High Performance Mindset | Learn from World-Class Leaders, Consultants, Athletes & Coaches about Mindset - 428: The 3 Gifts Technique

Episode Date: May 4, 2021

This week on the podcast we talk about The 3 Gifts Technique. Consider a difficulty you are experiencing right now – the difficulty could be big or small. Then, ask yourself, how can this be a gift? The gift could come from an increased knowledge, power to grow your mental muscle in a new way, or inspiration where your action becomes a gift. When you have the ability to turn everything into a gift, you have nothing to fear because everything is an opportunity in some way.    Power Phrase this Week: “I see the gift in every difficulty.”  Quote of the Week: “Every problem in your life carries a gift inside it.” Richard Bach   

Hi friends, my name is Dr. Sindra Kampoff, a national leader in the field of sport and performance psychology. Every week I'm on the local radio sharing my top tips on exactly how to develop the mindset of the world's best so you can accomplish all your dreams. Get ready for a jammed packed episode focused on practical tips to help you get after your goals and step out of your comfort zone. Let's go. Time to check in with Dr. Sindra Kampoff. I get a little mental toughness. This week, we're talking about the three gifts technique and you start us off with a quote. This is Richard Bach. He said, every problem in your life carries a gift inside it. And so what's an example that you have to start off today with?

Well, this is a powerful example of how Mothers Against Drunk Driving started. And Candy Littner started it in 1980. That year, more than 21,000 Americans were actually killed in accidents involving a drunk driver. And now, you know, 35 years or so later, more than that, this number has decreased by over 50%. And, you know, Kandi didn't look to become an activist, but did after her 13-year-old daughter, Terry, was killed by a drunk driver. And I was reading this story about how she was sitting in her daughter's bedroom and vowed, you know, several days after the funeral to prevent death like hers. That's tragic. But how does that story connect with our topic? So today we're talking about the three gift techniques, and it's based on the work of Shirzad Sharmain.

I've been using it to apply it and applying it to my own life, and it's really had a profound impact, and so that's why I wanted to share it today. And it comes from the belief that every difficulty or problem can be viewed as a gift if we really choose to find it. And, you know, everything big or small can be viewed as a gift if we really choose to find it. And, you know, everything big or small can be viewed from this lens because when we kind of stay angry and frustrated about a difficulty, we can't really see the problem with a clear head. And I think Candy's example

is a really powerful one. Wow, you know, like people even finding gifts in the most difficult circumstances. So, Cinder, what's the first way to see a gift in a difficulty that's presented to us? So, we're going to talk about three kind of gifts that we can view in a difficulty. And we can choose any of these three or all three of them. But the first gift would be like the gift of knowledge. And the thing you could think about is like, what knowledge do I need to gain so that the payoff is going to be larger than, you know, what is it costing me right now? So, for example, you might say, well, you know, I'm do I need to gain so that the payoff is going to be larger than, you know, what, what is it costing me right now? So for example, you might say, well, you know, I'm glad I made that mistake in my business this year because next year I'm going to double the number of clients I have, you know, or

I'm so glad I made that mistake in sport because next time I'm going to know what to do. And sometimes this knowledge is obvious. Sometimes it's really not. We have to really, you know, dig deep into what we're experiencing. But the question you could just ask yourself is, you know, what is all the knowledge or wisdom that I could gain right now that would serve me in the future? You could even maybe imagine yourself in two years with this new knowledge and wisdom and think about what do you need to learn? Okay, so gift one is what knowledge will I need to gain so the payoff

will be greater. And what's gift two? Gift two, we're going to call power. And think about what sort of mental muscle or power you need to grow so that you can handle this right now. And maybe think of your mental muscle like a muscle that you would develop in the weight room, right? It's kind of like a physical muscle, but we're talking about a mental muscle. So what needs to grow in you? Maybe it's your forgiveness or your compassion with yourself or more empathy for yourself or other people. And Lisa, as I was kind of trying to think of a great example of this, there's so many examples I can think of on my own life.

But one of the most powerful examples was when I really struggled as an athlete in college. That helped me grow in my mental toughness and strengthen my mental toughness because of my struggles. And that's actually what got me into this field. So the second one is the gift of power. The gift of power. And what's the last way that we can use the three gift technique? The last way is inspiration. And so think about, you know, what action or inspirational action do you want to commit to? And so the action is really the gift. Like Candy Littner is a great example of she started this institution because of her daughter's death, right? That was the inspiration.

So the inspiration can be related to the difficult thing or it could be not related. But the point is that you ask yourself, you know, what committed inspiration or action can you commit to, you know, after this difficult thing? So maybe it's like I lost my job, but I will find an opportunity that's twice as better for me. Or I'm so glad that I, you know, I dealt with that difficulty because it helped me declare this next intention of inspiration. And, Cinder, can you summarize today for us? Yeah, Lisa, I'd say, you know, consider a difficulty you're experiencing right now, and this could be big or small, and then ask yourself, you know, how could this be a gift? And the gift could come from an increased knowledge, a power to grow in a new way,

or an inspiration where your action becomes the gift. And I think the power of this, Lisa, is when you have the ability to turn everything into a gift. You don't have anything to fear, because everything's going to be an opportunity in some way. Right. I like that. What's the power phrase that's going to take us through the week? I see the gift in every difficulty. I like the three gifts. Very, very good. I bet a lot of people are using that right now in something that's going on in their life. Cindra, if people have questions or want to follow along with what it is you do, maybe check out your podcast. Where do we need to go? What

do we need to do? Lisa, they can head over to Dr. Sindra, so D-R-C-I-N-D-R-A.com. And my podcast and book and everything else you'd need, my contact information is over there. Way to go for finishing another episode of the High Performance Mindset. I'm giving you a virtual fist pump.

Holy cow, did that go by way too fast for anyone else? If you want more, remember to subscribe and you can head over to Dr. Sindra for show notes and to join my exclusive community for high performers where you get access to videos about mindset each week. So again, you can head over to Dr. Sindra. That's D-R-C-I-N-D-R-A dot com. See you next week.