High Performance Mindset | Learn from World-Class Leaders, Consultants, Athletes & Coaches about Mindset - 276:How to Respond to Adversity & Attract What You Want with Erin Alvey

Episode Date: September 14, 2019

Erin was born and raised in southern Georgia. She grew up listening to Bruce Springsteen, Tom Petty, The Beatles, Simon and Garfunkel, and Irish music…a whole lot of Irish music. Her mom introduced her to country music.  She would play Toby Keith, Alan Jackson and Brooks and Dunn in the car.  As a little girl, Erin would try to get my voice as deep as I could to match theirs.   She’s been performing for as long as she could remember. When she was 19, her cousin Jacob Underwood (from MTV’s making the band, OTown) brought her to Nashville to start my dream. She recorded my first EP in the Rascal Flatts private studio.   Since then I’ve been writing daily and recording more songs along the way- including “Tomahawk Love” and her latest single is called “Any Other Heart.” When she first started a reporter said she would be as popular as Taylor Swift one day. This motivates her to keep pounding away and working hard. Erin has finally found her genuine, unique sound and she believes there is no better feeling than sharing that with people.  In this podcast, Erin and Cindra talk about: Why we need to go through the lows A powerful question you can ask yourself to be grateful for right now The best way to respond to adversity Why it’s important to actively receive How we can each practice magic You can find a full description of the Podcast at cindrakamphoff.com/erin   You can find Erin at erinalvey.com.

Welcome to High Performance Mindset with Dr. Sindra Kampoff. Do you want to reach your full potential, live a life of passion, go after your dreams? Each week we bring you strategies and interviews to help you ignite your mindset. Let's bring on Sindra. Welcome to the High Performance Mindset Podcast. This is your host, Dr. Sindra Kampoff, Certified Mental Performance Consultant, Speaker, and Author. And I'm grateful that you're here, ready to listen to episode 276 with Aaron Alvey. Now, if you know mindset is essential to your success, then this is the podcast for you where we explore everything related to mindset to help you be at your best,

to reach your potential every day, to help you be the best version of yourself. And today I had a fabulous interview with Erin Alvey. So let me tell you about Erin so you can get familiar with her background and this sets the stage for the interview today. So let me tell you about Erin so you can get familiar with her background. And this sets the stage for the interview today. So Erin was born and raised in southern Georgia. She grew up listening to Bruce Springsteen, Tom Petty, The Beatles, Simon Garfunkel, and Irish music. That's a whole lot of Irish music. So her mom introduced her to country music and she would play Toby Keith and Alan Jackson, Brooks and Dunn, all in her car.

And Erin would try to keep her voice just as low as theirs to match them. And she's been performing for as long as she can remember. When she was 19 years old, her cousin Jacob Underwood from MTV's Making the Band or O-Town brought her to Nashville to start her dream. And that's where she recorded her first EP in a Rascal Flatts private studio. Since then, she's been writing daily and recording more songs along the way, including songs such as Tomahawk Love, and her latest single is called Any Other Heart. When she first started recording, a reporter said she'd be as popular as Taylor Swift one day, which this motivates her to

keep pounding away and working hard. So as you can tell from our interview, Erin has really focused on finding her unique, genuine sound, and she believes there is no other better feeling than sharing it with people. In this podcast, Erin is very wise. It's very impressive. And she talks all about how you can really use your mind to reach your potential no matter what you're doing. And for her, that might be as a singer-songwriter or as an actress. And so we talk about why actually we need to all go through the lows and why that's really essential to our success.

She provides a powerful question you can ask yourself to be grateful right now. She talks about the best way to respond to adversity, why it's important to actively receive, and at the end, I love our conversation about how we can each practice magic and why that's essential to our success in general. So you can find a full description of the podcast today at cindracampoff.com slash Erin. And we'd love to hear from you. You can head over to Twitter and you can find me at mentally underscore strong and Erin at Erin Alvey. We'd love to hear what you think. You can also find us over on Instagram. That's Erin Alvey and I'm at cindracampoff. Without further ado, let's bring on Erin. Welcome to the podcast, Erin Alvey. Thank you so

much for joining me. How's your day going? Thanks, Andrea. Yeah, it's going awesome. Excited to be on the podcast. I'm really excited to talk to you just about entertainment in general and being a singer and songwriter and an actress and the mindset that it really takes to be successful in that realm. Tell us a little bit about your passion and what you're really passionate about right now. Yeah, so definitely ever since I was a little girl, I liked to entertain. It was kind of a blessing and a curse. And my family always laughed because I was always trying to do something to entertain. So as I got older, I got a degree in sports broadcasting and I worked on TV for a little bit doing that. And I loved it. But music was something that I

always was most passionate about but it's one of those careers where you can't really depend on it financially at first so it kind of took a while to get that off and then once things got started I was able to you know pursue music harder and then acting was something I did as a young girl and I randomly landed a pretty big part so So I was in Thailand for all of February doing that. So I think entertainment has always been part of my path in different realms altogether. Yeah, it's great that you followed your passion and you were, even when you're in sports broadcasting, you're really paying attention to what you're excited about. And what was calling you to kind of get back to or get to singing and songwriting?

Yeah, so I was in college. I remember my freshman year. I kind of did the typical, like, enjoyed freshman year. I had so much fun with my friends and everything. And at the end of my freshman year, I came home that summer, and I told my parents that I just couldn't see myself doing that for three more years. I was like, I just don't know if I want to, I just don't know if I'm really feeling fulfilled. I didn't, I loved what I was doing, but I was kind of doing the general classes. So I wasn't in my major yet. And I, I'm kind of a homebody. So I kind of felt like I was just not doing the most at making me happy

at that point. So we talked about some of my passions. And I remember, I really, I told them I had interest in being a singer songwriter. And I have a cousin who was very successful in the early 2000s. He was in a boy band. And he told me that if I were willing, he'd heard me sing and such. He said that he would launch a career with me. So we decided to do that at the end of my freshman year.

And I, he said, okay, if you write four songs, I will take you to Nashville and I'll get you all set up the recording and we will do, you know, a private studio and all that. And so when you write your four songs, come back to me and we will go down there. And so I spent four days and I wrote four songs real fast because I knew I wanted it. And then, you know, the next month we were down in Nashville and that's kind of where it all started.

And ever since then, it, you know, I just knew that it's what I'd love to do. It brought me a lot of happiness and a lot of hurt, but it's definitely worth every second of it. Yeah. I think what you said is really important. A lot of happiness and a lot of hurt. And, you know, Erin, one of the things I help people do is I coach them on their mindset and I'm a certified mental performance coach. And one of the, yeah, that I'm working with right now is actually working to launch his career. And he has a full-time job, but knows that like singing and songwriting is his passion. And so what advice would you give to somebody

who's really just getting started? Man, I think every, I know it sounds so cliche, but you really do have to find like your own sound. And I will say I'm very guilty of trying to find somebody else's sound in a way, like what was popular at the time. And for a long time, I was chasing certain genres and certain songs that I didn't have a ton of heart in, but I felt like it made sense for me, like by my image and it made sense for my demographic.

I was like, okay, I'll just fall into this. But up until recently, I was following that path, I'll just fall into this. But up until, you know, recently I was following that path and I think people can see through that a mile away. So I think whatever you're hearing already on the radio, it's already on the radio. So you're going to have to come up with something that's not there. And it's hard, but also at the same time, like, you know, it's, somebody's going to do it. So you might as well be the person to do it, come up with something new. Nice. And I, what I'm hearing in that comment is really like finding your authentic self, you know? And so like, you know, you've done that in singing and songwriting and now as an actress. Yeah. Oh yeah. Finding my

authentic self in an acting, it's kind of hard because you're playing a different role. Yeah, that's true. You're playing a completely different person, but I think that it just, it shows you that you can, whatever you set your mind to, like you really can push your limits and you don't know what you're capable of doing until you're literally the man in the arena doing it. It's really powerful. And so, you know, one of the things I think is really important about singing and songwriting is that you get rejected and, you know, there are times where maybe you don't get feedback that's really awesome. You know, and you get a lot of no's. So tell us how, you know, you think mindset really plays a role in that. I think my dad will probably hear me talk about my parents a lot throughout this interview

because they've always been like such strong, like mental game, like, you know, enforcers. They've always been very good for me in that aspect. And my dad always says that this career, there's a lot of highs and there's a lot of lows. And he said, I had to promise him when I was a little girl, like 19, but I felt like a little girl. He said, when you're going into it, promise me that you won't get too high on the highs and you won't get too low on the lows. And it was true. Like, and it's funny that things now that, you know, even up to two or three years ago would have had me just made my whole week like oh my gosh so excited they feel like everyday things and that's so cool for me to say now but

I also it's hard to say that because now it's like I have to up you know bigger things have to happen in order to get that high again you know that feeling but at the same time I don't feel as low like when I don't get something or when, like you said, like if it's not received as well as I want it to be received, a song or something, then I brush it off just as well as I brush off the highs. You have to brush off the lows just the same and just, you know, stay focused. Yeah, that's really good. So can you give a little insight on how you do that? Because I like what you're saying is not getting too high or too low. I hear athletes say that all the time, right? Like, you know, you've had a great play. Don't get too high.

Don't get too low if a mistake happened. But how do you exactly do that? What's your insight on that? Yeah, I think that that definitely took the practice because I think that when I first started off, that's all I did. I was every little opportunity to freak out and get so excited. And I kind of missed those days a little bit.

But I think after enough lows, I honestly think this is an experience question. Like you have to go through them. It's not like you can kind of like from the first low, you just know like, Oh, this is a low. I recognize it and I'm not going to accept it. Like you have to go through it. And sometimes you have to feel low in order to know how,

like to be able to recognize it. And then, you know, the next time understand that it's not the end of the world. And I guess just knowing, going into whatever you're going into, just knowing that it's not going to be the end of the world, but allow yourself to feel how you want to. And in a sense, I think that comes naturally. I don't think that any powerful words could tell somebody how to not get low. You have to feel that low in order to know you don't want to get that way again. Don't be scared of it. Yeah, good. And maybe that low will

actually motivate you, you know, or make you feel some behavior. Yeah. And what do you mean by don't get scared of it? Because I think that's really powerful. Oh, my dad used to always tell me that you can't fear. He said fear is like the biggest thing in life you have to avoid because if you're scared of something, then it has to pull over you. said so fear and if you fear low then it has control over you that low means that it will it will be the finding moment in your career which you can't allow it to be so you can't be scared to fail as they say and at the same time my dad always talks to me about receiving he said you can't be scared to succeed also and that sounds really kind of dumb because you're like well of course no one's scared of succeeding. But actually, people subconsciously are and they don't realize that they will like pull themselves back because they're like scared to get into a certain point. And you have to actively receive like whatever opportunities are coming to you. Just as much as you aren't scared to fail, you can't be scared to succeed and like receive things that are coming to you. And Erin, just to give people some perspective, tell us about an example of a low for you. Like, what does it mean to not get too

high or too low? You know, and maybe tell us about a high. What's been a good day you've had as a singer-songwriter and what's been a tough day? Yeah, I think that there are lows and highs in every single day. And that sounds super bipolar to say, things that every like, you know, I knock on wood, I haven't had any like crazy big defining low. And I don't think many people, I mean, you have big setbacks, I'm sure as like athletes and such, even as you know, songwriters, I had like a node scare where they thought I was on steroids for a little bit to make sure I get my vocal cords back. Like you go through things that are really hard setbacks, but yeah, I think that appreciating the highs when you get them and, you know, acknowledging them, don't just brush those off as much as you do a low,

making sure you acknowledge it, allow yourself to feel like, just to remind yourself, put yourself back into perspective of how this would have made you feel a couple of years ago. And sometimes that's all I have to do for both lows and highs. Just realized that a couple of years ago, this would have made you feel a couple of years ago. And sometimes that's all I have to do for both lows and highs, just realize that a couple of years ago, this would have really upset me, but also I wouldn't have had this opportunity

a couple of years ago. So I'm at a new playing field. The lows feel like they're more low, more extreme, but they don't feel quite as low because I'm at a different level than I was. And I think that's a strategy, Erin, that everybody who's listening can use. Where was I at a few years ago? And I would have's a strategy, Erin, that everybody who's listening can use. You know, where was I at a few years ago?

And I would have been happy and grateful to have the experience that I have right now. The problem. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. The farther you go along, for sure, the more problems you have, but the more you know how to handle them and can accept them. Yeah, that's awesome. And so, Erin, usually what I ask people on the podcast is I always ask them

about, you know, to tell us about a time that they failed and then what they learned from it. And I want to ask you that question because really it's about bouncing back and being resilient despite the failure. So could you tell us about a story of a time that didn't go so great for you? Yeah, I definitely can. I'm trying to think here because I think when I think of failures, it's hard in this industry in particular because it's more so like if you don't get signed or you don't get a particular gig or this or that. So I definitely, I kind of pair them all together

in that over the past couple of years, I've been reached out to by a couple of different labels and maybe it just wasn't the right fit or this or that. And I hate to bring religion into something that not everyone maybe goes into it. I truly believe it just wasn't meant for me. And maybe that means that God didn't have it meant for me in my path or whatever it may be. The universe didn't have it in my path. Then that's kind of how I accept it. And I think that's been the biggest,

those are the biggest lows or, you know, like maybe there's a potential signing, but it doesn't end up happening. And yeah, I don't know just knowing it wasn't meant for me and that something more is coming yeah so really having an optimistic perspective that like the best is yet to come and and that's okay that you know that was that was meant to happen I like what you said about the universe you know that you know for people yeah religious you know that it's like you know it's people who are religious, you know, that it's like, you know, it's just, it's not meant for me right now, but there are better coming for me. Absolutely. And believing that, like, it's so easy to say, and I can sit here and preach it all

day, but if you don't truly believe it, then you don't have the inner peace yourself. So it's like, you have to just believe that whatever's coming was meant to come. And my dad always says too, like, it's protecting. If something really big like happens and I lose it, I, you know, I don't maybe get to did the role or I don't get to signing, whatever it may be. He says that I'm being protected. He's like, I promise you, there's a reason why like this, you're being protected from something, even though it looked gold plated, you know, it looks everything I could have ever wanted. He says, you're being protected from something. You're not going to ever know what it was,

but just accept that that's the reason why. Just have peace in that. Yeah. Nice. I love that. I think that's a really positive way to respond to, you're right. We might see it as like gold and this is like a golden opportunity, but there's just having peace that they didn't work out for a reason. Yeah. So Erin, one of the things I think about is I put myself in your shoes and I think about all of the actors and actresses that you've met, the musicians that you've met and you've performed with. Tell us about how do you see that the best kind of mentally prepare?

Well, I guess I'll use acting as an example now because it's funny. Music was something that I feel so second nature to me. I've been working professionally in it for about five years. You know, I've seen some really big highs and I've seen some lows and it comes to stages and such and big venues and little venues and, you know, the best crowds and the worst crowds. So I feel pretty veteranized in that aspect. But acting was something that I did not feel veteran nice at all and I was so scared the opportunity actually came to me what the director of this particular movie had been following me and knew of my music I had previously like released a song in a film and he had already been

like familiar with my stuff so he reached out to me and this is very is not how this usually goes by the way this is very much out of the realm of the acting world this is a once in a lifetime type thing he reached out to me and said I can get you an audition he said I can't make you any promises but I can get you an audition I can put you in front of casting directors you fit the lead for this movie that they're filming in Thailand in February he's like I know you're not an actress but you like the character is very similar to what I've seen of you in general. Wow. And I was like, okay. Immediately I, you know, shamefully admit that my mindset was like, Oh no, no, no, no. I'm not about to walk into,

you know, a bunch of seasoned actors and like put my, put it up there, you know? But I, it was one of those things at the beginning of the year, it was like literally a text I got on January 1st, 2019 this past year. And I was I was like oh my gosh like if that's not a way to start off a year like I don't know what is I knew I had to at least chase the opportunity so I got the script and I was immediately I mean I was hesitant because it was huge I was like no one can remember this I don't know how they memorize all these lines and such but I just did my audition and about two weeks later I got the part and I was like oh no like that was like he was maybe even more nervous I was like oh no what am I going to do now I'm committed so I kind of just took it in strides you know just my mindset was that like obviously the same

thing like the universe brought me this opportunity I have to actively receive I don't know if this could be the catalyst that you know catapults towards my music career launches that like you don't know like what can help especially in the entertainment industry everything goes hand in hand you can't turn down in like any opportunities so yeah I took the opportunity I you know I did the whole movie and it was incredible it was one of those things I felt so comfortable doing I loved it I learned a lot in that month that I lived there it was a little bit hard because it was one of those things I felt so comfortable doing I loved it I learned a lot in that month that I lived there it was a little bit hard because it was the middle of nowhere in Thailand so I kind of felt like I was away from civilization for a while I had to take you know a month away

from my own music because I didn't you know couldn't work on that we were busy from 6 a.m until 8 p.m at night but yeah actually then, I've gotten some crazy opportunities just in acting after that movie was, I guess, announced. So I guess, you know, time will tell. But it's definitely been cool just to keep that mindset going through it and seeing like where it's bringing me now. Yeah. And I'm hearing that you've been really open to these experiences and just like open to what can happen afterwards. And tell us about what does it mean to you? You said like actively receive, what does that mean to you? Like how do you actually do that?

Yeah. Well, I think in particular in musicians and such, like we have such a weird like obsession with we have to be a musician. Like we're not a true musician if we accept all the opportunities. Like the biggest thing right now is influencing so like as an artist like if you hear like oh you're an influencer you like cringe you're like no like I'm a true artist and you like get

so upset but I had to like kind of let go of all of that I had to let go of like being an actress does not mean I'm not a true artist you know like whatever it whatever I'm doing in my life like it doesn't take away from what my goal is you know of course if I'm doing things my life, it doesn't take away from what my goal is. Of course, if I'm doing things that are not proactive and not productive in the slightest,

that's taking away. But anything like you're learning a new skill or you're putting yourself out there and you're getting out of your comfort zone is helping you in more ways than you realize. So yeah, I think that that was big. It's just understanding that you don't know what could come and every opportunity is an opportunity to better you and learn something new. Nice. Sounds like a growth mindset. I don't know if you've ever read that book or heard about it, the concept of Carol Dweck, but it's really like, you know, that you're, I'm hearing you're just always growing and learning and looking for opportunities. Yeah, I guess that's all we can do. And I think that's with

anything in life, like not even just entertainment industry, like anything that comes your way, if it is an opportunity that's going to benefit you in some way, like you absolutely should take it or benefit somebody else. I think that service is also important in general. I think that aligns you better than anything can. Any self-serving thing is not going to align you as well as if you serve others in some capacity. Yeah. So do you feel like that when you're really performing at your best, like let's say as a musician, tell us a little bit about what that feels like and looks like to you when you're really, maybe just take us back to like a performance where you just crushed it. Tell us about that. Yeah. Well, that's hard because people, your crowd

determines how you feel. And that's why I don't think people realize how important it is, like live shows and such, that if I'm in a crowd and it doesn't matter how big it is, you know, I've performed in front of like thousands and thousands of people and I performed in front of a room of, you know, 50. So it doesn't matter how big your crowd is but it depends on their attitude and I always say that like with your as an artist like you are giving those live performances your energy that you're putting out there is energizing the crowd and if they aren't giving it back to you you know like and vice versa it goes both ways they're not giving it back to you then it's very hard to continue and power through a show I guess like my favorite shows have always been the ones where people are just, they're there to let loose, you know, like enjoy

themselves and listen to your music and listen to what you have to say and what you have to sing and the lyrics that you've put hours into writing, you know, hours in the studio, hours into producing, like, it's just, it's cool when people receive it. But that's out of your control, you know, so you kind of just have to have your own mindset of that no matter what happens in that crowd tonight, whether they're on their A game or not, I have to give my very best self to them because they've paid money to be here. And whether they receive it well or not, I have to give my best. So and how do you mentally prepare for that? Like, you know, take us to maybe like an hour before your performance what are you thinking about you know where how do you get in that space to really give to the crowd yeah um it's funny I think most people tend to like

distance themselves like where they like to be alone for a little bit and I will take like you know my 15 minutes just sitting there being alone but I've always been pretty guilty of um like facetiming I like to like facetime like somebody I'm close to before I go on because it kind of gets my head out of it and you know it's not focusing too much on your like you have to stay focused but I think that not obsessing over perfection is so important in any career you're chasing like because it's never going to be perfect because things because even if you are perfect in what you do in your performance it does not mean that everything else is going to align perfectly.

Like you cannot control anything outside of yourself. So you can't expect perfection. All you can do is just, you know, do your very best and like hope for it, but you can't obsess over perfection. Yeah. And I like what you said about sometimes maybe if you're thinking about your

performance too much, you could overthink it, you know, instead of just being with the audience. And I do a lot of speaking, Erin. And so I think about like my best performances ever as a speaker, right? And you're entertaining. I mean, not the same way as you do, but it's like definitely the crowd that, you know, the audience is with me, how I show up to that space. Like if I'm pumped to be there and if I'm really thinking about them and you know, if my focus is on them instead of me, like I can sometimes, especially when I started,

I got kind of got in my own head and it's like, what are they going to think about me? Are they going to like me? Or are they going to like what I'm saying today? When really, when I focus more on them, that helps me maybe let loose and be more comfortable. Do you find something similar for you? Absolutely, Cintra. I think my parents always told me growing up that the only true path to happiness is losing yourself in the service of others. And I think that kind of is aligned with what you're saying is like, yeah, I could sit here and preach all day long what I want to preach and talk about.

But in reality, it's like you said, there's somebody in that crowd that needs it more than you do you know like what I'm going to get what's going to satisfy me you know personal like when I'm singing like okay I want to perform the song and I want the crowd to love it but this song might be more to person in the back who's gone through the exact circumstance I'm singing about than it does that it's received well for me. Like you're saying, somebody in a crowd might need it more than you. And if you can keep that mindset, you tend to do better. Yeah. And I see the musicians that I really connect with, if it's even in face-to-face or if it's on TV, it's like they are connected to the audience, right? I like what you said about service. So tell us about

how does service impact your mentality? Oh, man, it puts me into perspective more than anything. We did a bunch of children's hospitals a while back, like I did with my management. And I remember at first, like, you know, from the outside, it looks like, oh, so sweet. You know, like you're going in there and you're singing to the kids that are sick. Like, yeah, of course, it really cool like do people do that but I had a really hard time with it because it was like I felt a little bit like it was uh like it was posed like very much like I was going in there you know and like okay like now smile for the picture these kids are like they're dying they don't feel well

you know they just feel so sick and they have to like smile to these pictures and stuff and it felt kind of like icky you know it rubs me the wrong way where I felt like this wasn't right and I ended up getting close with one of the families after I'd gone into one of these particular visits and the mindset like I got to see more than just the you know the 10 minutes I spent in each room like I got to see the ins and outs and I got to know this kid and like I got to see him on his bad days and his good days and like it threw me into perspective to the max, what these people go through and like how lucky we are to live, not only the life of living, doing what we love,

but more so just like being healthy and like being able to live the life we want to do, you know? Absolutely. Perspective absolutely is the most important, I think. Yeah. And I, even what you were saying about failure and when things don't go perfectly for you, like having perspective and even seeing like, I'm being protected right now.

Like you can always look at the bad, you know, and what I'm hearing is like being really grateful for the opportunities that you have. Oh yeah. I mean, just grateful for every single day that you're, I mean, because the kids, again, their mindset through like taught me so much. It was crazy because like these kids are getting, these kids are the kids again their mindset through like taught me so much it was crazy because like these kids are getting these kids are the ones getting their parents through this the kids that are sick with leukemia are the exact kids that are getting their parents through it it's harder like for the parents to get the mindset of like this is going to be okay we're going to get through

it although they're saying it to the kids like often it's the the actual child that's going through it that's powering their parents through it and their family. And I thought that that was like incredible to see. Yeah, that's awesome. Well, Erin, one thing I'm hearing is just like this really healthy mindset that you've developed. I'm hearing maybe your dad was the person who has most contributed to that. Would you agree with that? My mom and dad, yeah, those two have, yeah, they definitely, I cannot say enough good things about them. So they definitely kept me on a good straight and narrow path when it came to mindset.

And they both are just so positive. And yeah, I'm very thankful that I came from that kind of mindset. And I know that when I have a family, I want to be as positive as possible because you're only here for so long. Can't dwell on negativity because I think that energy you attract when you start dwelling on things. For sure. So thinking about, you know, so many of the people who listen to the podcast are parents. So what advice would you give to them, you know, in terms of obviously, your parents played a really important role in developing your mindset, and you're going to continue to be successful, you know, in singing,

songwriting and acting because of this mindset. so what do you think has been the most impactful thing you know what what advice would you tell other people you know when you think about that most impactful thing to encourage with their son or daughter well I will say I'm not naive to the fact that I know that you know not not every parent is perfect and not my parents aren't perfect either no one's perfect but you know I've been particularly lucky to be blessed with parents that I've had, but I know that there are people out there that have to be that for themselves, you know, like, and I admire those people tremendously, the people that developed these like mindsets in themselves, the circumstances they came from and like they were able to develop it. And so I guess

my advice would be that if you don't have that, like if you can't look around and you don't, you can't pinpoint somebody in your life that has a mindset that you wish to feed off of, then be that person. Like there's a reason why, and like it's never too early to start. You know, I don't know where it started with my own family, but I know that somebody in both my parents' lives had that positive mindset. And if they didn't, somebody developed it. Whether my parents did or, you know, there's, you can start right with yourself. And I think that, I don't know, it's contagious. Yeah. So the advice maybe is like to remember that your energy, positive or negative as a parent is contagious, right? And I like what you said is like, sometimes we parent or lead based on what we've seen other people do. But I hear what you're

saying is like, you know, making sure you're the person to either stop the cycle of negativity or you're the one that's like bringing the positive perspective. Is there a particular advice that they gave you that's been really impactful in terms of developing your mindset? Absolutely. They always told me that you attract what you think of, what you focus on. So if I'm constantly scared, then I'm going to screw up a note when I'm singing. Like national anthems are one that always got me.

I was always scared to do national anthems because everyone's so focused on what you're doing. A lot of them are televised. It's such an important moment of the day, like national anthem. And I was always so focused on it. And if I obsessed over it, you're going to mess it up. And that's what my dad would always say, like, and my mom too, that if you obsess over failing,

you just think about it all the time. Like, or you fear of everything that could go wrong. He's like, you're basically, you're making it happen. My dad, this is overall in life. He always told us to practice magic. And I remember as a kid, I always thought that was kind of funny that he said that. Because when you think of magic, you think of like witches and wizards and Harry Potter and like all these things, right? But he told me that magic was really very simple.

And he said that everyone can make it and there's three steps to it. He said that magic starts with an idea in your head. You think about something that you want out of life. And he said, the second step is a word. You have to put that thought into words. He said, actually speak it. And you can't say like, I will be a singer songwriter. He would say like, I remember I was eight years old. He'd say, I am a singer songwriter. So I'd start saying that at eight years old. I am a singer songwriter, even though I wasn't yet. I still was like that was going that was that was happening. He said I was creating magic. And then he said after that, you know,

the word and the thought it becomes a reality, just believing it every single day and acting as if you already are that he said, that's what true magic is. And I think that that was the most important advice I ever learned in life. Wow, that's powerful. So I like the idea of practicing magic. The three steps he said was like, start with an idea. So does that mean like start with an idea of what you want? Or what did he mean? Yes, he said you have a clear idea in your head, like, just know what you're looking for. Like know what you want, know what you want to create. And he said, you have to put a word to it. You can't just sit there and think about it. So for me, I knew I love to perform. I love to write my songs, get my emotions out that way. And I love to sing. Okay. I want to be an artist, you know, like singer, songwriter,

and artist, recording artist. So that was the word that I placed on it. And so I remember, I remember I wrote a whole article, like trying to impress my dad as a kid. And I wrote like, I will be like an underlined will be you know like all important I will be a recording artist one day period I will be successful period and he made me erase it all he said no he said that's not the mindset you are everything that you say you are so like I am successful and every single day if you're sitting there living paycheck to paycheck I encourage everyone to go look in the mirror and say, I am successful. I am wealthy. I am happy. I am this or that. And after like, it's insane, the law of attraction, like what comes. And I think that is what he meant by magic.

Yeah, that's awesome. And when you think about your parents giving you this advice, because as a parent, I have two boys and sometimes I'm like, are they listening? I don't know. Some mindset principles, right? But was it times where they kind of gave you this feedback? Was it just like, you know, a time where you failed? Or was it just conversations around the dinner table? You know, like, when did these conversations happen for you? I think it was definitely every day. It was small. Like, they say that it takes, what, like 30 definitely every day. It was, it was small. Like they say that it takes what, like 30 days or something to make a habit. And I think that it was, it was never a big, like, all right, Aaron, now that you're 14, we're gonna have a big talk about succeeding. You know, it wasn't anything like that. Like it was every single day I watched my parents and I saw how

they lived their life. Um, my mom was always big on like, she never gossiped. Like she wasn't a gossip girl. She never like brought that kind of stuff home. Like she never talked about others. I love this quote. I can't remember what it was. It is kind of like, oh, it talks about how like not, you know, not very intelligent people talk about other people. And then the level up of like kind of intelligent people talk about events that are happening, you know, like around, but then really intelligent people are people that create, you know, like that they don't have time to talk about other people and they don't really have time to talk about and discuss events that are happening. They are creating what's going to happen in the future. And I thought that was so cool to like focus on that.

And for sure, as a kid, my parents were so aligned with that. Just like we were not focused on what other people were doing. We were focused on like what brought us happiness, how the energy was in our home. I'm a big karma girl. I think that, you know, what you're putting out there is what you're getting back. And it might not be overnight, but you know, you might as well start today because every single day that you practice that, I think that it gets better and better. You're creating a better future for yourself. Awesome. Awesome. Erin. So when I think about, you know, you've already had so much

success already, but I know you have some goals you're working towards. So for you, what's going to be really important in terms of, you know, maintaining this healthy and productive mindset? What does that mean for you? And what do you need to do to do that? Yeah, so I think anything like it's definitely it's a marathon, not a race, you know, in the sense of every single day waking up with that mindset. Some days are way harder than others. some days you're like oh wow the sun is shining and I'm in the best mood and I just got you know a really big gig and this or that but I think going forward just I always picture myself like a horse with the blinders on you know like keeping the blinders like you know your goal and focusing on it and

don't let anything from the outside world deter you from that goal like keep your blinders on because you know there are always going to be people that are trying to get you out of your lane. And I think it's the only thing they have to offer. And you can't hate them because that means you're scared of them. You can't have any thoughts towards those people. You have to almost ignore them as if they're not there. Because any energy you give them, whether it's you despise them or you're scared of them or you're upset with them, whatever you give them, you're giving them more power. So I think just keeping true to yourself, knowing what

you want, and then just focusing on that goal with no distraction. Yeah, that's great. So tell us about what's the goal that you're going after. And I think just by saying it out loud is what you've been talking about, like this law of attraction and putting out there what you want. So tell us what's a big goal that you're going after. Okay, so right now I am going to release an EP. I am releasing an EP that's going to have all songs that are kind of just, it's a different whole genre for me. It's very true to myself.

It's things I've written for the past five years I've been too scared to put out because I just didn't feel they were, they didn't fit into any particular genre. So staying true to myself in that, releasing. And I think that's the next step is just releasing a bunch of things I'm true to, I truly love and I believe in. Whether anybody in the management tells me that it's going to be successful or not, I'm not going to be chasing numbers anymore. I'm chasing what I truly believe in. And then, yeah, in any capacity that I do,

music or whatever in the entertainment, if it's an acting role, just believing that it was meant for me and kind of receiving. Well, and that takes a lot of courage to go with what you want instead of what other people are telling you to do. So I can't thank you for doing that. I know you have a single called Any Other Heart.

So tell us about that and where we can listen to that. Yeah, so Any Other Heart is a song, you know, it's pretty self-explanatory. It was just talking about, you know, true love, that feeling of being in love. And like, there's nowhere else you want to be. That's the person you want to be with, you know. And I think that love is so powerful and so beautiful. It's one of the most important things we have on this earth. And not just romantically, but just in general.

You know, love for other people, love for yourself, love for every day that you're here. And I think that that's so important. So any other heart is definitely, you know, aligned with that. Okay, awesome. And we can listen to it anywhere, right? Spotify, where else? Yeah, Spotify, iTunes, any. We have a music video out for it on YouTube.

And yeah, it's been out for about a year. So I, you know, I've really enjoyed having that out, but I'm definitely excited to get my new stuff out and that'll be coming soon. So stay tuned for that. That's awesome. And you have a clothing line coming out in October. Yeah, I'm so excited.

So yeah, next month we are, I've collaborated with somebody I'm very close with. And, you know, I've worked with a bunch of different brands over the past couple years and just I've loved fashion since I was like little girl I've always enjoyed it so I've always you know had a goal of having my own you know things I pick out you know like my own little collection so we're launching the Erin Alvey Stella collection the company's called Stella and it's very much like the I wear a lot of like all black clothing for a lot of time you know I try and match black with black and athleisure and, you know, really fun, you know, sneakers and such.

So there's pieces that I knew that I've craved in my own wardrobe. So I'm excited to finally be able to release them and maybe other people feel the same way. So I'm excited to get those out there. That's awesome. And where can we follow along with what you're doing? I know you're on Instagram and love what you're doing there, but where else can we follow you? Yeah. So I'm on all media for the most part. I have the Twitter, the Facebook and Instagram,

but, and I have a website that's ErinAlvey.com, but Erin Alvey, my Instagram is definitely where I'm most active. I think it's, you know, it's become such a monster in the social media world. So I felt that's where I post the most, but I'm definitely on any social media for the most part. Awesome. Except for TikTok. I'm not on that yet. I felt that's where I I post the most but I'm definitely on any social medias for the most part awesome except for TikTok I'm not on that yet I know that's new oh I don't even know what that is so thanks for that oh man on that yeah your boys will probably know a lot about it my little brother is telling me about it I was like uh at what age am I too old to start joining these things yeah yeah it's a monster I think it's taken over. So be aware. We'll be doing interviews on TikTok next year. Yeah, maybe.

Well, Erin, I'm incredibly grateful for your wisdom. You know, I was blown away with kind of all the things that you gave us to really consider. And at the end, I always try to give a summary of what I got from you. And I like what you said about is not getting too high or too low. And that really helps you deal with the adversity and setbacks. And then you talked about, you know, asking yourself when you are experiencing adversity or difficulty, like just taking, reframing it and realizing that, you know, you're being protected from something. I thought that was really powerful. And then I liked what you talked about related to magic and, you know, first being clear with the idea of what you want and then speaking

it with a word like I am. You gave the example of what your dad mentioned and then remembering that kind of you need to act as if and that you're, you know, you are everything that you think that you are. And so I'm grateful for just what you talked about related to actively receiving and also being in service of others. So I'm grateful for the time that you spent with us today and thanks for sharing your wisdom and your really productive, healthy mindset. So thank you so much. Thank you for having me, Cynthia. I'm really excited to have your podcast on the top of my list. I can't wait to hear everybody else's stories and I think it's awesome what you're doing and I really appreciate you having me on here. I've been so honored to be a part.

Thank you, Erin. Thank you for listening to High Performance Mindset. If you like today's podcast, make a comment, share it with a friend, and join the conversation on Twitter at Mentally Underscore Strong. For more inspiration and to receive Sindra's free weekly videos,

check out DrSindra.com.