High Performance Mindset | Learn from World-Class Leaders, Consultants, Athletes & Coaches about Mindset - 273: Are You Willing to Fall in Love with Fear? With Bestselling Author & Certified Mindset Coach, Tracy Litt

Episode Date: September 1, 2019

If Brene Brown and Tony Robbins had a baby, that baby would be Tracy Litt. She’s direct, and goes straight to the heart of what’s real and what’s true. She masterfully tells it like it is, while being skillfully empathetic, loving and supportive. A powerhouse and ball of energy, exuding unconditional love and light. Silly and playful. She calls your bullshit and wakes you up in a way you never realized you needed.   Tracy is a certified mindset coach, best selling author of Worthy Human, rapid transformational therapist, and awe-inspiring speaker. She is the founder of The Litt Factor, a personal growth and coaching company, and Worthy Human, an inspirational and empowering merchandise line.   Tracy exists to remind you of your potential, teach you the power of your mind, and support you in cultivating a phenomenal relationship with yourself. It is through this unwavering belief in yourself, tremendous self-love and inner power that you can feel, create, and be anything and everything you desire.  In this podcast, Tracy and Cindra talk about: 8 powerful questions you should ask yourself What it means to run your mind, not let your mind run you 6 life suckers and what to do about them Why falling in love with yourself is where it starts And over 5 powerful exercises to tap into your unlimited potential You can find a full description of the Podcast at cindrakamphoff.com/tracy.   You can find Tracy at https://www.thelittfactor.com/ and on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/thelittfactor/.   

Welcome to High Performance Mindset with Dr. Sindra Kampoff. Do you want to reach your full potential, live a life of passion, go after your dreams? Each week we bring you strategies and interviews to help you ignite your mindset. Let's bring on Sindra. Welcome to the High Performance Mindset Podcast. This is your host, Dr. Sindra Kampoff, and thank you so much for joining me here today for episode 273 with certified mindset coach Tracy Litt. Now, if you know that mindset is essential to your success, then this is the podcast for you.

We explore everything related to mindset each week on the podcast, typically with two episodes, one where I'm delivering about a five-minute message on the local radio here where I talk about a topic of mindset that I've been thinking about that week, and then I interview someone related to mindset. And I really thoroughly enjoyed this interview with Tracy Litt. You know, if Brene Brown and Tony Robbins had a baby, I think that baby would be Tracy Litt. And I think you're going to be able to tell that because she's direct.

But she also goes straight to the heart of what's real and what's true. And she masterfully tells it like it is while being empathetic, loving, and supportive. She calls you on your BS, but also wakes you up in a way that you never realized you needed. So Tracy is a certified mindset coach, the best-selling author of Worthy Human, the book, and a rapid transformational therapist. She's the founder of The Lift Factor, a personal growth and coaching company, and Worthy Human, an inspirational and empowering merchandise line. She's the founder of The Lift Factor, a personal growth and coaching company, and Word of the Human, an inspirational and empowering merchandise line.

So she exists to remind you of your potential and teach you the power of your mind, as well as to support you in cultivating a phenomenal relationship with yourself. Tracy talks about how this unwavering belief in yourself, this tremendous self-love, and this inner power that you feel, create, and be can allow you to be anything and everything you desire. So in this podcast, Tracy and I talk about some powerful principles from her book, Worthy Human, because you are the problem and the solution. We talk about eight powerful questions that you should ask yourself. We talk about what it means to run your mind and not let your mind run you, as well as

six life sucks and what to do about them. Tracy and I also talk about why falling in love with yourself is where it starts. And she describes over five powerful exercises that you can use to tap into your unlimited potential. Now my favorite part about this interview, as well as her book, and I read her book over the last week, again, Worthy Human. I love how her book really dives into these powerful principles and powerful questions, but also gives you these work it areas where you can definitely do the work. And so you'll find today's interview not only inspiring, thought-provoking, really helps you tap into what your unlimited potential is,

but I also know that you're going to love these exercises that Tracy provides. Tracy has provided a ton of value in this podcast. So without further ado, let's bring on Tracy. Welcome to the High Performance Mindset. I am excited today to welcome Tracy Litt. So Tracy, thank you so much for being on the podcast today. I'm so excited. We're going to have a great time. We are. And I'm really looking forward to talking about your book, Worthy Human, and these seven powerful questions that are in your book. I loved the structure of the book and really the content and I thought it

was incredibly powerful and I know people are going to get a lot of value out of today's interview. So to start us off, Tracy, tell us a little bit about how you got to where you are now, you know, best-selling author, certified mindset coach. Tell us a little bit about your journey to get to where you are now. I always love this question and it brings me back to, okay, where exactly do I get to start? But really how I got to where I am is truly by working the work that I teach, right? It's by running my mind, by recognizing that my fear is there to guide me into what I get to do next. Loving that fear, my story, the short version that doesn't take you all the way back to May 15th, 1977 in Brooklyn, which we need much more time than we have, right, is, you know, I was

a VP of people and culture at a healthcare firm, elder care, for years. And I was experiencing that feeling in my gut of there's got to be something different than this. Like I said, I'm meant for bigger and I know that I have more to give. And, you know, I sat in that corporate job for two extra years after having that inspirational feeling. Wow. Because I was afraid. That's what kind of thrusted me into wanting to understand human potential and wanting to really understand what holds us back and why, and how do we get out of momentary inspiration

and fleeting motivation and really step in to who we know we're capable of becoming, or really accessing that limitlessness and that pure potential that we all talk about, right, and aspire to. But how do you take the practical steps to become that? And that's what thrusted me into who I am now and what I do now, because I did the work on myself first. Yeah. And isn't that true? I think we all have to, and that work is continual. One of the things I liked about your book is that you had these sections that said the work, right? That really encouraging us to do the work. So let's answer that question that you were kind of asking yourself. What do you think holds us back and why?

Fear. Fear is the underpinning of every person's block everywhere, period. There is no gray. If we spend enough time talking and I ask you enough great questions as a coach would, right? It all comes down to fear of something, fear of unknown, fear of rejection, fear of success, fear of failure, right? Fear of exposure, fear of not being liked, fear of not being enough. And once we understand two foundational things, number one, which is the underpinning of worthy human, you are enough. You're always enough. You've always been enough. You always will be enough. Nothing you do or don't do outside of you can ever influence your worth. You woke up today, boom, you nailed it. It's a birthright, right? And I know that it's not how

we were raised. You know, a lot of the concepts that I teach and coach is to shift all of the paradigms that were disempowering, right? And when you get to know right off the bat, I'm enough. And then the second component being understanding fear, right? Understanding it's biology, understanding that fearlessness is not a thing, right? Knowing how to love it and dance with it so that you use it more of a GPS of, Ooh, that's where my growth is. Oh, that's where the next level of myself is. Oh, that's where the highest version of me is. Now we're talking about limitless potential. Awesome. So what made you decide to write the book, Worthy Human, and really use these seven powerful questions to guide the structure of the book? So the book itself, the book concept

came through the course of all of the transformations that my students and clients were getting, right? And I know that I am here to make a massive splash, huge impact, right? My personal mission is to awaken millions to their personal power and honor their worth and run their mind. That's the fundamental of it. So I realized a book is going to help me help more people. So if I can distill down my theories and the practices and the work, right? The actual, the work that works 100% of the time when you work it, because that's the truth, right? Like diet and exercise. If you have a calorie deficit, you're going to lose weight. It's not a mystery. Just work the work, right? So I wanted to distill it down in a way that it was really accessible and the book made sense. It also was one of my own missions because my not enoughness looked like I'm not

smart enough. That was my plaguing. I chose to not show up in school, in class as much because I didn't think I was smart enough. I chose to not finish college because I believed at that stage in my life, I wasn't smart enough. There were all of these different things that I didn't honor myself. And once I did the work, because now I know the truth, that was just a limiting belief. The truth is, is that I'm really incredibly smart. I was like, oh, I'm going to write a book because the girl that wasn't smart enough would have never believed enough in herself to write a book. But the girl who's changing lives that knows damn well, she is super smart. She writes a book, right? So it came from that also. Yeah. I love it. So tell us a bit about your journey. You're kind of talking about,

you know, being in this position, VP of people and culture for two extra years, you knew you, you needed to leave or wanted to leave, but my senses fear was holding you there, right? Um, what do you do to get out of that? And what would you tell yourself at that point now that you know, all of this, you know, content and that you wrote the book and have helped so many different students and clients with mindset. So it absolutely was fear. And the fear sounded like, right, because as a mindset coach, it's all about what's happening in between your ears. The fear sounded like, are you sure this is going to work? What if it doesn't work? What if nobody shows up? What if you won't be successful with this? What if you take the risk and it bombs, right? Those were kind of like my recurring doubt thoughts that all came from the fear of me doing this, right?

What if I fail? What if I succeed? All the stuff that, you know, what if I'm rejected? All the stuff I said before, that was just happening. And then ultimately, the moment of decision was when I was away with my husband on vacation. The best pieces of your intuition will only come when you are not focused on the issue or the problem, right? When you give yourself the space and the connection to yourself and the quiet to connect to a deeper

truth that's always within you. And I remember I was sitting on the balcony, we both were, and he got up to go inside and I was just sitting there, beach waves, total relaxation. And I was able to connect to the vision of my possibility, right? Like of my own potential. It was one of those divine, beautiful moments where like, and it brings me to tears right now, where I saw it, where I was like, you can do this. We are all just potential and stop limiting yourself. And the bigger thing was, do you want to go down like this? Do you want to get to the end of your life and look back on a pile of what you could have done or who you could have became? And in that moment, it was like,

oh, hell no. And I remember, I remember getting up from the balcony, walking inside. I had been in communication with the coaching school I went back to school with for two years, right? Having copious conversations, you know, the whole thing, the thing we do, the dance that we do when we're not sure. And you couldn't quite decide. Yeah, totally. And then I just opened the laptop because I mean, it was there. I was ready to say yes this whole time. And I just went, that's it. Boom. And just emailed him. I'm in, here's the deposit. I'll start in the November module. Done. And that moment, right? The power of the decision. Yes. Everything else worked itself out. Yeah, that's good. So what I, what I just heard from that is you, you saw your potential

and you made a decision in the moment, right? You didn't wait or him and ha tell us, because I think people who are listening or perhaps want that breakthrough that I think we all know that we have even more potential, even if we're tapped into it, that there's, there's more, right? Tell us about what did that look like? What did that image, what did that vision, you know, tell us, or was it a feeling? Tell us about what that looked like. It was a feeling. It was a feeling and it was also like an image of me in that future self, right? It was like me speaking in front of thousands of people, right? It was me connecting to the emotion and the feeling of like, girl, you were placed on this earth to do this work. And then the thing that I did, which I love what you said, and I

know this will be helpful for everyone who's hanging out with us. I took that action and that's what solidified that decision because here's what really happens when we don't, right? That thing you were saying, we all know it, but how do you really access it? When you have an idea, when you have an inspirational hit, when you really access it when you have an idea when you have an inspirational hit when you know it's like oh like your gut your guts pulling you towards it right you can feel it you know it it's great idea and if you're not doing the work of running your mind what happens 100% of the time is about 15 to 45 seconds after that excitement and that, yeah, I'm going to do that. Your mind gets involved. Yeah. And it tells you all the reasons you shouldn't.

Yes, exactly. Exactly. What happens if it's wrong, right? The fear kicks in the what ifs. That's what I heard you say, the what ifs. Right. Everything I had allowed to paralyze me, me, my choice, my responsibility, right? That whole two years where I was hemming and hawing, when I was letting my mind be more powerful than me. And anytime we really want to be able to step up and out, you trust that gut, you go with the idea, you take a step forward, you don't need to see the staircase, just take the first step. Nice. And from there, everything else just starts to unfold. So tell us, your book is like,

Worthy Human, because you are the problem and the solution. That's one of the things I wanted to ask you about. Like, tell us about what does it mean that you are the problem and the solution? It really means that there is never anything getting in your way other than you, right? We were raised in a world and a culture that is so externally driven. It's so blame driven. It's so let me look outside of myself for the reasons. It's so once I feel this way, once I have this thing, then I'll finally feel better, right? And the truth is, is that it's never anything about anyone else or about any of your situations. We each truly are our own problem. We are the reasons why we don't feel how we want to feel, that we don't create what we

want to create, that we're not being who we're capable of being. And the beauty of that, after you get over being a little agitated, because a lot of people have lots of beautiful opinions about what I'm saying here. And if it does trigger you, that's amazing, because that was my goal, right? Like I need to wake you up. I'm not interested in your comfort. I'm interested in your growth.

What kind of coach would I be if I just wanted you to like, just be Rosie and unicorns all the time? That's not how we get it done, right? Right. So when you realize, realize okay I am the problem I am the root cause of every single experience that I have a few seconds later you can then shift into the highest level of freedom you will ever feel in your life because if you are the problem then you are the solution. If you're the obstacle, then you're the answer. You don't need to wait on anything or anyone else ever again to create shifts, to experience a relationship differently, to create

different actions or outcomes in your business, to feel how you want to feel on the inside. And that to me is the highest level of freedom we can ever have. Well, and my sense is what you're talking about is something you talk about in the book of like taking radical personal responsibility is that what you mean by you are the problem and the solution and can you expand on what that means to like take radical personal responsibility yes and i love that they are very intertwined because ultimately radical personal responsibility means regarding all things, you are going to own it, right? When you step into radical personal responsibility, what you're doing is you are saying, I'm done with

giving you all the reasons why. I'm done looking outside of myself to figure out why life doesn't feel good. I'm done making excuses so that things don't have to be my fault. I'm done justifying my way through something, even though there are a million red flags, right? It's total ownership. It's the highest level of empowerment. You know, a lot of people come to me, they want empowerment and empowerment is not a one-time event. And empowerment is not like bang your chest, hear me roar. Oh, I'm empowered. Not at all, right? Empowerment is your ability to take responsibility and choose moment to moment each and every day in alignment with what it is you say you want. And that's really what it comes down to. Moment to moment to choose and decide what you really want to go after it.

Yes. And really, truly moment to moment each day and run your mind, right? And be in alignment with how you want to feel and what you want to do. Know that so that you can choose. That's the path, right? The path is to choose what is congruent with what you say you want. That's how you actualize the desire. Yeah, that's good. And I like that you're emphasizing moment to moment because it is moment to moment. It's like it's not hour to hour or day to day, you know, because I think as we'll talk about, there's all these different ways we can get in our own way. One of the things I really liked Tracy was when I was reading about radical personal responsibility, you had this, every part of the book has this part, you know, it's gray called the work. And I really liked

that because it was really practical. It's like, okay, now I understand how I can do this. And you had, or you suggested that to shine light on the excuses and maybe the blaming, because that's what I hear when I don't take responsibility. I know that I'm blaming something, right? Blaming something outside myself, an event or a person or, you know, something outside myself. And you had us on one side, write everything you want. And what should we do on the other side of the piece of paper?

Write down all the reasons you don't have it yet. Write down all the reasons why it's not possible. Write down all the things that, you know, are stopping you from standing in what you want. And when you do that, you start to see all your bullshit. That's the beauty of it, right? That's as a mindset coach too. You'll always hear me teach you, write it down, write it down,

write it down. You're not going to help yourself thinking it through, chasing your thoughts in your own mind. In order to really shift and take a look at what the quality of your thinking is, you have to get it down on paper so you can step into becoming the observer of it and then change the way that you think. That's good. And so the first question you ask us in the first part, the choice one, is are you ready to understand how you've become the person that you are, right? Tell us why that's really important to understand how we've become the person that you are, right? Tell us why that's really important to understand how we've become

the person that we are. It's really important because you cannot change what you don't notice and you can't change what you don't fully accept, right? And it doesn't mean to condone or to agree with, but to really kind of take stock on where am I right now, right? If you're trying to go somewhere else, you need to understand where you are and understand what you might've picked up along the way that's created the way that you act, your attitudes, your behaviors, the way that you see the world, the perspective you have on things, right? That all comes from our upbringing. Everything that's going on for you, it's like, if we don't understand how we became who we are and then work to take responsibility

and shift it, then you pretty much have a seven-year-old running your life. A seven-year-old, that's powerful, right? And I think about for myself, I mean, I've done a lot of work on myself to understand myself, but I think to myself, well, you know, I'm an achiever because that's kind of what my dad emphasized. And sometimes I think to myself, well, you know, I have this negative thought pattern because I saw my mom do it, right? And I can easily blame that. Well, this is what I saw my mom doing when I was growing up, you know, and not really take responsibility and try to own that. So tell us what we might do with that because I think a lot of people can experience something similar to what I just said,

right? We maybe are aware of it, but we aren't taking responsibility or learn to shift it or work through it. Yeah. It ultimately gives you an opportunity to ask yourself as the beautiful adult grown person that you are, does this work for me? Is this way of being, right? Let's just say, take the, take the, my mom was a worrier. So I'm a worrier. Let's just say, because pretty common thing that I come across a lot with people. Does that work for you? Is it getting in your way? What is that costing you? Does it feel good? Is the beautiful, worthy human that you are capable of being, knowing that you can choose your way into all of it, that no part of you is permanent? I mean, when I learned this, my mouth was on the floor. I was like, can I get a megaphone and a neon suit

and stand on my rooftop and scream to the world, you are not fixed, right? Like it blows my mind. It's so exciting. So when you take a look at those, the patterns of behavior and the attitudes and the way you think and, and things that you picked up along the way from those people that raised you and stuff that happened in your life, it gives you the opportunity to stop. And kind of like, I look at it like this, you know, like you're cleaning out your closet and you hold up the dress that's been in there for 35 years. And you're like, do I like this? Do I even like this color? Do I even care about this? Am I wearing this? Because that's what my mom wore. Right. And really digging into, is this in alignment with me or not? And then being able to completely shift and toss out anything that doesn't feel good.

That's powerful. And I think to myself, I have two boys, you know, and I know that I'm emphasizing certain things with realizing it or not, you know, and it's like, man, what am I doing today? That's going to help or hurt them 20 years later. You know, do you have any advice on that for parents who are listening? Oh, I just very much do. I have three teenage daughters. So I'm in the thick of it. And you know, in the book, I talk about it as the drip process. That's kind of what I called it, right? Your great grandmother dripped shit on your grandma, your grandma dripped her shit on your mother, and your mother's dripping her shit on you. And we have the opportunity to break the cycle, right? And truly the first best thing we can all do as parents is do our own work. Stop trying to project and change and help your kids if you're not helping yourself.

Because our kids don't listen to what we say. They pick up on who we are, right? So the most powerful thing in the world, and my children have acknowledged me and the work I've done in myself, right? In the same way. And I see them like there's nuances and there's moments where I'm like, I didn't even have to say anything. Look at that choice. Look at that choice. You know?

So I think from that vantage point, doing the work of you is the biggest gift you can give to not only yourself, which is the number one most important person in your life, but to everyone around you. What you can do for me is work on you. Yeah, yeah, for sure, for sure. And I know you probably see this too as a coach, but you know, there's people that I meet that I'm like, wow, they're really struggling internally, right? Like they haven't done the work on themselves to understand maybe why they're making that decision or making that choice or blowing up, you know, an event or in a situation. So do the work on yourself. The second choice that you talk about is are you willing to own your shit? So tell us about that. And I think it's here where you talk

about like running your mind and making sure that you're really owning that. So tell us about that. And I think it's here where you talk about like running your mind and making sure that you're really owning that. So tell us about that topic. Yeah. So in the owning your shit, it's really a deep dive into radical personal responsibility that we were talking a little bit about before, right? It's really about realizing that you are responsible for all of it, including your stress. That's something I talk about in that area, right? We're really good in the society that we have been brought up in to think that someone's walking around giving an award for stress or overwhelm, because that's how we all act.

I'm the busiest. I'm the multitasker. I do more. I do more faster, right? And this kind of, we don't realize it, but it's a chronic stress society. But we're responsible for that. So when you really, are you ready to own your shit? What I'm asking you is, are you ready to change?

Are you ready to realize that you're the root cause? If you're not, stop reading the book because you're never going to get any further. If you're not willing to own it, right? Because that's where all your power lives. Then you're not going to change anything and you're not willing to own it right because that's where all your power lives then you're not going to change anything and you're not going to shift anything that's really what owning your shit is all about really understanding that that central theme of we are the root cause if something's going on outside of me it's because of what i'm focusing on it's because of what i'm thinking about it's because of what i'm projecting it's because of my own trigger something is happening within me that's creating that experience.

That's when you get to go in and dive in, right? And that's where the gold is, where you really are willing to go into what I call the honesty behind the honesty, because we're really masterful at bullshitting ourselves too. We're going really, right? Like we fake the funk to ourselves better than anything else. And we believe our own stories. But when you're really ready and you want something different than what you have, going to the honesty behind the honesty, that place of such deep vulnerability that you kind of want to throw up before you say it. Like you're like, oh my God, I can't believe

I'm thinking this right now. Oh, wow. Ooh, like you feel it in your gut. That was my real motivation. Wow. Those are the moments that you find the nuggets that really help you have like quantum change. Awesome. So the first, here we go. The first four questions that you ask us in these eight questions, powerful questions. So the first one was, are you ready to understand how you became the person you are? Second one, are you willing to own your shit? Third, are you ready to understand how you became the person you are? Second one, are you willing to own your shit? Third, are you ready to wake up and become your own observer? Fourth is, are you ready to run your mind instead of it running you? So that's the question I wanted to ask is, tell us about this fourth question about running your mind instead of letting it run you. Yes, yes. I love it. It's everything.

This is where I want you guys to go with this. You are not your mind, right? You are not your mind. If you're new to this work, it'll feel like, what's she talking about? On this work for a little while, this will still bring you to a deeper level. But when you start with the new belief of, oh, I'm not my mind. Okay. So I have an arm, right? I have a leg. I have a mind. If I want to smack you five, I direct my arm, smack you five. If I want to kick a soccer ball, I direct my leg, kick the soccer ball. If I want to build a business, I direct my mind to, this is going to be amazing. You've got everything that you need to. You're incredible. Success is for you. The universe is conspiring in your favor. Go girl. Right? It's like, whatever the thing is, wherever you want to go, you start to realize that although we weren't brought up this way,

which is like this common theme, right? We're changing paradigms. We're shifting, disempowering, outdated paradigms. And we're starting to think differently and realize that there is an entirely new way to live. Like there's an entirely new way to live where nothing makes you feel anything ever, where you don't take things personally, where your ego isn't in the driver's seat and where you are running your mind and thinking deliberately instead of just walking around, believing all your thoughts. Yes. Or, you know, screwing you over essentially. Yeah. And what, when you see, you know, when you work with your students and your clients, tell us about what do you see in terms of people's trends with their mind? You know, I kind of think about it as

that we have these automatic negative thoughts. We don't always choose, right? I don't choose to think I can't do it, or I don't choose to experience the fear, but I can certainly choose my response to that. But what are you seeing in terms of trends, like the negativity and what's the limiting beliefs? Tell us a little bit about those. The trends are usually connected to the iteration of not feeling enough, right? The negativity, which is really because of our negativity bias and feeling like the work is hard, right? Feeling like it's take so much to change. Thinking that you're working mindset work, but you're not really working mindset work because you're still believing your thoughts, right? If you're coming at me with a story, you're just believing all the

thoughts that your mind is offering you. So to actually do this work, and I give two really powerful tools in the book, I think they're the best mindset tools you can use, is to realize that you're always living in the feeling of what you think. So if you start to use your feelings as a guidance system, then you can really, really quickly pause and go up into your gorgeous, beautiful tool here in between your ears and go, wait a second, what was my mind just offering me? Not me, not me. Because like I said, you have an arm, you have a leg, you have a mind, you're the being in charge right you are the entity that is the director of this show so stop letting your mind lead because where you are right now and listening to our hangout together has already told you where your mind is gonna take you

you know where you land when you let your mind drive. Now it's time to realize, thank God for neuroscience, like hello, it is unbelievable. You get to realize, wait, I get to choose. And then in that way, you're actually unstoppable. Like actually, all the big conversations we have in this personal growth world about human potential, limitless, you actually are. Love it. So tell us about the two exercises in the book that you just mentioned to help you really take control of this mind. Yes. So one of them, and this is like my personal favorite, I work at myself all the time. I always joke around that I want to put like a nanny cam in my office so you guys can see me work the work. Because everything I teach and give, you know, when the book came out, my mind had a field day, a field day.

What's going to happen? Who's going to like it? Is it going to be good? Is all the bullshit, right? And I stopped and I did this exercise, my side by side, right? You take a piece of paper, you draw a line down the middle on the top left. My mind says on the top right, you put what I say. Exercise starts to distinguish because what I need everyone

to get to is truly, truly believing, not just hearing me say, but believing I'm not my mind. So my mind's going to always offer me thoughts because it's like your eyes blink, your heart beats, your mind produces thoughts. Like it's a done deal. No one's going to stop thinking anytime soon. Right? So the thoughts are going to come, but any thoughts your mind gives you before you start to work the work are thoughts of past story, thoughts of limitation, thoughts of your history, thoughts that are fear-based, thoughts that are ego-driven, right? Whereas what you say are thoughts that are in alignment, thoughts that bring you to how you want to feel, thoughts that empower you to be who you know you're capable of being.

So before you know it, you start walking around and now your vernacular is like, oh, you know what's so interesting? My mind said, da, da, da, da, da. But I said, boom, boom, boom, right? And now like my students, they come out and they start to speak like that because it's also every word you speak directs your mind. There's lots of laws of the mind and that's one of them. And when you start to draw a distinction and you're walking around saying, my mind says, then you know, you're not your mind, right? You know, you're in the power position to change and choose, which is like the best thing ever. That is really powerful. I like the simplicity of just on one side, you know, my mind says, and the other one, what I say, is I think you're really emphasizing the personal responsibility on that and realizing you don't have to believe everything you think.

Yes. I love even using that says, you know, what you described, like using that word, like my mind said, but I say, it's really empowering. So Tracy, what's the second exercise you wanted to share with us? The second exercise, and it's an iteration of Byron Katie's questioning process. I'm a huge fan of hers. She is the pioneer of this. I took it one step further physically because I love when we can do things physically or create an experience with something. It just helps the transformational process a little bit more. Like it helps it stick, you know? So when you find yourself in a certain feeling, like you're really annoyed. Okay. You recognize that feeling and you

pause because you notice it. You cannot change what you do not notice, right? You notice it, you pause, take a couple deep breaths, interrupt your nervous system, right? And then I want you to go up into your mind and ask yourself, if I'm annoyed, what story am I telling myself that's making me feel annoyed? Like, what is my mind spinning out in, right? And then you find the thought that's the cause or the origin of what's going on with your feelings. And then you literally take your hand and you put it on your forehead and you pull the thought out of your head. Like a typical motion, like everybody, whether you're hearing me or seeing me, take your hand, stick it to the forehead and pull like you're pulling something out of your head,

right? Yep. And then you float it out in front of you. If you have a post-it note or a pen, super, write it down, right? If not, just float your hand out in front of you. So now you're looking at the thought, right? It's no longer in your head. So maybe the thought was, you know, your spouse is pissing you off or whatever. Like we have, you know, normal relatable things that go on. Oh, I lost a client or whatever it's going on, right? I didn't get hired for that gig. So you look at it and then you question it. So now inherently, because the thought is outside of you and you're the thing looking at the thought, once again, you're affirming you're not your mind, you're not your thoughts. And then you look at it and you question it. And in the book, I give a questioning series of really digging into how is this thought serving me? How is it hurting me? Is it in alignment with who I want to be? Is it bringing me stress or peace?

Was one of Byron's questions and just moving through the ability to realize I need to throw this out. Yeah. I don't need to believe it. All right. Exactly. And then you can literally, this is the fun part of this exercise. Then if you choose to keep it, which is one of the questions, you literally have to put it back in your head. You have to make the choice to go, oh yeah, I'll put that back in, which you'll never do that because nobody wants to make themselves feel like shit on purpose. So instead you'll toss it and now you're free of it. Awesome. So I like the idea of like examining it. You know, when you put your hand out, I thought about looking at it, really deciding if it's something that I really want to believe. Is this what I say versus what my mind says? And then the simple choice of either putting

it back or putting it in the trash. And I could see even just the, you write it down. All right, I'm putting it in the trash, kind of like this physical representation of moving on. Yes. Yes. The physicality is incredible to really promote change. Yeah. Awesome. So the fifth powerful question that you ask in your book is, are you ready to give up the shit that is killing your soul? My favorite. And there were, if I have the number right, six kind of life sucks that you talked about. And so these six life sucks really got my attention and they were control, expectation, judgment,

comparison, caring what other people think, and then resentment. And I think, well, there's, we could go into these, wow wow we could spend like hours talking about these six but the one I want to ask you a bit more about is caring what other people think because I think in this space where you or I and where we're at like we can really think when we put something on social media we can get nervous about what people think when your book came out when my book came out it was like oh, oh, I hope people like this, when people don't like it, right? And that's where the fear comes in. So tell us about why it's really important to not care what people think. I love this topic. I'm so glad we went here. And I love that this is of the six, what you want to talk about. So thank you. Yes. When you choose,

right? And I'm always going to use the word choice because it's all choice. No, it's not just like you take things personally. That's how you are. That's crap. You're choosing it. When you choose to care what people think, you are giving your power to them. When you care what other people think, you are living a muted, contorted version of who you really are when you care what other people think you don't prioritize yourself and put yourself

first right you don't you're not you're not giving yourself the space to be unapologetically you right everybody wants to feel more the word authenticity is everywhere more authentic them more, do what I want, you do you, right? All of these beautiful things we talk about. Yeah. If you choose to care what other people think, you will block yourself from that freedom forever. And you're ultimately saying your opinion of me is more important than my opinion of me. Oh, wow. There we go. And that's gross. It's gross and yucky and not how you honor your worth as a worthy human. That's powerful. So your opinion is more powerful what you think about

me than what I think about myself. Right. Yeah. It's like you're waiting. And again, let's go back another way that we were raised, external approval, external validation. Right. Truth is, is that we're our own approval. We're our own validation. It must feel good to you, not everybody else. We're not waiting for permission from the outside world, right? It's like we have only so much time in this magnificent life. So be it like we're all make it to over a hundred. Do you want to live a muted version of yourself or not?

Do you want to live? Contorting and making sure in that weird eggshell II way and not speaking your mind and not setting boundaries And not standing up for what you believe in and not saying what's true for you Because you give a shit about what this person this person this person's gonna think about you, right? Really think about it. Do you want to go down like that? And then you work your mind so that you don't. Really think about it. Do you want to go down like that? And then you work your mind so that you don't have to worry about it anymore. Yeah, that's good.

Well, there's a question in part of the section in that, you know, you call it the work, which I really appreciate. And then the question was, who would you be if you didn't care? And I thought, wow, isn't that really a powerful question? And I thought about that for myself and, you know, it helps me even realize the way that I'm holding myself back, even though I keep on doing the work on myself, right? But there are ways

still that I get in my own way. So tell us about that exercise, you know, that helps you think about who would you be if you didn't really care what other people thought? Yeah. Well, first of all, even hearing you read it gives me a visceral response. My whole body felt that, you know, and I've said that forever. I wrote that. I heard it from you and my body went, oh yes. Right. Because what I'm, what I am intending to do for you with that question is allow you to leave the space you're in now of caring and float into the land of not giving your power away that way and allow you to have that moment of, oh my God, who would I be? Oh my God, what are all the things I'm doing because I'm afraid of what they think? How many of the last dozen choices I made were because I was afraid that

someone wouldn't like me? Where am I hiding because I'm afraid of other people's opinions? It starts to open you up. It's me getting you to see it differently. And most importantly, start to feel what it would feel like to release this life sucker forever. And it feels so good. It's like, oh, I'm never going back. I'm never going back. Yeah. And I think that's what you mean by this unlimitless potential. And I can see as you're talking and the questions you asked us to consider, the ways that we're holding ourselves back by worrying what other people think. Yes. Yeah. And how we really can't be our authentic self if we're worried about if people are going to like the video we post on Facebook or those are sort of the ways that I worry about what

other people think. And there's maybe other ways that, you know, are people going to like me or am I going to fit in and all the other external approval that you were talking about. Yeah. It ultimately stunts you. And quite frankly, it depletes your energy. Because if you're caring about what other people think, you're toggling, you're hedging, you're not sure, right?

You're waiting to get the permission or the approval first before you jive right in, right? Right. And that's an exhausting way to live. Yeah. before you jive right in, right? And that's an exhausting way to live. It's so much easier to do the work, right? The way that we're talking about it and decide that you are the single most important relationship of your life. And I say that with three kids I'm in love with and my husband who's amazing and beautiful friends and family and a beautiful community. My relationship with me is number one. My relationship with me is number one. My opinion of me is number one and doing things that feel good to me. So I am being me, right? I mean, the other beautiful part of being who you are unapologetically is that you, number one,

start to feel amazing. Number two, you weed out the people that aren't in alignment with who you really are right because the person you're being when you care about what people think isn't actually you right version of you that you think is accepted by everybody else whose opinions you're relying on right and even as you hear me say that doesn't that feel like insane? Like why would we actually do that? Why would we do that to ourselves now that we know better at a time where we don't know better? Great. Like, you know, we're always doing the best we can in every single moment. Every human is, I can look back on my life and tell you 17,000 stories of whoa. Right. But in that moment, I was doing exactly what I thought was right. But now we

know better. And now we can make choices like this to like have exponential change in our lives. Right. Awesome. So Tracy, the sixth question you ask us to consider, are you ready to fall madly and deeply in love with yourself? And I also like to, I like that powerful question to start with, but I like, again, I keep on going back to these exercises because they're so practical and that's what I really appreciated about your book. And there was a part where you said for you had us to do the work and you had us read out loud or you suggested we read like, I accept myself fully and unconditionally. I'm worthy, whole and enough. Tell us about just the power of falling deeply in love with yourself and why that really matters.

It's the power cord for all the other things you want. And the irony in it, it's the most overlooked. Because again, we're so influenced to look outside, to look for the strategy, to have the possession, to figure it out externally. And never were really taught how to actively love yourself and what that means, right? We hear so much, especially in our world of personal growth and peak performance and success mindset and all that kind of work. We hear, just love yourself. Love yourself. You got to love yourself, right? And it was starting to drive me a little crazy. So I was

like, just stop saying it. What does that even mean? Right. How do you actively love you're loving yourself as a verb? How do you actively love yourself? What are the components of that? Right. How do you start to realize once you nurture this, right? Meaning this, me and me and me, you and you, this relationship with oneself, looking in the mirror and realizing you are in a relationship with you and you start to treat it that way. Now you're in the birthplace of your, of your power because it's your power cord, because it's how you see yourself. It's whether or not you accept yourself. It's how you speak to yourself. It's whether or not you beat the shit out of yourself or lead with self-compassion,

right? These areas of it that when you're in practice of that, it's like, you know, you have filled up your gas tank with the premium, premium gas and it is always at full and you're ready to rock. So how would you tell us to start with that? Because I know people who are listening are thinking, I beat myself up all the time. I don't really know if I love myself. Where do we start? Well, you read the book and you'll do the work because there's tons of exercise in the section. But I think that the exercise you brought up is actually a gorgeous place to start. And here's why. So that section is about you basically speaking a certain set of mantras that I created statements. That's what mantra is. It's a statement, power statement.

And what I want you to do is read it and then be quiet and listen to what your mind offers you as to why that's not true. You're saying a statement like I accept myself fully and unconditionally. I am whole. I am lovable. I am enough. If you then get quiet, you will find the resistance that's in your system. You will find all the evidence that you've been carrying around as to why you're not any of those things. And that's where a lot of the work goes. So we can shift that out because the first piece of true loving yourself is acceptance of yourself. Self-acceptance, not agree with or condone,

which is self-acceptance. I love every part, the ups and downs, the ins and outs, the bad, the good, you know, all of it. So that's where I would start so that you could figure out what your blocks are. Like what are your blocks that are stopping you from accepting yourself? Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. So the last two questions you have us consider in your book, are you ready to give yourself permission to be happy? And then are you willing to fall in love with fear? And that's the last question I really wanted to talk about in terms of the content in your book is, wow, like fall in love with fear. You know, I know you said earlier that fear is kind of the

number one thing that's really holding us back. And so why should we fall in love with fear? Because if you don't, you will never reach the levels of yourself that you say you want. You will continue to wish, hope, pray, and dream and never actualize. Because ultimately, when you understand fear, and that it's biological, right, you know that your mind basically uses fear as an undercover agent to keep you alive. Because your mind's one job is to make sure you survive. Your mind doesn't care if you're happy or sad or having great sex or not, or if you're making a ton of money or you're not or you're, you know, succeeding in all of the

things that you want to do or not, that's not your mind's job. Your mind's job is survival. And when you start to think about or go after anything different than what you have right now, right, whether it's feeling different than you feel going from worry and stress to peace and ease, you know, doing that live stream, like you were talking about getting on Facebook live and sharing your message, that program, if it's going for that next level in your athletic goals, if it's whatever, if it's using your voice in a place where you would normally hide and shrink down, anytime you think about or start to go after anything different than who you are right now in this moment as you listen is unknown and it's unfamiliar to your system. And that unfamiliarity,

your mind hates the unfamiliar, know that mind law as well, triggers the fear response because your mind's going, hey, fear. She's trying to go do this thing and it's unfamiliar to us and it might mean imminent death. So can you hop in and throw up some self-doubt

or anything else you can possibly put into her mind to get her to sit back down? And then it does. And because you're not mastering your mind, you listen to it and you believe that thought, and then you sit back down and do nothing. And then your mind goes like this. She's alive. We nailed it. And your life loses. Your dreams die. That's why you being the problem and the solution and running your mind and being the director of this magnificent life is everything. And when you understand fear that way, and then you understand, okay, trace, so it's biological and it's always going to come. What do I do? Loving it is the way to get, is the way into it. It's the way to shift your relationship to it

because it's not going, it's, fear is not something you overcome. You're not going to power your way through fear. That actually only exacerbates it. When we try to use force and push, the best thing to do is own it and your radical responsibility, right? And go, come here, see you fear like, oh, my fear is going, no one's going to watch this live stream. What are people going to think? What if nobody comments, right? And in that moment, you pause once again, notice number two, interrupt your nervous system, take a few deep breaths, right? And then look across from you because that's where that opposition is. That fear, you pull it. Like I teach this in the book and put your hands out and you grab it. Come here,

come to me, my little fear and sit with me, right? Sit with me. I'm going to love you for a second. I love you. I hear you. I feel you. I know you're here because you think I'm in danger. I'm totally not. I'm just going after my dreams. Right. So thank you. You can sit here quietly and use your power for good. And now all of a sudden you're also adding levity. You're getting silly, which is so ever so I talk about that in the happiness section of the book. So important. No one's having enough fun. Everyone's so serious and congested. It's like, just stop, please. Right? It's only life after all.

No one's getting out alive. Relax. And when you have that kind of levity with it and that kind of love with it, now nothing becomes more powerful than taking action towards who you want to be. Yeah. Awesome, Tracy. I love the value you provided today. I know people are going to want to reach out to you.

They're going to want to buy the book because not only have you asked really powerful questions, but you're really helping us be the highest potential and helping us be our best self. So the book, again, is Worthy Human because you are the problem and the solution. Tell us about where we can get the book. You can get the book on Amazon and it's available in all countries. So you just go on Amazon, type it in the search bar and you'll see it there. Right now it's available on Kindle and paperback. In the next few weeks, the audio is coming out and I did my own audio. That was a fascinating experience. It was amazing. So you'll be able to hear my voice coming through on the words, which was important. So that'll be available as well on Amazon.

And how can we reach out to you? I know people are going to be interested in maybe connecting with you on social media or learning more about your coaching. So tell us how we can connect with you after listening. All of my social media channels are the lit factor and it's lit with two T's. So it's the lit factor. And my website is also the lit factor.com. So you can seek, seek me out anywhere by typing those three words in. That's awesome. And we would love to hear from you. So, uh, connect with Tracy over at the lit factor.com. Um, I love Twitter, Tracy. So that's kind of the social medium on Instagram as well. So you can go over there and find us at the Lip Factor.

I'm at Mentally Underscore Strong on Twitter and Jacinda Camp off on Instagram. So we'd love to hear from you. What stood out to you in terms of what was important to you? What was the most powerful thing that Tracy talked about? And Tracy, thank you again for your wisdom. You know, I want to honor you just for following your own path. And I think it could be the easy decision to stick in that job as VP, right? But you chose a different path to really help and empower other people. So I'm grateful for your book and for the message that you provided today.

Thank you. I'm super grateful for you and the opportunity to hang out with you and do this. We could clearly talk for days and I love that. I know. I'm grateful to serve your community. That's amazing. So thank you so much for having me. Thank you, Tracy. Thanks. Thank you for listening to High Performance Mindset. If you like today's podcast, make a comment, share it with a friend and join the conversation on Twitter at Mentally Underscore Strong. For more inspiration and to receive Sindra's free weekly videos, check out DrSindra.com.