has grown immensely in so many ways. And teams are hiring people in this position. And now more former players are being hired. And some are even going back to school to complete their degrees. So, yeah, if you had told me, well, I signed in 1981 so so I've really been in baseball like 30 30 wow long time that's excellent so if you'd asked me in 1981 you know when you're 58 you're going to have a 13 year big league career you're going to win 110 games make an all-star team and work in baseball

I'd have signed on the dotted line in a heartbeat. And I've been able to do that. It's been, I've been very blessed. That's amazing. Outstanding. You know, as you were talking, Bob, I was thinking about just the mental attributes that you need as a pitcher in particular, because, you know, you really lead the game, shape the game and how much mental strength it takes to really, you know, take really lead the game, shape the game, and how much mental strength it takes to really, you know, take it one pitch at a time. What do you feel like when you think about, you know, your 13 years in Major League Baseball? What was some of the most important things that you did mentally as a pitcher, you know, in terms of in-game performance? Yeah, wow. Well, I think I had a routine, you know, the anchor statement. So whenever I fell behind in the count, two balls and no strikes or three balls and no strikes or three balls and one strike, I had an automatic. I stepped off the mound. I went behind the mound. I took a breath. I said my anchor statement, I get back on the mound. And sometimes, you know, I would

say, all right, throw a good low pitch or, you know, just like the last one or something like that. But I would, I would say something that would replace the, you know, hope I don't walk them, don't walk them stuff. So that was part of my normal in-game routine. And I, but I think that there were, there were times where I didn't do such a good job of that, you know, that I would be out on the mound and, and couldn't change those negative thoughts or those what ifs or God, am I really this good? Is it really this easy? You know, how long is the coach going to take me out of the game or am I going to stay in and and then so it was a constant work in progress and that's why my journal you know that I kept you know there

were times I looked back at the journal and said I took myself out of the game or negative self-talk beat me today and so that helped create my own awareness to what it was and I knew what it was. And with time I continued to just kind of coach myself on the ability to kind of change that in game, which became more successful. If that, I don't know if that answers your question. For sure. Yeah. And I guess tell us maybe a little insight on how we, you know, in terms of self-co, and how did you learn to change those, maybe distracting thoughts that, you know, kept you from your ability to be at your best in the

present? Well, I mean, I think it all kind of started, you know, my father was reading Norman Vincent Peale. Oh, nice. Power of positive thinking. Yeah. Wonderful. And then it was kind of, you can see it and believe it, you can achieve it. And so that may have been where some of this curiosity had started as a, as a kid, but, you know, just constantly trying to read and learn about how to get better in that way. And, um, you know, we didn't have the internet then you couldn't Google anything. You couldn't pull anything up. You, you know, I didn't have the internet then you couldn't Google anything, you couldn't pull anything up. You know, I spent a lot of time walking through the bookstores and self help sections and looking how to deal with, you know, negative thoughts or Yeah, so, you know, just kind of did my own little study on it.

That's wonderful. That's wonderful. So let's talk more about your book, 90% Mental, an all-star player turned mental skills coach reveals the hidden game of baseball. So tell us a little bit about when you say 90% mental. Tell us a bit more about what that means to you. Yeah, I think, you know, it's certainly the agent, you know, that contacted me to write it. He already had the title picked out before we even wrote the book. And there was a little bit of spinoff of Yogi Berra, you know, half the game is 90% mental. And I think he, there was a little bit of a spinoff on that. But I think, you know, there's a story in the book about my talking to the minor league team for the Red Sox. I asked them, all 25 guys are sitting there.

I said, how many of you guys are playing up to your potential? No one raised their hand. I said, okay, so there's three domains of performance. With a show of hands, under which domain is the reason why you're not playing up to your potential. So ask them how many people think it's physical? One person who may have had an injury. How many people think it's fundamental? One person. How many people think it's the reason you're not playing up to your potential is mental? And they all raised their hand. And then I said, what are you doing about it? And so the truth is everyone will acknowledge that every sport is more mental and physical,

but not everyone addresses that. So I think at least 90% of performance is your thoughts, your beliefs, you know, because they lead to actions and responses. And when you can control them, I think you can control your performance a lot more. So anyway, I think that's a long-winded story about the belief, you know, the title and, you know, and then the uniqueness of sharing my story of being a former player turned mental skills coach and how, you know, I was able to help some of those other guys and for them to share that was really important. Absolutely. Well, and what I appreciate

about the book, and I know you've gotten this compliment about the book before, but just that it's, you know, it might be, it might look like a baseball book, you know, like there's a baseball player on the front and, but it's really more of a success book with some really good practical ideas of how we can um use uh these concepts in our life what i also appreciated about it is you know you hear as a reader your story and get to know you more and it's not just about the great times you had or the successes, but you're honest and open about times that didn't go so perfectly for you. So that's one of the things I really appreciate about it. Can you tell us a story from the book that might pique people's interest in terms of just share with us a concept or a story that you think is impactful?

Well, there's a couple actually that come to mind and they were the two hardest for me to write. I had someone ask me what part was the hardest part to write. And the hardest part to write was the disclosure that after I lost the perfect game, uh, I had, I had in 1990, I had a perfect game going to the top of the eighth inning. So that's 21 up, 21 down against the Houston Astros. And the first hitter of the eighth inning was Franklin Stubbs. And I talked to the catcher. I'm like, you know, I knew what was going on. No one was talking to me in the superstition of the dugout. I knew what I had going.

And my biggest concern at the time was to just continue to establish myself in the dugout. I knew what I had going. And my biggest concern at the time was to just continue to establish myself in the big leagues. And I felt like, you know, at that point, I get a shutout into the eighth inning. I'm going to get a start again next time. You know, that's where my mindset was. So Franklin Stubbs let off the, you know, the crowd's going crazy. ESPN cut to it live. And I threw a first pitch fastball that was a little bit up and he hit a base hit. It was a soft fly ball at the left field that bounced in for a double. And I remember feeling a little relieved and that bothered me that I was like, man, I had a chance for history and I'm relieved.

But again, in perspective, I was just happy to be there and wasn't really concerned about pitching a perfect game. I think if that had happened, you know, five years later and I felt that way, I don't think I would have felt that way. I think I would have not been relieved. I'd have been more upset. But to reveal that, you know, was really hard because I exposed myself and my feelings of like people say, well, how could you be relieved? Well, it's a lot of pressure. And I know the history of baseball, like perfect games are pretty special. And oh my God, this little kid

from Salisbury, New Hampshire has got a chance to pitch a perfect game with all the greats in baseball. Are you kidding me? But so that was one. And the other one was, again, a disclosure of what happened in the All-Star game in 1992. I was having a very good season.

I came into the game. We were losing. Tom Glavin started the game and gave up, I think seven straight singles or something. And he gave up four runs. And I remember sitting in the bullpen going, I can't, I know I can't do any worse than that. And, you know, national TV, the president's there, the president of Mexico, you know, sold out Qualcomm stadium and my first all-star game playing with all these, you know, sold out Qualcomm Stadium and my first All-Star game playing with all these, you know,

great players and against great players. And so then I warmed up. I forget, Maddox came in, Cone. And then I started, I think, the fifth inning. And I threw nine pitches. I got three outs on nine pitches. And I remember walking off the mound like, oh, great. I did it, you know, because most of the time that, you know, the only pitcher that pitches two innings in an all-star game is the starting pitcher. And so I came in and sat down

and I'm, I'm thinking I'm done. I just pitched on national TV. This is so cool. And the manager, Bobby Cox came up to me and goes, Hey, how are you feeling? I said, good. He goes, good. You got another one. And instantly I was like, oh shit. That was my first thought. I was like, I don't want to go back out there. I just, are you kidding me? I just pitched a scoreless inning. Now I got to go back out there and risk what happened. So I went out, I got the first guy out, then I gave up a scoreless inning. Now I got to go back out there and risk what happened. So I went out, I got the first guy out, then I gave up a double. And I think it's detailed in the book, but I had a guy on second and two outs, and I ended up giving up four runs, I think.

And at one point on the mound, after the second run came in, I was really embarrassed because I knew that I had beaten myself by my thought in the dugout. And I knew what happened. And I was disappointed with myself. I was embarrassed because I was on TV. I had to get pulled from the All-Star game. So, you know, that self-disclosure, I think, I really tried to be candid that, you know, that self-disclosure, I think I really tried to be

candid that, you know, athletes aren't, it's not all rosy and athletes struggle too. And so. I appreciate the vulnerability of those stories, you know, because I think, and maybe they, the reason they were the most difficult to write is because you're really putting yourself out there and being open and honest. Not enough people do that, right? Where we talk about our struggles and, and what, what we think led to them. When you look back at that day, you know, how does that now inform your work? Or maybe another way to think about this is what would you tell an athlete who's maybe in that same situation? Yeah. Well, I think, you know, well, that's a, that's a tough one because I think, you know, with regard to the perfect game, you know, I, I think that, you know, I threw the, I threw the pitch, I threw the pitch that I wanted.

I didn't, you know, I wasn't hesitant. I was not uncommitted. So I think, you know, if a player were upset and I was counseling him, I would say to him, you know, did you look, that was really disappointing. Did you throw the pitch that you wanted to throw and say, yes. And if he had said no, I'd say, well, you know, why did you do that? Why did you not? And then he'd probably say, well, I was afraid to throw it. I didn't know what to throw. So I would say, well, then it comes back down to commitment and trust and belief. And if you're having those thoughts of doubt, what do you do and what can you do to change those on the mound so that you can get back on the mound and make a better, you know, more focused pitch with regard to the all-star appearance, you know, was just kind of like the importance of, you know, I tell guys, I've used that example as don't ever shut down until they tell you you're out

of the game. Good. Don't, you can't turn the motor off. You know, when you think you're out, if you, if you take yourself out, you're going to end up getting pulled out. So don't, you know, and that's mostly for relievers. And sometimes in the National League, you know, the pitchers will, you know, pitchers hit. So sometimes there's spots where the pitcher goes, you know,

am I going to hit? Am I going to get pinch hit for? Am I going to hit? And so that creates anxiety. We're in self doubt. And so I talked to the pitchers about, look, you're pitching until you're not pitching and, and you can't play manager. So I've been able to, you know, use that probably more so than the perfect game thing. Cause that, that hasn't happened a whole lot, but the all-star game for sure.

It does happen pretty, pretty often. Yeah. And I think we can all relate to that because I think about times where I've gotten in my own way because of my own thoughts or maybe the pressure that I was putting on myself. So we can, I, at least I can relate to that story. You know, Bob, in your book, 90% Mental, one of the things I appreciated with the way that you started was, you know, chapter one is all about the breath. And you said, you know, this is where the book begins, this is where it will end, the breath, because the breath sustains life. And if you can master the art of controlling it, you can reduce blood pressure, improve sleep, maintain health, sharpen focus, improve job performance.

And, you know, you go on about that. Tell us about, you know, your philosophy on the importance of the breath. And we can talk about it in baseball, but perhaps maybe outside of baseball, too. Yeah, well, it's, I mean, we've all, mindfulness and meditation have certainly been on the upswingwing and rightfully so. As we know, it's not anything new, but its benefits are new because of the technology we can see and find out more about. But, you know, the prologue to the book really was brought to light to me the importance of to be able to control that. And, you know, it's a story about hiking up Camelback Mountain and getting off the path and what I did as a result of that is I panicked you

know I hear stories about people getting airlifted off or even dying on the mountain and and and one thing that I was told was to stay on the path, I got off the path and didn't know where I was. And I felt like I was at one point, I felt like I was going to, you know, kind of get in a little bit of a loose rock pile and literally fall off the side of the cliff toward the Phoenician in Arizona. I was scared to death. And then at the same time, I had jumping chola cactus stuck in my thigh and in my right ankle. So I'm kind of losing my focus here. And it was really the, that was the biggest time that I really had to use my breathing. And it emphasized that. And I've told that story and I can relate it to performance because, you know, when our body, our normal reactions kick in, we don't breathe, you know, we're in the fight or flight.

So we have to be able to stop ourselves and say, wait a second, what I can do right now to help me the most is to take a breath and to slow down. So that's what I did. I took a couple of long, deep breaths and I said, okay. And I started thinking rational instead of it's going to fall off the cliff that, you know, I'm going to run out of water. I said, okay, where am I? I have, I have water. I have a phone. I have, I still have sun up. So let's think about what's the best way to do this. And that I was able to do that through my breath. I was able to calm myself through my breath. And the best part of that story, obviously I made it down safely. My leg was bleeding and my ankle was sore.

So I did what any good-blooded American guy would do is I went to the grocery store, I bought some Neosporin and some Band-Aids and a six-pack of Budweiser and some ice and treated my wounds and drank some beer. But so the breath is really, really important. And I tell players, you know, pitchers to use it and to practice it. You know, we take it for granted. And then when we want to use it, it's not the same effect. You know, I hate, I dislike seeing the players that take that one quick breath, like, you know, it's eyewash and it doesn't do anything.

It just shows, shows me that you're nervous and you can't control your, you're not controlling your, your emotional system. So I think pitchers can take breaths before they throw their first pitch. Every inning they can take a breath when they get into those bad counts that we talked about. I think hitters can take a breath, you know, when they're in the dugout before they come out to hit, when they go to the on-deck circle, and certainly when they're at the plate. And by practicing those on a regular basis, it becomes more readily available to use when the storms come up in performance. You have your breath there because you've already practiced it. So really, really important. Bob, thank you so

much for joining us today. You know, I think about just the wealth of wisdom and knowledge that you shared with the listeners. I'm so grateful that you spent some time with us and want to share with you the things that I got from the interview. So I was taking some notes as we were talking as well. Oh, good. Yeah, I liked what you said about when we were talking about that this happens in the NFL and Major League Baseball, how players can get so future-oriented and ask themselves, you know, like, worry about what-ifs. And the strategy you shared was to put the so in front of that, you know, so what-if. I think that's really powerful and impactful for those

people who might be struggling with future-oriented thoughts. I also like what you said about the positive anchoring statement and helping athletes think about how they want to feel or how does it feel. And you shared yours, just like on the side and how you use that. And then I also appreciated the last thing about when you were sharing, you know, why the book 90% mental, why the title, but you notice how you asked the players, you know, there are three domains of performance, mental, physical, and fundamental. And, you know, which one you think connects with you or relates to most about why you're

not reaching your potential. And it was mental. All the time. Yeah, all the time. I think about even myself, right? It's not my knowledge of sports ecology. You know, it's really about my mindset and continuing to improve on that. So tell us how we can get the book. Yeah, the book is available on Amazon and it's in most stores, Barnes and Noble around. There's also a local bookstore

that Gibson's bookstore in Concord, New Hampshire, that if you want a personalized copy, you could call a bookstore. Michael is the owner and I've go down there and sign often. So if you want to personalize one, you can order it through Gibson's and they'll send it to you. I'll sign it. And then you can also get it on my website, BobTooksBray.com. And so, yeah, so those are the places that you can get the book. And I know, Bob, you also have an audio program for athletes and for maybe youth coaches. Tell us a little bit about that audio program. Yeah, well, thanks for mentioning that. I have two. I have a Foundations in Mental Skills for Pitchers and a Foundation in Mental Skills for Hitters, and it's kind of designed for kids ages 10 to 16. Certainly coaches could use this, listen to this. There's tracks on this about

techniques on improving self-talk, breathing, imagery, concentration, journaling. And so I think it's a good little intro. I think they're about 28 or 30 minutes long. They're not too long, but informative. And so those are available on the website as well. You can just order it on there. And so I appreciate that shout out for those. Of course, you know it,

you know, so you can get that at BobTooksBerry.com. And Bob, where else can we follow you? I know you're on Twitter. That's where I see you, but you know, what are other ways that we might be able to connect with you? Yep. Twitter is at Bob underscore TooksBerry. And the Instagram, I think it's just, I haven't used that much to be honest with you lately. I think it's just, I haven't used that much to be honest with you lately. I think it's just Bob Tewksbury. It's B Tewksbury 39.

There it is. There I am. Found myself. I got to change my picture. Jeez, I'm chrome looking old. Love it. Love it. So, you know,

what advice would you have for people who are listening do you have a final piece of advice or you know something that you're thinking about lately yeah I just think you know my I tell you what I think about every day is just trying to be where my feet are to um to really uh not be concerned with the future to you know not look back i think i'm i'm i'm good at not looking back but i'm need to be better at not looking too far ahead and i think that that translates to all of us and i know it translates to athletes and to get them in the moment so that is my goal is to um you know use my breath to be in the present moment, to enjoy

all that's going on around me right now. And so I would encourage everyone to do the same. Love it. Love it. Well, Bob, I am so incredibly grateful for the opportunity for us to listen to you today and to connect with you. So thank you so much for taking the time to speak with us. Oh,

what a thrill. You kidding me to be on your show. It's like awesome. Thanks for having me. You know it. Thank you. Thank you for listening to high performance mindset. If you like today's podcast,

make a comment, share it with a friend and join the conversation on Twitter at mentally underscore strong for more inspiration and to receive Sindra's free weekly videos, check out DrSindra.com.