High Performance Mindset | Learn from World-Class Leaders, Consultants, Athletes & Coaches about Mindset - 406: How Your Internal Judge Limits You

Episode Date: February 3, 2021

Shirzad Chamine, a Stanford lecture and NY Times Bestseller said, “Most successful and highly-achieving people are tortured by their own Judges.”   In this episode, Dr. Cindra Kamphoff talks about how your internal judge limits you. You experience more happiness, creativity, and curiosity when you reduce your judge. Next time you notice your judge without judgement, be kind to yourself, and tell yourself why that judge is plain wrong.  Power Phrase this Week: “I work to be kind to myself and reduce my judge. I reduce it’s power.  

Hi friends, my name is Dr. Sindra Campoff, a national leader in the field of sport and performance psychology. Every week I'm on the local radio sharing my top tips on exactly how to develop the mindset of the world's best so you can accomplish all your dreams. Get ready for a jammed packed episode focused on practical tips to help you get after your goals and step out of your comfort zone. Let's go. Time to check in with Cinder Kampoff. And we are talking about how your internal judge can limit you. Cinder, you usually start with a quote. What's the quote today? Yes, this is from Shirzad Sharmain. He's a Stanford lecturer, New York Times bestseller. He said, most successful and highly achieving people are tormented by their judge.

So what are we talking about today with our judges? Well, we're talking about your internal judge. And Lisa, I have a story to start with. This weekend, we were traveling for my sons and they were playing basketball. And I was keeping the books and I was convinced the score was wrong. It was one point off. So kind of uncharacteristically of me, went over to the ref um the ref table you know and we only had four seconds left just to confirm and the other coach got really angry and loud

needless to say even though i was right they didn't change the score um but it really didn't matter at the end because my son's team won in this really cool last second shot. Oh, I gotta love those. But later that night, I was really judging myself. You know, I was like, oh my gosh, Cinder, that was so silly. What were you thinking? Because it was typically not something I would ever do. Well, I know you're not alone. We can really easily judge ourselves. But what do you really mean by when you're talking about our internal judge exactly? Well, we all experience ways that we get in our own way, and everyone has this internal judge.

It was actually developed during childhood to keep us safe. But in adulthood, it doesn't always help us, and it really does severely limit our own success and our happiness. And because it really compels us to find faults in ourselves or other people or our circumstances or our family or our business or even our team. And we can judge ourselves, Lisa, without even recognizing it. I've been really working to notice my judge and reduce it because I know that it limits me just like it limits everybody who's listening. So can you talk a little bit about the negative impacts of our judge? You know, we really judge in three ways. We judge ourselves, we judge others, and we judge events and circumstances. And when we're judging ourselves, for example, we're thinking, you know, what's wrong with me? Or when we're judging others, it's like, what's wrong with you? Or what's wrong with things around me? And I think what's important is our judge really does tell us this lie that we can't be happy with our current circumstances. You know, people sometimes think they'll be happy if they get a new house or a new car, a new job or new relationship, but it really doesn't change

happiness a lot. And I would say, you know, just generally judgment creates anxiety, guilt, shame, anger, and we can't be creative or curious or change when we're really tapping into our judge. And so what do we do to reduce our judge? The first thing I would say is we have to witness our judge without judgment. And sometimes, you know, I noticed myself saying, well, like I did this weekend, like that was supposed to lead to drugs. What were you thinking? That's with judgment. So I just have to notice my thoughts and work to take the judgment away. And just, I think when we remember that our judgment is just an automatic mental habit,

it's a mental habit of feeling and thinking. It's really, you know, we developed it to survive and then we can soften that voice. For example, if you, you know, after making a mistake, you might just say, you know, Hey buddy, next time you got to pay attention and learn from this. So if you soften that voice, it becomes less of a judge and you can really strengthen a new neural pathway so you judge yourself less. So do you have a final point for us today? Yeah, at least I would say, you know, for everyone listening, I would just ask you, you know, what would change in your life if you experienced your judge less? I was reading a book by Sherzod Shermaine, who I quoted at the beginning. And he said, when you are in your judge for more than one second, you're sabotaging yourself. And that

was really impactful for me. So just noticing that judge without judgment is key. And can you summarize for us today? Sure, I would say, you experience more happiness, creativity and curiosity when you really reduce your judge. So next time, notice your judge without judgment, be kind to yourself, and you could even tell yourself why your judge is just inaccurate or wrong. So you usually send us into our week with a power phrase. What can we use as kind of a mantra this week? I work to be kind to myself and reduce my judge. I reduce its power. Reducing our judge. Sindra Kampoff, if we want to get in touch with you and learn more about what it is that you do,

where do we go? You can head over to Dr. Sindra, so D-R-C-I-N-D-R-A dot com. Hi, friends. My name is Dr. Sindra Kampoff, a national leader in the field of sport and performance psychology. Every week, I'm on a local radio sharing my top tips on exactly how to develop the mindset of the world's best so you can accomplish all your dreams. Get ready for a jammed, packed episode focused on practical tips to help you get after your goals and step out of your comfort zone.

Let's go.