High Performance Mindset | Learn from World-Class Leaders, Consultants, Athletes & Coaches about Mindset - 354: Stop Criticizing Yourself

Episode Date: July 14, 2020

“You have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” Louise Hay Self-compassion, or the practice of being kind to yourself in times of failure, pain or when you notice something you don’t like about yourself, is key to practice right now. When we show self-compassion, we give ourselves the same kindness as we would to others recognizing that all humans suffer and we are not alone. We can then use tools to stop being so critical of ourselves remembering criticizing ourselves doesn’t help us get to where we want to go.   This week’s Power Phrase:  “I am kind to myself. I remind myself I am doing the best I can.”

Hi friends, my name is Dr. Sindhra Kampoff, a national leader in the field of sport and performance psychology. Every week I'm on the local radio sharing my top tips on exactly how to develop the mindset of the world's best, so you can accomplish all your dreams. Get ready for a jammed packed episode focused on practical tips to help you get after your goals and step out of your comfort zone. Let's go. To compare your sort of like COVID experience with someone else, maybe you've heard like a friend being really productive during this time, or you're experiencing some kind of loss. Like for me, it's like a loss of travel, a loss of time with my family, maybe a loss of sport. So I think it's really important that we are kind to ourselves. Can I

quote that I really like? Yeah, please do. It's by Lewis Hay. And she said, you've been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn't worked. Just try approving of yourself and see what happens. Yeah, there you go. It's a good way to talk to yourself. So why is it important to be kind to ourselves right now? I think it's important. So this idea of self-compassion, and that's the practice of being kind to yourself. And that's important in times of failure or pain or when you notice something that you don't like about yourself. And being self-compassionate, it's more important than being self-critical. And you might think that being self-critical actually will help you get ahead. But we actually know that that's quite the opposite.

I believe that for many years, that the more critical I was of myself, the better I would perform or achieve. But it is very different than that. So, Sandra, what about people who are skeptical of this mindset saying, well, you don't want to be too easy on yourself. You want to keep pushing yourself. What about those folks? What would you say to them? Yeah, I would say, you know, that self-compassion, you might think that being compassionate to yourself would lead to like complacency or a lack of motivation or a lack of productivity. But what their research says is actually the opposite, that the kinder we are to ourselves, the more we want to improve. of being kind to ourselves? Well, first, you can adapt and adjust and be resilient, even though you might experience setbacks or adversity or mistakes.

And being kind to yourself is also a really powerful anecdote to perfectionistic thinking or stress or anxiety. And we're less likely to ruminate on our problems such as COVID-19 or we're less likely to be really critical and have this inner critical voice. So, Sindra, how do we put this mindset into practice when it comes to self-compassion? I think the first thing is to realize all people suffer. Like that's actually part of the human experience that we all believe at times that we're not enough. We all experience difficulty and struggle. And first, I think it's just realizing that we're not alone.

And when you realize that you're not alone, you realize there's no reason to have self-pity. But then it's really important to gain the skills and the tools and the wisdom that you don't suffer as much and you don't get stuck in that suffering. And that's what's really important. But first, it's about recognizing that you're not alone and then getting yourself unstuck and stop criticizing yourself so much. Right. What's the best way to summarize today? I would say that self-compassion or the practice of being kind to yourself in times of pain or failure, or when you notice something that you don't like about yourself, that's more important

than being self-critical. And it's so important to practice this right now because we can show ourselves the same kindness that we would have to others because everybody goes through difficulties. We're not alone. On a Monday, what's our power phrase to head us through the week? I am kind to myself. I remind myself I'm doing the best I can. Continue doing the very best you can. CINDRA Kampoff, how do we get in touch with you if we want more information? You can head over to Dr. CINDRA, so D-R-C-I-N-D-R-A dot com. Way to go for finishing another episode of the High Performance Mindset. I'm giving you a virtual fist pump.

Holy cow, did that go by way too fast for anyone else? If you want more, remember to subscribe and you can head over to Dr. Sindra for show notes and to join my exclusive community for high performers where you get access to videos about mindset each week. So again, you can head access to videos about mindset each week. So again, you can head over to Dr. Sindra. That's D-R-C-I-N-D-R-A.com. See you next week.