High Performance Mindset | Learn from World-Class Leaders, Consultants, Athletes & Coaches about Mindset - 439: Using Your Emotions as Data

Episode Date: June 25, 2021

Today on the podcast Dr. Cindra talks about the importance of using our emotions as data to regulate our emotions. We are not born regulating our emotions instead we learn this skill. Our emotions direct our actions, decisions, relationships, performance, and health. The RULER acronym can help us consider our emotions and Cindra shares how the “Meta-Moment Strategy” can help us regulate our emotions (from Dr. Barckett's book, Permission to Feel).    Power Phrase this Week: “I notice how I feel and use my emotions as data.” 

Hi friends, my name is Dr. Sindra Kampoff, a national leader in the field of sport and performance psychology. Every week I'm on the local radio sharing my top tips on exactly how to develop the mindset of the world's best, so you can accomplish all your dreams. Get ready for a jammed, packed episode focused on practical tips to help you get after your goals and step out of your comfort zone. Let's go. It is time to check in with Dr. Sindra Kampoff, get a little positivity.

And Sindra, our topic today is using your emotions as data. You've got an example to start us off today. Yeah, Lisa, this weekend, we are in Wisconsin watching our youngest son, Blake, play five games of baseball. And they made it to the championship game. And it was really interesting because they started each of their games behind in the score. And I was just watching and I was noticing the emotions of the 12 year olds. And there was a wide variety of emotions, like they were nervous and then happy and motivated and optimistic and sometimes angry and frustrated. And sometimes it happened all in the same inning. And you know what I'm talking about? Yeah, you know what I do? Because when my kids played sports, I totally understand that. And our topic using emotions as data, how does that connect with us

for today? So this is what we're talking about today is really how to use our emotions as information. And I've been reading this really great book by Dr. Mark Barkett. He's the director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence. And his book by Dr. Mark Barkett. He's the director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence. And his book is called Permission to Feel. And he talks about how when we ignore kind of how we're feeling or suppress our feelings, they only become stronger. And really, we need to give ourselves permission to feel these emotions, even though sometimes they might feel really inconvenient, or slow us down, or we want to kind of push them away. Yeah, it seems kind of counterintuitive, almost when you think, you know, maybe, well, I'm

getting frustrated. Well, I shouldn't be frustrated. Well, so he's saying allow yourself to feel that frustration. He's saying allow yourself to feel that frustration and not push it away. But really, like some, we need emotional regulation strategies. And I think like watching these 12 year olds, they're still learning emotional regulation, right? Yeah. And so why is this topic important for all of us to consider?

Well, our emotions are really central to our own performance. And our emotions impact what we remember what we learn, it impacts our decision making our health, our relationships. And I was reading Lisa just about how more and more people right now, because of COVID and all the pressure we're under, that more people are reporting feeling stressed out. Research even shows that our youth, their stress levels have surpassed those of adults. And we can even really feel frustrated and overwhelmed and stressed a lot of times. So what do we do with our emotions once we have them and we feel them? So the first thing we do is just notice them and use them as information or data. And what I mean by that is, you know, they're an important

source of what's going on with you and really show you what's important to you. So Dr. Mark in this book has this RULER acronym that I really like, which highlights kind of how to work with our emotions. And the R stands for recognize our emotions. The U stands for like understand those emotions and determine what's causing them, meaning kind of use those as information or data. And then the L stands for label them with a vocabulary, try to label how you're feeling. And then E stands for express them and with kind of inviting empathy from whoever's listening. And then R stands for regulate, which means we really need practical ways to deal with our emotions and how we're feeling.

And if we focus like on the R, regulate, can you share some of the strategies that you have to regulate our emotions? Yeah, this strategy is called a meta moment. And I really like this idea of a meta moment. What it means is it means kind of pausing and channeling your best self. So the first thing when you get maybe aggravated or frustrated or triggered, just kind

of notice how you're feeling. Maybe you have this impulse that you really want to do something that you might regret and then pause and create some space and take a breath and then see yourself as your best self. Maybe you could imagine your best self or just think of kind of adjectives that describe your best self. And you could even ask yourself, you know, what would I do if someone I respected was watching and then respond from that space? And that's going to help you be able to regulate your emotions and really act in a way that you are happy about and proud of. Ooh, I like that.

What would I do if someone I respected were watching? Do you have a final point for us, Sandra? So today, Lisa, we're talking about using our emotions as data. And what that really means is just noticing how you're feeling without judgment. And a lot of times we kind of see emotions as good or bad or right or wrong, but without seeing them as good or bad or right or wrong and see those as emotions is really an important source of what's inside you. And then you could ask yourself just to learn more about yourself, you know, has this, what happened to cause this feeling or what typically makes me feel this way or what led me to feel this way. And just seeing your emotions as data will be

really helpful to your health and your performance in general. All right, Cinder, give us a good summarization for today. So today we talked about the importance of regulating your emotions and we're not born regulating them. We can learn these skills and our emotions direct our attention and our decisions and our relationships and our health. So we can use this RULER acronym to understand our emotions and regulate them with a metamoment strategy that we talked about. So, Cyndra, what's our power phrase this week? I notice how I feel and use my emotions as data. And if people want to get in touch with you, maybe learn more about it, or maybe just ask a question or so, how do they contact you?

Yeah, they can head over to Dr. Cyra. So drcindra.com. And they can find my contact information and my book Beyond Grit over there. Using your emotions as data. Dr. Sindra Kampoff, thank you so much for your time today. Thank you, Lisa. Way to go for finishing another episode of the high performance mindset. I'm giving you a virtual fist pump. Holy cow, did that go by way too fast for anyone else? If you want more, remember to subscribe and you can head over to Dr. Sindra for show notes and to join my exclusive community for high performers where you get access to videos about mindset each week. So again, you can head over to Dr. Sindra. That's D-R-C-I-N-D-R-A.com. See you next week.