High Performance Mindset | Learn from World-Class Leaders, Consultants, Athletes & Coaches about Mindset - 551: The Mental Skills Necessary for Success with Dr. Cassidy Preston, Mental Performance Coach & Founder of CEP Mindset

Episode Date: July 22, 2023

Dr. Cassidy Preston is a Mental Performance Coach that works with elite athletes, teams, & high-performing executives. Cassidy is also the founder of CEP Mindset and is dedicated to shifting the culture of sport from results first to mindset first.  Cassidy specializes in creating relatable and practical strategies by combining his personal experiences as a former OHL & PRO hockey player, with the current research in Sport & Performance Psychology. He continues to expand the CEP team of Mental Performance Coaches to help as many athletes and high performers as possible optimize their performance and well-being.    In this episode, Cassidy and Cindra talk about:  7 mental skills that are necessary for success  Why we need internal validation and not external  His “Be-Do-Have Model”  How to reduce the “Yo-Yo Confidence”  And why doubt is a healthy thing    HIGH PERFORMANCE MINDSET SHOWNOTES FOR THIS EPISODE: www.cindrakamphoff.com/551   FOLLOW CINDRA ON INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/cindrakamphoff/  TO FIND MORE INFORMATION ABOUT CASSIDY: https://cepmindset.com/  FOLLOW CINDRA ON TWITTER: https://twitter.com/mentally_strong  Love the show? Rate and review the show for Cindra to mention you on the next episode: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/high-performance-mindset-learn-from-world-class-leaders/id1034819901

Welcome to the High Performance Mindset Podcast. This is your host, Dr. Cindra Kampoff, and thank you so much for joining me for episode 551. It has been several months since I recorded a podcast interview. I've been busy speaking and coaching, and I'm just really excited to get back at the podcast interviews,

just to provide these again for you to serve you. And today's episode is a perfect one to get back at it. And it's with Cassidy Preston. And I know you're going to love this interview. So stick around and listen to the whole thing. So Dr. Cassidy Preston is a mental performance coach that works with elite athletes, teams, and high performing executives. He's also the founder of CEP Mindset, which is dedicated to shifting the

culture of sports from results first to mindset first. Love that. Cassidy specializes in creating relatable and practical strategies by combining his personal experience as a former OHL and pro hockey player with the current research in sport and performance psychology. He continues to expand his CEP team of mental performance coaches to help as many athletes and high performers as possible optimize their performance and well-being. In this episode, Cassidy and I talk about several really crucial things related to high performance and the high performance mindset that I know you're going to really have lots of takeaways from. Number one, we talk about seven mental skills that are necessary for success. Why we need internal validation and not external validation. His B do have model,

how to reduce your yo-yo confidence, and why doubt is a healthy thing. Interesting, huh? All right. If you'd like to find the full show notes and description, you can head over to cindracampoff.com slash 551 for episode 551, where we have a full transcript of the interview. If you want to check that out over there. Again, cindracampoff.com slash 551. And as always, if you enjoyed this podcast interview, please leave us a rating and review. If you're on your iPhone, for example, you just

scroll up and you can leave us a rating interview there. And this just helps us reach more and more people each and every week. All right. Well, I'm excited to provide these podcast interviews again for you and excited to get back at it. So without further ado, here is Cassidy. Welcome. Welcome to the High Performance Mindset Podcast. Cassidy Preston, I'm so excited that you're here today with us. How is your day going? It's going well. Thanks for having me, Sandra. I'm really excited. I wanted to have you on the podcast for a while, so I'm looking forward to diving into your business and then also your

new book coming out, Mindset First. So maybe just to get us started, why don't you tell us a little bit about what you do and what you're most passionate about? Yeah. Well, I love mental training, mindset, mental performance. I got into it through my own kind of challenges and struggles as an athlete and learning the long and hard road, which I'm sure we'll have to get into at different points. And so I was like, okay, well, I'll go to school and figure this out. There's got to be a better way for people to personalize, have a healthy, effective mindset so they can perform better more consistently reliably

and you know then learn some lots of great the literature the research some people outside of the literature research and mentors like todd herman and john g martini and then kind of crafting this personalized practical system strategies that can help athletes and do it effectively. And like, I love coaching somebody one-on-one connecting, seeing them shift and grow. And then that went pretty well early on. I was like, okay, well, let's get a team of coaches and like, let's just create that. So then I also know I get to, you know, coach professionals and junior players and, and that, but now I also get to run a business side, which is kind of fun. I've always had a business oriented mindset and, and creating a team and a lot of people in mental performance. It's like they want

to do it, but then it's how do you get people to sign up and actually have the business side. So we've tapped people into that. So that's been a lot of, a lot of fun. And then that creates this whole, you know, little inner circle or inner team of like mental performance coaches. We're bouncing ideas. We're all learning from each other and create a system around that. So I get to coach athletes one-on-one and business professionals and high performers as well, but also get to, uh, to create a business model and, uh, and work with other great high performers that are also having an impact on the culture on people's lives. So that's a, I think a fairly short summary of who I am, what I'm doing outside of also being a father, two young, great daughters, Addie and Remy,

and a husband. So that's, you know, I try and enjoy that, try and go some casual golfing here and there. Golf game's not great, but it's fun. So yeah, that's the short of it. Perfect, Cassidy. Well, you know, one of the things I really appreciated about your website was I read about your story and it's so interesting when you hear about people's struggles, right? You instantly connect with them because I struggled as an athlete too. That's how I got interested in performance psychology. I was a high level high school athlete, broke some state records that still actually stand today, you know, 20 years later, and then got to college and really struggled. And what I most appreciate about your story was your draft in the OHL.

Right. And then your first, your first, you know, couple games didn't go the way you expected. Tell us about, you know, that and then what I'm sure that was kind of the catalyst for you to pursue this degree in sports psychology and your PhD in the area. Yeah, for sure. Like I, um, I actually work with a sports psychologist when I was like 16, just like I broke my jaw and I was coming back from that. And she was really helpful. And I was, I was one of like the first times I really started to be like, Oh, the mental games are kind of cool. This is important. gonna prioritize this focus on my mind not just the results and and the training the technical and tactical but like how am i showing up who am i being in my mental state how i think and feel and and it definitely helped some of the main kind of struggles though was like well my first year in the ohl uh was

going into that and i made the team and i was even on the starting lineup at the first game and I was like and my goal I'm getting drafted to NHL like here we go like I'm so results oriented like so many athletes is just consumed by results and results was the main priority you get to the game it's like all about results now okay I'm not training what mindset do I want to be in I want to have a good training and do things well process and mindset get to the game results consumed the weight the burden of the the expectations and not knowing how to handle that so that first year in the ohl i had zero points like i actually just it just started off like and then by game 15 my coach is like it's gonna be hard to play you i'm like oh boy it's like and

i kind of like get it like yeah i haven't produced yet and but then so then I just barely played the rest of the year so I played like which is one of like the hardest mental challenges of an athlete when you're let alone injured when you're healthy and not getting played it's like I would I once got dressed we drove four hours on a bus trip and I'm in the lineup and I didn't even get a shift and it's like so that challenge and then to have that low of a performance as a forward in hockey it's like zero even get a shift and it's like so that challenge and then to have that low of a performance as a forward in hockey it's like zero points in a year so that's like a an all-time low like I considered quitting like I was like thought I was going to be contrasted NHL and I almost quit by the end of the year and um so being able to bounce back from that but that

also gives me all kinds of strength and I tell this a lot to athletes when it's like you're going through something tough and you're in a really challenging situation and you might not break through it's like kind of like you're you feel like there's this glass ceiling you're trying to get through and overcome it well every time you're hitting that that's making you mentally stronger and so now like everything in my life after that not everything came in super easy but it was like compared to that like I was like you know I mean like if I could persevere and deal with that challenge um so that was obviously a big part of it but it's not like I figure it out after that season so it was because I kept getting sucked into the allure of results and I'm sure you'll hear me say that a bunch today which is why um the book mindset first

is very about the best athletes in the world prioritize their mindset over the results they can show up on game day and who am i going to be today versus consume with what do i want to achieve today and that's a very different way of approaching it and what's your it doesn't mean this isn't a priority it's just not the top one. The top one is mindset. And that's, that was a lesson that took me a while, while to learn and some other challenges and stories I can share around that. And even my last year of junior and some, some crazy things where I would like 74 points in 49 games, but 20 of them, I had no points. So I was like, cause in the first period I didn't get a point. So then I'd get derailed and downward spiral. So I learned and figured out a long way.

It wasn't until like 10 years of like junior and pro hockey and Canadian University hockey. At the end of my career, I was like, oh, I'd like reset routine. I had some strategies that worked. They're pretty reliable. I was putting mindset first pretty consistently without even fully knowing it at that point. And that's what I was like, okay, this was a long time. Can I help somebody else do it a little bit quicker than 10 years? That's where the schooling that I was like, okay, well, let me go to school a bit more, keep reading, you know, get other

coaches and mentors and innovate, personalize big progressive strategies to have an impact quickly and effectively for the longterm. So yeah. There's so many things that I could say in response to that. I think, um, you know, we did a study last year where we asked pro athletes, how they developed their grit. And one of the things that completely surprised me was actually two thirds of them said that it came from a difficult moment, right? Like kind of like what you're saying this moment in the OHL, where you went from starting, you know, on the starting lineup to not even playing. And it's that moment that develops your persistence, maybe even as a business owner today, right? And it's developed

your passion for what you do. And I think it's so easy in the moment to generalize. And what I mean by that is I did this as an athlete as well. Like, oh, I had a really bad race. I must be in a slump. Like what's wrong with me instead of just like, hey, it's one race reset. You know, I didn't, I didn't know how to do that. And I thought that the more I beat myself up, the better I would do. And, you know, obviously that's the opposite. And it was just my junior year was sort of similar in college to your experience in the OHL or just, you know, number one runner. And then by the end, just, um, dropping out of some races. Cause I just couldn't figure out my mind had nothing to do with my

physical ability. Yeah, no, it's huge. And I like that, um, you know, the grit coming from that, that difficult moment, cause you can pull back from that. And I like to use the analogy often because when an athlete's in it, it's hard to give them the perspective. Like, it's not inherently like, oh, let me just see the, what's the benefit to this challenge situation. But I like to use like kind of an exaggerated, you know, polarity of like person A and person B. Person A just has a super easy career and everything's easy all the way

and they just succeed, succeed, succeed. And then eventually one day they're going to be faced with adversity. And if they haven't faced much adversity, how will they respond? Versus person B that's like has more bumps along the way and they learn and there's adversity earlier on in their career and they deal with it.

Then eventually, and they get to the same level person who's going to be better at that that highest level in dealing with it now it's not to say one is better than the other because you can still learn to be resilient and gritty and there's always adversities in the way you can kind of make sure you're giving yourself challenging situations as you rise in the ranks but we see it all the time like that was me at 17 or you at your first year at university i've got pro athletes where it all the time like that was me at 17 or you went your first year at university i've got pro athletes where it's the first time they really hit significant adversity they're just so talented and that they get up there and it's like oh how do i deal with failure

and adversity now never faced that significant or that level before so um it's being able to draw back on your previous ones makes everything else um easier and i think those are the some of the best mental learning opportunities out there like one of the goalies we had this year um um he was like the ohl goal of the year and he we talked about he had like eight goal against game it's like it's like this might be the best thing that happened to you this season and it's like not all the accolades and successes and the shutouts he got was like he really learned to stand with the goals again it's like hey i'm still standing here and let go of the fear of the goals against and the and the and just own his own capabilities internal validation versus external and i think um and he was on fire after that too

so it was like how we framed that was really good example of um using adversity as like in that moment if you can really learn to get perspective and not have a emotional charge i like to call it like this fantasy nightmare it's like uh in sports we love to have all these fantasies of like oh just be the perfect athlete everything's gonna be sunshine there's no fantasies in sport you're being a professional athlete it's not all sunshine and rainbows it's hard work there's pressure there's expectations in the media and like the the your life away from the sport and you know when you face adversity it's not all a nightmare and so being able to um see that so i like that that study that grit's like hey those are actually that's where they became gritty and uh yeah

yeah it's pretty fascinating. I'm thinking about just as we're talking the importance of like bouncing back, but also I've heard you say like how you are really results oriented, you know, and you, you now realize, okay, maybe that was one of the reasons that you weren't as successful in the OHL, right. Um, and internal validation versus external, maybe tell us a bit about the difference in your opinion between external and internal validation oh yeah it's a huge one because especially you think of like the word confidence which is a whole we'll talk we can can blow that up and dive into different ways but when we think of our society as a whole let alone athletes

so many people become dependent on external validation for their self image, for their self worth or self confidence there. And was like, and it's nice, external validation is nice. It's the results, it's a form of feedback, and it's a tool. And it is our goal and intent to achieve things. And we want to be liked by other people and those kind of things. But it's a very dangerous place to be when you're just very dependent on the external validation, because there's going to be variations and what if the day you don't get it. And for whatever the reasons, whether it's a mental mistake, or just literally adversity or weather or challenges, or somebody just had a super great

performance and they're, you know, things really went went their way like that's we want to avoid that there's nothing wrong with external validation but if you lose sight of your own opinion matters most your internal validation and you're being able to look at yourself in the mirror like who am i what am i capable based on the work that i put in and you know physically mentally emotionally and so forth like that is a fundamental piece to being a high performer in anything in life let alone in sport whereas especially in sport where there's going to be variance and variability in results and if you attach confidence or your self-worth and self-image to external things you're you're playing a game that's you're now

not going to be as consistent your self-confidence won't be because we call it yo-yo confidence. It's going up and down with your results. And it's like, that's, that doesn't dictate your capability. There's going to be variance. So it's like, yes, I'm aware of this variance in my results, but I own, and I have a strong sense of internal validation. One of the tricks and the problems though, is as you rise the ranks and you start getting a bunch of external validation you start to be like oh yeah this is great and you become dependent on it's like no no no don't get caught up in the allure of the results and the the fancy external stuff stay connected to the that principle and of in like you dictate your, and, and don't be, get sucked into the dependence of external validation.

So, um, you can, um, stay fairly independent of it while still wanting it and having as well, just like, you know, wanting goals and things you can detach from them and be immersed in your process. And yeah, the, you know, I'm sure we'll get a bit more into the allure results, a bit more in the mindset first kind of paradox. Cause that's a big one. Yeah, absolutely. Well, so you have your book coming out mindset first, a new way to mentally prepare. Um, and it's, it's specific to hockey, but we also know, you know, like lots of our books

there, they're just, they're not, it's not hockey specific. Like we can all learn something from this book. So tell us a bit about that mindset first idea and what specifically you see, you know, top athletes, top leaders, high performers do differently related to mindset or the mental game. Yeah, I think the, the premise, like to me, this is the foundational piece. If you get this right and you're, and you put mindset first and you really prioritize it for the sake of itself, everything else is going to flow from there. You're going to be much more centered, internal validation,

resilient, deal with adversity. You'll be able to deal with everything better and therefore get in the zone and perform more consistently, actually get better results. I call it even the realm of the super elite. They've committed to prioritizing their process, their mindset, the things in their control. Who do they want to be their identity first and foremost in each moment or most moments. And one of the big problems and the mistake is some people are like, yeah, I want to focus on my mindset so that I can get results. Well, as soon as you make that your main reason to focus on mindset, you still prioritize results. Like, and if you prioritize results, you will get sucked into the

weight of results, the expectations, the burden we were talking about earlier. It's like, I need to, I have to, I should, you have the variability of results and the yo-yo external validation problems and confidence problems that come from that. have the um the emotional roller coaster of getting elated and deflated and the emotions and like i used to slam my stick and get frustrated and outburst and like an anger or just get down and deflate and dejected and the emotional roller coaster there and the third the fourth big one is also just the stress and the frustration and you lose sight of the love of the game because your priority is results so and when you really get consumed with results and especially when adversity is like you get

this downward spiral and it gets more frustrated more stress and you want it need it more and it gets like i call it the results trap and and so many athletes, as you climb the ranks, we just become so obsessed about results because it doesn't matter. And our society perpetuates that. But that can't be the reason why you're focusing on your mindset. You think, well, why do we play sports in the first place?

Why you want to prioritize your mindset is for the sake of itself. It's like, who do you want to be while you play? And it makes it more enjoyable. And it's your life. It's your itself. It's like, who do you want to be while you play? And it makes it more enjoyable. And, and it's your life, it's your career, it's your journey, who you being during that experience matters more than just the destination. And so the destination matters, and there can be fun in the destination and winning the championship or the trophy or the results and the achievements. But it's not the why, and the core reason to like, what is my priority today?

And how do I want to show up and who do I want to be today? Think, feel, operate. And if I can come from that place, everything else is again, going to flow, but I'm not doing it because I want to focus on being this. I want to be present and do this. So I get results. There's going to be the lingering results. It will still be probably better off if you're trying to do it. And, and again, one of the things that's so common, how many coaches, how many parents, how many people are saying, focus on the process so that you can get results, focus on what you can control so that you'll get results.

That's anchoring a results first mindset still. And so we have to be very mindful of that because it's true. You focus on what you can't control. You will get results. You focus on the process. It will help you get results. So, but it shouldn't be the only reason and really learning i get athletes to reflect what was your priority today i like the little color code like blue green red blues mindset with a mindset blue oriented and in key moments what percentage versus skill green the process like actual tangible physical stuff on actions and then read the results and guaranteed anytime someone's having trouble with the mental game they have results first red's too big of a priority that day it's the foundational thing we can give them

all the reset routines understanding acceptance setterness um the concepts and the strategies and alter ego, personal scorecard, imagery, we can do all this stuff. And that creates a great mental game. But if it's built on the foundation of results first, it ain't going to be as stable and it's not going to be as consistent. So the best athletes, the best high performers, they figured out to commit to that day in and day out. And they've, you know, when the success comes or when the adversity comes, they don't, you know, let that throw them off the mindset first oriented approach. So that was a bit long winded, the book still in editing phase. So there's not a set publishing date. But I'm happy to be able to dive in and share because, you know, that's what,

you know, all the work I've done and all like myself the education all the athletes and the innovating like this boils down to that it becomes if we want to make sure they're doing one thing well it's that what is your priority today is it are you focusing on who you're being mindset or you're focused on prioritizing what are you doing which matters and be and do are pretty close okay what do What do I want to actions and do? But more importantly, if it's then often, well, I'm focused on what I do because I want to achieve this. I want to have this, I want to get these results and, or, you know, have this end outcome and result. So that's yeah, that's the foundation and the premise of the book and that it goes into,

well, then how do we bring this to life? What does it look like through the concepts? And, and I'm a big proponent of uh challenging people to think differently i think um mindset's so not tangible in a lot of ways so you know we use our assessment and things in our actual programs and but breaking it down like well what is acceptance most people misunderstand that like what does it mean to actually commit and the acceptance commitment one two punch what does it mean to be centered and enjoy the journey or, you know, having simple and creative strategies like the alter ego or a routine that's unique to you. And so we try to get a little personal scorecard.

So getting people to think differently versus just fluffy cookie cutter, old school ways, or, you know, like sometimes people overly rely on just doing a lot of goal setting. I'm like, ah, like, it's like, yeah, like goal setting matters, but like that's often just perpetuates people into the results trap. And so, um, so it doesn't mean not to do it, but we've got to be mindful of how we do it. And often for a high performing elite athlete, it's not the starting point. They've already got the goals, write them down some more and kind of like change it a whole lot. So the, um, at least in the short term. So that's, uh, yeah, that was a bit of a rant, but yeah. Well, there's a couple of things

that I think are so important. I just want to point out, I like what you said about being versus doing right. The doing is the results. The being is how am I showing up today? And what are, what do I, how do I want to be right? What are my thoughts, my emotions, my actions. And I was thinking also how this relates to people in sales or people building their business. And it's really easy. I do some coaching with financial planners and people who are in sales, and it can be really easy to get so caught up in the results. You know, like I'm not where I want to be this quarter. And then their identity gets tied to that. And then usually, right, it's really hard to stay excited about what you're doing. And so I'm hearing, you know, what you're saying and how it relates to not just sport, but our career as well.

A hundred percent. Like it's, and it can be easy in a lot of businesses where the, the scorecard is very apparent every day. Like there's like how many sales you make today or what's the, you know, the investment return. And, um, and so, and this was being mindful of actually how much they consume that we call it like mental junk. Like it's, it matters, but if you're constantly looking at it all day long, just like, like it's going to create all this like noise in your head and it's pulling you.

And that's why I call it the allure. It's sucking you back in to be results oriented. Yeah. It's the goal. I'm not saying it for not to be a goal and attention, but don't make it your priority. Like learn to prioritize who am I being in the sales call or who am I being in that moment? And who, how do I want to show up in this next section of my day or throughout the day? And if you can come from that place, then the sales were going to come better. And so, you know,

so I think that's it's definitely applicable to, to any area of life for the, like, I show it like, Hey, when we're going to be, you want to go around my kids, especially if they're not, you know, they're two or four like this, they're not managing their emotions, but who am I, how am I going to respond to that? Who am I going to be in that moment? So it's true. It's huge. And, and that's where like, I love using Todd Herman's alter ego concept. You know, he didn't invent the whole trigger, but he wrote the book. So he was like, I'm literally about it. And a great book about creating a narrative and a state of who am I going to be in these key moments of impact. And there's in different moments can pull up different traits and different characteristics. And so, you know, how I show up on a presentation versus a one-on-one coaching or making a strategic business decision is different than I show up when my kids are

having a challenge or versus where they're just playing and whatever. So I think it's a very healthy, effective and simple and powerful strategy. I always like to use the Black Mamba example. It's like pretty famous, maybe the one of the most powerful. Todd helped him curate that narrative. And it's like that that's what it's about it's this playfulness you see all you know lots of high performers in different ways playing on you know their the identity because that's what comes down to the fundamental who are you being in the moment and especially like I was doing with a salesperson or an investment person you know a couple weeks back and they're like oh making these calls I was like, let's create an identity around making the, cause it's like his failure rate was going to be something like, I forget what it was. Um, it's a lot, it's a lot, right?

Like it was like, he's going to make like 200 calls in a week. I think it was higher. It was like, he's going to make 200 calls in a week. And it was like, if he got like eight, we're like, yeah, let's do something. So that's like a 96% failure rate. I was like, you might need a mindset to deal with that. And he was like, that is like, what, like not everyone's inherently going to just naturally just embrace that. So, but you can, you have it within you. And that's, what's cool about it.

It's like, let's tap into those traits. When have you dealt with and, and done with it? Well, it's like, and I, what I also tried to flip it. I was like, let's like, learn to like, it's like, you want into those traits when have you dealt with and and done with it well it's like and i what i also tried to flip it i was like let's like learn to like it's like you want to get like if you don't get um 192 no's in the this week it's a failure does that make sense like you want all those no's because this is what gets that that's just what you're signing up for and if you want to do that don't do this career like go find a new career like i always like telling people that in a respectful way i'm not trying to get them to do it but it allows us like hey this is a choice you're choosing to do this like as an athlete you choose to go and perform you don't have to

a lot of times we have to need to should now you're not focused on who you're being you're focused on what you're doing i have to go and do this today i need to go and work like you don't have to do shit like like unless you're literally being forced like you're not being forced you might feel sometimes like you don't have a choice but like it's healthy and effective to remember that you do because if you don't think you have a choice and you're not going to choose to be mindset first you're just doing it because you have to need to should the results oriented um, yeah, no, it definitely applies to like, I I've, I haven't intentionally tried to get too much into the business world yet. It's one of the

things I will be intentionally doing more in due time because I'm just, we're just a tackling the sport world so much right now, but it's just naturally people like, you know, I had like a surgeon comes like, Hey, I wonder, I want to see if I can like, can you coach me like an athlete? I was like, yeah, I can. So it worked. And like, yeah. And so, um, and I think, I think the mental game is similar in sport versus surgery versus financial planning. So that makes complete sense. So the book we're talking about is alter ego by Todd Herman. Very good book. Yellow. It's yellow. I have it on my shelf. So you're, you're making me just okay. I better pick it up and read it again. But before we kind of move on to some other ideas, I want to ask you one question, Cassidy, about being versus doing, right? Because I think as people are listening, they're like, yeah, I want to be. And how would you say people should learn and practice? And I'm just saying practice because it's, you know, you're right. It's so easy to get, you know, tied up in the results, especially when you look at ESPN

and you know, what's, what's emphasized in our culture. So how do you think people can learn to be versus do? Great question. Um, not, not an easy answer. The I'll preface first. I like, I want to put the, the B do have trifecta, like in a, in a, in a row, because the main probably reason someone's going to have a hard time doing B overdue is because they're have oriented, which our society is consumeristic. I want to have more achieve more. Um, I was doing this as a pro athlete the other day around,

uh, they're uh they're they're like i want to be happy i was like that's the happiness trap i was like i'm happy when i achieve this or i'm happy if i have this i'll be happy when like let's don't try to be happy in life have a meaningful life that's gonna have happiness in it but like there's gonna be challenges she's gonna be happy all the time like this is one of the fluffy things that sometimes happens in sports like oh it's just about being positive all the time well it's like you know trevor moe i did a great job talking about being centered and neutral and helping debunk that myth which is still just super i'll like say something for like 10 minutes

to an athlete never said be positive they're like what's your takeaway i gotta be more positive i'm like oh no you didn't get it i was like it's like yeah it's an oversimplification that can actually do a lot of harm and so yeah but anyways the point being it's funny um the have oriented mindset is the consumeristic like i want to have more achievement i want to get to the next level i want to win again and and so forth which there's nothing wrong with having things and having goals but if if you start with there what are you going to do well if i want to have this then what am i going to do to have all that so now i'm going to focus on what i'm doing to have it and if i want to do these things who i have to be in order to do these things to to have these things. So you started with results first, have first. And so the reality is it always flows the other way.

Start with who do I want to be? How do I want to live my life? How do I want to show up in my sport? What are the things I'm going to, you know, where am I going? And what are the moments and what matters to me? And who would I want to be in that moment? Therefore, this is what I do if I'm being this. And that leads to these goals, intentions, potential results. And so that that's a fundamental way, again,

be mindset first is your priority. Are you just trying to beat folks on being more so that you can achieve more because then you're still going to get sucked into overly focusing on doing and achieving and not truly being some practical strategies to focus on effectively showing up in the moment or effectively being more and putting time to that obviously i'll talk about meditation because that is the most fundamental one but the sometimes people like oh it can be hard to pull someone into that um practice but the ones that i would often start with like do an alter ego exercise. It's like focus on creating a contrasting narrative and identity around who do you want to be in a certain moment? Pulling out a pulling times in your day where you in the morning set your intention or in the

evening or other moments in the day where you reflect on who you're being. So I want to spend two minutes in the morning doing a meditation or just like, Hey, like before this meeting or before my day, or before we go out, who do I want to be? And like build a routine. And like, and that's why like imagery is so impactful for athletes, especially if you use coping planning and you know, you have a narrative and focus on how you want to feel while you go play, which often athletes just focus on what they want to do while they play and not feel. So that's the power of setting an intention about it at the often before you go and then reflect after have a little, I like the personal scorecard concept where it's like, you know,

and journaling and reflecting who is I being today? Did I like how I showed up and operated and the mindset I was in and my thoughts, feelings like, no. And then you're like, yes, I did like that. And I was like, well, you know, stack up your wins and, um, and on that, but it's like no and then you're like yes i did like that so that weren't well you know stack up your wins and um and on that but it's like also a constant self-awareness self-reflection there helps you better self-correct and focus on then the next day now you're way more likely to show up the way you intend to be because you reflect and learn from the current day so those are different things as well as like any moments in the day like a reset or a you know like

the amy cuddy posture thing like those are different moments like sure um you know different tactics and obviously the most fundamental thing is like um the way to look at being versus doing is like you're not doing anything inherently when you're setting your intention to be i call it like a race car slowing down to speed up. Like, like, let's not accomplish anything when you meditate, because that's what you do when you meditate or when you reflect, you're not really accomplished anything when you set your intention in the morning, when you do your alter ego. So like, okay, I did my alter ego and look at the work I got done. Yes, there is work you got done on your mindset, but like, you don't, you didn't make any

more sales. You didn't, you know, go to the gym. You didn't shoot more pucks or like, you didn't go like, so you're slowing down so that you can speed up. You are in our society is consumeristic and what we over glorify being busy. I'm going to do, do, do, do, do. It's like, Oh gosh, like, do we not see the, the, the drawbacks of focus so much on have and do, and we've lost sight of who we're being and the mindset and who are we think and feel and what matters to us and why we're doing something in the first place. And so, and we think our why is the result. It's like, oh, that's not that.

And then you get in the happiness trap and all the mental health challenges challenges and again i'm not a clinical mental health professional to to talk about that in that realm but just like there's there's definitely some um you know we could talk about it but but the premise is um but just to give like a really zoomed out way of looking at it let alone even in athletes why you know they can struggle with their identity and the downs can be so down because they're so consumed again with the results. So, you know, mental performance, mental health are, you know, overlapping in a sense. Well, Cassie, I want to just pull out a few things that you said there, because I think the be, do, have is incredible. And I think you're right that most people go to the have, what are my goals? What do I want my results to be this season, but to start backwards, right? By who do you want

to be? And your strategies were excellent. I was thinking about, I do a lot of keynote speaking. And when I started keynote speaking, as I was listening to you, I had this realization that I was really results oriented at the beginning. Oh, are they going to like me? Are they going to like the message? And I was thinking a lot about them. And then what I've learned over time, well, that's, that's, that's just like weighs you down. And then you're not in the present moment. And you're thinking of distracting, right? And if I can just show up as me and authentic, and that's actually how, you know, how we all connect with each other. It's like, if I'm less

worried about if I said, um, or, uh, or for sure not thinking about what people think about me, it just goes, I do so much better. Right. And so I think there's so many different ways that you can apply the B do have in your life. Oh, for sure. Yeah. And I'm, I've done some keynote and public speaking. I'm doing more, I'm doing a course and they talk, um, uh, you know, a really good course about a couple of things, but even again, it's like, who am I going to be on stage? Like, why am I on stage in the first place and like what kind of and and help that will lead to the impact but it's like it's it's very much a lot of like it's easy and that's why a lot of people are afraid of public speaking because they're so worried about what everyone

thinks of them and so then they reserve and then they'll get that opportunity to share and have an impact and um and and share your light share your message. But I think what's a healthier, like kind of a way I like to, you know, trying to keep processing is like, well, you can't, no one's not, everyone's going to like you. It's like, sometimes that says more about them than you. Like it's not about you at all. That's a fantasy. You go back to a fantasy nightmare. It's like, I want to be liked by everybody. No one is like by everybody all the time, everywhere. Like it's not a fantasy nightmare it's like i want to be liked by everybody no one is like by everybody all the time everywhere like it's not a thing it's there's nobody that's like that so but yet a lot of us seek these fantasies and you debunk that then it can allow you to let go of the

results and just well who do i want to go and be and yes this might get these are my intended results and want the audience to be inspired and whatever. But it's, that's definitely, there's a whole mindset piece to performance. Super good. Well, one of the questions I wanted to ask you, Cassidy, is you have like a, what you call a CEP three-step system to figuring out the mental game. So tell us a bit about that system and let's talk a little bit about that. Yeah. So it was just a, it's a very pragmatic

way of, okay, well, what can you expect if you want to do some one-on-one coaching and you really want to work on your mental game mindset? Well, step one is to like, make it more tangible, break it down. Like, and we use this brick house, straw house mentality as well. It's like, you wouldn't build your house, but without a blueprint, it's like, Hey, let's go work on your mental game, but we really don't know what we need to prioritize or where some struggling areas are, where we got to work on. So, so that's step one is like, Hey, let's just get some common language. Some, you know, it creates a bit of a blueprint now that now we know what strategies to go build based on what's needs the most attention and focus the priorities and what you're already doing well we can reinforce so and that includes both a mental

skills part like some seven different skills and blocks for each so the which i call like limiting belief so there i we use like trick questions i like to call them sometimes um that uh it's like the the main reason i play sport is to win. It's like 10. I agree. It's like, oh, it's a trick question. It shouldn't be the main reason, but it's, I don't expect it to be a one. Okay. And so it was like a gut response. It's getting at the subconscious yet. No, yeah. Like the main reason I play sports is to win. It's like, oh, if you're a 10 there, then you've got a results, you know, you're in the results trap. You have a results oriented thing. It's going to be hard for you to be immersed in the process and all and then all the skills and blocks

are interrelated, but it helps us identify and pinpoint things. And so we can clear stuff and make priorities a lot quicker. So that's step one. Step two is then to personalize the tools and the concepts. So this is now the we go to the brick house, let's put some bricks and some mortar together. So the mortar to me is the concepts that's acceptance, um, commitment, and, you know, owning your capabilities is often a commitment. It's the one, two punch, and then being centered and grounded or neutral thinking as well as then, uh, enjoyment, enjoying for the sake of itself and enjoying and keeping it loose, fun, um um you know intrinsic why so if you understand and personalize those concepts well a lot of them are common sense

but not common practice and that's where the strategies are the bricks that then pull it all together versus just a bunch of mortar this is like a long round place with bricks without mortar don't work either so um and we, and we want very practical strategy. We have four fundamental ones that we always do. Um, that's what I've hit on them already. Like the alter ego, the reset, the personal scorecard and imagery, mental prep pieces. Like those are the fundamental, like game day oriented, you know, and practice oriented, but like daily strategies, there's lots of other things we do and that help, you know,

continue to build that brick house that's personalized for an athlete um but those are the fundamental ones and so that's so now we've got things rolling and again all this is built on the foundation of mindset first and so that's built in as one of the concepts and one of the like you know those that's tied into the strategies but because if not then we're building a brick house, not a good foundation. And then, and the fun contrast as well, you think like brick house, why we went with that analogy is because a lot of times people's mental game advice that they get from people that aren't professionals is like, don't worry about it. Just be confident. Like, uh, don't think of that. Like that's, um, or let's just do goal setting and, um, that's cookie cutter, fluffy stuff.

That's building a house out of straw. And what happens when the big bad wolf, which is pressure and adversity comes along, it's not sustainable. And so you can't avoid pressure and adversity and doing anything with, um, as a high performer. So we want to be prepared for it. So that's what we now got this brick house. But then stage three is actually to sustain it. Because just because you built it and you started going, like you got to constantly tweak and refine.

This is not a one and done thing. Just like nothing in life is. There's constant upkeep and upgrades. Your alter ego could change over time. Your reset routine. There's new adversities, new things to be willing to accept. You know, the evolutions in life. And as you, as we grow and like, even think of like accept you know the evolutions in life and as you as we grow

and like even think of like you know the professional athletes you know i'm sure you've worked with in the hype for sometimes we're not talking about sport it's like dealing with the personal stuff and the life stuff i'm managing that because it's affecting it's coming into the their mental game in their sport and so um it's there's a there's a never-ending process to it. Now, it doesn't mean you have to do one-on-coaching forever, although it's not a bad idea, and everyone can always benefit from having an outsider and a coach and a mentor to lean on.

Maybe you don't do it as frequently or whatever, but don't just start it. And the thing we always don't want to do too much of is like, hey, do a couple months, help somebody out. They're gone. They're not together. It's like, hey, good luck. See luck see you later and like three four months later they didn't keep doing the work and then they stop getting the results because they stop

putting their mindset first stop you know using the reset routine the strategies reflection etc and that goes back to old habits so that's uh that's the system so it gives us a great framework how people understand oh what am i signing up for it's like because that's the system so it gives us a great framework how people understand oh what am i signing up for it's like because that's often the heart like oh yeah i want to go do sports like you know mental performance what do we do it's like what does that mean what does that mean how is it going to roll out and now yeah every athlete rolls out pretty different and every high performer because maybe we focus on a different concept first or a different strategy that's where again the blueprint helps us personalize it and streamline it quickly.

And there's all kinds of other tools that we don't always use. But pretty much everyone will do or at least touch on those four fundamental strategies as well as then coloring in the concepts as needed. Yeah, that's awesome. I was, well, my last month or so, I went through Brene Brown's Dare to Lead training, that's awesome. I was, um, a little, my last month or so I went through Brene Brown's dare to lead training, which is incredible. And in one of, um, I heard her say in one of the videos that was watching something like that, she's never met a transformational leader, um, that has not gone through coaching or therapy. And it was like, whoa, right? As we kind of think about

the power of these things that we're talking about is that we all need the space to be able to train our mind and to think about these concepts and apply them and get unstuck. There's so many different things I could ask you about your system, Cassidy, but since you mentioned Trevor Moab's book about neutral thinking and say a little bit more about that because I could imagine that people who are listening aren't not quite sure what that actually means. Yeah. So it's really helping debunk positive thinking as not the solution because a lot of people, oh, no negative thinking ain't going to be very helpful. Oh, I suck. You're beating yourself up. i can't

do it like that's and you know and he does a good job i think i don't remember all the lines but it's like really highline like you say that stuff out loud like the more you perpetuate like it's the compound negative effect of it is very we want to minimize that so but then the natural inclination for our society is well if i if I don't want to be negative, that means I should be positive. No, that is not that. Like, cause if you try to do that and that's most people are just oscillating between positive and negative talent and it's like, and they yo-yo and they're elated and deflated. And it's, that's not the model that is a judgmental, uh, polarized, emotionally charged model that is not sustainable and nor is it true anyways because no one event is overly negative and no one event is just all positive there's benefits and drawbacks

and the so the premise you really kind of you know popularize this idea of neutral thinking well we're not positive because that's not sustainable we're not negative let's go to neutral i like to use the word centered and about moving forward. And so it's about, if we're not going from left to right, you know, people can't see me from negative on one side of pause on the other. It's like, let's go in a completely different direction. Let's go up, let's go forward, which is about, there's going to be benefits and drawbacks. There's going to be, you know, failures and successes and adversity and, and wins along the way, but I can learn and grow. And I can stay balanced and see things for what they are and move forward. And so it takes out the judgmental,

emotional language and narrative that then holds so many people back. And so that's what, so to, and the wheel that we created in a mindset, like that's the foundational, like kind of a base thing where, uh, where's the growth mindset, being a leader, being able to deal with stuff and learn and move forward. Like that's being centered, that's being grounded, um, and, and rooted in the reality of a situation versus fantasies and nightmares and positive negative. So that's, uh, yeah, it's been written a couple of books about it. So it's done some good stuff. Yeah. So people want to read more about that. Trevor Moab's book about neutral thinking, just to reiterate that. Okay. So one other big question before we wrap up, Cassie, I think we could, we could spend several hours here talking, but I know your assessment measures, the seven

mental skills, and you had mentioned those as you were talking about your system, let's pick one and let's dive into one that you think maybe is the most helpful or powerful. Yeah. Well, they're, they're, so the four on the bottom are the ones we work on the most or most commonly because it's the foundation and those are focusing on the process, being immersed in that on one side and confidence and owning your capabilities on the other and the middle is like composure and resilience they're all interrelated there's we were saying this the other day there's no one that's super resilient but then struggles a lot with confidence like it's like or someone that's really confident but then has struggles with resilience like if you're struggling resilience your confidence is going to come down but what

um in terms of picking one it's like so whatever one we focus on, it's generally one of the folks on the one that's the lowest, because it's going to help all the others around it as well. So the most. Yeah, let's pick confidence. I think that's really, and I honestly, the, and I say, let's pick that one because the people I coach, they're really, really great, incredible high performers, but they can all lack confidence. And I think we have to protect it. So let's dive into that one. If you're cool

with that. A hundred percent. Yeah. And it's the most common one that's low and probably like focus, but it, and again, it depends on the person and it depends on your interpretation of the questions. So the way that I like to break down, you know, confidence and then the mental block that goes with it, the yoga confidence is I'll give you a solution to cure it forever. Like you want to never have a confidence problem again. The solution is to stop using the word, to minimize using the word, be mindful of the word itself, because the word in our society is so tainted with external validation and results and praise. So, because as soon as an athlete or a person identifies, you know, I have a confidence problem. I'm struggling, you know, with my confidence right now. The solution is not very easy now. Like, it's like, well, what, like, show me you have a confidence problem. You can't, you can't point to it. You

can't like, says who, says who has a confidence problem a confidence well what is it like it's not easy for people to then work on and prioritize and then for a lot of athletes it becomes a self-perpetuating thing i am somebody now they identify and have a narrative that they struggle with confidence which that in and of itself is hard to debunk so i'll have to go to athletes like who says you had a confidence problem i was like maybe you don't i was like like oh maybe i don't have a confidence problem like i like that idea i was like yeah and that's like so what is true confidence really about is about owning your capabilities do you believe in what you're capable and so well then let's take out the belief part and just go straight to the well let's are you owning your capabilities did you own your capabilities today and in a moment and now

and if you position it's like well i'm having a problem or a challenge owning your capabilities? Did you own your capabilities today and in a moment? And now, and if you position it's like, well, I'm having a problem or a challenge owning my capabilities. The solution seems a lot easier now. Like it's, it's a lot more, oh, well then the result, like, what am I going to do about it? Well, I got to focus and go back. What am I actually capable based on the work I put in? And now it's not always as easy as that. There can be like, you know, lingering things and constantly being too hard on ourselves and learning to own, like actually learning to own your greatness and your capabilities as a whole thing, debunking the narrative. Cause maybe it's like, oh yeah, that's great.

But they're really holding on that narrative. Yeah. But I'm just somebody that's always hard on myself and I can't own it. I have imposter syndrome or those kinds of things, or I, or I really struggled to, I just really believe I have aoster syndrome or those kinds of things, or I, or I really struggled to, uh, I just really believe I have a confidence issue. So it's not inherently that simple, but that shift for me, I think is fundamental. And we like to teach and help athletes, like let's own your capabilities and focus on doing that as a trade and, and, and so you can trust your training and own it versus not.

And, um, and so that shift can like, you know, in a way, you're not having a confidence problem anymore because the only problem you have is the only capability problem. But so that's one of the first fundamental ways. And we'll even do it with an athlete with like put into like an EA games rating. And so let's just say they're a pretty good player

in their league. They're like a 95 rating well just because you have 95 rating doesn't mean your performance will be 95 day in day out but um we can now show up every day owning that you're a 95 there's no reason not to and what i like to do with that rating as well as like i take mindset out of it there's no like um well but my mindset's no no no let's let's not rate, well, but my mindset's a little, no, no, no. Let's just not rate our mindset. Like comparing one person's mindset to another is like, what the heck does that even mean? Like it's all relative. And, but skill is a lot more tangible, easy to relate. Like, are you faster than this person? Well, then you are faster. Like if,

you know, can you shoot better? Can you do this? Like execute? Do you understand the system? Like, um, let's rate your capability and do it based on capability, not performance. A lot of times athletes, it's like, oh yeah, this guy's a 95. He's got this result. I'm not 95. So that's now an excuse. I was, I don't want, I won't don't want you to rate yourself based on performance. I want you to rate yourself on capability. If you and that person competed in practice and you're both free and in the moment and you did 100 scoring drills you did 100 great

like how would you rank how would you like well i'm right there with then that's what you're capable and i always like to then people like well then try that on they're like oh this feels uncomfortable well imposter syndrome coming in they're still tying it to results i'm like but does it seem wrong they're like no but i'm uncomfortable look we'll just try it on for a week walk around own your capabilities like oh shit it's like so it's like oh this doesn't feel that bad and that's like and then you finally get comfortable with it because you're just not used to wearing and own your capabilities and so it doesn't mean it's wrong so i try to treat it more as like a factual thing than this

overly belief thing now there's there's still other things to be done with that and learning to own and understand and self-belief and and self-worth and self-image and other components out of it but to me that's the main most common issue with confidence has to do with the belief that it's about results and praise and external validation and understand that's actually about believing in owning your capabilities and what you're capable of. So that's a bit long winded, but to me, um, yeah, yeah, I think, I think I read it. What I really appreciate is how you define confidence is just like owning your capabilities. And I think every

single person can do that. And it is really interesting how people generalize, you know, like I have a confidence problem or I have an imposter syndrome, you know, and there's this great, oh, I'd have to, it was the CEO of LinkedIn just gave an amazing talk to like a graduation speech about how stop telling women they have an imposter syndrome. You should Google it. It's amazing. But it's all about like how, you know, we kind of label this on ourselves. Like I have a confidence problem where I'm imposter syndrome, which, you know, maybe instead you just doubt yourself like everyone else does. And that's not a bad thing. Like doubt can be very healthy in a way like it's um people think oh i need to have no doubt that's one of our trick questions like says who like like having doubt

is a healthy thing like it's like oh i doubt if i can jump that bridge yeah that's keeping you alive because you can't you can't jump that bridge like it's um you can't trick your brain it's like i had an athlete once they thought confidence meant they had to believe they're the best player in the league and that worked for them when they're in division two italian league and then they went to the top tier and they're like hey well i gotta tell myself i'm the best he wasn't the best anymore he was not the most talented best player it was creating all kinds of inner turmoil he's like when he's yo-yoing back and forth between i'm the best no i'm not the best you can't trick yourself like if you're not that if you're not ronaldo if you're not you know mckinnon you're not you know mcdavid

like you can't walk around saying you are like it's now downplaying yourself that's a problem and that's what most athletes do i'm not telling you to upplay yourself and become arrogant it's but own your greatness and what you're capable of as for what it is and and i love the todd's take i think it's pretty similar imposter syndrome i might not get it exactly but he wrote some good articles around it debunking it's actually um imposter um phenomena this actually was the fundamental thing exactly it wasn't like a syndrome, not inherently a syndrome. It's like, um, the only people that really struggle with, you know, being an imposter are people that are being something that they're not like, it's like, I'm going around and in posturing that,

like, you know, I'm a magician, but like, I'm not, I'm an imposter. Like, but if I go around, I'm like, Oh, am I that good of a mental performance coach it's like well i'm i'm as good as what i'm capable based on the work i put in the practice and reflection and and the the reps and everything i've done like i'm i might doubt my capabilities at time because i'm human but am i am i being fake am i not being it's like you're being who you're being and um and so we don't have to label it as being an imposter and debunking it. And that's often tied to worrying too much about what other people think instead of my opinion matters most.

Who do I think I'm a good performance coach? Yeah. So then I don't need the external validation of a client or so-and-so or whoever. I know who I am and what I'm capable. I'm not trying to be arrogant. Like you don't want a person to go out there like, hey, go tell everyone you're the best. And this and that, that's not confidence. Now we're not talking about confidence capability.

You're talking about how you interact with others. And you can walk through a room with no one there owning your capabilities. And you can walk through a room the exact same way with a bunch of people there. Some people will be like, yeah, the person's confident. And usually you can kind of see that and they're owning their capabilities.

Some people won't be like, I don't know. And then some people are like, oh, he's arrogant. That's their perception of you. And you can kind of see that and they're owning their capabilities some people won't be like i don't know and then some people like oh he's arrogant that's their perception of you and you can't control that if you're trying to make everyone think you're confident now you might come across as arrogant or if you just think you're better than everybody then you might come across as arrogant but the there's definitely some misunderstandings there and um uh yeah i think there's one other thing todd said around imposter syndrome, but like even just the word like authentic and which is a unique word because, you know, obviously it's like, Hey, we want to be true to ourselves, but like, who are we?

It's like a really good fundamental question. And we're awareness and choice and the author and narrator of our own lives, which I can dive. I like that narrative but the but the other way to think of is like um uh like a handbag is it's like an authentic handbag or it's like an authentic piece of clothing like a baseball card is authentic right like because it is a tangible thing but like um so but then it's like well this is an imposter card because it's like it's fake it's not the real one it's an imposter it's not being authentic and it's it's like so that has to do

with like handbags and baseball cards and stuff as people it's like you're just you get to choose and create how you show up and live your life and um you know which is in some ways authentic to you but then with like oh well am i being my real Am I like, you get to say who you are like now don't again, say you're something and be a true imposter. Say yourself, you're something you'd like, Oh, I'm going to go deliver a great keynote, but I've never rehearsed in practice. You are being an imposter. I'm going to go speak about neuroscience. I know nothing about it. Like, right. Yeah. That's not what you want to do. I can do it. I'm going to, I'm, I say I'm a heart surgeon. Therefore my heart, but you've never gone to the, like you are being an imposter, but, um, but the imposter syndrome or authenticity or credibility of yourself is, um, we create these narratives that are actually, you know, not, not serving. So, um, yeah, so good. I think what you did, what you said right at the beginning of that answer is just like doubt is a healthy

thing. And sometimes even the elite athletes I work with, like there was one I was talking with yesterday and she was like, I just want the doubt to go away. And I was like, well, it's not good. You're human. So it's not going to completely go away. And it's like, there's, you know, the U S championships was yesterday for track and field. Like, of course you might have some doubt and that's okay. You know, but we like judge ourselves because we're doubting ourselves. And then I think we just, you know, focus becomes more, it just grows because we're focusing on it more. Um, so Cassidy, where tell us where people can find out more about your work and your practice. Yeah. I want to say one thing to that.

And then I will, because I think it's too, I love talking about the word acceptance and I didn't get to talk about it much. And it ties exactly like accepting the doubt, accepting the range of results. Like I had a national level swimmer here and it was like, she was like, oh my God, I don't like, cause it was a ratio and done a while. What's the range of results? A golf was the range of results. Like, as I doubt my, except the range, except the range within a term, except the range

within a meet, except like, if you can't, and a lot of times our society phrases, the word acceptance or misconstrues or misunderstands it to be a weakness. It's like, oh, we can't accept things. That's for, that's for, if you don't care and you're ambivalent right which sometimes misconstrue centeredness around or neutral thinking uh that's for hippies or whatever like i like it's like no that's not what acceptance with commitment is a powerful one-two punch you want to commit to your race plan you want to commit to how you want to show up then accept and let go of the range of results and so you want to commit you want to be a great public speaker except some people might not like you now of results. And so you want to commit, you don't want to be a great public speaker,

except some people might not like you. Now you can commit to who you want to be. And, but if you don't accept that some people might not like what you have to say, then you might not fully commit. And the range is like, maybe someone's not ready to hear what you have to say or whatever. And Hey, you're human. Like maybe, maybe you like, you know, your message isn't for everyone or whatever. But I think that the concept of the acceptance one commitment, one, two punch and, and seeing, I like the frame is like, it's,

it's a superpower being able to fully accept and to accept your doubt. And yeah, it's a healthy thing versus like, Oh no, we need to remove it. And it's like, when you accept it, you let it go. And now it's not weighing on you. And, but it's, it's not like, Oh, well, I have no doubts. Sometimes people overpopulate. I want to have no no doubts going i want to know for certain we're going to win what i like like i get it you can be fully committed and really believe in yourself so i'm always like but sometimes we've over popularized that and like media or like oh yeah this person's just so confident they were going to win how many people have done that and then lost like tons like we don't talk about those people like it's like how many times has someone predicted they were going to win and then lost like all the time it doesn't that's not what we're trying to do from a mindset

standpoint and then it creates this narrative that i can't accept um how many coaches and parents like you know we can't tolerate that it's unacceptable it's like no we're not saying we should tolerate failure or losing or whatever and like it's just like hey everything's unacceptable it's like no we're not saying we should tolerate failure or losing or whatever and like it's just like hey everything's okay it doesn't matter it's just accepting it for the reality of what it is i'll give one final example because i i always think it's quite powerful the surgeon i was i one of the surgeons i was working with and great surgeon and it was like he was getting like he's nothing wrong with his ability to do surgery but he wanted to kind of keep growing he's like yeah i'm kind of do surgery, but he wanted to kind of keep growing.

He was like, yeah, I'm kind of worried during the thing. I'm like, oh, I got to teach this guy about acceptance. I'm like, this is a little bit different than teaching an athlete about accepting results. So I was like, okay, well, like, again, I don't want you to be indifferent to your patients living or dying. Like, I don't want you to be indifferent. You will care. You can care.

But if you're not willing to accept the range, then like, you're not like, don't want you to be indifferent you will care you can care but if you're not willing to accept the range then like you're not like don't be a surgeon like this is the burden of being a surgeon like that like things might not always work out it's like oh no one ever said it to me that way before heart rate dropped during surgeries as a mind was even more i'd use the bill to be more adaptable like cetera. So it's like the acceptance to me is a superpower. It allows you to commit to your process and how you want to show up in a moment and applying that without, or, or any other level of noise. So anyway, sorry, I'll answer that, your actual question, but I haven't got to say acceptance yet. That's one of my

think differently. Cause I think solid people don't like, they don't under really understand the power of acceptance. So, well, thank you so much for sharing that with us. So before I wrap up and summarize today, I'll do my best to do that. Tell us where people can find more about your coaching and your business and just, you know, where can we follow you at Cassidy? Yeah.

So CEP mindset.com is our website. We've got some Instagram. I'm on Twitter, not somewhat active at Cassidy Preston. So those are the main things. But yeah, if you come on our website, you can learn about our offers, coaching, workshops, keynote stuff, as well as hopefully the book will be on there. That will start to get announced. We have a newsletter, weekly newsletter, send out some different tips and that kind of stuff.

So you can subscribe to that if they want. And obviously would love to hear, reach out at my emails, Cassidy at CEPmindset.com. Love to hear what people took out of the episode, what their takeaways. So definitely contact me, email, on social media, whatever. Love to hear what people got. Awesome.

So CEPmindset.com and Cassidy at CEPmindset.com. And I think there was so much value in this episode, Cassidy, because we talked about so many great things. This idea of like thinking about who you want to be over, you know, first before what you want to do. And we were talking about how people can prioritize results. So we are discussing be, do, and have, and starting with the be. We talked about alter ego, which I really like that, and just different ways to connect with the be. You gave some great strategies there. And we were talking about confidence is like owning your capabilities and just at the end of confidence and acceptance and accepting doubt, for example, that it is a healthy thing.

So Cassidy, way to bring it here today on the high performance mindset. I'm grateful that you're on and look forward to hearing you reach out to both of us about the episode. My email is syndra at syndracampoff.com. So thanks again for being here, Cassidy. I appreciate you. Awesome. Thank you for having me.

Way to go for finishing another episode of the High Performance Mindset. I'm giving you a virtual fist pump. Holy cow, did that go by way too fast for anyone else? If you want more, remember to subscribe and you can head over to Dr. Sindhra for show notes and to join my exclusive community for high performers where you get access to videos about mindset each week. So again, you can head over to Dr. Sindhra, that's D-R-C-I-N-D-R-A.com. See you next week.