High Performance Mindset | Learn from World-Class Leaders, Consultants, Athletes & Coaches about Mindset - 465: Why Perfectionism is Your Worst Enemy

Episode Date: November 13, 2021

As a top-performing business leader, entrepreneur, or salesperson, it is good to strive for success and have high expectations. These high standards keep you going, striving to be your best. When you strive to be your best, you help others around you do the same. But perfection is unattainable. In this episode, Dr. Kamphoff describes what to do instead.  Quote of the Week: “You have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” Louise Hay, author  Power Phrase of the Week:“I am kind to myself when things don’t go perfectly moving on quickly to protect my confidence.” 

Hi friends, my name is Dr. Sindra Kampoff, a national leader in the field of sport and performance psychology. Every week I'm on the local radio sharing my top tips on exactly how to develop the mindset of the world's best, so you can accomplish all your dreams. Get ready for a jammed, packed episode focused on practical tips to help you get after your goals and step out of your comfort zone. Let's go. Checking in with Cendra Kampoff. And today we talk a little bit about positivity with

perfectionism. Why is perfectionism your worst enemy? Cendra, you usually start us off with a quote. Lisa, this is one of my favorite quotes by Lewis Hay. She said, you've been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn't worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens. So we're talking about perfectionism. How do you want to start? Well, actually, one of the key characteristics of really great athletes and entrepreneurs and leaders is this really burning desire to be at their best. Because we know high performers, they're continually learning and growing and developing themselves. And this desire really keeps them striving for more. But the same desire we're going to talk about today can result in negative tendencies that can actually kind of undermine our performance and our grit and our happiness

in general. Cindy, you said that there were a couple of different types of perfectionism. What's the first type? Well, the first type we're going to talk about today is called adaptive perfectionism. And this can provide you with, you know, great drive to really go after your goals and strive for excellence. And people who are adaptively perfectionistic really work with like intense effort to try to reach their goals. They actually have little self-criticism when they don't succeed and they take their mistakes in stride, remembering that, you know, not everybody is perfect. And this type of perfectionism

is actually linked to high levels of performance, reaching our goals, and just also taking care of ourselves and being healthy along the way. Now, there is another more negative form of perfectionism. Can you tell us about that? Yes, this is called adaptive perfectionism. And sometimes we call this like self-critical perfectionism within psychology. And this type can really be damaging, kind of stop you in your tracks. This type of perfectionism, people have really high standards, but also have really high self-criticism, sometimes even shame. And this is one of the common things I see in my work as a performance coach and as an executive coach is just really

that people can have a really hard time when things don't go perfectly. And this maladaptive type of perfectionism actually can cut at our confidence and our motivation and really get in our way of being our best. Can you give us any examples of how these types of perfectionism play out in real life? Sure. So a couple of years ago, I worked with a vice president, and he would over-prepare for his presentations so much that he would obsess about it. And any time, especially, he felt like he was evaluated on his performance. So, like, for example, let's say, you know, he'd have a 15-minute presentation. He might prepare for it for, like, six or seven hours.

And so he would have to, like, sacrifice a lot of time with his young family. And when he didn't kind of excessively prepare like this, he would question his confidence and question his ability and his knowledge. And there was so much anxiety that it led to him having a panic attack while he was presenting. work together, we work to maintain really these high standards, right, that can help us strive to be our best, but modify his perfectionism, because it was more of the maladaptive type. And he was able to do this and get back to just balancing his life and his happiness improved. And he also was able to decrease his anxiety and the pressure that he felt. Can you give us any tips to deal with perfectionism that gets in our way? Sure. I have the three today, Lisa. They're short, but really powerful. So the first one would just be striving for excellence over perfection.

Remembering that striving for excellence is within your reach while perfectionism isn't. And the second one is sometimes we just have to remember done is better than perfect. When we aim for perfectionism, it can kind of keep us spinning instead of really moving on. And the last one is actually embracing obstacles. So we, you know, we'll all experience obstacles and setbacks, but a maladaptive perfectionism might give up and see obstacles as really failure. So the key is, you know, stay the course, keep pivoting and adjusting, and tap into your creativity to keep you moving forward. Asindra, can you summarize today for us?

Yeah. Lisa, I would say, you know, it's really good to strive for excellence and have high goals and high standards for yourself. These standards really keep you going and striving to be your best. And you can help others do the same when you have that mentality, But perfectionism is unattainable. So instead, consider striving for excellence instead. Strive for excellence instead. What is our power phrase to head us through the week? I am kind to myself when things don't go perfectly and strive for excellence today. Cinder, how do people get in touch with you to follow along and look for the new book or read the book that you have out already?

Yeah, you can head over to Dr. Cinder, so D-R-C-I-N-D-R-A.com. And that's where my Beyond Grit book is and any other information about my speaking and coaching. Way to go for finishing another episode of the High Performance Mindset. I'm giving you a virtual fist pump. Holy cow, did that go by way too fast for anyone else? If you want more, remember to subscribe. And you can head over to Dr. Sindra for show notes and to join my exclusive community How did that go by way too fast for anyone else? If you want more, remember to subscribe and you can head over to Dr. Sindra for show notes and to join my exclusive community for high performers where you get access to videos about mindset each week.

So again, you can head over to Dr. Sindra. That's D-R-C-I-N-D-R-A.com. See you next week.