High Performance Mindset | Learn from World-Class Leaders, Consultants, Athletes & Coaches about Mindset - 240: No More FOMO!

Episode Date: March 19, 2019

“Every minute you spend wishing you had someone else’s life is a minute spent wasting yours.” Anonymous  High performers reduce their FOMO. They change their focus because happiness is about attention. They focus on gratitude - what they have not what they lack. Power Phrase this Week: “I change my focus. I focus on what I have not what I lack.”

Welcome to High Performance Mindset with Dr. Sindra Kampoff. Do you want to reach your full potential, live a life of passion, go after your dreams? Each week we bring you strategies and interviews to help you ignite your mindset. Let's bring on Sindra. It is time for High Performance Mindset today with Dr. Sindra Kampoff, and she is saddled up in studio with us today. Good morning, Sindra. Good morning. It's great to be here. You look tan. You do look tan. I know. For no reason.

For no apparent reason either, right? Well, that's good. It's good to... It's the new shirt. I think so. I got a new shirt that brings out the color. Animal prints. I like it.

Have that spring, I got back outside into some sunshine look to yourself this morning, which is awesome. I think everybody's looking forward to this week. It's going to be a beautiful week, so definitely get a lot warmer. So hopefully we'll all get a chance to get out and enjoy it. Today's topic is an interesting one. FOMO. And FOMO no more is what we're going to go with today.

And we always start with a quote. So where do you go with this one today? This is an anonymous quote. Every minute you spend wishing you had someone else's life is a minute spent wasting yours. All right. There we go. Good stuff. So let's go with an example.

Have you ever experienced a time where you wish you were in two places at once? Maybe you commit to going to one thing, but your heart and your mind is in the other. So this happens to me when there's a social event that I really wish I could be at, but I heart and your mind is in the other. So this happens to me when like, there's a social event that I really wish I could be at, but I have to do work. Or this happens to me where I experienced FOMO when maybe I say yes to something, but I really shouldn't. And so today we're talking about FOMO. And I want you to think about times where maybe you experience it. I was trying to think of a good example And I mean there's What the example of like This past hockey season let's say I was at a game that my daughter was playing in

When my son scored his first goal of the season And I wasn't there Yeah And then later in the season I was at my son's tournament And while I was at the tournament I got the text message That my daughter scored her first varsity goal

Absolutely And I wasn't there Absolutely And so I was like How could I be in two different places at once when really I'm like eight hours away, you know, and I missed all of that. I don't know that that's... Yeah, but you still wouldn't trade one for the other.

Right. You know, like that's a difficult thing. And the closest I think I could come to is like what you said, where I said yes to doing something. I'm committed to doing something, but I really don't want to be there. Sure. I really want to do... I really yes to doing something. I'm committed to doing something, but I really don't want to be there. Sure. I really want to do something else. And I'm sure that's happened. I can't think of one that's been like so standout, though. It's all kind of petty stuff usually for me, I guess. But anyway, so what is FOMO for those that don't know? Okay, so FOMO is fear of missing out. And so it's an uneasy feeling, sometimes an all-consuming feeling that you're missing out.

Maybe you're missing out from what your peers are doing or what they know about or that maybe they have something better than you do. And what the research shows is three-quarters of young adults have experienced FOMO. And like we said, you might feel it when you're missing out on a social activity because of personal obligations like studying or working. Or maybe you see it on social media what other people are doing and you might experience FOMO. All right. So where does this come from? Where do we come up with this fear of missing out? So actually, it's increased more with social media sites like Facebook and Instagram. So it's the cause and effect of FOMO. And there's some research that the more you engage in social media, the more likely you're going to experience FOMO.

But you can experience FOMO not just from social media, right? Just like the idea of fear of missing out. Like if somebody brings in their vacation pictures and you don't go on vacation or you haven't been on a vacation, you could feel like, oh, or is that jealousy? I don't know. What are the effects of feeling like that? So the effects are lower life satisfaction and a feeling of unhappiness. And like I said, social media makes it worse, not better.

And it can lead to a lot of unhealthy behaviors like distracted driving, where you might feel like you have to keep looking at your text messages or your emails. And it can lead to more fatigue and stress, and it can impact self-esteem. So these are all the reasons why maybe we want to keep our FOMO under control. Yeah, what can we do when we notice ourselves experiencing it? So I think these two strategies that we're going to talk about, everyone can use these more often, even if you are listening and you're like, I don't know if I experience FOMO.

So the first strategy would be to change your focus. Everyone can use these more often, even if you are listening and you're like, I don't know if I experienced FOMO. So the first strategy would be to change your focus. And I like this idea of that happiness is about attention. So rather than focusing on what you lack, try noticing what you have. So just noticing where you are and how grateful you are to be there. So focus less on the potential losses of missing out and on the gains of what you're doing now. And if you experience this on social media, maybe you add more positive people to your feed. And then you tend to hide the people that brag too much.

Have you seen my feed? Yeah, I don't think that's Lisa. No, I have an extremely positive social media feed. Oh, nice. Nice. I was thinking that you were bragging. No, no. Lisa's not bragging. No, I'm just like, I do that. Yeah, that's awesome. I just, I don't want to be barraged with blah. Absolutely. And you can change what you're paying attention

to. Absolutely. So what else can we do? The second thing you could do besides, you know, change your focus is to focus on gratitude. So focus on why you're grateful for what you have. Simply telling others that you appreciate them can lift your spirits and just appreciate where you're at. And I think that's really important because it's important to pay attention to what you have so that you aren't feeling the FOMO or feeling ungratefulness or frustration. I like the idea, though, like you said, of inundating yourself with the positive part of it. And you can make sure that that happens more often than not.

And there's a lot of it that's a choice, too. Sometimes you see things and you just have to choose to not have FOMO. Right. Yeah, that's a good point. I guess. But a good topic today. And I know that that happens quite a bit, you said, even with the younger folks. And I did kind of start thinking more about that. I thought about, I remember when my buddies would be in the fish house out on the lake, and I had to deliver pizzas all night long. And they would be calling me and ordering pizzas that I would have to bring to them.

And I just wanted to be there playing poker in a fish house. Yeah, I could see that. I'm like, that was FOMO back then, but I haven't had that as much now. As you got older. But now I'm just so busy all the time that I don't have time, I think. You don't have time for FOMO. To miss out on things, yeah. It's constantly going.

So how do we summarize today's topic? Because it is a good one, and I think it's something we all experience from time to time. So high performers, they reduce their FOMO. They change your focus because happiness is about attention, what you're paying attention to, and they focus on gratitude. So what they have. All right. And our power phrase for this week.

I change my focus. I focus on what I have, not on what I lack. Good stuff. Nice. All right. If we want to get in touch with you, Sindra, how do we do that? There's a lot going on with the book and the podcasts and appearances and all that stuff. You can head over to Dr. Sindra, D-R-C-I-N-D-R-A,

and that's where you can find the book information and anything else you need. All right. And these conversations we have on the radio also appear on the podcast, plus a lot of other great useful information and interviews. So check into those as well with Sindra Kampoff. Thank you very much. Thanks for having me. High Performance Mindset on The Country Club today with dr cindra kampoff on minnesota 93 thank you for listening to high

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