High Performance Mindset | Learn from World-Class Leaders, Consultants, Athletes & Coaches about Mindset - 282: How to Detach Yourself from the Outcome

Episode Date: October 9, 2019

“Just keep in mind: the more we value things outside our control, the less control we have.” Epictetus High performers detach themselves from the outcome. They dominate their process or their how each day and week, and TRUST the outcome will take care of itself.   Power Phrase this Week: “I attack the process it takes for me to reach my highest potential. I let go of the outcome or result and keep my focused on my how each day.”

Welcome to High Performance Mindset with Dr. Sindra Kampoff. Do you want to reach your full potential, live a life of passion, go after your dreams? Each week we bring you strategies and interviews to help you ignite your mindset. Let's bring on Syndra. Dr. Syndra Kampoff joins us today for High Performance Mindset on The Country Club. Good morning, Syndra.

Good morning. It's awesome to be here. Great to have you in. Your Maverick football squad looked pretty solid on Saturday against UMD. It was just a whoopin'.

I don't think anybody except for probably that football team expected that outcome. That was fantastic. It was fun to see. 52-7, the final. Mavericks win over the only other undefeated team in the NSIC. And now there is one. Alright, so today

we're talking about, I love this topic and I've been thinking about it all morning since you sent a kind of a little preview of what we'd be talking about. How to detach yourself from the outcome is the topic today. This is a good one. Listen close everybody. And especially those young ones in sports and those going off to work and working on projects and business. We're going to get into all of that. Let's start with a quote today. This is a quote by Epic Titus. He said, just keep in mind that the more we value things outside our control, the less control we have. All right. So let's start with an example today. What's your example?

So this week I was going to speak to a team that I work with and one of the coaches pulled me aside and he said, Sindra, I have brain cancer. I was like, wow. I was completely shocked that he said that. And he said, you know, during my treatment, I keep reminding myself of CTC. And that stands for control the controllable, something we've talked to the team a lot about.

He said, you know, I can't control that I have cancer, but I can control how I react to it. And he was giving me this story about how the nurse said that he had to put something on his face, like for chemotherapy treatment. And the nurse said it was going to be really uncomfortable. And he said, no problem, CTC. And the nurse was like, what do you mean?

What does that stand for? Starts writing it down and says, you know, all cancer patients should have this curriculum because it's so powerful. Right. And I think this story is really about detaching yourself from the outcome. He can't control that he has cancer at this point, but he can control how he's really dominating his attitude and his process day to day. Process is the word I was going to bring up. So this is a practice in your book, Beyond Grit. Why is this topic important? When we focus on the outcome, we tend to focus on the future and the what ifs. And we're not present. We're not focused on the

process. We're not focused on what helps us be at our best day-to-day or play after play. And especially when we attach ourselves to the outcome, we're giving our power away to external forces or circumstances, things that we can't control. So if you have a hard time with kind of letting things go or accepting the way things kind of unfold or judging yourself when you don't reach a goal. I think this topic is really important today. And I mentioned that, you know, this is valuable in sports. It's valuable in business and in life. And we're going to break that down.

What are some examples in those areas? So in sport, what I see is when people are so focused on the score or the outcome of the game or the season that they judge themselves when they lost or when they lose or when they make a mistake. And they're really in a bad mood. In business, I see when people attach themselves to the outcome, you know, they don't close a sale or have a tough day or presentation and they beat themselves up for it. In life, we get so wrapped up on, you know, like attaching ourselves to a goal or a dream.

And if we don't achieve it, you know, at first we can get really frustrated to give up. And even if we're taking the steps to get to that goal or dream. Well, Cinder, how do we know that if we ourselves are attached to the outcome? I think you would know if you judge yourself, things don't go your way. Or if you're noticing yourself like seeking approval for someone else or, you know, if the outcome isn't what you wanted, you can define yourself by the numbers in your business. Or if you didn't swim or run or get the stat that you wanted. So you might experience jealousy or sadness.

And what's important is that we still need to know where we want to go. It doesn't mean that you don't have goals and dreams. But the key is you've got to stay focused on how. How to focused on how to be at your best instead of the outcome so much and really attaching yourself to that outcome in terms of your identity. So what do we do instead? The key is really to evaluate how things went by the process and how you did. Did you reach the benchmarks that you needed to achieve your goals this week in your business? Or did you, you know, give your best every day at practice this week so you could dominate on Friday or Saturday? And that's what's really important is that, you know, we detach ourselves from the outcome, stay more focused on the process to really stay excited and passionate

about what we're doing. So what's your final message for us? Okay, my final message is this, keep working hard, show up and do the My final message is this. Keep working hard, show up and do the work to achieve your goals and, you know, keep on creating what you need to and focus on how to be at your best. And then the key is to really let go of the outcome and put your heart and soul into your process and don't let the outcome become your identity. All right. This is a, this is a good one. And I think there's a lot of people out there. I was thinking earlier this morning About Mankato Marathon weekend coming up We've got a big weekend coming up

On the 19th of the marathon And a lot of people have been training really hard And I've seen a lot of people on social media 20 miles today It's hard to wrap your brain around getting up in the morning And running 20 miles But when you achieve that 20 mile mark In a training run

And you're excited about it, that's a sign of enjoying the process. Yes. You don't really have any idea what the 19th is going to bring when you hit the starting line and hopefully eventually make it to the finish line. And you don't have any idea what your marathon is going to look like. Right. You got to trust.

Trust that you've prepared. Yep. But if you can enjoy what it took, those 18, 19, 20 weeks or whatever it was that it took you to get to the starting line and then just enjoy the race itself, that's enjoying the process along the way. But not always is the race the cherry on top. Sometimes that doesn't go the way you want it to and you have to detach yourself from that. I think that's what we're trying to get at today. Absolutely. I mean, that's an athletic sort of way of looking at it,

but you can transfer that over to business and a lot of other things. Let's summarize today on this topic. High performers detach themselves from the outcome. They dominate their process or their how each day, each week, and they trust the outcome will take care of itself. Excellent. And our power phrase? I attack the process. It takes for me to reach my highest potential.

I let go of the outcome or result and keep my focus on my day-to-day. That's awesome. All right. So if we want to learn more and get in touch with you, grab the book or listen to any podcasts, anything Syndra Kampoff related, how do we get in touch? You can head over to Dr. Syndra, so D-R-c-i-n-d-r-a and find everything there all right stop in and check out the website drcindra.com and the podcasts are excellent as well and we always throw these up on there too i know that we'll send them off to you and you'll

put them up there so if you're ever listening to one and thinking so and so would love to hear this they can dial that up on cindra's podcast and hear what we talked about here on monday mornings thanks cindra thank you for having me thank you for listening to high performance mindset if you like today's podcast make a comment share it with a friend and join the conversation on twitter at mentally underscore strong for more inspiration and to receive cindra's free weekly videos check out