High Performance Mindset | Learn from World-Class Leaders, Consultants, Athletes & Coaches about Mindset - 433: Taming Your Inner Critic

Episode Date: May 28, 2021

In the episode today, Dr. Cindra talks with Lisa Kaye about how we all have an inner gremlin what is formed to protect us. Listening to this gremlin leads us to playing small and puts a cap on our limitless potential. To identify your gremlin message, ask yourself “What gets in the way of you moving forward in your life?” and then uncovering the underlying message to your response to that question. Dr. Cindra also reminds us that it’s important to remember to not believe everything you think!     Power Phrase of the Week: “I don’t believe everything I think.”  Quote of the Week: “You’ve been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” Louise Hay 

Hi friends, my name is Dr. Sindra Kampoff, a national leader in the field of sport and performance psychology. Every week I'm on the local radio sharing my top tips on exactly how to develop the mindset of the world's best, so you can accomplish all your dreams. Get ready for a jammed, packed episode focused on practical tips to help you get after your goals and step out of your comfort zone. Let's go. We're taking this time to check in with my friend, Cindra Kampoff, who is not in the state of

Minnesota. Cindra, you're gallivanting, you are working. Tell me what you're doing. I am in Houston with USA Track and Field, where I'm here at a track meet supporting our elite athletes. I have been working with USA Track and Field to get our elite athletes ready to qualify and perform well in Tokyo. So it's pretty fun to join you from Texas today. How cool you said that to join you from Tokyo. And I was like, I just got chills that you were kind of doing something that you it's right in your wheelhouse working in the headspace, getting people right and ready to go compete at their highest level. Absolutely. Yeah. And you know, it's one of my dreams to work with an Olympian, an Olympic team.

So it's a pretty cool opportunity just to support our U.S. athletes. And so even while doing that, you have time to come and talk to us here about taming your inner critic. Yes. Of course. I always love talking to you, Lisa. Thank you so much. I know it's taking time out of your day. I'm like, wow, she's going to call me from her job in Houston. So you've got a quote to start us off with.

This is a quote by Lewis Hay, and she said, you've been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn't worked. Try proving of yourself and see what happens. So do you have an example that will start us off today? You know, Lisa, I'm pretty aware of my inner dialogue in my own head, because, you know, I help other people examine theirs. And second, I'm also trying to reach my fullest potential. And so I realized recently that I had this kind of gremlin message that was appearing when I wanted to post on social media. And if I'm honest, Lisa, with you and everyone listening, my gremlin says things like, you know, people don't like what I provide, or people won't care or they'll criticize it or people will think I'm stupid. And when I, you know, as I say these out loud, you know, I realized this kind of like underlying message was like, I'm not smart enough. And this gremlin is here to protect me and all of us from judgment of others or embarrassment.

But when I believe it, it doesn't really help me live my calling. And that's what we're talking about today. So this inner critic, this inner voice that's inside of us telling us all that we're just not quite good enough. So we're talking about how do you connect that with our topic today? Well, if people are wondering, what do I mean by a gremlin? I mean, it's like this vicious bully kind of lurking in our own mind. And we're going to talk today about identifying them. Our gremlin is actually formed when we were younger as a way to protect us from embarrassment or rejection or hurt. But these gremlins limit us and our potential, and our inner critic is born out of kind of misinterpreting the gremlin message. And Lisa, we're so used to

kind of living with this gremlin in our own mind that we don't even realize it or recognize it. And I think what's helpful to know is even the elite athletes, you know, that I work with, they have gremlin messages. Even the most successful people that you can think of, they have these messages. So the really key is to notice when it comes up for you, so that it doesn't limit the impact on your potential. Well, let's talk about that impact. What exactly would the impact be if we listen to that voice or that gremlin? Well, when we listen and believe our gremlins, it makes us play small in our life in some way. We usually, you know, usually kind of shows up when we're feeling insecure or unmotivated or

afraid. And when that happens, we don't try new things. We really just stay in our comfort zone and we hold ourselves back. We don't really go for it. We don't take chances. And, you know, for me, I think it limits, when I listen to them, limits my purpose in life. So just in general, I'd say, Lisa, we limit our potential. And when really our potential is unlimited and endless. So what do you ask people to do?

So I think the first step is becoming aware. And you could use this question, you know, what messages cause me even for just a second to hesitate towards moving forward in my life? And maybe moving forward towards a goal or trying something new or making a decision. And that question usually kind of helps identify the gremlin. And then, you know, like what I did, I kind of tried to boil what this message, what is the real message, the underlying message? And, you know, it's usually some form of I'm not good enough, like I'm not smart enough or I'm not valuable enough or I'm not important or I'm not strong enough.

So the first step is asking yourself that question to become aware of it. And so do you have a final point for us? You know, I could talk about this all day. I was going to say you're in a spot where you're working with people that are trying to qualify to go to the Olympics. And I'm sure to hear, for us hearing that they would have the same type of thoughts that you're talking about right here, you're going to get off the phone with us and go work with people on deprogramming that kind of thinking. I mean, that's huge. Absolutely. Yeah. And they, you know, they do, they're just like you and me. And so, you know, I think the questions and the inner critic and their gremlin messages right now are,

you know, am I good enough to qualify? Because they have to qualify at the end of June for the Olympics, right? So what will happen? Will I get top three to go to the games? And so there's all these things that come up when we're really under pressure. So we really do have to train our mind and be aware of this inner critic and this gremlin to really, really break free and help us be our best more often. And so we really don't want to give the gremlin any power.

We don't want to give the gremlin any power. And by not giving it any power, it vanishes kind of the gremlin. So the key is, is to remind yourself that you're not your thoughts, okay? You don't need to believe everything you think. And you could even ask yourself the question related to the gremlin, like, is this even true? And usually our gremlin message is not true. So choosing a more empowering message that will really serve you and play bigger and really help you reach your unlimited potential. Cinder, can you summarize the topic today of taming our inner critic? Yes. I'd say today, you know, we talked about having this inner gremlin that formed a protesta,

but listening to it allows us to play small and we, you know, put the cap on our unlimited potential. So we really need to identify this gremlin message and ask ourselves, you know, what gets in the way of moving forward in our life, and then uncover this underlying message. And then finally, Lisa, it's just so important to not believe everything you think. Not believe everything you think. What's our power phrase this week? Power phrase is, I don't believe everything I think. Well, there you go. There you go. Hey, the best of luck to you. And of course, a strength to all of the athletes that you're going to be working with. I know that it just

must be an exciting time for both of you and nerve wracking. And I'm sure that you've found folks that you're trying to get to the next level. And I certainly hope to turn on the television and see them in Tokyo. Awesome. Thank you so much, Lisa. Thanks for having me today. Hey, Cinder, where do we get more information about you and your work if we want to contact you? You can head over to Dr. Cinder, so D-R-C-I-N-D-R-A.

And I speak to groups and teams and I work with athletes and executives. So you can find more information about over there at syndra or drsyndra.com. Way to go for finishing another episode of the high performance mindset. I'm giving you a virtual fist pump. Holy cow, did that go by way too fast for anyone else? If you want more, remember to subscribe and you can head over to Dr. Syndra for show notes and to join my exclusive community for high performers where you get access to videos about mindset each week. So again, you can head over to Dr. Sindhra. That's D-R-C-I-N-D-R-A.com. See you next week.