High Performance Mindset | Learn from World-Class Leaders, Consultants, Athletes & Coaches about Mindset - 316: Managing Your Energy & Focus with BJ Hellyer, Fortune 100 Company Executive

Episode Date: March 7, 2020

BJ Hellyer has over 22 years of experience in the financial industry. He started as an intern, spent 10 years as Chief Development Officer, and is now Managing Partner. He received his degree from Drake University in Bank Management and Investments. He is an experienced leader in business planning, developing talent and entrepreneurship. BJ believes that “leaders are readers” and that “we become the average of what the most influential people expect of us.” In this podcast, BJ and Cindra talk about: Similarities between the mindset of financial advising and sports Ways to become a master of your morning What he means by Return on Energy and Return on Relationships Strategies to master your calendar and focus on high value activities Ways to lead yourself What culture is to him and how he works to build his culture You can find more about BJ here.

Hey, my name is Cindra Campoff and I'm a small-town Minnesota gal, Minnesota nice as we like to say it, who followed her big dreams. I spent the last four years working as a mental coach for the Minnesota Vikings, working one-on-one with the players. I wrote a best-selling book about the mindset of the world's best and I'm a keynote speaker and national leader in the field of sport and performance psychology. And I am obsessed with showing you exactly how to develop the mindset of the world's best so you can accomplish all your goals and dreams. So I'm over here following my big dreams and I'm here to inspire you and practically show you how to do the same. And you know, when I'm not working, you'll find me playing Ms. Pac-Man.

Yes, the 1980s game Ms. Pac-Man. So take your notepad out, buckle up, and let's go. This is the high performance mindset. You know, I heard somebody say one time that the definition of fulfillment is where joy and hunger intersect. And I thought that was awesome, Sandra. You know, it was one of those, Hey,

listen, I know I'm fulfilled when I'm content with where I am, but I'm hungry to do more for others, to serve more, to be more, to give more, to grow more, more, because I'm capable of more. Welcome to the High Performance Mindset Podcast. This is your host, Dr. Cinder Kampoff,

and welcome to 316. I'm excited that you're listening to this episode with BJ Hellyer. I've been working on getting BJ on the podcast for several years now and I'm really excited to provide you with this interview. If you are an entrepreneur and if you're a leader, this is a must listen to interview because BJ really has over 22 years of experience leading and managing other people and he gives some really tangible nuggets to help you elevate your mindset. So let me describe a little bit more about BJ and what we talk about in this interview. He has 22 years of experience in the financial industry where he started as an intern and spent 10 years as chief development officer and is now managing partner.

He received his degree from Drake University in bank management and investments. He's also an experienced leader in business planning, developing talent, and entrepreneurship. BJ believes that leaders are readers and that we become the average of what the most influential people expect out of us. That's just a few of the golden nuggets in this interview. So BJ and I talk about several different things in this interview. We talk about the similarities between the mindset of financial advising and sports, which I love that topic. We talk about ways to become a master of your morning, what he means by return on energy and return on relationships, strategies to manage your calendar, and how to focus on high value

activities. We also talk about ways to lead yourself and what culture is to him and how he works to build his culture. My favorite part of this interview is when he talks about fulfillment and how fulfillment is when joy and hunger intersect and the importance of both joy and hunger in leadership and entrepreneurship. If you enjoyed this podcast, please head over wherever you're listening and give us a five-star rating and review. This helps us get better and better guests on the podcast. And I'm excited about the guests

that we have scheduled coming up in the next several months. So please go over wherever you're listening, leave us a rating and review. We'd be so grateful for that. And without further ado, here is BJ. BJ, thank you so much for being on the show. I have been looking forward to this day.

I think we've been trying to do this for like a year and a half, haven't we? Yeah, it's been a long time. Well, I am pumped. We know each other for quite a few years. I was trying to think yesterday, like how many years and when is the first time I talked to your team, but I did some work with your team, several presentations, keynotes, and then we're working with some of your executive team coaching. So how many years do you think it's been? Boy, I don't know. I was thinking about that too. I would say it'd

been probably six or seven years ago, possibly, of our network days and came in and spoke to our team for a couple hours on two or three of your grit principles that you wrote about in your book. And then with that, the feedback was good. We brought you back. And you're an ad hoc member of our faculty, as we talked about yesterday. That's awesome. Love it. So, BJ, for those people who aren't familiar with you, tell us a little bit about your passion and what you do right now. Yeah, you know, I love just the people development process. My purpose is to grow principle-centered leaders and principle-centered leaders are action oriented and they do the right thing every time. And, you know, I was blessed to have great people in my life who expected me to be great or do great things. And it was fun living into what they believed I could do. It was challenging

and yet rewarding. And, you know, it just, it was kind of my, my, my purpose now to pay it forward and to really be a leader that sees things in others before they see it in themselves and, you know, help them with a reminder that success leaves clues and that wherever they see it in themselves and, you know, help them with a reminder that success leaves clues and that wherever they are, wherever they've been successful, they can do it again and again and again and again. And that leader development process is just, you give me so much joy. Yeah, that's wonderful. And I think about, you know, the company you're at right now, you started as an intern and now managing partner.

So, you know, just tell us a bit about that journey from intern to managing partner. Well, it looks, you know, like a straight line up the hill for 24 years. And the fact of the matter is that it was anything but a straight line up the hill and it was bumpy. It was choppy. It was a struggle. There were times where I wanted to quit just like everybody else's journey to anything worthwhile. You know, you're going to go through those bumps and bruises, but, but I was blessed, you know, to, to have the internship, you know,

I kind of felt like the internship was like a red shirt freshman year where I had a chance to learn a bunch of things, learn the game speed, you know, without a lot of risk. And so, you know, I was blessed to get off to a fast start. And, yeah, I had opportunities to move across the country. I had met some great people. And, you know, I was an advisor for a long time. I was a player coach for a long time and then had an opportunity to come to Minnesota to just use my skills in attracting and developing people and developing talent, leaders and

teams for the last 10 to 12 years before I was appointed managing partner, had a chance to succeed my mentor and Hall of Fame managing partner, Tim Bohannon. And it's been one of the joys of my life is being the ninth steward of this firm and, you know, maximizing his legacy. Yeah, wonderful. So BJ, think about just the financial industry in general and how so much of my like mindset is so important in terms of advising or just working in the financial industry so what do you think that the best do differently like those who stay in it for the long term what do you think they do in terms of a mindset perspective well yeah I mean it's probably similar to sport and yeah i mean you know that that's why 45 of

our firm or former collegiate athletes is just because a lot of the mindsets and a lot of the principles are the same and when you're done playing to be able to surround yourself with like-minded like values people competitive people environment, iron sharpening iron, what's possible when we go after something together. I'll do my job, you do your job, and together we're better has been a lot of fun and really rewarding. I think the thing that separates the best is the unwavering commitment to their purpose. Okay. And, you know, why they're doing it. And, you know, when you go back to sport, you know,

I asked a lot of people questions when they're exploring this career opportunity, you know, that played for three or four years, like why didn't you quit? And it was a, I just couldn't quit or I couldn't do it for my teammates or I wouldn't couldn't let other people down or I wanted to have no regrets I mean so many of those things are really the same really for the rest of your life and so that's what makes uh that's what makes this a lot of fun is again reconnecting back to why they were successful at whatever it was.

It could have been sport. It could have been an extracurricular activity. It could have been school. It could have been another job. It's literally the same most of the time. They worked really hard. They had a great attitude. They had great mentors.

They surrounded themselves with great people. But they just literally wouldn't quit. And they wouldn't quit on themselves and other people. Yeah, that's good. I like the idea of like, just not quitting, staying gritty, right? BJ, tell me a little bit about like, what do you see that the best do in terms of, okay, so they, they know their purpose. They know why they're doing it. Is there a common why? Well, I mean, the easy thing to say would they like to help people, but I think it's deeper than that. I think it's the longer you're here, the depth of the, really matters. You know, my, my, uh, my mom's, uh, has a little battle with cancer right now. And she's in her third of five weeks, uh, in radiation treatment at Mayo. And I shot out a text message to other managing partners across the system that are in my peer

group, as well as other top advisors across the system. And I'll bet, you know, as well as our firm, and I'll bet she has prayers in 40 to 50 States and, you know, and, and so that, I mean, and that's me 24 years in, in field leadership, but, you know, and so I have some terrific relationships, but the, the depth of the relationships, the advisors have with their clients, you know, they're, they're a top three to five person in their lives. You know, they're helping them make every financial decision. You know, they're helping them decide, you know, can they buy cars? Can they buy homes? Can they retire with dignity? Can they educate their children? You know, they're coordinating with accountants and attorneys. I mean, they're just, you know, they're an integral part of people's lives. And so the longer that you're here, the more you

appreciate it, you know, getting started, you know, it's like being a true freshman and you're just trying to survive, right? You don't know where to eat lunch. You know, you don't know where your classrooms are. And in that's true here too. And there's a learning curve here, but you know, after you get through the learning curve, um, it's just like, they'd be like that at target or 3m or eco lab or any of the fortune 500 companies here in the cities. I mean, everybody's going to go through a learning curve, but the depth of the relationships, I would say is really the most rewarding part. Excellent.

And when you think about, like, what do people struggle with, maybe where they don't stay within financial services or, you know, what are they lacking? Well, I mean, you could say discipline, you know, on just like discipline to the priorities. You know, one of the things that's great, you know, about what we do is, you know, we can come and we can go. And you're an independent business person. And, you know, nobody's really telling you what to do, when to do it, how to do it. And freedom is a great thing if you can handle it. And freedom is not a great thing if you can't handle it and you can't be disciplined enough to do the things you need to do when you're supposed to do

that. And so, you know, I, I, I feel like freedom, you know, the best, you know, really handle freedom and autonomy. Well they set up their environment to create more freedom and autonomy, but they do the things they need to do in shorter periods of time or perverse. And you know, some of the other ones that, you know, struggle a little bit or struggle with consistency, uh, have a hard time, you know, sticking to disciplines and routines and priorities, you know, and really making sure that the urgent doesn't get in the way of the important. And the best I've experienced just really focus on the most important things and set up their environment to make sure that

even with those external distractions, they still get done what they need to get done. Yeah, that's good. I think about how that's very similar in sport. If you're not doing, you know, the thing that really matters, or if you're doing the thing that maybe is like the squirrel, right? Like, oh, this is, this, this is fun instead of what's really difficult. Then you don't last very long in that either. Absolutely. Yeah. I'm working with an executive coach right now. That's really helping me with that and really mastering. We talked about this yesterday, Sindra, but the first 21 minutes of my day, you know, and in the first 21 minutes of, you know, making sure I'm drinking water, but I'm reading my goals, you know, I'm going through my

prayer list and I'm looking at my day and I'm prioritizing my day. And a lot of the neuroscientists would say that when you prioritize your day and you put your goals in your mind that, you know, the purpose of every meeting, distractions are going to be there. You just choose not to see them. And I've experienced that over the last three weeks a lot more by looking at my schedule daily and what's the purpose, what's the purpose, what's the purpose. And I have felt less distracted, but I can't believe I have less distractions or less external things coming at me. I've just set up my environment to see less of them if I'm articulate. Yeah. Wonderful. Well, first of all, I appreciate that you're working with an executive coach. You know,

I just think that just kind of shows you that even the people at the top can continue to grow and learn. So tell us a bit more about the first 21 minutes of the day. Like give us a sense of what you do. And I think this is so important BJ, because I think people don't always realize the importance of starting your morning off in this way and the power of it and the neuroscience behind it. So give us a sense of like what you do and why you have decided to do that in

the first 21 minutes. Well, I, I just, I just tend to, to when i hire people you know but they say advice paid for is advice taken and so uh because i paid to be in the program and i believe uh in robert cooper who's a neuroscientist who did all the research behind all the brain studies that, that your subconscious hasn't completely turned on yet in those first 21 minutes. And all you're doing is priming it and priming it, or your subconscious is on, sorry, but your conscious mind hasn't started rolling yet. And so you're just priming and priming and priming in those first 21 minutes. And so by putting in goals and by, you know, saying, you know,

the prayers or the gratitude early and drinking water and getting my body moving and then looking at my schedule, I mean, that's a new piece that really I've, I've never really done. I've looked at my schedule and just tried to say, okay, be mentally prepared, but I haven't besides the last three weeks, sit down meeting by meeting. What's the purpose? What do I want to get out of it? What do I think they need from me at this time? And that's been really impactful, Cendra. And so that's just the first 21 minutes. You know what I mean? After that, I may exercise four or five times a week. You know, I listened to a podcast this morning as I exercised. I listened to a podcast yesterday, then exercised. I listened to your piece on pressure as a privilege. And so, you know,

that's the ready up. That's me with me. And I believe that I'm the lid of our firm. And so I have to go first. And if I choose to lead and set up my environment to master myself and master the morning, then priorities tend to fall into place because I've led the hardest person first. Yeah. The hardest person, which is yourself. Correct. It has been for 45 years. I'm getting harder. Yeah, isn't it? That's what I think about myself too. Maybe the more I push myself, the harder it is to leave myself. Excellent. So give us a sense of, you know, when you look at

your calendar within that first 21 minutes, and you're kind of saying that you're asking yourself what the purpose is of the meeting. Give us a sense of where you are internally. What are you reflecting on? I'm just thinking maybe for people to actually implement that, they might need a little bit more details of how you might do that. Well, yeah. I mean, one of the concepts that, you know, we, we spend a lot of time on is the ROE concept. It's not return on equity, but return on energy. And, you know, one of our philosophies is when you play in your strength zone, you increase your odds of being successful. And so we spend a lot of time on energy. And so when I look at my calendar and what is the purpose of all the meetings today, I looked at my calendar and there were three purpose of all the meetings. Today, I looked at my calendar and there

were three or four meetings on there and it was like, wow, that does not give me energy. This was not one of them. Okay, thank goodness. There were three or four on there where I was like, well, why is that meeting on there? But it forced me to think like, who else could be in that meeting? Who else could run that meeting? Is that meeting necessary? Is that just something we've done because we've always done it? Could we do that meeting in less time? And so that's one thing I think about. The second thing I think about is, you know, with the meetings regarding leadership or

regarding, you know, talent development or recruiting or attraction. I love those meetings because it's about people development and it's an opportunity to teach. It's an opportunity to share beliefs and philosophies and values. And so, you know, one of our mission statement is aligning actions with values. So it's a lot easier when you're looking at your calendar and you have energy around the meetings and they're aligned with your values and your vision. And when they're not, it's hard to get up for those meetings. Right. Absolutely. I really like the idea of like return on energy and asking yourself like does this give me energy that's one of the things I always ask myself and if it's if not okay then can I how can I do less of that um so I really like the concept to simplify your life you need to eliminate things

and you know not add and in my tendency you know I had a study group meeting last week and then I go on spring break in a couple weeks, and I have a managing partners conference in a couple weeks. And so I'm out and then in a little bit, and then out and then in a little bit. And I just, I feel pressed. And I feel like I got a lot to do in a very little time. And so it just that I'm never operating in my strength zone when I'm trying to do too much in too little. Yeah. Nobody is, I think. Yeah. Right. But, but I, but I believe, and we all trick ourselves into believing, well, we can do it for a short period of time. And the reality is we can, but we're not very effective. I know besides the return on energy, you also have a concept called return on relationships. Tell us about that and how that guides you. Well, I mean, that comes back to my purpose of growing principle-centered leaders and my relationships with the people that I surround myself with in our inner circle and the people we're really trying to challenge to get to the next level are so high. And whether it's return on energy and that's in my strength

zone or their strength zone, you know, when you spend time with people, your relationship grows. And so I just, I love the concept when I'm looking at my calendar of looking at return on relationship and return on energy and how is our relationship going to improve in that 30 minutes? You know, I need to be prepared. Like what's the purpose of the meeting and you know, how do I add more value to that person and their life and their vision in that time. And that gives me energy. And when I'm prepared, I'm better. And when I'm ill prepared, I'm reactive. The meeting isn't as good. They're wondering why we're on the call. I'm wondering why we're on the call. And that's on me. As the leader, I need to go first.

Well, I think that's a really great idea and a cool concept to think of when you're going into a meeting to ask yourself, you know, how can I improve the relationship in the next 30 minutes? I think a lot of times, BJ, people just go in task focused. You know, what can we accomplish today? Not necessarily how can I build this relationship with the person or the people in this meeting? So what do you find is like the power of having that focus, like this idea of return on relationships? Well, I can just speak for myself. I mean, relationships is a core value of mine. It's a core value of our firms. Our firm's values are growth, relationships, integrity, and passion. And my personal values are faith, family, integrity, relationships, and excellence.

And so all I can say for myself is that relationships are a core value. And so in a spirit of aligning actions with values, you know, spending time with the me and that I'm adding value to their life because I'm all in and I'm focused on helping them get to another level and reach a new performance horizon. Excellent. Excellent. So I also know that you talk a lot about setting up your calendar, right? We've talked a little bit about that, like looking at your calendar and asking yourself, like, does this give me energy or not? But I think in the financial services industry, this is so important because if you're not spending time on the most important things, like you said, if you are just busy, but not for, you know, really focused on your goals and producing towards your goals, and you can't reach the end of the year goal. So give us a sense of why you think it's really important to set your

calendar up, right. And like how people could do that. Well, um, I think this is probably the most important thing as it relates to return on energy and return on relationships. And I've studied a lot of mental toughness training and Jim layer, uh, the mental performance coach out of Orlando who spends a lot of time, uh, on his books, corporate athlete, uh, the, uh, powerful engagement in your peak performance. And the irony is the new executive coach I just hired said literally the same thing, keep testing and keep iterating the times of the day where you're at your very, very best. And so for me, that happens to be in the morning, uh, from seven to nine, sometimes I need a little bit of break and then maybe 10 to noon. I try to make no decisions after 3 p.m. because I start getting tired and I get into a check the box game. And so and I would think a lot of people do that where it's just like, let's get it off my plate and it's done.

And then I've thought about it multiple times and it wasn't right, but, but I was tired coming back to the energy blocks of the two, two hour times a day. You know, when you're at your best, you need to be doing the highest leverage activities. And for us, that's, you know, helping people, you know, that's planting seeds, you know, that's attracting, that's, you know, making phone calls, that that's doing the things that add the most value to our communities and to people. And in a conversation yesterday, we had, you know, with the gentleman that played college football, you know, it was like, look, that's game day. You know, the, the three or four hours a day you're in front of people is like game day. And that's why you do it. But the sleep, the hydration, the training table, the training room, the practice,

the film, those are all the things that go into game day. And we have those too. And the two a days, and those aren't really fun but they give you uh the equipment you know and the mindset and the mentality and the confidence you need to perform at peak performance on game day and for us you know those are all doing all the little things in between but you don't have to be you know in peak performance state or ideal performance state more than three or four hours a day to be wildly successful. You just need to know when those are and maximize them. You can't be doing the things that don't provide any value when you're at your best and try to do the highest value activities when you're the most tired. You know, that's a,

that's a surefire way to burn out. Absolutely. So BJ, when I think about how it applies to me, I think my most high value activity is writing. And I am my best around 10 a.m. to 1 a.m. 10 a.m. to noon. That's where I'm at. 7 a.m., that's not where I'm at my best. Okay.

All right. Well, knowing yourself, that's not where i'm at my best okay all right well knowing yourself that's good yeah isn't it so besides knowing you know your high value activities and when you should do them do you have any other thoughts on kind of managing the calendar and and making sure that it's really aligned with your mission and purpose well i uh you know the the only other thing that I believe is I think if you break it into components, you know, it's a little simpler. And, you know, for me, 5 to 7 a.m. is me leading myself. And that's the first 21 minutes. That's hydration.

You know, that's a workout. That's a podcast or something mentally to get me moving. That could be yoga. That could be running on the elliptical and then a cold shower, uh, at the end of a shower is, has, has proven neuroscience to wake you up and get you moving. And then from seven to four 35, whatever your time is in the second period, you know, so leading yourself and then leading others. And then the last component of the day is really about your family and being with them. And I've just

found that when you lead yourself, it's a lot easier to lead others or expect others to do the things they need to do to lead themselves with integrity because you're doing it and if you take care of yourself and then you do your job you know then you're guilt-free at home all in with the people you love and the irony is that's why you do it because you do it for them but if any point that you don't do what you were supposed to do from seven to whatever time you leave, or you don't take care of yourself. A lot of time that trickles into home. Um, and I just, I haven't seen that formula work for very, very many people. So when you think about, you know,

just as you've been implementing these first 21 minutes, what's the impact for you? Focus. And, uh, it's without a question. I'm more focused. Like today, I had a call with one of our managing directors at eight o'clock and he said, dude, you're dialed in. And I said, you know, it's interesting because I went to this program February 3rd. I've read my goals. I've prayed and I've looked at my calendar for 20, what is today? The 27th for, for 24 consecutive days. Yeah. I mean, I haven't done that in 40 years. Wow. And so I'm just lasered in on what's important. Where are we headed? What is the purpose of what we're doing in this

conversation? And so when I say focus it, you could call it intentionality. You could call it purposeful. You know, I, you know, there's a whole bunch of adjectives to describe it, but I feel more energetic. I feel more focused. I feel more purposeful and more focused on the future of like where we're headed and what is, how is this meeting going to speed us forward? Awesome. I don't know if you can hear that in my voice, but a couple of the people that we've spoken with recently are like, wow, like you had a different year. Nice.

Nice. That's awesome. Um, you know, BJ, one thing I heard you say is that people become what the most influential people expect them to become. And I was like, ooh, that's so good. me because my father and Tim Bohannon have been two of the most influential people in my life. it was I was doing and whether that was just carrying myself like a gentleman, whether that was being classy in a conversation, whether that was doing what was expected, whether that was living according to my values. Uh, there's a whole bunch that goes into that. Um, and neither one of them ever said a word to me about it. I just felt it. And I felt like it was a gift. And I've lived 45 years trying to live into their expectations of me and make them proud. And it's been one of the greatest joys of my life being the ninth steward of this firm, following my Hall of Fame mentor,

because he poured so much into me. And I believe leadership is a virtuous cycle. And so it's my job to pay it forward. It's my job to expect greatness from other people. And it's my job to see things in them they They don't see in them because there were things that each of them, my dad and Tim pointed out that I did said, acted in a way that unconsciously or subconsciously I did. And I didn't know. And they pointed out when I did things right, they helped correct me when I did things right. They helped correct me when I could have been better.

And I just feel like it's my obligation and responsibility now to pay that forward. And the fun part about leadership is it's multiplication. It's not additive. And so it's not each one teach one. It's each one teach 10. To be able to scale their influence and their philosophies and their beliefs and their values is really pretty cool. Yeah, it's amazing that they've had such a big impact on you. I'm hopeful as people are listening that they're thinking about who's had, you know, the most impact on them.

So how does that then inform your leadership when you think about how, you know, what you expect other people become? Well, I mean, I think it comes back to a little bit of the return on energy and return on relationships. And, you know, spending time with people, understanding their vision, where they want to go, where have they come from, what has made them tick, what has made them successful in the past and why. And, you know, is our environment the right environment for them? And there's a lot of sharp people, you know, running around here that want to lead and that have walked a mile in their shoes. And so it's really easy to point out role models,

you know, at different levels and to point them in a direction that, Hey, listen, in year two, this other gal, she, she was right there in year two, and look at where she is today. And this guy's in year 10, which is where you want to be. You're ahead of where he was at that stage. And so it's kind of fun to lean into them, to their vision, to their values, to learn where they want to grow, how they want to grow. And really, what makes leadership fun is it's so customizable and that's what, that, that's what gives me energy is that there's every one of them's different. I was different.

And I never felt like dad treated me like one of his young leaders. I never felt like Tim treated me the same as everybody else. I felt like they met me where I was and gave me what they felt I needed to get me to another level. And sometimes that was a kick and sometimes that was a kiss. Yeah. And you know, you know, but, but I felt like they had the ability to discern on the spot, what I needed at the time and whether it was challenge or support, they seem to balance that throttle really well. And that's really what I try to do.

The, the, the throttle of challenge and support is an intricate one. And depending on where people want to go and where they're at in the moment really determines which one of those you give them. Right. Yeah. I think about leadership as you're talking about that, like the people that you might lead at work, but the people you lead in your family, goodness, even yourself, sometimes you need, you know, a kiss. It kicked yourself. So, or you're, I need more kicks than kisses, you know, for myself. So how does this fit with culture and building culture, BJ? Meaning like, I know, you know, this year you have a theme within your culture, but just tell us a little bit in general, first,

like what does culture mean to you and why is culture important within, you know, a workplace? Yeah. You know, when we talk about culture, we talk about the attitudes, the beliefs, and the behaviors that characterize how we function. And I'm sure I've shared, this is our philosophy and this is what we believe. And these are our values, you know, across the course of this discussion. And I guess, you know, what it means to me is that we're all, you know, you use PJ Fleck earlier, is that we're all rowing, you know, in the same direction, you know, that our actions are aligned with our values. We're clear on what we believe. We're clear on who we are and for the right people, that's a great fit. And for the wrong people that just, that isn't the right fit and that's okay. It's just not okay here. And, and

where, you know, where, where we look for fit the most is in values. And so when we talk about, you mentioned our theme this year, our theme this year is develop the leader within. And the culture of inclusion would say everybody in our firm is going to grow this year. And we developed a leadership curriculum called the Compass Academy internally to our firm. And within the Compass Academy, there are going to be segments of leader development for every layer of our firm customized to their roles. And so when we say develop the leader within that, that's really building on our values that developed leader within is about a conscious choice to grow. It's about relationships. And that if you're in our firm, you matter, regardless of what role you play. It's important that we're all again, rolling in the same direction, you know, integrity. We said we were going to do that.

We said you would get better here. So it's our job to set up the environment to do that. And then passion goes back to, we love people and we love to grow people. And sometimes we grow people and they grow so fast that they leave and they go on to do other things. And that's also cool because then they're not a lid to other people wanting to grow and aspire as well. And that's what's really important to me and my own executive development is I

can't be the lid to our firm. If I don't keep growing, the next layer gets capped because I chose not to grow you know and that's not fair so to them or the rest of them frankly and last year you had a theme of gratitude and growth so how do you choose these themes and like tell us a little bit about that that theme last year yeah that's a great question and the theme has really been a rally cry for us. You know, I talked about our Hall of Fame managing partner, Tim Bohannon, before, and he was so good about a rally cry for the year and for a sprint. And last year, it was gratitude and growth.

And I love gratitude and growth as well. You know, to me, how I define gratitude and growth was, you know, I heard somebody say one time that the definition of fulfillment is where joy and hunger intersect. And I thought that was awesome, Cyndra. You know, it was one of those, hey, listen, I know I'm fulfilled when I'm content with where I am, but I'm hungry to do more for others, to serve more, to be more, to give more, to grow more. More. Because I'm capable of more. And I've grown a lot.

And so I want to keep growing. Growing is fun. And so last year's theme was an awesome rally cry. This year's has been awesome because it's really about growth, you know? And so the theme to both of those is really growth. Develop the leader within is really growth. BJ, I love that. Fulfillment is joy plus hunger, right? And I think that's important because the hunger part, you know, people might not realize that actually we need to have something that we're going after. We need goals. We need, you know, just ways that we're continuing to grow and learn for even us to be fulfilled, for us to get some joy out of life.

So I really love that idea. Well, all the studies, every study says people are happier when they're growing. They didn't say they're more comfortable. That's true. The growth is choppy and a lot of times unseen, especially by yourself. And we tend to have really, really high expectations for ourselves. You know, one of the biggest mistakes people make when they come here is they compare themselves at peak performance somewhere else when they're new here and they forget the journey to become a master at something wherever they were at.

Right. You know, and that's not fair. And so it takes some of the joy out of it because they compare themselves at peak performance to being brand new. And I see that in a lot of different places, in a lot of different industries. I see that in children's sports, which I'm sure you see as a sports psychologist, you know, as you're comparing yourself as a new player in the NFL to when you were a peak at peak performance in college, like that's not fair to yourself. And it takes years to master something. I think about, you know, what the research says and, you know, there's not always support about 10,000 hours or 10 years, but it just takes, you know, years to develop to be a master at something.

I think that's the thing to remember. Yeah, absolutely. And you talk about that, you know, in your stuff on confidence, you know, the attitude, the preparation, the effort, you know, pressures what you feel, you know, when you don't know what to do. And it doesn't take 10,000 hours to know what to do in the moment. Where do you think your confidence has come from, you know, just over the years and even as you see, you know, just watch yourself right now. One of the things I love about just this interview so far is I can tell you know yourself so well, right? And I think that's key to being a, you know, a phenomenal leader, but leading yourself is knowing yourself. So where do you think your

confidence comes from, BJ? Well, I think, you know, that's a good question. It's always an interesting question. Because it's always so weird to talk about yourself. I would say my confidence comes from a few things. One would be my faith and a peace in his plan for my life. The second one is my family upbringing. I grew up in a very values-based home, very supported, very middle-class, but very, very supported, very middle class, but very, very supported and very loved and very encouraged. And I just, I grew up in the environment where if you did what you could control and you were prepared and you had a good attitude, and that's probably why your ape piece, the attitude preparation and effort mattered so much to me and it resonated so much because that's really how i grew up and i've grown up in a control the controllables

environment and so if i just worried about myself and worried about controlling what i could control and then master whatever it was i was doing and wasn't really too hard on myself. And I was nice to myself and I was patient with the process of getting better. That has given me immense confidence. I know today, you know, when I go into publicly speak, you know, to 300, 400, what people, I'm very prepared. I enjoy those. It's like a game day, but I'm prepared. And so I know who's in the group. I know what I believe a message would be that would resonate. And then I just try to let it rip. And I'm sure I make mistakes. Actually, I know I make mistakes.

And then I just try to correct and not do the same one again. Yeah. Excellent. Well, I think at the heart, you know, confidence is a decision. And sometimes we let our feelings of confidence impact, you know, our belief in ourself. But I like what you said about that controlling what you can control impacts confidence because it does. If I'm worried about things that I can control, I can't be very confident in myself. But if I'm really dominating inside that circle, right, like the preparation, the attitude, your attention, your emotions, then it's a different story. You know, last time I was in your office, I was looking at all the books you have and I was like,

oh my gosh, I have all these books in common. So we're reading the same things. Um, how do you find time to read giving that you're a managing partner and, and what, you know, why, why is it so important for you to do that? Like, why do you value it? Well, uh, great question. I, I, I value it because growth is a core value. And I do believe I'm the lid on our firm. And I believe for the people that I lead, I believe I have to continue to share ideas. And I believe leaders if I continue to learn new things and continue to add value in drips, you know, or in our conversation that, Hey, I read this and I thought this applied to you. I think that gives me credibility, you know, as a leader, it gives me confidence as a leader that I'm continuing to grow and add value. It gives me a ton of confidence when they apply it. And you know, I,

to me it's a downtime thing. I didn't used to love to read in college or out of college. I didn't love to read today. I love to read because I grow when I read, but, but it's my downtime. So whether it's nine o'clock to nine 30 or 10 o'clock at night, whatever time that is, whether it's five 30 to five 45 in the morning, whether it's a plane ride or anything like that, those are the times where I tend to read. I think I've read three or four books this year. I tried to read a couple a month. It doesn't always happen. Some depends on my travel schedule, but it's important to me because growth or excellence, growth is a firm value. Excellence is a core personal core value, but adding value to leaders is ultimately why I do what I do. And so I just, uh, it's just

important to me. Yeah. Last question of the day, BJ. So, um, when I think about growth and what you've talked about so far, and I know you mentioned to me that you reinvent yourself every two to three years. What does that mean? And why have you found that to be really important as a leader? Well, yeah. I mean, every couple of years, I mean, if we went back, you know, probably four or five years ago, I probably had my toughest year in leadership that I ever had. And I was going through the motions. My right-hand person took maternity leave for the first time. And I didn't really know what to do with the outer person leave to go back home to be with their

family. We had one person get promoted and then another person retired to be a mom for the first time that we helped shepherd through the in vitro process because my wife and I went through that together. And I felt like four of my best people all left within a 90 day period. And I was, I was torched. I was burned out and And I just, I didn't have a very good year, you know? And when I look back, it was my worst year in leadership. And, and I look back and I was doing the same things and I was on autopilot. And while they left, you know, some things trickled to me, some things I took on that I didn't need to take on, some things I didn't delegate, some people I didn't empower. It was an opportunity to pull up a couple people, and I was tired.

I was bored, and I was bad. And when I worked with my coach and we worked through all these subconsciously, but I'm probably not great right now. My energy isn't great. I'm probably not the best fit for our team right now there. And so we gave somebody else a stretch assignment to take on that 20%, you know, compensated them to do it fairly. And frankly, they did it better than I did it sure because they were excited to do it and it was in their strength zone and I was on autopilot and our firm got better and then I got better because I had 20 more time to go learn a new skill or do something new and I've continued to try to do that every couple of years. So that was 2014. So in 2016 we had a plan for me to be the next managing partner. And so we were working really hard on that plan, which I had to learn a whole bunch of new skills to, you know, have a new job and, or new responsibilities in 18.

I took over. And so then it was really on, it isn't, you know, hypothetical anymore. Right. Exactly. Speed. So, uh, you need to learn a whole bunch of new skills. And then I had to download a whole bunch of other things. And then today I just, I felt like I needed this executive development program again after two years in. The industry is changing so fast. People are growing so fast. And I need to grow at their pace or faster. And so that's been really important. And so this year we've been really trying to concentrate on return on energy, return on relationships, eliminating things or delegating things that are empowering tasks for

other people to grow. And I think, I mean, I don't think I'm the only person that needs to reinvent myself. I don't think I'm the only person that continues to do monotonous tasks and get bored. And so I think if I go first, it will empower other people to empower other people and other people and other people and then keep growing and, you know, keep having energy around their top priorities. Excellent. I think we could talk for hours, hours. And we have. And we have, yeah, exactly. BJ, here is the things that I got from the interview. I just like to recap at the end for people just to remind them of what we talked about as a good summary. But really like what you talked about related to your 21 minutes, your first 21 minutes and the impact that it's had on you.

You mentioned, you know, more focus, more energy, more purposeful, just more focused on the future. And so I'd really encourage everyone to think about their first 21 minutes. What are you doing at the beginning of your day? Loved our conversation about the two hour blocks and the calendar. And like, are you using your calendar in the best way that you can? Are you doing the high value activities when you're really like, you know, most mentally clear? I really enjoyed the conversation about return on energy and return on relationships. I think a lot of people got some really good value out of that. And then when you were talking about culture and asking yourself or helping people in terms of supporting them, you said,

you know, sometimes they need a kick and sometimes they need a kiss. Super good. Fulfillment is where joy and hunger intercept. Yeah. Intersect. Yep. Intersect. I said intercept. Yeah. Well, that's a football. You're, a football. You're trained on football. That's fine. Yeah, that's true. That's true. So how can people reach out to you or connect with you, BJ? What would be the best way? Are you on social or anything like that? I am not. You know, my website is, or my email is BJHellyer,

BJ.Hellyer, H-E-L-L-Y-E-R at N-M dot com. And, uh, you know, I'm online, uh, and just, you know, go to Google and type in BJ Hellyer, H-E-L-L-Y-E-R. And, uh, our website is right there. Awesome. And what final advice or thoughts do you have for people? Yeah, I think, you know, be yourself is the feedback I've constantly gotten from some of my best people is you are who you are. You were made with a specific set of gifts and just be true to yourself, be authentic and just let the world see who you are and trust that it's going to be good enough. Excellent. BJ, thank you so much for joining us today. A couple of years into making this interview. So I'm grateful that you took some

time out of your calendar. Thank you. Awesome. I enjoyed it, Sandra. Have a great one. You too. Way to go for finishing another episode of the High Performance Mindset. I'm giving you a virtual fist pump. Holy cow. Did that go by way too fast for anyone else? If you want more, remember to subscribe and you can head over to Dr. Sindra for show notes and to join my exclusive community for high performers where you get access to videos about mindset each week. So again, you can head over to Dr. Sindra.

That's D-R-I-C-I-N-D-R-A.com. See you next week.