High Performance Mindset | Learn from World-Class Leaders, Consultants, Athletes & Coaches about Mindset - 429: Becoming Limitless with Monica Coleman, Certified Professional Coach and Limitless Methodology

Episode Date: May 9, 2021

Monica Coleman is the founder of Inside Information Coaching and Consulting, LLC, and architect of the Limitless Methodology. As an athlete herself, Monica has always been intrigued by the link between mindset, performance and leading a successful, satisfying life. Her work over the past 15 years with athletes and executives created a birds-eye view of the challenges inherent to high achievers in both their professional and personal lives. Monica's natural curiosity, her ability to inspire others, and her commitment to ensure her clients' move from potential to success has made her a pioneer in the field of performance coaching. As a Certified Professional Coach (CPC) since 2009, Monica meets clients wherever they are on their journey, helping them to create a successful pathway to the lives they have thought were unattainable. Monica crafted the Limitless Methodology to apply the principles in a different setting and with a larger scope, enabling more people to unlock the top performer who resides within them. Her dream is for every individual she meets to better understand their true nature. Bearing witness to other's success and watching their transformation is the greatest expression of her true purpose in life. In this episode, Monica and Cindra discuss: What it means to be limitless Strategies to become limitless Her PEAK acronym Why reducing our judgement is important How intention, expectation and attachment intersect How the ego contributes to our performance HIGH PERFORMANCE MINDSET SHOWNOTES FOR THIS EPISODE: www.cindrakamphoff.com/429 HOW TO ENTER THE PODCAST GIVEAWAY TO WIN $500 CASH: www.drcindra.com/giveaway FB COMMUNITY FOR THE HPM PODCAST: https://www.facebook.com/groups/highperformancemindsetcommunity FOLLOW CINDRA ON INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/cindrakamphoff/ FOLLOW CINDRA ON TWITTER: https://twitter.com/mentally_strong TO LEARN MORE ABOUT MONICA: https://insideinformationcoaching.com/ Love the show? Rate and review the show for Cindra to mention you on the next episode: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/high-performance-mindset-learn-from-world-class-leaders/id1034819901

Hey, my name is Cindra Campoff and I'm a small-town Minnesota gal, Minnesota nice as we like to say it, who followed her big dreams. I spent the last four years working as a mental coach for the Minnesota Vikings, working one-on-one with the players. I wrote a best-selling book about the mindset of the world's best and I'm a keynote speaker and national leader in the field of sport and performance psychology. And I am obsessed with showing you exactly how to develop the mindset of the world's best so you can accomplish all your goals and dreams. So I'm over here following my big dreams and I'm here to inspire you and practically show you how to do the same. And you know, when I'm not working, you'll find me playing Ms. Pac-Man.

Yes, the 1980s game Ms. Pac-Man. So take your notepad out, buckle up, and let's go. This is the high performance mindset. Once you become fearless, your life becomes limitless. Jamie Polonity once said, limitations only live in our minds, but if we use our imaginations, our possibilities become limitless. And Monica Coleman, who I interviewed today about being limitless, said limitless is an idea. All possibilities are there. Welcome to the High Performance Mindset Podcast. This is your host, Dr. Cinder Kampoff. I am an executive and performance coach, a keynote speaker, and the author of the best-selling book, Beyond Grit.

And I'm grateful that you are here. If you know that mindset is essential to your success, then you are in the right place today. And today I interview Monica Coleman, all about energy and becoming limitless. She is the founder of Inside Information Coaching and Consulting and the architect of the Limitless Methodology. As an athlete herself, in fact, an elite golfer, Monica has always been intrigued by the link between mindset performance and leading a successful and satisfying life. Her work over the last 15 years with athletes and executives really create a view of the challenges inherent in both high achievers

and both their personal and professional lives. As a certified professional coach since 2009, Monica meets clients where they are to help them create a successful path to the lives that they thought were unattainable. She's crafted the limitless methodology which we talk about in today's episode to apply the principles in various settings with a larger scope to help more people unlock the top performer that resides within them. My favorite parts of this episode is when she talks about perfection and how each of us are perfect just

the way that we are. And in this episode, Monica and I talk about what it means to be limitless, strategies that you can use to become limitless, her peak acronym, and how we can use it, why reducing our judgment is really important to our performance, and how intention, expectation, and attachment intersect, and how our ego contributes to our performance. If you enjoyed today's episode, we'd love for you to share this with a friend. Take a screenshot and share it with a friend or post it on social media and you can tag Monica and I. And for the full show notes along with a transcription of the interview, you can head over to cindracampoff.com slash 429 for episode

429. If you haven't already, head over to Facebook and you can join our High Performance Mindset community over there, where we go live with these episodes and these interviews. And the cool thing about that is you can leave us any questions and comments as we are live so that we can answer them live. So you can find us over on Facebook just by searching High Performance Mindset Community or wherever you're listening to this, you can look at the show notes. For example, if you are on an iPhone, you can just go to the show notes by scrolling up on the episode and you can find the link there for the Facebook community. All right, without further ado, let's bring on Monica.

Monica, thank you so much for joining me here on the High Performance Mindset Podcast. How is your morning going? My morning is going great. Thank you for having me here. This is a great start to my day. It's always nice to be out of the gates with a lot of energy. So I'm looking forward to having our conversation today. I am as well. And I know we're going to talk about a lot of things that can really be very powerful for people in terms

of their performance and in their life. And maybe just to get us started, Monica, tell us a little bit about what you're passionate about and what you're doing right now. Okay, so what I'm passionate about is it's always been twofold. I'm athletic. I've always been very athletic. As a matter of fact, the two flow experiences I've had, one has been playing golf and the other was skiing. So that's the way I tend to experience my life is through physical activity. So I am about to start my golf season. I am very close. Two years ago when the USGA were still running championships, I was the first alternate nationwide. If anybody had tripped

or fallen ill, I would have been the person who got to go to the championship. So I was waiting. So I'm hoping to return to that this year because now the championships are running again. And in addition to that, I also have a coaching company that I call Inside Information Coaching and Consulting. And my primary product that I use is Limitless. I use that for all sorts of performers across the board. So it's not just athletes, it's also executives and people who are trying to perform in relationships, sometimes people who are in transition, either changing jobs or changing significant others in their lives. So Limitless is a particularly useful vehicle for people who really want to

not just make the external changes that sometimes life requires, but really want to do some internal work at the same time. Because I always say the one thing that you take with you everywhere is you. So if you're going to invest in something, that's probably the one that will show the greatest return. I love it. I love it. Well, we're going to dive into more about your background, but I want to start with what is Limitless to you, because that's really what the topic of today is. Grounded Energy that I got from IPEC, the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching. I learned a lot about how people show up. And as I was learning about that, I realized that people really don't understand that we're here playing a game and that ego has a tendency to come in and create ideas about what can and can't be. And in reality, all possibilities exist always. So this idea that we're limited is just that, an idea. It's absolutely not the truth. And quantum physics would tell you that. So there's plenty of science out there for people who love the science to help us understand that

what is really the truth is we don't know. And so to limit ourselves doesn't make any sense. And the idea of being a small little baby, right, perfect little being comes in. You don't have a lot of that slapped on you. You're essentially a blank canvas. But then people start throwing paint at your canvas. Well, and by the way, when you're little, you're not throwing the paint. They're throwing the paint. But you develop an ego that then sort of feeds on itself. And then

consequently, we end up thinking the same things all the time and become very limited. So the idea of limitless is to remove some of that and to give people the ability to create their own mindset. And beyond that, their own belief structure about what this life is. So if I'm thinking that life is, I, you know, I grow up, I get good grades, I go to college, I get married, blah, blah, blah, you know, all this stuff, that's fine. You're on a path, but you don't understand that there are a multitude of other paths that you could be on. And when people get knocked off the path, all of a sudden they're like, what do I do now? I'm not on the path. And, you know, it's this, I think it's a mind bending time for most people where all of a sudden they're like, whoa.

So transition is a time where limitless becomes particularly applicable. And it's also applicable to people who know they've got more inside of them that they're not exploring. And I get that. I don't get that all the time, but I get it fairly frequently with executives, people who are immensely successful. But part of the reason they're so successful is because they're curious. And people just want to take themselves out for a spin and think, okay, how could I be on this ride? If life's an amusement park, I'm on a ride, right? And I'm having a great time. I love my ride, but what other rides are out there, right?

So I get those people too. I love it. I love the idea of removing these hurdles, internal hurdles in particularly, and how that we're maybe conditioned to think that life has limits, but really that it is limitless. So Monica, what would you tell us to be kind of the first start of helping us understand that our life is limitless, or our performance is limitless as well? Well, I think one of the first things is

to understand that you're not who you are, who you think you are, rather. So, so you cindra are are you were that perfect little baby and you came into life and cindra has been created over the years right it's the same with monica but there's another part of us there's a part of us that can observe cindra and monica and that part of us is probably the most important asset that you have or ability. And in you, because you're human, it's one of those things that we have as humans, not every other species can do that. And we can, so we have the ability to look and see, okay, so what am I, Monica actually believing? So I kind of can pull out of myself for those who meditate. It's essentially that experience, but you can do it in the moment.

You don't have to just be sitting there in a meditative state. You can actually observe yourself and go, oh, I'm feeling this or I'm thinking that. And wow, what's that? And is that what I want to think or feel? And now all of a sudden I have my power back. You know, now I'm really questioning anything that limits me because there's no sense in limiting yourself. It does take practice. It's funny.

It's one of the simplest things to do, but people just don't think about doing it. It's not like it's rocket science, but it's hard in a way that it's a habit and it's one that you want to create in life so that you have the ability to look at it. Now, in the moment when I'm out skiing and I'm moving really fast, I'm not necessarily thinking that much. I'm more with everything. But in flow moments, what happens is this person, Monica, sort of disappears. And what happens is I become one in skiing with the terrain. It's just a, it's a whole different experience. You become one with the mountain.

You literally are aware that your body is doing things, but you're not, Monica is not in control. That was one of the big things I got from the flow experiences. It's not about control. It's about flowing with what's there and seeing what the possibilities are as you're moving through it. I'm thinking about being more automatic, right? And sometimes we can overthink. And that's one of the barriers I see in terms of kind of limitless, kind of what you're talking about, if it's in our life or in our performance, what are the barriers that you see, Monica,

getting in the way of people's limits or believing they're limitless? Well, the primary one is ego because ego is where all the judging goes on. It's where expectation and attachment lie. And ego is not a bad thing. If I didn't have an ego, I wouldn't be able to have the experience that I'm having. I have to be separate in order to have an experience. So if I'm one with everything all the time, now there's not really a separate experience if I don't acknowledge my individual, right? So you have're with everything, we're part of that.

So yes, there's this loss of self that happens in flow. But at the same time, if I want to have an emotion, it's going to be my emotion, right? So, you know, I think we have to have both pieces. And so while ego gets in the way and it causes most of the difficulty, it's also what allows us to have an experience. So it's required, but at the same time, if I can observe it, I can be as powerful as I can possibly be. So those are, judgment is probably the first place that people start to comprehend when they start realizing how much judging they're doing. There's the ability to say, whoa, wow, like I am limiting myself and the world is.

The world is, especially our environment right at the moment, because there's so much divisiveness and what I'll call opposed thinking where we're just opposing each other all the time on things. It's, you know, this is right, and that's wrong, and this is good, and that's bad. And it's like, wait a minute, lots of shades of gray here. Monica, I've been, one of my goals at the beginning of the year was to reduce my judge, because I could see the ways that it got in my own way, particularly judging myself. And it's been pretty cool how I've been on this journey for the last five months now. And actually, I do see that I am reducing my own judge. But there was other things that happened that I wasn't expecting, such as my relationship

with my oldest son got stronger because I was judging myself less and then I was judging him less. And so it's really interesting how this judgment of self or others or our circumstances really do get in our way of really our potential, which I think is really what you're talking about. Well, so here's the thing. Potential doesn't exist if you don't believe it's there or you're blocking it. It only exists when you shift. And so you also know this from an energy perspective. When we shift our energy, which is what's happening, when we stop judging, there's an enormous shift in energy that goes on. And it not only impacts you, it impacts every single person that is around you and every relationship you have, not only impacts you, it impacts every single person that is around you and every relationship you have, not only to people, but also in a way to things. So, you know, when we're

not judging the, you know, the image in the mirror, right, in the morning, that's an example. All of a sudden things change internally, right? So there's all these things that shift when you realize that you're judging because you've gone from believing something is one way to realizing that, oh my gosh, it's not. It is possible to look in that mirror and go, what an amazing, amazing body. It gets me where I need to go every day without fail. Unbelievable. Are you kidding me? The trillions of cells can do this instead of there's that wrinkle in my forehead or whatever else it is that you look at on your face. So, you know, there's, there's, it's just an enormous difference for, especially with self-judgment, but also with things around you.

Relationships, energy and trains. So when we stop judging, we shift our energy. We tend to be more anabolic, meaning more in growth mode. So when we're more anabolic than everything around us, it doesn't have a chance to be where it is. If you refuse to be down in the lower levels of energy, you have a tendency to bring everybody else up with you. So it all plays together. I would love to talk to you more about energy. And I know that you did some work with Bush Schneider, who is the founder of IPEC. And one of the things I want to talk to you a little bit about is your work with golf. And you were telling me earlier about how

if you hit a golf ball with level one energy versus a different level of energy, there's a difference. And I'd love to kind of talk to you more about what you see there. And so maybe just give us an overview of energy to start with for those people who haven't gone through IPEC or maybe aren't really haven't really thought too much about their own energy. Right, right. So energy is just the way you show up. Everything has an energetic signal. So everything in life is energy. The table that's the desk that's right in front of me is energy that's not moving very quickly. So it's solid. There's an energy that most people, when they walk into a room can feel, you feel the energy of the room. Now that's not solid, right? So energy is intangible. And what it does is it gives us a way to really look at how highly conscious are people, how limited are they,

right? So lower levels of energies come with a lot of limitation. We call it catabolic energy because it's a contracting energy. And a lot of people will, the judge is now on for a lot of people, oh, you know, now catabolic energy is bad. Anabolic energy is good. Anabolic energy is more about growth and potential. So if that's what you want, then that's what you should use. Catabolic energy is about contracting because sometimes we need to do that in order to get away from danger, perhaps. Right. And sometimes we just, if we're conscious about it, sometimes we just want to create a situation where somebody will help us. So for example, if I've had a rough day and I walked through the door and my husband is standing there and I want some sympathy from him, I will moan about my day and turn on

level one energy, which is essentially kind of in victim mode. And he'll rub my shoulders and say, oh, honey, and be nice to me and all the rest of that. So I have the ability to move through these levels. They're not good or bad. I would say in the lower levels, if we stay there too long, because there are catabolic hormone effects, literally physical effects in our body, it's not a great thing to stay there for an extended period of time, because it doesn't serve you. energy levels are where we have possibilities come into view. And what you notice as you go up the energy levels is that the amount of judging you're doing is markedly decreased, right? And so little by little by little, as we move through the energy levels, and it's this energy, there's a wonderful assessment called an energy leadership index assessment. And that assessment allows you to see where your energy is.

I highly recommend it for people who are curious about this and want to increase their level of consciousness. If you're looking to increase your level of consciousness, studying energy is a very good idea. But this assessment tells you where your energy is. And your energy is a lot like the stock market. It's all over the place all day long. So nobody's just, you're not at just a level five energy, or you're not just a level one energy.

It's not like that. You have all the energy levels because we're human, we all do, and you have the capacity to be in any of them. But you may not visit some of them as frequently as you might like. And the more you know about it, the easier it is to see it. And that observer gets stronger and more knowledgeable. And consequently, you understand what that intangible thing is when you walk into a room. And now you understand not only your energy, but you can read it around you very readily. It makes you far more powerful for leaders. It is a perfect way to become a more highly conscious leader. That's wonderful, Monica. I took the assessment. I have a good friend who went through IPEC coaching and I took it, I don't know how long ago,

maybe about four months ago. And it was really eye-opening for me. It's something that I've been really working towards in general, but it was really cool to see how I scored on that, right? And even though it's something that I've been really conscious of. So when you think about performance, right? And when we're performing with like level one energy, which is more of the victim, compared to the higher levels of energy, tell us how you see that impacting, like, let's say athletic performance and golf, since you're a very incredibly high level gol golf, since you're a very incredibly high level golfer and you work with a lot of golfers as well as other performers.

Mm-hmm. So I think that the way of understanding energy is to, and it's where I have gone with Limitless, is to take the concepts of energy and understand what's changing when we move from one energy level to the next. So there's a lessening of judgment. And the other major change is that the self, the sense of self is dramatically different. So when I'm in the lower energy levels, I don't feel as powerful as I do in the higher ones. So from an egoic perspective, and when I reached the highest energy levels, the I that I am really isn't there in the same way. And that's, that's the experience I had with flow both times. So when I am, and I have tons of golfers that I'm working with right now, cause it's, you know, that time of year where everybody's in because the season is about to start. And so I am working with a lot of them and people are coming in wanting to play better.

They really want to have that thing there. They've worked on their skill. They worked on their physical stuff. They're drinking the right stuff. They're eating the right stuff. They're getting enough sleep. I mean, they're doing all the things they can do to play better golf. And then they get out there and it's like, where did it go? I had it on the range and now it's gone. So they're

having that experience of, I don't, I don't like this feeling. And so, so what, what you need to understand about energy when you study energy is not only the energy levels and about judging, but you have to understand what's going on with ego. I teach a whole class in Limitless on ego. So the lower levels, I don't believe that I'm powerful. I don't believe I can make a change. So consequently, I'm not making one, right? And so then as we move up the energy levels, ego gets stronger. So ego's weak in those lower energy levels. Ego gets stronger. Now I believe I'm all that. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Right? I can do this. And that's an awesome place to play from.

I am, you know, it's great. People talk about confidence all the time. They want more confidence standing over a shot that's got to go over water, 200 yards, blah, blah, blah. It's like, okay, I get it. I don't, nobody wants to hit it in the water. But that again, is that ego coming to bear and wanting to have that confidence. Once we move into highest energy levels, the self really starts to disappear. Go starts to disappear. And consequently, fear isn't there. There isn't any, and there's nothing I need to be. There's the sense of, wow, what do you mean? I am unique

unto myself. And that is one of the definitions of perfect. So we're already perfect. There's no need to be anything. So if I'm standing over a tough shot, if I don't need it to go somewhere, I'm not going to create any tension. And if I don't create any tension, and particularly in golf, if I don't create any tension, that's a great thing. And now I can, I have access to all the potential, the physical and skill potential that I've built is now available to me. I'm not blocking it. Yeah. With tension. I'm thinking about several high-level performers as I'm listening to you. And I'm thinking if you stand over the shot and you have no tension and there's no expectations and you already feel like you know that you're perfect, how that can be

really freeing. And I'm thinking about people who are listening and they say okay Monica I totally want to feel that way every day you know right and I that's what I wanted to ask you is obviously this is a process um to move up in energy levels but you know um what are your thoughts on how do you get there? And I know you have a system called Limitless that we can dive into. But what would your answer be to that question just to get us started? You know, the biggest, the biggest piece is what I touched on earlier about learning to turn on your observer. And it's, you know, anything that, that you're, any emotion that you experience that comes in, it's just a signpost. It's coming as a message. And the message is not that you're bad. It's not that you're broken. It's none of that. The message is,

wow, I have a belief in there that's telling me this is scary. I have a belief in there that's telling me this is dangerous. I have a belief that's telling me, and don't get me wrong, there are times when things are dangerous and there are times when things are scary but the vast majority of things that we face day in and day out are not and so in turn there's this story that gets built right now sometimes the stories are about what's going on right now other times the stories are about the future and there is no truth in the future it hasn't happened yet yet. Okay. So whatever story you're making up, make sure it serves you. Right. So what's the point of that? So my, my point in all of this is, is the easiest thing to do at the very beginning is just to turn on the observer and start

to catalog or start to understand what's already in that brain of yours. As you sit there, you're the perfect sum total of every experience you've had. And so you're not even responsible for what you believe, especially the stuff that came in when you're a little person, right? So understanding that, and I'm not saying going back and doing therapy, I'm saying just understanding that it's there. We don't need to know why it's there. We just need to know that, oh, it's there and it's a thing. And it might be a thing that I don't want to believe. Like maybe I don't want to understand myself as that limited being. So maybe I'll just decide not to feel that way about it. And there are, and I tell the kids, especially the teens that I work with, because the parents, when I start talking about this, they're like, no good, no bad, no right, no wrong. I know.

This kid under control. Very different than maybe what they've been conditioned to think. Exactly. But I also make the point, and it's the same for all of us, actions have consequences. When we throw a stone into the pond, there are ripples, right? And you know there are going to be ripples and know that there will be ripples, but decide, okay, am I willing to deal with whatever the consequence of that action is? Because the game of life has rules. And when you don't play by them, sometimes the responses you won't like, but to come at that decision from a fearful place or from a limited place doesn't allow you to see all the options.

For people who deal with situations that are tough, that aren't going away, what do they do? I get people who are older. I'm in a marriage. I'm not happy. I have all this responsibility. And so I've got all this stuff and I can't do anything. Now we're victim to life, right? Right.

Absolutely. It's not the truth. You have a lot of choices. Yeah. That's why coaching people who are in transition is very gratifying because once you open their minds, it's not like I can go change the circumstances of people's lives. I don't change the circumstances of people's lives. I do change the way they're thinking about them and what they believe. And then they go out and they change everything in life that

they want to change. So. I love everything that you're saying so far. And I'm thinking that the thing that's kind of hitting home with me most is this idea of perfect and just be, you know, knowing that you're perfect just the way you are, because I think there's so much judgment that we can have of ourself and our circumstances. Monica, I want to talk a little bit about your system Limitless. And I love the modules you have. I'm going to read off some of them, and then we can dive into some of these ideas. But you have a module on judgment, another one on intention, expectation, and attachment, a third one on ego, a fourth one on consciousness, energy basics, the process, process, process, which I agree with, confidence, creating your experience are some of the modules let's let's talk a little bit about intention expectation and attachment and you know you you kind of describe stop shooting all over yourself

which I think is awesome and I'm thinking in performance there you know you're you know you want to do well or I'm thinking about a lot of athletes I work with who want to do really well and maybe they are attached. Their self is attached to their performance, and they struggle, especially times where they don't perform up to their expectations. So tell us a little bit about intention, expectation, and attachment, and what you think is most important there. Well, the most important piece is intention, because intention is what you want to set, And intention is what allows the energy to start flowing in a particular direction. So it's important, you know, if you don't have a goal in mind, then you'll end up driving all over the place, right? You've got to have a destination that you're reaching for.

However, generally speaking, people set goals and people really understand the process at this point of setting goals. They've got pretty good at it. People know what smart goals are. They have a tendency to want to jump right into that and have these great goals. And I personally am one to set the high bar. I love having a high bar out there because I don't get attached to it. So if I'm not attached to it, whether I get there or not, it's not going to create a lot of catabolic energy for me and a lot of unhappiness. So I, I like goals. I think they're important,

but they're, they're, they were, I would prefer, and I do a whole class on goal setting. Limitless goals are just intentions. They're an intention for what you intend to do, right? And there's a whole class on process, process, process, because the really in the end, the process is the goal and the goal is the process, right? So there's really no difference between the two. And there's this sense of I'm working towards something, but it's actually the work that is the goal itself, right? If we do the work, we will get an outcome. It's a foregone conclusion. It's just people put this goal and that's where expectation and attachment come in because all of a sudden I've got a goal. I call expectation and attachment peanut butter and jelly. They're almost always together. If I find

one, I find the other. They're usually, I've got an expectation and the reason I've got an expectation is because I got all attached to something. That's where intention, it's softer. Intentions are a little bit softer than goals. That doesn't mean they aren't clear. They are pinpoint accurate in terms of clarity. That's very important. But at the same time, I want to intend that, but also understand that this is a process and there'll be lots of things that come in that I didn't even know existed as possibilities. Because everything exists as a possibility in the quantum field.

Life is limitless. So we can't anticipate. We can set a course and then go and see what happens. Right. But expectation and attachment when it comes to athletics or for leadership, when you're in meetings, when you're in a situation where you're going to be thinking on your feet, expectation and attachment are killers. So if I came into this, this podcast today and had a lot of expectation and attachment about what this is going to do, I wouldn't be available to our conversation in the way that I am. I had no expectations about what we were going to be talking about.

I provided you with some information. I have no idea where you're going to go with it. And I'm perfectly happy to be that way. There's no prep I need to do with it other than making sure my mind is clear and my energy is where I want it. Otherwise, you know, then I just show up and I talk. So I think that it allows life to flow and it caused, we have when I'll never, Bruce coined this phrase and I'll never forget it when he said it, there's effortless power and powerless effort. If we want effortless power, we're not trying to control life. We're moving with it, right? We have an intention. We have a clear view of what it is we're intending,

right? Yeah. But then we're going to move with what is. That's how it becomes effortless power. Otherwise, we're trying to control the things around us all the time. And inevitably, that comes from fear. It's a fear based behavior to try and control everything around you all the time. I am thinking about this word trust as I'm listening, you know, like trust in when you just were talking about this interview, and you're like, all I need to do is clear my mind and be in my, you know, cannabolic energy. And then, you know, I'm just kind of thinking about trusting, especially high level performers. They've spent years and years mastering their craft.

And then sometimes they push or press or try too hard. Right. And I'm thinking about this idea of expectation and attachment is peanut butter and jelly. Do you think like this expectation come first and then attachment? And how would you help somebody unravel that? Well, a lot of that it's interesting because, again, I get a lot of golfers and I actually like sports, especially with the teens, because it's a very easy way to get into this. With adults, we're usually dealing with a pain point over something or with the high performers, the ones who really don't have any pain when they come in. We're trying to understand where they're limiting themselves. So usually I look at where the judgment is and where we're bumping up against something. So, or where is something that

I want? So if there's something that I want that I don't have, then we've got to figure out what the process is for new maneuvering. And in, in doing that, inevitably you will bump up against people's attachments and expectations that they already have. So one of the, one of the things that when it comes to performing, let's, I'm going to go back to golf. People create tension in their bodies when they have expectation and attachment. And so it's getting back to what do I want? And when I ask people, why do you, why do you want what you want? What's underneath that? What's creating that for you? So they'll tell me, well, I want, I want to play good golf. I want to win. I get,

I want to win all the time. All right. That's a normal, that's a normal expectation or attachment. And interestingly, I'm working with an 18 year old girl right now who has, and this is a phenomenal statistic. She has won five out of the seven golf tournaments she's entered this spring. And we, we started working together in January and it is remarkable. She has, she has enormous skill, right? Nobody wanted her from a D1 school, which is unbelievable to me because she's very, very talented, but she was newer. So they didn't really know her. So now they know her because I

think she's ranked, she's definitely top five in the country right at the moment, but I don't know, you know, I don't know exactly where she is, but anyway, the bottom line is looking, um, when I, when I work with people who are talented and most of the people I work with are extremely talented, it's removing the, I want to win piece and getting them to the if i do these things if i follow a process and i don't get attached to the outcome which by the way you don't control winning no always out of your control yeah so that that's a false thing to choose as the it really is about what experience do you want to have and what i what i get to when I dig down and you ask a lot of questions to get there in the coaching, when you're individually coaching somebody, when I dig underneath that,

why do we want to win? It all comes back to ego. Ego wants to feel good. Ego wants to know it's good enough. Ego wants not to be embarrassed. You know, ego wants all these things. And so expectation and attachment are born out of that. And when you were asking me earlier about what really gets in the way, it's that, right? But we can't have an

experience without ego. So it's being able to be with an ego that wants these things and wants to feel certain things and believes that it can be more and believes that it can be, is terrified that it could be less, right? That's right. So getting around that and getting people to really truly believe that if I win this tournament, I'm not more. If I lose this, I'm not less. Now I can be out there and enjoy myself. It would be like me coming to this call and thinking this is going to either make or ruin my career. Really? How much pressure? I wouldn't be able to put two words together. It serves no purpose. The truth is, if we really want to do something, I don't care what it is, if you want to become the best leader you can become, and you want to be able to stand up and run wonderful

meetings with people, the more you do it, the better you will become. And the way to become better is to turn on your observer, take a look at what you did, decide what you'd like to do differently. But none of that has to do with your value. Your value is not going to be more because you ran a great meeting and less if you didn't. Yes, the game of life might pay you more because you're good at running meetings, but don't confuse that with your value. Yeah. And I see a lot of high-level athletes connect their value to their performance, right? So I do some work with Olympians who are training for Tokyo this summer in a couple of months, right? And at least in track and field, they have to go

through the trials, which is in the United States at the end of June. So there's a couple of months, right? And at least in track and field, they have to go through the trials, which is in the United States at the end of June. So there's a lot of pressure kind of leading up to that, or there can be a lot, especially now with COVID, there's kind of less meets that they can kind of, you know, go out there and compete in. And I'm thinking about, you know, how it's really easy to attach, you know, your performance with your worth and maybe even the way that you get comments from others.

You might get in the media, right? So you're sort of having to work against maybe how the system is built so that you don't see your value based on your performance. A hundred percent. Cinder, you're hitting the nail right on the head. That is absolutely, absolutely what happens with athletes. And, you know, in the game of Olympic athletes, if I'm playing the Olympic athlete game, like I'm on the Olympic athlete ride, right? That's what I'm doing.

It's the same for me when I have, there's only one qualifier to get me into the national championship. I either play well or I don't, right? So there's a sense of, oh my gosh, there's only one opportunity. And if I don't do well now, right? But here's the question. And this is the best question for anybody to ask themselves. Is there anything else you'd rather be doing with your life? Really? And they would say, no, I love this. Right. Exactly. So is there any better use of your life? Right. I have this with people who are aspiring professional golfers. Right. And I had one. And as you were saying, the whole world was saying, maybe you should quit. Maybe you

should stop. You're getting older. You haven't made it. Blah, blah, blah. And and he came to me in one meeting. He said, you know, I'm just getting so much pressure from the outside. And I said to him, and he was starting to believe maybe I'm wasting my life. That's the whole thing. If you're pursuing what you want to pursue, and you can find a way to, in the game of life, support yourself and do what you need to do, how else would you spend your life? Right. And there will be a time for all athletes. There is not only athletes, but I would say corporate athletes. There will be a time where you won't want to do this anymore. Right. And then it will be time to do something else. But for now, and this is where limitation comes in because, okay, now I'm older and I have

a house and I have kids and I have two dogs and I have whatever else. And I have all this responsibility and all these financial commitments, right? So how do I make a change? Just because it might take a lot of maneuvering to make the change doesn't mean that you can't. Absolutely. And it's the same things with the athletes. If, if you try for your athletic years to reach that goal and you don't get there, that doesn't make you worth less. You went out and you lived your expectation and attachment, I mentioned that part of your module two is named Stop Shooting All Over Yourself. So I want to talk a little bit about that and how that connects with expectation and attachment. And the way I'm kind of thinking about it is that people might say, well, I should have done that or I should do this. And what should we do instead of using the word should in your opinion? Well, I think when something happens, I have something called a peak process.

It's perform, evaluate, adjust, and key into what was important, right? Okay. So perform, collect the data, right? And we're going to evaluate the data. We're not going to judge the data. All right. So, shoulding is usually judging. Yeah, that's good. I should have, right? Or I should do it this way. If it's future oriented, I should do it means that I have a belief that there's a right way to do it. And part of me thinks, oh, maybe I don't want to, right? So, there's a little bit of a

disagreement going on in there, which is great. That's an eye opener. So when you hear the word should, you want to start paying attention because there's something in there that it, again, it's a signpost, like an emotion. It gives you the ability to say, what am I believing here? And is it really what I want to believe? So, so that's where I think shooting is an important piece of expectation attachment, because it shows you if I, if it's, if it's post tense, right. If I'm doing the, when I'm doing the evaluating, if I find myself jumping into, I should have and judging, I know that I had an expectation and an attachment, right? So if I'm not, instead of creating the expectation and attachment, what I'd like to do is go in with it with a crystal clear intention.

So for a, at the top of a, at the top of a ski run, for example, to have the intention of, I am just going to allow my feet to tell me when to turn. I'm not going to try and control anything that goes on during this run. I'm going to move with the mountain, right? And allow that to tell me when to turn, which is what I had in that flow experience. It was the biggest piece of information that came out was that all the things I needed were already there. And by trying to control things, I was getting in the way. So it's this understanding when we're in that evaluation phase of peak that we want to evaluate what's there. And by setting a clear intention for what we're doing and ahead of time, right, then we can move into when we're actually performing, we can move into just letting things go. After we perform and we're evaluating, we're taking a look, we're keying in if there's any shooting going on there. We definitely want to get rid of the

judgment, understand where it comes from. So, you know, if I, the other day, I forgot what I was doing. I caught myself saying, oh, that was so stupid. And I thought, wow, that was judgment, right? I mean, I'm human. Just because I know all this does not mean that these things don't occur. I lived a human life. So in turn, all these things happen to me too. And I was like, wow. And then I thought, well, what's that about?

And I thought, you really don't have any tolerance for yourself sometimes when something you did was not the most intelligent thing in the moment. And then usually when I look at that, I realized that, oh, it was a little impulsive in my action that I took. And what I really, what I'm really saying to myself is maybe I want to slow down a little bit. Yeah. So yeah, if you take just a little time, it's not like, you know, a therapy session where we're going to spend a lot of time. It's just understanding, wow, what am I doing to myself? Because you're doing it in small pieces all the time. And in expectation and attachment, you'll catch little pieces of that, right? As you go through life, if you're observers on, it's having that observer on that is truly

the key to sustainable change, right? Monica, this is really good. The peak performance evaluation, what was the A and the K? A, adjust. So we perform, then we evaluate. So the evaluation tells us what adjustments we could make, what are the possibilities, then we pick one, right? And then we key into what became the most important thing, because once we look at the adjustments that could be made, one or two of those is likely going to be the key for golfers. You're going to go to the range and you're going to try and figure it out. And then you'll also keep that with you as you perform the next time. So it's, it's a way to come about making change. People have results, right?

Judgment comes in with results all the time. We start judging this, you know, the amount of judgment that goes on. I choked, I this, I that, I hear it. Or, you know, I didn't, I was so, I was so mad at my child because they, you know, they did something and I really was just really angry. I was such a bad parent with that kind of thing all the time. Absolutely. Right. So now we've got data. All right. That's just our data. It's not for judging. I like what you said about signposts. It made me think about data or just seeing our emotions as information. It is. It's just information. And you have the opportunity to have something different if you want something different. And all of this is helping us raise our level

of consciousness. And you used that word earlier, but for those people who maybe are unfamiliar with that word, how would you define it? It's just in my mind being conscious is being aware. It's just that simple. It's the understanding. To me, it's the understanding that life is limitless. All things exist, right? So at a high level of consciousness, I understand that. I'm aware of that. And when I'm a highly conscious person in the moment, what it means is that my awareness is turned on, not only externally, not only am I observing everything externally, I'm observing internally. And that's probably the most important observation because everything around us is just a stimulus for us, right?

So what we turn the stimulus into tells us about us. Yes. And what somebody else turns a stimulus into. So when I walk into a room, I'm a stimulus. If I walk in and somebody says, look at her, she looks so strange. That's not about me. Yeah, that's true.

And that's another really important piece because people, egos get all wound up and worried about what everybody else thinks all the time. So again, you know, understanding that I'm, I'm responsible for the reactions or the responses that I have. They're created inside of me. They're not created by the thing that I saw or the something that somebody said. So the responses are also limitless. Awesome, Monica. You've given us so many things to think about and really some great strategies. And I love this idea of limitless and being perfect the way that we are and kind of seeing

that perfection and how many times we see all the things that we do wrong or all the things that we are and kind of seeing that perfection and how many times we see all the things that we do wrong or all the things that we're not. So really great messages today. I know you have a program called Limitless that people can enroll in. So tell us a bit about the program, 10 modules, and just like what's included in there and then where people can find more information about that as well as your coaching? Sure. So I have a website at redefine you now.com. It's easy to go there and learn about Limitless. That's a course that I teach probably about twice a year. I do take people through it individually if they want to. It's a little bit more expensive to do that. It's 10 modules. It's 10 weeks. We basically go to 10 weeks straight. Each class has a period where I'm a PowerPoint presentation where I'm giving the information that's important. And then I leave

time for question and answer at the end. And then the other thing that people get when they come to Limitless is I give them an assignment every week that they can do that will help them to, I call it a mastery exercise because we're always working toward mastery of whatever topic we're working at. So, and, you know, mastery, of course, has no finish lines. You can just keep going for a very long time with mastery. So there's the 10 classes and there's work they do every week. And we go over the homework at the beginning of the class. And then we go through a new concept. I answer questions at the end. And then once people have been through that, I highly recommend that people do that first because it's a lot less expensive than coaching with me individually. Although I am willing to

take somebody through the course individually if they really want to do it. So then people can come in and have individual discussions about things that they want to do. Sometimes the classes aren't as full, so there's room for a little bit more individual discussion on a class. But, you know, hopefully the classes are relatively large. So because that's where it's priced, it's priced to be a larger group. So it's, it really makes a difference. Again, I said this earlier, Cinder, I think it's so important that if you're going to work on something, don't just develop the skill, don't just develop your physique, don't just develop all of the things you think you need to perform. Take a look at you, the you that you think you are, because I can guarantee you 100% that the you that you think you are, because I can guarantee you 100% that the

you that you think you are is a mirage, because you're really everything. And anything that's limiting you, that's getting in your way, it's not necessary. And it could very well make the difference across the board for you. Because when I work with somebody on golf or on leadership, it doesn't just change their golf or their leadership. It changes their being. And in turn, it changes everything. So. Yeah. Wonderful, Monica. Well, I'm so grateful that you spent some time with us today, really helping us think about judgment and leadership and performance and energy. And the things I really enjoyed talking to you about is this idea that potential doesn't exist unless we believe in it, right? And we talked about how limited is an idea and that

all possibilities are there. We just need to really see that. We talked about the difference between cannabolic and anabolic energy and how the ego is really judging. I loved your peak acronym to help us think about, you know, performing, but then evaluating and adjusting and then keying into the thing that we need to adjust. And I just really appreciated what you're talking about related to expectations and attachment. And I wrote down the word trust. Trusting yourself and trusting that you have everything that you need inside you. So thank you so much, Monica, for your time today and for your energy and your commitment

to helping everyone who's listening be their best today. You know what, thank you for having me. It was really a pleasure. It was very fun to speak with you and the podcast is wonderful. So good luck with it all. Thank you, Monica. Thank you very fun to speak with you and the podcast is wonderful. So good luck with it all. Thank you, Monica. Thank you.

Way to go for finishing another episode of the High Performance Mindset. I'm giving you a virtual fist pump. Holy cow, did that go by way too fast for anyone else? If you want more, remember to subscribe and you can head over to Dr. Sindra for show notes and to join my exclusive community for high performers, where you get access to videos about mindset each week. So again, you can head over to Dr. Sindhra. That's D-R-C-I-N-D-R-A.com. See you next week.