High Performance Mindset | Learn from World-Class Leaders, Consultants, Athletes & Coaches about Mindset - 547: What to Do When You Feel Like an Impostor?

Episode Date: June 22, 2023

We can feel like a fraud or fear that someone will “find us out” despite real concrete evidence that we should be confident in our ability, our future, and ourselves. In this episode, we talk about The Imposter Syndrome and what you should do when you doubt yourself and your ability.  Quote of the Week: Dr. Valerie Young said, “I think at the core of so much of these impostor feelings is these unrealistic, unsustainable expectations that we have for ourselves.”  This Week's Power Phrase: “I choose confidence today.” 

Hi friends, my name is Dr. Sindra Kampoff, a national leader in the field of sport and performance psychology. Every week I'm on the local radio sharing my top tips on exactly how to develop the mindset of the world's best, so you can accomplish all your dreams. Get ready for a jammed, packed episode focused on practical tips to help you get after your goals and step out of your comfort zone. Let's go. We're checking in with Cindra Kampoff today and we're talking about what to do when you feel

like an imposter. Have you felt like an imposter? Cindra, you start us off with a quote. I love this quote by Dr. Valerie Young. She said, I think at the core of such of the feelings of imposter is these unrealistic, unsustainable expectations we have for ourselves. So explain a little bit about imposter syndrome to us today if we don't know what it is. Well, really, it's described as a psychological pattern where we doubt our accomplishments and feel like we're going to be exposed as a fraud. And we can all feel like we're a fraud or fear that someone is going to find us out, despite really some concrete evidence that we should be confident in ourselves, in our ability, in our future. And so today we're talking about how everyone can feel like an imposter.

And so what is the research? What does it say about what happens to us when we feel like an imposter. Well, when we feel like this often, right, and generally the syndrome is associated with things like higher levels of burnout in work, more distress, higher anxiety, lower self-esteem, decreased sense of well-being. And so today we're going to talk about why people feel like an imposter and what to do about it. So what are the reasons that we would feel like we were an imposter? Well, it's usually described as like this unconscious feeling that we're not really deserving of success or that we're maybe not as intelligent or competent or qualified or talented as other people think that we are. And on my podcast, the High Performance Mindset podcast on episode 322,

I interviewed a woman named Valerie Young who wrote the book The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women and she talks about seven perfectly good reasons why we feel like a fraud and there's seven of them. I'm just going to share with a few just to help you kind of think about

why you might feel like an imposter sometimes and one of those is, which is my favorite, is number one, you are raised by humans. It basically makes me just think like, okay, everyone is raised by a human. Everyone can feel like an imposter. Other reasons we feel like an imposter is we work in an organization that has a culture of self-doubt or we're a stranger in a strange land. Maybe we live in a different country than we grew up, or we represent an entire group based on our race or class or gender.

And so, you know, I like this number one, that we're all raised by humans. So just this idea that we can all feel like an imposter sometimes. So you've talked in the past about doubt being a common thing. Can you tell us about that? Yeah, we all doubt ourselves. You know, it's part of our human nature. I found these two quotes that I really love. One by Meryl Streep, who's this wonderful actress, right?

She's been described as, like, the best actress of her generation. And she said, you know, she thinks to herself sometimes, why would anyone want to see me in a movie? I don't even know how to act anyways, so why am I doing this? Meryl Streep. Even Maya Angelou, who's this amazing poet and activist. She said, I've written 11 books, but each time I think, oh no, they're going to find me out. I've run a game on everyone, and they're going to find me out.

So I just take those two examples and just this idea that everyone can feel like an imposter. Sometimes we believe in those imposter feelings and we believe in that doubt when really it's just many times lies we tell ourselves. And what should we do when we start to feel like an imposter? When we notice this coming on, what should we do? Well, I think the first thing we should do is remember that having confidence in yourself and belief in yourself is really a choice. And what the best do is they make a decision every day to think confidently and to act confidently and to be confident. And when I think about confidence, really our trust and our ability and to really build our confidence and overcome these feelings of an imposter.

We have to make sure we don't believe everything we think. And one of the ways we can do this is to build our confidence is to remind ourselves of our accomplishments, to remind ourselves of our successes. The small thing is the big things, and that's going to build our confidence. And you've got an exercise to share with us today to help. Yes. Several months ago, I did this presentation on imposter syndrome for this group, and I shared this exercise, which I call Own Your Success Exercise.

And the first step is just to create a list of all of your accomplishments, you know, large and small. And next to it, write the note of luck or timing or connections or your personality and what really led to that success. And then after you do that, write down the specific actions you took to make that happen. And the point of this exercise is to realize that really you have accomplished these things and it's not just luck, right? It's like your ability and your belief in yourself and what you've developed over time is really allowing you to have this success.

And this can help us overcome our feelings of imposter and intentionally build our confidence. And you kind of leave with a power phrase this week. You do every week, and it's something that we can take with us throughout our time when we start to feel like this. I like this one because it's short and sweet. I choose confidence today.

I choose confidence today. Okay, Cindra, where can people get in touch with you, find out more information, maybe pick up your podcasts? Absolutely. You can head over to beyondgrit.com, and you can find any information about the Beyond Grit book over there.

I do talk about this idea of building confidence and you can find more about the high performance mindset just by searching anywhere you can find podcasts, such as Apple Podcasts, and you can just search for it. Episode 322, where I really dive into this deeper. Way to go for finishing another episode of the high performanceset. I'm giving you a virtual fist pump. Holy cow, did that go by way too fast for anyone else? If you want more, remember to subscribe. And you can head over to Dr. Sindhra for show notes. And to join my exclusive community for high performers, where you get access to videos about mindset each week.

So again, you can head over to Dr. Sindhra. That's D-R-C-I-N-D-R-A dot com. See you next week. So again, you can head over to Dr. Sindhra. That's D-R-C-I-N-D-R-A.com. See you next week.