High Performance Mindset | Learn from World-Class Leaders, Consultants, Athletes & Coaches about Mindset - 236: Clear the Fear and Be Here

Episode Date: March 5, 2019

“Fear is your brains way of saying that there is something important for you to overcome.” Anonymous Power Phrase this Week: “I clear my fear and be here. I stay focused on the process and work to be my best one step at a time.”

Welcome to High Performance Mindset with Dr. Sindra Kampoff. Do you want to reach your full potential, live a life of passion, go after your dreams? Each week we bring you strategies and interviews to help you ignite your mindset. Let's bring on Sindra. Dr. Sindra Kampoff with us today for High Performance Mindset on The Country Club. Good morning, Sindra. Good morning. It's great to be here. Good to have you in. I like alliteration. It helps me remember things. If there's a catchy way to say something and I can remember it, it helps out. And today we have that kind of thing going on with our topic.

Clear the fear and be here. We like to start with a quote. Go ahead. This is an anonymous quote. It goes like this. Fear is your brain's way of saying that there is something important for you to overcome. Like it. That's pretty good.

I like it too. All right. So we usually start with a good it. That's pretty good. I like it too. All right. So we usually start with a good example. What's your example today? Well, so a few years ago, I was working with a Maverick baseball team here at Minnesota State. And I remember talking to them in the dugout before they left for the national championship. And we use this phrase that we're talking about today, clear the fear and be here. And this mentality helped them get them all the way to the championship game, which is their ultimate dream. And I wrote an article in the free press that I've been thinking a lot about.

So I pulled it out and I reread it for myself. And we were just before we went on the air, we were talking about different examples in sport and how fear and anxiety can show up and impact someone's performance. So that's really what we're talking about today, but not just related to sports. Sure. How is this an example then of how we get in our own way? Well, fear can come in many forms. And when we feel it, it can really stop us dead in our tracks. Many times it can feel like it paralyzes us. And I think of all of one single thing, I think it's actually fear that keeps us from reaching our potential and holding us back the most. So some examples might be like fear of failure.

You might ask yourself, well, what if I tried? It doesn't work out. Or maybe you fear letting people down like your boss or your colleagues or your coaches or parents. Or maybe you fear making mistakes. When we tend to worry about things not in our control, we can really build fear up in our minds. We're predisposed, right? It's that fight or flight thing. Absolutely. And fear seems to want to take over more often than not. So how can we see this on a person's body? Well, you'd be able to see it because they might easily get frustrated if it doesn't go perfectly or they can really be upset over mistakes.

Or you can sometimes see it in people's eyes when I'm watching people. Their eyes get really glossy and unfocused and their body gets really tight and not relaxed. So that's what I would say. You know, you can feel it in your body when it gets really tight. Sure. Man. So what do you think causes all the fear? You know, I think the number one thing is really the strive for perfection. And I think when we strive for perfection, instead of just being our best or excellence, we don't allow or accept any mistakes. And yet in order for us to be successful, we have to fail, right? Failure can be a good thing because we learn important lessons that

allows us to really keep pushing ourselves and striving to be at our best. So I think that's the number one thing that causes it, perfection. Yeah, that just made me think about it. I watched the movie Free Solo. Oh, awesome. Was it great? Yeah, they talked a lot about fear and how Alex Hammond and how he has this fear and what he does with that,

which is also interesting because they put him in an MRI and they looked at his amygdala. There's like no reaction. So he's got different makeup than other people. Wow. So it's just kind of a neat thing. But what do you think that is one thing that you could tell us to do to overcome our fears? So I think many times, you know, perfection sets in.

And then also when we're focusing on the outcome, like what could go wrong? And so we can overthink sometimes the importance. That's what can paralyze us. So to address it, I think we have to stay focused on the process, the how of doing our best, and then we have to stay in the present. And the best thing to do is to take a deep breath, clear your mind. So today we're talking about clearing the fear and being here, right? Clear the fear, a deep breath and stay in the present. And the deep centering breath can allow you to kind of brush off the concern and really be in the present, which is where your best happens anyway. So what else would be important for us to do?

I think changing your reference of perfection is really important. I think it's impossible to be perfect, right? No one is. So we want to have high standards for ourselves, but reflect excellence instead. And really seeing fear and maybe failure as an opportunity to grow and learn about ourselves and i think that's one of the ways we can really overcome it and clear it and be here i think we you know we talk about a lot about sports obviously we were talking about the baseball team or lisa and i have a lot of hockey discussions because of the amount of hockey we're involved in on and off the air we have those discussions but i think in everyday life too you think about things and especially

like teenagers well i don't want to be embarrassed or i don't want someone to remember if you're in a public speaking situation and it wasn't until i could get over that that whole you know what if i make a mistake it is not going to be the defining moment of my life for the rest of my life you know it's like most of i might think everyone is thinking about my mistake when in reality like 30 seconds later they're over it right for sure it's not a big deal i mean it's uh everyone makes those mistakes and you know what you were brave enough to get up in front of those people or you were brave enough to take on that challenge and even if you made a mistake hopefully you learned from it and in the grand scheme of things,

there's not going to be some dude on his deathbed 100 years later going, remember that time that girl said that thing and she screwed it up? They're just not going to do it. So you have to be able to kind of shrug that off

and get over it. And it really, really does help. And getting out there and maybe trying some things that do strike a little bit of fear into you, you might find a new passion for something. Love it. Great advice.

Get out there and get after something that scares the crap out of you once in a while. I don't know that free climbing the side of a mountain or anything like that is anything I'm going to have any time soon. That's a totally different dude, man. But what he did say was, I just practice it until it doesn't feel scary anymore. Wow. So he just was overcoming it, right, with practice. Yeah.

Clear the fear. He cleared the fear. And be here. So how do we summarize this topic today? So I'd say high performers, those people who are working to reach their greater potential, they know they can experience fear and they act despite of the fear. They clear the fear with a deep breath, get back into the present and focus on the process or the how, and they go for it. And what is our power phrase for this week? I clear my fear and be here. I stay focused on the process and work to be my best one step at a time. Good stuff.

If we want to get in touch with you or listen to the podcast, I know that these episodes that we do every Monday here end up on your podcast as well as some other great interviews with the best in the industry. Plus, there's the book and all that stuff that you're up to. How do we get in touch with you? Probably the best way would be to go over to Dr. Sindra. So D-R-C-I-N-D-R-A.com. And you can find the book Beyond Grit over there in the Academy. And I have a chapter in the book about fear. So that's really what today is based on, along with the article. Excellent. Thank you

very much. Thanks for having me today. Thank you for listening to High Performance Mindset. If you like today's podcast, make a comment, share it with a friend and join the conversation on Twitter at Mentally Strong. For more inspiration and to receive Sindra's free weekly videos, check out DrSindra.com.