High Performance Mindset | Learn from World-Class Leaders, Consultants, Athletes & Coaches about Mindset - 481: How to Accept What Is

Episode Date: February 4, 2022

We have the opportunity to practice acceptance every minute of every day. We can work to accept the situation, accept ourselves, or accept other people. Acceptance is a pillar of peak performance. In this episode, Dr. Kamphoff shares with us how we can move towards acceptance more often.   This Week’s Power Phrase: “I accept what is and know that I am doing the best I can.”  Quote of the Week: Wayne Dyer said, “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”

Hi friends, my name is Dr. Sindra Kampoff, a national leader in the field of sport and performance psychology. Every week I'm on the local radio sharing my top tips on exactly how to develop the mindset of the world's best, so you can accomplish all your dreams. Get ready for a jammed packed episode focused on practical tips to help you get after your goals and step out of your comfort zone. Let's go. Cinder Kampoff is our guest today and we talk a little bit about how to accept

what is. Cinder usually start us off with a quote. This is one of my favorite quotes Lisa by Wayne Dyer and he said when you change the way you look at things the things you look at change. The things you look at change. What inspired the topic today? Well, I spend a lot of time watching sports, as I know that you do. And at the end of a sports season, there's so many competitive games. And for actually the team to do well, they have to accept what is. So let's think about like a leader. Let's say the quarterback of a football team.

If they don't accept the score or accept the end of the game or accept what's going on in the game, they can't really capitalize in the moment. So we're talking about acceptance. What do you generally mean by that? So I mean, acceptance is when you acknowledge without judging it is good or bad. And when, you know, this could include like acceptance of yourself or acceptance of the situation or acceptance of the past, or maybe even acceptance of others without any judgment. And the power of this is that before we can really move forward, we have to embrace where we really are right now. And by accepting, it allows you to really stay in the present moment.

That's where you are at your best and where you can be your best and be a high performer and step into your potential. And so, you know, you realize that when you accept that you can respond to the moment, regardless of what's happened in the past, and it allows you to really step into your best. Cinder, it sounds so easy, but why is acceptance so difficult? It is very difficult, and it's not easy. And I think the reason is because our mind makes it really difficult. We just tend to experience a lot of judgment or blame or regret, maybe even anger when things don't go the way that we really thought it was going to go. And we tend to focus on things that we can't control. And I think really acceptance is also really difficult because we tend to have what's called an outcome focus. An athlete, for example, is expecting to win or score a certain number of points.

But really for us to step into our best, the key is to let go of that outcome focus and really be okay with any result, accept any result without judging, because we can always keep growing and learning regardless of what the outcome is. So we want to see the outcome is just information. The outcome is just information. So what's the first thing that we need to remember about just accepting what is? I think the first thing is to remember is that, you know, we're doing the best that we possibly can. You're doing the best that we, you know, you possibly can.

Everyone is doing the best they possibly can. And when you think about it, you know, no one has ever not tried their best, right? And we can be so critical of ourselves or others. And a lot of times beat ourselves up when we don't meet our own expectations, you know, maybe we get mad at ourselves or believe, you know, we could have done things better or wish it would have gone differently. But I think the key is, you know, that that that's in the past. And so you could even just say to yourself, you know, if I was talking to, you know, my best friend, how could I show them that they've done everything that they possibly could and that they were doing their best? And remember that you're doing the best that you can, too.

Yeah, I totally agree that everybody generally is doing the best that we can. So what else would you suggest that we do to accept what is? I think also you can embrace where you are right now. You know, sometimes we can have so much regret on something that happened in the past, but the past has really created who you are today. So accepting who you are and what's happened allows you to create who you want to be moving forward. And so one way is to shift your mindset, reframe it. You know, instead of thinking, I wish, you know, it would have gone differently,

you could just say, you say, what happened is understandable and okay, and I can keep growing and learning from that experience. Sandra, do you have a final point for us today? Well, we can really practice acceptance every minute of every day. And it's not easy, like you and I were just saying. And we can work to be more factual. How can we explain what happened without any judgment? We want to just keep on learning to do that, to really achieve high performance. We're evaluating things and we're really seeing that everything has value and we can always keep on learning and growing. You know, all experience has a purpose and this helps us just not beat ourselves up so

much. I think of that saying that you've said to me before, you know, when we lose, we learn. Yes, absolutely. That's a great point, especially in sports. Yeah. What is this week's power phrase? I accept what is and know that I'm doing the best I can. Cinder, how do we get in touch with you or follow along with your work? You can head over to Dr. Cinder, so D-R-C-I-N-D-R-A.com and you can learn more about my book, Beyond Grit, and anything else over there you'd like to learn more about. Way to go for finishing another episode of the High Performance Mindset.

I'm giving you a virtual fist pump. Holy cow, did that go by way too fast for anyone else? If you want more, remember to subscribe and you can head over to Dr. Sindra for show notes and to join my exclusive community for high performers where you get access to videos about mindset each week. So again, you can head over to Dr. Sindhra. That's D-R-C-I-N-D-R-A.com.

See you next week.