High Performance Mindset | Learn from World-Class Leaders, Consultants, Athletes & Coaches about Mindset - 233: Choosing Positivity

Episode Date: February 14, 2019

“Positivity is like a boomerang. The more we put it out there, the more it comes back to us.”  Jon Gordon    High performers choose positive. They ask themselves, how is this happening FOR ME, remembering that when you are negativity, to change your focus, and then make a deliberate intention each day to be positive through your morning routine.   Power Phrase this Week: I choose positivity. I choose to bring positive energy each day and in each situation.

Welcome to High Performance Mindset with Dr. Sindra Kampoff. Do you want to reach your full potential, live a life of passion, go after your dreams? Each week we bring you strategies and interviews to help you ignite your mindset. Let's bring on Sindra. Dr. Sindra Kampoff with us today. High Performance Mindset on The Country Club. Good morning, Sindra. Good morning. It's great to be here. Glad the weather was participating so far this morning. It's always been tricky the last couple weeks or so, but today we're trying to keep it positive, even with another five, six inches of snow bearing down on us here pretty soon. Choosing positivity is the subject for today, and we always start with a quote. What do you have for us today? This is a quote by John Gordon. He said,

positivity is like a boomerang. The more we put it out there, the more it comes back to us. Love that, because it's so true, and it's also difficult, however, and we'll get into that in a bit. We always start with a story. What do you want to start with today? So this week I spoke as the opening keynote for the School Business Officials Conference. I learned quite a bit about what they do, and they're sort of like the CFO of schools. They make really tough decisions, are in charge of the financials in the school district. They get complaints from

teachers and parents. And they also help make the decision in school districts on if school should be closed because of the weather. Man, that's a tough decision. And they take a lot of criticism, don't they? Absolutely. And so afterwards, I was asking people, what stood out to you? And every single one of them said, stay positive. And I was thinking about how we all need that. Even when I ask people who listen on single one of them said, stay positive. And I was thinking about how we all need that. Even when I ask people who listen on Monday mornings and they, you know, I said, well, what should I talk more about? And they say, positivity. Positivity. All right. So why does this matter?

So this is a really interesting research that I think will catch people's eye in terms of what we know about high performing teams. And so you think about it like your team and your family is a team, your team at work, your team in sports. What we know is high performing teams have an 85% positivity percentage. So that means like what they say to themselves or what they say to each other, their nonverbals, their verbals are positive. And low performing teams have a 29% positivity percentage. Wow. And even like when we thrive, we have a 75 compared to when we don't thrive, we have a 25. So it really does make a difference. Even like divorce marriages and thriving marriages, we know thriving marriages have an 83% positivity percentage and divorce marriages have a 41.

So there's real consequences to positivity. And I'm not talking about fake positivity. None of these numbers are 100%, which I think is really important. Because that to me is just fake positivity, right? But I mean, real positivity with real purpose and vision and optimism is really what we're talking about today. So I mentioned that being positive is hard, especially if you need to increase the amount of positivity that you live day to day with. So how do we do that? How do we stay positive?

So one question to ask yourself is, how do you approach times when they're difficult? And I think that is one way that you can increase your positivity percentage. So, for example, when it gets difficult, do you take more of a victim approach? Like, oh, why is this happening to me? Right. Instead of a creator approach and a creator approach would say, well, you well, how is this happening for me, not to me? And when it gets difficult, do you see it as like a gift and something that's lead to something better or something that you can learn from?

So that's really important. I have said that it's happening for me, not to me, to like for a couple of specific instances within the last month. Awesome. And what's people's reaction when you say that? Well, you know, here's the thing is I realized about myself, because you do that, something's happening to you,

and then you think about it, and you realize that you're being negative, and then you realize. And it takes a minute to make that switch. Absolutely. It doesn't take very long. Calling yourself out. I don't know what people think,

but I know that it took me like a minute, like, okay, this is what you're doing. This is how we look at it. Okay, this is better. Absolutely. It doesn't take very long. I don't know what people think, but I know that it took me like a minute, like, okay, this is what you're doing. This is how we look at it. Okay, this is better. Absolutely. And it does. It does definitely make you feel better about it. So what's another thing we can do? Another thing that you can do is pay attention to where your focus is and your focus determines your feelings. So what I mean by that is if you want to change how you feel, the key is to change your focus. What are you paying attention to? So are you seeing what's right with your circumstances? Are you seeing what's right with your job or right with your family? Or are you thinking about, you know, what makes me lucky to be here instead of what's bothering you?

What can you treasure about today? Or, you know, as you're driving to work, thinking about, you know, what are you excited about today? What are you looking forward to? And again, your focus determines your feelings. So whatever you're paying attention to is going to determine how you feel. So the key is to focus on things that you're grateful for. And that's going to change how you're feeling as well. So your focus. And another thing we can do to be more positive? I'd say think about how you're starting your day. So a deliberate intention on how you start your

day is really important. What we know on an intentional morning routine is a habit of high performers so you know are you starting your morning in a state of happiness or are you rushed or anxious tj we're always rushed and anxious it depends on trying to get depends on the day right right so what should be in our morning routine like what kind of things should we look for? Good question. So I read this book by Hal Enrod. It's called A Miracle Morning. It's a great book. And he talks about the morning routine of high performers.

And one of the examples he gives is it could just be like a six-minute routine. And so, you know, every minute is something different. So one minute of silence, one minute of affirmations, one minute of visualization, one minute of like writing in a journal, one minute of reading and one minute of exercise. And it doesn't have to be six minutes. You know, what I notice is when I take my boys to school, if I wake up and I'm just lay there and I'm more calm and I'm thinking about what I'm grateful for, I show up in a different state with them. And then that drive is really happy compared to when I'm anxious or not happy. It's weird how that positivity thing can work its way into all parts of your life or the opposite of that, the negativity, which you're trying to avoid. Absolutely. How do we summarize today?

So I'd say high performers choose positivity. They ask themselves, how is this happening for me? And remembering that when they're negative to change their focus, they also make a deliberate intention each day to be positive through their morning routine. And what is our power phrase for this week? I choose positivity. I choose to bring positive energy each day and in each situation. Write that down on a post-it note, put it on backwards and put it on your forehead. And then every time you look in the mirror, you'll see that this week. Sindra Kampoff with us today.

If we want to connect with you, what's the best way to do that? You can head over to Dr. Sindra, so D-R-C-I-N-D-R-A. You can find the book information, the positivity percentages, and some of this is in the book, Beyond Grit. And you can find that information there. All right. Thank you very much. Thanks for having me.

Sindra with us today. Dr. Sindra Kampoff, High Performance Mindset, Choosing Positivity. Thank you for listening to High Performance Mindset. If you like today's podcast, make a comment, share it with a friend and join the conversation on Twitter at Mentally Underscore Strong. For more inspiration and to receive Sindra's free weekly videos, check out DrSindra.com.