High Performance Mindset | Learn from World-Class Leaders, Consultants, Athletes & Coaches about Mindset - 275: How to Overcome Negativity Bias

Episode Date: September 12, 2019

Willie Nelson – “We create our own unhappiness. The purpose of suffering is to help us understand we are the ones who cause it.”   High performers work to overcome the negativity bias. They intentionally choose to see the positive and talk to themselves positivity about their experiences. They take a gentle and curious approach with themselves.   Power Phrase this Week: “I intentionally choose to see positive in each situation this week. I will work my mindset!”

Welcome to High Performance Mindset with Dr. Sindra Kampoff. Do you want to reach your full potential, live a life of passion, go after your dreams? Each week we bring you strategies and interviews to help you ignite your mindset. Let's bring on Sindra. It's always a great way to start your week on a Monday with High Performance Mindset with Dr. Sindra Kampoff. Good morning, Sindra. Good morning. Thank you for having me today. Great to have you in. Always good to see a big smile on your face after a big purple victory. Did you see that? At U.S. Bank Stadium. Of course I saw it.

Of course I saw it. Yeah, it was really great. Very positive start to the season for the Vikings. Fantasy football on the other hand is stupid. It sucks. I hate it and I quit. I seem to go up against somebody who just has a guy that goes off and in both of my leagues I have guys that just went off.

Oh, there he is. And I can't do it. I'm over it. How to overcome the negativity bias today. That's exactly why I threw that out there. So while you're over there throwing me under the bus, it was a good segue, right? I have to say, before we get into this particular segment, when I was walking through the living room and they were watching the football game,

I heard somebody on the television. This is how much I watch football. Yeah. But I'm like, oh, Cinder's probably, you know, watching this or there or whatever with working with the Vikings. And then I heard somebody say, yeah, the coach said they just got a reset.

No. And I was like... Nice. Where'd the coach learn that? I wonder where he got that one from. Right. All right, so we start with a quote today. How to overcome the negativity bias.

Is this the one and only legendary Willie Nelson you're talking about? This is the Willie Nelson. Listen to this quote. It's very good. He said, we create our own unhappiness. The purpose of suffering is to help us understand we are the ones who cause it. Awesome. All right, Willie.

Way to go. So an example to start with. Go ahead. So I'm going to start with a personal example. And this is a time where I find myself reacting in a really negative way really quickly. And it's when I get an email or a phone call from a boss. Last week, I got an email from my dean and immediately I went to the negative. I thought, what did I do wrong? What's happening? I went to the worst case scenario instead of the best case. And this is when I noticed I do it the most. And I'm wondering if people can relate. For sure. Yeah. I mean, three out of three. So I'm going to guess a lot of people can relate to that. Yes. Everyone in this room, I think, can relate to that.

Afraid of what's coming. Absolutely. We can. And so today, really, what we're talking about is negativity bias. And really, as humans, we pay attention to the negative rather than positive information, like on the news, right? We're looking for the negative instead of the positive. Sadly. Sadly, and we sometimes search out for the negative. But I think what's really interesting is this is really evolutionary. So, you know, at some point, we had to fight animals to stay alive. We had to kind of hunt to really to care for ourselves. And it was really life or

death. And so I think the way to think about this is that your brain is really heated here to keep you safe, not always help you be happy or be a peak performer. Is this something you talk about in your book as well? I talk about it. Yeah. And it's from practice number three about really mastering your thoughts. And why do you experience negativity bias syndrome? Yeah, we experience it because we have inherited these genes that really predispose us to find what's negative and to pay special attention to the negative aspects of our environment, right? So they can't harm us. And so this bad stuff is really here to help us keep our body safe. And the part of our brain that actually controls our emotions and our memory is called our amygdala.

And what's interesting is that two-thirds of the neurons in this amygdala is looking for bad news. So we're just kind of programmed that way. We are programmed that way. Which is kind of weird. If there's like a dinosaur around the corner and you need to know and be safe. Yeah, that might help you. But right now we are in the modern world.

But how does this. It's just snakes instead here at Radio Mankato. How does the negativity bias impact us every day here now in the modern world? Yeah, great question. So I would say like two ways. First, negative events kind of imprint more quickly and then they linger longer. And so what's really interesting is negative events really do get stored quickly in our memory, but positive ones take a little bit longer. And so what you want to do first thing is to really

hold those positive events in awareness. And kind of what I mean by that is what the research shows, if you hold it for like 12 seconds or longer, like if you savor it, if you notice the positive and then savor it, it's more likely to store in your long-term memory. So that's going to help you train that brain. Okay. That's my question. Because if we have this innate negativity bias, how do we overcome it? Yes. And the good news is that you really can. You can overcome this default setting. And the key is to really, I think the single most important way is really how you're talking to yourself and how you're making sense of your experiences. So you can always be looking for, you know, the important things are not important things. And you can always be looking for the positive or the negative. So you really, truly have to

work on valuing all the good and positive in your life so that you can overcome the negative. It's really about working your mindset. I think you and I talked about this last week where I was like, I've been trying really hard to go, okay, well, what am I supposed to learn from this? Why do I feel uncomfortable? What am I supposed to learn from it? Awesome. Instead of, oh, it's so awful. Yes. Sometimes it just feels awful. What's another way? Another way that we can really train our mind and work our mindset is to cultivate a really gentle and patient approach with ourselves. And what I notice, at least that's when I'm really negative is with myself. And so having grace with yourself is really important. You know, understanding that some days aren't going to be perfect and it's,

you know, it's about growing and learning and trying to get better. But I think the key is really that you can savor these experiences so that it's storing your long-term memory and work to see the good and work this mindset. What's your final message for us? My final message is, I love this quote by Eleanor Roosevelt. And she famously once said, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. That's pretty good. So what I think is the way that we can apply it to ourselves and our negativity bias is refuse to consent to make yourself feel inferior. Instead, really work to see even the positive about yourself.

So in summary. In summary, high performers work to overcome the negativity bias. They intentionally choose to see the positive and talk to themselves positively about their experiences. They take a gentle approach with themselves and stay positive with themselves. Like the Detroit Lions. Well, we didn't lose, but we tied. We tied. Hey, that is positive.

What's the power phrase for this week? Okay. I intentionally choose to see the positive in each situation this week. I will work my mindset. All right. We did mention a part of the book again. So if people are interested in getting their hands on the whole entire book and the workbook that goes along with it, or listening to podcasts or hiring you to motivate people at maybe their business or their sports teams and schools and things like that, I know you are very, very busy with all of that. Where do we get information on that? You can head over to Dr. Sindra, so D-R-C-I-N-D-R-A,

and you can use the code FREESHIP, and you'll get free shipping on the book, Beyond the Grid. Thank you for a very good enunciation right there. Dr. Sindra Kampoff with us today with High Performance Mindset. Thank you. Good to have you in, and she'll be back again on Monday on Minnesota 93. Thank you for listening to High Performance Mindset. Good to have you in and she'll be back again on Monday on Minnesota 93.