High Performance Mindset | Learn from World-Class Leaders, Consultants, Athletes & Coaches about Mindset - 463: How to Create a Powerful Meaning

Episode Date: November 2, 2021

Bryon Katie said, “Life is simple. Everything happens for you, not to you. Everything happens at exactly the right moment, neither too soon nor too late.”  A key factor in our success is to consciously choose the meaning we give to situations. In this episode, Cindra talks about how you can choose a meaning that empowers you, that makes you better, and serves you. We can choose a meaning that acknowledges that the events happened for you, not to you.  Phrase this Week: “I see the opportunity in every difficulty. Life is happening for me not to me.” 

Hi friends, my name is Dr. Sindra Kampoff, a national leader in the field of sport and performance psychology. Every week I'm on the local radio sharing my top tips on exactly how to develop the mindset of the world's best, so you can accomplish all your dreams. Get ready for a jammed, packed episode focused on practical tips to help you get after your goals and step out of your comfort zone. Let's go. We check in with Dr. Sindra Kampoff and today our topic is how to create a powerful meaning.

Sindra, you usually start us off with a quote. This is by Byron Katie. She said, life is simple. Everything happens for you, not to you. Everything happens at exactly the right moment, neither too soon or too late. So how do you want to start today's conversation? Well, today we're talking about the power of meaning. So let's take an example of two business owners who experienced the same event in their business. Let's say like an external uncontrollable event like COVID. And because of COVID, there was a decrease in sales. So one owner frames the event as devastating.

And that leads them to feeling stuck in this mindset of fear and anxiety. They don't make adjustments to their business because of it. Whereas the other business owner kind of notices and notes the uncontrollable nature of the event, but they're looking for opportunities to serve their clients. They might describe the event as like a time where they can live their mission and purpose in the world. And so there's the same event, but different meanings that are created. So what's the impact of seeing the opportunity in something? Well, we know that ample research over lots of decades has shown that the most successful people think differently than those who experience less success. And one of the factors is they're always

looking for the opportunity and the difficulty. So they see their struggles and difficulties as happening for them, not to them, as Byron Katie would say. And so, you know, they deliberately place their energy into mastering really their own mind, and this leads to more success. And they create a more empowering meaning on events in their life. And so this is really one of my favorite topics. How do we create a more powerful meaning? Well, Lisa, I think what's helpful to know is that as humans, we're meaning making machines. So it just means that we're making meaning all day long. And everything in our life is really based on the meaning we give it. So we can choose the meaning we give to a future event, and we can choose the meaning we give to a past event. And sometimes these past events just kind of repeat in our mind really unconsciously. We don't take a step back and think about the meaning we're creating. And so when you really engage in your mind and condition your mind every day, you consciously and proactively choose the

meaning that really empowers your future. So you can see, you know, a situation, even a difficult one is happening for you, not to you. So now you need, you know, a situation, even a difficult one is happening for you, not to you. So now you need to tell us a little bit more about the difference between something happening to you or something happening for you. Absolutely. So for you means that you learn from it. You see difficulties as opportunities to help you keep growing. And every circumstance you see can be turned into kind of a gift. When you see problems that's happening to you, you choose a victim mentality. You take it personally. You might even think, like, why me?

You know, and we can stay stuck. And sometimes I notice myself, you know, taking this to you perspective, but I just consciously choose a different meaning and notice it and change the frame. Is that what most people do, or what do most people do? Well, I think most people don't consciously choose the meaning of an event. Maybe they don't even realize they can do that. And most of us, you know, we don't really want to think about a difficulty. We try to avoid it and just move on. We don't really want to put ourselves through that pain and discomfort. And so we don't really reflect on like, how can we go from this and how is this happening for me? But I'd say that high performers, they know the importance of positive energy and an empowering mindset.

So they ask themselves, you know, what are the big things in your life that you could give a new meaning to? And what are some events in the past that you could give a new meaning to? You know, kind of seeing them as happening for me, not to me. And so do you have a final point for us today? Well, Lisa, I think the key today is that, you know, we can consciously choose the meaning we're giving to any event. And so I'm going to encourage people just to choose a meaning that empowers you, not one that enables you, and choose a meaning that really makes you better, not just bitter, and choose a meaning that really helps you, not one that hinders you. And when we acknowledge

the events that they can be gifts, it happens for us, not to us. Happens for us, not to us. One of my favorite things to talk about here with Dr. Cinder Kampoff. What's our power phrase this week? I see the opportunity in every difficulty. Life is happening for me, not to me. And Cinder, where do we go if we want to follow along with what it is that you're doing in your work? You can head over to DrSindra, so D-R-C-I-N-D-R-A dot com. And I talk about this a little bit in my book, Beyond Grit, and you can check that out there. Sindra Karpoff, thank you so much for hanging out with us today. Thank you, Lisa. Way to go for finishing another episode of the High Performance Mindset.

I'm giving you a virtual fist pump. Holy cow, did that go by way too fast for anyone else? If you want more, remember to subscribe and you can head over to Dr. Sindhra for show notes and to join my exclusive community for high performers where you get access to videos about mindset each week. So again, you can head over to Dr. Sindhra. That's D-R-C-I-N-D-R-A.com.

See you next week.