High Performance Mindset | Learn from World-Class Leaders, Consultants, Athletes & Coaches about Mindset - 266: Breaking Barriers & Living with Gratitude with Laura Okmin, FOX Sport Broadcaster.

Episode Date: July 28, 2019

For more than 25 years Laura Okmin has been covering the biggest names in sports on the biggest stages. But what Laura is most known for, and most proud of, is the connections she has cultivated over two decades of building relationships … not sources. You’ll find Laura on the sidelines for the NFL on FOX and Westwood One’s NFL national radio games. She’s covered more than 10 Super Bowls, hosted Olympic coverage from the London, Sochi and Pyeongchang Games, and reported from multiple World Series and NBA and NHL championships. Laura began her broadcasting career as a Sports Reporter/Anchor in Montgomery, AL, Chattanooga, TN and Sports Channel in Chicago, where she traveled with the Chicago Bulls during their championship run leading to an Emmy Award. Always passionate about her job, GALVANIZE gave Laura a purpose: Training and mentoring young women entering the sports world on – and more importantly – OFF camera. Its genesis was to give young women something Laura didn’t have growing up in this business … a network of other women.   In this podcast, Laura and Cindra talk about: The steps to build relationships not sources The empowering part about being a female in the sport reporting industry Her mental preparation to go live in front of millions How her deals with the ‘haters’ How she reframed her mother’s death

Welcome to High Performance Mindset with Dr. Sindra Kampoff. Do you want to reach your full potential, live a life of passion, go after your dreams? Each week we bring you strategies and interviews to help you ignite your mindset. Let's bring on Sindra. Welcome to the High Performance Mindset Podcast. This is your host, Dr. Sindra Kampoff, keynote speaker, author, and certified mental performance consultant. And I'm excited that you're here ready to listen to episode 266 with Laura Oakman. I've been following Laura's career for a long time, watching her on Twitter and social media and seeing from afar how her Galvanize program has developed. But I also watch

her when I go to NFL games and I see her on TV just like I'm sure you do during NFL games when you're watching Fox. I'm delighted to share this conversation with you, mostly because of the way and the spirit she shows up in this interview. You can tell she's incredibly grateful for her life and her career, but also very purposeful in living her passion each day. And so let me tell you a little bit about Laura and her career so far. So for more than 25 years, Laura Oakman has been covering the biggest names in sports on the biggest stages. But what Laura is most known for and most proud of is the connections she has cultivated over two years of building relationships, not sources. You'll find Laura on the sidelines for the NFL on Fox and Westwood One's NFL National Radio Games. She's covered more than 10 Super Bowls,

hosted Olympic coverage from the London and Sochi Games, and is reported from multiple World Series and NBA and NHL championships. As you'll hear in this interview, Laura began her broadcasting career as a sports reporter and anchor in Montgomery, Alabama, Chattanooga, Tennessee, and a sports channel in Chicago, where she traveled with the Chicago Bulls during their championship run, leading to an Emmy Award. So she's always passionate about her job, but she's particularly passionate about her program Galvanize, which gave her a purpose, training and mentoring young women entering the

sports world, and more importantly, on issues off-camera. Its genesis was to give women something Laura didn't have growing up in the business, a network with other women. And in this interview, Laura and I talk about how actually to build relationships, not sources, the most empowering part about being a female in the sports reporting industry, her mental preparation to go live in front of millions. We talk about how she deals with the haters and how she reframed her mother's death. You'll find this interview with Laura Oakman as vulnerable, personal, and I know you'll get a lot out of it in terms of strategies you can use to build your own career. My favorite part of this interview was something she said

twice. She said, make your heart your face. We'd love to hear from you. You can find Laura and I both on Twitter. I'm at mentally underscore strong and Laura is at Laura Oakman. Look forward to hearing from you. And without further ado, let's bring on Laura. Welcome to the High Performance Mindset Podcast today. I am pumped to talk to Laura Oakman. So Laura, thank you so much for joining me here today on the podcast. Oh, thank you so much for having me, Cyndra. I was so excited to be a part of this. Thank you.

Of course. Well, I am just looking forward to talking to you more about your career, you know, just your longevity of your career and your galvanized program and what you've done for women in sport. And so what I want to ask you first is just going to tell us a little bit about what you're passionate about and tell us what you've been doing right now. What I'm passionate about. I'm so happy to say if you would have asked me that question 10 years ago, 20 years ago, 25 years ago, I would have just said I'm passionate about sports and I'm passionate about my job. And I still am.

I'm still passionate about both. But I'm so passionate about my life right now. I'm so passionate about where my life has taken me. I'm so passionate about having a life and not just a part of a life and not just covering everybody else's life and telling other people's stories. But I'm most passionate right now about my story, which took a long time to get to that point. But I'm so in love with where I am. I'm so in love with getting older. I'm so in love with feeling more fulfilled than I ever have, more challenged than I ever have, having an incredible husband who is the love of my life and creating this incredible life that I think I

gave up on a long time ago and didn't think I'd get that part of the pie. I think I just always thought my pie would be the work part. So where I'm at is just in a wonderful, wonderful place of getting older and trying to figure out my purpose. And my purpose has been a whole lot bigger than just being a sports broadcaster. Yes, I'm hearing that. And I just following you for a long time, I can see that your work that you're really clear on your purpose. And I can hear so much like gratitude and inspiration in your voice right now. I love that. I love that because I feel that. And one of my favorite expressions in this world is make your heart your face. And I always hope I show that because I've never been more grateful in my life. I've never, after so many years of being told, the first part was, you don't belong

in this world. You don't know what you're talking about. Prove to me you know what you're talking about. We don't want you here. And then finally proving I belong and proving I do belong here. And then the next wave was, well, you better enjoy it because it's not going to last long. Because a woman after 40 aging on camera, you know, usually that doesn't happen too often. And so I'm really grateful. I'm really grateful that I didn't listen to all of those people in the first wave or the second wave and just really grateful to have turned this job into a career. But more importantly, I'm really grateful for adding a purpose to my

passion because I didn't have it for the longest time. Yeah. Okay. Sounds great. And, you know, I just think of like 25 years you've been covering, you know, some of the biggest names in the NFL. And I know you've gone to the Olympic games and covered World Series and NBA championships. So what do you think, well, maybe just for the listeners, tell us a little bit about, you know, how you got to where you are right now and what are some of the things along the way that you think were important in terms of your development?

Paying my dues was how I got here. And I work so much with young women now who, and this isn't a gender thing. This is young women and young men. It's just everybody, it just feels like everybody now is in such a hurry to get there. And, you know, and I really, truly understood even at a young age, I'm not in a hurry to get there because I'm not ready for there yet. And I really spent a lot of time, every small market I was in from Montgomery, Alabama to Chattanooga, Tennessee to Chicago, my hometown,

I very much knew I wasn't ready. And each place went, how do I get myself ready? And so my journey really is filled with all of those steps that it took to get to this point. A lot of times now, what happens in the sports broadcast, in sports broadcasting is all these young men and women, but mostly young women get thrown into these incredible opportunities way too soon. And I'm really, really thankful that I learned how to become not just a reporter, but I learned how to navigate this world before I got thrown into the NFL level or to the Olympic level.

I already knew who I was as a person. I'm glad it didn't happen to me in my 20s. I was not ready. I wouldn't have been able to navigate it. So I think how I got here was taking my time, even though at the end of the day I look at it and go, I was in Chicago year three of my career. So that wasn't very much time, but it was three really important years of my growth in every way as a pro and as a person. And really the biggest thing that I would say that I take from all of that is building relationships. That was the most important

thing to me as a young reporter at 22 and being in a business that, that was constantly saying, what do you know? And, and, and having to prove myself. So building relationships was really important. I took my time wanting to show people, I know what I'm talking about. I might be a reporter, which that tips the balance of a relationship. I need something from you. And that tips the balance of a relationship. I need something from you. And so I made sure at a young age not to reach out every time I needed something. I made sure to reach out at different times when I didn't need anything and wanted to make sure I knew about husbands and wives and children and wanting to make sure I knew these people as human beings, not just as coaches or not

just as players. And all of that I had to learn at a young age. And I like to think that's a big reason that helped with the longevity is I've taken my time building relationships and taking my time really building myself as a person and hopefully treating people well and taking those steps. I know that was a really long answer. I apologize for that. But I think it was just really understanding the longevity of the career I was building and not just going after a dream job, but going, how do I want to sustain this? How do I want to be looked at as a reporter, as a person? And the biggest thing was, I don't want to look at, I don't want to be looked at as somebody who just shows up, does her job and leaves after she gets something. I really wanted to make sure I built the

relationships to last. So I have a few follow-up questions to what you just said. So one of the things I just heard you say, Laura, is very similar to the field of sports psychology, you know, that people just want to get there and they don't take their time and develop their skills. So give us a little insight into how you became to understand who you are and, you know, how we might take that advice and apply it to our own lives. It's funny because it sounds like I had that at a young age that I knew who I was and I didn't. I really didn't at all. But I did know I had enough awareness or enough self-awareness to know I wasn't ready. I had enough self-awareness to go, how can I be better? But all that being said, I certainly didn't love myself. I certainly didn't respect myself. I certainly wasn't my

biggest fan and my biggest cheerleader. So I still understood I wanted to be a good person and, and I wanted to do it the right way, but that was just one step. And I think when I really, really started putting everything together was when I turned 40. And that was just a huge, huge period in my life. And there was a moment that I can picture so vividly of all the years that I've been traveling, you know, for over 25 years now and traveling so much in this job. But there was one airplane that I've been on that I thought it really was going down. We had a huge drop and people started screaming and crying and the masks come down. We had a huge drop and people started screaming and crying and the masks come down.

And I'm sitting there watching everybody cry and scream and go for their phones and pray. And I just sat there and I didn't feel anything. And I've told that story and people will always say, well, you didn't feel anything because you were at peace before you were. And I was like, no, I didn't feel anything because I didn't feel anything because you were at peace with where you were. And I was like, no, I didn't feel anything because I didn't feel anything. And then somebody will say,

well, because you've accomplished what you wanted to do. You checked off all your boxes. And my answer is no, it's just, I didn't feel anything. And when the plane, thank God, touched down, I made a vow right there and said, if I'm ever, God forbid, in a plane that goes down, I need to have a life that I care. And everything changed for me for that moment of really going, now, how do I live that life? I had a great job. But also at that time, I had no close friends. Everybody would have told you, Laura's a great friend. She listens to everything. If I have a problem, I call Laura because I was there for everybody but I didn't let anybody else in on anything that I was going through in in my life so the biggest thing that I did and the

biggest thing I try to do with all the young women I mentor because I don't want them to wait till they're 40 to have that realization is if especially in this business you give up so much of your life to cover other people's lives and I had spent you know 20 years at that point asking everybody else what have they overcome what adversity have you faced and and those were always my favorite questions and yet I had never ever asked myself and I had never, ever asked myself. And I had never done anything with my adversity. I just kind of, you know, I just hid. I just hid into work and I hid into other people's stories. So I finally said, I've got to figure out my story and what that means besides what

I do for a living. And so that's usually my biggest piece of advice when I talk to people, which is figuring out your story first. And I just, I don't believe in small talk. So if I'm at a party or if I'm in a room and I don't know anybody, which is my favorite room to go into, I don't waste time with what do you do for a living. And if I'm sitting next to someone on an airplane, I'm going to wind up having a great conversation and maybe making someone cry. And they kind know, they kind of get

trapped for a couple hours because that's where I want to sit down and get to know who people are. And the last thing I'll do is ask, what do you do? And that took me a long time to get there, where everything back then was defined by what you did for a living. Absolutely. And, you know, Laura, I had a similar experience where, you know, it was sort of like near death for me. I was at the Boston Marathon bombing. So I was finished the race. I was not at the finish line, but I was near the finish line. And that moment really changed my life. I think it woke me up to my purpose You know, when, you know, if you ask people, you know, what adversity have you overcome, tell us a little bit about the adversity that you've overcome, you know, to create the story and to create, like, who you are today. Well, I think mine really starts when I was early 20s,

about 22, when my mom passed away. And I think that, not I think, that that completely changed the trajectory of my life. I grew up extremely close with my mom, and, and really didn't have a lot of girlfriends, and was very, very career driven at a young age and had a mom who really was on me about that. You know, my mom was at home and raised three children, but I was raised very much of, you know, you don't need the man, you know, babies can wait, go out and get yourself a job, you know, go get yourself a career. And so I was raised that way. But when I, when my mom got sick and it was a very quick year, my mom was, you know, 50 years old and in incredible shape, and the healthiest person that most people knew. And when she got sick, I was in Montgomery, Alabama, and working on this job, and she wouldn't let me come home. One, she just didn't want me to stop my career that was just starting. And two,

I think that also would have showed her how serious it was all of a sudden to have me come home and take care of her, which she didn't want. And so when I lost her, it just, it changed everything. It went from being in a period of my life that was probably the most exciting time in terms of having a career that everyone told me I could never have and breaking a lot of ceilings, you know, or shattering a lot of ceilings and breaking a lot of barriers and becoming the first woman to do this or this. And I was going through that and covering Michael Jordan and the Bulls and these NBA championships and doing really all these exciting things. But at the end of the day, that's, it was the most exciting time, but it was the loneliest time of my life. And that probably took me up until that, that

epiphany at 40 to really start realizing how much of my life had been defined by my loss instead of what I was gaining. And instead of looking at all the gifts she gave me and these incredible lessons that she gave me, I was really honoring her and defining her just by that last year. And I knew how, I knew how upset that would have made her also because, because she gave me an incredible 22 years before that. So I think that was the biggest thing at a young age that I had to redefine and go, that was the most important moment of my young life that changed everything. But I had to learn to look at it a different way so I could grow from it instead of feel like I was stunted from it. Well, and what I'm hearing is some mental skills you're using, right? Like you had this moment of adversity, really big thing happened in your life, but you're

able to see the benefit. And tell us a little bit about the, so I'm just thinking about like the skill of reframing, right? That you changed your perspective on the difficulty. Tell us a little bit about some of the lessons that you learned from her. I love that question so much. So I will say this. So I remember the first time the year after she passed, or probably a couple months after, and I'm, and at this point, I'm in Chattanooga, Tennessee by myself, and having such a hard time and trying to navigate this world, being the only

woman doing sports and, you know, and just a world I wasn't ready for and mourning heavily. And I went to a therapist for the first time, which I had never done. And I remember, so at that point, in that time, there was, you know how there was a stigma then of you didn't tell people you were going to therapy. Yes. And so I went and I said immediately, you know, why I was there, which was my mom passing away and started talking and crying about my mom. And the first thing the therapist said to me was, have you ever thought that maybe you were too close to her? That maybe your mom didn't help you

with how close the two of you were in that bond. And I stopped crying immediately and just shut down and was like, I'm out. And that was it for therapy with me. I was so angry about that because, because I didn't feel like that. And, and it was such a, it was such a raw nerve at that time. And so I shied away from going to anybody and talking about my mom dying until after 40 when all of a sudden I started figuring out what my life was and went to see a therapist. And she said to me, can you make a list of all the good things that to say how my mom dying was a good thing. So she said exactly where you went, where she said, can we frame it better? Can you frame it in a way that you, that you'll feel more comfortable? And I said, okay, well, what I feel more comfortable saying is, can I think of all the ways my mom dying changed me?

And she said, I'm good with that. Do that. And so then I started making this list of how it did change me, which was I had to lean on myself more. I had to become stronger. I became more empathetic to people. I became a better friend. I became, just my empathy changed of anyone going through anything. And so I made this list and then she looked at the list and said, what do you see when you see the list? And it just hit me so hard, which, you know, with this feeling of everything that's good about me came out of my mom dying. And so that's, I still kind of struggle

with that because again, I don't think anything good came out of my mom dying. And yet I look at it and go, all of my, all of the attributes that I'm, that I'm probably most proud of, or that I think are my strongest all came from that moment. So I think I found, I think that's how I can frame it, which is nothing good came out of it. I wish she was here every day. I miss her still so much, but I can look and go what wonderful gifts she gave me in life and in death. Absolutely. And I think you're honoring her by doing that, right? Like saying that there's all of these skills and this is who I've become because of her. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I think that's exactly what you said. I don't know if there's a better gift than that.

I remember when I was struggling so hard with it, and my young brother called me one day, and he knew what a bad place I was in. And he just said, I just have to say something to you. And he was very quiet then. He didn't say anything. So I was shocked that he even wanted to talk about me and how I was handling things. And he said, she's already gone and you're killing her twice. She's already gone. But if she's watching you right now, which

we believe she is, it's killing her to see how you're choosing to honor her. And that was another, you know, a big epiphany of, oh, I do believe my mom's with me all the time. And I can't think of a worse way to honor her than to close off and to not enjoy life and not find a purpose and not find a passion because she was filled with both of those. So it's so hard to get there. But I think that once you do, it's such a great way of being able to honor somebody. And I know, Laura, I appreciate your vulnerability and the way that you're describing your journey because as people are listening,

I know that they can relate to a loss that they've had and maybe ways that they're honoring that loss or not. Tell us a little bit about, because when I think about like your legacy, right? And I know part of the legacy that you will leave and you're leaving right now as you go through your life is how you're empowering other women within sports broadcasting. And tell us about, you know, starting Galvanize and where that was in your journey. You know, was it after

you were 40? Was it right before? Tell us about that. It's funny because in another way where, like I said earlier, I just, I, I was a, I was a guy's girl and most women in sports will say that they are that usually growing up, you hang out more with the guys and the girls don't want to watch games with you. And, and so I just, I didn't have a close group of girlfriends and really didn't trust women and again, had my mom. So it's like I was covered. And so if you would have told me in my

20s or in my 30s, you know, that you were going to start a company for women, I would have been like, you are reading the wrong energy in the room. Like someone might be next to me that you're reading because it wouldn't be me. I didn't, everything really did start at 40 because if you would have asked me before then how I felt about other women coming up, I just would have said to you, I don't know. I haven't given it much thought. And not to feed into any stereotype like I was catty or I hated women or I didn't trust women for taking my job. It wasn't that at all. It was more of, I think when you're early on in that wave of becoming, of being the first or, you know, or, you know, there was a huge wave of women that opened the door for me, but I was still on the early wave.

So, you know, the second wave to help push, to help push the doors open. You're so busy focused on your, focusing on yourself and trying to prove that you belong. You're not looking to the left. You're not looking to the right. I'm not looking behind me to see what women are coming behind me that might be left behind. And I wasn't looking ahead to say, who has done this before that I can reach out to? I was just in my own cocoon, which every day was a fight to make it. And so I just, I never saw outside of that, outside of that bubble, because it was just about me, me, me and my, my fight and, and my path. And I guess what really started happening was I got to a point where I finally was really comfortable with, with who I was and, and where I finally was really comfortable with who I was and where I was. And all of a

sudden, I started seeing the shift in sports broadcasting, which was these young women getting these opportunities really, really early. And if it would have happened five years ago or five years before that or 10 years, I just would have been really resentful of the girls. Like, I already know that. I would have been like, oh, they need to pay their dues. And you know, what are they doing? But luckily it happened at not just an age, but a time in my life when I was doing the work, when I got really protective and when this isn't right, I was watching them get discarded. I was watching them get thrown into situations they weren't prepared for. They weren't ready for. I was having coaches telling me this and players telling me this. And I just was like, what can I do to help this? Because it's not

healthy. And it wasn't just crushing these young women's egos for a Sunday, it was crushing their egos, period. And people would give them these great opportunities. They would fail because they weren't ready. And then they would just go on to the next one. And I just kept thinking, well, what about that one who now, what was she going to do? So I just started saying, what can I do? And it certainly wasn't, I want to start a company or call it a name. It was just,

what can I do to help that when these young women get these opportunities, they'll at least be ready. And so I did a bootcamp probably about 10, 11 years ago, but it was before it was anything. It was just, how many women can we get in a room who are interested in this? And let's see how we can help. And it just grew from there. It went from taking three or four months to find, I think, 20 women was the first boot camp to be a part of it, to now every boot camp has a waiting list of about 20, 25 women. And so it's been incredible. And I think where I said to you earlier, you know, my mom said men can wait and babies can wait. I think

that also would have, my mom would have also been the first to go, oh, wait, no, I did want you to have babies because I didn't. Because my career was everything to me, was my baby. And so now I think how wonderful it is and how blessed and grateful I am that I don't have my own children, but I have over 1,200 young women that I consider my, you know, I have the pride of a mother. Every time I watch them succeed and every time I watch them just crush their adversity and their opportunities and empowering themselves and each other. So I've gotten so much out of Galvanize. It's been ridiculous how much I get out of it. Oh, that's outstanding. Well, and I think like you're coming from service, right?

Like you saw a need and you're like, how can I help? And you just let it evolve. You know, one of the things I love about Galvanize is your tagline. So I wanna ask you about that. Girls compete, women empower. And I thought about it more and I was like, wow, isn't that so true? Tell us a bit about what that means to you.

I think my favorite thing about Galvanize is people always think it's just for broadcasters and people who want to be on camera. And it's just, it's, that's the tiniest, tiniest part of Galvanize. And now we have so many women who want to be in production or in PR and community relations or, or in marketing or legal work. So it's, it's turned into just these incredible rooms of women. And I think the most important lesson for me that I had to learn from the first boot camp to, you know, now probably over 30 boot camps now, the first time I just put 20, 25 women in a room, and I was waiting for everybody to, to sign in. And so I'm just giving them a name tag,

they're signing in, and then they walk into the room. And I'm listening with one ear kind of to the room. And then my one ear is I'm signing people in and I'm listening to them all basically size each other up as they walked in the room. And you know, what sorority are you in? What experience do you have? Who do you know? And I just was sitting there going, oh no, no, I never even thought about this, but I had 25 minutes of downtime before we started. And I thought it's going to take me all day to undo this. And it did. It was having to really quickly go, how do I get a group of women to walk in a room and not ties each other up?

And you know this, Indra. It's just never about other women. It's about you're sizing yourself up. You know, how do you naturally? And so I had to learn that really quickly for my second boot camp, which was how do I get a room of women to walk in a room and instantly get them vulnerable, to instantly get them to trust each other and not compete with each other. And that took, you know, that takes exercises and it takes

a very planned day from the second that they walk in a room, you know, with a cup of coffee and their eyes are still kind of tired. And they walk in with an assignment where they're like, wait a minute, I'm being vulnerable right now. Like we haven't even started. Right. But the importance of making sure that every time that that every time they see, I'll say it this way. I'll always get asked about how do you you know, how do you kind of create that culture? And what I always say is when I was young, Laura, with women, I would wait to see what energy would come at me before I decided what to give. So are you a girl's girl? If you are, I'm going to OK, I would wait to see what energy would come at me before I decided what to give. So are you a girl's girl? If you are, I'm going to, okay, I'm going to watch that. Oh, I think you are. So I'm going to give this energy. But if I feel like you're kind of against me or you're competing with

me, I'm going to close off my energy. And so what changed was I don't wait for the energy. I give the energy now. So I make sure every Sunday when I'm on a football field, I, you know, for three hours before a game starts, I walk the field, I will make eye contact with every woman on the field, you know, and just good morning. And you know, how you doing, sister? And like, you look great. I haven't seen you in a while. You know, it just, I'm constantly making sure that, that every woman I meet knows I come in peace. And so that's probably one of the biggest things with Girls Compete Women Empower. I make these women make a vow before they leave the boot camp, which is don't leave the magic in this room. I know it feels like you'll never, ever again be in a room filled with this much love and support and empowerment from this group of women. But the beautiful thing is if there's 24 of you in this room, 24 of you are going into a different business or to a different school and you can create that culture. You can

bring that energy to women. And so that's probably where that came from, which is just how do you make sure as a woman that you are giving that energy and you're not, you're not, you're not feeding into all of those stereotypes and feeding into, you know, that women do compete and women can't get along and women can't support each other. Because I just know from all these years of not having women in my world to now having an incredible world of women, I, I, I'm so glad I found this way. I'm so glad I chose this way. I'm so glad I did the work to be here because I can't imagine my life without this incredible network of women now. Awesome.

And I'm just imagining you going up and down the field, you know, like connecting with all the women. I love that because I think that it just kind of shows some positive energy, right? And that you're not here to compete. You're really here to help each other. What a great message for other women. Tell us a little bit about how that might be different than how you interact with like men on the field. You know, it's funny. I would say it used to be very different and now it isn't different at all.

Yeah. Because now, so at this age, what I would tell you is there's something to being young in this business. And the first instinct is you don't belong and you don't know what you're talking about. And now what you face as a reporter is the first instinct is I don't trust you. Okay. And you know, and what do you want from me? And so I think that I come in peace, sister, kind of as I come in peace, brother. It's just making sure that I'm building relationships that when I go up to someone on the field,

that there's a smile on my face and that I'm instantly asking about who they are, not just what they're doing, not just about the game. And what I would tell you is that three hours before kickoff, those are my favorite conversations. That's usually, coaches would hate me saying this, but that's usually when we're talking about raising children. And I've had some of the most incredible conversations about pregame conversations, about interfaith marriage, and about raising children and the struggle of trying to give your child everything

that you didn't have growing up in a really tough way and wanting to give them everything you never had. But how do you instill the hunger that you had growing up? And those are the conversations I love so much. And that's what I try to make sure that I'm doing is when guys see me, players or coaches, they're not like, oh, what does she want? Or, hey, Laura, what do you need to know about the offense today? I always just want to make sure that they know of the 10 times that they see me, one time I might ask for something, but the other nine times I won't

ask for something. And that's probably one of the biggest things I try to preach to, to the young reporters or just to anybody, which is don't be the one that, you know, when, when somebody's phone rings and they look down and they see it's you, they, you know, someone rolls their eyes and goes, oh, what does she want? And I just knew I didn't want to be that. I had to learn that, but I knew, um knew after my lesson, I knew I didn't want to be that and worked really hard. So that's changed from young, young me who had to be a little more careful about the gender and you know, about don't be flirty and make sure that you know, you are all business and make sure that you're not asking personal questions. So I, I went through that for a long time. But at this stage, it's more to me about making sure that they know that I'm trying to build

a relationship and not build a source or a contact. Yeah, that's what I heard. And just what you just described is like you're building the relationships. And you're asking, you're just having these conversations off record, right? Just to build the rapport and to understand the people. And even earlier said about, you know, that you might text them or reach out to them when you don't need something. That's the biggest thing. And so my lesson was when I was a very young reporter and I got to

know Charles Barkley when I was in Alabama and Charles was from Alabama. And this is when he was still playing. This is Charles in his heyday. And I called him for something and he answered the phone and said, well, well, well, Laura Oakman, what do you need? And I was like, Oh, like Charles, can a girl just call and say hello? And he said, a girl can, you just never do. And he's like, I'm not trying to make you feel bad. I just know when you call, you need something. What do you need? And I felt horrible because up until that moment, I wouldn't have called for no reason because I didn't, you know, I don't want to look like, you know, I have an agenda or why is she calling? So what I did was just went, well, I wouldn't call to just say you had a great game or, you know, I wanted to be so professional. So I had to really rethink that and go, oh, I don't want to be that. So that's,

that's what completely changed me, which was making sure I'm reaching out when I don't have a question. You know, after Sundays, that's when the second part of my day starts. I finish a game and I get in the car to go to the airport. And before my flight, I'll spend the next two hours looking at every final score. And I will text every player and coach and GM, you know, that I'm an assistant coach that I'm friends with, or I have a relationship with and start the congratulations on the win. I'm so sorry about the loss. So sorry about the injury, you know, just wanted to send you healing thoughts. I'm constantly every week, I have one day a week that I do this on Tuesdays where I reach out to everybody, but I don't ask questions. I don't want to make them feel like they have to respond. And

usually what happens is they do, but I just always want to make sure that, that throughout the season, even if I don't get a certain team, that I haven't just fallen away to the wayside. And, and that takes work. Building relationships is a job. To me, it's always been the most important part of my job. But I always say that when people ask about building relationships, how seriously do you take that? I literally have Tuesday as my relationship day. And that's all I do at home is making sure I'm reaching out to people with no agenda. Yes. I think that's so important in every profession. And I'm thinking about my profession as well as I'm reaching out to people with no agenda. Yes, I think that's so important in every profession. And I'm thinking about my profession as well as I'm listening to you.

And one thing, you know, how you said that, you know, as you have gotten older within sports broadcasting, you know, maybe at first you were seen, or maybe you could have been perceived as flirty. But now, you know, maybe that's not the case. I feel that way in sports psychology as well and doing mental training in the NFL. When I first started, it was like, okay, what, what is your agenda? And so I had to talk a lot about my husband and my two boys, you know, like, I, hey,

I'm happy there's, I'm, I'm here to, you know, be a professional. You know, what advice would you give to somebody, let's say, who's just starting off related to that and building relationships, but not being seen flirty, you know, maybe when they're 20 or when they're 30 or when they're 40. And then, you know, maybe how that's changed a little bit for you. It's hard, isn't it? It's hard, yeah. That's probably one of the biggest things we talk about at Galvanize. You know, again, it's not about just how do you get good on camera, it's how do you navigate that? And that's if it's a room of women in sports or fill in the blank of women in any male dominated industry, but that's pretty much every industry. So I find the more rooms

I'm in with women outside of sports where we all speak the same language. And that's the most challenging part is figuring that out. And, and what I would say is exactly what you do is, it was one of the most important things is, is saying I'm married is talking about my kids, but when you're twenties and, and most of, you know, most, most times you're not, you don't have kids. And if you don't have a husband or you don't have a partner or I, I think what I really learned was making sure I was constantly asking about theirs. Making sure that I was always finding out, you know, the first thing

I would Google knowing your conversation was happening was wife, girlfriend, children, and making sure that I had something to let them know immediately I'm asking about a personal life. I think what I did when I was so unhappy was I never shared anything about my life. So everything was open. And so I went through a really, really hard divorce when I was younger. And when I started going through it, I was talking about it because that was part of my growth. And that was part of my, okay, I haven't shared anything. But when people are asking, what are you going through? I started opening up and everybody I had great relationships with at work was stunned because they were like, one, either didn't know I was

married or two, just was like, I didn't know you weren't happy in your marriage because I never shared anything. And so I looked at it as, well, yeah, but I'm not making it personal. So that's a good thing. And kind of, it did the opposite where there was sort of always an opening with me because I, I, you know, I never shared anything. And so I just always look at it now is making sure that, um, that the relationships, as soon as you talk about relationships outside or children or anything where you establish that, it just enables you to take a breath and now get to know somebody once that's off the table. And what I tell my 20 somethings is all the time, you know, because they'll say, well,

how'd you deal with that then? And I'm like, well, please understand this. I still do. Like ladies, just so you know, we still get hit on it after 29. And so, you know, just know this, like, it doesn't stop, but you learn how to navigate it at different stages. And so I think it's also just being so mindful of not worrying about a minefield, but going in with the intention and making sure that you are talking about, you know, talking about their relationship, your relationship, and not feeling like you, that you're so nervous about, you know, having a conversation, because you don't want to put the wrong thing out there, but yes, you know, and all of that, it's, we talk about all of that, you know, galvanize, which is just everything from

how do you feel about yourself, to what are you putting out there? And that can be not just what you're wearing, which is the easy thing. But again, what's, you know, how do you look? Make your heart your face. You know, what is your intention? And when you know that and when you have that confidence, it just changes how everybody looks at you. And I think that's one of the biggest things we work on. That day one with Galvanized Boot Camps, it's just a group of women in a room for,

you know, 15 hours. And then day two, we go to NFL teams and we partner up with all the rookies. And so we have to walk into a room where all these rookies don't know we're coming in. So they literally walk into a room and there's 25 women standing there and go, what is this? What are we doing? If we were all standing there looking nervous or giggling or, you know, and what we're wearing and all of that, it would change the way they walk in. But when they walk in and we've already talked about how are we standing? How are we looking? What small talk are we making? We literally prepare our small talk and learn how to be able to have a comfortable conversation with somebody and take

the lead versus just standing there awkwardly feeling like you know that you don't know what to say so I say all of that to say it takes work and that's why Galvin and I started which was I would have killed for those lessons at 22 I would have killed for them and made a lot of mistakes because I didn't know them so that's what'm probably, that's what makes me so happy is seeing a room full of confident young women after 15 hours who feel great about themselves and feel great about each other as we step into a day two with so many unknowns once you throw all the young men in there. Yes. And, you know, I think, Laura, as I'm listening to you, I'm thinking about, you know, how, you know, for me working in the NFL, there's a lot of benefits of being a female.

And then there's some really difficult things. So yeah, I'd love to ask you about both of those, just your experience. And what do you think has been, throughout your journey, kind of been the most empowering part about being a female in sports broadcasting? I think for so long, I hid everything that makes us so good as women, that I never wanted to look like, I always wanted to make sure I was talking X's and O's. I wanted to always make sure I wasn't having these deep, meaningful conversations, because that's what a girl does. I'm talking football. I'm talking basketball. And I think what wound up happening was eventually when I stopped thinking about myself

as a woman and started just thinking of myself as a broadcaster, as a journalist, as a storyteller. That's when all my qualities came out where I can sit and talk X's and O's all day, but that's not my passion anymore. I love football, but what I love about my job are the conversations I have away from the field. I love to show who people really are.

I love to build that trust. I love to build trust with somebody and they tell you something, you know this more than anyone, that they've never said out loud. And the young me, it didn't think that mattered unless they shared it on camera. And now the older me understands I don't care if it ever gets on camera. The privilege is the trust. And so I think the great thing about being a woman in this business is we built – I remember being a young reporter and covering the Bulls,

and there weren't many women in the locker room, or, you know, maybe a couple of us at the time. And there was one gentleman that used to follow me around. And every time I would get a one-on-one, which was so hard in those days, you know, one-on-one with Michael Jordan, or with Scottie Pippen, or whoever, he would wait for these opportunities. Every time I'd get one, boom, his microphone would come in, boom, his microphone would come in. And finally, one day I walked out of the locker room with him and I was like, what's your deal? You know, every time I finally get somebody, there you are. And he said, I'm so sorry. He said, there's not many of you, but what I try to find in every locker room I go into is if there's a woman who knows her stuff, I try to

make sure I get in there because you get answers that are different. And he said, you just phrase things a little differently. And he said, and sometimes I don't know if you even do, but they just, they react a little differently. And so what I have found all these years now, you know, training these young men and working with them, they will all say the same thing, which is, I just don't feel as judged by women. And so all that stuff I would have hid early on because I wasn't trying to build trust. I just wanted to get an interview. And I just wanted to show I knew X's and O's. My questions were longer than the answers because I needed you to know I understood what I was talking about. And then finally, when I understood the incredible value of being a woman in this business, once you do that dance that you, you know, that we're talking about of figuring out, you know, what, what agendas are and, you know, what, what reason are you here?

Once they figure out that you're a professional, the wall comes down quicker. I find that we just get deeper. We get these, not in grossly stereotyping, because there's some incredible men who get the same thing that women do, but as a whole, that we get to build trust a little bit quicker, that they don't feel as much judged with us. So we sometimes get a little different insight. And I've loved being able to do that.

As long of a list as I could make when I was younger about what's hard about being a woman, my list now about being a woman in sports is longer when it comes to the benefits. So what I would say now to what is hard about it, because I don't think about it that way anymore, but what I would say is this. I don't think about it for myself anymore because I still know what's hard about being a woman in this business. And especially for these young women. And so the hardest thing is to me is for them to grow up in this business or in any business in a time of social media when everybody's telling you still you don't know what you're

talking about and you don't belong. And that used to be a couple people would yell something at you. But now that's literally on your phone every day. People telling you you're not that pretty. People telling you you don't know what you're talking about. That was a horrible interview. You know, like literally social media, that voice can be so negative. And to me, the biggest challenge right now for young women is how do you not let that get into your head? How do you make sure that you're tuning that out and you're telling yourself how great you are and, and you'll get better and making sure that you know, um, how good you are and that you belong. And they still hear the same

things I did or you did. Um, that hasn't changed. It's the, it's that same sexism in sports or in male dominated industries, but it's just so much louder now with, with social media. So I think they have it much harder this generation trying to tune that out and trying to build the confidence in themselves that they belong in an industry where a lot of people say you don't. And so when you open up your phone or Twitter or wherever you're looking on social media and you get some of that, I mean, think of, you know, you've been in this 25 years, so much experience. How do you deal with that? I don't look on Sundays. I find that Sundays is a different kind of crowd.

It's a different voice. And usually it's, you know, depending on if your team won or lost and, and people thinking that you, you root for a team or against the team. And so there's, there's just days where I feel like, gosh, I can walk away from a game and go, all right, I did my job today. I feel really good about how I helped my team about what I did on camera and off camera, but then open up Twitter and, you know, you've been standing in the rain for six hours and you're going to, all you're going to see is you look horrible, you know, like where's your umbrella,

which you're not allowed to have on the field and, you know, have some respect, you know, like you start reading that. So what I would say is I just choose not to on Sundays. And I'd like to either walk away from a game, either knowing I from a game, either knowing I had a really good game or knowing I had a bad game. And just being able to sit with my own voice with that. Monday, it seems to change a little bit where you get back to a normal flow.

So I would say the way I try to do it is just not pay attention to it. And that's not always easy. I don't care how old we get and how long we're in it. It's, it never feels good having people tell you that you, that you're not good or, you know, or, or, you know, you're, you look like this or you don't look like this. So that, that certainly is never going to feel good. But I think I'm better at understanding, I'm better at understanding what my value is and who I am. And I can very quickly hang up and say to my husband, somebody's telling me I look so awful and know that my husband's going to say you're the most beautiful woman in the world. And that's really, at the end of the day, the only voice I care about. Yeah, for sure. So that's probably it. I think when I was younger,

I cared more about voices I didn't know. And now I care about my number one and the people who love me. And at the end of the day, nothing else matters. And that from a woman who didn't love herself and really didn't have anyone who I allowed to love me for a really long time. So I'm grateful to have those voices. And I think it's so interesting that the comments that you're talking about on social media are appearance related more, right? And where, you know, people aren't posting about the male reporters and their appearance, you know, so it's just, it's interesting

this kind of standard that we hold. Yeah, and I'm going to name drop because it's my favorite name drop in the world, but my best friend for over 20 years was Stuart Scott from ESPN. And I'm going to name drop because it's my favorite name drop in the world. But my best friend for over 20 years was Stuart Scott from ESPN. And I remember this was before, it must have been, it was before the internet. But I remember once Stuart showed me a drawer and he was so much racism, you know, that there was so much horrible, horrible stuff. And he kept everything and he would read them to me and I'd get so upset and be like, please let me throw these out. Like, you should never look at these. But it was really important for him to keep that. And it was, and he'd make a joke about it.

Like, if anything ever happens to me, I want you to, you know, you know where this drawer is. And, and he kind of be funny about it. And I just was like, I don't understand it. And, and I, and I, but for whatever reason, he just always felt that that stuff was really important for him to always know that there's people out there who felt like that. And, you know, the, I wish I could ask him, you know, a million things I wish I could ask him about now. But that would be one of those where I'm wondering if he would have changed that as he got older. Because I just sit and I go, I can't even imagine opening up Twitter and saving horrible posts, you know, when people call you the C word.

Or, you know, just like really horrible things where you're just so confused by it. So men get it. And especially minority men get it. But it's amazing to me which people feed off of it and which people that fuels and which people who are like, I want no part of this. And I don't know many women who feed off of it, really. Do you? No, I don't. And that's what I was thinking about is some of the, you know, men that I work with who are pro athletes, they do feed off it and

they almost use it as motivation. You know, that, you know, like I want to prove to you that I can do it regardless, you know, like sort of like as this way of fueling myself. So maybe Stuart did it in that way. Yeah. You know, Laura, that's one of the questions that I wanted to ask you in this interview is, you know, I think about all the people that you're able to cover and the amazing people that you've met and worked with. You just think you've had incredible opportunity to work with some of the world's best athletes and coaches and, you know, reporters. what do you think separates them from others from a mental standpoint? Like, what do they talk to you about when you really think about

most elite, you know, like, give us a little insight on what your perspective is there. I think my answer would totally change from 25 years ago to now, where in the beginning, I was around, I was privileged to be around some of the best athletes, not just of that time, but of all time, you know, covering Michael Jordan and, and Charles Barkley and the dream team and Cal Ripken and, and, and some incredible players and coaches. And back then I would have talked about something just about that incredible drive and that relentless relentlessness and that focus, but it's just, I have such a different answer now being around, being around today's generation of, of incredible players and coaches and, and of all sports and, and, you know, every two years with

the Olympians. And what I would say now is something about understanding, kind of doing a full circle with our conversation, that there's a purpose behind the passion. Where back then it was just, I have to do this. You know, I have to do this because it's all I can do. And, you know, this is what I was meant to do. And there's something so different now about the ones who are so good now understanding there's a bigger picture. Okay. And, and, and to me, it's about knowing who they are as it gets into your world. It's just the ones who accomplish so much, but also, but it also connects to who they

are as a person, not just what they do. And I don't know if it's because we've changed or if athletes and coaches, you know, if people have changed or if it's just, I've changed in terms of what I view successful now, because I look at who you are as a person, not just who you are as an athlete. So I don't know if it's my definition or if I feel like, if I feel like success has changed or the definition of, but, but, but now it's the ones to me who have the perspective, have the perspective on when it comes to sports and when it comes to life. And would you say that their purpose is stronger? At least you're hearing

sort of like maybe the reasons why they participate or their, you know, maybe their platform, they see a purpose, their purpose differently with their platform. Tell us a bit about, you know, when you said, you know, their understanding there's a purpose behind the passion. My favorite conversations are just really finding out what truly does drive you, what your why is. And I know that's kind of the question everybody asks these days, especially coaches, what's your why? And when you really find out why they're competing, why they're coaching, you know, why it is the way that they are, like everything. It's just, that's when, when, when heart joins the talent and it's not just your body, that's incredible. It's not just, you know, that it's what you can do, but all of a sudden the reason why you're doing it. And to me, when that all lines up, that's when that's,

you know, it's, it's when, it's when everything's pretty incredible. It's why Tom Brady, you know, seems to rise to every occasion, you know, every time we want to count him out. And I don't think it's just because he's the most, you know, he's, he's the most talented quarterback out there. I think there's a whole, there's, you know, three other layers deep to that, or it goes three extra layers down to, to why he's to why he still works the way he does. And that's for Drew Brees. I mean, every year I get so excited to do Saints games because I can't wait to see the work that Drew has done on every offseason to be better. And I think that's probably what I appreciate now more than ever is just the ones that are truly special are the ones who've

overcome more, the ones who are figuring out how to over, what to overcome or how to overcome. And I just find that that to me is, that to me is always when you have those special seasons, there's just always a team every year where I'm like, Oh, something feels really good about this team. And it's not just because you're watching them at practice and you're like, yeah, they just are really incredible and they're all talented. Because, you know, 32 teams are. But there's usually a team that just sort of, that something feels really special, that they've gone through something together or one person has,

and they all rally together if it's a coach or if it's a player. And it's just, there's something that's a different connect to me these days about watching how a team really comes together. And when you see someone like Drew Brees, right, and the work that he's done on the off season, my guess is maybe that's not necessarily the X's and the O's about football, or maybe even the weight training. It's like this special sauce we're talking about, right?

Like maybe it's this mindset or mental training, or maybe it's better understanding who you are. You know, like when you're looking for the work that he did, is it, is it, what kind of work are you looking for? What kind of work do you see? I always ask about the buckets, you know, because there is, there's the physical, there's the mental, there's the emotional, you know, what have you, what have you worked on? And what I find is young quarterbacks don't interest me that much. You know, what have you, what have you worked on? And what I find is young quarterbacks don't interest me that much. You know, it's just, they're very talented at what they do, but their heads so into the, what they're doing that that's what they're focusing on and that's what they

should be. You know, that their off season is spent on on getting better and learning the X's and O's and working out with your receivers and getting your timing down and learning how to climb the pocket better. And, and they're in, they're focusing on the fundamentals, but year three is always when I love getting a quarterback after that off season, because the first two years you're just, your head is down. But year three is when they start feeling comfortable with their feet, start knowing where to be, you know, be where your feet are. They kind of get that more. They know what they're seeing.

They're not just reacting. Now they know, you know, now that they're able to do things. And that's usually when the, when more of the mental, emotional stuff comes in. And so I always love year three guys, but that being said, I'll be really excited to see Patrick Mahomes this year because he's a little different. And, and he just feel, I, I interviewed him at the Pro Bowl and asked him, you know, what's the, what's the one thing now that you finally get some downtime after this whirlwind year? And it's been so incredible. And what's the one thing that you're looking forward to doing right now? And he, and his answer was getting better. And it's just, he, you know, it wasn't downtime. It wasn't, you know, I'm going to go take that vacation. It was,

I got to go get better. And so I think there's something wonderful about getting a Drew or it used to be Peyton or Tom, because they don't spend their off season, you know, not just, you know, not doing anything, but they also don't need to spend all that time on the fundamentals anymore. So it's always so fascinating to hear what they're doing, especially as you get older, because you're not going to get faster and you're not probably going to get stronger. But what your arm strength may not get stronger, but they're going to find other things to figure out that make them better at this time. And that's always the fascinating stuff and fun stuff.

And when you see someone like Tom Brady, do you see him really, you know, you said he's like connected from the heart, maybe not the head. Tell us what you see someone like Tom Brady, do you see him really, you know, you said he's like connected from the heart, maybe not the head. Tell us what you see, you know, what is your perspective on maybe how he shows up or builds relationships or we don't have to talk about specifically about Tom Brady. The best. The best it's, it's, again, it goes to all of a sudden year three on. They also, that's when you start getting the players saying,

I took my offensive lineman out or the quarterback saying, I took my offensive lineman out. I, you know, I, I, you know, flew my receivers in and everybody talks about how they worked out, but it's really what you want to talk about are the dinners and about, you know, about what they did as men. And, and I think that's just tremendous leaders, period. What you start finding also is, Matt Ryan, I remember, I think it was his year three. That's what he said, where his whole, how Dan Quinn challenged him was be a better leader. Don't just, you know, yes, you're the first one here. Yes, you're the last one to leave.

But now, instead of sitting and having lunch with your teammates, Matt's running and studying. Matt's in the film room. And that's what he should be doing as a young quarterback. But his coach kind of slowed him down and said, I challenge you now to go sit at tables of teammates you don't know. Sit with the defensive guys. Make sure you're getting to know everyone. And Matt spent that whole training camp really working on that, of connecting with everybody, of making sure he was getting to know everyone on a deeper level. And instead of rushing to the training table, instead of rushing to the film room, he understood that that growth as a leader and as a person was equally as important. And so that to me, and I know those are the conversations you have, but that's the most

interesting stuff is to see where talent has gotten to them,. Yeah. All of these players, you know, to where they are now. And they're also talented, but it's the ones who start evolving and growing in all those different ways that, that, that I love having those conversations with because it's, it's not all of them, but it's the ones who really, really build that longevity and the ones who you use that cliche where teammates would run

through a wall for you, it's because of all the work they do besides the X's and O's. Yes. And it's not just like this physical part that you see, right? Of saying the X and O's and being really strong or fast, but it's like this mental and emotional component. So Laura, there's one question I wanted to ask you as we wrap up our time together is when I think about, you know, mental training and even using your mindset to be the best reporter that you can be. Can you tell us a little bit about, you know, maybe what you do to go live in front of millions of people? Like, is there anything that you do to mentally prepare or get in the space of, you know, confidence or anything that you do to be at your best mentally? Yes. Okay. First of all, it's all about my preparation. My confidence comes from being prepared. So I don't just focus on, I'm not just worrying about how do I feel on Sunday,

three, two, one, go in front of millions of people. I've been working, you know, on Monday through Sunday to make sure that I'm prepared. So I feel, I feel so confident. I know what I'm saying. I know all the work that I've done. And that, that puts me in my favorite confidence place. But then when it comes to actually being on camera, it's still like, it's, I always tell my young women this, even after doing this so's, I always tell my young women this, even after doing this so long, I still get butterflies because at the end of the day, I can still screw up in front of millions of people. And, and that's very, you know, like that will keep you up at night if you let it, you know, that it doesn't matter if I've been doing

this for a very long time. If I say something wrong on Sunday, I will lose all credibility in one second. And so, you know, like all of that can put a lot of fear in you. So what I really do to get myself in a great space is before I go on, I make sure that I'm not thinking about how things can go wrong. I'm not thinking about how I can screw up. I'm already imagining crushing it. I'm already imagining how I feel afterwards when I just kind of, you know, quietly go, yes, nailed it. So I'm already imagining crushing it. I'm already imagining how I feel afterwards when I just kind of, you know, quietly go, yes, nailed it. So I'm always putting myself in that frame of mind, which is you're going to crush this. And so that goes back to everything we were saying, which is just reframing your voice because the young me was always, you could look really stupid

right now. Like, oh, you're going to screw this up or I hope you don't screw this up. I just would never, ever get in my head like that anymore. So I'm just so focused on making sure that I'm in a great place, that I feel great about myself. I'm supporting myself. And I just don't get in my head. If my photographer, who is my partner on the field,

that's, you know, who I hang with, you know, I see him the whole game. I make sure, or my producer in my ear, I make sure I'm talking to them up until five seconds before I'm on or three seconds because I want to be having fun. So we're encouraging each other. We're laughing about something stupid. So that way I'm not just standing there in my head going, oh, God, oh, God, oh, God, I'm about to be on. I'm making sure I'm myself. I'm making sure that I'm having a great time.

I'm at a football game. I love what I'm doing. And you're on go. And so that's something I try to work on a lot with my young women, which, you know, not to get into that place of, oh, no, oh, no, things could go bad. But, you know, I want to look at you and I want to be like, oh, my gosh, whatever you're thinking, I want some of that because you look like you feel great. And so that's probably how I'm always trying to feel.

I love that. And I love that that's intentional and you're working not to get in your head because you're right. That can be, I heard someone say once that like when you're in your head, you're dead. And I thought that was funny, right? So maybe not like literally dead, but yeah, you know, you could freeze or whatever. So yeah, it sounds like you're more in your heart and really coming from a place of like that you're loving what you're doing and having fun.

And you can see that when we watch. I love that. And I love that saying more be in your heart, not in your head. I love that. It really is. It's another thing that takes work, but that literally did happen to me before I thought what I was doing, where I would sometimes right before on camera, I would take a step to the side and I would imagine myself crushing it. And I would like

have all these great positive thoughts. And one time a person literally walked in front of me and said, I don't mean to interrupt. I don't know what you're thinking about, but whatever you are, way to go. And I realized at that moment, my face changes when I make myself feel good. And so literally someone saw me go through the change. And so that's when I realized how powerful it was that it's not just how you feel. It's just everything about you when you feel good, everything about you when you feel like you're at your best, like it's contagious and people see that and people, you know, hopefully are attracted to that. So that's not just if you're going on TV or if you're about to do something stressful at work. That's if you're walking to a room of people you don't know, you know, and how am I walking in? I want to put myself in that place

where somebody goes, oh, like I don't know anything about her, but she just looks like she'd be great to talk to. Like that's always to me where you're trying, where you're trying to go. And I love what you said. That means you're in your heart and not your head. Awesome. Well, Laura, I want to honor you for everything that you've done for women, women in sports broadcasting and how you've paved the way. But, but also, you know, I just think being on TV, you're showing other women around the world that they can do anything that they put their mind to and that, you know, any space and industry is open to them. So I am grateful, incredibly grateful for the last hour, just like you being vulnerable and sharing your soul. And I just want to thank you so much for your time and your energy and the legacy that you're

leaving for others. Did you want to make me cry on air or were you hoping to do that privately at a different time? I can't tell you how much I appreciate you, how much I appreciate what you're doing for all of these incredible men with the Minnesota Vikings. And I have a feeling it touches a lot more than that. But all the work you're doing and just having these conversations and allowing me and everybody else to be vulnerable and to be getting to know us as people and not just what we do.

So I can't thank you enough for what you're doing, what you're doing with your platform in your life. So thank you, Cinder. Thanks for having me. Of course. And here I'm going to summarize some things that I took from today as a way kind of to summarize to the listeners as well and to recap what we talked about. There are so many notes that I wrote down as we were talking,

but you said at the beginning, you said like, make your heart your face. Is that right? Like make your, so just I think one of the themes today was just about like how you show up in your presence and also like what you can do mentally to prepare to do that. And your, how even the way that you do that before you go live is outstanding. Yeah. I heard a lot about loving yourself first. And I think that helps you love others and, you know, other women in this space and leading other women. And like knowing yourself helps you love others and, you know, other women in this space and leading other women. And like knowing yourself was a big theme, like knowing who you are and

what you stand for. I appreciated your story about your mom and how impactful that was, but also how you were able to reframe that and how you took so many attributes from her. And just the way that you talked about how the best really have this purpose behind their passion. And it's really clear how they do that. And then the last thing that I took from today was about like the haters that you might have on Twitter or other places. And I think sometimes that can hold people back from even, you know, taking that job or taking that job as a sports reporter or getting on Twitter or, you know, sometimes in my space, it's like, well, I don't want to post this video about mental training because what will people say?

You know, so I like that you said about like, who are the voices that you're listening to? And you're listening to the ones that matter most to you, like your husband and your, for your friends. So thank you so much for your time and your energy today, Laura. Thank you. Thank you for having me. Thank you for your energy. Thank you for listening to High Performance Mindset. If you liked today's podcast, make a comment,

share it with a friend, and join the conversation on Twitter at Mentally Underscore Strong. For more inspiration and to receive Sindra's free weekly videos, check out DrSindra.com.