High Performance Mindset | Learn from World-Class Leaders, Consultants, Athletes & Coaches about Mindset - 56: Don't Take Things Personally

Episode Date: July 6, 2016

In his book The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz said, “Nothing people do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dreams.” When we take things personally, we let criticism and negativity eat at us. We can overreact, get offended, and hold grudges. We create conflicts that can impact relationships long-term. When you take things personally, you allow the words of others to poison you. You get further away from your goals and dreams. You cannot be a high performer – or reach your full potential – when you take things personally. In this episode, Dr. Kamphoff provides several strategies you can do instead of taking what others do or say personally. You can reach Cindra at [e-mail] or on Twitter @Mentally_Strong.

Welcome to High Performance Mindset with Dr. Sindra Kampoff. Do you want to reach your full potential, live a life of passion, go after your dreams? Each week we bring you strategies and interviews to help you ignite your mindset. Let's bring on Sindra. Welcome to the High Performance Mindset Podcast. This is your host, Syndra Kampoff, and I'm grateful that you're here ready to listen to a message about not taking things personally. You know, I love Jimmy Kimmel's regular segment called Mean Tweets, where stars, leaders, and politicians read hateful tweets that others have posted on Twitter about them. Here's a few recent segments. Steph Curry, the Golden State Warrior point guard,

and this year's MVP read, imagine the damage Steph Curry would be doing in the NBA if he didn't have such a girly name. Hashtag change it to Steve. Or how about this one? Rascal Flatts, the country music group who has 13 number one hits, read this. Please do us all a favor and stop making music. You are so awful. Hashtag so bad. Hashtag spare us.

Hashtag sounds of death. President Obama, the President of the United States, read, How do you make Obama's eyes light up? Shine a flashlight in his ears. And this is one of my favorites. Aaron Andrews, the ESPN football commentator and host of ABC's hit show Dancing with the Stars, said this, Hopefully a bald-eared temple will knock the stupid out of you. You know, many of these mean tweets make me laugh out loud. But if any of these stars or leaders would have taken these tweets

or what other people have said personally, they would not be where they are today, leading their country, their industry, or their craft. They wouldn't be staying gritty and working to follow their goals and their dreams every single day. This topic is so important for us because we can easily take things personally. But in his book Four Agreements, Don Michael Ritt said this, Nothing people do is because of you. What others say or do is a projection of

their own reality, a projection of their own dreams. You know, when we take things personally, we let criticism and negativity eat at us. And you can easily overreact, get offended, or hold a grudge when you take things personally. And you create conflicts that sometimes aren't there in the first place that can impact relationships long term. And when we take things personally, we allow the words of others to poison us. You start believing in their opinions and you get further away from your goals and your dreams. My friends, we can't be high performers or work to reach our greater potential when we take things personally. So what should you do instead? First, the decision is to make a decision to not take things personally and to decide to protect yourself.

And when you do this, you avoid needless suffering. You can't get hurt by others, and your anger, your irritation, your jealousy, frustration, and your conflicts with others lessen. When you work to not take things personally, you're happier and more at your best. I think that sounds pretty good. What do you think? So today I have a few strategies for you to consider the next time you are taking things personally. The first strategy is to show empathy.

Remember, it's not about you. Consider what's going on in the other person's life. Put yourself in their shoes. Maybe they're having a bad day or someone in their family is sick. You know, you have no idea what the other person is dealing with. And instead of getting frustrated or angry or taking it personally, instead decide to show love and care for the other person. And just ask yourself, what else could this mean instead of taking it to heart? Another strategy that the highest performers use, and I'm thinking about the tweets that I read to start this podcast episode.

You know, it's more important when you think about yourself than what others think about you. So it's important to keep your belief in yourself high and use phrases like that start with I am to keep you confident and excited. So maybe I am confident. I have what it takes. I am mentally strong. And the third strategy is to think like a 60 year old. And this is what I mean. This is one of my favorite quotes by Dr. Daniel Amen. He said this, when you're 18, you worry what everyone is thinking about you. When you're 40, you don't give a darn what anyone thinks about you. And when you're 60, you realize no one's been thinking about you at all. So my friends, let's work to think like 60 year olds, regardless of your age. And not take things personally.

Realize that no one's been thinking about you at all. Because high performers don't take things personally. They know nothing people say or do is about them. And what they think about themselves is more important than what other people think about them. They don't allow the words of others to poison their grit or their belief in themselves. And what they think about themselves is more important than what other people think about them. They don't allow the words of others to poison their grit or their belief in themselves. And they take control of their destiny. So let's end with an affirmation. You can find this affirmation on my Twitter page, at mentally underscore strong.

And you can also find it on the show notes page where you can go to cindracampoff.com slash don't take things personally. And you can find this affirmation there. If you'd like to download it, share it, that would be awesome. And here's the affirmation. I don't take what other people do or say personally. I don't let the words of others poison my grit or my belief in myself. I take control of my destiny. Thanks for tuning in today. If you haven't subscribed to the podcast, you can do that on iTunes or Stitcher Radio. And if you like today's message, please leave a comment on iTunes. That just helps us reach more awesome people like you. All right, my friends, make it an outstanding week and be mentally strong. Thank you for listening to High Performance Mindset.

If you like today's podcast, make a comment, share it with a friend, and join the conversation on Twitter at Mentally Underscore Strong. For more inspiration and to receive Sindra's free weekly videos, check out DrSindra.com.