High Performance Mindset | Learn from World-Class Leaders, Consultants, Athletes & Coaches about Mindset - 60: Attack the Process with Daily Discipline with Performance Coach, Ben Newman

Episode Date: July 29, 2016

Ben Newman, Performance Coach, has shared the stage with Ray Lewis, Jerry Rice, and assisted the record setting 5-straight Division I National Football Champion North Dakota State Bison. In this inspiring and energetic interview, he talks about what separates the best from the rest. He says the best do two things: 1) they have a deep connection to their purpose, and 2) they have the daily discipline to reach high performance. Ben explains that the best have the Power of the Reframe and are always focused on solutions not problems. They attack the process, even though we naturally focus on results, and take adversity in real-time. They stay humble and hungry always focused on what they can control – their attitude, effort, and belief. You can find Ben on Twitter @ContinuedFight. To get your free Mental Toughness Playbook, visit freeplaybook.net and learn more about Ben Newman at bennewman.net. You can also find information about his group coaching at iwantgroupcoaching.com.

Welcome to High Performance Mindset with Dr. Sindra Kampoff. Do you want to reach your full potential, live a life of passion, go after your dreams? Each week we bring you strategies and interviews to help you ignite your mindset. Let's bring on Sindra. Welcome to the High Performance Mindset Podcast. This is your host, Sindra Kampoff, and thank you so much for joining me here today. I'm grateful that you're here, ready to listen to an energetic and inspiring interview with Ben Newman. First, before we get into the interview, I just want to thank you so much for your comments, for your tweets, and your messages about the podcast and the impact of the podcast.

I am so grateful, grateful right here from my heart that you continue to listen each and every week. So thank you so much. This is why I do this podcast is for you and for you who are listening out there. I also, for those people who are new to the podcast, I want to encourage you to head over to iTunes and you can subscribe there as well as make a comment about the episode or the podcast in general. And that just helps us reach more and more people each week. So today's interview is with Ben Newman. And I first learned about Ben Newman related to his work with the five straight Division I National Football Champions, North Dakota State Bison. I know one of the assistant coaches over there and he just had, you know, raving comments to say about Ben. And so I knew he'd be excellent on the podcast and excellent for you to listen to. So let me tell you a little bit about Ben Newman.

Ben is a highly regarded performance coach, an international speaker, and a best-selling author whose clients include top companies around the world, business executives, sales organizations, and professional athletes in the NFL, the PGA, the NBA, MLB, and NCAA. There's many powerful messages that Ben provides in this interview. And really what he talks about is what separates the best from the rest. He says the best do two things. They have a deep connection to their purpose and they have a daily discipline to reach their goals. So he also talks about how the best attack the process, even though we naturally focus on results. And they have and use the power of reframe. I can't wait to hear what stands out to you about this interview.

You can head over to my website, make a comment there. You can go to drsyndra.com and click on the podcast link. And there's going to be Ben Newman's interview there, a place for you to comment. As always, you can also send a tweet to both Ben and I. My Twitter handle is at Mentally underscore Strong and Ben's is at Continued Fight. I look forward to hearing what you think about this one. Let's bring on the one and the only Ben Newman. Welcome to the High Performance Mindset Podcast. This is your host, Cindra Campoff. And today, I am excited and stoked to provide an interview with Ben Newman. So Ben, tell us about your passion and what you do.

Cindra, it is so exciting for me. Anybody who has energy like you, it's easy for me to be excited to have an opportunity to be on an interview with you, but also with all of your listeners. So, so, so excited about this. And my purpose and my passion is every day to help make a difference in other people's lives. And, you know, I think the world that we live in today is very, very complex. People are consistently focusing more on being knocked down than their ability to rise up because it is a complex world. So to be able to help people connect to their

purpose and passion that helps them rise up is what drives me every day. Awesome. And tell us kind of just a little bit about your journey on getting where you are today and how you've got there. So I had to grow up fast. So a little fair warning for everybody listening. This is a disclaimer. I'm a very emotional guy. I think these days I'm actually crying watching all the success stories of the lead-in to people competing on American Ninja Warrior. So I'm very, very emotional

and that emotion comes from the fact that I had to grow up fast. 11 days before my eighth birthday, my mother passed away from a rare muscle disease called amyloidosis and my mother is the greatest champion of life I have ever known. My mother kept a journal that was a release of her positive mental attitude. She was divorced when I was six months old, never knew my parents together. And as my mother had this rare disease, told that she was only the second woman under 40, that she had two to four years to live. In her journal, she wrote, beat the statistics, beat the odds, live with the disease that is chronic and fatal, believe in yourself, combat anything, purpose in life. And what I know is that everybody listening right now, everybody has a story that will provide perspective to give you the ability to get up on the days that you just don't

want to do it. And that's what my mother has done for me. And that's what I fight for every day to keep writing the story of her legacy. Oh, amazing. So you live really inspired, inspired by your mom and just like living on purpose. And I love that she wrote those things. How does that change you? Or how does that inform what you do would be a better question? So after I graduated from Michigan State University, I was in sales. So I was a paper broker. And then I was in the financial services space for over 10 years. And you know, really what it did was it gave me perspective that if somebody ever told me no,

it was like what this guy's seen with these two eyes before he was eight years old, you better come with some stronger heat than the words no, because it takes a lot to break me. I love it. So, you know, Ben, you get to work with a lot of the nation's best performers. What do you see that kind of really separates them? You know, what makes them rise above others? Well, I think it is a deep connection to purpose. And it's an understanding that the work that they are willing to put in today is going to be the difference in the story that they write long term. I think the way our mind is naturally wired, and I'm speaking to the expert in answering this question, but the way that the mind is wired is people have a tendency to focus on the results that they can't control rather than identifying the daily disciplines, the daily habits, the work that actually gives them a higher probability of being successful.

And I think the most successful people, they drive those daily disciplines. They understand why they're doing it, and there's a purpose that's bigger than them. And what do you see those daily disciplines that they do? Can you give us some examples of what you think that the best do? Yeah, so let's use one of my NFL players. So I work with almost 20 players in the NFL on 11 different teams. And, you know, I'll think back to a conversation with one of my players when he was an undrafted free agent.

He's going to his first training camp. And in his mind, you know, our conversation starts. And with our clients, we always let them go where their minds currently are and that's where we build from right so he's talking to me about depth charts and what if i don't make this team and what if it doesn't work out and then i started to ask him questions i said what are the things that you can control i said you can't control a depth chart you have no control over a depth chart but what are the daily disciplines what are the habits that will give you the ability to perform at your highest level but they are things that are 100 in your control so we talked

about his nutrition we talked about his extra effort in the weight room we talked about being the smartest guy in the film room we talked about knowing the playbook better than anybody else we talked about the affirmations and things he believed that he would tell himself. And he has embraced all of it. And here we are four years later. He's now a starting middle linebacker in the NFL. And articles are being written about him all the time. And it always puts a big smile on my face.

And he and I always laugh about it because the articles are written about the things that we talked about four years ago. Studying the playbook. Doing the extra work in the gym being intentional about your nutrition and i think for all of us whether it's sports or business each and every one of us you can break down the things that have made you successful in the past focus on the areas where you can improve and just hammer those daily disciplines because that will drive your results. Nice. You know, an average career in the NFL is something like three years. So he outlasted them. He has outlasted them.

I like what you're describing. At the beginning, he chose, and you had him really think about the daily disciplines, so that helped inform him for the next four years. That's right. But for him, it's that continual improvement to want to keep growing from where he is right now, right? Just get a little bit better every day. Get a little bit better every day. So whether it's somebody in business or in sports, that's a choice.

I'm trying to get better every day, right? So I still have a coach. I still have people that are helping me to push me because if we don't have that push, we don't have that drive, then how do you really get the best out of what you've been given? Absolutely. And you just stay stagnant. And, you know, none of us can grow and learn and be at our best when we're not continuing to improve. That's right. So, Ben, tell us about, you know, so you kind of said two things that you think that have the best stand out or what make the best stand out.

And you said daily disciplines and a deep connection to purpose. For those people who are listening who maybe are just like, gosh, I don't know what my purpose is. And, you know, just they feel like they're wandering. What kind of advice would you give them in terms of connecting with that purpose and how to find it? Well, I think the most important thing is to just start with simple questions, right? It's always questions. So why are you doing what you're doing? What's the underlying significance? And I always joke with people, don't tell me money. Don't tell me you're doing it for money. Because if you're doing it for money, I'm going to make you go deeper. Help me understand the white hot reason why you are doing what you're doing. Help me understand what's

the emotion tied to it. Is it from personal experience? And I think through asking yourself those questions or going out and finding a coach, and my coaching program is booked, so that's emotion tied to it? Is it from personal experience? And I think through asking yourself those questions or going out and finding a coach, and my coaching program is booked, so that's not a solicitation for my coaching, but find somebody that can help you. Find somebody that can get you to that next level to challenge that mindset. I had somebody do that for me when I was 25 years old, right before I became a financial advisor at Northwestern Mutual, and they said, write down your purpose. And so I'm this 25-year-old kid, single, no kids, and I write down to empower and inspire

individuals to uncover their passions and desires to seek a greater vision for themselves. And what's wild about having written that at 25 is that it's the exact same today. I have said that to myself every day for over 12 years now. And I share that with you to not say that you have to have a purpose today that's going to be the same 12 years from now or 20 years from now. But the importance of having an understanding of why you're doing it, that will drive your daily behaviors. Absolutely. Understanding why you do what you do.

So I liked your questions. What's the significance of what you're doing and then why are you doing it? Just starting with those questions can be really beneficial. Absolutely. So, Ben, what do you think, like, the high performers that you work with, what do you see them still struggling with? Because, you know, I ask you that question because we're all a work in progress. We're never perfect, and we all have some areas mentally that we can improve on. So the answer is real-life questions, or I'm sorry, real-life issues because they're human beings too.

I think sometimes people say, oh, well, gosh, you know, this guy's suiting up on a Sunday, and, you know, he's playing on Monday Night Football. He doesn't have problems. Well, guess what? He's got problems with his girlfriend, or he's got problems with his wife, and he's got problems with his kids, and he's making the same life decisions that we're making. The difference is his paycheck is significant.

And because people look and say, oh, he's getting paid millions of dollars, it's not different. He has life issues. He's going through life just like all of us. And I think that's where people think that it's different. But the reality is no matter what stage you are in your life, if you're fresh out of college, just getting started, if you're 25 or 30 years into your career, the real key in life is how you respond to the challenge and adversity that you face. Because no matter what level of success you have, you know, Tony Robbins faces challenge and adversity, right?

You pick your favorite athlete, they face challenge and adversity. Richard Branson faces challenge and adversity. So if you want to play big and live big with the talents that you have, you will be challenged, but how you respond will be the difference in the story you write. Nice. Awesome. Awesome. And, you know, Ben, tell us about a mindset topic that you cover with your clients. You know, what's maybe one thing that you think is central that you continually connect with? And why do you think that's so important? So since my coaching program is booked, I'll just give away the most

significant tool that I share. How about that? Is that fair? That sounds awesome. We're all like, we're celebrating on the other end. So it's called the power to reframe, the power to reframe. So the most successful people, they focus on solutions, not problems. And I learned this from my mother. My mother would receive phone calls from the Boston Medical Center that would go something like this. Dr. Skinner would call the house. She would tell my mother, I'm about five years old at the time, Janet, you need to come to Boston immediately. We're going to increase your medications. You're going to have to wear Jope stockings to go outside. You're going to have to wear a mask. All of these things that are negative, all this negativity. And my mother would hang up the

telephone and pick it right back up and call her boyfriend, Alan. And she would say, I don't care about pain, joke stockings, masks I have to wear. We are taking the boys on a family trip. Boys like Chinese food will go to Chinatown. The boys like bowling will go candlestick bowling. And that's what I remember. I remember my mother taking me on those trips.

I remember the positivity. I remember sitting at the candlestick bowling alley with my mother. We're sitting in a booth. My mom says, let's play hangman. So I draw out the hangman board. I write my little lines where the letters go for the words. And my mother guessed my word without guessing a letter. And of course I knew like 10 words at the time. I was five years old, right? But I just remember, I was just laughing. I remember my smile. I don't remember my mother's pain. And for me, if my mother was able to reframe when she was literally dying before my eyes as a young boy, then I can choose in my life to reframe when something doesn't go my way. So I think for all of us, the lesson, and as I mentioned earlier,

we all have stories, but what gives you perspective to get you up off that mat of life to stay focused on the solutions, not the problems when they come your way? I know you're going to ask me about my work with the North Dakota State Bison, and Gus Bradley, now the head coach of the Jacksonville Jaguars, I'll be at their training camp here next week. But Gus Bradley, when he goes back and speaks to the players and he speaks to his Jaguars. I'll be at their training camp here next week. But Gus Bradley, when he goes back and speaks to the players and he speaks to his Jaguars players, he always says, you know, what are you going to do when Murphy shows up, right? Murphy's law, what can go wrong will go wrong. If you think things are going to be perfect, it's just not the case. But it's how you respond

when Murphy comes banging down your door that will be the difference. Nice, Ben. You know, I call reframing like the skill that the most successful use. So I think we're on the same page with that. You know, and I love your stories about your mom and how you don't even remember the pain that she was experiencing. My uncle just was diagnosed with amyloidosis. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. So this is kind of wild that we're having this conversation and i'm hearing your perspective and i will plan to share you know just your um your your just your perspective you know what i hear her doing was that she was continuously reframing and always seeing the solution and i know that that made her live longer right that, that lengthened her life. Well, even though we are on an interview here, we're just going to get real for a second.

Send me, I need an address for your uncle. I actually wrote a book called Fight the Good Fight in 2009 about my mother, about her journey. It's rounds instead of chapters, so it's 12 rounds because life is a prize fight. And that's what I learned from my mom. She's the greatest prize fighter I've ever known. But I'd love to send a copy of the book to your uncle. That's awesome. That would be so kind of you. So tell us more about your work with North Dakota State. I know one of the coaches over there and he just raves about your work. So tell us what you've done with them and five national championships. So, you know, I know you've had a part in that. So just tell us about

kind of what you've done with them and how it gets the impact. Well, you know, it's a blessing and it's very humbling anytime any of those coaches tries to give me any credit. But I don't think you guys have seen me put on any pads or suit up, you know, to put in the actual work or see me in the weight room with those guys. And, but it's, it's a really special place. I, I had the opportunity and I'll give you guys details. Cause I think it's a, it's a fun story that you'll enjoy and there's some takeaways for everybody, but I have worked with Craig doll.

Who's a nine year NFL veteran, former cornerback for the Bison. And Craig and I have worked together for years now. And after the Bison had won their fourth straight title, Craig had reached out to Coach Kleiman, the head coach, and Tyler Roll, who's the fullbacks and tight ends coach, who Craig played with at NDSU. And Craig said, you need to bring Ben in to provide some extra fire, to give some edge, to help these guys on the mental toughness side. Not that they're not mentally tough, but just some different energy will help them beat down the door of their legacy to do something that's never been done in the history of college football, the five straight national championships.

So if everybody can picture this, they bring me in. I talk to Coach Kleinman. I talk to Coach Roll. They're all excited. I'm fired up. I'm excited. I walk into this awesome auditorium room that they have. There's a big bison head on the wall and a big auditorium seat,

and all the players are seated. This is right before their spring workouts after the fourth championship. And, of course, sitting right in the front row, no surprise, the number two draft pick to the Philadelphia Eagles, Carson Wentz, glasses on, notebook in hand, eager and having a burning desire to want to learn, to want to take it in. And that's another characteristic of champions and high performers. They're always wanting to get better.

So I deliver this talk, and we talk about, I instill these words, attack the process. Attack the process. So I share that with the team. It's something that I share in my coaching work, and that speaks to those daily disciplines we talked about earlier, is identify those daily disciplines, but then attack them every day. So attack the process. One heartbeat.

Six seconds of play, right? Breaking down the game. If there's six minutes on offense and six minutes in defense, even though there's 60 minutes in the clock, there's only about 12, 13 minutes of live action, six on each side of the ball, comes down to six seconds of play. Give me intentional focus, six seconds of play. We talked about legacy, passing that football from one generation to the next.

There were already 12 championships that had been won, four in a row. What can you learn from those that have come before you and hold that ball in your hands to take that ball and to pass it on to the next generation in a better place. So I get done with the talk. Coach Kleiman pops up. He bear hugs me. And I kind of said to myself, well, I guess that went pretty good. So that was my opportunity where there was the connection. And I think it's with all clients, right? There has to be a connection. I could have come in and bombed the opportunity or the players could have said, who's this guy? There's no connection. Get that guy out of here. But I fell in love with the team. The team fell in love with me. And you know what? We got off to a rough start. And I told the team, and this is the lesson for everybody,

no matter how big your goals and your dreams are, you will get knocked down. First game of the year, we're playing Montana. We're ranked number one. They're 13th in the country. I'm watching at home. I wasn't able to be there live. And we lose the first game of the year. So I'm sitting here on my couch thinking to myself,

I think I just got fired before I even got started. And I'm literally, I pick up my phone and I'm staring at my phone and I'm thinking to myself, okay, do I send Coach Cly a text message like in a week? Do I call him in a couple days? And it was no, it's right now. We have to stare this adversity in the face right now. And I sent him a message. I can't share the specifics of the message, but he had responded back.

This is exactly what the team needed. And I think that's a lesson for all of us. Don't run from your fears. Take them in real time. Take the challenge and recognize no matter how much challenge you face, you can grow from it. And the team responded. They went back to work. They stayed focused on the things they can control.

They were one heartbeat. Heck, we lost Carson Wentz, arguably the best quarterback in all of college football, you know, six games into the year, but the team rose up. Easton Stick rose up. He runs the table as a redshirt freshman. I mean, the story was just amazing. And it all came to fruition on January 9th, Frisco, Texas. If everybody can picture this, we just, I mean, went out and executed the game plan on both sides of the ball, the intensity, the focus. Jacksonville State didn't know what to do with these Bison.

And we won 37-13. The confetti's coming down all over the field. And I'm standing behind the stage. All the players are on the stage. And they hand the national championship trophy to coach kly and they put the microphone in coach kly's face and they said how did you do this you lost the first game of the year there was challenge there was adversity you lose carson wentz and he said every day we attack the process nice and for me to hear those words from him, and I told you guys I'm emotional.

Coach Klein and I shared tears and a big hug after he came down from that stage. But that's what life is about. You know, it's not so much the trophy. It's how much those young men grew from this experience together. It's how much I had the opportunity to grow with this team, with these coaches. And that's what life is about. That's what makes, you know, the opportunity to grow with this team, with these coaches. And that's what life is about. That's what makes, you know, the opportunity so special. And, you know, they did provide me with a national championship ring.

And now when I speak and when I wear that ring, it connects me deeply to the emotion of how special, how special this opportunity is for me, how special that university is and how amazing those kids are. And I cannot wait to be back there August 27th as we kick off the entire college football season on ESPN. So it'll be great. I've already been there this offseason.

They continually get videos from me. I'm in contact every day. But I look forward to another great season of growth together. Yeah, that's awesome, Ben. You know, I knew that they had some kind of training in sports psychology just because it's really difficult to continually be at that high level consistently. And I love what you're describing about attacking the process. What I think is really cool about our field and our work is like when coaches and athletes are using the language, then you know that you made an impact. So thank you for describing that. Another side note something about Craig because it's so important. Having a significant team, his parents have gone to every single one of his NFL games. He's played nine seasons in the NFL, so nine times 16, plus a couple of playoff games because he won a ring with the Giants.

They have never missed a game. Think about that. So, you know, to find that support, to find that team, whether it's your parents, whether it's your loved ones, you don't have to do it alone. Absolutely. What do you think is, like, the one thing, if you could say the one thing that you learned from, you know, your work with North Dakota, the Bisons, and their five national championships. What's one thing that you would take away from that work? Intentionality. Intentionality. There's things I can discuss and there's things I can't discuss about the intentionality,

which I know as a psychologist and a coach you can appreciate. But if you think of all that goes into performing on a Saturday, from nutrition to what goes on in the weight room to all of the pieces that make up that special program, everybody is tremendously intentional. Tremendously intentional. Break down the game film of your life and how intentional are you currently in driving the disciplines that are necessary for you to achieve success. That team breaks down every single discipline intentionally in order to drive success. So they know why they're doing what they're doing and the small things, they know how it connects to the larger purpose. Absolutely. Absolutely. I mean, think of every little possible detail, and they're dialed in on those details.

To the time that you run out onto the field, to who you run out onto the field with, it's a very intentional program. Everything is done with a purpose. Yeah, I think a lot of people can learn from that. You know, just thinking about your day. Do you do everything on purpose? You know, are you kind of just like lollygagging through the day or are you doing what you need to and how does that connect to your larger purpose? And there's something I can share with all of your listeners as well. I wrote a book called Your Mental Toughness Playbook and everybody can get a copy of that

book for free at freeplaybook.net. Just type your name and your email, and it'll email you a free copy. But you're exactly right. You know, having that blueprint, having that foundation, understanding where you want to go, and those are the six proven mental training tools that we use in our work that will help people provide and create that context of where they want to go. Because I always say that once you understand you have a vision, because I think a lot of times in our work, because I know from your work as well, you focus on the habits and the disciplines and the grit and the behaviors, is that people tend to focus on the activities every day. And sometimes I think they lose the fact, well, I don't need any goals. No, you have to have goals because the goals help you understand where you're going. Just don't

focus on the goals. Set the goal, believe in the goal, but then pull it down and put it right in front of your face because a big goal and a big vision will apply the pressure to cause you to take action every day. Absolutely. And I think some people, they have the goal, but they don't necessarily know how to get there or the daily disciplines to get there and then they lose focus on what you need to do every single day. And I think it also takes being truthful about where you are in order to understand where you can go. I shared the stage here in St. Louis on March the 6th with Ray Lewis, and I'm sure most of you sports fans, you know who Ray Lewis is. He's the greatest linebacker to ever play the the game greatest you know inspirational player they say of all time

and two Super Bowls a Super Bowl MVP and he and I spent time before we went to go speak to the audience just he and I hanging out as well as with Will Compton one of my friends who's a linebacker for the Washington Redskins and we're just having a nice conversation, and Ray got right in Will's face. And he says, hey, Will, you want to know what the difference was for me in my career? The difference was when I started breaking down my own game film, when I took personal accountability for myself. He said early on in my years in the NFL, I was playing four yards off the line of scrimmage. And he said, cop, he starts calling him cop, his nickname.

He says, cop, I was nasty from four yards. But he said, by breaking down my game film, I recognized that if I moved up to three, that one yard, they wouldn't know what to do with me, cop. And we know the rest of the story, don't we, cop? So I think for all of us in business or in sports, that's that constant improvement. You're talking about a guy who's the greatest to ever walk the face of the earth, and he's looking for that edge. He's looking for that difference.

He's saying, let me evaluate and be honest about the difference of that one yard, but then he chose to take action, and that's the key. When you break down the game film, if you see an area to improve, drive it. Drive it every day. So, Ben, let's talk about yourself as a high performer. So I have a few questions about that. Can you tell us, you know, I think that we best learn from failure. So and depending on if you use the word failure or not,

but I'd love to learn about a time that maybe didn't go so great for you and what you learned from it. Just with the idea that, you know, we're never perfect and we're all a work in progress. We're all constantly learning and growing. So do you have an example that you can share with us? Well, this interview may go several hours if you want to go into all of them, but I'll pick one. I think that's one thing, you know, when somebody does performance coaching type work or, you know, speaking, the amount of speaking that I do, people say, oh, that guy doesn't have challenge and adversity. He's a motivational speaker. It's like, you couldn't be more wrong. Number one, I take on the issues and

the problems of my clients because I love them to death and they become like family, but I get knocked down all the time too. And I think of a time in 2010, this is a fun story for everybody. So in 2010, I was actually still running a financial services practice in addition to having my speaking company. I was running both businesses. And a year got off to a really, really fast start. I was over 50% ahead for my goals on the financial advising side of things.

And I'll never forget, I'm on the phone with my wife, and I tell my wife, I'm like, babe, things are amazing right now. Everything's just going unbelievable. And I hung up the phone, and the next six months was like the most challenging six months of my entire life. I'm telling you, it was like I was in a prize fight. I was facing challenge and adversity every single day. So rule number one is stay humble and hungry. Don't tell anybody how great things are. Stay humble and hungry and keep working every day because it was almost like, you know,

God was speaking into my heart saying, hey, young man, you're not in control. I'm in control. And let me show you who's got the wheel. And let's see if you're willing to do what it's going to take to respond. And sure enough, it was my coach because I started focusing on results. And I need to sell something. I need to do this. And I was pulling away from the things that had made me successful and reverting back to the old behaviors before I understood the importance

of daily disciplines, not focus. So even though I was coaching to these aspects and speaking on them, I was reverting back to the old behaviors. And my coach said, how many times do you dial in the phone a day? How many times? And we had this conversation about intentionally getting back to the daily disciplines that had caused me to be successful in the past. And he helped me clearly understand, Ben, that's the only thing you can control right now.

You need to have a positive attitude. Your attitude, your effort, and your belief. Do you believe you'll get through this? Are you willing to put in the effort? And how's your attitude? And I reframed my attitude, I reframed my focus, and I went back to work. And it helped me get back on track in my financial services practice. I ended up selling the practice several years later, but it was good to know that I could have easily at that point in time said,

well, I'll just go back to coaching and I'll do this and forget that other business. But I learned so much about myself because it buried me financially, and it was a very, very tough, challenging period of time, but it helped me realize who was in control and what I had the ability to do when times were really hard professionally. And how do you use that now? Because my guess is, you know, one of the lessons you just said was you stay hungry or humble and hungry is what you said. Other ways, what are the ways that, you know that you use that experience now to be a better you?

That comes from my mentor, John Gordon, to stay humble and hungry. John is an individual who's on my team, who challenges me to grow, my coaches. It's that constant wanting to get better. Because if you really look at it, you know, in 2010, somebody making the statement, and I'm just being honest. Remember, you've got to be honest about where you are. If I were to break down the game film of that conversation with my wife, that was it, and this wasn't natural for me, but in that state,

because things were going so well, very ego-driven, very, you know, focused on, I've got control of this, everything's going great, this is me, me, me, and that's not how I operate my life, but sometimes we get into that state, so it's reminded me that I'm not in control, you know, I am playing for an audience of one, I do have to work every single day and it's everyday work that creates the impact on others. And if I intentionally focus on giving my best to others every day, financially things will be taken care of and everything takes care of itself. Nice. So many good things that you just said. Tell us about an aha moment that you've had in your career, you know, just focusing on yourself as a high performer. Can you think of in your career, you know, just focusing on yourself as a high performer.

Can you think of a moment that, you know, really made you learn something about your work and why you do what you do? Oh, there have been many, many aha moments for me. I'll tell you one that really broke me down emotionally. This is only the second interview, but as I told you, when it comes to these interviews, I go with what's on my heart rather than trying to prepare answers for people to say the perfect thing. So I'm going to give you the answer that hit my heart. It's only the second interview I've ever talked about this, and I've never put this out on Facebook or anything like that. So another little special piece for you because of our connection we have here. So after North Dakota State won the national championship on January the 9th, I had to

hop on a plane and fly to Washington, D.C. to prep Will Compton for his first playoff game in the NFL. So he's the starting middle linebacker from the Redskins. And I get on that plane, and actually I'm sitting at the airport, and I get a phone call from Will, and it says, I need a key to your hotel room. I said, I need a key to my hotel room. I haven't even checked into my hotel room. I'm like, what are you talking about?

He says, stop asking me questions. I need to get into your room. So I call the hotel. I arrange for him to get into my room. He says, I left something for you. And he says to me, I told you guys earlier, he says, you're so emotional, I can't give this to you in person before my game, so I told you, we become like brothers, we know how we're wired, so I said, okay, so like, here I am, I gotta fly, you know, across the country, and I'm like, what is in my

hotel room, so I walk into the room, it's after 11 o'clock, bed check was already done for the players, and as i walk in sitting on the bed is going to make me emotional sitting on the bed as i made my way closer was the first game ball that will compton was ever awarded as a member of the washington redskins wow and i sat there on the edge of the bed and i stared at it and uh cried. I cried like a baby. He was right. He wouldn't have wanted to have seen me. He wouldn't have been able to handle it. It would have been too much, but I sat there and I cried. That ball symbolized for me how special the work is that I have the opportunity to do every day. The relationships that are established, the people that you meet

that is way bigger than the game that you meet that is way bigger than the game of football. It's way bigger than a number of tackles or a sack or a national championship. It's about the people. It's about each and every one of you listening, figuring out what truly drives you, what motivates you, what inspires you, what is your real real purpose and going and fighting for that purpose every single day and i called will when the season was over and i told him i said i hope you recognize i'm only holding this ball temporarily i said i can't take this gift i said this gift belongs to

your children and i said and he doesn't have any children but i said when you have a child i said you're going to get this ball back because this ball does not belong to me. I said, I love you, and this means the world to me. But I said, I will give this ball to your children when they're born. And that ball for me, that was probably one of the most significant aha moments I've ever had in my life because of the significance of what that gift meant. Absolutely. You know, what I hear you saying a few times in this interview, Ben, is the word connection. And I think that story provides an example of the

connection that you make, which makes your work so much more powerful and meaningful. So thank you for sharing that for only the second time. You're welcome. Powerful story. You're welcome. So one of the questions I have for you, Ben, is if you look at that, the list I sent you, the top ten traits of high performers, which one of those do you feel personally that you crush at? Which one of those do you feel like, yeah, that's totally me and I'm great at that? Grit. Grit. Grit. Yeah, tell us why grit.

I love grit. You know, once again, and I'm just being a completely open book here, and I don't say this to impress anybody. It's to impress upon the point. You know, people see the number of times that I speak and the places around the world I get to speak and the athletes that I get to run around with. Oh, it's really easy for this guy.

If people got to walk around with me on a daily basis and they saw how purpose-driven I am, I'm not just a bunch of talk, and how hard I grind, and how intentional I am, this is the number of emails and text messages and phone calls have to go out today. They'll realize that grit is in my heart and it's who I am.

Because for me, my definition of grit is a series of monotonous behaviors that you're willing to do over and over and over and over and over again. And when you figure out what's going to drive your success and you just get that grit and you're willing to do it every day, it is amazing what you'll achieve in your life and it's amazing the impact you'll have on others. Yeah, and I think you're right, Ben. Sometimes we look at the people ahead of us in our journey and we think it's so easy for them, but we need to realize that they are gritty too, that they do the things that maybe aren't likable or that they don't like or that we don't want to do. Well, that brings up a great point. I want to mention something. I always, you know, whether it's an athlete or a business professional, because we do coaching work in both environments, I always encourage people, stay in your lane.

Stay in your lane. How easy would it be for me to compare myself to John Gordon, who he's my mentor, he's my coach, his speaking fees are twice what my speaking fees are. And for me to go, well, why aren't I getting paid what John's getting paid? But that's not what it's about. What it's about is me staying in my lane and me giving my best every day. And if I do that every day, then you know what my prayer is? My prayer is when I catch John Gordon, he's still twice what I'm currently doing because it's going to push me more. So stay in your lane, hammer those daily disciplines, and have people in your life that challenge you so that you can never catch them.

If you have mentors and coaches that you'll never catch, they're always going to force you to grow, and it's going to challenge you to stay uncomfortable, which you talk about as well. And when you stay uncomfortable, that's when you really build your mental toughness. Absolutely. What do you think the reason is that we compare ourselves to others and typically people that are maybe further along in our journey instead of those behind us? Well, I think it goes back to what we shared earlier about the fact that we naturally want to focus on results rather than the things that we can control, right? So if somebody's getting bigger results than we are,

probably natural if you're in that results mindset that you're going to focus on the result. Why don't I have what they have? Why don't I get to do what they have the ability to do? As opposed to saying, if I operate daily doing these behaviors, my story is going to take care of itself, and I can utilize their story as motivation for me. Nice, nice. Ben, which of those traits do you see yourself still working on? And I ask you that question because we're all a work in progress. So I think it's probably that, you know, comfortable being uncomfortable.

I am very uncomfortable all the time, but it's one of the things I just had a conversation with my coach about is we need to throttle down on making me even more uncomfortable. I mean, if I'm really going to go to that next level of where I have the opportunity to have extreme growth, we got to be intentional in the details, right? Intentional in the details. What areas of the business can we make better? How can we serve more people? But it's also just that staying uncomfortable and being challenged and being pushed.

Because just like in 2010, it's not okay anymore to say, oh, things are fantastic. That's when you throttle down. That's when you go to work. And even though I know that's what I have to do, it's probably still the biggest area of opportunity for me. Excellent. Well, thank you for sharing that and just being such an open book about, you know, your strengths and your areas of improvement. And if anybody would like to get that list, you can go to Dr. Sindra, D-R-C-I-N-D-R-A, and you can find that list there. Okay, we're going to go to the speed round, Ben.

I'm ready. What I'd like to do is just tell us the first thing that comes to your mind. If you could recommend a book or a resource for the audience, those people who are working to reach their greater potential, what would you recommend? Training Camp by John Gordon. Yeah, why do you like that? Oh, it's just one of my favorite books. Coach Ken in that book is one of my favorite characters out of any book that's ever been written. I don't just say it because it's John that wrote it. I think it's just a

special character that has this special relationship with one of his players, and it's what inspires me to do what I do. Excellent. And what's one word that people describe you as? Fired up. That's two words. I saw that on your Skype account. I was like, love it, love it. Fired up. And what's the best advice you've ever received? Best advice came from my mom. It's not how long you live, it's how you choose to live your life. Wow. It's not how long you live, but how you choose to live your life. That's the greatest life lesson I've ever learned. Amazing. And do you have a quote that you live by or is there a quote maybe that you use

that you continually kind of think about? Yes. Your success is not just about changing your habits. It's about changing the way that you think. So it's a combination of both. One of the first rules of sports psychology, which I'm sure you've shared with your audience, is that for an athlete to perform at their highest level, they can't solely rely on their natural talents and abilities. They have to understand the mental toughness side of what it takes to achieve peak performance. So it's that balance of the habits and the thinking that will be the difference for you.

Habits plus thinking equals success. That's right. We'll put it in the equation. There you go. And a few final questions for you, Ben. So what advice do you have for those people who are listening who want to use their mind to reach their greater potential? Find your purpose.

Find your purpose. If you have had difficulty finding that purpose, then Google videos about it. Go to a coach. Go to a friend who's clear on their purpose. Find a way to identify what that purpose is and then take that vision and that purpose. Identify the daily process that will drive success and attack the process. Nice. So that gets back to your kind of two traits of the things that you think differentiate those that are really successful, find their purpose, and then what's the daily discipline to get there.

That's right. Nice. So how can we reach out to you? Tell us how we can find you, Ben. So social media contacts is at Continued Fight. So I learned that from my mom. You know, life is no longer just a sprint. It's a sprint.

It's a marathon. It's a boxing match. So it's at Continued Fight. So that's, you know, Snapchat and Instagram and Twitter. And then Facebook is just my name, Ben Newman. And the website is bennewman.net. Awesome, Ben. I know you have several books.

One, by the way, I have right here. So just bought this one for myself. So the book I have is Leave Your Legacy. I know you can find it on Amazon. That's where I bought it. Ben, tell us more about your books and the resources you have and your services for those people who are listening. Yeah, so I have written six books, and Leave Your Legacy is the most recent one. There's also Your Mental Toughness Playbook that I gave away for free earlier, freeplaybook.net, so make sure everybody goes to that site. And then Own Your Success is another fable that I've written. The book Fight the Good Fight, you know, all the books are on

Amazon. And as far as services goes, we do have a group coaching program, so people can learn about that at IWantGroupCoaching.com. So I think it's about the cheapest possible coaching you could ever find in the industry, but it's designed to really help people drive that daily accountability. So once you establish your plan, the accountability piece or having that coach. Everybody's got a coach. The North Dakota State Bison have not won five straight national championships without coaching. So it's everybody having a coach or accountability, whether you're able to afford somebody one-on-one or you can use a group model.

Having somebody that helps drive that accountability will make a difference in your life. So the websites, there's three that you mentioned. I just want to repeat it for those listeners. I want groupcoaching.com to learn more about your coaching. Obviously, bennewman.net. And then to get your free mental toughness playbook, you can go to freeplaybook.net. Those are them. All right, awesome.

And I will put those all in the show notes for people who just want to click on the link. Great. Ben, I want to commend you and thank you so much for your energy and your passion that you shared with us today. I could feel that you're working to connect with the audience and the listeners, and I just want to thank you for that. There's several things that stood out to me about this interview that I just want to tell you back just so you can hear what stood out to me and what I'm taking away. And I know just from getting feedback from the listeners, they like when I wrap up like that. So I heard the two things that really make people great are that they have a deep connection to their purpose and they work every day on their daily disciplines. You mentioned that many times. I love that principle. You also

talked about the power of reframing and just like your stories about your mother, so inspiring and meaningful. And I can tell that that really drives you every single day. And, you know, just the lessons that she she taught you that you're leaving and that you're continuing to impact and share with others. You also talked about how that the best attack adversity in real time and they don't like just let their problems continue and they don't run from their fears. So they attack the process. I loved your story about North Dakota State and how they use that to improve their performance. So, Ben, man, awesome today.

Thank you so much. I'm so glad that we were able to connect. And I can't wait until you're here with the Minnesota Vikings. I can come see you. There you go. November 20th. November 20th. November 20th.

I will see you there. November 20th. I look forward to it. Thank you so much November 20th. November 20th. November 20th. I will see you there. November 20th. I look forward to it. Thank you so much for the opportunity to be with all your listeners and continue to go do great things. Awesome. Thank you so much, Ben. Thank you.

Thank you for listening to High Performance Mindset. If you like today's podcast, make a comment, share it with a friend, and join the conversation on Twitter at Mentally Underscore Strong. For more inspiration and to receive Sindra's free weekly videos, check out DrSindra.com.