High Performance Mindset | Learn from World-Class Leaders, Consultants, Athletes & Coaches about Mindset - 490: How Expectations Create Pressure

Episode Date: April 27, 2022

Today on the podcast we discuss expectations. Expectations can place pressure on us without even realizing it. To be our best more often, we want to stay focused on excellence, not perfection. We are at our best without expectations when we are focused on the process (the small things we need to do) and our mind is in the present (not the future where expectations live). Today, to be the best you that you can be – do your best and have fun. These two expectations will free you from pressure.  Power Phrase this Week: “I do my best and have fun!”  Quote of the Week: “Expect nothing, appreciate everything.” Anonymous 

Hi friends, my name is Dr. Sindhra Kampoff, a national leader in the field of sport and performance psychology. Every week I'm on the local radio sharing my top tips on exactly how to develop the mindset of the world's best, so you can accomplish all your dreams. Get ready for a jammed, packed episode focused on practical tips to help you get after your goals and step out of your comfort zone. Let's go. We're checking in with Cinder Kampoff right now, and we're talking about how not to have

any expectations. Cinder, you start us off with a quote. I like this quote. It's an anonymous quote, Lisa. Expect nothing, appreciate everything. Expect nothing, appreciate everything. What is the example that you're going to use to start us off today? Well, Lisa, a few weeks ago, I gave my first TED Talk. And for those people who are unsure what a TED Talk is, it's like a short 10 or 12 minute talk about a singular idea that goes on TED.com. And sometimes, you know, these videos are viewed like millions of times. And so I had really high expectations. I prepared hours and hours for this talk. And I expected myself to be perfect in my delivery. And I also noticed afterwards that I was putting a lot of pressure on myself. I realized the importance of how expectations can impact performance.

So how does that connect with the story today? Well, one thing that prevents us from being at our best consistently is just pressure. And we each put a lot of pressure on ourselves because of our own expectations. We can place these expectations on ourselves, or maybe we take on the expectations of others. And sometimes these expectations can kind of feel like, you know, bricks on our shoulders weighing us down. And so today we're talking about releasing those expectations, freeing ourselves of this weight and burden. And if our goal is really about releasing those expectations, freeing ourselves of this weight and burden. And if our goal is really just to have fun and be the best we can be, that actually frees us from our expectations because we can't actually control the outcome,

just really the process of getting there and how much we're enjoying it. So, Cyndra, what's the first way that we can reduce our expectations? I think the first way is that we can expect excellence, not perfection. And what I mean by that is I felt like I was expecting myself to be perfect, right? And I also know perfection is really impossible. So we want to strive to be at our best because that's within our reach is, you know, doing our best and having fun while perfectionism is not. And so excellence could mean striving to be your best, but not having these perfectionistic expectations that can place pressure on you. So what's the second way that we reduce expectations for ourselves?

Well, so many times our expectations are focused on the outcome. And that's kind of the final product or the final result that we seek. That's actually really not within our control. So we want to instead stay focused on the process. And the process is really like how we can get there. The process includes like small things that we need to do to reach our vision or our goals. That's kind of what we do day in and day out. And so for me, you know, during my TED Talk, that was more, the process was more about like how I wanted to deliver the TED Talk or how I wanted to be fully present. And the power of really just focusing on the small things that

we want to do, it takes away the pressure and anxiety and helps us be more confident. What's the last way to reduce expectations? Well, the key to really being at our best more often is to stay focused on the present, not on the past or the future. And when we are focused on these expectations, we're really kind of focused on the future. And so we want to instead really, you know, even though this future-based thinking can motivate us and excite us, but it also puts a lot of like heaviness and pressure on us. For example, I had a client one time that spent so much time thinking

about his big, bold future, right, that this created so much anxiety that he couldn't really be focused on the moment. And he had so many expectations because he was spending so much time thinking about the future. So the last way is just to stay focused in the present moment, which is where you're at your best anyway. And, Cydra, can you summarize today for us? Well, today we talked about managing our own expectations, and these expectations can place a lot of pressure on us without even realizing it. So to be our best more often, we want to stay focused on excellence,

not perfection, and we're at our best without expectations when we're just focused on the process, which is kind of the small things we need to do to be at our best. And when our mind is in the present, we're not really thinking about the expectations. So today, I'm going to encourage everyone to be the best that you can be. Do your best and have fun. And those two things, when we're focused on that, frees us from pressure. You leave us with a power phrase to take us through the week.

What's the power phrase this week? Today, I do my best and have fun. Now, if people want to follow you on social media or connect with you or read the book or learn about what's coming out next with you, where do they need to go? They can go to DrCindra, so D-R-C-I-N-D-R-A.com, and they can find out about my speaking or coaching there as well as my book

Beyond Grit. How not to have expectations with Dr. Cinder Kampoff today. Cinder, thank you so much. Thank you, Lisa. Way to go for finishing another episode of the High Performance Mindset. I'm giving you a virtual fist pump. Holy cow, did that go by way too fast for anyone else? If you want more, remember to subscribe and you can head over to Dr. Sindra for show notes and to join my exclusive community for high performers where you get access to videos about mindset each week. So again, you can head over to Dr. Sindra, that's D-R-C-I-N-D-R-A.com.

See you next week.