High Performance Mindset | Learn from World-Class Leaders, Consultants, Athletes & Coaches about Mindset - 403: Mental Fitness is a Key Success Strategy for Leaders Under Pressure with Pam Solberg-Tapper, Leaders Under Pressure Expert and 7 Continents Marathoner

Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, my name is Cindra Campoff and I'm a small-town Minnesota gal, Minnesota nice as we like to say it, who followed her big dreams. I spent the last four years working as a mental coach for the Minnesota Vikings, working one-on-one with the players. I wrote a best-selling book about the mindset of the world's best and I'm a keynote speaker and national leader in the field of sport and performance psychology. And I am obsessed with showing you exactly how to develop the mindset of the world's best so you can accomplish all your goals and dreams. So I'm over here following my big dreams and I'm here to inspire you and practically show you how to do the same. And you know, when I'm not working, you'll find me playing Ms. Pac-Man.

Starting point is 00:00:45 Yes, the 1980s game Ms. Pac-Man. So take your notepad out, buckle up, and let's go. This is the High Performance Mindset. Welcome to episode 403 with Pam Solberg Tapper. This is your host, Dr. Cindra Kampoff, and I'm grateful that you are here. If you know that mindset is essential to your success, then you are in the right place. And today, I have a dear friend on the podcast. I first met Pam when we both joined the National Speakers Association about seven years ago. I wanted to become a better speaker, and we both went through the Speakers Academy, and Pam and I hit it off right away. I remember specifically we had to go around and introduce ourselves right at the beginning of

Starting point is 00:01:30 our first class. And she had described that she had run a marathon on every continent. And I couldn't wait to talk to her after the class. I had just myself finished running the Boston Marathon and I was just so excited to talk to her and connect with her. And since then, we have attended numerous conferences together. We went to several Tony Robbins events, including Date with Destiny, Brendan Burchard's Experts Academy. And she is also just a dear friend that when I'm struggling with, it's something related to my business or my life. I go to her. She's a great listener and incredible coach. So let me tell you a little bit more about Pam. She is a leaders under pressure expert. She guides leaders who are dealing with the pressures of today's world, specifically helping them shift

Starting point is 00:02:16 from feelings of overwhelm to more calm and clarity by help building the brain's mental fitness muscles. She has coached hundreds of executives and their teams to accelerate accomplishing their objectives using innovative mindset techniques, which she describes in this podcast. She believes that success in business and in life is 80% mindset and 20% strategy. She's also a passionate and engaging speaker who creates instant rapport with people and her audiences through her personal storytelling. In this episode, Pam describes her mental fitness boot camp, which is a virtual program based on positive intelligence, where leaders learn the techniques to rewire their negative disempowering brain neural pathways to more positive empowering

Starting point is 00:03:00 pathways to help better handle life's pressures. Leaders have found that this program reduces stress, helps them make better decisions, enhances their performance, and improves relationships. She has a master's degree, is an International Coach Federation Professional Certified Coach, a board-certified executive coach, and a positive intelligence certified coach. What differentiates Pam is that she's an avid runner. She is among a handful of women in the world who have completed marathons on seven continents, as well as the North Pole and Mount Everest. In this episode, Pam and I talk about her sweet spot exercise and how it can apply to you, what to do when you don't feel passionate about your work, how to see an

Starting point is 00:03:43 opportunity in every difficulty, why what if is a powerful phrase to help you create change, how to create a new neural pathway and when it is important to do so, and a powerful innovative strategy that you can use when you notice you are sabotaging your own success. My favorite part of this episode was when Pam talked about and used this quote. She said, if your mind perceives it to be true, you can't believe anything else. To see the full show notes and description, as well as a transcript of this episode, you can head over to cindracampoff.com slash 403. Without further ado, let's bring on Pam.

Starting point is 00:04:25 Thank you so much for joining us, Pam Solberg-Tapper. I'm so excited to talk with you today. I wanted to have you on the podcast for a long time, and it's just so fun to have a good friend on the podcast. So how are you doing today? I'm so excited to be with you on your podcast, and congratulations to you to have over 400 episodes, Cinder. That's outstanding. I know I couldn't even believe it. Last time I recorded an episode, I was like, today's 400. I felt like I was just kind of focused so much on the process that it was like, you know, not necessarily focused on the number, but just the quality. So thanks for saying that, Pam. Congratulations. Well, to start us off, just give us a little insight into your passion and what you're doing right now. Yeah, so I'm a leadership under pressure expert. So what does that mean? I work with leaders that

Starting point is 00:05:17 are under pressure of all the demands that they have on their lives right now, the overwhelm, the ambiguity, and all the things that are happening in the world. And I help them shift from all that overwhelm and ambiguity to having a more calm and clear headed way of thinking using brains, neuroscience and mindset strategies. Awesome. Well, tell us a little bit about how you got into coaching and especially coaching leaders kind of who are under fire. Yes. So prior to being a coach, I was in the health care industry. So I had an MBA in that field and worked my way up the ranks and was able to be in a job that was really secure, had a great team, worked with smart people, had job security, made the money. And I read the book, Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. I opened the chapter, begin with the end in mind. And so he prompts us to take a forward view of

Starting point is 00:06:20 towards the end of our lives, looking back and what is it that you want to see? And I thought, holy crap, this isn't it. And all the things that I put together to get to where I was, wasn't it. And so I was really demoralized at that point. And so I actually pursued finding a career coach to help me pivot and decide what I'd like to do instead. And I'm so grateful to her now because I'm doing work that's truly in my passion and to be able to have leaders like my old former role to help them navigate all of the overwhelm and pressures that they have in today's world. So would you say a coach introduced you to coaching or did she just kind of through your explorations talk about what is it that you want to do next

Starting point is 00:07:11 and you found coaching or tell us a bit about actually how that works for you? Yeah, and it is all about that exploration and I'll share a tool with you that I think works really well and I use with my clients too. We call it the sweet spot exercise. So anyone can do this and it's really, really helpful to kind of narrow it down. What is it that makes you happy and fulfilled? So you think about,

Starting point is 00:07:37 if you think about a Venn diagram that has the overlapping, the three overlapping circles okay and if you would draw that out the first circle that you would populate is what is it that I'm really good at and so you it could be a myriad of different things maybe you're good at details maybe you're good at project management maybe you're good at leading people maybe you're good at project management. Maybe you're good at leading people. Maybe you're good at vision or strategy or whatever those things are that you're really, really good at. The second circle that you populate is what brings me joy. That's a whole different question because what we're good at does not necessarily bring us joy. And so that's what happened to me. I was good at what I did, but it didn't necessarily bring me that joy. So so that's what happened to me. I was good at what I did,

Starting point is 00:08:25 but it didn't necessarily bring me that joy. So what are all the things that bring you joy? So that's two parts. The last part is then the last circle is what is it that that you can make money at? Because if we're doing it for a job, we want to be able to make money at it. So where those three circles overlap, we call that the sweet spot. And so just by doing that one exercise, it can really be eye-opening to see if you're in a place that really doesn't feel rewarding or where you're not fulfilled. And I think from your own experience, you can draw from this question, but also from your experience as a coach, like what's the power of working in this sweet spot by, you know, really thinking and working towards what you're good at and what you find joy at and what you can be paid for. What's the power in that? So the power in it is really interesting because what we're good at and brings us joy is oftentimes a strength. And because we're so good at it, we don't recognize it ourselves.

Starting point is 00:09:33 We think, oh, anybody can do this or anybody can do that. But that's not true. If we're really good at it and it brings us joy, we're going to be successful because we're inherently good at it. We're inherently on top of our game when we're able to be in that energetic place. And so a lot of us diss it or take it for granted because it's something that we do well, but we really need to be mindful of that because if it is something that matches up, then a lot of times we'll be able to have financial success with it.

Starting point is 00:10:04 So what if there are people who are listening who say, okay, great idea, Pam, but, you know, I can't quit my job because of this or, you know, yeah, I don't really find joy in what I'm doing, but, you know, given the economy, I can't really make a change, you know, or maybe I do want to become a coach or have my own business, but all of that is scary, right? And some, and I don't want to just, you know, quit my full-time job and, you know, just dive into something when I'm not sure I'm going to be successful. So what might you give in terms of suggestions for those types of people who might be listening? Well, that was me. Yeah, I didn't do it all in one fell swoop. It took me a while to figure out what the new thing was and then to get educated.

Starting point is 00:10:57 I had to go back to school. I had to learn how to start a business. And so for people that are listening and I had to manage my risk, I couldn't just stop having an income. So my first suggestion is, is if you're not ready, manage your risk, but still do the exercise and see what's out there that that you can take baby steps towards. Yeah, nice. And so when we have that hope, when we know that there's something you know, if we're unhappy, if there's something that we can move towards, then that's going to give us more energy. Even in the current job that we have that we may not like as much because we know that there's something out there for us. So that's one strategy.

Starting point is 00:11:35 The second strategy is if it's impossible, and for some of us it is, to make a switch like that. Bring whatever that thing is that you really love and you're passionate about into your world as a hobby or something else you can do. So for instance, a woman that I'm actually working with now is not able to switch careers. And so what she decided to do is she really is interested in giving back and making a bigger impact. And so what we're doing is we're exploring what that bigger impact is. And then how can she volunteer to be able to get that fulfillment? Or she's even playing with the idea of starting a foundation of some sort. And so you'll get that fulfillment, even if it isn't the paying job at the time.

Starting point is 00:12:23 Yeah, I think that's impactful because I think there are some people who feel maybe like they can't make the change or by working on their side passion or their hustle for a while, you can make that big enough that you can maybe quit that job that you don't really feel fulfilled in.

Starting point is 00:12:41 Exactly, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So I'm just thinking about all the cool things that I want to talk about with you, Pam. And I'm thinking about, you know, just what led you to where you are today. So tell us about, you know, is there an impactful turning point that impacted your life? Or tell us a little bit about something that was powerful that led you to where you are today? Yes. You know, we hear so many stories about taking an adversity and turning it around to an opportunity. And when I was growing up, I was very obese and I was teased and bullied and all of those

Starting point is 00:13:20 things. It was really a painful experience. And the last one that would be picked for sports teams and things like that and and so that was really really difficult and then then I entered into you know my younger adult years and I did all sorts of dieting to be able to manage my rate and I was really successful because I'm determined and I can get things done. And so I would lose that weight, but then it would come back and lose the weight and that would come back. And I thought, well, this is going to be it. I'm, I'm afflicted with this and I probably should just live with it. But then I had this other idea. I was going to a health club at the time. And some of the women there said that

Starting point is 00:14:05 they were runners. And so I thought, okay, Pam, I remember this. Okay, Pam, you're going to make yourself run for a month. Okay, you don't after a month, you can evaluate if that's not what you want to do to help you manage your weight. And so I did that. I was determined. I stuck to it. I ran. It wasn't pretty. I did it really early in the morning when people weren't around and I ran for a month. And then what happened at the end of the month, I liked myself better. I felt a little bit more fit, but it was weird, Cyndra, what it did to my brain. I felt more confident. I felt more sure of myself. I liked myself better. And so at that pivotal point, I decided to continue running. And that actually changed my life because I was really fortunate that there was a trainer at the gym and after I ran off you know I started

Starting point is 00:15:06 doing 5k's we build our way up and the trainer was really helping me and he said you know Pam you should run a marathon and I thought no you gotta be kidding Chubby Pam my last name is Solberg kids used to call me so big there's no way in the world that I could run a marathon but you know what he believed in me he believed in me and he planted that seed in my brain and I thought well what if what if and I couldn't get rid of that thought so one thing led to another and I did I ran my first marathon in our home state here of Minnesota grandma's marathon the local one yes and I ran other ones uh within the United States and I started doing more and more of them and I felt better and better about myself. And, and just one day, I, I, I would think I had this transformational thought.

Starting point is 00:16:10 I shifted, I shifted my brain from I run marathons to it's, it's just small words. I am a marathoner. Hmm. So it was like, I marathons it's kind of a transactional thing yeah you know you do lots of marathons but when you stepped into I am a marathoner yeah that that was a game changer that was transformational and that's how powerful those I am statements are. And I'm hearing that like the transactional is like, I do, but the transformational is like, I am like, I goes from like doing to being. And, and I also heard a few things in your story that are really powerful that it was like this one person who is kind of providing you the suggestion. And even though you didn't believe it at the time, you just kept on asking like, what if? And I think that could be

Starting point is 00:17:13 a really powerful strategy for people who, you know, aren't sure right away that they can do it, but it's like, okay, just imagine the what ifs. And over time, then maybe convince yourself that it's possible. Yeah, absolutely right. Yeah, it took a while. I didn't sign up the next day, believe me. So now at this point, you ran a marathon on every continent. How cool is that?

Starting point is 00:17:38 I know there's only a handful of women who've done that. So I'd love to hear your experience of the most impactful marathon that you've ran and why it was the most impactful. Yeah. So fortunately I've been able to use this new way of identity to travel the world. How cool is that? There's a marathon anywhere and everywhere you want to go. So for those folks that are interested in travel, it's really a great way to see the world. So not only running on all the continents, I've had an opportunity to run a marathon at the North Pole, geographical North Pole, but also at Mount Everest. Wow. So the marathon that was most impactful was the marathon at Mount Everest, because it's not like your typical marathon that you see around here in the States. It was really an adventure. and we were able to then hike on mountain trails okay it took us two weeks to travel the same same trails that the um that the Sherpas go on and that the people that actually summit Mount

Starting point is 00:19:01 Everest so we went on those same pathways. So there's only one way, there's only one way to get there. And that is by foot, or if you take a helicopter, or if you ride a mule or a yak. So we were on those same trails. It took us two weeks, two weeks to get to the starting line, which is Mount Everest Base Camp. And during that time, you have to acclimate to the altitude, of course, because there's a phenomenon called the acute altitude sickness. And if you try to ascend too fast, you can get really, really sick. And so of our group of 25 people, three of them had to be medically evacuated by helicopter because they contracted acute altitude sickness, which can affect anybody.

Starting point is 00:19:51 You can be in the best shape, but it's just a chemistry thing. And so they had to be taken away. So every day it got just a little bit more tenuous. And the higher up we got, the accommodations were really minimal and, you know, not running water,585 feet, we got to stay two nights at base camp, which is unusual. They don't let people stay at base camp unless you're going to go higher up with the climbers there in Nepal. So we stayed two nights to get even further acclimated, and the race started the next day. The race itself, the marathon, was actually descending from base camp. Wow, okay. So what was interesting is that in that race there was only 137 people. So you can think about over the distance of 26.2 miles, people get pretty well spread out. Right. So there were times during the event where I didn't see anybody nobody I didn't see anybody

Starting point is 00:21:09 in front of me or anybody behind me and here we are up in the mountains and there's lots of spews off the main pathway and it wasn't marked all that well and I started to get a saboteur hijack. I got so hijacked. I was so afraid because I thought I was going to get lost. Oh, I could imagine. And I didn't know where I was. And I, my brain was going crazy. You stupid idiot. Why did you think you could do this? You, here you are, and you're smarter than this. How did you ever get could do this you here you are and you're smarter than this how did you ever get yourself into this situation you're going to get lost and then they're going to have to send a helicopter to find you and my mind went just down downhill spiral and then I remembered, not only did I do physical training, but I did mental training. And I had a mantra.

Starting point is 00:22:08 Okay. It goes like this. I am strong. I am smart. I am safe. I've got this. I am strong. I am smart.

Starting point is 00:22:16 I am safe. I've got this. Those I am statements, right? Yep. And what happened after that was I repeated that statement over and over and over in my brain. So those sabotaging thoughts couldn't derail me. And I kept going one step after the other, one step after the other. And 12 hours later, 12 hours, I ended up coming across the finish line.

Starting point is 00:22:42 It was pure dark and had to wear a headlamp. And but I made it. But I made it. Yeah, so grateful for that opportunity to be in such a bizarre part of the world, which really turned out to help my confidence even more. Wow. Well, a couple of things I'm hearing from that story is I think we can all relate to times that our brain gets hijacked. And I think especially when you're in a really scary situation like that, that if you don't, you know, you know, if you get lost, you know, will you stay alive? They're gonna have to come find you, you know, and, and our brain can just kind of make up the worst case scenario. Congratulations on the finish. Like how amazing is that to be able to say that you ran a marathon at Mount Everest and were one of 137 people who were even at the starting line. Thank you. And I wasn't last. So that's, there were people behind me, but I didn't, I had no clue. At that point, like the time doesn't matter. It's all about finishing, right? So, so you, you mentioned something that I want to help clarify for people who are listening,

Starting point is 00:23:51 like tell us about how we can hijack our, ourself and, and ways that we can even sabotage our success. Cause there's a lot of different ways, but tell us like how you understand that and how that relates to all of us who are listening. Yeah, well, similar to, you know, the story that I just shared, you know, there's a, there's a quote, if your mind perceives it to be true, you cannot believe anything else. Okay. If your mind perceives it to be true, you't believe anything else and so we believe those sabotaging thoughts I I don't deserve this I can't do it um I'm so full of fear that I'm not going to take this first step we're not going to do it it reminds me of a parable you may have heard this before about a villager that um was uh his mother was ill and so he needed to go to the next village it was a few miles away

Starting point is 00:24:47 and so he um waited until he was done with his work and it was kind of getting dark out and so he took off on the path to go help his mother and as he was going down the path out in front of him and it was you know getting darker and darker he he says a snake there was was going down the path out in front of him, and it was, you know, getting darker and darker, he says, a snake! There was a snake in the path. And he knew that it was a venomous snake and that he wouldn't be able to survive if he got any closer to the snake. And so he ran up a tree to keep himself safe from the snake. And then he kind of waited it out and he couldn't really see. And he thought, well, I'll just wait for the snake to move on.

Starting point is 00:25:30 And finally, you know, it was middle of the night and he couldn't see anything. So he just stayed in the tree all night long, full of fear, full of fear. He needed to get to his mom. Well, then dusk came and he could see a little bit better and he came down from the tree and he looked and right in front of him what he thought was a snake was actually a piece of rope oh wow yeah what we believe to be true we can't conceive anything else and so he let that that belief

Starting point is 00:26:08 that it was a snake sabotage his efforts to get mom and how often do we do that how often sabotage ourselves with things that aren't even true. You know, the only meaning anything has is the meaning that we give it. Even if the meaning is not true. Yeah. Yeah. I love that story because we do it all the time. Yeah. And I'm thinking about, there's so many ways that we can apply what you just said, Pam, I'm thinking about this time period of COVID and now it's really easy to go to the worst case scenario about at least, you know, when it all happened. Like my first thought was like, am I going to die alone? You know, just like this really irrational thought. I had to back myself up. But, you know, it's really easy, I think, to live in fear.

Starting point is 00:27:02 So tell us a bit about how we might notice these saboteurs. There we go, saboteurs. And then how can we address them? Yes. So that's the big part. Notice them. Because for so many of us, they're patterns. They're patterns that we use or have had all of our lives. They're so insidious that you don't even know that it's happening. Yeah. I mean, you're saying, yeah. So what do you think when I say that? Well, I think about the ways that I even get in my own way, you know, and it's like, maybe I don't post something on

Starting point is 00:27:48 social media because of, you know, what people might think. And I think that comes from my childhood of, you know, like feeling like accepted. And so I think there are a lot of these small ways that we get in our own way from really playing big with our life. Yeah, absolutely. So one of the patterns that I had growing up, and rightly so, you know, my folks went through the depression. And so that was a hard that well, what we're going through now is hard. That was hard. And, and so the pattern that evolved from our home was that life is hard. Yeah. So if you want to try a new thing, well, it's going to be hard. And so I'll, you know, I'll tell on myself, technology. If I have to learn a new system or something for my work, my immediate thought is,

Starting point is 00:28:43 oh, that's going to be hard. That's going to be hard. But that's not necessarily true. So anyway, that's how those patterns, it just comes. So we have those and how do we mitigate them? That's the question. Right. What you said just a moment ago was the first thing. We have to be aware. Yeah. If we're not aware of that negative pathway, that negative thought pattern, then, then it can derail us. So being aware is the first step. What are some other ways that you see people kind of getting in their own way or for calling it saboteurs? Like give us a little, some other examples of ways that you see this play out in coaching and in people's lives. Because I know as a coach, people tell you a lot of things that they maybe wouldn't tell other people.

Starting point is 00:29:29 So you get to really know kind of their own mindset. Yes. So there's a number of saboteur patterns, a way of thinking. And I'm affiliated with Positive Intelligence by Shirzad Chimane. And so he groups them into various categories. For instance, one is a controller. So that kind of a patterning. So each of the saboteurs has a strength aspect to it. A person that has a saboteur controller tendency, they know how to make things happen. They know how to, and a lot of leaders have this. And so I work with a lot of people that have this tendency,

Starting point is 00:30:14 but we know how to get things done. We know how to make the strategies. And we like to make sure that things don't go sideways. So we like to control situations. We need people like that. But what happens is when the saboteur patterns get out of control, then it can be really devastating. For instance, especially in the work setting, if a leader has that control or tendency, they don't delegate, they want to do everything themselves, because they are the ones that know how it needs to go. Or maybe they don't collaborate with their team as much, because they feel that their way is best.

Starting point is 00:31:01 And the way other people think may, you know, it may be inferior. So we got to watch, watch that. So that's just another instance on how these saboteurs play out. So it's not always lack of confidence or self-doubt. There's other thought patterns that can be equally as disruptive. And I have his book right here. I read it a few years ago. So it's kind of cool to like hear you talk about it. So Pam, when you think about you just said like awareness is kind of the first step of understanding how we might get in our own way and sabotage our success. What should we do from there, in your opinion? Yes, because awareness isn't enough. We have to be able to shift our minds. So if you think about it, what we want to do is intercept those neural pathways. Shahzad's work is based on neuroscience and a lot of research. So if we have those saboteur thought processes, not only controller is one of them, but hyperachiever and hypervigilant, there's all sorts of related themes or patterns.

Starting point is 00:32:12 Being aware is the first step because it's like a super highway. When we get hijacked, our neural pathway, we go right down that pathway. And so the first step is to be aware. And then we need to, and so we need to intercept them. The first step is intercepting that natural pattern, just being aware. The second thing we need to do is to then, it's like a switch. We want to switch out that neural pathway into a new neural pathway and build that new neural pathway.

Starting point is 00:32:41 So that switching place is called a PQ rep, positive quotient rep. Okay. What do we mean by that? We want to disrupt that negative saboteur pathway to a more empowering pathway. And we can do it using hyper focus on a physical sensation of our body. Hyper focus on physical sensation of our body. That's a PQ rep. So we all know this one and it's been around forever. We've heard this, take a deep breath. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:33:20 Right. That gives you that pause. That's that switching mechanism. Breath is a pq rep so we can switch into a more empowering part of our brain shirzad calls it the sage brain but some other ones that we can do are really really cool one of them that i love is is you rub two fingers together like this with such attention so what we want is you want to really focus over here we want to not focus on that saboteur pathway but we want to intercept it and focus on our fingers

Starting point is 00:33:53 rub them together with such attention okay that you can feel the ridges on both of the fingers. That's a pattern disrupt. Okay. Breath. Yes. Another one, Sandra. Yeah. So cool. You focus on your feet and wiggle your toes. Like feel all your toes. Are you doing it right now? Yeah, I am. I'm like my little pinky toe. Is it moving so well? That's hard to do, but again, we're, we're, we're intercepting PQ repping away from that negative pathway to a more empowering pathway. So wiggling your toes is another one. And, and so there's many of them that we can do, but the key is it's a pattern disrupt. Okay. The pattern. So you're aware and

Starting point is 00:34:47 you interrupt you feel the emotion you intercept it you do pq reps and then the third one okay then you're in a calmer part of your brain to be able to have more calm clear-headed, laser-focused action to make a decision or to respond in a relationship rather than to react with anger. It's just giving that pause and being able to create that new neural pathway area in your brain so you can come from a more empowering place. And so after we disrupt the pattern, right, the negative pattern, or the way that we might be sabotaging our success, do we then do you think replace it with something more empowering or is the last step just more about like directing your mind to making a decision and taking action? So it comes down to some ways that we can use that part of our brain, our sage part of our brain, by being in that

Starting point is 00:35:55 relationship with that other person or whatever we're doing by having more empathy towards them. Okay. So we can choose empathy in responding to the person as opposed to being angry. Another one is you can respond with curiosity, especially for these leaders that have a controlling tendency with curiosity. Oh, I wonder what, why so-and-so thinks that way. And so there's lots of ways that we can access more curiosity, more innovation, and more ways to be able to act from a more empowering place. Awesome. How often would you say that you find yourself disrupting your own negative patterns like every day? You know, many times throughout your day or kind of

Starting point is 00:36:52 tell us how you might use this personally. Well, it's so interesting because we call it mental fitness. Yeah. And we equate it to physical fitness. So just think about going to the gym, right? Or marathoning, we talked about that and I know you're a marathoner too. You don't just decide to go out and run a marathon or when you go to the gym, you can't just lift a hundred pound weight if you only have a muscle that can lift a 10 pound weight.

Starting point is 00:37:22 And so mental fitness is the same. You build up these new neural pathways over the course of time. So Shirzad's program is brilliant because what he does is he has us use an app on our phone. We all have our phones with us. And this is our mental fitness gym to be able to do gym exercises at periodic times throughout the day we do just short disrupts short drops short pattern disrupts use pq and choose again throughout the day so he's designed this app to train our brains and to build mental muscle over the course of time so what happens is then you have more capacity yeah to choose a more empowering response to anything in your life and it builds up over time and they've actually done MRIs and brain studies and things like that

Starting point is 00:38:21 and they see how various areas of your brain lights up. And the more conditioned you are with mental fitness and doing those exercises, the stronger your brain becomes to handle the pressures that we all are encountering on the day to day. And I like what you said, Pam, about that we can choose our response, right? Not just react to like with heightened anxiety or fear. And, you know, I'm thinking about how our perception is really so important in terms of any situation that we're experiencing. Tell us a little bit about your perception of that or where, you know, your perspective of that stems from. Well, one of my favorite quotes is from Dr. Wayne Dyer.

Starting point is 00:39:14 When you change the way you think of things, the things you think of change. And so it just shows how powerful the mind is and how powerful some of these disempowering thoughts saboteurs can really limit your life and so when we can shed ourselves and manage them i'll put manage or shed shed some of them, then we could step into being and living the reason why we're here on earth, living our passion, living our why, and stepping into being able to share our talents and our gifts with other people and living a more fulfilled life when we get out of our way. I think ultimately that's what we all want, right? Is to be able to live how we really want and to

Starting point is 00:40:12 follow our passions and why we think we're ultimately here. So fun to talk to you, Pam. I got a couple of closing questions that I want to ask you about. And I always ask people about a time they failed and to share with us a time they failed and what failure means to you. How would you answer that question, Pam? Well, there's many of them. So a time that I failed you know if I go back to my weight loss days I mean a failure after failure after failure after failure and I can remember when Thomas Edison you know I go up and down and up and down and oh I'd be so disgusted with myself, myself. And I remember Thomas Edison got asked one time, you know, you, I don't have this quite right. But, you know, you invented the light bulb, but you failed X numerous amount of times. And Thomas Edison said, Well, I figured out what doesn't work.

Starting point is 00:41:19 And I think that's true with all of us with all all the failures that we have is, you know, find out what doesn't work. And fortunately for me and my story that I shared earlier, I found that running did work. But also to know that anytime we fail, when we learn by it, that's the key. And we can turn any failure or any situation or any circumstance into a gift or an opportunity if we choose to if we choose to have a situation and turn it into a gift or an opportunity sometimes it's not right at the moment sometimes it's it's later on but in my own example oh my gosh I'm so grateful that I you know know, got bullied, like, and teased, because it caused me to make change. And now I look back and, and a lot of my life, life's work came from that situation.

Starting point is 00:42:14 So anytime we have a failure to really try to look at the gift or opportunity there. I do my best, Pam, to do that as well. I think, you know, we've done a lot of, we've gone to a lot of fun events together and I know both agree with this idea of like, can you see these difficult moments as gifts or opportunities? especially when you think about all that's happening in the world, what happened at the Capitol, or I'm also thinking about all the politics right now, all the things that are happening with COVID and the changes in life. How would you say people can actually do that? What's the steps they might take? Well, sometimes, like I just mentioned in the moment, you can't see what that is right now

Starting point is 00:43:08 yeah um until it's run its full course uh but you know a good step is is to and i know that you have the um you use this in your work, is to control the controllables. There's so much going on in our world right now that is so outside of our control. So what is it, where can we focus? You know, we hear Tony Robbins say, where focus goes, energy flows. And so if we're focusing on all of the bad things, then we're going to feel bad. So if we can focus on the things that we can control, just those little things, you know, being closer to your family or a pet and gratitude has such a big part of being able to change our mindset to a more empowering point of view, because we can't feel two emotions at the same time.

Starting point is 00:44:09 We can't feel fear or anger or disappointment, frustration, all of those, and feel gratitude and love at the same time. Our brain won't let us do that. So one strategy, in addition to focus on what you can control, is to more often as not to try to focus on the things that you really, really love your, your beautiful family, your furry family, the things that that you really love. And so that will put your mindset into a more of a state of gratitude. And that can help shift us. Awesome. What have you been doing during this time period, Pam, just to make sure that your mind is working for you, not against you, and you're not sabotaging your own success. Tell us a bit about your daily practices. Oh, yes. So a daily practice is that I have a morning practice. And so every day I get up and, and it's different for everyone. But some of the things to have a

Starting point is 00:45:13 morning practice or a morning ritual that really helps you set your day off is you could meditate, or you can do some type of reading, or you can journal, or you can be out in of reading or you can journal or you can be out in nature or you can think about, you know, like I just mentioned, things that you're grateful for. And so I've really gotten into a really solid morning practice and it really helps me start my day in a more empowering way. So I'm sure that's something you would encourage all of us to consider, right? Like what do we do in the morning and just to get our mind right. Absolutely. Yeah, it's a game changer. Pam, I'm so grateful for your time and your energy today. It's so fun to talk to you. You're one of my dearest friends and I go to you when I'm struggling with things. So I want to thank you so much for your friendship. But also the value that you

Starting point is 00:46:10 provided people today. And here's a few things I wrote down that if people didn't take notes during this time, they should. So I love the quote. What you said is like what we believe to be true. We can't believe anything else. I think that's powerful. And it also makes me think about how you shouldn't believe everything you think, right? Because when you that it's true, you know, it's like, okay, then you can't really see anything else. So disrupting that disrupting the ways that we sabotage our success, I appreciated what you talked about of being aware, but then using a PQR to help us disrupt that negative pattern and then be empowered to choose our response. I love just the conversations and

Starting point is 00:46:55 the stories of growing up and how that was an opportunity for you. Like it was even you were able to reframe all the struggles into opportunities and loved hearing your story about Mount Everest and the person who introduced you to running. And this idea of like taking this I am phrase and using that as transforming how you see yourself, right? That's what I heard you do with the I am a marathoner. So thank you so much for joining us today, Pam. I'm what I heard you do with the I am a marathoner. So thank you so much for joining us today, Pam. I'm so grateful that you're here. Thank you, Sindran. Our friendship is one I

Starting point is 00:47:33 really, really treasure. So it's been great to be on your program today. Thank you. Sure. So Pam, for everybody who's listening, tell us how we might reach out to you and connect with you if we want to learn more about your coaching or your speaking or other things that you have going on right now. Awesome. Thanks, Sindra. Yes, my email is Pam at coachforsuccess.com. And my website is www.coachforsuccess.com. And I do individual coaching.

Starting point is 00:48:04 I run mastermind groups and I also run mental fitness bootcamp trainings. Awesome. So I will put all that on the show notes. So as you're listening, if you're listening on an iPhone, for example, you can just scroll up and you can click on Pam's website to contact her. Pam, do you have any final advice for everyone who's listening? Success in life is 80% psychology or mindset and only 20% strategy. So mindset is everything and it's the key to success. Awesome, Pam. That was a wonderful way to end. Thank you so much for joining us today. Thank you, Sindra. Way to go for finishing another episode of the High Performance Mindset.

Starting point is 00:48:50 I'm giving you a virtual fist pump. Holy cow, did that go by way too fast for anyone else? If you want more, remember to subscribe and you can head over to Dr. Sindra for show notes and to join my exclusive community for high performers where you get access to videos about mindset each week. So again, you can head over to Dr. Sindhra. That's D-R-C-I-N-D-R-A.com. See you next week.

High Performance Mindset | Learn from World-Class Leaders, Consultants, Athletes & Coaches about Mindset - 403: Mental Fitness is a Key Success Strategy for Leaders Under Pressure with Pam Solberg-Tapper, Leaders Under Pressure Expert and 7 Continents Marathoner

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