High Performance Mindset | Learn from World-Class Leaders, Consultants, Athletes & Coaches about Mindset - 541: Don't Take Things Personally

Episode Date: April 17, 2023

When you decide to protect yourself and not to take things personally, you avoid needless suffering. You cannot be hurt by others. Your anger, irritation, jealousy, frustration, and conflicts with others lessen. You are happier and at your best more often.   Quote of the Week: “Quit worrying about what other people think and follow your heart.” —Jack Canfield  This Week's Power Phrase: “I don’t take what other people do or say personally. I decide to protect my confidence and grit.” 

Hi friends, my name is Dr. Sindra Campoff, a national leader in the field of sport and performance psychology. Every week I'm on the local radio sharing my top tips on exactly how to develop the mindset of the world's best, so you can accomplish all your dreams. Get ready for a jammed, packed episode focused on practical tips to help you get after your goals and step out of your comfort zone. Let's go. We are checking in with Cendra Campoff today and a good topic, I think it really applies

to just about everybody I know. It's not taking things personally. Cendra, start us off with a quote. I like this quote by Jack Canfield and he said, quit worrying about what other people think and follow your heart. I heard that. Quit worrying about what other people think and follow your heart. I heard that. Quit worrying about other people think. It's none of your business, right? Yeah, exactly. Right. What exactly are we talking about today? Well, we're talking about not taking things personally. And there's a great segment on Jimmy Kimmel's show called Mean Tweets. And I love it because the stars and leaders and politicians read these mean tweets that other people have posted about them on Twitter. And for example, Rascal Flat reads, please do us all a favor and stop making music. You're so awful. Hashtag so bad. Hashtag spare us. Hashtag sounds of death. Barack Obama reads, you know, how do you make Obama's eyes light up? Shine a flashlight in

his ears. He's kind of Making fun of his big ears. And I think, Lisa, if any of these stars or leaders would have taken these tweets really personally, they would not be where they are today. They wouldn't be following their goals and dreams and impacting the world the way they can and really being an incredible person in terms of mastering their own craft. So, Cyndra, you are a performance coach and executive. What do you see as the trends are in terms of mastering their own craft. So, Cindra, you are a performance coach, an executive. What do you see as the trends are in terms of taking things personally? Well, this is actually one of the top mental barriers that I see people struggling with.

And I work with a lot of leaders and even top leaders, and I see them struggling with this. Even the professional athletes that I work with as a mental coach and a performance coach, you know, they can get stuck at listening to the haters and the doubters. And I think especially in today's sort of like social media culture, it just seems like, you know, that's everywhere we can read people critiquing us. I think it's really important to be aware of when we take things personally. And why should we not take things personally? Well, one of my favorite books is by a guy named Don Miguel Ruiz. And the book is called The Four Agreements and one of the agreements is don't take things personally.

And he has this great quote and he says, nothing people do is because of you. What others say or do is a projection of their own reality and their own dreams. And I think that's so true. We can take it so to heart, right? But what people think is a projection of their world, not yours. And so people do things because

of themselves. Right. I really people do things because of themselves. Right. I really love that. And I love that book, too. So I'm glad you brought that up. It's a great one if you want to pick that one up. So what's the real impact of when we actually take things personally? Well, when we take things personally, we are acting and thinking selfishly.

And so we do think it's all about us. And ultimately, Lisa, we can let, you know, criticism and negativity really eat at us. We can hold grudges, get offended. We sometimes create conflicts that aren't even there. And we allow the words of others to really poison us. We start believing in their opinions, and it does impact our confidence. So those are all the ways that we should work to not take things personally, because it really does get us further away from our goals and our dreams.

So how can we apply this exactly to our lives? Well, I'd say first, remember that it's more important what you think about yourself than what other people think about you. And then you, you know, you consider, you know, what else is going on in their life. If you put yourself in their shoes, maybe they're having a bad day or, you know, someone in their family is sick, you might have no idea what people are dealing with. And I love this quote by Daniel Amen, and he said, think like a 60-year-old. And so he said, when we're 18, we worry about what everyone else is thinking. When we're 40, we don't really think about what anyone is thinking.

And when we're 60, we realize no one's been thinking about us at all. Why is this important for us to do, though? It is so important because I think it's really easy to take things personally and think that it's about us when the majority of the time it's not. And you really are, like, suffering when you don't need to. If you're creating these things in your head and they don't really exist, there's no reason to do that. Yeah, and you can really be hurt by other people. You can let your anger and frustration and, you know, you make more conflict. So really to be the

happiest that you can be, we want to not take things personally. And what's the power phrase that you're going to use this week? I don't take what other people do or say personally. I decide to protect my own confidence and grit. All right. And of course, watch how you talk to yourself because that matters too, right? Absolutely. We've talked about that. Cinder, how do people follow along with your work and get more information?

Maybe read one of your books? You can head over to Dr. Cinder, so d-r-c-i-n-d-r-a.com and you'll find more information about myself and my coaching and my books over there. Way to go for finishing another episode of the High Performance Mindset. I'm giving you a virtual fist pump.

Holy cow, did that go by way too fast for anyone else? If you want more, remember to subscribe and you can head over to Dr. Sindhra for show notes and to join my exclusive community for high performers where you get access to videos about mindset each week. So again, you can head over to Dr. Sindhra. That's D-R-C-I-N-D-R-A.com. See you next week.