High Performance Mindset | Learn from World-Class Leaders, Consultants, Athletes & Coaches about Mindset - 243: How to Play to Win not to Lose

Episode Date: April 10, 2019

“When fear dies, you begin to live.” Stan Beecham   High performers play to win. They realize that fear of failure doesn’t help them in the long run. Instead, they listen to what they are fearing. Stay calm, present and go after what they want.   Power Phrase this Week: “I play to win. I stay calm, present, and go for it!”

Welcome to High Performance Mindset with Dr. Sindra Kampoff. Do you want to reach your full potential, live a life of passion, go after your dreams? Each week we bring you strategies and interviews to help you ignite your mindset. Let's bring on Syndra. It's time for High Performance Mindset today with Dr. Syndra Kampoff. Good morning, Syndra. Good morning. It's great to be here. Good to have you in. We've got some basketball action going on, whether it's the women last night wrapping up their ultimate season with a championship or the men tonight. We'll talk about that a little bit more with how to play to win,

not to lose. Let's start with that daily quote. All right. This quote is from Stan Beacham. He said, when fear dies, you begin to live. Nice. Okay. So let's talk about that. You have an example to start with. Let's go with that. So we've been watching a lot of basketball, the women's and the men's. And one example that really impressed me was Saturday night. We were watching Virginia and Auburn. And one guy really impressed me, and that's Virginia's Kyle Guy. And with.6 seconds, he drained three free throws.

And it's almost like he had a smile on his face. And I was watching really closely what was happening. And what I found out later is, last year after they lost in the tournament, he had all this anxiety and fear. And he worked with a sports psychologist afterwards. And you could tell because he had so much confidence, he was able to really handle the moment.

That's pretty cool. So then let's take that to the how to play to win, not to lose topic. What are we talking about today? So today we're talking about how fear of failure and what it is. And it's interesting because it can be a really short-term motivator, but not a long-term motivator. And in this case, if Kyle would have been feeling fear or anxiety,

he wouldn't have been calm and confident in the moment. And you can see, like even last year, how maybe he had the fear of failure, how that didn't help him in the long run. Okay. So I think about a lot of kids that are that didn't help him in the long run. Okay. So I think about a lot of kids that are like, oh, that team's really good. We're not going to beat them. We're going to have to play really hard. That's kind of that fear of failure thing.

Explain how that helps short term but not long term. Yeah. And today we're talking, you know, these examples are in sport, but it really applies to life and business as well. And so, like, for example, fear of failure can help you if you're, like, starting new job, and you want to make a mark. And so, you know, you keep pushing yourself at the beginning. But a study in Penn State done by David Conroy actually found that like fear of shame or embarrassment or fear of upsetting important people can again be a motivator in the short term, but not in the long term, and it can really lead to stress or burnout. How come that's the case?

Because when we're experiencing fear, we evaluate things as a threat. And our body just wants to survive, leading to anxiety in the long run. And that's when we're playing not to lose instead of really playing to win. So what do you think the take-home point would be? You know, if you fear or you're focused on the fear, I think the key is that we're going to focus on whatever we need to do to avoid the loss. We're going to play it safe in life and in business. And instead, we want to play to win when we aren't afraid of failing, even as the goal gets closer. And I think that's the key. All right. What's the final point today?

If you notice yourself feeling anxiety or fear, I think the key is to listen to it because we all have fears. But the key is, you know, to really pay attention and overcome that because then you'll be the happiest and highest performer that you can. Stay calm, present, go for it and play to win. I think about conversations we've had before where we're like, hey, Google, how many times Michael Jordan has failed? Absolutely. Right. And then don't be afraid of failure. You got to keep going after your dreams and get after it. And don't be afraid for those setbacks that will actually be learning experiences. How do you summarize today's topic?

So I'd say high performers play to win. They realize the fear of failure doesn't help them in the long run. And instead they listen to what they're fearing. Stay calm, present, and go for it. And what's our power phrase for this week? I play to win. I stay calm, present, and go for it. And what's our power phrase for this week? I play to win. I stay calm, present, and go for it. Nice. All right, get up, go for it. On a Monday, Dr.

Sindra Kampoff with us today. High Performance Mindset on The Country Club. Thank you so much. Thanks for having me. Yeah, good to have you in. We'll see you next Monday right here on Minnesota 93. Thank you for listening to High Performance Mindset. If you like today's podcast, make a comment, share it with a friend, and join the conversation on Twitter at Mentally Underscore Strong. For more inspiration and to receive Sindra's free weekly videos, check out DrSindra.com.