High Performance Mindset | Learn from World-Class Leaders, Consultants, Athletes & Coaches about Mindset - 239: Former Pro Football Player Shares Story of Forgiveness and How to be a GameChanger in Life

Episode Date: March 15, 2019

Orlando Bowen is a former professional football player whose mission is to inspire people to be GameChangers in the lives of others. GameChangers influence the path, perspective or possibilities for others and inspire people to see beyond their circumstances as they pursue excellence. Orlando has been motivating corporate audiences for years through keynotes and through his role of founder and Executive Director of One Voice One Team Youth Leadership Organization. He equips people to get off the sidelines and become GameChangers in business and life. Orlando has been recognized for his work by: Being awarded a Queen Diamond Jubille Medal, a national Harry Jerome Award, a national Canadian Youth Leadership Award, and is the feature of a nationally televised W-5 documentary entitled Personal Foul. In this podcast, Orlando and Cindra talk about: The night that ended his football career His motivation for starting his non-profit How pain is invitable but misery is optional What you say to yourself matters especially when things don’t go your way You can find a full description of the Podcast at cindrakamphoff.com/orlando.

Welcome to High Performance Mindset with Dr. Sindra Kampoff. Do you want to reach your full potential, live a life of passion, go after your dreams? Each week we bring you strategies and interviews to help you ignite your mindset. Let's bring on Sindra. Welcome to the High Performance Mindset Podcast. This is your host, Sindra Kampoff, Certified Mental Performance Consultant, Speaker, and Author. And today, I'm grateful that you're here, ready to listen to episode 239 with Orlando Bowen. Now, the goal of these interviews is to learn from the world's best athletes,

leaders, speakers, experts, or consultants all about the topic of mindset to help us reach our potential to be high performers in our field or sport. Now typically with two episodes weekly, we explore everything related to mindset. Today you can learn about the area of forgiveness from Orlando Bowen. Now before we head over to Orlando, I'm going to go over to iTunes and read a rating and review. This is from Zach Charles and Zach Charles says, great content. The podcast is awesome. The content is exactly what you need and want to learn about as being a high performer. The information on the podcast helped me in my jujitsu and in my professional MMA career. Thanks for the great work. Thank you so much, Zach.

I appreciate your comment over there on iTunes. Shout out to Zach over there for posting. And if you enjoy the podcast or if you enjoyed today's episode, I'd encourage you to go over wherever you're listening to the podcasts that might be on iTunes, Stitcher Radio, iHeart Radio, and post a rating and review, and I will make sure I read it in the next episode.

Now, in today's episode, I interview Orlando Bowen, and I interviewed him last week, and I have been thinking about his interview ever since, and I think you will feel the same after listening. Orlando shares a really powerful message about forgiveness. And his message about forgiveness is about the night that ended his pro football career that you'll be thinking about for a long time. Orlando Bowen is a former professional football player whose mission is to inspire people to be game changers in the lives of others. Now a game changer influences the path, perspective, or possibilities for others and inspires people to see beyond their circumstances as they pursue excellence. Now Orlando has been motivating corporate audiences

for years through keynotes and through his role of the founder and executive director of One Voice, One Team youth leadership organization. It's a nonprofit that he started. And he equips people to get off the sidelines and become game changers in business and in life. So Orlando has been recognized for his work by being awarded a Queen Diamond Jubilee Medal, a National Harry Jerome Award, a National Canadian Youth Leadership Award, and is the feature of a nationally televised W5 documentary entitled Personal Foul. So if you want to learn more about Orlando after listening to this podcast, I'd encourage

you to just Google W5 documentary entitled Personal Foul and you'll learn more about his story. We also talk about his motivation for starting his nonprofit, how pain is inevitable, but misery is optional, and you can tell that he lives this phrase. And we also talk about what you say to yourself really matters, especially when things don't go your way. So I know you're going to enjoy this powerful story from Orlando

Bowen and you can find the full description of the podcast at cindracampoff.com slash Orlando and you can also reach out to Orlando and I on Twitter. We're both on there and we'd love to hear from you what stood out to you about this podcast interview and you can follow us or find us there on Twitter. Orlando is at Orlando Bowen, and I am at Mentally underscore Strong. All right, without further ado, let's bring on Orlando. All right, welcome to the High Performance Mindset. I am so grateful to have you today, Orlando, on the podcast. So how are you doing over there?

Woo-hoo! I am excited. I am excited. So excited to be here, Sindra. Thank you for the invitation. And more importantly, thank you for the work that you do. I don't know if you realize how significant of an impact you make in people's lives. So I want to say thank you from somebody looking from the outside in at all the brilliance that you bring to the table. Well, Orlando, I'm going to say the same thing to you. I know that as I'm going to hear today, all the brilliance that you bring to the table. Well, Orlando, I'm going to say the same thing to you.

I know that as I'm going to hear today, all the millions of people that you've impacted with your speaking and your foundation. So thank you so much for starting that way. I appreciate that because, you know, I think people don't say that we're appreciative of each other enough. So I'm grateful for you, Orlando. And so I know quite a bit about you, but the listeners might not. So tell us a little bit about your passion and what you do right now.

Okay. So my passion, my passion is helping people get off the sidelines of business and life and make a difference in the lives of others. Sometimes people discount what they bring to the table because maybe it's not as glossy or it's not the excellence that they think would need to be celebrated. But every experience that we have, well, my belief is that every experience that we have shapes us and prepares us opportunities to be game changers. Ah, nice. So tell us about how you started speaking. Let's start there. Yeah. So, you know, I always want to help. So help is like the magic word for me. And, you know, I was working in corporate America in Chicago as an

IT consultant and just finished up, you know, my studies at Northern Illinois University, home of the Huskies. Love it. It was, you know, I did a bachelor's in marketing, a master's in the management of information technology and was working in IT in Chicago, you know, making really good money and thinking I had arrived. And then there were a couple things that happened in communities close to where I worked downtown, where young people were getting involved in antisocial behaviors. And, you know, these teenagers trying to recruit a younger youth to be in their gang or to run with them. And they gave him a task and he didn't fulfill the task.

It was a nine-year-old and the teenagers took his life. And in that moment, I was thinking, well, like, what does it mean if I gain everything materialistically that I've ever wanted, but know that there are people out there that are hurting, that I might be able to do something to help. Really so much, you know, I'm a firm believer that life is all about perspective. So if we could help give people perspective, it could help shift what they see possible for themselves and then have their actions follow with what they then believe. So I actually took

a leave of absence, left my consulting job in Chicago. Got an invitation to try out for the professional football team in the Canadian Football League, the Toronto Argonauts. And I had one question for the scout. I said, if I make the team, will I have an opportunity to serve in community? Absolutely. So I took a leave of absence, came and immediately once upon upon making the team, I got involved in community work. So I was working with sick youth, homeless youth, newcomer and refugee families. You know, I was working with police services, doing training for them in racial sensitivity, doing outreach and trying to bridge the gap between police and community. So I was just like, how can I help? How can I serve? I didn't know exactly what it was going to look like, but I knew that I needed to do something. So I was trying to

do everything that I could. And the serving part, where did that come from? I think sometimes people, they might not even have that in them or at least not their perspective. Where do you, because that sounds really deep for you. Where does that serving part come from? It comes from how I was raised, actually. You know, our family was really big on being excellent. And, you know, they would say, hey, you know, you have to be your absolute best. But as you, you know, become your best and better your best, they're like, you have to be your absolute best. But as you, you know, become your best and better your best, they're like, you have to make sure that as you do that, you go, make sure you go across the street and you help Sally over there. Right. Because that's what you want to be your best.

So you can help others be their best. Yes. You know, it's about, you know, raising the, we talked the way I share it is raising the bar, but then raising the floor so that more people can reach the bar nice raise the floor but raise the bar and raise the floor love it love it so that's been kind of it was it was modeled a lot like yeah my parents grandparents didn't they spoke about it a few times but they lived it right so it was of like, this is just who we are. This is what we do. Regardless, it doesn't matter what space you're in. It's about doing just that, raising the floor, being your excellent self so you could be an example, but also doing that so

that you could help. As you increase your capacity, you grow your capacity to serve. Love it. Love it. Love it. So tell us how long you played in the CFL and what that experience was like for you. All right. It was an amazing experience. I played the greatest position on the field. Yes. Linebacker. That is a great position.

Phenomenal position. You know, I will, I was, I was always taught to give more than to receive and and that linebacker position affords that that privilege um to be the hammer and not the nail type of thing so you know I played linebacker in for for four years three years with the Toronto Argonauts and then one with the Hamilton Tiger Cats, which is where I finished my career. So I know you had an impactful experience. I don't even know if that's the word that I should use, but that's the word that comes to mind. Tell us a little bit about what happened that ended your career. Okay. So, you know, I was in like this, again, from the outside looking in I think things would have just seemed amazing in

terms of our family's journey and my life at the time I was playing professional football married to my wife is a hottie and you know married to my bride and we had one son Dante he was one year old and she was pregnant with our second and I was acting in an ESPN series called Playmakers. Of course. And you know everything was just just seemed amazing right and I signed a contract extension with the Hamilton Tiger Cats the team I was playing for at the time and and went out to celebrate with them. And as I was waiting on my teammates to arrive, two guys approached me, and they both were armed with guns. They ended up grabbing me, and one threatened to shoot me in the head.

The other one grabbed me, and they tried, you know, they were trying to get me down to the ground and started to beat me and beat me until the skin on my head split. And I remember being face down on the pavement thinking, this is how I'm going to die? Like, what I haven't done all these things that I need to do yet. And I haven't taught Dante how to tie his laces yet. And I haven't, you know, what about our unborn child? And I'm not going to be able to say goodbye.

There are all these thoughts kind of running through my head, like I can't believe this is it. You know, I just thought if I make it through this, you know, I'm going to make sure that I don't miss those opportunities to, you know, let people know I love them and say goodbye or bye for now. Just to say I survived the assault, but the assault ended my football career. I think the bigger challenge, and couldn't play, I couldn't pass my physicals. Okay. And I couldn't even stand without leaning against something because it felt

shifting beneath my feet. But a bigger challenge was that the assault happened at the hands of two corrupt undercover police officers who worked for the police force that I was a spokesperson on so you know the same force I went into schools with and we equipped and empowered young people to stand up for the right thing and so I was working with so many amazing officers back then and I still do to this day so I knew that one of them was going to stand up and say hey um we made a mistake or hey like we need to fix this but they were no one did they were afraid so you know they you know they didn't say anything and then when the gentleman

I was assaulted by realized that I was their spokesperson and did all this work, a huge cover-up began. Okay. I was taken to jail. Like, it was just crazy. Crazy journey. You know, so I was taken to jail and charged with assaulting police and possession of a controlled substance, which they did in order to cover up the fact that I had been assaulted. Okay. and uh which they did in order to cover up the fact that i had been assaulted okay so and and you know having an officer come in and take the oath to tell the truth and then look at me and then look at the judge and you know say your honor he's six foot two and

235 pounds and he's actually trained to hurt people I've never been in such fear for my life and all I could think was how could you say that like how could you do that to another human being right and and in that moment I I just felt like what could he possibly have been through to allow him that capacity to do that to somebody else, especially when he knows the truth. And I felt like this deep sense of, you know, sorrow and compassion for him. Cause I was just like, I can't imagine what someone must have been through in order to have that capability. Right. So, you know, in our family, you know,

we're big on prayer. Faith is big in our family. And so in that moment, when he was saying those things, I started praying for him to get the help that he needed and for the truth to come out in what some would consider to be a strange twist of events. Six months before we were supposed to get the verdict in my case, saying that the arresting officer was himself arrested by the national police or the equivalent of the FBI for trafficking cocaine. So it was just, it was crazy. You know, I ended up being, I was acquitted. Officer that was charged.

He was convicted sentence to go to jail for five years, eight months. Then people came and they wanted to celebrate. They're like, yes, you stole your career. You almost destroyed your family. Let's go celebrate. And I said, we can't celebrate that. He's a dad like he's a father just like i am right he's he's a husband like i am i can't celebrate someone else's pain but i tell you what i will do i'll do whatever i can to help people understand that you know they don't have to be defined by their journey right they don't have to be defined by the things that happened to them. Those things are just about what we do with those things that shape what's

possible as we go forward. So I wrote a letter of forgiveness to the two officers that I was assaulted by. And in it, I shared that, you know, I'm actually, you know, I said, this may sound, sound very strange, but in this game of life, we're actually on the same team. And I want to courageously express the fact that I'm thankful and forever in debt to you for this experience because it changed my life. It made me a better father and a better husband. So I let them know that I i forgive them 100 and i'm

i love them 99 i'm still working on that last one you know through this journey while we were going through it you know i i realized earlier that it wasn't about me it was much bigger and it was about giving people who were going through circumstances that seemed insurmountable. Yes. Challenges that seemed like they were more than a brick wall to let them know that it's possible to get through it. Right. So we needed to get through it in order to embody that message. And then to also let other people know that it doesn't matter how much the odds are stacked against you. Yes.

Greatness is still possible. Yeah, so we've been, you know, I launched One Voice One Team in the midst of, like, I was on trial for assault police and possession when we started One Voice One Team because we saw young people giving up on life. And people thought that I was crazy. They're like, why? Like nobody's going to ever support you, you know, because of what you like. You're up on these charges and you've got all this stuff going on. Why don't you just keep a low profile? And I said, I can't not do anything and watch people give up on life and on relationships and on their goals and their dreams, right? I have to do something. And because I still have breath in my body, I will do something.

So, you know, that something was one voice, one team in terms of what we do with young people. And it is now, you know, speaking corporately with what we do with adults. Orlando, you know what? One thing that I'm hearing is, I think some people going through your situation would have been so frustrated or defeated. But what I'm hearing is like, you're grateful for this experience. And that might be hard for people

to kind of wrap their brain around, you know, like, how are you grateful that you went through this? And I can see it now, because if you didn't go through this, maybe you wouldn't have started One Voice, One Team, maybe you wouldn't be speaking, maybe you wouldn't be going out in prisons, right? And speaking to prisons, you know, so I can see that it changed your trajectory. But what advice would you give for people who are going through, you know, something really difficult like that? And I think for me, the thing I'm hearing is like,

this isn't even anything that you did, right? Like it was just wrong place at the wrong time for whatever reason, you know, they chose to attack you. So what advice would you give to other people? Yeah. So, you know, I have a friend that often says that, you know, pain is inevitable, but misery is a choice. So there's going to be things that happen to us and pain, as is joy, they're parts of the human experience. Right.

Life goes like this, right? So if we understand that that's a part of the journey, then you understand that it's not you. Right. It's not, you know, your journey is bigger than just your own. You know what I mean? Like we look at folks who have been through things and have, you know, stood for things that they really believed in. And we draw strength from that. Right. But we're all going to be challenged with, you know, what I call these moments of truth where you have an opportunity to, you know, kind of stand up for what you believe in or fall down or sit down and make an excuse as to why you didn't stand. Right. So, you know,

if you're going through something, understand that there's often in our perspective, there's a bigger picture. Yes. There's a bigger picture in terms of how you deal with that challenge that you're going through. There's a bigger picture in that you learn things about yourself as you go through challenges, as you go through adversity. So if you can understand that it's, you know, and even in the midst of adversity, there are things, there were things for us to celebrate. The fact that I could hug my kids and tell them I love them before they went to bed or before I left them is a gift in and of itself. If all I did was kept on thinking about what I had been through, I would miss out on what was present and the gifts that are right in front of me. Yes. Right. So I, you know,

I understand that there are things that cause challenge, but there are gifts right here in the present. So if when you can acknowledge those gifts, you start to realize that even though you're going through these challenges, there are things to still be thankful for. And there are things to still look forward to. And there are things to still look forward to. And sometimes you have to search a little harder than other times. Right.

Those things, they're out there. And do you think that experience made your gratitude and your love for your family just more heightened? Absolutely. Yeah. Absolutely. absolutely yeah absolutely and and you know again cinderella i mentioned that i was at this this point this moment where i some people say oh did you think you were gonna die and i was like no i knew i was gonna die like i knew that this it felt like this is it and um the other day i dropped um our two eldest sons dante and justice justice got name. He was who my wife was pregnant with when I was assaulted.

Okay. I dropped them at school and they went in and, you know, Dante, you know, he kind of jogs in, does his cool jog into the school. Justice is walking. He's got his backpack on. He has his trombone in his other hand. He gets to the door of the school and he looks back and he goes like this just a little wave of his hand and I thought that's what I would have missed wow had I not

been here right that moment is what I would have missed and what would that have meant to that young man? Right. So, so I'm grateful, you know, because I don't know if my perspective would have been, been the same. Right. And, and, and gratitude. Yeah. And I hear that you're living in a deeper way. Right. And I, I wonder if that wouldn't have taken place, you know, if,

if the assault wouldn't have happened. So what was it like in the moment have taken place, you know, if the assault wouldn't have happened. So what was it like in the moment dealing with something, you know, people maybe writing articles, newspapers about you, right? Believing that you did something like this when this wasn't even part of you and your character. What was that like in the moment and what was it like to deal with that? Yeah, so I'm a firm believer of self-talk, especially when things aren't going your way. Right. That's when that self-talk becomes, in my humble opinion, increasingly significant. So it's about what you believe about you, what you believe when you hold that device up to take that selfie unfiltered what do you see

in that moment because at the end of the day despite what was being said we knew who we are right we know who we are we know what we stand for you know we had people who were around us when the assault happened they distancedanced themselves, you know, you know, wouldn't stop returning phone calls and emails. And people said, that must be so hard to have your, you know, to be having your friends walk away from you. And I said, we didn't have any friends walk away. Every friend who knew who we were, what we stood for was still by our we stood for, was still by our side

and they're still by our side to this day. The folks who didn't know, there may have been a chance for them to exit. They were, I don't know, they were governed by perhaps what they read or what they believed and which is all good.

So I consider that to be a gift because let's keep around us the people who know who we are know what we stand for yeah that process when folks are like that must be so painful i'm like no it's actually it's like a cleansing yeah nice nice yeah the people who we know who we have around us right now in the midst of things yeah we know that they're for real. Yeah, they're for real. So tell me a little bit more and the listeners more how you think this experience informs your foundation and tell us a bit more about what you're doing in your foundation. Awesome. So as you mentioned before, the two things that I do now, I speak corporately and run

workshops for companies around being game changers. And then with the youth work that we do through one voice one team we'll often encounter young people who feel like they don't have much to offer because this one sir i don't come from resources i don't have i don't have and we say let's let's uh let's revisit that thought because you have more than you think you have right now. Nice. What you have right now is actually enough. Yes. Enough to be a game changer for somebody else.

So let us cultivate that. So we take them out and we build houses for people who don't have. We take them out and we feed homeless. We take them out and we do outreach for refugee families and for families in need. So that we can see that they could actually make a difference in someone else's life today. Even though they feel like they don't have all these things that they need to have to make a difference, they have enough. And once they believe that and know that to be their truth, then they start thinking, well, what is it that's possible

for me with what I have, right? And what's possible for me in terms of what I can do. You're helping them reframe it. Right. So they're not seeing what they don't have, but what they do have. Absolutely. Love it. Love it. Yeah. So, so it's been, you know, we've had, you know, we had a young man two weeks ago and I was speaking to a group of freshmen and sophomores at a, at a high school. You know, I finished speaking with the sophomore group,

and there's a little line of young people that wanted to just ask a question or share something. And this young man says, sir, since June, I've been so ticked off. He didn't say ticked. But I've been so ticked off about the fact that I failed my sophomore science class. Okay. But this morning, I realized that had I not failed that class, I wouldn't have learned the things that I learned

from this conversation that you had with us this morning. Outstanding. And he's like, I've never been so grateful for that experience. I thought it would have been something that would I would be kind of on my shoulders for the rest of my life but it is on my shoulders in the most positive way because of what it gave me access to right and I was just like that's deep bro well and I think like we we can really take like a victim approach right like why is this happening to me but what I'm hearing is like you're helping people can really take like a victim approach, right? Like why is this happening to me?

But what I'm hearing is like you're helping people really take more of a creator approach so they can feel like they're in the driver's seat of their life and what they're doing. Absolutely. Absolutely. And it's so important because it, you know, it then gives people reasons to be active participants in their lives versus feeling like life is taking them on a journey. Yeah. And there's so many outside circumstances that they can't control, right? It's really easy to blame those or to get frustrated about them. So tell me and the

listeners what you do with the prisons and how maybe your experience has impacted that and what you do now with them. Yeah, so interesting question. I appreciate that because I was at a couple of prisons speaking last week. And when I go in, when I go in to speak, the inmates are kind of before the introduction centers around me playing football and the work I do. And teammates are kind of sitting back like, this guy better be funny, man. Like, you know, like, he better, is he gonna do a song, a dance?

What's he gonna do? Make me laugh. And then as I start to share, you see the body language change and folks start leaning in. Yeah, it's been really, really powerful. You know, I had just last week, actually, a gentleman say, can I talk to you for

a second so I said absolutely so you know I kind of stepped to the side of where folks were gathered and he says I need your help in helping me save my son he's on my path but I need you to help him see another path. And in his eyes, I saw hurt, I saw regret, but I also saw hope. Right. And I said, you know, we got you. We got you. So we, you know, we were able to, you know, reach out and connect with his family, bringing his son into one of our programs, right? Just so that it's all about perspective. And it's just, you know, we're not always able to do that type of thing, but it just so happens that in this particular circumstance, based on geography and such, we're able to actually bring his son in

to some ongoing supports so that he could see a bigger picture. You know, when I go in, again, it's to help reframe what's possible to some ongoing supports so that he could see a bigger picture. You know, when I go in, again, it's to help reframe what's possible for inmates who might feel like they're doomed to a certain destiny and all is lost and there's no possible positive things that could come out of their situation and vehemently disagree with that. Right. So there's always greatness as possible. And sometimes it's us being willing to be uncomfortable that lends itself to those possibilities. Well, first of all, being open and then being willing to try and try and try and try and try and try until, you know, you move the needle on

something. Well, that's pretty awesome that, you know, that he trusted you so much to say, hey, can you help my son? And that you have this foundation that now does that, right? So Orlando, I know you talk a lot about being a game changer and I've heard you say like greatness is inside you, no matter what your circumstances are or where you're at. Tell us what you think a game changer means. Yeah. So a game changer, you know, my definition is someone who impacts the path, possibilities or perspectives of others. Nice. It's like someone who allows people to either, it's either you're shifting the trajectory or you're totally showing them illuminating a path that they didn't even know was a possibility. Right.

So, and sometimes what that means is just being, honestly, sometimes it's being a mirror for people. Absolutely. Because oftentimes there'll be people who demonstrate greatness or demonstrate a capacity or skill and they don't even know. They're just kind of doing what they do

and they're not thinking that it's anything of significance, you know, and they're actually, what they're doing and how they're showing up for others is absolutely phenomenal. They just haven't had anyone show that to them. Right.

Right? So we aim to be that mirror or that guide or the bushwhacker, right, that shows that there is another path. I remember speaking in a prison. We were in a maximum security prison with a gentleman that had really good energy. And, you know, I said to him, you know, when you get out of here, you know, what he was doing was he was writing letters

that working with the English teacher in the prison, writing letters to kids so that they can know that there is another path. So I said, that's amazing. Like keep on doing that, man. And you know, maybe when you get out, you don't have to write the letters. You can actually go tell them yourself. He said, you know what? Yeah, I'm probably not going to get out. And then you can feel the energy kind of, you know, drop in the space, right? And we said, no, no, we're not having that.

We're not having that. If you're feeling that way, then let us be your voice then. Tell us, right? If you are standing in front of a group of executives or if you're standing in front of a group of young people and you have the opportunity to share one message, what would that one message be? I need you to bring this message to them and let them know that it's better to walk down a cold and lonely path, be that the right path, than to be carried on the shoulders of screaming fans down the wrong path. And he said, had I known that, I wouldn't be here.

Wow. So it's these messages that, again, like who's thinking that you're going into a max security prison and you're going to come out inspired with messages that you're going to bring to people, right? That wasn't the intent. But every place we step into, we're open. Wow.

We're open to learning we're open to growing we're open to understanding more so that we could raise the bar and raise the floor and what i'm hearing is like that you're open to those those that wisdom whereas maybe some people in those situations wouldn't be opening really to learning and growing. Absolutely. The reality is we can learn and grow from anyone. Yes. If we're open. Yeah, for sure. Look at kids playing, look at, you know, toddlers, look at, you know, like there are opportunities

to learn through observation and through conversation if we're open to doing so. So, Orlando, when you think about, you see a wide variety of people right so from youth with your organization to corporations and executives to people in the prison can you think of something that they have in common that they're struggling with you know so like my question was going to be if you think about like what do you think a common struggle is that people have from a mental standpoint or a mindset standpoint yeah I, I think the common thread is thinking that they're not enough. They're not enough or they don't have enough or there's some shortfall or shortcoming that disqualifies them

from the greatness as they define it. Ah. Right? There's something that they don't have. They're like, if only, like, if only I could do this, or if only I had this, then I could.

We don't, we believe that, you know, sometimes there is, there are growth opportunities and things to get better at. But oftentimes that, that external thing that we're searching for, we already have. It's already in us. And again, sometimes folks just don't see that, right? So that's, if there were one common thread, I would say that that is it, like just not believing that they have

enough or what it takes to achieve excellence. And what advice would you give them? Yeah, so be open. Be open to learning. Be open to growing. And sometimes life's greatest gifts don't appear as gifts when they show up. It doesn't feel like a gift when it lands in your lap or when it slaps you across the face. But sometimes upon reflection, those things that shift our perspective are indeed the greatest gifts. So just be open and be willing to accept those things. You know, good, bad, and indifferent is really a choice in terms of how we choose to perceive the things that happen in our lives. I'm like, when things happen, I'm like, wow, I wonder what this is preparing me for. Love it. I wonder why this is happening. This is really interesting. This doesn't make a whole lot of sense. So there must be a purpose. And so when you're open to looking for what the purpose is, you often find what you seek.

Love it. And when you interact with a lot of people who might be considered successful, right? So what do you see them doing differently compared to others? I see a lot of the folks who some would look at and say they've achieved success. The folks who are on that path, they don't ever consider that they've arrived. Yes. Success for them is a, it's a journey. Right.

It's not a destination. And some of the, and you know this in terms of your work with high performance athletes. Often, you know, when they reach the podium or, you know, when they're hoisting the Lombardi trophy or, you know, whatever it is, what they relish the most is the journey, right? It's the folks that they did it with. It's a time when, you know, someone, you know, fought through their own personal adversity to contribute to the team right so the folks who have achieved um and are achieving you know my experience and interactions they seem to celebrate the journey there'll be times for them to stop and smell the roses that's

built in to their processes as well sure but they've they're they've never arrived yeah and i think when you think that you've arrived you also think that it can't keep on learning and growing you know and you're not humble so and when i think about mental toughness i think about how it's like this inner arrogance right like you know that you're you're confident and you're you you skills, but there's always room to grow and learn and get better. Always. Yeah. Always. And that is, that is, I think a shared mentality for folk, from folks who are achieving, you know, it doesn't come easy. It comes with, with, with the grind and with work and with repetition and then you have aha moments and and you have these moments in life that shift your perspective that allow you to see the tree that maybe you walk

past every day on your way into work all of a sudden that tree looks different one of our staff members you know his wife was pregnant with her first child and he says what's it like being a dad so i said i love that you asked that come on over come here with me so we walk to the window and i said you see that tree out there he says yeah i said after your wife gives birth and then we trust that everything you know will will go according to plan that tree won't look the same to you, right? Because we have these moments that shift our perspective in terms of life and what's important and what our roles are and what's possible. And so, you know, to be in a space where you can be present enough to be able to celebrate and honor those things is a gift in and of itself. Yes. Love it. Love it. You're making me think about all the ways that I should be even more

grateful for my boys and what I have. So a couple more questions I have for you, Orlando. One of the things I always ask people is to share with us a time that you failed and what you learned something about yourself or what did you learn from it? And as people are listening, I think that would be a really powerful story from you because people might think, well, he's got it all together, right? Like football at Northern Illinois, master's degree in information technology, right? Foundation. But tell us about a time that didn't go so great for you and what did you learn from it and what we can learn from your struggle yeah so I reflect back to when I go back to seventh grade and uh I had so we grew up not you know with not much means in terms of opportunities to for extracurriculars and you know grew up inner city and uh it wasn't until middle school that I had a chance to play organized

basketball. Okay. My uncle, Henry, he was like a basketball legend in the city. Right. So much so that when I, I would go with him to the gym to watch him play basketball. And as he stepped into the gym, there'd be guys. So since you imagine there's guys dribbling on the side and they're shooting baskets and my uncle steps in and guys

would literally stop shooting or dribbling and they would say how you doing Henry and I'm like man like okay I want and then I started feeling like yeah that's my uncle right there you know you know like but I had never played the game before. And I spent, you know, time watching him. Then I spent a weekend before my first ever organized basketball tournament in grade seven. I spent a weekend watching Michael Jordan, a video called Come Fly With Me. And he was like dunking and doing all these things. And I had started having these visions of what I was going to do when I had a chance to play the game. And I saw the game time came and I'm playing, I'm playing defense.

I'm a guy, he comes down, he's, you know, he's at the top of the key, pulls up for a jump shot. I jumped to challenge the shot. Okay. So my momentum is carrying me towards him. He misses the shot and our point guard Vaughn gets the rebound. Now, so because my momentum is carrying me towards him. He misses the shot and our point guard, Vaughn, gets the rebound. Now, so because my momentum was already carrying me towards the other team's basket, I kept going and it was an automatic fast break. Right. So I put my hand up. I'm like, Vaughn, pass me the ball. And Vaughn heaves the ball up to me. And when I caught it, I started having these visions of Michael Jordan. Come fly with me. I'm about to do something special, right?

So I get the ball and I'm thinking about, you know, dunking. I could barely touch the rim, right? So, you know, I take one bounce and I'm thinking this is about to be something good. I take another bounce and the ball bounced off my foot and went out of bounds. And when it went out of bounds our coach coach Greg Wood he took he had a he's always a baseball cap to our games he took his hat off he slammed it on the ground he turned to our point guard and he said Vaughn you know you shouldn't pass him the ball you know that he can't dribble and in moment, I was like, man, I must suck really bad. The coach didn't even get mad at me.

He got mad at the dude that passed me the ball. Like, that's pretty deep. And I felt like a weak link. And I really didn't want to step out on the court anymore. And I remember going to my uncle after that and and saying what does it take to be your best and he said you have to be willing to work and I said well what does that mean and he said you have to be willing to to like whatever it is that you want to get better at or if there's something that you feel your average at but if you're passionate about it

just be willing to put the work in so I he gave me a basketball and I would dribble for that summer between grade seven and grade eight. I would get up early in the morning, my garage, put some music on and I'd dribble to the beat for two hours. And then the other thing he said was you have to be willing to practice, even if you're by yourself, even if it's hot, even if it's raining, even if it's snowing, it doesn't matter. You have to be willing to sacrifice. So I did, and I practiced, you know, probably about seven hours a day. And when I went back, you know, I was much improved. I could imagine.

They're probably like, who is this Orlando? Much improved. Then I continued that between grade eight and grade nine and would, my morning started at about 5am and I will go to the gym. I would get to the gym at 555 or 557. It opened at six and I would train. My high school started at 821. I would train from six in the morning until 805. And every day that I trained, I imagined that the game was on the line, right? Every drill that I did, every sprint that I ran. And it's actually that work ethic that allowed me to get a football scholarship. Right. So, you know, I, I actually ran into coach Greg Wood at the airport and I thanked him

this was like 20 years after the fact he's like he had no recollection of throwing his head on the ground right did you tell him about the story yeah I told him the whole story and I said that was a transformative moment for me because in that moment, I promised myself that I would never again be a weak link on any team that I play on in sports, in business, or in life. I'm going to be the one that is, I'm going to grind. I'm going to work hard. I'm going to contribute. So that was a moment for me though, that, that shifted a lot of things. That's outstanding. Yeah. And what I'm hearing is like how that really embarrassing moment could have, you could have internalized that and thought, well, yeah, I'm just terrible at basketball. Like it's about your inner dialogue. That's what I'm hearing. But instead you chose to

use it as like motivation and then it really did allow you to do everything that you are today because of the way that you chose to see that situation. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. So Orlando, what's next for you now, you know, given everything you have going on, what's, what's the next five years going to look like for you? Well, the, the goal is to, you know, try to, you know, impact as many people as I can. You know, people ask, what do you celebrate?

Is it like when you're on stage in front of three or four or five thousand people or in a small group and my thing is when people who are in the audience see themselves or their possibilities different that's like my time to do a touchdown dance. Yeah. I celebrate that like there's no tomorrow because that transformation or that shift in perspective, even though it's personal, the impact isn't. The impact is felt by people around them and their families and their businesses. So my goal over the next five years

is to impact over a million people through speaking and through writing and through online programming. Wow. So how could people donate to your foundation or follow along with you? How might they reach out to you and follow your journey and get involved? Awesome. So in terms of donating to the foundation, onevoiceoneteam.org, and it's all spelled out, O-N-E voice, O-N-E team.org and it's all spelled out o-n-e voice o-n-e team.org you'll get more information about the programming um that is that is run there if they're interested in bringing me in to speak to their company or to their team orlandobowen.com um you'll find uh

information there just click on booking and we'll get the ball rolling, right? But the reason why I often say, you know, there's a reason why things happen and don't happen. And one of the reasons why my life didn't end on that night is because there are conversations that needed to be had. This is one of them. And one of the reasons why I'm so grateful for you, Sindra, and for the work that you do. Orlando, I'm grateful that you spent this time with us sharing your story. I think you are a role model of how to live and how to take really difficult situations and see them as like a blessing, right? That now has informed everything that you do and your being.

So I'm grateful that you, you know, just like you're an amazing human for us to model. So I'm grateful for the opportunity to be in your presence and then to hear more about your story and your journey. And, you know, I'll be following along. And are you on social media where people can reach out to you and say, Orlando, I loved the podcast? How might they reach out to you and say Orlando I loved the podcast how might they reach out to you there yep so I'm on Instagram Orlando Bowen Facebook Orlando Bowen LinkedIn you can email me Orlando at Orlando bone calm you know my thing is if you are I'm always interested in learning what's one thing you're walking away with or you know driving away with if you are, I'm always interested in learning what's one thing you're walking away with or, you know, driving away with if you're listening to it in your vehicle or what's one thing that

you're taking from this conversation. So if you can message me and share that with me, that would absolutely make my heart sing. Love it, Orlando. Thank you so much for your time today. My pleasure. Absolute pleasure. Thank you so much for your time today. My pleasure. Absolute pleasure. Thank you, Sindra. Thank you for listening to High Performance Mindset. If you liked today's podcast, make a comment, share it with a friend, and join the conversation on Twitter at Mentally Underscore Strong. For more inspiration and to receive Sindra's free weekly videos, check out DrSindra.com.