High Performance Mindset | Learn from World-Class Leaders, Consultants, Athletes & Coaches about Mindset - 608: The Key to Happiness

Episode Date: March 26, 2024

Much of our happiness can be changed by engaging in daily, intentional activities that impact how we act and think. In fact, happiness also comes from the relationships we develop. This week be even more deliberate about building relationships and being present in them.  This Week’s Power Phrase: “I choose happiness by building relationships around me.” Quote of the Week: "Happiness is not the goal…it’s a by product of a life well-lived.” - Elenor Roosevelt

Hi, friends. My name is Dr. Sindra Kampoff, a national leader in the field of sport and performance psychology. Every week, I'm on the local radio sharing my top tips on exactly how to develop the mindset of the world's best so you can accomplish all your dreams. Get ready for a jammed, packed episode focused on practical tips to help you get after your goals and step out of your comfort zone. Let's go. We're checking in with Cindra Kampoff. Cindra, we're kind of remoting in today. You are not in your normal spot. You're in D.C. What are you doing? I am speaking at the Homes for Heroes event. It's an event where real estate professionals come in and I'm giving them some strategies and mental tools to help be their best more often.

So I'm really excited about it. Well, nice. And they're pretty lucky to have you out there. But thank you for taking the time to talk to us today about the key to happiness. That's our topic today. And you're going to give us a quote to start us off with. I love this quote by Eleanor Roosevelt. And she said, happiness is not the goal.

It's a byproduct of a well-lived life. A byproduct. I like it. And I love Eleanor Roosevelt. What inspired the topic for you today? Well, Lisa, a lot of people think that, you know, maybe having more accomplishments, such as making a certain amount of money or maybe getting married, might make us happy. But really, these are short-lived terms of happiness. And so there's a concept in positive psychology called the hedonic treadmill, which basically means when people reach a milestone like buying a car or getting a raise, they have a jolt of happiness. But eventually this happiness and their happiness returns to baseline.

And so this feels what's called the hedonic treadmill, where we're continually looking for, you know, what's the next change that's going to bring us more happiness. And we can be constantly searching for happiness when we're on this hedonic treadmill. Well, what would you say contributes to most of our happiness? Well, great question. There's a new study that is an 85-year-old Harvard study of adult development. And this just came out. And what the authors found is that relationships are actually key to develop happiness and experiencing happiness more often. And so this is what the researchers said, because I think it's a really powerful statement, Lisa. They said, contrary to what you might think, it's not career achievement, money, exercise or a healthy diet. The most consistent finding we've learned through 85 years of study is that positive relationships keep us happier, healthier, and help us live

longer, period. So positive relationships is the key. All right. So now knowing that, what do you recommend that we do based on that finding? Well, knowing that, what I'd recommend is to really help you think about how do you build intentional relationships, right? Sometimes we're so busy trying to complete the next task or trying to accomplish a goal that we might think will make us happy. And we don't take a step back to really think about how are we building relationships really carefully. And so, you know, I think the recommendation would be, you know, to be present in our relationships. And what the authors of the study suggested that we show curiosity, even if you think you know someone really well, you know,

listen carefully when people talk, express interest in them. And all of these, you know, can make these even short interactions with other people even more meaningful and more beneficial to us. So what else is important for us to be considering about our own happiness? Well, we're also going to talk today about two myths of happiness. And there's lots of different myths. But you know, the first myth is that happiness must be found. And it's not anything that we find, right? It's not about accomplishing more things. And much of our happiness comes from what we're talking about today is relationships and people. But it also comes from our intentional thoughts and our actions. And you know, I think what that helps us realize is that we do have agency to

choose really powerful strategies that can make us happier. And really, happiness is within inside us. It's not about accomplishing more or doing more. What's another myth of happiness? Another myth is that happiness lies in just changing our circumstances. Right. And a lot of times, you know, our default can be, you know, I'll just be happy if this happens or I'll be happy when this happens. But that's really what this hedonic treadmill really means. And so sometimes we can easily just look at the past or, and think about a time we are happy and just wonder if we can really be happy, you know, that happy again, or we wish for things to make us happy. But again,

what's most important is just to notice what does make you happy and accomplishing things short term will give you short term happiness. But really, the long term relationship and happiness come from the relationships we really build. So, Cinder, how would you summarize today for us? I would say much of our happiness can be changed by engaging in really daily intentional activities, like building relationships and really paying attention to what we're thinking about and how we're acting. And happiness does come from relationships we develop. So this week, you know, I'm just going to continue to have people keep that in mind and think about how they can just be really deliberate about building relationships and being present in them. All right, we're going to end the day with a power phrase today. What's the power phrase?

I choose happiness by building relationships around me. All right. And if people want to get in touch with you and follow along with your work, where can they go? They can head over to Dr. Sindra, so D-R-C-I-N-D-R-A dot com. And my speaking information is over there. Our coaching is over there. And then you can pick up our Beyond Grit book that talks about happiness as well. Way to go for finishing another episode of the High Performance Mindset. I'm giving you a virtual fist pump. Holy cow, did that go by way too fast for anyone else? If you want more, remember to subscribe and you can head over to Dr.

Sindra for show notes and to join my exclusive community for high performers where you get access to videos about mindset each week. So again, you can head over to Dr. Sindra. That's D-R-C-I-N-D-R-A dot com. See you next week.